Regression
by Linda09
Summary: Clark's worst nightmare is coming true, all he had ever wanted was Lana Lang and now Lois is going make sure he gets her. Clois - Story moves between T mostly to M for the occasional strong language and sexual content .
1. Chapter 1

NOTE: In this story after Lana/Lex got divorced, Clark left to do his training, he did not get back together with Lana.

**

_Be careful what you wish for, or you just might get it._

Summary: Clark's worst nightmare is coming true, all he had ever wanted was Lana Lang and now Lois is going make sure he gets her.

_Regression: the act of going back to a previous place or state; return or reversion._

**Chapter 1**

"Is Lois awake yet mom?" Clark asked as he stepped into the kitchen after completing his morning chores.

"No honey, I thought I heard her a little while ago but she hasn't made an appearance yet." Martha responded, while smoothly transferring her last batch of pancakes to the hot plate on the side board, and carrying it over to the table before taking her seat.

Chloe, who was already seated at the table reading the newspaper, poked her head up "So Clark, all ready for your engagement party next Saturday?" She enquired before reaching for her share of pancakes.

"Yep, be even readier if my fiancé would wake up, so we can start getting things organised" he laughed, taking a seat and helping himself to breakfast.

"Hah, that's just Lois, she's probably sleeping in on purpose." Chloe responded.

The quiet of the kitchen was only disturbed by the scrape of cutlery on plates and the radio playing softly in the background.

"I can't believe you and Lois are actually engaged, even though you've been together for ages, I still remember how much you couldn't stand each other when you first met" laughed Chloe, to which Clark and Martha joined in.

"Yes honey, remember how all you wanted to do was get rid of her. I think you went about it the wrong way" Martha teased.

"Well I finally woke up to myself mom" Clark replied.

"That's sweet."

"Yeah, I finally realised that she was never going to go away, so I decided to marry her instead" Clark said laughingly.

"Clark..." Martha chided.

"You know I'm kidding, it took me almost two years just to get her to go out with me, but it was all worth it in the end, I finally got her" Clark said in satisfaction.

"I wish your father could be here, he would be so proud and pleased. He loved Lois like a daughter you know" Martha smiled a little tearfully.

Clark gave her a reassuring hug and wished his dad could have been there too, he had never stopped missing Jonathan Kent and had always deeply regretted his part in his passing. But no matter how much he wished otherwise, Lois had taught him, that you played that hand that you were dealt and dwelling on missed opportunities and regrets brought nothing but doubt and bitterness.

Thinking of his fiancé he couldn't help but smile at how lucky he was. He still found it completely unfathomable that he hadn't seen what was right in front of his eyes for so many years. How on earth had he kept chasing after and 'mooning' over Lana when Lois was front and centre for all that time.

He supposed it was a blessing, when he had fallen in love with Lois, she hadn't felt the same way, so he could imagine how much worse it would have been, loving her for eight years without it being reciprocated in the slightest, and at least his relationship with Lana had taught him what NOT to look for in the person you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

Although, being with Lois had taught him a whole new set of relationship rules. The first being, that when she screwed up or hurt him, it wasn't up to him to go running to her begging for forgiveness, she was big enough to do that for herself.

He remembered their first couple fight. He had gone to her and asked her to forgive him and she had been shocked that he had thought he had to make up, when she had clearly been in the wrong. She had taken his hand, led him over to the couch and explained that when she was wrong, as much as it pained her to admit it, it was up to her to make things right, not him. And she was sorry that she hadn't already done that.

He had been amazed at that, he didn't want to bring up Lana, and point out that she was really his only point of reference with regard to relationships, so Lois did, and told him that all that he learnt in his relationship with Lana should be thrown out the window, unless he really thought she and Lana were alike in anyway, in which case it was time they broke up.

He had stumbled over his words, quickly trying to let her know that he knew she was nothing like Lana, and was infinitely glad for it, then they'd laughed and Lois had proposed they have make up sex, after all she said 'they might as well get something out of it, after being so miserable for two days', he hadn't needed any convincing.

He had still screwed up every now and again and a couple of times had reverted to his 'Lana ways' as Lois called them, but eventually she'd beaten them out of him, he'd happily pointed out.

***

The quiet in the kitchen was disturbed by the stumbling and grumblings coming from upstairs and Clark, very familiar with Lois' morning routine, quickly poured a cup of coffee and went to stand at the bottom of the stairs with hand out stretched holding the precious java.

Lois came shuffling down, with her eyes partially closed, took the cup, had a sip of coffee, shuffled over to the table, sat down, and let her eyes close fully, while inhaling the scents of coffee and breakfast in the kitchen. By the time she'd gulped down half the cup her eyes were mostly open and she was reaching for a pancake but when she looked around she noticed that everyone staring at her "What ….oh shit, um sorry Mrs Kent, what the hell happened?"

"What do you mean, nothing's happened" Chloe pointed out.

"The hell it hasn't, what's going on? You know I'm not quite with it first thing in the morning, are you all trying to drive me crazy, cause that's just not nice."

"Lo, what are you talking about?" Clark asked concerned. He knew that jokes before Lois was awake, would earn him a one way ticket to sleeping on the couch, so he never even entertained the thought.

"What am I talking about, oh well let's see, Smallville your wearing glasses and either Chloe's hair grows faster than anyone else's, or it's grown 6 inches overnight, you all look older and what's with you calling me Lo?"

"Lois, we look the same way we always look" Cloe replied, while simultaneously sharing a confused look with both Clark and Martha.

"No Chlo, as I just stated you don't, and you know, it's kind of funny but I don't remember coming here last night, I must have had more to drink then I thought. Although I don't remember drinking much either and by the way, what's this ring for?" Lois asked in confusion, holding up her left hand and wiggling her ring finger.

"Lois, don't you remember coming here with Clark and me after work yesterday?"

"No Chloe, I just said I don't. What's going on, how and why are we here? Oh don't get me wrong Mrs Kent, you know me, I'd travel anywhere just for your cooking and I love staying here at the farm, but why aren't we at our apartment at the Talon?" Lois looked at Chloe, waiting for an answer.

"The Talon! Lois you and I haven't lived at the Talon for years, not since we moved to Metropolis" Chloe was baffled, the whole conversation had taken a turn for the bizarre.

"Chlo, I don't live in Metropolis, it feels like I do sometimes with all the travelling back and forth, but I live here in Smallville, and you're sharing my apartment until the Met U's dorms are rebuilt, remember."

"Lo, that happened in 2007" Clark put in

"Yeah so?"

"So, its 2015" Chloe said slowly and clearly.

"No it's 2007" Lois replied back in the same manner.

"Lois, 2007 was eight years ago, it's now 2015" Clark put in.

'Don't be ridiculous, if it was 2015, I'd be 28, I'm only 20" Lois stated as if that was the end of the matter and was now expecting everyone to fess up to some huge joke being played on her.

"Lois honey, it really is 2015" Martha told her gently, after sharing a shocked looked with Clark and Chloe.

"Ok, you know I appreciate a good joke as much as the next person, but this is seriously un-funny. You're trying to tell me I'm 28 years old, when I know I'm not. I'm 20, I remember turning 20; I do not remember anything after that."

Chloe turned the newspaper around so Lois could read the date, hoping that it would clear up Lois' confusion or get her to stop playing games. She agreed with Lois that the situation was un-funny and couldn't understand why she insisted on perpetuating what was so clearly, a not funny joke.

After reading the date on the newspaper, Lois ran to the mirror and was shocked at what she saw. She had changed, aged and didn't understand how it could happen. When she turned to face the others, they could see that she wasn't joking or tying to tease, she really didn't know what had happened.

Lois walked back to the table, took her seat and picked up her coffee cup. This was all just too weird. Weird things were always happening in Smallville, but this was something she had never experienced before.

"Ok, we need to figure out what's going on. Lois, do you feel any different, even a little?" Chloe asked, while Clark and Martha waited quietly for her answer.

"No."

"What about when you first woke up?" Chloe probed.

"No…..well ok, a little but not now" Lois shrugged one shoulder to signify her bewilderment.

"What do you mean not now, did you feel different before?" Chloe questioned.

"Well, when I first woke up it was strange; it was like there were two people…no not people, two lots of memories fighting in my head. I thought I must have been hung-over, because some of the memories didn't make sense and I didn't remember them ever happening. I tried to get up but was kind of dizzy, so just lay back down. I must have fallen back to sleep because when I woke up the second time, I was fine."

Lois looked over at the three people in the room. She could tell that Clark wasn't listening or particularly interested in what she was saying, which was not surprising. Their relationship was more on the thorny side than anything and unless her name was Lana Lang, he wouldn't be all that attentive, but she would have thought he'd care at least a little bit that something had clearly happened and that she was scared. She should've known better. But Chloe and Martha at least did want to hear her and help, for which she was grateful.

Clark shook himself out of the trance he had fallen into, apologised for having to leave and ran out the door.

"Typical, I know I'm not Lana but you'd think just once, he show an ounce of interest in something that doesn't concern her, well I guess nothing's changed in eight years" Lois stated unsurprised.

Realising that Lois had no idea that Clark was Superman and exactly why he had run off, the two women tried to reassure her that he really did have urgent business that needed tending too, and began trying to pour oil before the waters could become too troubled.

"Hey don't worry about it, Smallville and I understand each other. I'm not mad, just not overly surprised. Anyway, forget about Clark for now, we have to figure out what's going on, but first I really need a shower, I feel all icky and grungy" And with that Lois returned upstairs.

***

"Ok, we've got trouble. Lois thinks she's 20 …..or she is 20, I don't know which and to make matters worse, she also thinks Clark is an inconsiderate slob unless you're name is Lana Lang." Turning to Mrs Kent, Chloe encountered the same troubled look that she knew was reflected on her own face and the two ladies silently shared the same hope, that in true Lois fashion, she would have a very long shower and Clark would get back before she returned downstairs, so they could let him know the latest development.

"Lois said she first woke up with two lots of memories, and that's the part that most concerns me" Martha supplied, moving into the living room and making herself comfortable on the couch.

"I know, that's the part that makes me think she really is 20 and somehow or someway, her 28 year old self is in there but being suppressed. But how could that happen and who or what could want to make that happen?" Chloe questioned, pacing up and down in agitation.

Clark returned in time to hear the tale end of the question and asked if the whole could be repeated, explaining that unfortunately, just as Lois had started talking, he'd heard a broadcast of a train derailment and missed most what was said.

Once filled him in, he didn't know whether to focus on the part where Chloe believed that they were dealing with a 20 year old Lois, or that his fiancé really thought he didn't care because she wasn't Lana.

"Ok, first things first, I need to explain to her where I've been and why I left" He said scrubbing a hand through his hair.

"Clark, this Lois knows nothing about Superman, how are you going to tell her, it could change everything" Chloe protested.

"I'm going to tell her Chlo, I'm not going to let her think that I don't care about her because she's not Lana. Lana was never much of an issue between us thank god, and I have no intention of letting her becoming one now" He countered, waving her to a seat next to his mother before sitting down in the recliner.

"Clark …."

"No Chloe, on this I'm not budging, Lois is the woman I love, and I'm not going to let her to think otherwise" He said with an air of finality.

"Clark's right dear, he needs to tell her about Superman, otherwise Lois will think that Clark doesn't care, or that she can't depend on him in all this confusion" Martha put in.

"Ok, besides, I don't remember Lois ever telling us that when she was 20 she went to the future, and I think she would have ……I hope" Chloe replied troubled.

"She would have told me Chlo, Lois tells me everything. It took a long time to get to that stage, but we are there now, so I know she would have said something. Which can only mean that when she reverts back to being her older self, or her younger self goes back, she never remembered being here. So her knowing about Superman and her life now, won't hurt or change anything" Clark pointed out.

"Yeah ok, but we still have to be careful with what we tell her, we don't want to confuse or frighten her if we can help it and …….oh my god!" Chloe cried suddenly.

"What, what's wrong?" Clark asked, when no answer was forthcoming he took Chloe's hand and gave it a shake "Chloe, what?"

"Oh my god Clark, remember, when Lois was 20, I called you one day, I had spent the previous night with Jimmy so didn't know anything was wrong at first. But when I hadn't heard from Lois the next day, and she wasn't answering my calls, and she hadn't turned up for work at the Inquisitor, and your mom hadn't heard from her, I called you to go over to her apartment at the Talon and when you got there…." she trailed off.

"I found her asleep. At first she just appeared to be sleeping, but I couldn't wake her up, so I called an ambulance and had her taken to the Smallville Medical Centre" Clark finished.

They had all been worried, but the doctors couldn't find anything wrong with Lois. They had said she wasn't in a coma, but she _was_ unconscious, or in a very deep sleep. She wasn't in distress like the time Lex's lab experiment had gone wrong, it had to have been something else but they couldn't explain it and unless or until Lois woke up, there was nothing to be done.

"Oh honey, of course, it makes sense doesn't it?" Martha exclaimed in distress.

"Yeah, it's the only thing that does but I just didn't connect it until now, why would I, why would any of us. But we never did find out what caused it, the doctors didn't know and Lois flat out refused to discuss it, I think the whole episode just freaked her out too much. She hates losing control and that was a situation beyond her control and because she wasn't harmed in any way, I just let it drop" Chloe commented.

"But when Lois woke up, she had no memories, dreams, flashbacks, nothing, and when questioned, she said she just felt like she'd been asleep and now, we obviously know this is where she was….here in this time. Which means, that whatever happened to her, had to have happened here, in the future, and that's why, not only could the doctors not find anything wrong with her, she also had no memory of ever being here" She concluded.

Clark had been silent during the whole of Chloe's recital. He remembered that time clearly, but knowing helped little, like Chloe had said, Lois had refused to discuss it or delve into it and unfortunately at that point in his life, although he was certainly glad that she was ok and didn't appear to suffer any harm from the experience, it meant that he was able to revert back to dwelling on the failure of his relationship with Lana Lang once again.

"Ok, so we have somewhere to start, but we still don't know what caused it" Martha put in.

"And at the moment, we also don't know how to fix it to send her back. We must have figured it out, because she woke up five days later, but we need to try and figure out where to start looking for answers" Chloe said with determination.

"So have you come up with anything, or is this just one of those Smallville freak occurrences again?" Lois asked.

No one had heard her come down the stairs, they were too busy lost in thought of where to start to looking for answers, while the memory of that time eight years previously played in their heads.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_Day One – 2007_

Chloe Sullivan was worried, she hadn't heard from her cousin Lois all day, not a phone call, text message, e-mail, nothing. That was unusual for Lois, the two tried to connect every day, even if it was just a quick phone call to say 'hey'. She'd talked to Lois the day before when she told her cousin that she'd be staying with her boyfriend Jimmy overnight, but that was the last time they'd spoken.

She knew she was probably being silly and worrying over nothing but she also knew that Lois had a propensity for getting into trouble, even though Lois adamantly and emphatically stated that trouble found HER, she didn't go looking for IT. How she could say that, considering the type of stories she went after for that rag the Inquisitor, Chloe didn't know.

She had already left messages for Lois to call her back at both the Inquisitor and on her voice mail but had had no response, and quickly came to the conclusion that she was probably worrying over nothing. It was only two o'clock in the afternoon and more than likely Lois had just got caught up with a story and forgot to call her back. She'd call Lois again and tease her about not returning calls, then drop into the conversation that just for worrying her, Lois could pay for dinner, Chinese sounded good and they hadn't had it for at least a week.

However, when she called the Inquisitor, she was told Lois hadn't turned up for work, after hanging up she quickly tried Lois' cell phone again but there was still no answer, she tried Mrs Kent, hoping that Lois had just gotten busy with one thing or another for the Senator but that call brought no joy, as Mrs Kent also hadn't heard from Lois.

Now Chloe was really worried, she was in Metropolis, if Lois was still in Smallville that was a three hour drive, and she didn't think her nerves could stand the wait. She'd call Clark, he might have heard from Lois and if not, he could get to the Talon before she had even hung up the phone.

She waited for him to pick up, hoping that he wasn't working out far in the fields or up in the barn loft, too busy brooding to pay attention to a ringing phone. When he finally picked up, Chloe was so relieved that she blurted out what she had to say so fast, that Clark had to get her to repeat it.

No, he hadn't heard from or seen Lois for a couple of days, which wasn't all that unusual. He'd been trying to avoid the Talon and going into town the last week or two, as he really didn't want to run into Lana, or more truthfully he did, but as she was now engaged to Lex, he really didn't want to run into the 'happy couple'.

Chloe quickly cut him off, she really didn't have the time or inclination to listen to his Lana woes, "Clark, can you please shut up. I haven't heard from Lois all day, I've tried her cell but she's not answering, your mom hasn't heard from her and she didn't turn up for work at the Inquisitor. Can you please just go to the Talon and see if she's there or in her apartment, I'm really worried. Lois and I talk every day and her not calling me, or returning any of my calls is really starting to scare me."

Clark replied that he thought Chloe was over reacting, but had to concede that Lois did find trouble quicker than anyone he knew, so he agreed to go and track her down.

As soon as she hung Chloe spoke to her supervisor, and said that she had to leave early, citing a family emergency. She knew she couldn't do anything, but getting a head start towards Smallville was better than just waiting for the phone to ring. She wouldn't be able to concentrate on work anyway.

All she could do now was wait and hope that whatever had happened, Lois was alright. Besides if she was in trouble, Clark could and would help her, everything would be alright, Clark was on his way, or actually he'd be there by now and soon Lois would be calling and telling her off for sending the 'farm-boy' to bug her, which she really didn't need or want, thankyou very much. Chloe looked forward to that phone call and resolved to bite her tongue no matter what Lois said.

***

Clark raced to the Talon, he really did think Chloe was getting her self worked up over nothing, there wasn't much Lois couldn't handle by herself. More than likely she was just running around after another alien or big foot story for the Inquisitor. He never let on to her that he read her articles, that would go against their friendship teasing, and although the stories were usually about complete rubbish (alien's not withstanding) she made them both humorous and entertaining.

When he got to the Talon he was very glad that neither Lana nor Lex were there. He really didn't want to get drawn into polite, fake, smile conversation, or have to see the gloating look in Lex's eyes, or the glare from Lana reminding him that he had lost her through no fault of hers.

Looking around, he noted that Lois wasn't in the coffee shop and after receiving a negative response when he asked one of the waitresses if they had seen her that day, either in the shop or leaving, he decided to go up to her apartment.

He tried knocking for several minutes but as there was no response he debated just breaking the lock and going in. The last time he had just walked in, Lois had been particularly annoyed, she had been showing that flimsy piece of lingerie to Chloe, and although he had enjoyed the peep show, she had not enjoyed providing it. His ears still rang with the telling off she gave him but Chloe was worried, and although he didn't fancy getting another serve of Lois Lane sarcasm, he really didn't want to tell Chloe that he'd chickened out because Lois frightened him.

He took a deep breath and decided x-raying the apartment would be the better option, hoping that she wasn't entertaining any visitors. She may not have a boyfriend but that didn't mean she would be alone. Lois was an independent creature and she'd shaken off the rejection she'd received from Oliver like skin that was too tight and got on with her life. Besides unlike him, she hadn't devoted her life to one person, and unlike him, she was happy with her life or relatively so.

After x-raying the apartment he found her alone in bed, and quite obviously asleep. Why she'd be sleeping at 2.30 in the afternoon he didn't know, but if she'd stayed up late or had been running around too much the night before she could just be catching up on some much needed rest. However, he had come to her apartment for a reason, Chloe was counting on him, so he'd brave the Lane wrath, wake her up and tell her to call her cousin. Then he'd remind her to set her alarm, or at least wake up at a decent hour so Chloe wouldn't worry again, and he wouldn't have to waste his time tracking her down only to find her sleeping.

But after calling and shaking her for several minutes there was still no response. He couldn't see any sleeping pills or tablets, booze or anything that would cause her to sleep so deeply. It wasn't even as if he was shaking or calling her gently, his voice had gotten louder and his shaking had become quite vigorous, even though he had still tempered the strength of it.

Now he was getting worried as well, this could not be natural, the last time people couldn't wake up in Smallville it had been truly frightening and for some, deadly. He listened to her heart but it wasn't beating fast or irregularly, so didn't think it was the same thing, and besides no one else in town seemed to be suffering from the affliction. Then again not everyone had succumbed at the same time and he wasn't a doctor, he had to get her to the Medical Centre.

He called for an ambulance, explained the situation then called his mom and Chloe. He explained that when he found Lois, that she appeared to be sleeping but he couldn't wake her up. Like him they both remembered the last time that had happened, but he assured them that after listening to her heart, she didn't appear to be in any distress. Of course that didn't take away the fear that something was clearly wrong. He told them he was waiting for the paramedics; and that he'd go with her to the Medical Centre and meet them there.

During the drive to the Medical Centre, both Chloe and Martha Kent had more than enough time to think over the situation. They were equally worried, and both remembered the last time a similar situation had occurred. Although Clark had assured them Lois didn't appear to be distressed, they both had to agree that he wasn't a doctor, so couldn't really know. The last time people's adrenaline was too high, it caused problems with their hearts and surely if there was a problem like that, Clark would have detected it. Then again last time Clark didn't detect anything so how could they know.

The same thoughts kept circling in their minds over and over. Clark didn't hear anything unusual which was a blessing, but at the same time, he didn't last time either. The only thing they could do now was hope that Lois would be alright.

***

Martha arrived first, her trip had only taken an hour so she was able to get there that much faster. When she arrived she found Clark in the waiting room on the phone to an understandably upset Chloe. She took the phone from Clark, promised Chloe that she'd see if she could get any new on Lois and call her back, but only if Chloe promised to drive safely. The last thing she wanted was for

Chloe to have an accident and be injured trying to get back.

When she hung up, Clark informed her that Lois had been checked in but that the doctors were still with her.

"I'm worried mom. I don't think this is like the last time but how do we know. I'm thinking of going to see Lex to find out if he knows anything but considering he'd probably just lie or try to cover it up, I don't know what good it would do" Clark confided.

"Let's just wait and see what the doctors have to say. They'd know what to look for, especially after the last time, so let's just give them a chance, ok?" Martha tried to keep her voice soothing and calm but in truth she was worried. Lois was like a daughter to her and although her two kids fought and bickered, she knew that neither she nor Clark would take loosing Lois well, especially in light Jonathan's passing less than a year ago.

Oh, it may not have the same impact, but it would hurt for a long time and she just didn't know how loosing Lois would affect either of them because she had become such a big part of their lives in such a short amount of time.

She patted Clark's hand then walked over to the nurse's station, hoping to get some news or an update that would put their fears to rest, something that she could pass onto Chloe that would still the rising hysteria that she had heard building in the younger woman's voice.

Unfortunately the nurses had no news and just said that they would have to wait for the doctors to finish before hearing anything.

Martha returned to her seat beside Clark in the waiting room, picked up the phone and called Chloe. She told Chloe that there was no news but that she wasn't to work herself up, there were no running feet or alarms going of, so to please drive safely and as soon as they heard anything they would call her back.

Chloe calmed down slightly, and said she would be there in another hour, yes she was driving fast, but she promised she was being careful and she had in truth already left the Planet before Clark had called because she'd wanted to see Lois for herself, so had gotten a half hour head start.

After hanging up the phone Martha turned to Clark with a worried frown "Clark, Chloe mentioned that she was already in her car on the way when you called her. It's not that I don't believe her, but I know she's worried about Lois, so I'm worried she's going to drive carelessly herself, tell me honey, was she telling the truth. I won't say anything to her for lying because I understand it, but I just want to know."

"She's telling the truth mom, she was already on the road when I called her, I think she must have jumped in her car as soon as she hung up from me" Clark reassured.

"Ok honey, I just had to know, the last thing we need is for Lois to wake up, only to be told that Chloe is injured because she had a car accident while frantically trying to get to her."

***

It was a further thirty minutes before the Dr Taylor exited Lois' room. He was at reluctant at first to impart any information about Lois to anyone who was not a parent, or relative and so didn't feel that discussing Lois condition was an option with either of the Kent's.

However, once Martha explained their relationship both personal and professional with Lois, he took them aside and gave them the information they had been waiting for.

"I can't find anything wrong with her, and her pupils are reacting normally. She's not in a coma but she IS unconscious and although I wasn't here the last time there was a 'sleeping' incursion, she doesn't appear to be suffering any of the effects that were present in the patients last time. Her adrenaline's not up, her heart is beating clear and regular and she doesn't appear to have an abundance of alcohol in her system. Her blood's being tested for both drugs and alcohol as a precaution and I'm also going to have a CAT scan done to make sure that there's been no trauma to her skull, but so far, it's almost as if she's in a deep sleep. For now we have to wait on the test results and hope that shows something to explain what could be wrong." He concluded.

"But surely that's not natural, nobody sleeps so deeply for no reason, there has to be something that's causing this?" Clark asked.

"Yes, there should be a reason, but at the moment we're at a loss, I'm going to wait for her blood tests and CAT scan to come back, and hope something shows up in them, then at least we'll know what we're dealing with and be able to treat it. Can you tell me, the last time either of you saw Ms Lane, did she seem alright, or was she not quite herself. What I mean is, was she unusually tired, or feeling aches and pains, had she hit her head recently, anything?" Dr Taylor questioned.

"I haven't seen Lois for several days, the last time I saw her she did look a bit tired but nothing unusual, and she is doing two jobs at the moment, but otherwise…. otherwise, she seemed just fine and she hasn't said anything about bumping her head" Shrugged Clark.

Martha tried to think back, she had seen Lois only two days before, and the young woman had seemed fine to her as well. She didn't look sick or run down, and she still had the same energy and drive that was signature Lois. "No, I can't think of anything either, as my son said Lois was fine. I saw her the day before yesterday and she seemed the same as usual."

"Ok, well for now, we'll wait on the test results, but I do want to stress that because this has happened before, and even though none of the same symptoms appear to be showing, it doesn't mean that the two aren't related. We're going to keep an eye on this and I have to inform the Board of Health, but it will be kept under wraps, we don't want to start a panic, especially as no other cases have been reported. I'm sorry, I can't give you any more news for now, but as soon as I know anything, I'll come and speak with you." Dr Taylor gave them a professionally sympathetic smile and went on his way.

Clark turned to his mom "So what should I do, should I go and talk to Lex or wait for news?"

"Let's wait, at least until Chloe gets here, she should be arriving soon and we'll see what she thinks. This will hit her the hardest, she and Lois are like sisters and whatever is decided, I think she deserves to be a part of decision" Martha replied.

***

Chloe raced into the Smallville Medical Centre, she found Clark waiting outside one of the rooms and peering in the window saw his mom sitting in a chair beside Lois' bed, holding her hand

"Clark, what's the news, what did the doctors say, why didn't you call me?" She fired.

"Chloe the doctor just finished with Lois' not 30 minutes ago, I was going to call you but knew you'd be here soon, and just didn't see the point in worrying you, especially while you were driving, for no good reason" he replied.

"Ok, I still wish you would have called me, but …..look lets just go into her room, and you can tell me what the doctors found, or said, everything" and so saying she grabbed his hand and walked into Lois' room.

She walked over to the bed, picked up Lois' free hand and just looked her cousin over. Lois _seemed_ perfectly fine, well as fine as someone could be when unconscious and hooked up to a number of machines "What did the doctors say?" She asked glancing over at Clark and Martha Kent.

Martha explained what the doctor had said the first time he had come to talk to them and when he returned with the test results. There were no traces of drugs, or alcohol in her system that could have caused it and the CAT scans had come back clear, so far they were all at a loss. The good news was that no other cases had been brought in, but until the doctors could find something or Lois woke up, there was little anyone could do.

Clark turned to Chloe and posed to her the question that had been burning in his mind from the moment he first found Lois, "Chloe, I was thinking about going to see Lex, if he is behind this, then he may be unaware that something's gone wrong, what do you think?"

"I think going to Lex and asking him if he's doing experiments again is a good idea. If something has gone wrong and he's unaware of it, then at least this will give him a heads up. The doctor said Lois isn't showing any of the same signs as the last time but he also said, that that didn't mean the two were un-related." She paused and thought quietly for a moment 'Clark you run fast, I mean really fast right?" Chloe questioned.

"Yes."

"Ok, when you run really fast, even though people can't see you because you're too quick for the eye to see, can you see what's going on around you, or is everything just a blur?"

Clark thought about it for a moment "It depends on how fast I'm going, but I can still slow down a little bit and no one would see me, they'd just see a blur, like a car that had gone by too swiftly, but I could still see everything."

"Well, do you think you could do what you just said, run around town and the out lying farms, and see if anyone else is in the same condition as Lois. I mean I know the last time not everyone was infected at the same time, but it did snow ball very fast once it started, so I imagine, if it was the same thing or something similar, there should be other cases right now" Chloe concluded.

Martha who had been listening to the exchange agreed. It seemed a good way to determine if there others who might need help and it could dispel some of their fears.

Clark agreed and quickly left, he zipped between businesses and houses, schools and farms and found nothing that was unusual or that caused him to become alarmed, when he got back to the Medical Centre he reported his findings to Chloe and his mom.

"Ok, well then, I think you should go and see Lex. He may not be responsible, he may not know anything about it, but it couldn't hurt to find out right?" Chloe asked.

"Yeah, and I'd be able to tell if he was lying, or trying to cover up by listening to his heart beat or if his pulse starts spiking" Clark offered.

"I'll come with you and ….." Chloe started to suggest.

"No Chlo, let me go alone, if Lex says anything about Lois, you'll just get worked up and that won't help, because then we'd never get anything out of him and my attention will be divided between trying to keep you calm and listening in on him" Clark said quietly.

"I wouldn't get worked up, I'll stay rational and …." Chloe denied

"Clark's right dear, please stay here with me, besides if Lois wakes up while he's gone, I think she'd really like to see her favourite cousin before anyone else" Martha gently interrupted.

Chloe agreed, she wasn't happy about it, but she did see the wisdom in the argument and besides she wanted to stay with Lois, she wanted to be there in case she woke up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

After Clark left, the room was silent except for the machines that were hooked up to Lois. Chloe and Martha sat either side of the bed, each held Lois' hand and hoped that she would wake up without suffering any side affects to her health.

Each lady was quietly thinking about Lois, how much she meant to them and the way she had been there for each them when they had needed her most.

_Chloe – 2007_

Chloe Sullivan loved her cousin Lois, more than she loved anyone, except for her father. Lois and she had always been close, closer than friends, more like sisters. Lois had always looked out for her, she was fiercely protective of her younger cousin, and tried to soothe her anytime she suffered an upset or hurt. No matter how busy she was or how inconvenient the timing, Chloe knew that if she called for Lois, Lois would be there for her.

For years she had talked her cousins ear off about her love for Clark Kent. She would phone and cry on Lois' shoulder anytime Clark inadvertently hurt her or had been dismissive of her feelings for him. She sobbed to Lois when Clark repeatedly put Lana Lang before herself. She, Chloe was supposed to be his best friend, but more often than not, she was relegated to third wheel or nuisance whenever Lana was around.

At least when Pete still lived in Smallville, it was the three of them together, Clark, Pete and her, they did most everything together and Pete was always there to listen and give her a sympathetic audience when she needed to vent on the occasions that Clark had been particularly thoughtless. Pete had stuck up for her and had told Clark off on both her and his own behalf, and she had needed someone in her corner, when Clark was too busy putting Lana and his friendship with Lex first, to realise that he had hurt or neglected them.

After Pete moved to Wichita, she had had to deal with Clark on her own. On occasion he had still hurt her and been oblivious to it and when she tried to call him on it, was often made to feel like she was the one in the wrong but for all of that, she knew Clark did care for her, he did look out for her, she was his friend, and so she had clung to their friendship, and her love for him, never giving up hope that one day he would finally see her. Lana may have had his devotion, she may have had his love, but she, Chloe was still his best friend.

She tried to accept that Clark didn't return her romantic feelings, even though she had attempted over and over again to make him to see that they could good together, and that she wouldn't treat him as callously as Lana did, but her efforts were in vain, he only had eyes for Lana and when she was around, Clark was usually deaf to her.

Chloe told Lois everything, there was nothing that they didn't share and on hearing the pain in her cousins voice, Lois had tried to convince Chloe to cut Clark Kent off, drop him, find new friends. He may SAY he was her friend but his attitude showed otherwise.

Chloe refuted that, Clark WAS her friend, yes she was hurt, yes she was upset, but Clark was a good guy, he didn't mean to hurt her feelings, he couldn't help loving Lana, just as she couldn't help loving him.

When Lois came to Smallville to dig into the mystery of her 'death', and she and Clark found her very much alive, the two cousins were over joyed to see each other, but Chloe couldn't understand why two people, both whom she loved, didn't like each other, or more accurately they hated each other.

When questioned, Lois roundly informed her that she couldn't stand Clark Kent. Lois loved Chloe, she was defensive of Chloe and she didn't appreciate some 'hay-seed farm-boy' being so callous with her baby cousins affections, not only that, she resented that he would prefer someone else over her cousin. What kind of idiot was this guy and what on earth was so great about him, that he had Chloe, and a number of other girls so ga ga over him. Clark had little value in Lois' eyes.

Likewise Clark had told Chloe that he didn't like her cousin. She was rude, bossy, pushy, sarcastic and she never shut up. Lois gave him a headache. He couldn't see any family resemblance, Lois was nothing like Chloe. Oh he'd put up with her for Chloe's sake but he wasn't just going to take her uncouth and offensive behaviour lying down, if she started, he would give back as good as he got.

Chloe found the situation funny. Lois didn't care if people liked her or not, she was comfortable in her own skin, she didn't set out to impress and if someone didn't like her, then tough. Clark on the other hand, was used to people liking him, he was used to girls finding him attractive and striving for his attention, even Lana, when she was around Clark wanted his attention focused on her. So for the first time, here was a girl, who quite frankly didn't care if Clark noticed her not, she ignored and irritated him, she punched him, she laughed at and taunted him and she wasn't playing coy games to get his notice, she truly wasn't interested in him. Chloe couldn't help but think, although Clark would NEVER admit it, that even though he loved Lana; Lois' indifference pricked his ego.

But for all of their heated arguments, bickering and 'supposed' hatred of the other, Chloe also noticed that when they were together, they both smiled a lot, even if it was just a smirk, a quirk of the lips or hidden laughter in their eyes when they had gotten one up on the other. They had chemistry, it was there and it showed and she wasn't the only person to have noticed it, when Lois and Clark were in a room together, unintentionally they took centre stage, and all eyes would be on them.

Chloe couldn't help but feel jealous, Lana had Clark's love, and she, Chloe was his best friend but for all Lois and Clark's dislike of each other, they shared a connection that no one else could touch. They weren't aware of it and they wouldn't want it had they know about it, but it was there and everyone could see it.

Chloe had always felt there was more to Clark Kent than met the eye, but it wasn't until Alicia Baker exposed Clark using his powers, that she realised that his 'secret' was a lot bigger than she thought.

When she asked Lois' advice on confronting someone with their secrets, Lois had asked her a very simple question. "Is this secret hurting anyone?" Chloe had had to admit it wasn't, so Lois had told her no. Her cousin had counselled her to just be there, to be a friend and to be supportive and if the person wanted to open up, then it was their decision, it wasn't something that should be forced upon them.

So she took Lois' advice to heart and stayed quiet, she had broadly hinted to Clark every now and again that she knew he was special, but she had never out right told him that she knew he was meteor enhanced.

When Clark could hide no longer and was finally forced into confession, he told her everything. He wasn't meteor power enhanced; he was the cause of the meteor shower. He was in fact an 'alien' She could honestly say that she was shocked. But it didn't change anything for her, as far as she was concerned, he was even more exceptional. Whenever Clark turned to her for help or advice she was pleased to give it. This was something that neither Lana nor Lois knew about, this was something that Clark had only shared with her and she hugged that knowledge to herself.

As much as she loved her cousin, she wished Lois would stop being so aimless and rootless. Chloe loved journalism, the search for answers and uncovering the truth, it was a passion that she wished all of her friends to share. So whenever she got the chance, she nudged, or pushed and sometimes conned them into helping her with her work, in the hopes they would also catch the journalism bug.

Neither Clark nor Lois was particularly receptive but Chloe didn't give up, she wanted them all to work together in the same field, she enjoyed sharing her knowledge and skills and wished that someday they would also get the calling.

When she found out about Clark, his powers and later his alien heritage, she did everything she could to cover it up, to hide and to distract anyone from knowing about it. She was very protective of him, not only because of her feelings, but because she genuinely liked Clark and she knew he only used his powers to help, not to hurt.

So when Lois got a job at the Inquisitor writing about aliens, big foot, the Loch Ness monster and other ridiculous tales, she steered Lois as far away from aliens and the like to protect Clark as much as possible. Although the job wasn't a very prestigious one, and although Lois was only working at a supermarket rag, not the Daily Planet, Chloe couldn't help be feel resentful.

It was stupid, she knew it was. Hadn't she encouraged Lois to pursue journalism, hadn't she pushed and prodded. Chloe knew she had, she knew her jealousy wasn't rational but she still resented the fact that no matter what Lois did, she did it well.

Lois never did anything half way, when Mr Kent had made her his campaign manager, she had led him to victory and he'd won the senate seat. Chloe had privately thought that Mr Kent was crazy, she loved her cousin, she really and truly did, but Lois was a college drop out. Lois had been kicked out of college twice and was now working as a waitress at the local coffee shop. What did Lois know about politics and putting a campaign together, but Lois proved her wrong. She had proved everyone wrong who had thought that Jonathan Kent would never beat Lex Luthor. Lex could afford professional advice, the best campaign promotions and he had unlimited funds but Lex had lost. Jonathan Kent had won and although he had won because people liked him, because they knew that he was honest, reliable, and dependable and that he was one of them, it also had to be said, that he had won in large part to Lois' campaign strategy. She refused to promote Mr Kent as something he wasn't, she refused to compromise his integrity, she admired and respected Mr Kent and she honestly believed that he would be the perfect senator for Kansas. So she worked tirelessly and had proven that Mr Kent's faith in her was justified. Chloe knew that even if Mr Kent lost, he would have been proud and grateful to Lois, because she had put herself out there and given one hundred percent of herself to his campaign.

After Mr Kent passed away and Mrs Kent had taken over his senate seat, she had made Lois her right hand woman and once again Lois had risen to the challenge and had given herself, her time and her tenacity to help Martha Kent. There was nothing Lois wouldn't do for the people she loved. When she had first come to Smallville, those people had been the members of her family only. Chloe, her father Gabe, Lois' own dad, and her sister Lucy. She might fight with her family, and they disagreed constantly, but if anyone tried to hurt them, Lois wouldn't stand for it. She would be there, in the persons face and make them sorry they had ever tried to harm anyone she loved. Lois had a great capacity to love. She guarded her heart jealously, but once she loved, she loved true and she displayed an almost fanatical loyalty to those privileged select few.

Chloe's mind wouldn't shut down, she couldn't stop berating herself, she just wanted Lois to wake up, she wanted everything to be ok.

Chloe knew she hadn't been as supportive of Lois' career as she should have been, but it was a prick to the ego, that what she had been working and studying her whole life for, her cousin had just walked into.

If it had been her, Lois would have been happy and proud to know that her little cousin was getting somewhere in her chosen field, even if it was just at a 'supermarket rag' and not The Daily Planet. Lois wasn't trying to steal anything from her, she wasn't trying to take away Chloe's accomplishments, why had she been so jealous, Lois would never do anything to deliberately hurt her ……and didn't that all seem so petty now. If Lois didn't wake up or get better, Chloe knew she'd that she'd regret both her attitude and her behaviour towards Lois until the day she died.

She was scared, she couldn't bear to lose her cousin, what if Lois never came out of this, what if her heart or brain was damaged. Why hadn't she called Clark to check on Lois earlier. Why hadn't she left work earlier or stayed with Lois in their apartment the night before, why hadn't she been there for Lois, after all the times that Lois had been there for her?

***

_Martha – 2007_

Martha Kent was worried. There was no reason for this to be happening, Lois was a healthy young woman, she was vibrant and passionate and seeing her lying so still in the hospital bed, just seemed so …..wrong. Lois wasn't in a coma, the doctors couldn't find any medical reason for her condition, Clark had found no one else in the same state when he had looked through the town, none of it made any sense.

Martha couldn't help but remember the last frightening episode, when people had been stricken all over Smallville falling asleep and in some cases being literally 'scared to death'. But the doctors had assured them that Lois wasn't suffering from the same affliction and although they weren't ruling it out, Martha clung to the fact that Lois' adrenalin and heart were behaving normally and that no further cases had been reported or admitted.

Thinking back it didn't seem possible that Lois had only come into their lives two years previously. She had become such a mainstay to the Kent family that it was hard to remember a time when she wasn't around.

Not long after Lois had first come to Smallville, she had started living at the farm. How that had happened was still up for debate. Lois insisting that Clark had invited her and Clark refuting her claim, saying that she had conned her way in, but neither of the elder Kent's had had the willpower to say otherwise.

Lois had been a breath of fresh air, and both she and Jonathan had come to like Lois very quickly. She fought with Clark, she pushed him around, she didn't put up with his moods or brooding sessions, as she put it, and even though Clark said he couldn't stand her, she had been good for him.

For too long, Clark had been alone, he had had his friends but he always felt separate from his peers. He still did to a large extent, but Martha and Jonathan noted that with Lois around, he sometimes seemed a bit lighter. She had certainly gotten him to smile and relax more.

And unlike the other girls in the town, she didn't fawn over him, she gave him a hard time, and most of all she didn't keep trying to pry or bully or guilt him into giving up his secrets. She seemed unaware that he even had them, so in that, Clark knew he didn't have to worry that she would try to put him on the spot. He only had to be defensive when she tried to take advantage of his good nature. And she certainly tried, never for any harmful reason, usually in an irritating sibling type of way. She took over his bedroom, she barged in on him when he wanted privacy and she pushed him to not take everything so seriously. She had been very good for him and both the elder Kent's could clearly see that.

Lois was unapologetic in making herself at home, she didn't stand on ceremony, and before the Kent family knew what had hit them, Lois had made herself quite comfortable at the farm. So comfortable in fact, she had also brought Shelby into the family, of course she had hit him with her car, and couldn't just abandon him, but despite the fact that she herself was a guest, it didn't stop her from throwing open the doors and inviting others in, including her sister Lucy. Although admittedly with her sister she had had a sheepish expression on her face and for the first time since she had arrived at the farm, she had pitched in and cooked and tried to be helpful. Clark had called her on it, he knew she had wanted something, and just as she had geared up to confess that her sister needed a place to stay for a few days, Lucy had arrived and poor Lois was caught with egg all over her face.

Martha wanted to laugh, Lois was so good for all of them. The Kent's were a happy family in the norm, but there were times when Clark was very down about his origins and his powers which separated him from his peers and his parents had hurt for him. They loved their son, they wanted him to be happy and when he wasn't, they weren't. So when Lois strolled in and took over, she was like a light breeze on a cloudy day. Well Clark would say she like was a hurricane, and he would be partly right, but aside from finding Clark, which was one of the happiest days of their lives after finding each other, Jonathan and Martha, both felt that Lois really was the next best thing.

Lois, Martha found was extremely loyal and loving. She gave Clark a hard time, he gave it back, but it was clear to see that the two of them cared each about each other, despite any protests either of them could make.

When the second meteor shower had hit Smallville, Lois was supposed to be on a plane to track down her wayward younger sister but instead, she had stayed and helped Jonathan find her, Martha, in the rubble their house had been reduced to, and had then put her own life on the line when one of the Kryptonians had almost chocked Jonathan to death in the Medical Centre, she had confronted the woman and demanded that she let Jonathan go.

She must have been scared, if this woman could lift a grown man of his feet and choke him, then she would most definitely have been more than a match for Lois, but she had refused to be cowed and still insisted the woman let Jonathan go.

Martha had been so proud when Jonathan had told her what had happened, here was a young woman, who could have turned her back and walked away, her father had been expecting her to find her sister, but Lois had refused to go and she further refused to be intimidated by 'Barbie the Barbarian' as she called her, when she had tried to kill Jonathan.

Only after all the drama of the meteor shower was over and only after Lois had ensured that all three Kent members were ok, did she leave to find her sister. When Lois came back several months later and she had seen her at the Talon, she had automatically invited Lois to stay at the farm once again. There was no where else that she wanted Lois to stay. As far as she and Jonathan were concerned, Lois would always be welcome to stay at the Kent farm.

Clark had not been so happy. He had lost his bedroom once again, Lois was taking over once again, he and Lois still got on each other's nerves and still took pot shots at each other, but this time it was different, they had become friends despite everything. He had certainly been surprised and Martha thought disappointed, though he tried not to show it, when Lois had moved out of the house and into the apartment over the Talon.

When Jonathan ran for the Senate and made Lois his campaign manager, it was clear that she was determined to do everything to guarantee his victory. Not because it was her job, but because she believed in him, she believed he was the best man for the job. She clearly admired Jonathan Kent and ensured that whatever promotion was run on his behalf, wasn't just a campaign slogan to win votes, it came from her heart. Jonathan Kent was an honest, reliable, man of integrity, Lois saw that and that was what she promoted.

When he passed away, Lois had been shocked and clearly distressed. She had come to love him, to love all the Kent's and she hurt, not only for the man she was going to miss, a man who had allowed a stranger to walk into his home and make herself comfortable, but also a man who had given her a job of great responsibility, not because he felt sorry for her, but because he had faith in her, at a time when she had very little faith in herself.

Lois had also felt Jonathan's passing keenly on her and Clark's behalf. She had wanted to help them in any way she could, even if that just meant giving Clark pep talks when he was down about missing his father or his faltering relationship with Lana.

When she had taken over her husband's Senate seat, it hadn't taken her long to appoint Lois as her Chief of Staff and she had never regretted her decision. As Martha pointed out, she had laboured on Jonathan's campaign tirelessly and she knew that Lois would give the same dedication, tenacity and loyalty to herself.

Lois had once told Martha and Jonathan that they were the parents she had always wanted and Martha could say with confidence, that Lois was the daughter they would have loved to have had.

Lois had been a rock to Martha, both personally and professionally, she was always so alive and animated, bursting with energy, she clearly enjoyed life and Martha hated to see her lying so still, it was all just all so wrong.

***

_Clark – 2007_

Clark Kent waited in the study of the Luthor Mansion for Lex Luthor to deign to see him. He had been left there by one of the maids and told to make himself comfortable. Comfortable, what a joke, this was the last place he wanted to be. He knew it was necessary, Lois' life and maybe hundreds of others could be on the line, he needed to talk to Lex, he needed to find out if Lex had been up to his old tricks and experiments again, but he hated being here.

He did not want to see Lex and Lana, he did not want to see the engaged couple together. It was too painful, but what hurt more than anything, was the knowledge that Lana would never have been with Lex, if he hadn't driven her away first.

Clark couldn't believe how far apart he had Lana had become. For most of his life he had yearned for Lana Lang, he had watched her, protected her, befriended and loved her. And only a few short months ago, the accumulation of all his dreams had come true.

For years he had had to stand back and watch Lana date a number of different boys. Every now and again, he and Lana would become close and just as she seemed to be turning to him romantically, something would go wrong. He'd have to ditch her when they made dates, because someone was in trouble and he had to help them, or he'd be infected with red meteorite, which brought out his hated Kryptonian side, and then he'd behave callously and indifferently to her, he would ridicule and mock her, so that when he was back to being himself, Lana wanted nothing to do with him. She'd been hurt physically by his powers, and turned away from him, or he had turned away from her to protect her.

But after many false stops and starts, they were finally together. When the second meteor shower hit Smallville, Lana told him she loved him. He couldn't describe how happy he was. He'd loved her for so long, he loved her so much, and she finally loved him back. She was so wonderful, so brave for putting her love out there. He had never told Lana that he loved her before, oh, she must have known it, he didn't exactly hide how he felt, but with all the craziness that surrounded his life, their tentative relationship was always getting messed up and he had never said the actual words to her. He had told his friends and his parents, he had hinted at his feelings to Lana herself, and she knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, but he had never come out and told her.

To Clark, Lana was the moon and the stars. She may have told him she loved him because of the meteor shower, thinking one or both of them might be killed and this would be her only chance, but she had still done it and he was thrilled. He had finally been able to give voice of his love to her.

She had given him the stone he had been looking for, admittedly before the meteor shower he hadn't been looking very hard, after all just because Jor-El told him to do something, didn't mean he was going to do it, but Lana had had the stone, and even though she didn't know or understand it's significance, she had known it was important and gave it to him.

After the fright of meteor shower was over, after everything was settled down, he and Lana were together, she was his girlfriend. He couldn't believe that after years of dreaming, he could finally say Lana Lang was his girlfriend. He was in seventh heaven, they had been so happy together, he no longer had his powers, Jor-El had taken them from him as punishment and he was glad. He no longer had to hide from Lana, keep secrets or lie to her. They could be together and as he was now a regular 'mortal', they could be together in every way.

Lana was the first and only girl he had ever loved, and he knew she always wouldbe. They belonged together, they were destined to be together, nothing could keep them apart, at least not in the long term.

He had always known, if he just waited, if he gave Lana the time and space she needed, she would be his and he had been right.

After he'd died from the gunshot wound, and Jor-El had brought him back to life and restored his powers, he had been angry and confused and when Jor-El told him that someone else would die so that he could live, he had been afraid. He had never wanted that, he had never agreed to that, he wanted to be mortal, yes, but not at the cost of someone else's life. He had asked Jor-El to take his life, but Jor-El refused.

It was from that point that their problems began, that was when the first cracks in their relationship had shown, he was back to lying to her, being evasive, offering half truths and hiding. Lana had known he was lying to her, she had known he was keeping something from her and she demanded to know what it was. She wanted the truth, she was sick of lies and deceptions. But he was afraid, if he told her that he was an 'alien' would she reject him, would she hate him because although he was only a baby himself, his arrival had caused her parents deaths. He knew that she still missed her parents, it was a loss that she had never got over, never recovered from and because he desperately wanted to hold onto Lana, he just couldn't make himself confess all to her.

When she started pulling away from him, and began looking for answers on her own, he became truly frightened. He would surely loose her, and she would hate him all the more for not telling her, himself. So he decided to divulge everything. He took her to his fortress and came clean, then he had asked her to marry him. She gave him her answer a few short hours later, she loved him and she would be happy to be his wife.

He was the happiest he could ever remember, his life was utter bliss, he couldn't recall ever feeling so care-free, she knew everything and she loved him, she was his.

Then despair had hit him when she was killed a few hours later. He had gone to Jor-El and demanded that Lana be returned to him. Jor-El had told him that was impossible, then reluctantly confessed that he could use a crystal and re-write the day, everything would start again. Lana would once again be alive, but the universe would still demand a balance and someone else's life would be taken in exchange. Jor-El had told him that the crystal could only be used once, and urged Clark to think carefully of the step he was about to take. But Lana was his world, so he accepted, he had to have Lana back, she was all that mattered.

So he had used the crystal, and had re-written the day, this time he didn't tell Lana anything, this time he didn't propose. He had tried to hold onto Lana like a greedy child and it had ended in tragedy. This time, he would keep an eye on Lana, and ensure that she was safe, he would protect her, and not allow death to get its claws on her.

He had been so fixated on Lana, that he had all but forgotten there were other people that he loved, that were important to him, that could be taken from him. They weren't like him, they were fragile, they could be hurt, and foolishly he had forgotten that.

He had managed to save Lois from being electrocuted, why she would have been in danger made no sense, but he had saved her and was glad, he'd managed to save Lana a second time and thought that his troubles were now over. Then he had gone home, back to the farm with his mom, in time to find his dad staggering out of the barn, they had held him, and then he had died in their arms and now he had the guilt of his father's death on his conscience.

He had told his mom what he had done and she had been so understanding; more than he deserved. She didn't blame him, berate him, yell at or accuse him. He thought as much as it would hurt, that that would be easier to live with. He was angry and hurting and for the first time, Lana's presence brought him no joy. He didn't blame her, he blamed himself and despite what his mom had said, he knew he was at fault.

He had finally found a measure of peace with his father's passing, but he still missed him. He missed spending time with his dad, he missed their father son bonding times, he missed his presence. Jonathan Kent had been such a guiding light to him, he'd always been there for him. He still had his mother and to him she was the most wonderful woman he knew, but he also wanted his father back.

It may have been his choice to use the crystal but he was still angry at Jor-El.

From the time he was a child, he had known he was different to everyone else, he had powers that he hated, that kept him separate from his peers, he didn't want them and he didn't want the responsibility of them. When his dad told him that he and his mom had found him after the meteor shower and that he wasn't from earth he didn't believe. Then his dad had shown him his spaceship and he was angry and frightened. Before, all he had to hide was his powers, now he had to hide who he was, he was an alien and he hated it.

He had only ever wanted two things in his life. He wanted to be the same as everyone else and he wanted Lana Lang. From the moment he read Jor-El's message in his space ship, he hated being Kryptonian, he didn't want to rule, he didn't want to use his powers to cower humanity to his will, he just wanted to marry Lana, have a family and be happy.

Everything bad that had happened in his life, had happened as a consequence of his 'alien-ness'. It was Jor-Els' fault, Jor-El was constantly trying to run his life, tell him what to do, well Jor-El may have been his birth father, but as far as he was concerned, Jonathan Kent was the only father he wanted.

Jor-El had caused the second meteor shower, Jor-El had caused his father's heart attack, Jor-El had taken his powers then restored them in exchange for someone else's life, he hated Jor-El…. and he feared him.

He had lost his father and now he was losing Lana too, it seemed like everything bad was coming to a head.

He finally broke up with Lana after hurting her so shamefully. He hated hurting Lana but knew that if they stayed together, it would happen again and again, so he decided for her own good, he would let her go and hopefully she would eventually find happiness.

He hadn't counted on Lex taking advantage of Lana when she was at her most vulnerable. He didn't trust Lex, he hadn't for a long time, but what he didn't expect was for Lex to exploit Lana's pain when she was still reeling from his rejection. He should have, Luthors were known for closing in on the kill when the time was right, but when he had found out about Lex and Lana's relationship, he had been completely blindsided.

Chloe hadn't wanted to tell him, she hadn't wanted to hurt him and as she pointed out, he had broken up with Lana, so she was free to see whoever she wanted but he was particularly afraid for Lana being in Lex's control. Lex could hurt her in ways he didn't even want to think about, but when he had tried to talk to her, she had told him her relationship with Lex was none of his business.

He hated Lex with almost the same intensity that he hated Jor-El. How had he and Lex ever been friends? He had stolen Lana away. Oh, he may not have broken them up, but he had certainly swooped in as soon as Lana was free.

He had taken advantage of Lana's vulnerability, her naiveté, he had either told Lana a pack of lies, or lies mixed in with truth, just enough to sucker her in, while she was still feeling lost from her break up with him.

Lana was always questioning, probing for the truth and when he wouldn't give it to her, she had gone to Lex and with sweet lies, he had won her over.

He was fully convinced that Lex had wanted Lana almost from the first moment that he knew he, Clark did. He did not, would not believe Lex wanted Lana because he loved her, Lex was incapable of love, Lex was a power hungry bastard and despite all Lex had, he was still deeply jealous of him. Anything he had, Lex coveted and as Lana's love was the most precious thing that he had had, Lex had to have it too. Lex wouldn't be considerate of her, he wouldn't care about her feelings, he would despoil her, Lana would just be a pretty doll, an accessory to grace Lex's table and to warm his bed.

His mom, Chloe, even Lois had tried to help him over his dejection of Lex and Lana's relationship but he didn't want to know, he loved Lana, he would never get over her and it seemed that no one understood that.

Lois had tried to counsel him and he felt that sometimes, she did understand him better than anyone, but Lois didn't talk about her personal life, so he supposed she had never loved anyone the way he loved Lana, and as much as he had appreciated her advice, it really didn't help.

Lois had started out being such a pain, someone he couldn't stand, he fought with her and argued with her, but they did have one connection Chloe. She was his best friend, he loved her, not in the romantic way she had cared for him, but he did love her. He would do anything to save Chloe, to help her and for her to be happy. He was sorry that he couldn't return her feelings and he knew this had hurt her deeply, but his heart had already been taken, even when he wasn't with Lana, he was spoken for.

Chloe loved Lois, and in spite of their rocky beginning, he had come to like her too. He and Lois had butted heads almost from the moment they met, he hadn't quite been himself, he had been Kal-El when he met Lois and she had annoyed him even then.

When he had been restored to himself, he found her just as annoying as when he was Kal-El, then she had been a barrier in the way of his finding the sign he was looking for, now she was just a pain in the neck.

Lois pushed him around, she laughed at him, made fun of his clothes, teased him and he wasn't used to it. Most girls liked him, he got along with most everyone, but of course Lois just had to be contrary. She was so different to anyone he had ever known, she knew no shame, little embarrassed her, she was the uninvited guest who invited herself then made herself at home. She had taken over his room and made it all girly, which was odd, because Lois wasn't very girly at all.

But despite their rocky start, he and Lois had become friends, and even when they didn't like each other, they had still put their lives on the line trying to save each other. Of course, more often than not, he had gone to save her from whatever reckless action had put her in danger in the first place, and she either ended up having to save him or was in the midst of saving herself by the time he realised she was in danger.

Lois didn't sit around waiting to be saved, she was a person of action and he really wasn't used to it. Usually when he saved someone, they were either unconscious or cowering in fear and were grateful for his help but not Lois, she usually expected HIM to thank her and then wondered how he'd ever survived without her. But the few times when she really had been desperate for help, and he had saved her, she had thanked him sincerely.

They still got on each other's nerves, they still teased and argued, but they both knew they could count on each other when needed. He had come to like Lois, he was protective of her, and cared about her, she wouldn't be the first person whose company he'd seek out, but he knew if anything were to happen to her, he would miss her.

And right now, Lois was at Smallville Medical Centre and needed help and he could only hope that Lex would have the answers.

If Lex tried to hide anything, he would know, he would watch and listen very carefully, because Lex was his last hope.

They were all worried about Lois and had tried to think of what could be wrong with her, the doctors didn't know, no one else in town seemed to be affected and so their last resort was for him to talk to Lex.

He would be patient, he would stay calm and not allow Lex to goad him into a fight about Lana. He was here for Lois, she was what was important right now. He would question Lex, he would do it for Lois and for all the people who cared about her.

***

At the sound of the door opening, Clark swung around and found himself facing Lex and Lana holding hands. He knew they were engaged, and found their show of solidarity unnecessary.

Could Lex not see visitors without Lana at his side, or did the two of them feel that he needed to see them together, to remind him that she was now with Lex. He somehow felt the later was the reason.

He could see the dismissive look in Lex's eyes and he could tell that Lana wasn't pleased to see him there, but if she really didn't want to see him, then why come into the room. They would have known who was waiting, the maid would have told them, and even if the maid had only told Lex, Clark firmly believed that Lex would have told Lana.

Well he didn't want to be here, any more than they wanted him in the house, so he resolved to get the meeting over with as soon as possible.

He wasn't offered a seat and didn't want one; he wasn't interested in making himself comfortable.

"Well Clark this is a surprise, what brings you here, collecting for the local widows and orphans?" Lex asked as he strolled over to pour himself a drink. He raised the bottle to Lana, a silent question to ask if she would like one too, but she just shook her head in the negative.

Lana leant back against the desk and with drink in hand Lex strolled over and joined her.

"Look Lois is in the hospital, she's unconscious but not in a coma and the doctors can't find anything wrong with her, no one else has been affected, but after the last time, I came here to ask if you were conducting any kind of experiments again that could have caused this?" He saw no point in wasting time on pleasantries, he wanted answers then he wanted to get out.

"How is Lois?" Lana asked stepping forward to lightly touch Clark on the arm. He knew she and Lois were friends, not best friends but they did get along and had spent time together, so wasn't surprised by the question.

"She seems fine, the doctor said she wasn't in any distress but she won't wake up and they know it's not drugs or alcohol related but they can't explain it, that's why I need to know Lex, could you be responsible?" Clark swung to face Lana then turned back to Lex waiting for his answer.

Lex sipped his drink then looked Clark directly in the eye "No Clark, I have no project or experiment going on that would have caused this. After the last time, I wasn't prepared to try again." Lex's heart rate and pulse didn't so much as twitch. He had been listening from the moment he had come into the room and couldn't detect any change at all.

Lana's had. When she had first come in, her heart was beating fast, and she was taking shallow breaths, but once he had started speaking and she realised he was here, not to see them for any personal reasons but in regards to Lois, he noticed that had changed and both her heart and breathing were now normal.

"Look you don't have to believe me, but I am telling the truth, admittedly Lois isn't one of my favourite people, but if I did know of anything that was causing this, I'd tell you." Lex said in response to the clear scepticism showing in Clark's expression.

"You'd tell me, even if it meant you could have caused another disaster, somehow I doubt that Lex." Even though Clark couldn't detect any tell-tale signs that Lex was lying, he didn't trust him and couldn't stop himself from goading, It felt satisfying, letting both of them know what he thought of Lex, hoping to push him into revealing himself in some slight way to Lana.

"If you don't believe me Clark, why did you just waste my time?" Lex asked calmly.

"I just wanted to know." He knew his response was weak, he had hoped to get a rise out of Lex, no matter how small, and instead Lex had just made him look foolish

"Well now you know, but you don't believe me, so I don't see that you've gained anything," Lex stated.

Lex was clearly winning this round, hadn't he promised himself he wouldn't try to get into it with Lex, Lois didn't have time for this, he had to stop.

Lana seeing that the two men were in a no win argument, decided to try and smooth over the situation "Lex is telling the truth Clark."

"Don't fool yourself Lana, you always accused me of hiding things from you, then you turn right around and trust the one person who has even more secrets than I do." He didn't want to start another argument, Lois may not have time, but he just couldn't take Lana's defending Lex, he couldn't just let the comment go. Lex tell the truth, Lex never told the truth unless it suited him.

"Clark, Lex doesn't lie or hide anything from me and I'm not going to get into that conversation with you again, because our relationship is none of your business. But he is telling the truth about this. The last time this happened, Lex tried to stop it, and there was more than one person affected. You said yourself that Lois isn't showing the same symptoms as before, so please stop accusing Lex of anything, when you clearly have no proof." Lana was fed up with Clark's constant harping of Lex, she knew Lex was no innocent, but she also knew he was honest with her and she was tired of Clark always taking digs at Lex, especially when he was no better with all his own secrets and lies.

Clark turned away; he wanted so badly to believe both of them, but for vastly different reasons. Despite his distrust of Lex, he didn't want to believe that Lex could be so callous with people's lives and once again carry out experiments that could cause the same terror that had happened previously.

And he needed to believe Lana, believe IN Lana. He just couldn't, wouldn't accept that she might know that Lex was responsible and keep quiet about it.

He wouldn't believe that she could be like that, not Lana, he'd known and loved her for too long. He knew what she was like and he knew that despite their differences, she wouldn't be a party to anything illegal or dangerous that Lex would be involved in.

His thoughts brought him full circle and the only conclusion he could come to was that Lex must be telling the truth, so if Lex wasn't responsible, they had nothing, no answers, and his coming to the mansion had only been a painful reminder of all he'd lost and his search for answers fruitless.

***

Clark sped back to the hospital and found his mom and Chloe sitting quietly with Lois. At his entrance, both ladies looked up but he could only shake his head in the negative. He gave them the highlights of the short conversation he had had with Lex, and reiterated that he believed Lex wasn't responsible, that he didn't know anything about it, or what could have caused it, he had paid particular attention to both his heart rate and pulse, Lex wasn't lying.

The three were out of answers, the only thing they could do now, was wait and hope that either the doctors found something or Lois woke up.

After talking about it they decided a system would have to be arranged so that one of them was with Lois at all times. They didn't want her to wake up and be afraid, and in case the doctors did find what was wrong, there would always be someone on hand.

After little argument, it was decided that Chloe would take first watch, she urged both Kent's to go home, and promised to call as soon as Lois opened her eyes, but for now she wanted to stay, she needed to be there, Lois could wake up at any time and if she did, then Chloe wanted to be there for it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_2015_

"_So have you come up with anything, or is this just one of those Smallville freak occurrences again?" Lois asked._

_No one had heard her come down the stairs, they were too busy lost in thought of where to start to looking for answers, while the memory of that time eight years previously played in their heads._

The three people in the room turned to face Lois, they could see that she had calmed down some from earlier, the shock was gone from her face, and she seemed to be getting her bearings.

"Come sit down dear" Martha said smiling, encouraging Lois to join them.

Lois' eyes swept over them, then she walked over and sat down next to Chloe "Ok, umm, so have you found out anything?" She asked.

"Well we know what's happened, but we don't know how or why yet" Chloe said

"So tell me what you've got" She wanted to know what they knew. They had been discussing her and as this situation was clearly about her, she felt she had a right to know, but she felt strangely uncomfortable with the look Clark was giving her. She'd think it was almost….. loving, but that was impossible.

Chloe filled Lois in about the incident in 2007 then waited for the response.

"C'mon Chlo, I'd remember that happening, I'd remember if I fell asleep and woke up in the Smallville Medical Centre and was diagnosed with sleeping" Lois scoffed.

"Not if it was happening right now" Chloe firmly believed this is what was happening, granted she had no proof but it all just made too much sense.

"Wait, so you're saying that right now, in 2007 I'm there asleep. That's nuts, you said yourself it's 2015." Lois couldn't believe this crack pot theory they had come up with, this wasn't a science fiction novel they were discussing, it was her life.

"Lois it's the only thing that makes sense. We all remember it happening but you don't, which means that right now in 2007 you are unconscious." Chloe responded calmly.

"So somewhere out there is 2007…" Lois asked waving her arm around, "…yet in the same time and space, it's also 2015." She concluded rubbing her forehead.

"Yes."

"Ok, so how did I wake up, what caused it?" Lois needed to know, because she wanted to go back. Oh, these were the same people she knew, but everything just seemed a little….. off.

"We don't know, the doctors never found out and you wouldn't discuss it. But whatever happened, happened _here_. Someone or something did this to you in 2015 and it's affected both time lines."

"This is beyond nuts, you know that right?"

"Lois this is Smallville."

"Great, no offence Mrs Kent but I gotta get out of this town" Lois said leaning over to smile at Martha and let her know that she wasn't serious.

Martha smiled back; she understood Lois' frustration and hadn't taken offence.

"Ok, so we need to find out how this happened, well you three know this time better than I do, I don't even belong here, so have you come up with any ideas yet?

"No, we'd sort of just figured it out before you came down and we were trying to remember anything from when it happened. But that's just it, nothing did happen, we never found out what caused it and when you woke up, you didn't know anything. You said you felt like you had just fallen asleep. We did talk about it, but after running through everything a few times, you kind of got… annoyed and in the end just refused to discuss it, and I'm sorry Lo but it was eventually just forgotten and written off as a freak occurrence." Chloe replied.

"It's ok, I think I know why I didn't want to talk about it, too freaky, well, how long was I out for?" She wanted…. no needed to know.

"Five days." Chloe shrugged apologetically.

"Five days!" Lois asked in astonishment.

"I know, look we know something or someone caused this, I'm just going to grab a pen and some paper, and start writing down anything any of us can remember that's seemed even a little bit weird from both then and now."

Lois glanced at each of them and nodded "Ok, well I didn't have breakfast earlier and I'm starving, we can talk while I eat, I'm just too hungry at the moment to think straight" and so saying Lois stood up and walked towards the kitchen.

"I'll get you something Lo." Clark said eagerly, he wanted to feel useful and so far he had felt anything but, and if getting Lois something to eat would help, he wanted to do it. He grabbed her hand and led her to a seat at the table.

"Yeah that's ok Smallville, I think I can sit down on my own, being doing if for a really long time now." She was surprised, but Clark was a good guy and he obviously felt he needed to do something, and she could understand that, inactivity always made her restless.

After making Lois some fresh pancakes and bacon, Clark joined the three ladies at the table.

"Before we start talking about this, I need to tell you why I ran off earlier." Clark said, he owed her an explanation. Lois didn't know anything about Superman and he didn't want her to think he didn't care.

"Don't worry about it" Lois shrugged and dug into her breakfast.

"It's really important, I had to leave to take care of something and it couldn't wait, I'm sorry ….." he began only to be cut off.

"Ok, um….can you pass me the strawberry conserve please Mrs Kent?" Lois didn't understand why Clark felt he owed her an explanation; she had never questioned him about his weirdness and didn't feel the need to start now.

"Lo, please this is important" She was clearly indifferent to any explanation he wanted to give, but he needed her to listen.

"So's my breakfast" She replied around a mouthful of pancake.

"Lois…" frustrated Clark ran a hand through his hair and threw a pleading look to him mom.

"Look is this going to help figure out how to send me back, cause if not, I don't get why you're so anxious to explain _anything_ to me." Lois was also frustrated, he'd never tried to explain anything to her before, usually he'd just shrug and smile, or roll his eyes.

"Lois honey, please just let Clark explain, it may help you to understand why he left" Martha couldn't resist the pleading in Clark's eyes.

"Fine, go ahead, but after that, can we please get back on track." Taking a sip of her coffee, she turned to Clark with a lifted brow and gestured for him to go ahead.

"Ok, well, you know about all the weirdness around Smallville right?" he asked.

'Oh I'd say I'm familiar with it, present situation included" Lois responded with an ironic smile.

"Yeah, well I have special …..powers" this was a lot harder to say then he thought it would be

"Powers, what'd you mean you have special powers, are you saying your meteor infected?" Lois' eye brows lifted and she gave a small shake of her head.

"No, I was born this way. Lois I'm not human, I wasn't born here, I came down in the first meteor shower, my home planet blowing up actually caused the meteor shower" Clark said.

"You're not human, and your home planet blew up and caused the meteor shower" She repeated slowly, then gave him a disbelieving look before turning to Martha and Chloe with a 'he's nuts' face "Ok, well thanks, that was great, can we now get back to….."

"Lois, he's telling the truth." Chloe said, feeling the need to jump in, Lois clearly didn't believe and Clark could certainly use all the help he could get.

"He is, dear, Clark really is from another planet." Martha put in.

"Oh, I know what's going on, I'm not unconscious somewhere out there, you're all having me on, I'm on some kind of 'punkd' show right. Well, thanks for breakfast Mrs Kent, I'm just going to go back to my apartment now and think up ways to get ev…….." Lois's voice trailed off at seeing Clark using the finger of one hand to lift up the kitchen table they were currently sitting at.

"Lo, I'm not teasing, I wouldn't lie to you about this and I'm sorry but this was the only way to show you that I really do have powers, I didn't mean to scare you." Clark said after putting the table back down.

She felt surreal, she didn't know what to think, rubbing her hands over her face and blinking a few times Lois felt she had better listen to what he had to say "Ok, well…you have powers and umm…. you're from another planet." She scratched her head and gestured for Clark to go ahead and start again.

By the time he'd finished explaining everything Lois felt dazed. This was just too much; first she's in some time shifting world and now Smallville was an _**alien**_, with super powers no less.

"So if you're telling me, then I'm guessing everyone knows that you're an alien, right?" Lois questioned.

"Inter-Galactic Traveller." Clark corrected.

"Excuse me."

"I don't like the word 'alien', I prefer 'Inter-Galactic Traveller."

"Right sorry, I'm not really up on all the PC words, so everyone knows that you're an al..sorry Inter-Galactic Traveller?" Nodding her head slowly in understanding, Lois gestured for Clark to continue.

"Well everyone knows about Superman, but they don't know that I'm him."

Sure that she'd just taken two steps back in the conversation, Lois could only think of one thing to say "WHAT!"

"I have two identities, I'm Clark Kent, Reporter for the Daily Planet and I'm also Superman but not everyone knows that Clark Kent and Superman are the same person." Clark explained, he knew he was throwing a lot at her, especially after the shock she'd just had, little did she realise that another shock was yet to come.

"Well, obviously some people know" she put forward.

"Just a few friends who are in the super hero business too, mom of course, Chloe, you, Lana and a friend of mine Pete." Clark said shrugging.

"Super hero business, that's actually kind of cute." She smiled then continued "But I don't get it, I'm not the Lois you know, I mean you do know me, but… oh hell, you know what I mean, so why did you tell me now?" she was baffled, she didn't remember him ever trying to explain anything like this to her before, and couldn't understand why it was so important for her to know now.

"I didn't want you to think that I left this morning because I didn't care, but I had to leave and unfortunately there may be other times that I'll have to do so, with little or no notice."

Of course, Lois thought, guilt, farmboys favourite emotion, he'd left and felt guilty because she thought he didn't care "Well, now that I know, um… not to be insensitive or anything and this is all really…. you know, wow, but I can only have one crisis at a time, so can we get back to getting me back home?"

"Yes, of course, so has anyone thought of anything at all that's been weird, or strange or just plain off?" Chloe asked glancing at everyone.

There was quiet while everyone thought back over the past few weeks, but nothing came to mind, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, nothing that could have caused this.

After receiving negative head shakes from everyone, Chloe sighed "This makes no sense, something happened, one of us had to have noticed something." She finished in frustration.

"It's ok Chlo, look we know that we figure it out. I mean you said after five days I woke up right, so obviously we don't have the answers yet, but we must get them or I would never have woken up. Ok, that's just spooky." Lois said then shuddered.

"You're right, we will figure it out, we …."

"Or maybe I just woke up you know, maybe just like I woke up here, one night I'll go to sleep and be back where I belong." Lois put in hopefully. The thought of being stuck here was not one she wanted to contemplate, going to bed and waking up with eight years of her life gone was just not acceptable.

"It's possible but ….."

"Where's your ring Lo?" Clark asked. He had just noticed that Lois wasn't wearing her engagement ring and was saddened by it. She usually took it off to have a shower, so it wasn't like he'd never seen it off her, but he felt that this time, there was more to it than just taking it off for a shower and forgetting to put it back on again.

"Oh yeah, umm… is this something I bought myself?" Lois asked, after digging into the pocket of her pants to retrieve the ring and holding it up for inspection.

"No, you… you're engaged" Clark replied, and now comes shock number three for this morning he thought. Lois was a surprisingly resilient person, she had had to be, being dragged around from army base to army base by her father, but he had a feeling, she wasn't going to handle all of these shocks, one on top of the other too well.

"I'm engaged?" She asked raising her eyebrows and posing the statement as a question. Looking at the others, she noticed they seemed oddly edgy. Now she was curious, falling in love was easy, finding someone she'd want to spend the rest of her life with, not so much, her track record wasn't that great, and marriage wasn't something she had really thought about.

"Yeah, umm… you've been for together a while and got engaged a month ago." Clark explained.

"Huh, never thought of getting married, I mean I'm only 20 and definitely not ready for marriage. Well I guess one of you will have to tell my fiancé what's going on, I don't want to deck some poor guy if he tries to kiss me, and you'd better give me a photo of him, so I'll know what he looks like. Is he around or away at the moment? Lois asked.

"We'll let Clark fill you in dear, I have a couple of things I have to do upstairs, Chloe why don't you help me?" Martha said getting up from her seat with a vague smile on her face before heading for the stairs.

"Great idea, I'll just be upstairs helping Martha with her stuff." Chloe hurriedly replied and ran up the stairs.

The room was silent, Lois could feel her stomach starting to twist, she didn't want to look at Clark, but her eyes refused to budge from his face.

"You know what, it's not important, I mean…….." Lois began.

"Lois you're engaged to me." Clark interrupted softly.

Lois dropped the ring on the table and just stared at Clark. Although her eyes were on his face, he knew she wasn't really 'seeing him'.

Once again there was silence "Lois …Lois" Clark wasn't used to Lois being so quiet; he knew he'd given her a surprise but hoped she would take it ok.

Lois' hands twisted together and her head lightly bobbed left and right while speaking "To you, ok, so when you say engaged, you mean like we're engaged to what…. hold peace talks, set up a buffet ….." she finished hopefully.

"No Lois, I mean you and I are engaged to be married." Maybe things wouldn't be as ok as he'd hoped.

She gave a little laugh and then knocked her head lightly with her knuckles "I'm sorry, I think my hearing's on the fritz. I thought you said we, meaning you and I... this is really funny, you're gonna laugh and I totally don't blame you, but I thought you said we were getting married." Lois just shook her head, forcing out a light laugh.

"I did."

"Ok, huhm, so you're saying that I…", Lois pointed to herself "…and you", pointed to Clark "…are engaged to be married. Married as in for better or worse, that kind of married, that's not what you mean, right. Please tell me that's not what you mean." she finished pleadingly.

"Lois, you and I dated for 12 months, we moved in together almost a year after we first went out and that was 5 months ago and yes, I do mean we're engaged to be married." Clark said clearly to prevent any misunderstandings.

"Ok, so…..were we both just really desperate and lonely or did we have lobotomies? If we're marrying each other, we must have been out of our MINDS__Clark; I mean come on, what the hell kind of future have I found myself in?" Lois asked before jumping out of the chair and pacing around the kitchen, her speech getting higher, louder and faster "What, I couldn't find anyone else, so I'm marrying you!!! Are you freaking KIDDING me here, you were the best I could do. And you, what the hell's your excuse, did Lana not take you back the last time you went begging?" By the time she'd finished she was almost screeching and throwing her arms out in gestures.

Clark tried to keep his voice quiet and controlled, he understood she was upset but couldn't help being hurt by what she was saying "Lois I don't love Lana. Yes when I was younger I fancied myself in love with her but …."

"_**Fancied yourself in love with her**_, Clark within two minutes of meeting someone, you'd tell them how much you loved Lana, would only ever love Lana, wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else and that's pretty much from you, quote unquote." Lois said holding up her hands and crooking her fingers in the quote sign. "Hell, if a person didn't stand still long enough to listen to the rest of your rendition, I'd swear you'd chase them down the street to make sure they understood that Clark Kent loves Lana Lang. You've gotta have at least a hundred photos of her in your Lana shrine, god only knows where you keep the rest of them stashed, I'm sure there's more, and I don't even want to think about the condition they in, considering you get a woody just thinking about the girl." She was engaged to Clark Kent, Lois couldn't believe it, this was just too much.

By the time Lois had finished, Clark's face was burning red knowing exactly what she was implying, but he knew he had to keep tying, had to get through to her somehow "Lois I was young and foolish, I really believed that I loved Lana, but I'm no longer a scared teenager, I've grown up, I don't love Lana, I love you."

"Well that's just great Clark, but you see where I come from, only a week ago you were practically in TEARS__while I had to listen to another one of your boring 'Lana is all I ever wanted' spiels. God, just listening to the same garbage, every single time you and Lana opened your mouths, made me want to blow my head off, just so I wouldn't have to listen to that shit any more. The rest of the time, I'd imagine killing the two of you, and believe me it would've been a mercy killing and no court would convict me, once they found out the torture that the two of you put everyone through. And now, NOW Clark, you want me to accept that that's all over and hey, you don't love Lana anymore. Yeah, that's not gonna happen." Lois said in anger.

"Lois please just listen, let me explain how you and I got together." He was pleading and knew it, but he didn't care, he had to get through to her, had to make her understand.

"No!" She said in finality.

"Lois ……"

"No Clark, I'm not interested, I don't want to know. You say we're engaged, that we've been living together and I sincerely hope you mean as roommates, because the thought of you and I having sex is seriously freaking me out, but if we are engaged and that's a big IF, then you must know me pretty well, am I right?" Lois asked.

"Lois ….."

"Am I right?" She pressed

"Yes."

"Well then you know that I've come to like you Clark, I really have, but unless I've been possessed, which doesn't count, I have NEVER thought of you romantically. I'm not into this 'let's all go out with each other's girl friends, boyfriends, switch partners and hey we're all still friends custom' which seems to run rampant within your little clique here in Smallville. My friends are my friends and my romantic attachments are kept separate." Lois concluded.

"Lois, just listen, that's all I'm asking, please."

"No."

Despite her protests, Clark started anyway "When I first joined the Daily Planet you had already been working there for three years, as soon as I saw you Lois, I knew that I loved you."

"So basically, once again you fell for a face. Do you never learn? I'm interested in more than just looks Clark. Yeah, looks may draw me in, but if that's all that's on offer, I bail really quick. You get sucked into the looks and then make up a whole personality you like to fit the person, refusing to see them for what they really are. Looks are all that interest you." She said contemptuously.

"No they're not." Clark was stunned that she thought him so shallow. He knew they hadn't always got along when they were younger, but he thought she knew him better than that.

"Oh yeah, aren't you the guy who said he fell in love with Lana when he was 5. You didn't even SPEAK to the girl till you were 15, yet you claimed to KNOW that Lana was the one for you, which means you could only have been in love with her face. Lana was you're princess, you didn't even know her, but you were in love with her, and you made sure that everyone who came into contact with you was painfully aware of it, emphasis on the word painfully, because you were a GIGANTIC pain in the ass about it. And once again you fell for a face. Only this time, it was mine."

She was pissed off, how the hell did this happen. She had never thought of Clark and her romantically, NEVER. Sure he was good looking, she wasn't blind, but the mood swings, constant whining and brooding were more than she could take, and to think that she had signed up for a life time of it, god no, just what in hell had happened in the last eight years.

"Lois, let me finish, I didn't fall for your face. Look you're a stunner and you have a great body but that's just the icing, we were friends long before anything romantic happened between us …." He could now see why Lois felt as she did, but it hurt that she'd think he was still the same insecure boy she knew.

"Don't use the word romantic when talking about us." Lois shuddered.

"Lois, I fell in love with you, all of you, you're stubborn, you talk a lot, you yell at people when caffeine or chocolate deprived, you swear too much, and I could go on, but I don't care about any of that, because I LOVE YOU." Now he was getting frustrated too, Lois could make him angrier and more frustrated faster than anyone else, but if he didn't stay patient, nothing would be solved, because he knew Lois all to well, she would just refuse to listen to anything he had to say.

"God, if I have to hear anymore of this, I'm gonna need a cigarette and a drink. Do I have any smokes or do I have to go buy some, because I'm serious here." She said scrubbing her hands over her face.

"You have them, you pretend you don't smoke, and I pretend I don't know about it. I don't want you to, but it's your body and I'm not going to tell you what to do."

"Well that's changed, you were always preaching about something or another." She said smiling faintly.

"Lois I love you and when I fell in love with you, I fell for the whole package. If you ever decide to give up smoking for good, I'll be behind you 100 percent, but I'm not going to stupidly walk away from the best thing in my life because of it."

"Best thing in your life huh, makes me wonder if it's not me who's nuts, but you, maybe you had another memory episode and ….."

"No Lois, my memory's just fine. So if you really need a cigarette, I'll go and get them from your secret stash, because I do want to tell you about us. I know you don't want to hear it, but please just hear me out, that's all I'm asking. After all, you like to make informed decisions, but you can't make one unless you have all the information."

"God Smallville, you really are annoying, ok go and get the smokes, I'll probably get a head rush it's been so long since I've had one, but I don't care. I need a crutch if I have to hear this, and at the moment I'll take any crutch I can get."

***

When he went upstairs, he saw his mom's bedroom door was closed, so lightly knocked and went in. Both his mom and Chloe were sitting on the bed, and he could hear the music from the radio playing. It was obvious they had been trying not to listen, but Lois' voice was loud and from the sympathetic looks on their faces it was also obvious that even if they hadn't heard every word, they had heard enough to know the conversation wasn't going too well.

Quickly he explained that he was going to take Lois outside to talk on the porch, thereby providing themselves with more privacy and his mom and Chloe the embarrassment of having to listen to such an intensely private conversation.

After receiving nods and encouraging smiles, he ran into his bedroom, x-rayed Lois' luggage to find her cigarettes and returned downstairs.

When he couldn't find her in the house he panicked, but almost immediately heard her heart beat and realised she had already gone outside.

He found her on leaning against the fence post, running one hand absently though the fur on Shelby's head, while looking out over the farm, He quickly jogged over to join her, she had obviously found and raided his mom's sherry, because she was slowly sipping it from a glass. He thought it best not say anything about how early it was, this was not the time to tease or preach. He just quietly handed over the cigarettes.

Lois turned and looked at him. "Look I'm sorry for the way I bawled you out in there, you know me, I tend to speak before I think. I was unfair to you and I apologise but you have to understand what a shock this is to me?" She had calmed down some and realised that she'd been unfair to him. She had been angry, still was, but he didn't deserve the tongue lashing she'd given him, and knew an apology was in order.

"I do and it's all right, I know you're shocked …. " Clark appreciated her apology, Lois was Lois, she hated apologising, but she always did when she felt she was in the wrong.

"It's never alright Smallville, you didn't deserve it, but thank you for being so understanding." She said interrupting him before trying to light up a cigarette.

Clark could see her hand was shaking and knew that all the revelations coming one on top of another had taken a toll and she was trying to hold it all together as usual. He wished he could hold her, let her know that he was there for her, but she wasn't his Lois, and wouldn't appreciate it, the only thing he could do was quietly take the lighter from her and place the flame to the tip.

She took a deep drag "Thanks, I …." cough, cough, cough "… god why did I take this up again?" she asked before taking another smaller drag on the cigarette, which she found easier "Ok, now I need to sit down, because I'm feeling kind of light headed."

They walked onto the porch and sat in the swing with Shelby sitting guard at the top of the steps.

"Well, go ahead, I promise not to interrupt this time, no matter how much I want to." Lois said quietly.

Knowing that she would keep her promise and any questions until after, Clark took a deep breath and began to recount their story to her.

Lois listened quietly to everything Clark told her, as promised she didn't interrupt once, but after he was finished, she asked if she could borrow one of the cars because she wanted to go for a drive and think for a while. Maybe go into town or just drive along the back roads, but she just wanted to be alone.

Clark sped inside, got the keys and her purse, told her which car was hers and watched as she drove away; hoping that she had taken in everything he'd said and wasn't disappointed in the life and choices her older self had made.

***

Lois drove along aimlessly, she didn't have a particular destination in mind, she just wanted to get away and be by herself without anyone around trying to talk to her about her life and the situation she now found herself in.

She'd listened to everything Clark had said, but found it hard to reconcile the man he was, with the boy she knew. Clark was a good guy with a mile wide hero complex, and at least now she knew why, it couldn't be easy, being the last son of a long dead planet.

But although she admired the man he was and the way he used his powers to help those in need, she didn't love him and the thought of being married to him was such a foreign concept to her, that the story he'd told, while interesting and romantic just seemed like a nice story. She just couldn't imagine them being together, being romantic with each other, it just seemed……wrong.

She wasn't like Clark, as long as she'd known him, he'd only ever talked about either his love for Lana or his fear of ending up alone. She wasn't like that, yes, she'd hoped that one day she'd meet someone she could love unreservedly, and only hoped they would love her back in the same way, but it wasn't a thought that consumed her mind.

Hell she was only 20 and although older than Clark in age, he'd been older than her in mind. He'd been ready to settle down with his small town sweetheart from the time he was 5. She wanted to see the world, but this time on her own terms and not as an army brat, she wanted to make something of herself and only after doing that, would she be ready to settle down and could only hope it wouldn't turn out to be some hum drum life in the suburbs.

It didn't sound like she had compromised in her life, it didn't sound like he did either and she couldn't imagine any life with a super hero would be in any way hum drum, but Clark Kent was just NOT the man she'd ever thought she'd settle down with.

Before she knew it, she found herself in town and driving down the street. Nothing much had changed, although she supposed it had only been eight years, which wasn't long in small town standards, usually a person had to live in a small town for three generations before they were considered one of them. There were several new shops, and she was curious to see if anything much else had changed, so pulled the car over, and took to the streets on foot.

She didn't want to think anymore, she just wanted to wallow, enjoy being in Smallville and not worry about time travel and fiancés or that somewhere….some time, her body, her 20 year old body was presently lying in the Smallville Medical Centre unconscious.


	5. Chapter 5

Note: before I forget to mention it; this story has drama, angst, romance and comedy. But as I had to classify it I made it drama/romance. Also, I'm a big fan of L&C the new adventures of S'man, so every now and again you'll find bits of that show sprinkled throughout.

**

**Chapter 5**

_Lana – 2015_

Lana Lang didn't understand what had gone wrong. When she'd woken up this morning, she had expected to wake up at the Kent farm, to roll over and see Clark's face on the pillow next to hers; to feel his body lying next hers. To have memories of all the years they had happily been together, getting married, maybe with children, all of their shared Christmas' and birthdays, her and Clark….together. Instead, all she had was a big lonely bed and memories of a bleak existence full of heart ache, sorrow and loss.

Her life had not turned out the way she had expected it to. In high school she was the pretty popular girl, she had friends and boyfriends, the world was her oyster. Oh she'd had her share of misery and upset, beginning with losing her parents in the first meteor shower when she was six, and she still felt the pain of their passing to this day. But for too long she had carried the ache of their deaths around with her, and as a result had expected the people closest to her, those who said they loved her to eventually leave. Because of this, she had started placing expectations on them, demanding all of their time and attention, until eventually she wore them down and they did leave.

Her Aunt Nell had raised her after her parents had died and at the time, she had been too self-involved to even be grateful for that, thank god she had made it right with Nell and now they were closer than ever.

She had finally learnt to let her parents go, but not before she had utterly ruined her life.

Clark was the only boy who had truly loved her, who wanted only to protect her and make her happy but she had started demanding answers to questions he didn't want to give. She had seen it as a lack of trust, and eventually he'd had broken up with her and broken her heart. She had had other boyfriends before and after Clark but he was the one, he was the only one who didn't make demands on her, or the only demand he made, was that she trust him when he said that he loved her, but she was too young and foolish to see that at the time.

After Clark she had gone out with Lex. That was the biggest mistake she had made and one that she had never stopped regretting. By the time she married Lex, she had pushed Clark so far out of her life, that even when he had wanted to help her, even when he had begged her to marry him instead, her pride wouldn't allow her to turn to him. She'd wanted to punish him, he had betrayed her, he had thrown her away and it was too late to want her back.

It was only after marrying Lex that she realised what a fool she had been, and had suffered the painful realisation that the man she trusted, was not someone she knew at all.

Clark had tried to tell her she was making a mistake in trusting and marrying Lex and she remembered how confident she been, how sure that Lex would never hurt her the way Clark had. She knew Lex, she could trust Lex, he didn't hide things from her. Clark was just being dog in the manger, he didn't want her, but he didn't want Lex to have her either.

Shortly before her marriage, she finally found out what Clark had been hiding from her, he had been meteor infected. She didn't tell anyone….this information she kept to herself, even though Clark had hurt her. Even though she was still angry at him, she still cared for him and wasn't about to let him be used as lab rat or to be looked at by others as some kind of 'freak'.

At the time she didn't know or realise the full extent of his powers but she knew that he was special. He didn't use his powers to hurt people, as so many other meteor affected people did; he used whatever he'd gained from the meteors to help people. It wasn't until years later that she found out about Clark's alien heritage and that he was even more special than she had known, and by then the knowledge made little difference to her because she loved him.

Shortly after her marriage, she found out that Clark had been right, she didn't know Lex, she didn't know anything about him that he didn't want her to know. He'd had her completely snowed, and like a child she had blindly accepted all the lies he'd fed her.

She had thrown away Clark for Lex. When Clark had broken up with her, she should have talked to him, fought for him, made him tell her what was wrong. Instead she had taken her battered ego and turned to Lex. A decision that she deeply regretted. Not only because it had cost her Clark; but also her self confidence and her self-respect for a long time.

She and Clark had managed to become friends again after the fiasco of her marriage was over, but the trust was gone. She couldn't trust that he wouldn't turn away from her at some point for no reason, and he couldn't trust that she wouldn't run into the arms of another man, the moment their relationship hit its first rocky patch.

They hadn't gotten back together, but oh, how she wanted to. She wanted to reassure him that she loved him, that they could overcome any differences and betrayals they both felt. She had waited for any sign, no matter how small from Clark that he wanted her back, but no sign was ever forthcoming.

Then one day Clark had come and told her he was leaving Smallville. He wouldn't tell her why, only wished her happiness and hoped they would always be friends. She had tried to talk him out of it, tried to let him know that she would wait for him. She didn't want to pressure him, the last time that happened, everything had gone horribly wrong, but she was desperate to keep him near hoping that he would love her again. However, for one of the first times in his life, Clark said no to her. He had listened to her arguments but hadn't been swayed, he'd said goodbye and that was the last time she had seen him.

She'd left Smallville shortly after Clark, without him, there was no reason for her to stay, and so once again she went to France with the hope that this new chapter in her life would be better than the old. Maybe she could meet someone else, someone who would love her and help her to forget the mistakes of the past and a certain boy that she still loved deeply.

Unfortunately all she found was more heartbreak. She had relationships, and each one ended without recrimination or accusations, and she wasn't sorry when they failed. Each man she'd gone out with had come up short, because she couldn't help comparing every one of them to Clark.

Her life had become aimless, she studied art but it was more of a hobby, she'd made a little money selling some of the pictures she'd pained, but she knew now that art was not the passion in her life. Her passion was reserved for one thing only; or one person, Clark. All she wanted was to be with Clark, to be back in his arms.

She could imagine their life together, filled with love and happiness on the farm. They would own the Talon or another coffee shop, Clark would run the farm, just like his dad before him and she would happily spend the rest of her life making a home for them. Raising children. The picture was all so clear in her head, they'd wake up in the morning, make love, he'd do the chores, she would make his breakfast, they would eat together, then she'd go and mann their coffee shop for a few hours. She would have left him a nourishing meal for lunch and be back by three to start dinner. Then the two of them would just relax together, watching TV, kissing and just being happy.

She'd forgotten what happiness was, she only remembered that when she and Clark were together, although their relationship was relatively short, she was happier than she'd ever been in her life. She wanted that back, she wanted him…..no them back.

She didn't remember what caused her great ancestor Isabelle Theroux to first enter her mind. She'd been lost and homesick and one day while walking down one of France's many streets, had seen a little Wicka shop. She'd gone in, but everything seemed so phoney, and it was clear the owner was just in it for the money and not because of any true belief.

She'd been disappointed, she knew magic was real, she'd touched it, experienced it. She had no clear memories, but she felt that although Isabelle had been removed from her, a little bit of her had stayed. Isabelle had been her blood, and she had been a very powerful witch.

So she decided to try and track down any known information on her great ancestor. Isabelle fascinated her and she wanted to learn as much about Isabelle and her life as she could.

It wasn't easy, most of the people involved with Wicka were only in it for the money, or because it was 'the new trend'. But she persevered, and eventually learnt much about Isabelle and her life. Her spell book was long gone, but Isabelle had been a woman of insight and power, she must have known or hoped, that one day one of her ancestors would try to find her.

She had dug and dug, studied and talked to anyone who could shed any light on the days of Isabelle being alive. Folk tales and stories were passed down by word of mouth and only the truly discerning, and those seeking the truth would find it.

Eventually she'd learnt as much about Isabelle that there was to be had. She had learnt even more about magic and the power one could wield with it, if they truly understood it and knew how to use it.

She opened a little Wicka/Art shop which was doing quite well, the business wasn't booming but she had a steady income, no debts and money in the bank. She was doing alright. She had been in France for four years when one day she caught a news bulletin about a flying man that the worlds press dubbed Superman, a man of extraordinary power and gentleness. She had known it was Clark, and committed every word of the interview that Lois had written to memory. She had voraciously read every article, and taped any news footage that showed Clark doing all he could to make the world a better place.

She began tying up her business and personal life and a few months later was ready to go home. She would get Clark back, but this time there would be no secrets, no lies between them, this time they would get it right. She didn't have Clark's powers but she did have her own, she was quite an accomplished witch and between the two of them, she and Clark could help so many people and they could be happy, not only by being together, but by using their combined power for the betterment of mankind.

The first stop she made upon entering America was Metropolis. She wanted to see Clark, she had to let him know that she knew he was Superman and that she would never betray him to anyone. She would keep his secret.

She had imagined all sorts of scenarios for her first meeting with Clark after so many years apart. They were no longer children, they were now both adults, and this time they would not make the same mistakes. This time she would ensure Clark knew he had all of her trust, loyalty and love.

She had called him at work, and used their past connection to wrangle a dinner invitation from him and resolved that if he had to leave in the middle of it, so be it. She would be waiting for him when he came back, because she knew that he would be leaving to save someone. She would not be demanding explanations, she would let him know that she knew everything and be supportive of whatever he had to do.

Clark HAD been pleased to see her, she could see it in his face, and it was so good just to be near him again, to talk to him and when he hugged her in greeting, she remembered all the times he had held her years before. He had always made her feel safe……special and most of all protected. He couldn't fake how happy he was to see her again; Clark wasn't much of a liar, that was how she knew when he was lying to her when they were younger. However, this time he didn't have to hide anything from her, this time they would get it right and this time, unlike their last encounter he was happy to see her, not just happy that she was away from Lex.

When she was younger she had played games, too many of them and eventually that had driven him away. This time there would be no games, no hidden agendas, she would let him know that she loved him and always would.

All of her plans, all of her dreams came to nought. Clark was at first apprehensive when she told him that she knew he was Superman. But she assured him she would never ever betray him and was grateful that his innate goodness let him know that he could trust her. However, when she tried to tell him of her hopes and dreams for them, he'd cut her off. He thought she was just trying to cling to their past, find a connection. He either didn't understand or didn't want to. He tried so desperately not to hurt her, and that was what hurt most of all.

When he told her he didn't love her, that he had years before, but that it had been a childish love, one that was more real in their imaginations, then it ever had been in real life, she wanted to protest. When he'd gone on to say that their love was just something for them to cling to, because they feared growing up and being alone, she wanted to challenge his claim and tell him that he was wrong. But when he said that he would always care about her, always do anything he could to ensure her happiness, and he sincerely hoped she would find it one day, but it wouldn't be with him. She had to concede defeat.

She'd smiled and shrugged to show him that he hadn't wounded her, she was just fine; he'd smiled back and kissed her on the cheek. When they were standing outside her hotel, she hugged him and held on a little longer than politeness demanded. She didn't want to let go, she wanted him to change his mind, to tell her that he loved her and always would, just like he used to. Instead, he moved out of her arms, said goodnight and left.

She'd been utterly crushed and couldn't stop the tears from flowing once in the elevator. When she got to her room, she lay curled up on the bed and cried for everything that was lost, her dreams, her hopes and the life she wanted to build with him. Why couldn't he love her, he had, she knew he had. She'd spoiled everything; she had carelessly thrown his words of love back in his face over and over again, and would now give anything to take it all back.

She resolved to be the best friend Clark could have, the truest and most loyal. She would win him back, she didn't know how, but she did know he valued loyalty. and this time he would know that all of her loyalty was to him and him only.

She moved back to Smallville, got a loan and bought the Talon. She had left a very capable manager in charge of her shop in France, so still had the money from that to supplement her income. She renovated and updated the Talon for those wanting to have a light meal, but made sure it was still comfortable enough as the local hangout for school kids. She painted and placed her pictures on the Talon wall for sale and most times they sold quite fast. And as the Talon was still the place in Smallville that most people congregated for coffee, a meal and a chat, business was good, and her bank account was healthy.

She knew that Mrs Kent still owned the farm and that Clark would visit his mom, so decided to re-connect with her. She truly liked Martha Kent, who had always been kind and loving to her, even after she had married Lex. So even though her agenda was to get closer to Clark through his mother, it wasn't the whole; or only reason that she decided to cultivate a friendship.

Over time she and Martha had gotten closer and friendlier. The barrier of age hadn't gotten in the way of their friendship and she truly enjoyed the older woman's company. She was a regular visitor to the Kent farm and when Mrs Kent was in town the two of them would always have coffee and occasionally lunch together. When Clark came for a visit, she was always invited for dinner and after his mom went to bed, she and Clark would chat and catch up with each other.

She never hinted at any kind of personal feelings other than friendship to him, she dated occasionally, no one she was interested in, just men to go out with, so when Clark asked about her life, she could foster the belief that she wasn't pining for him, and hopefully avoid any uncomfortable feelings. She thoroughly enjoyed their conversations; there was a freedom in talking about anything, because he no longer had to hide any part of his life from her.

She would casually ask if he was dating anyone and he always said no, he was too busy with both his jobs to cultivate any romantic connections, for which she was grateful. He talked about Chloe and Lois and she would always ask after them, but it was him and his life she was really interested in.

then one day while she was having lunch with Martha, Mrs Kent had surprised her with the news that Clark was coming to stay for a long weekend and was bringing Chloe and Lois with him. The three of them were very close and they all were coming for a visit back to Smallville. Martha had clearly been looking forward to the visit, as prior to that, she had gone and stayed with Clark once or twice in Metropolis, but this time the Kent home would be full with her son and his two best friends who Martha loved. She was invited her for dinner, and smiled in agreement when the older woman mentioned that as the four of them had been close when they were kids, it would be a good time for them all to catch up with each other again.

She'd looked forward to the visit. Clark was coming for a long weekend, it wouldn't just be a few hours here and there as usual; this time he would be there for three whole days. They had become friends again, better friends than they ever were, and she remembered how much she had always enjoyed both Chloe and Lois' company.

She was excited, and dressed extra special for the dinner, she wanted Clark to see her looking her best, but she didn't want to over-do, she didn't want to stick out, so she called Martha and asked what the dress code was. Martha replied that it was just casual, nothing fancy, so she wore the best casual outfit she had. Linen pants with an apricot camisole top and carried a light beige sweater in case the weather turned cooler. She did her hair and make-up with extra care and left in plenty of time. No late entrances, she didn't want to keep anyone waiting, she wanted to see her friends.

The dinner turned out to be one of the worst nights of her life. Everyone was happy to see her, they all exchanged stories and caught up, they went through all the 'remember whens' and laughed at the things they did when they were in school. It would have been nice, it would have been a wonderful dinner, getting together with friends that she hadn't seen in so long, but it was utterly spoiled because of one thing that she noticed, that everyone noticed, except for Lois. Clark Kent was in love with Lois Lane.

Lois had been her friend when they were younger. Lois was the one person she could talk to regarding her relationship with Lex. Lois was the one person she never thought would steal the man she loved away from her.

Everywhere Lois went, Clark's eyes followed, he watched her, he paid attention to her, he was attentive to her and Lois was utterly oblivious. She wanted to hate her, she wanted to scratch her eyes out, she wanted to hurt Lois in the same way that she was hurting, but she could do nothing, other than pretend that she was glad to see Lois.

After Martha had gone to bed and Lois had retreated upstairs to make a phone call, Clark, Chloe and she had gone into the barn and up into the loft to talk. Although Clark had left the farm years ago, his mother had never changed the loft. She still dusted it and kept it for when he came. As Martha said, there was only her at the house now, and as she didn't need the loft for any particular reason, didn't see the need to change it.

Being in the loft brought back so many memories of when they would all talk and hang out together, look at the stars through the telescope, study, their fights and arguments, and the times that Clark and she would sneak up to the loft and make-out.

It was while talking with Chloe and Clark that she learnt one very important thing, Lois may have had Clark's love but she didn't have all of him. She didn't know his secrets. She was pleased by that, pleased that Clark was holding one of the most important parts of himself back from Lois.

She remembered their conversation. She'd hated it, hated everything about it, she didn't want to hear Clark talk about how much he loved Lois, but she had to know, had to understand, because only then could she fight.

What she learnt was that Lois didn't want Clark, Lois wasn't interested in Clark; Lois, she decided, was an idiot.

For the first time in her life, she understood exactly how Chloe had felt all those years ago. Loving Clark and having to listen while he spoke about someone else. She now knew what it felt like to be relegated to the position of friend, who wasn't desired by the man she loved. She didn't know how Chloe had done it.

She'd tuned back in, just as Chloe had been asking Clark when he was going to ask Lois out.

"Ok, well let's talk about something more interesting, like when are you going to ask Lois out again?" Chloe asked eagerly

"I already did…." Clark shrugged "…she said no."

"What!" She couldn't believe it, Clark had asked Lois out more than once, and she'd said NO.

"Yeah, she said that we were best friends and dating might ruin the friendship and our working together, and it was better not to take the chance." It was clear that he was still hurt by the rejection.

"I'm sorry Clark, I don't know what the hell my cousins thinking. She really does love you but ….."

"Only as a friend, I know. She's IN love with Superman, or at least she used to be, but it makes no difference, because she still doesn't want me." He said despondently.

"Lois is in love with your alter ego?" She couldn't believe it, how could Lois not see that Clark and Superman was the same person. For someone so smart, she could be awfully dumb.

"She used to be, she was in love with Superman from the moment he first arrived on the scene and…."

"Don't you mean since you first arrived on the scene?"

"No Lana, Clark here refers to Superman as a separate person. It's no wonder Lois thinks he's two people, Clark does too." Chloe laughed.

"No Chloe I don't, but Superman _isn't_ me. Superman is just my powers. Clark Kent is me and that's who I want Lois to fall in love with, Clark Kent."

"Clark, you ARE Superman, no matter what you say Superman is a big part of who you are. You were always so worried that people would be afraid of the alien part of you and yet here you have Lois, the woman you love, who will also love the alien part of you and now that's not enough." Chloe was clearly frustrated, it was obvious she and Clark had discussed this more than once.

"Chloe, I want Lois to love me, Clark Kent. I know she'll accept the Superman side of me, and yes that's great but I also want her to fall in love with her friend, plain old farmboy, Smallville." Clark said.

Yes, it was obvious this was a conversation that had been revisited many times.

"Ok, but you said she doesn't love Superman anymore, so I don't understand." She couldn't get her head around this. Lois DIDN'T want Clark, what in the hell was wrong with her?

"It makes no difference whether she's in love with Superman, Batman or anyone else because she only sees me as a friend. Do you know how much I've come to detest the word FRIEND? It's as bad as being told 'it's not you, it's me' because you know damn well their saying that it IS you. I hate that she just wants to be my friend, do you know how it feels to love someone so much, only to be told they just want to be friends?" He finished in disdain.

"Yes, Clark I do remember how that feels." Chloe said with an ironic smile.

"Sorry Chlo, I didn't ……"

"Forget about it, that was years ago, and thank god it wasn't really love; even though at the time I thought it was. But I do remember how painful it can feel when the one you want, doesn't feel the same way, it really sucks big time."

"Oh it more than sucks and the worst part is, I'm so pathetic that I'll keep on being her friend because it's better than nothing. I know how important friendship is to Lois, and at least I get to hold onto her that way, but I don't know what I'm going do if she starts dating. I could try to intimidate the guy, or just throw him into the stratosphere, but I have a feeling Lois won't take kindly to that." He finished with a wry twist to his mouth.

"Uh no, we've talked about this before, and not only will Lois be beyond pissed, but I have a feeling she might really give you what for." Chloe laughed.

"So what …..." Lana started.

"Shh, Lois is coming." Clark hissed.

"Here you all are! I should have known, back in your loft again Smallville and you know, I'm thinking with the three of us women here surrounding you, maybe we should call you Hef or Charlie from now on, what'd you think?" Lois teased.

"Oh definitely Charlie." Clark smiled back.

"I like Charlie too and I'm Sabrina." said Chloe.

"No way, I'm Sabrina, you're Jill and Lana's Kelly." countered Lois.

"Why do you get to be Sabrina?" Chloe pouted.

"Because it was my idea naturally."

"Ok, good answer."

"So Charlie, remember when you'd sit up here for days at a time brooding and mooning over you know who?" Lois asked, rolling her eyes in Lana's direction.

The three of them had tried to tease Clark. She'd been secretly thrilled that Lois had brought it up, she'd hoped that walking down memory lane might get Clark to realise that she was still here, still available and would jump at the chance to go out with him. But it was clear that he didn't want to remember those times. She didn't know if it was because of his feelings for Lois, or because of her clumsy attempt at declaring herself almost a year ago, but it was apparent he was uncomfortable talking about it.

"Lois, c'mon that was years ago, I was a kid, we all were, so how about we forget what a sad sack I was, and if we must trip back in time, lets remember how you used to come up here and bug me, or how you conned me into letting you stay with my family." He laughed in return.

"Hey, I never conned anyone in my life, thank you very much." Lois countered back.

"Ha!"

"What exactly are you saying Mr?" Lois poked Clark in the stomach, then put her hands on her hips and a mock scowl on her face.

"I'm saying, that you're a professional con, want me to recite your conversation on how you got me to let you stay? I can, I remember it; something about a hobo was mentioned I believe." Clark replied, then quickly scooted back on the couch before Lois could poke him in the stomach again.

"No, you don't need to recite it you show off; do you have memory recall or something?"

"Nope, but I do remember that conversation because I was so completely snowed, and before I'd even realised it, you'd taken over my bedroom and I was relegated back to sleeping on the couch."

And so the conversation went on and it was evident by the laughing and teasing, the shared smiles and casual touches, that Clark and Lois enjoyed each other's company and were close. Chloe and she just sat back and although she didn't enjoy the show it was obvious Chloe did. Every now and then Chloe would join in, and the three of them would laugh or talk about their work at the Daily Planet, but they would quickly change the subject, to ensure she didn't feel left out.

Finally Lois said that she was going to bed, Chloe decided that she would too and it was just her and Clark again. Just the way she liked it. They talked for a little while longer about inconsequential things and then she'd gone home.

When Chloe called her the next day to invite her out with them she accepted. She didn't want to watch Clark watching Lois, or hear him talk about her, but she wanted to be where he was. She had to be a masochist. Being around Clark who was oblivious to how much she was hurting, seeing him behave with another woman, they way he had with her was painful, but she couldn't help herself.

They had spent all weekend together, going to Crater Lake, having coffee at the Talon, going out to lunch, watching movies at the Kent farm, just relaxing and enjoying the places they taken pleasure in, in their youth. By the time the weekend was over, they had all become fast friends again. But what the other three didn't know; was that she would have liked Lois, if she didn't already hate her for stealing Clark. She wanted Lois gone.

They had promised to keep in touch and urged her to come visit in Metropolis when she could, so she went once or twice but always called ahead to make plans to get together with the three of them.

She both enjoyed and hated the visits. Being near Clark was wonderful, having him smile at her, knowing that in some way she was special to him brought back so many memories, but the way he watched and looked at Lois hurt. She knew his crush on Lois had to be endured until he got over it, but after spending time with them, she always came away feeling bruised and battered. But to win this fight, she had to know her opponent inside out, so she pushed her hurt aside and watched Clark, watch Lois.

Whenever she and Clark were alone, she would gently feel him out regarding his feelings for Lois, hoping that he was tired of his unrequited infatuation and was ready to turn to someone who cared, only to find that he hadn't given up hope that one day Lois would be his. She tried to be supportive when he talked about her, she hadn't told him that he and Lois belonged together, in fact she'd subtly hinted just the opposite, but he just wasn't listening.

There was no doubt that Lois was beautiful, smart and intelligent and even she could see why the woman would turns a man's head, but Lois was also bossy, rude and pushy, all the things Clark had hated about her when they were younger.

She remembered once saying to Clark "All the best one's start that way" referring to him and Lois but she hadn't meant it. Even though she'd been secretly seeing Jason at the time, she had needed to know if Clark was still devoted to her, so she had pried as casually as she could into Clark's feelings for Lois, and was quietly pleased when he said he couldn't stand her.

She had known then that Lois wasn't a threat, and if her relationship with Jason didn't work out, Clark would be there.

Clark had always been there waiting patiently for her to notice him, for her to give him her time and attention and it was no secret that he loved her. When she was ready, and ONLY when she was ready, would she turn to him. Of course any time his attention veered from her to another girl, she had had to rein him in again, but she knew he would always be waiting for her.

When she was 18, and finally realised that she loved Clark Kent and always would, she had told him. He'd been so happy, he loved her too, he would have done anything for her and he had made that clear to everyone. But like always, she just couldn't be happy and started questioning and doubting until Clark finally broke up with her. She really thought she'd get over him as easily as she had every other boyfriend. She'd been a fool.

Seven months after their first visit, Martha told her that Clark and Lois were dating, and she had pretended to be pleased and happy for them. It was clear that Martha was happy, it was no secret that Lois held a special place in the Kent family's hearts and it hurt, because she knew as much as Martha liked her, as close as they had become, Martha still didn't feel about her, they way she did about Lois. She tried to comfort herself with the assurance that the relationship wouldn't last. Clark was just so much more than Lois.

After learning that they were dating, she stopped going to Metropolis for several months but saw them when they came to visit. Sometimes with Chloe, sometimes by themselves, and hated herself for her weakness in wanting to be with Clark so much, that she couldn't say no when asked to join them.

If Lois wasn't there she would have enjoyed his visits but Lois' presence was pervasive, and all she wanted was for her to go away. She never knew she was such a good actress. She never used to be, when she was younger her emotions were worn on her face for the world to see, but her marriage to Lex had taught her to hide what she was feeling, to push everything down deep, so she guessed that something good, had come out of that hell after all.

She couldn't deny that Clark looked happy, he couldn't take his eyes of Lois, and he was always touching her. Letting his hand rest on her knee, putting an arm around her shoulders or waist; or just placing his hand on her back to help her into the car or her seat. That was as far as their public displays went, they were both private people and for that she was grateful.

She had tried repeatedly to forget the time she caught them kissing, but that scene and her feelings were indelibly stamped into her mind. One day when they had been dating for about eight months, Martha dropped into the Talon and over coffee told her that Clark had come alone for the weekend and was presently at the farm. She'd been invited back for lunch, Martha had to run few errands and stop in at the store for a couple of things, but they would soon be on their way. She decided to drive herself, giving the excuse that she'd need her car for getting back, but would go out and keep him company until the older woman returned home.

She had quickly rushed home, changed into a pretty casual outfit and was soon on her way. The whole drive to the Kent house, she kept reminding herself that usually they came for any visits together. So if he was alone, it could only mean that the glow of their relationship had worn off, and they'd broken up.

She parked the car and headed toward the house, butterflies in her stomach the whole time. He'd always been there for her when she'd broken up with her boyfriends and needed a friend, hoping that the time was right for them to be together and that she'd turn to him. Maybe she could now do the same, be a friend and hopefully give him the push he needed to realise that she was still there and still loved him.

The back door was open, her hand was raised ready to knock on the screen door, her mouth open ready to call out a greeting, when she heard the laughter; the kind of laughter that only two lovers share. She had ended up just staring; taking in the scene she'd nearly walked in on.

She wanted to look away, on the one hand she felt like a voyeur, on the other, she wanted to pull Lois away from Clark, wipe his lips from the taint of her kiss, and remind him of how THEY used to be.

They hadn't even heard or seen her they'd been so caught up in each other. They were circling each other around the couch. Lois was playfully trying to get away, while laughing and reminding Clark that she'd only agreed to come back with him, if she could get some work done. Clark in turn, was stalking her around the couch, and cutting off any retreat she was trying to make. He suddenly lunged, grabbed her around the waist, sat down on the couch and pulled her down onto his lap. She was giggling and when he made mock nuzzling noises against her neck, it caused her to laugh harder. But when he wrapped his arms around her, bent down and kissed her, her laughter stopped and she began kissing him back just as passionately. When he picked Lois up without lifting his mouth from hers, then brought her back down, with her knees either side, straddling himself, pulled her shirt loose and slid his hands under it, she had quietly turned away and walked down the stairs, dashing a hand across her eyes.

She had intruded on a deeply personal scene. She couldn't go back in there, she knew she couldn't, and had ended up walking around for 15 minutes. She was trying to decide what to do when Martha drove into the yard and asked her why she was outside. She lightly laughed and made a joke about Lois being there and not wanting to intrude. Martha just nodded with a knowing smile on her face, tooted the horn and called out for help to take the things inside.

They both seemed so casual when they came out onto the porch, that she'd never have known what was going on, if she hadn't nearly walked in on it. She said a quick hello, scooted inside, ran into the bathroom, quickly splashed water on her face, pinched her cheeks and then walked back downstairs.

All through lunch, she hoped that Clark wouldn't notice that her heart was racing at the knowledge she could no longer hide from. From the time they began dating, she hoped that at most they kissed, but now had to concede that their relationship had be of the most intimate nature.

Despite what she saw, she still expected the relationship to die out. It was obvious that Lois was just a phase that Clark would soon get over, but instead of breaking up, four months later they moved in together.

She tried to talk herself out of going back to Metropolis but knew that she had to see Clark THERE, where he lived and worked. Visits to Smallville could cover any number of problems, but in his own environment, with his guard down, he'd eventually reveal the moment he realised that Lois could never make him happy, and she wanted to be on hand for when he needed a friend.

Before they started dating, whenever Clark looked at Lois, his eyes held a combination of both longing and hurt. When they started dating he still watched her and his eyes glowed with happiness and hope. She couldn't understand that, if he was with Lois, why look at her with hope. She concluded that the relationship wasn't working but he was determined to keep trying. When they started living together the look on his face was one of satisfaction and possessiveness. That was the look she hated the most. But at least knew that when he and Lois parted ways, it would be over for good and Lois would never again be a threat.

On one visit to Metropolis, they had made plans to go out to dinner. However, after waiting 15 minutes she had had just pulled out her phone to call, when she spied Clark making his way towards her. He'd apologised for being late, told her that both Chloe and Lois had to work back and asked if she'd mind that it was just the two of them.

MIND, she'd been thrilled. When Clark suggested they get take away, go back to his apartment, and watch a movie after dinner, she agreed. It was just the two of them again, just like when they were dating. He called Lois to tell her of the change of plans, and she couldn't help but notice, he never asked for Lois' input, he just told her what they were doing, He'd asked for _**her**_ approval not Lois'.

She didn't understand how Lois could be so sure that nothing would happen between her and Clark while they were alone. Clark had loved her for a long time. At one time there was nothing he wouldn't do for her, so how could Lois feel so secure in leaving them alone together? Was Lois so sure of herself, of her hold on Clark, of her place in his life? He was a man, and she was the woman he'd always wanted. It seemed as if by leaving her alone with Clark, Lois was saying that their prior relationship was of no consequence and mattered little. That insulted her; their relationship had been everything once and would be again.

She couldn't help but hope that Clark wanted to be alone with her to tell her of his love, and his regret. After all they could have stayed in the restaurant; or he could have called her and cancelled, citing work as an excuse, but instead he'd suggested they go back to his apartment, where they'd be alone together. Maybe living with Lois had finally opened Clark's eyes to realisation that Lois was not the one he wanted. Maybe it was time to let him know that she still loved him and always would.

They had no sooner settled down to eat when Clark got a Superman call. She made it clear that he wasn't to worry, she'd just entertain herself by looking at the photos scattered about the room or watch TV until either he or Lois got back. As soon as he left, she peeked into the bedroom, her eyes determinedly avoiding the bed and looked around.

When she opened the closet, she found that she'd opened Lois's side by mistake, and was just about to close the door, when her eye caught an old red and gold flannel shirt lying on the floor. She bent down and retrieved it, it was one of his, one that he used to wear years ago and although soft from years of washing, was still in good shape, if a bit tattered. She rushed back into the living room and tucked it into the bottom of her purse.

She'd tried to pretend it was their apartment, hers and Clarks, that she belonged there and Lois was the interloper, but couldn't fool herself for long, the apartment had Lois stamped all over it.

She put the dinner back in the oven to keep warm, then spent her time looking at the photos, and smiled at both the group ones, and the ones with him and Lois winning their awards or candid shots taken of all of their friends and family. But when she saw the photo of them taken at Christmas, her heart ached.

The tree was twinkling in the background, he was lounging on the couch; Lois was half sitting next to him, half lying on his chest. His arm was around her waist and his fingers were entwined with hers. They were looking at each other and smiling. It was obvious the photo had been taken without their being aware.

She was watching TV when Clark came back. All through dinner she kept hoping he'd say something about his feelings, give her an opening to declare herself, but instead he just made small talk. They were sitting on the couch watching a movie when Lois returned an hour later. Their relationship was definitely cooler then when she'd almost walked in on them at the Kent house. Clark had smiled but he hadn't rushed over, or risen to kiss her in greeting, and Lois had smiled back, apologised for being late, and helped herself to some dinner before taking a seat in the adjoining chair in the living room.

Her mind couldn't concentrate on the movie. It was true that they weren't very demonstrative in public, but surely if their relationship was in any way passionate, they would have shown more emotion than just exchanging smiles when Lois arrived home. Instead their behaviour was of the most casual. It was evident their relationship was on its last legs; the excitement must have worn off and they were now just together out of habit.

All she could think about was that Clark would soon be free and he'd need a friend, someone who loved him. When the movie was over, she excused herself to go to the bathroom before taking her leave and had come back into the room, only to find them locked in an embrace in the kitchen alcove, and had to begrudgingly and bitterly concede, that what they showed in public, in no way reflected their private moments together.

Clark's arms were wrapped around Lois, and she in turn had one hand sitting on his shoulder and the other was resting against his cheek as they kissed. She'd stepped back into the hall, and this time before returning, made enough noise to remind them that they had company.

When she came back the second time, Lois' cheeks had a slight pink tinge, Clark had a bland expression on his face, and it looked like they were doing nothing more exciting than clearing the table, except their eyes gave them away. Lois was smiling and making small talk but her eyes kept darting around the room, and although Clark joined in on the conversation, his eyes hardly left Lois' face and the heat in them, although tamped down was noticeable, making her very aware that she was in the way and he was only waiting for her to leave. She refused to think about what they were doing the moment her back cleared the door.

She still expected them to break up, for them to get sick of each other once the thrill of their relationship wore off. For Lois to either become impatient with Clarks gentle nature, or for Clark to get fed up with Lois' constant bossiness.

They had nothing in common, anyone could see that. It had to be the sex. Clark was just a man when it came right down to it, and would be no match for Lois's flagrant behaviour. For now he would take what was so freely offered, but one day soon, Lois would find herself unceremoniously dumped.

So many times she imagined Clark coming to her, telling her he'd made a mistake, that he loved her and wanted her back, and promising that this time they'd get it right. So when she learned that Clark and Lois were engaged, she'd been both shocked and devastated. She had smiled at Mrs Kent, pretended to be happy for them, made all the right noises, then had gone home and cried. How could he do this, he always said it was HER that he was meant to be with, HER that he'd only ever love. She thought that he'd get Lois out of his system, and then she would be put behind them, in the place of bad mistakes and bad choices.

Once she calmed down and the tears had stopped, she realised that she was being stupid, hysterical and was able to see the truth with clear mind for the first time since her marriage to Lex ended.

She had hurt Clark deeply by marrying Lex, and clearly the only way he could cope with that was to convince himself that he didn't love her anymore. She didn't doubt he wanted Lois, but sex wasn't love and would never last in the long run. He was confused, honestly believing that he loved Lois, and she was taking advantage of his naiveté, his kind nature by holding onto him.

She knew what he was going through, having suffered the same thing herself. Hadn't she believed that she cared enough about Lex to build a life with him, hadn't she thought they'd be happy, and hadn't Clark tried to stop and save her from making such a huge mistake.

Just as Lex had taken advantage of her, Lois was now doing the same thing to Clark. Lois may not be evil, but what she was doing was just plain wrong. Lois could never make Clark happy. She was all wrong for him, he needed someone who was understanding, patient, someone would put him first, not their career. Lois would never do that.

She wasn't surprised that Lois would do all she could to hold onto Clark. He was a good man and she couldn't do better than having him as a husband. She would know that his guilt would keep him married to her, even after he realised he'd made a mistake and married the wrong woman. So Lois was now trying to tie him to her before giving him the chance to step back and reflect, to realise that their relationship wasn't what he really wanted.

Clark had convinced himself that he loved Lois, and just as she hadn't listened when he tried to stop her from marrying Lex, he wouldn't listen to her now.

Well they'd been kept apart long enough because of stupidity and pride, because of other people's interference. They had lost years together and when he returned from his training, he'd convinced himself their love wasn't real. His marriage was doomed, just as hers had been, and after it was over, his guilt for turning to Lois, would keep them apart for even longer. She had had enough. They had both hurt each other, but no more.

She and Clark belonged together. He always told her that, hell he'd told everyone that, and Clark wasn't a liar, or a man who didn't know his own mind. Clark had told her over and over that he loved her, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, that she was everything to him. So she knew that she was his one true love, she HAD screwed up, but now it was time to fix things.

She had never used her wicka power for personal gain…..much. She hardly ever used it at all. If a customer was debating on whether or not to buy one of her paintings, she might give them a little nudge. But that really wasn't wrong, after all, they bought a beautiful painting and she made a sale.

But now, she would use whatever magic she could, she would get Clark back, she would save him from making the same hideous mistake that she herself had made. But instead of just fixing things from now, she would fix everything. She would undo the mistakes of the past, time would be re-written and she and Clark would never have been apart. It would be as if the past eight years had never happened, or they would have happened, but everything would be changed for the better.

To this day, she didn't know what made her remember her ancestor Isabelle years ago, maybe it was homesickness, maybe it was walking into that first fake wicka shop, but whatever it was, she was thoroughly grateful for it.

She'd looked into all the love spells she could find, discarding one and then the other, ensuring that the right one was picked, the smallest thing could go wrong and so everything had to be precise. She was extra careful, all the ingredients needed were of the best quality, but there wasn't much time, the engagement party was in a week, and even though time would be changed, she also knew she could never tolerate attending their engagement party, pretending to be happy for them, while her heart yearned for Clark and hate continued to build inside her for Lois.

Then last night everything was ready, all the preparations were done, she had performed the spell and then gone to bed expecting her life to have changed when she woke up. Only to find the same bleak existence, that she had lived with for so long. She had done something wrong, taken a misstep somewhere and she had to find out what it was and fix it.

***

When Lois saw the Talon, she went in and was pleasantly surprised at the changes. The art work was definitely new and really very good, it had been renovated to accommodate those wanting to eat a meal, but overall it was the same Talon and she was happy. Here was something familiar, here was something that time hadn't marched over, and here she would stay for a little while, just having a coffee and by the look of it, one of Mrs Kent's muffins.

She had been enjoying her coffee when a voice spoke at her elbow. When she turned around, she was surprised to see Lana Lang. No one had told her that Lana was in town; she looked just as beautiful, but older.

"Hi Lois mind if I join you?"

"No, that'd be great."

"So, looking forward to your engagement party next week?"

"Yeah, my engagement party, you bet."

"You don't sound very excited, I thought you and Clark being engaged would…..I don't know make you happier?" Lana noticed Lois shied away when she mentioned the engagement and wondered what had happened. She could only hope that Lois had changed her mind, but didn't see that as a possibility, more than likely it was just nerves.

"Um….yeah, not so much, look can we talk about something else?" Lois asked.

"Of course, but if there's anything on your mind, or that I can help you with, please know you can talk to me. I was engaged myself once upon a time and although things didn't work out, I do remember how nervous I was."

"Ok, here's the deal, I really really need someone to talk to, but I don't want to do it here, do you have somewhere private we can go?"

"My office, it's just up the stairs." Now she was really curious. Had Lois changed her mind? Maybe she didn't need spells and magic. If Lois had changed her mind, she might be able to catch Clark on the rebound.

"Your office, you own the Talon?"

"Yes, but you know that already."

"That's one of the things I need to talk about."

"Ok."

Lois was once again surprised. The apartment looked different. Lana had used the space thoughtfully, there was the office space with a lounge area set up, and looking through the bedroom door, she spied a workshop with an easel and all sorts of artist paraphernalia. After making themselves comfortable on the couch Lois started to speak.

"Ok, I know this is going to sound really out there, but please let me finish before you start calling for a straight jacket. I swear I'm not making this up, who'd want to….ok, here goes, I'm not the Lois that you know. I mean you do know me, or you did eight years ago, but I'm not the Lois you knew yesterday."

"I'm sorry, I'm not getting what you mean." Lana replied with a light frown.

Lois explained the situation, Lana listened to everything she said and couldn't believe what had happened. She knew that she'd done something wrong, but this, how on earth had this happened? She knew that she was responsible, coincidence wasn't even an option, but how to fix it, to make it right, would need to be looked into.

When Lois finally ran down, she turned and smiled sympathetically "So I'm guessing marrying Clark isn't something you want?"

"God no, look Clark's a nice guy, but he's just not who I expected to end up with. And I know it's selfish and mean but I just don't want to hear anymore of the so called 'love athon' we've apparently adopted, rather than the 'let's bug each other until the other cries uncle' that we usually engage in."

"I see."

"You know, I was shocked as hell when I found out I was engaged to him. I guess I always expected that he'd stop you from marrying Lex and the two of would run of together. But I'm guessing that since you said things didn't work out, that you did marry Lex?" Lois enquired delicately.

"Yes and you're half right. Clark did try to stop me from getting married, remember my engagement party…" She asked with a half smile.

"No, sorry, I was juiced up on some love junk at the time, so have no memory of what an idiot I made of myself that day, thank god." Lois shook her and grimaced.

"Oh…well, Clark kidnapped me from my engagement party and told me to marry him instead."

"Shocker."

"Huhm, anyway I made the big mistake of marrying Lex but we didn't last very long and please don't say you're sorry, because I'm not." She said with a moue of distaste.

"Ok, look Lana, I know this is a pretty personal question, but why didn't you and Clark get back together after your marriage to Lex broke up?"

"Clark didn't want me; he cared about me, he still does but he didn't want us to try again, and I really can't blame him, I hurt him terribly." She shrugged.

"I see, look while talking with you, I had an idea and I know I'm probably being incredibly nosey, but I want to ask you a question. Please be honest with me and I swear to keep it just between us." Lois had an idea and if she could pull it off, then maybe everyone could have a happy ending.

"I'd have to hear the question first."

"Ok, is there a part of you, no matter how small that wished things had worked out for you and Clark; that you were still together? Basically what I'm asking is if there is any part of you that still loves Clark Kent?"

"Yes, a part of me will always love Clark and I wish things could have been different, but I've learnt that dwelling on the past doesn't help. Besides it's too late for Clark and me now, he's in love with you and I think we had our chance and blew it, there's just too much in the way for us to be together, on both our sides." She didn't feel the need to tell Lois how she really felt; her feelings were her own business. Besides, with Lois not being happy with the engagement, maybe she could use that to her own advantage.

"I see, so you think that even if I wasn't in the picture, you and Clark wouldn't get back together?" Please, please let me have misinterpreted what she just said, Lois prayed.

"No, I don't. Clark and I are ancient history, and besides even though I've had other boyfriends before and after him, he's still the first boy I ever slept with, so that will always make him special to me, but the feelings I have for him now are just ones of nostalgia, you know?" she sincerely hoped Lois was buying the load she was spreading.

"Yeah, I know." Lois sighed in resignation "Well anyway, tell me what you've been doing with yourself for the last eight years"

The two ladies chatted for another forty five minutes before Lois got up to leave.

"Um look, I know this is probably coming out of the blue, but do you want to come to the Kent's for dinner tonight?" she asked.

"I'd like that, but why are you asking?"

"I don't know, I guess I just want another person around, hopefully then all the attention won't be focused on me. I know I'm bound to be the main topic of discussion and I honestly don't mind that, as long as ALL we're talking about is how to get me back and NOT on how much Clark and I love each other."

"Hmm, I see, you're hoping I'll be a buffer to stop any romantic conversations coming up."

"Yeah, I doubt if Clark will try to corner me or anything, that's not his style, but I figure the more people around the better, y'know?"

"Ok, but you'll have to let them know you invited me, I don't want them to think I invited myself." Lana replied laughing.

"No problem, but not having an invitation never stopped me. See you tonight at 6." Lois smiled before walking out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Just a quick note: I made an error in the last chapter when I wrote that Lana lost her parents when she was six, I meant to type in 4; apologies for that. Linda

**Chapter 6**

_Clark 2015_

Clark was worried, Lois had been gone for a few hours, and although he hadn't gone looking for her, he'd kept an ear on her heartbeat. He had to know that she was ok, but he didn't want her to think that he was stalking her.

He knew that a lot had been thrown at her this morning, things she just wasn't prepared for; waking up in the future, him not being human and them being engaged. But it was the engagement that seemed to cause her the most distress.

He could understand that. If his younger self had had ended up here, he wouldn't have been happy to know he was intending to marry anyone other than Lana. At that point in his life, he'd never thought of marriage with anyone except for her, and would categorically refuse to believe that he could ever love anyone but her. He'd held tight to his boyish dreams for so long; that even though he was 19, in many ways, he'd sill been such a child.

And Lois, she hadn't thought of marriage at all, much less to him. So no matter which of them had ended up here, the news wouldn't have been well received, but because it _**was**_ Lois, and he knew how their relationship had developed, he couldn't help feeling hurt.

He wanted to help her, he wanted to talk to and hold her, but she didn't want that, she wasn't his Lois, so any privileges he'd gained in their relationship were now gone.

It was funny to think that something that had happened eight years ago, was now coming back to bite him on the ass. It was truly ironic. Back then, although he'd worried about Lois, and was glad when she woke up, it was Lana that dominated his thoughts and yet now, here he was seeing the situation from the opposite side, and Lois was all that mattered.

It was weird to think that somewhere, sometime, he was right now probably sitting next to Lois's bed in the Medical Centre, or running around Smallville trying to find answers to what was wrong with her, all the while trying not to think about Lana's pending marriage, and yet at the same time, Lois was here, awake and aware and he was still helpless.

He wanted to go back in time, kick his younger self's ass and tell him that the woman lying in that bed, was the one person he wouldn't be able to live without. That Lana wasn't his destiny, Lana wasn't who he was meant to be with; Lana was just a teenage crush that he'd get over. It was Lois he needed, Lois who was vital to his existence; Lois who was the love of his life.

God, how had this happened, why the hell did he let it go, why did they all just let it go, if they had looked into this years ago, regardless of how Lois felt, they might now know the answers. They could send her back and he could have his Lois back; the Lois that loved him. Instead he was left with a younger, very confused and not happy Lois. A Lois who only knew about their life from what he'd told her, but she hadn't experienced it, hadn't lived it and he could see in her eyes that she also didn't want to accept it.

He was scared. Lois was everything to him, EVERYTHING. He remembered when Lana had been that, but he'd realised years ago, that his love for Lana was based on fear. Fear of being different, fear of growing up and fear of facing his destiny. He'd wanted to be normal so badly when he was young, and really what was more normal than wanting to be on the football team, and falling for the girl next door, who grew up to be the pretty popular cheer leader in high school. His 'love' for Lana had been nothing more than falling in love with the typical ideal cliché.

Their relationship and his feelings for Lana had been built up in his head to such an extent, that he honestly believed that he loved her and they were meant to be together.

Long before he'd gotten to know her, he'd had pretend conversations with her in his head, but the Lana of his dreams was very different to the girl that really existed. Anytime she did or said something that he didn't like or agreed with, he ignored it, pushed it away, or blamed someone else for her attitude. He didn't want to admit that the Lana he loved, had only ever existed in his imagination.

Even more embarrassing, was the knowledge that after getting to know Lana, he still only saw what he wanted to see, simply because he didn't want to be jarred back to reality, and face the fact that he'd wasted years pining for something that had never existed.

Lois had hit that one dead on; he'd fallen in love with a face. His feelings for Lana had been as deep as puddle. Hindsight was a wonderful thing, too damn bad it didn't help you at the time.

He wanted to cringe when he thought of how much and how often he spoke of his love for Lana to Lois, he'd made such a fool of himself. Why was it that only with age comes wisdom? He'd been an idiot and could only thank god that he and Lana hadn't gotten married. He knew it was unfair, but he also knew that if had they gotten married, and then he'd met Lois again years later, he still would have fallen in love with her and resented Lana for being there, for being an obstacle in his desire to being with Lois.

But by far the biggest regret of his so called love for Lana was bringing her back to life. He didn't blame her, it had been his decision, but it was a wrong one. He always said that he wanted to be human, normal and yet the first chance he was given to prove that, he'd made a complete liar out of himself. Even though Jor-El had told him they weren't gods, he hadn't listened and he'd played god callously with people's lives. He didn't take time to think or reflect, and instead of considering whether he had the right to make such a monumental decision, he accepted and turned back time. That was a mistake, one that took him a long time to come to terms with. His mom had lost her husband and he had lost his father.

When he finally left for his training, he hadn't gone because he felt it was time or because he felt duty bound, he'd gone because he'd been tempted to try again with Lana after her divorce from Lex.

Lois had left Smallville and was travelling around the world. She'd gone shortly after Lana's marriage and her reasons for doing so had started to play on his mind. When she came to see him to say goodbye, he'd been surprised and sad to know that she was leaving. She explained that she wanted more out of life than just a job at the Inquisitor. She wanted to do more and see more and hopefully become more than just a college dropout, so decided to go out and find her place in the world. He envied her that, they way she let nothing sway her, but just followed her heart. That made him realise that he also wanted more out of life then a never ending routine of farm work, and playing heart tag with Lana.

He had been so ….smitten by Lana that she was pretty much on his mind all the time. But after everything had been resolved, and her marriage to Lex was over, he just couldn't feel the same way about her.

He'd changed, he couldn't look at Lana with rose coloured glasses anymore; he'd finally seen her for what she was. She was demanding, and manipulative, she could be incredibly thoughtless unless something was in it for her, and she was also secretive when it suited her purposes. However, even knowing all of this he'd still been tempted to try with her again, even knowing that it would be a huge mistake, one that could be even more damaging then their previous relationship had been. What stopped him was the knowledge that he didn't want to go backwards, he wanted to move forward with his life. So he left, it was hard, it was even harder to say goodbye to her, especially when she tried to talk him around, tried to hint they could try again. However, he'd made up his mind, and for once thank god he'd stuck to his guns and left, which had turned out to be the best decision he'd ever made.

Once away from Lana and Smallville, he'd been able to forget her pretty fast. His training took up all of his time, learning to hone his powers, learning about Krypton and his people, his father had a lot to teach him and he was sorry that he'd resisted for so long. He learnt to use his powers in the most constructive way, and also that he was here on Earth to help, not rule. He'd been so wrong before and had been bitterly ashamed of his past actions. He learnt about human suffering and to look beyond his own concerns and was finally able to accept that he was the last Son of Krypton. Everyone on his home planet had perished, except for himself and his cousin Kara, before his training he didn't realise just how selfish he'd been.

He was still different, he always would be, but he was no longer ashamed of it, no longer hated it, or himself. He now felt proud of his heritage, knowing that with his powers he could help those who couldn't help themselves, and finally came to understand that, was what both of his fathers had only ever wanted from him.

After his training was over he decided to tour the world, he hadn't gone in for the fashionable places, he wanted to see the real world, and felt that the only way to truly understand despair, was to see it up close. He helped people whenever he could, and would often have to leave quickly when anyone became suspicious of him, but still found that helping and offering assistance when possible, was the most satisfying feeling he'd ever experienced.

While travelling he finished his college education by correspondence and attained a degree in Journalism. He'd never thought of being a Journalist, it wasn't something he particularly wanted to do while growing up and although he'd worked at the Torch in high school; it wasn't something that he could say had ever called to him. However, after travelling and seeing the way some people were forced to live, the squalor, the wars and famine, he knew that journalism was what he wanted to do. He wanted to expose corrupt governments and help people, if only by writing about what was happening and bringing it to the public's awareness.

When he came back to America, he applied for a position at The Daily Planet, it was the greatest newspaper in the world and he wanted to work for the best.

So he applied and was hired and Perry White told him that although his writing was a little rough and he was green, he showed definite promise. He was thrilled when he landed a job at the Planet, he knew Chloe worked there and was very much looking forward to seeing his friend again.

He also knew that Lois worked at the Planet, he'd read a few of her articles and was impressed by her writing. He was happy that she'd finally found her niche, and although the two of them hadn't always gotten along, they were friends and he was looking forward to seeing her again if only to tease her.

The first thing he did was to find Chloe for a quick hello, huggy reunion and told her about his job. He asked about Lois, was told she was out of the office and the two of them made plans to have lunch together to catch up. His job started straight away, so his morning was taken up organising his employment paperwork, getting a desk and having a computer set up and before he knew it, it was lunch time and Chloe was dragging him off to the deli around the corner.

It was wonderful catching up, she filled him in on her work and life and he'd returned the favour telling her about his training and travelling. Of course she couldn't help but tease him about being a reporter, after saying that wasn't what he wanted to do for so long. It was fun and relaxing and he really enjoyed it.

When he got back from lunch, he was called into Perry's office, where he saw Lois again for the first time, and couldn't believe that the beautiful confident woman in front of him was the same Lois he'd known years before.

She didn't recognise him at first but a few minutes later the penny dropped and she'd been glad to see him also. She was less pleased when Perry assigned him to be her partner. He tried not to be hurt, and could understand the argument put forward that she didn't want to baby-sit anyone, but Perry basically told her to be a team player and suck it up.

As soon as he saw Lois again he knew that she was the woman that he'd been waiting for, and couldn't understand how he'd missed it years before. However, it was clear that although she saw her old sparring partner, she did not see a man that interested her romantically.

After work he flew to Smallville to see his mom for the first time in nearly two years. He'd come to see her on a quick in and out visit before touring the world, but knowing that he was back in America to stay, made this visit all the sweeter.

His mom and he had a wonderful reunion and she'd been so proud of him for landing a job at the world renowned Daily Planet, and was equally glad that her son was not only back to stay, but would be working with two women, both of whom she cared about a great deal.

He couldn't hide anything from Martha Kent, his excitement of working at the Planet and especially with Lois was transparent, and his mom had a smile on her face the whole time. He hadn't needed to tell her of his feelings, she'd known. She mentioned that she visited with Lois and Chloe in Metropolis every now and then, but because Lois was tied up with work most times and couldn't get away to visit herself; would often call in between times just to keep in touch. He'd been delighted that Lois and his mom's relationship hadn't waned with the years.

A few days later Superman was created. Funnily enough Superman had been Lois' idea, he'd wrecked a business suit helping someone the second day on the job, and she told him to bring a spare change of clothes to work, and that was how he came up with the idea of wearing a costume to help people while still maintaining his privacy as Clark Kent.

She even named him Superman and in an ironic twist of fate, fell for the super hero like a ton of bricks but saw Clark only as a friend. That frustrated him, but he had to admit he used Superman to become close to her romantically on occasion. He was ashamed of it, but the only time she would let him be close to her like that, was when he was in his Superman persona. Clark, she considered one of her best friends, she cared about him, she even loved him; but only as a friend.

Over the next few months, their relationship deepened and he quickly learnt that when it came to Lois, the cliché rang true; she wasn't only beautiful on the outside. He'd know that years before, Lois wasn't a person you could ignore, but with maturity he could finally seen in Lois, all the things he'd missed when he was younger.

She was incredibly loyal, she loved life, she was an exciting and passionate woman but she was still essentially the same Lois. She was still stubborn and talked too much, she was still pushy, rude and loud, still impatient and didn't suffer fools gladly but now that he was older and more mature, he wasn't offended by it or impatient with it.

A few months later when Lana called, he'd been happy to hear from her. Despite everything they were friends, and he still cared about her. When she'd all but hinted for them to go out to dinner, he accepted. Oh, he hadn't felt any of his old feelings, his heart well and truly belonged to Lois in a way that Lana had never touched it, but he was still pleased to spend the evening catching up with her.

When Lana first told him that she knew he was Superman he was afraid. Was she going to blame him for her parents deaths or for lying to her, but she quickly let him know that she would never betray him, and that she thought he was wonderful. He was kind of embarrassed by the praise, he was used it to from the world and Lois, but the look in Lana's eyes made him uncomfortable. He hadn't been stupid or too trusting this time, he'd listened to her pulse and heart rate and he'd watched her very carefully, and as he was no longer distracted by the crush he'd had when younger, he knew his feelings of trust in her, weren't from a lack of blindness.

However, when she hinted that maybe they could be together again and started talking about the life they could have together, he had to stop her. He wasn't interested in travelling down that path again, and going by what she'd said of her life, she hadn't found the happiness that she'd always craved.

It was obvious that all she wanted was something familiar, and instead of remembering their past relationship in its true state, full of demands, tears and built on childish dreams, she now saw it a lot more rosier than it really had been. He hadn't wanted to hurt her, so at first tried to ignore her subtle hints but when that failed, he'd had to let her know that them getting back together was not what he wanted. He pointed out that their love wasn't built on any real feelings but on expectations, and that although he cared about her and always would, she had to find her happiness elsewhere. She seemed to take it ok, almost shrugging in an 'I tried' way and he was glad that he hadn't wounded her unnecessarily.

The next day when Lois asked him how his date with Lana went, he made it clear it wasn't a date, just two friends getting together to catch up. Lois didn't seem to care if he was trying to get back with Lana or not, but she was surprised that he didn't seem interested in pursuing his old flame.

Of course, Lois had no idea that he was in love with her. So many times he wanted to ask her out, but shied away when it was clear she just thought of him as a friend. He'd never had to work very hard to get a girls attention, even Lana, although she went out with other boys, and kept him dangling playing the 'come here, no go away game' she'd still let him know that she was interested. In subtle ways, sure, but she'd done it. Not Lois, to her, he was a friend, she didn't see him sexually, she didn't see him romantically, he was just Clark, someone she knew and liked…..as a friend.

He'd been back six months before he got up the nerve to ask Lois out and she said no.

They were at his apartment working on a story, he'd tried a couple of times to get the words out, but each time she looked at him, his courage had failed and instead he offered her a snack or a drink. She must have thought he was trying to fatten her up, the way he kept trying to push food on her. Then just as she was gathering her things to leave, he finally got up the nerve to ask, and his heart had been in his mouth the whole time.

"Umm Lois, I was wondering if you'd like to go out to dinner or a movie some time?" He'd finally done it, he'd asked, then held his breath.

"Go out?" It was obvious by the way she asked that she hadn't expected the question.

"Yeah, you know, like on a date." Please say yes, please say yes.

"A date….. uh look Clark, it's really sweet of you to ask, but no, I'm sorry." She was clearly embarrassed and trying to look at anything but him.

"Oh, well that's ok, just thought I'd ask." He hoped that he didn't sound or look disappointed, he hoped that she didn't pity him. God he couldn't stand it if she pitied him.

"Ok, well goodnight, see you tomorrow and don't forget to bring the files in." Then she opened the door and left with a careless wave in farewell, unaware that she'd dashed all his hopes.

"Yeah, I won't, goodnight Lois." Damn, damn, damn, damn. Ok, so obviously she didn't have any idea of how he felt, but why couldn't she just have said yes. Idiot!!! Because she loves Superman of course. She's in love with a man that doesn't exist. Superman is only the powers and costume, why couldn't she see that, why couldn't she see that the man behind the cape was her friend, someone who loved her and would do anything for her. Why could she only see Clark as a friend?

He'd been crushed by her rejection and unable to relax. He loved her, how the hell did he not see her before, and why could she not see him now.

He'd gone into work the next day and it was as if he'd never asked her out. She never brought it up, never referred to it, never tried to play coy games with him. As far as she was concerned he asked, she said no and that was the end of the matter. Not so for him.

He spoke to Chloe and his mom about his feelings for Lois. He loved her and wanted her to love him, and quite often they would be on the receiving end of one of his 'Lois' talks.

He told Chloe about asking Lois out and the subsequent rejection, and she'd tried to cheer him up. They'd been at his apartment a few nights later, Lois was out of town, so it was just the two of them.

"Hey Clark, got any coke, need something with this popcorn?"

"Yeah, just a sec, by the way, I finally asked Lois out the other night." He told her before getting up and going to the fridge.

"So what'd she say?" Chloe was almost bouncing in her seat, clearly eager for the details.

"She said no." He replied shrugging his shoulders and passing over the drink before retaking his seat.

"Did she give a reason?"

"No, but let's face it, she's in love with Superman, so I guess the reasons pretty obvious huh." He couldn't help but say scornfully.

"So, why don't you just tell her you're Superman?"

Chloe had been pushing him to tell Lois, but he couldn't, and she just didn't understand "I can't do that Chlo, I've told you before, I want her to want me for me, not for what I can do."

"God not again; Clark, Lois loves Superman because he's selfless and does what he can putting his life on the line saving people, you know that." She replied in irritation.

"I know, but I want her to want Clark Kent. I want her to see that Superman is just an ordinary guy underneath, I don't want her to love Superman." He did but he wanted her to love Clark too.

"Really, then tell me, just **why** does Superman play up to her?" She asked pointedly.

"I don't." They both he knew he was lying, and he looked away shame faced.

"Oh yes you do, I've seen you, hell the worlds seen you. It's pretty obvious to all and sundry that Lois Lane is pretty special to Superman. Why do you think she keeps hanging on, you haven't exactly pushed her away as Superman, and you know it." She replied without pause.

"God, I know your right. Pretty pathetic huh, but it's the only way I can get close to her. As Clark I'm her friend, but I also know there are boundaries that can't be crossed, but as Superman, she treats me so differently." He was pitiful and he knew it but was willing to take anything he could get.

"I know, but you can't exactly blame her for loving Superman, when it's pretty clear, she's special to him."

"I know Chloe, I know okay, but what else can I do?"

"Well maybe you can try not to confuse her, I mean, as Clark you act one way and as Superman you act another."

"I don't act that different as Clark."

"Oh yes you do, as Clark it's obvious to everyone how you feel, except for Lois, and it's equally obvious that you're scared to cross the line. You treat her the same way you did when we were all in Smallville together. The only difference is that neither of you pretend you aren't friends now, but if you never try, you'll never get anywhere."

"I already tried Chloe and she shot me down."

"So you're just going to give up. Ok, that's fine, but I don't want to hear any whining from you when Lois starts dating again, and one day she will, you know." She stated unsympathetically.

"I'm not giving up. I don't think I could even if I want to. Lois is such a big part of me. I need her Chlo, and not just as Clark, she really does give me the strength to keep going as Superman. You remember when I first came to Metropolis, Lex did all those 'experiments' on Superman to see how fast he could fly in and save the day. People could have been hurt, Lois was hurt, thank god it wasn't serious but it could have been and then Lex told me…. Superman that if he didn't leave, he was going to keep doing things to cause accidents that could get people killed and then I'd be responsible." He'd known Lex had changed, that had been obvious even back in Smallville, but he couldn't believe how far his former friend had fallen.

"I remember, the bastard. I also remember you decided to give up being Superman and just try to help out as Clark when you could."

"Yeah, I figured that as Clark I'd try to help but be as unobtrusive as possible, I couldn't live with myself if people died because of my stubbornness to stay. You and mom helped me Chlo, you really did, you both told me that I shouldn't let Lex run Superman out of town, that I should stick it out, but I just couldn't do that, so I packed away my suit and for a couple of days Superman was nowhere to be seen."

"I understood Clark, I really did. I was disappointed, but not in you, just in the position Lex had forced you into." Chloe patted his hand and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I know, mom said the same thing to me, and it's obvious that I did change my mind but I never told you why, did I?" he asked.

"No, I just figured you decided, to hell with Lex and that you weren't going to let him win." She replied.

"No that wasn't it. I was at the Planet, Lois was there and we were watching the news. The TV stations were all showing different disasters around the world, a train disaster, a plane crash, a hurricane, that kind of thing. Anyway Lois said that she wished Superman was around. I asked her why, what was the point, he couldn't have stopped all of that from happening; so what good was he? She replied that not even Superman could be everywhere at once, that what he couldn't do didn't matter, that just the idea of Superman was enough, someone to build a few hopes around, and that whatever he COULD do was enough. God, I fell in love with her all over again just hearing that. She never loses faith in him Chlo, never. I just wish she could feel that way about me." He finished despondently.

"I know and maybe one day she will, you eventually got Lana by hanging in there remember?" She smiled.

"That's totally different and you know it. Even when Lana was going out with other guys and telling me we were just friends, she still led me to believe that one day we'd be together. She kept blowing hot and cold, constantly keeping me dangling and hoping, I was just too infatuated to see the manipulation that was going on. Lois doesn't do that." He replied with a quick head shake.

"Well in a way she does Clark, Lois does treat you differently to her other men friends. She flirts with you and teases you, and she knows that you'll always be there for her."

"But we both know she only does that because she thinks I'm safe. To her we're just Lois and Clark, friends, it hasn't crossed her mind that I could be interested in her because she's not interested in me, so she feels …"

"Safe, I know but she must know that you're interested now, I mean you asked her out right?"

"No, she's ignoring it, you know Lois, she doesn't see what she doesn't want to see. I think she's convinced herself that my asking her out was an aberration, so not something she has to deal with" He replied with a grimace "But at the same time it's the best thing really, if she knew how I felt…"

"She'd do everything she could to push you away. I'm sorry Clark, maybe one day……" She said with a smile of commiseration.

The conversation drifted off after that, and they turned the movie back on, but it was far from the first or last conversation they had about Lois. In fact it was just one more in a long long line.

He knew his love for Lois wasn't built on made up day-dreams, Lois wasn't perfect and he was infinitely glad for it. Having someone around who was perfect would soon get old. She brought colour to his life and to those around her, and she truly cared, not just about making headlines, although that was on the top of her list, but in exposing injustice and shady deals to the public. She absolutely hated crime and dirty deals done in the dark, and would often put her life in danger, to expose those that betrayed the trust the public had put in them.

Although they had different ways of reporting, their writing styles balanced each other out, she liked reporting hard news, crime and crooked people. He preferred writing about things that affected everyday people, like exposing a nursing home that was abusing its elderly residents in some way. But regardless, most times they got the story and soon became known as the 'Hottest Team in Town'. He'd been really proud of that, this was something he could do that wasn't because of his powers; this was something he could do that didn't involve Superman, and was therefore all the more special to him.

They won their first joint Kerth Award 10 months after being partnered. He'd learnt a lot from Lois about the reporting game, and couldn't help but feel upon seeing both their names on the award that it was a sign. Lois didn't believe in all that 'mystical sign' crap as she called it, but he did. He may have run from it when he was younger, but he was now more than ready to embrace any hint, manifestation or premonition that they belonged together. Of course he didn't tell her that, he never even alluded to it. If he made even one step in letting her know how he felt, he would lose her for good. She wasn't the type of woman who got off on having a friend be in love with her, it made her uncomfortable and she would find a way to keep him at a distance.

Almost six months to day he first asked her out, he tried again and again she said no. He first felt her out regarding her feelings for Superman, he noted that she no longer seemed to worship the super hero and hoped that finally she'd give him a chance, he was wrong. This time, they were at her apartment, just relaxing and watching movies. She'd gone into the kitchen to get some more snacks, when he decided to open the conversation.

"Lois, you don't seem as ……enamoured with Superman as you used to be, have you given up on him?" He thought she had, but needed to hear her say it.

"Yeah, besides I kinda figured out that my feelings for Superman weren't real, he was ……safe." She shrugged and gave him a half smile in embarrassment.

"Safe, what'd you mean safe?" Now he was baffled, he always thought his powers could put people in danger, and she thought Superman was SAFE.

"Well, let's just say that I've had a number of relationships that didn't work out, and when Superman came along, I fell for him pretty hard. But my feelings for him weren't real. At the time I believed they were, but I realise now that my feelings for Superman were the kind you have for a rock star. Nothing could ever come of them, so I was safe. I couldn't be hurt by them or disappointed because another relationship had failed, and at the same time, it kept me from forming any other attachments. Don't get me wrong, I think Superman's great, he's incredibly decent, and trustworthy, caring and all of that but he's not real, Superman was just a fantasy, you know what I mean?" She joined him on the couch and smiled before handing him his soft drink and placing a bowl of potato chips on the coffee table.

"Yeah, I do; sort of how I felt about Lana when growing up. She was this ideal I thought I wanted. And she was safe, because she was a known quantity at a time when I was scared about growing up, and what life had in store for me, but instead of not acting on my feelings, I made an idiot of myself declaring to everyone that I was in love with her." Now it was his turn to be embarrassed.

"Don't beat yourself up about it; most people go through the same thing. First love is hard, and at the time you think you'll never get over it, but you survive and most times you tend to learn from the experience." She laughed lightly and patted his hand in commiseration.

"Sounds like you went through it yourself."

"I did, how do you think I knew what to say to you when you were going through the same thing? Although I have to admit, you had me pretty convinced that your feelings for her were genuine, if only because of the 'Heathcliffe crying for Cathy' aura that you projected. But I knew that you'd moved on when you were so casual about your date with her…." she paused before continuing "…I think I realised then, that it just took you longer than most teenagers to get over their first love. But of course, back then you didn't want to hear my sage advice and didn't listen, but yeah, I knew." She grinned at him.

"Want to talk about your own experience?" He was genuinely curious, but also desperate to get of the subject of his embarrassing teenage idiocy.

"God no, that was a million years and a life time ago, totally not interested in dredging up teenage hearts and flowers."

They had both laughed then; it felt good to laugh, at what had at one time been so all consuming and serious.

"Um well I was thinking, would you like to, I don't know, go out sometime, maybe?" one thought kept churning in his mind like a mantra stuck on replay 'please, please say yes this time'.

"Are you asking me out on a date again?"

"Yes."

"Clark, look I really like you and I enjoy working with you and spending our leisure time together but I'm sorry, us dating is not a good idea. Most likely it would ruin both our friendship and our professional relationship, and I just don't think it's worth it."

"It's just a date Lois, I'm not asking for your hand." Why couldn't she say yes, was he so objectionable, they were friends, she liked him, what did he have to do to get her to say yes, for god sakes.

"I know, but what would happen if say… afterwards I wanted us to keep dating and you didn't or vice versa, hurt feelings that's what. It's just not something I think we should explore. You're a great guy, and there's more than one woman interested in you at the Planet, you should ask one of them out?"

"But I don't know them, I know you."

"Ahh, I see….Clark, you're never going to get to know them unless you take the chance. You're only asking me because of propinquity, and that can make people do some really stupid things. Do you really think it's a good idea to go out with someone you know, just because you're scared to get your feet wet in the dating arena?"

"No, but do I enjoy your company, it's not just propinquity." When she looked at him, she only saw a friend, so assumed that he **only** wanted to date her, because he was hoping to build a relationship on the closeness they already shared, being too afraid to try with anyone unknown. He didn't know whether to laugh, cry or bang his head against the wall.

"I enjoy yours too, but that's no reason to start dating. We're friends and we always will be, no matter who either of us dates ok?"

"Sure." He smiled and pretended to enjoy the rest of the movie but couldn't. Twice now he'd asked her out and twice now he'd been rejected. They were best friends, he, Chloe and Lois, and he didn't want to push, but he knew that romantically he didn't want anyone else, only her. They laughed, they argued, they enjoyed each other's company and he was disheartened that she didn't want to take the next step, or to even give him a chance.

They spent a lot of time together with Chloe and would quite often find themselves at each other's apartments working together, helping each other or just enjoying their down time together.

Then his mom had asked him to come to Smallville and bring Lois and Chloe with him. They hadn't all been back together since his return and with the long weekend coming up, it gave them the perfect opportunity to kick back and relax. So they'd gone and it had been great. Lana had come for dinner, and the four of them had enjoyed each other's company. It was almost like when they were kids again, except this time there was no drama and tears, just fun.

After that weekend, the three of them tried to visit at least once a month. His mom loved having them all there and she clearly had a special place in her heart reserved for Lois. She always encouraged him not to give up; she wanted them to be together almost as much as he did. She'd sing Lois' praises and he'd tell her it wasn't necessary, he was fully aware of all of Lois' good qualities and he found her not so nice, social niceties endearing too. He was a complete sap. His heart was well and truly caught, he couldn't give up on her…. on them even if he wanted to, and he didn't.

Whenever he and Lana were alone, she'd ask how he was, and he'd talk about Lois and how he felt about her. At first he felt funny talking about it with her, but she'd made it clear their relationship was in the past, they were friends and she'd be there to listen if he ever wanted to talk.

Lana was so loyal in her friendship with him, he knew she tried several times to get him to give up on Lois, hoping that he would find someone else, but he couldn't. He loved Lois and wether she ever felt the same way about him or not, made no difference to his feelings for her.

After her Superman fixation wore off, he was worried that Lois would meet someone before she ever realised that he was there, just waiting for her to notice him. So three months later when he found out that she had meet someone, he was dismayed that he might have lost her before he'd even had a chance.

Chloe and he had gone to Lois's apartment to firm up their plans for their movie night together and he was surprised to find out that Lois had a date.

"Hey Lo, Clark was thinking Mexican and I was thinking Chinese for dinner tonight, so you're the deciding vote, what'd you feel like?" Chloe asked as soon as Lois opened the door.

Lois had retreated to the kitchen and came back with soft drinks in hand "Um, sorry guys, you're on your own tonight. I…I have a date." She replied handing round the drinks before taking a seat opposite.

"A date?"

"Who with, where'd you meet him, who is he?" The words flew out of his mouth and he could only hope that Lois didn't hear the jealousy behind them.

"Well actually, I have you guys to thank for meeting him. Of course if it doesn't work out, I have you guys to yell at for meeting him." She replied with a grimace.

"Us, I don't remember introducing you to anyone, Clark do you remember introducing Lois to anyone?"

"Cut it out. Remember last month when I hurt my wrist."

"Yeah you said you banged it, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well what I didn't tell you was that I banged it into Jack's chair. Jack's the guy I'm going out with."

"Hang on, back up, how did you even meet this guy; and how are we responsible for you meeting him?" There was no way he'd leave Lois alone in the company of any eligible men without supervision. That is, without him doing all he could to scare the guy away with an unspoken, but clear message that the lady was very much spoken for.

"Remember last month we were going to the movies but Chlo you pulled out because you weren't feeling well, so Clark and I were going to go. But while we were having coffee, you had to leave remember Clark? You had some emergency or another, I think you had to take the DVD's back to the rental shop or something, anyway..." she waved her arms in a 'forget about it' gesture "....I decided to stay and finish my coffee before going onto the movies by myself. But just as I got up to leave, Jack who was sitting in front of me, pushed back his chair and I banged my wrist against the back of it."

"Ok, keep going."

"Well he felt really bad about it, he was apologising over and over and he was so sweet, he offered to strap it for me. Get this, he's a paediatrician, can you believe it? Anyway after strapping my wrist he insisted on buying me another cup of coffee, and we ended up chatting for a couple of hours. We've met a couple of times since then, you know just to have coffee and a few days ago he asked me out." Lois smiled, shrugged and took a sip of her drink.

"Why didn't you tell us?" He was hurt that he she hadn't said anything, and upset that she'd met someone else, and would now most likely never give him a chance.

"I didn't wanna jinx it. I thought if I said anything, the two of you would put your over protective friends hats on and before I know it; he'd turn out to be a hit man, or crazy person who has a predilection for chopping up his dates and keeping them in the freezer." She said apologetically.

"Lo, we just care about you that's all."

"I know and I appreciate it, but I guess I didn't want anything to spoil it and I've been trying not to think about this date and I'm really nervous. But Jack's really nice and hey, he's a paediatrician, which is a good sign, if you believe in signs, which I don't, but if I did, it'd be a good sign." She replied, rushing the words out in one sentence.

"Lois breathe."

"Sorry, I'm just nervous. I really like him, which usually means I should run for the hills. But I bought this great new dress and shoes, and what if ….what if it all goes wrong? My track records not that great and I've been trying not the think about the date and now you've got me thinking about it. And why did you have to get sick Chlo, and why did you have to return your DVD's Clark, surely they could have waited. I wouldn't have met him if you two were available, but then I wouldn't have met this great guy and …" She leant over and put her head between her knees "…and I think I'm gonna pass out."

"Lo, why are you getting all worked up about this?" She never got this worked up when he asked her out. Of course he was her 'friend' not some handsome, available paediatrician doctor type man he thought, mentally gnashing his teeth.

"Why, why, Clark? You know the kind of guys I attract and I hate being out in dating hell again, and I really really like him." Her voice was muffled. Considering her face was still turned towards the floor that wasn't surprising, but even without super hearing he would have heard every word loud and clear; especially the part where she really, really liked this guy. She couldn't just like him, oh no, that wouldn't do, she had to _**really really**_ like him. Shit!

"Ok, just relax, everything's gonna be fine." Chloe soothed, rubbing circles on Lois' back.

"You think so?"

"Sure, right Clark." Chloe confirmed, nodding her head and giving him the fish eye to say something positive.

"Sure Lo, the date's gonna be great." He reassured while his heart was sitting at the bottom of his shoes.

A few hours later he and Chloe were at his apartment, the pleasure of the day was gone for him. Chloe was watching the movie, and he was staring at the screen, wondering how Lois' date was going and feeling guilty for hoping it was a disaster.

"I'm sorry Clark." It was obvious his mind wasn't on the movie, and he knew that his mood was bringing Chloe down with him, but he couldn't stop from feeling sorry for himself.

"It's ok. No, no it's not ….DAMN IT!!! I've asked her out twice and she didn't even blink when she said no, and to see her get so worked up about someone else, and I didn't even know she'd met someone else, and if I didn't get that Superman call she never would have met him; it's not fair Chloe. I've been waiting and waiting and she only met him because neither of us was available." He pushed of the couch to pace, his pent up feelings spilling out at the first opening she'd given since Lois had dropped her bombshell earlier "First Superman screws things up because she's in love with him and can't see me, and now he wrecks things by making me unavailable, so that she meets someone else."

Chloe reached over and turned the TV off. This was not going to be a quiet movie night and there was no use pretending otherwise "Clark, maybe you should think about dating yourself."

"I'm not interested Chlo."

"I know, but maybe you just need to try. You know, get out there and …."

"I don't want to try with anyone else; it's Lois or no one." He interrupted.

"Sort of like your Lana days?"

"Yeah, except then although I didn't try very hard, every now and again I went out with someone else. But I know that if I went out with someone else now, I'd be wasting both my time and hers." He replied with a wry smile.

"And what are you gonna do if Lois does get involved with Jack?" Chloe asked with sympathetically.

"I figure I can either fling him into outer space, or wait and hope that the relationship doesn't work out."

"Well, we've talked about the outer space bit before and you know that's a no go but…."

Chloe was interrupted by the sound of hammering on the door, and when he pulled his glassed down to peek, saw Lois standing on the stoop with an impatient expression on her face.

"Give me a damn drink" Lois demanded as soon as he opened the door. She rushed through the lounge, into the kitchen and took a bottle of beer from the fridge.

"Hi Lo, I guess the date didn't go so well huh?" He tried to keep the glee from his voice and hoped to hell he was succeeding.

"Oh the date was great, Jack was great. I hate men." She replied before glugging down half the contents of the bottle.

"Um what happened?"

"He's going overseas. Apparently he was given this great opportunity to go and work in Somalia or somewhere and leaves in a couple of weeks."

"I'm sorry Lo."

"Yeah, I finally meet a really great guy, one who likes me and he's leaving the country. Ok, that came out wrong or I think it did….I don't know. What the hell's wrong with us? We're three young, attractive, single adults. Why do we spend all our time together? Is there something wrong with us that you two aren't telling me about?" She demanded taking off her coat and throwing it over a chair.

"Wow, is that the new dress?" He could hear the admiration in Chloe's voice and heartily agreed with it.

"Yeah, whaddya think?" She asked turning in a slow circle, to show the dress off from all angles.

He'd seen Lois dressed up before, he'd escorted her to a couple of Planet events and at work she always looked professional and pretty, but he'd never seen her like this.

Lois was a beautiful woman, even just wearing jeans and a t-shirt and with her hair tied back. But dressed up, she was stunning. He'd noticed her hair and makeup was different to how she usually wore it, but once her coat came off, he didn't know how he kept his tongue from hitting the floor.

The dress was breath-taking. It was a deep dark grey, in some kind of floaty material, halter bodiced, with satin bands wrapped around her waist to just under her breasts, displaying her figure to perfection. The hem hit just above her knees, showcasing her fabulous legs; and her shoes screamed SEX. They were black, strappy, glittery, and high enough to give him fantasies about Lois wearing the shoes and nothing else to bed. The perfume she was wearing made his mouth water, and he had to swallow a couple of times before he disgraced himself by falling to his knees and begging.

With her makeup, her hair tumbled and loose and with that dress and those shoes, he was surprised he could form a coherent thought.

"It's gorgeous, you look great Lo." Chloe replied smiling.

"Thanks, I'm not showing too much skin right? I wanted to show just enough, you know to keep his eyes firmly fixed on me. Humm, fat look of good it did. And look at these shoes, I just fell in love with them, they're like stripper shoes."

"I love them. Where'd you get them?" Chloe asked enviously.

"I found this fabulous shop in the Metropolis Arcade, Chlo you have got to check them out. They're expensive but oh so worth it. I love these shoes. I think I might wear them while lying on my bed tonight just watching TV. You know to admire them."

"I don't blame you, they're great."

"Thanks." When Lois turned to him, he didn't know how he stopped himself from just grabbing her "Clark, you're a guy. Look at me, not as a friend but as a man looking at his date; what'd you think? And be honest?"

What did he think? What he honestly thought couldn't be said in polite company, not if he didn't want Lois to try giving him a black eye. He'd had a number of fantasies about her, but my god after tonight, he'd dine for a year on the vision of Lois in that dress, or more correctly taking that dress of her, and tumbling her down on the nearest available surface to make love with her wearing only those shoes "I think….I think you look sensational." He managed to say, hoping that what he was _really_ thinking didn't show on his face, and sent a silent plea to the heavens that he wouldn't start slobbering and really embarrass himself.

She beamed and gave him a hug "Really, thanks Clark, you're such a great friend."

"So are you." Yeah FRIEND, thanks Lo, he thought, exchanging a pointed look with Chloe over Lois' shoulder.

"Well I guess this dress will never see the light of day again." Lois replied pulling out of his arms and taking a seat beside Chloe.

"Why not?" He couldn't stop the question, and wanted to howl thinking he'd never see it on her again.

"Are you kidding me, by the time I get a date with a guy that's worth hauling it out for, I'll be too old to pull the look off." She said dejectedly slumping down onto the couch beside Chloe.

Normally he didn't like seeing Lois upset, but this time he was selfishly glad that her date didn't work out, and silently promised himself that if he ever managed to catch her, that one day he'd make every fantasy he'd just had come true. He thoroughly enjoyed the rest of movie night.

Five months later he asked Lois out for the third time. But this time, he decided to be more casual in the invitation. This time he wouldn't use the dreaded word 'date', and could only hope she'd be more inclined to say yes.

Unfortunately he'd asked so casually, that when Lois said yes, he didn't realise that she thought he was proposing nothing more than just one of their regular pizza and movie nights and not a date.

When he got to her apartment, he noticed that Lois was dressed much too casually for a date and with him being dressed up it made the situation awkward. After the initial uneasiness had passed, she'd suggested they just stay in and just enjoy their time together. They had enjoyed it but he wanted more, so he proposed to her that they try dating and if it didn't work out there would be no hard feelings on either side. The conversation wasn't easy, he had to talk her round but finally she'd said yes. He felt pretty desperate inside, but must have seemed more cool and collected than he felt, because if Lois had suspected his feelings for her, she never would have agreed. Knowing Lois, she would have been afraid of leading him on.

He sat through the movie, not paying the slightest attention, instead gearing himself up for the battle he was about to fight and hopefully win. After the movie was over he took the chance "Lois, I want to ask you something, please don't say no before you hear me out ok?"

"Alright."

"I've asked you out twice now and you said no, well I guess three times, since tonight was supposed to be a date but didn't quite work out. I know we're best friends and I did listen to what you said about our working together and hurt feelings etc, but I really think that you and I could be good together."

"What, Clark ….." She'd been surprised and he thought maybe a little frustrated that he'd brought the subject up again.

"Lois, we enjoy each other's company, we get along and I just think we should try, if it doesn't work out, no hard feelings on either side."

"I don't know Clark, I think you're playing with fire. As you said we're best friends but what happens if it doesn't work out, or something goes wrong and we have a fight and end up hating each other's guts, who are we going to talk to about it? We won't be able to talk to each other, and it wouldn't be fair on Chloe. Besides don't you think that we've known each other too long for anything romantic to happen between us? I mean, if there was anything there, we would have felt it by now right?"

"No, not necessarily, we were kids when we met, so maybe we just weren't ready for each other then. We didn't even like each other before, but look at us now. I don't think we should ignore the fact that just because we love each other as friends it should stop us from going out." He had to get her try, this was it, his last idea on what to say to convince her. If this didn't work, he'd have to get his mom and Chloe to try talking her round and how pathetic would that be. He was a grown man, not a school boy.

"It would seem strange being romantic with you, it's kind of weird even talking about it."

"We don't have to be romantic with each other, we'll just be ourselves, and you'll have a guaranteed date for any of those annoying parties we have to attend for work." He tried coaxing.

"I already have a guaranteed date, you, Chloe and I go together, unless she has a date and if so, then you and I go together." Lois replied unconvinced.

"Look let's just try, I'm not interested in going out with someone I don't know. You know me, I hate change, and you know…. some of the best romances have been between people who were friends first." He tried smiling, maybe if he didn't seem so desperate and earnest, she'd go for it.

"Well….."

"C'mon whadda say, let's try, and if it doesn't work out, I promise no hard feelings and it won't affect our working relationship." She was caving, god he couldn't believe it, she was caving. Don't push it, just wait and see if she has another argument, and for god's sake don't jump up and down if she says yes.

"Ok, but on one condition." Lois said firmly.

He'd agree to anything as long as she said yes "What?"

"If either of us meets someone else, we have to be honest about it. No cheating, EVER!"

He agreed, he didn't want anyone else, Lois was all he wanted and he could only hope that she would come to feel the same way about him.

Talking her into it hadn't been easy but once she agreed she had never backed out. Two weeks later he told her he was Superman, she was hurt and he remembered how scared he'd been that he was going to lose her before they'd had a chance. But although she was hurt, and it was several days before she forgave him for lying to her, she'd eventually come to understand that it wasn't a lack of trust in her, it was plain fear that she _**might**_ not look at him the same way.

Although they were 'dating' they didn't kiss for the first month. He was wary about scaring her off, so tried to act as circumspect as possible and usually just pecked her on the cheek. Then one night after he'd kissed her on the cheek and opened the door prior to leaving, she cried out 'Oh for god's sakes' grabbed him by his tie, pulled him down and kissed him.

They had kissed twice before years ago, but one time she didn't know it was him and one time that she didn't remember, and although both times had been amazing, he'd been much too smitten with Lana to give them much thought. He'd felt disloyal wanting Lois more than he'd ever wanted anyone, including Lana, and although she had been with Lex and lost to him by then, he'd still felt like he was cheating in his heart. So he'd resolutely pushed his attraction to Lois out of his head, and convinced himself it would only ever be Lana he wanted.

Of course, once he fell in love with Lois, those kisses played in his head repeatedly. He wished he could remember how they felt and tasted, and had tried to recall all the phantom memories of his time with her.

But this was their first real kiss and it wasn't awkward or uneasy, it was ….right. He remembered how stunned Lois had been. There was definite chemistry. He'd wanted to laugh because she really hadn't expected much of anything, but as soon as their lips met, it was like fireworks and they'd ended up kissing for so long that when she finally pushed him out the door, she laughingly said that her lips were bruised and could take no more punishment for the night.

After their first kiss, half the time their dates had gotten cancelled because they'd ended up making-out and groping in her apartment. He couldn't remember how many times he'd had to cancel reservations at the last minute because when he went to pick her up, they ended up on the couch, pressed up against whatever furniture was handy at the time, on the floor, or sometimes just stumbling through her apartment, until they fell on her bed in a tangle of arms and legs.

One thing he learned very quickly about Lois; that he never would have guessed, was that she could be quite shy. Lois was an assertive, take charge, in your face kind of woman, and he found her discomfiture in public displays to be a somewhat sweet and endearing quirk in her nature.

She would hold his hand in public, she had no problem if he put his arm around her, or let his hand rest on her knee, but that was as far as she would allow in front of others.

He found this out when his mom had come for a quick visit and caught them kissing. Lois had quickly pulled out of his arms, her face had taken on a pink tinge and she started talking a lot of nonsense about nothing. Unless he was quick enough to kiss her goodbye when others were around, she usually just pecked him on the check and was gone before he even realised it.

At first he tried to wrestle her back into his arms, and although his mom and Chloe enjoyed the spectacle, Lois didn't enjoy being the source of their stifled amusement. She usually gave him an elbow jab, stepped on his foot or told him to knock it off. After the first few times, he gave in. He didn't want her to be uncomfortable, so decided to respect her stance on privacy. Besides he found her shyness utterly charming.

Their relationship was even better then he'd imagined. Lois did little things to show that she cared, that he was special to her. She bought him lunch if he was off being Superman during the lunch hour, she held his hand when walking to work, and god help him; she had discovered her inner Betty Crocker and began baking him treats. He just didn't have the heart to tell her how truly awful her cooking was, barely chocking down one unappetising confection after another, pies, cakes and chocolate chip cookies that were so hard he was afraid they would break even his super teeth. Superman or not, he was taking no chances and had taken to keeping a bottle of Tums handy at all times.

He in turn showed her how he felt by his actions. He couldn't keep his hands off her, even just sitting down to watch a movie he'd pull her to rest against him, he'd fly anywhere to get her something if she craved a particular food, and he made sure that there was always a stash of ding dongs in his cupboard and cream soda the fridge.

They had been dating for three months before they slept together; sex wasn't something they'd discussed. It was definitely a heat of the moment act, but considering they couldn't be around each other for any length of time, before they started kissing and removing various items of clothing, it wasn't one either regretted, or was surprised by. She'd wondered afterwards why they'd waited so long and he'd teased her that it was all her fault, he'd asked her out several times and had been rebuffed.

The one and only time he'd had sex was when he was 18 with Lana, and although he could vaguely recall it had been nice, he'd been too nervous to really enjoy it. At that time, he'd just been grateful that he was able to have sex at all.

This time was different, although he was still nervous, he really didn't have the time to think or worry about it, and it was unbelievably beautiful, passionate, and more than a little bit frantic. They had only gotten out of bed to combat hunger or when he had to go and be Superman for the rest of the weekend.

For the next four months they spent most nights in one or the others apartments. Then one night they were at his place just lazing after making love, when he told he loved her and she 'freaked out', quickly making up excuses about needing to get home, before jumping up, pulling on her clothes and practically running out the door. She tried to avoid him as much as she could for the next few days, and given that they worked together it wasn't easy, but whenever he tried to talk to her, she changed the subject and kept deflecting the conversation back to work.

After three days he'd had enough, and had gone to her apartment to talk. She gently tried to break up with him, but he wasn't having any of that. He loved her, he was more happy with her than he'd ever been, he finally had what he wanted and he was going to fight for her, so when she tried to break up with him, he seduced her. She called him a manipulative bastard, but he said that he wasn't giving her up. That was when she told him that he was one of her best friends, she cared about him, she liked and respected him, and she did love him, but she wasn't IN love with him. He was hurt and disappointed, but told her that he loved her enough for both of them and he meant it. He didn't want anything from her, he just wanted to love her and for them to be together.

Lois didn't agree, she thought he could find happiness with someone else, someone who could love him the way he wanted and deserved, but he didn't want that, he wanted her, and persuaded her to give them another try.

So she said yes, and their relationship was even better without any secrets. She now knew he loved her, had loved her from the moment he came back, he saw no reason to hide anything, he wanted it all out in the open, and although he was disappointed she didn't feel the same way, he couldn't give her up or give up on the two of them.

They still argued, worked together, had fun together and the sex was fantastic. And although she never reciprocated when he told her he loved her, she never slapped him down for it either. She didn't try to take advantage of his feelings for her, and if she hadn't told him so, he would never have known that she wasn't in love with him by her behaviour. She hadn't changed, she was just being herself, but she never made him feel that she was only with him out of sufferance, or because she felt sorry for him, he truly felt loved.

He started to wonder if he was becoming depraved, as he particularly enjoyed it when she was angry, and would rant about her latest irritation, not that he could stop her, but at least now he could soothe her down….sometimes. He certainly relished those sessions. Anger and pique brought a certain beauty to her face, and listening to her swear a blue streak, in between kissing and groping him was more fun than he ever thought it could be.

Once she'd been storming around his apartment, kicking the sofa, kicking the coffee table, muttering under her breath in between yelling and flailing her arms, and he'd been following her around the apartment, hoping she'd take her frustration out on him. She ended up by pushing him over the side of the sofa and jumping on top of him. They'd rolled off the couch onto the floor and before he knew it, she was ripping his shirt open, and telling him to take it like a man. She didn't stop muttering and cursing the whole time they were making love. When it was over he remarked that he'd never felt so thoroughly and completely used and had loved every minute of it, causing them to look at each other with goofy smiles before laughing hysterically.

A month after his declaration they'd gone to Smallville to share Christmas with his mom, and it was one of the best times of his life. He was with the woman he loved, enjoying Christmas with his mom back in his childhood home. They decorated the tree together and then Lois bossed him around telling him where to put the decorations and lights up outside, and he loved it. It was a Christmas full of laughter and good times and it was the first one since his dad's passing that he could say he honestly enjoyed, and knew his mom felt the same way.

Four months later they were lying on the couch in her apartment watching a movie, when she told him she loved him. He'd been surprised and god, so happy. The memory of her saying she loved him was still burned into his mind. Some people might not find it romantic, but to him, it was perfect because it was so…… Lois, declaring her love for him without any fanfare.

"Clark."

"Hmm."

"I love you."

"What did you say?" He was sure he'd heard wrong.

"I love you." Lois repeated turning her face towards him and smiling.

"When did you know?" The movie was forgotten, hell the television could have blown up and he wouldn't have noticed. He felt …...he didn't know how he felt, he wanted to say happy but that seemed such a pitiful word to describe the emotion that was growing in his chest, and cutting of his vocal cords.

"Last night. You'd hogged all the covers again and I when turned over to yank them back from you, the moon was slanting through the blinds and onto your face and I just…..knew." She smiled, and ran her hand over his hair, before letting it rest against his cheek.

He knew he was smiling, he must have had the sloppiest look on his face but he didn't care. SHE LOVED HIM, she really did. Oh god, Lois loved him. He bent down and kissed her before burying his face in her neck and hugging her close. When he looked at her again, she was smiling through tears and he couldn't stop himself from pressing kisses to her forehead, eye lids, nose, cheeks, chin and lips. When he talked about getting married, Lois explained that she wasn't ready for that. She wanted them to be together and when they were ready for marriage they'd know it. This time he wasn't disappointed, Lois did everything in her own time, hadn't she surprised him by doing just that? As long as she loved him, he wasn't going to push.

They talked about moving in together, but neither wanted to give up their apartment, and both had good reasons for not being the one to have to move. He finally won by giving her carte blanche on decorating his apartment as she liked. As she wasn't into pinks and pastels, he knew that he wouldn't end up living in some ridiculous fairy floss, girly apartment and he was right.

She actually didn't change much of anything. Some of the things he'd collected on his travels were packed up and replaced by some of hers; and thank god he'd been around or his treasures probably would have been thrown out with the trash.

She just didn't understand that the necklace he had hanging proudly on the bedroom wall was a gift. He'd been in a little village, one of many in Africa and had saved the chiefs daughter from certain death by a crocodile. As he wouldn't take the daughters hand in marriage, the chief had presented him the necklace made of teeth.

She'd listened to his argument, nodded her head appropriately, then told him he was a typical guy with gross taste, and the necklace and anything else that was hideous was going out.

After she moved in, the apartment said couple not single guy, and he loved it. She'd imprinted the apartment with both their tastes, and made it into their place, not his.

He didn't think there was a word to describe how happy he was, his life was all coming together in a way he had never dreamed of when he was younger, and it was all the more special for that. His work as Superman, his work at the Planet, and Lois; always Lois. She loved him, they were living together under the same roof and he just didn't see how it could get any better.

And once again she proved him wrong. Five months later, one night after they had gone out to dinner, they'd been taking a stroll in a nearby park, when she sat him on the edge of the fountain, got down on one knee, told him she loved him and asked him to marry her. He couldn't say yes quick enough, he wasn't willing to take any chances that she'd change her mind, and they ended up laughing and kissing and fell in the fountain. It was the happiest day of his life.

He quickly dried her off when she started to shiver; then rushed her home and into a hot shower before he called his mom with the news. She screamed, and when he teased that she'd broken his eardrum, they'd both laughed, before she started crying. When Lois came out, he gave her the phone, and went to have a shower. He took his time, giving her a chance to have a long talk with his mom, but found himself listening to the conversation and couldn't wipe the smile of his face.

When he heard the phone click, he quickly got out, and then heard her dialling to make another call, this time to her dad. After another round of congratulations, they both knew they had better call Chloe who screeched almost as loud as his mom.

That was the limit of Lois' patience as far as informing their loved ones went. She demanded he make love to her, if he was going to make an honest woman out of her, they wouldn't be living in sin for much longer, and she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could before they became an official 'old married couple'. He'd laughed and thrown her on the bed. He'd bought her the ring the next day.

His mom and Lois were crazy about each other, for which he was certainly grateful. His mom was dead set on having an engagement party, and Lois insisted it had to be in Smallville. She loved the town, his family home and knew how much his mom loved having them come and stay.

So here they all were in Smallville, Chloe had been excited and happy for them, his mom was over the moon that at long last her son had everything he'd ever wanted. He was marrying a woman she was proud to call her daughter in law, and this time his feelings were real and not based on anything but love; and until this morning, he did have everything, but last night's happy bride to be was gone. She was no longer HIS Lois; she was someone he'd known a long time ago, but not someone who loved him.

Their relationship was usually one of highs, they did have their low moments as did all couples, but they didn't last. When they argued, mostly it was fast, furious and then over. They'd only had one really brutal argument that nearly destroyed their relationship, and he could only thank god for her willingness to forgive him for being a jealous ass.

But this was different. This wasn't an argument; this wasn't something that a little yelling to clear the air would fix, this wasn't something he could repair with his powers. This was something out of his scope. He didn't know what to do, and could only hope that when it was over, he'd have his Lois back.

God, what if this time they couldn't fix it, what if this time something went wrong. He was more scared than he'd ever been in his life, because if things changed this time around, he'd lose EVERYTHING.


	7. Chapter 7

Thank you for the feedback, it's nice to hear that people are enjoying my work, so I really appreciate it. Um, just thought I'd let you know that I actually finished posting Regression on another site over a year ago (before S8 started), and found Lois' dress on the internet. I don't watch the show anymore, and haven't seen the S9 promos, but hmm wonder if the advertising people saw the same dress and liked it too???

Now; this update will bring us full circle with the 3 main characters thoughts (i.e. Clark, Lois & Lana) both their past & present selves, so you'll have a pretty good idea what each of their agenda's are (but who's gonna win; hmmm???)

Linda

**

**Chapter 7**

_2007 Lois, in 2015_

Lois was sitting on top of the water tower looking towards Metropolis. Her mind circled back and forth over all that she'd learned since waking up this morning.

It just didn't seem possible that she could go to bed and wake up living a different life. It might be her life but it all seemed too foreign to her. Right now she felt like Alice and wouldn't be surprised if she saw a rabbit wearing a waist-cost running past the tower checking his watch and worrying about being late.

She could be dreaming, Chloe told her that she was asleep, unconscious or whatever in the Medical Centre. Maybe that's what this was, a waking dream. Maybe she wasn't really in the future; maybe she was having some kind of out of body experience. She was in Smallville so anything was possible. Ok so she looked like herself, just older but didn't they say that everyone had a twin in the world. She didn't know who 'they' were but it sounded good. Maybe she was in her doppelganger's body. Maybe all she needed to do was go to the Medical Centre, find her body and somehow morph into it and out of this one. God that sounded stupid but it was better than accepting that this was going to be her life.

And right now she really didn't want to go back to the farm; she didn't want to face everyone, especially Clark just yet.

She knew he wanted her to accept, or at least understand that they'd both changed and were now in love and engaged, but she just couldn't. She didn't want to. He was a nice guy, he was a genuinely nice guy and she'd be lucky to ever meet someone like him; but he wasn't who she wanted.

She didn't want to marry someone who had no direction in life, who was content to stay on the farm, eking out a living playing farmer Joe because he had no goals in life. If he was a farmer because that was what he really wanted she'd be happy for him. But she suspected that he was using the farm as a place to hide from reality. The reality being that his father was dead, his mother was quite often away from home and Lana was lost to him.

However, it seemed that had changed too. He was now a reporter and a super hero. He didn't live at the farm; he lived in Metropolis doing what he could to make the world a safer place. But he wasn't the Clark she knew.

Ok, yes the Clark she knew had a hero complex, and was always trying to save his friends, even if it just meant sticking his nose into their relationships to ensure he approved of the guys they dated but he wasn't exactly hero material. Ok, sometimes he was.

But she didn't want to marry Clark. She didn't want to feel duty bound to pick him up emotionally, or to look at his sullen, brooding face when he was morose about something, as he so often was. She shuddered at the thought of having to do that every day for the rest of her life. Put up with his rudeness. She didn't mind snippiness or churlish behaviour, she could be that way herself, but rudeness just because Lana was ignoring him, or because she was with Lex wasn't on. Although it seemed he no longer wanted Lana anymore either.

That was the hardest thing to believe. He'd always wanted Lana, he'd told her so and even before she'd met him, Chloe had talked her ear off about the farmboys love for Lana Lang.

Why the hell did he break up with her, a blind person could see that he regretted doing it. Lana HAD wanted him and she was pretty much all he talked about; when he bothered talking that was, so what exactly did he want?

Maybe he'd been too scared to try again; he'd certainly done everything he could to sabotage his relationship with Lana by not telling her he was an alien; or intergalactic traveller as he liked to be called. Lana obviously didn't care, she said as much.

He'd stalked Lana for years and even after they broke up he still pursued her, even if it was, just by not letting her go. He obviously didn't WANT to let her go and yet he had. He'd let fear control him and as a consequence lost the girl he always wanted.

She'd had her own teenage love affair, and it hadn't been anywhere near as soap opera-ish as the Clark and Lana show. The first few times she'd seen them together, she'd thought all that was missing was a bucket of popcorn and a front row seat, but that quickly got old and boring. They really were boringly predictable.

Lana played the 'come hither game' and when Clark hithered, Lana would slap him down. The girl certainly liked to be in control, and Smallville would take his wounded ego and watch her longingly from the sidelines, and every week it was the same episode with no resolution.

She hadn't been all that surprised when they broke up. Admittedly she thought they'd last longer than a few months but had long suspected that neither of them really wanted a relationship. What they wanted was the drama and the angst. That was what drew them to each other; that was what they considered romantic.

They were kindred spirits, two people who could sit around holding hands, gaze into each other's eyes and bitch about how the world had done them wrong. She'd expected them to get back together, break up, get back together and for this to be the norm, until they were both old and grey.

Neither of them seemed to want anyone else, not for long at any rate, they couldn't even decide if they wanted each other but they also seemed to take a proprietary, dog in the manger claim to each other.

She wasn't like that, when she was in a relationship, she liked to be happy and she wanted the guy to be happy and if they weren't, it was far better to end it, to make a clean break and move on.

She wasn't interested in a relationship full of tears and melodrama, breaking up but refusing to let each other go, watching each other with longing and harping about their feelings and their relationship to all and sundry, until their friends wanted to hide when they saw them coming.

She liked men who were confident, comfortable in their own skin, men who acted like a man, not some child in need of constant reassurance and as much as she bossed people around, she didn't want to wear the pants in the relationship. Granted she liked to keep her hand on the wheel but would love to meet someone who would fight her for the wheel every chance they got.

She wanted someone who would treat her like an equal but at the same time as something precious. She'd never admit that to anyone, but that was what she wanted.

She didn't want Clark, but had to concede her older self, oh screw that she'd call her Joanne, she had to concede that Joanne might want him. She wished she could sense Joanne's thoughts or feelings, anything. Clark had told her about their relationship; that he loved her and persuaded her to give him a chance.

When she was a kid, her parents had taken her to see a magician, she'd been enthralled with the tricks he did and had totally bought into his act. That was how Clark's story of their 'love' sounded to her, like the magician's trick. It was all an illusion, done with mirrors and lights to dazzle but she was no longer a child and knew it couldn't possibly be real.

And really she only had his word for everything. She had no knowledge of her own and never being one to follow the leader or take someone else's word on anything, she wasn't inclined to start now; especially in regards to their so called 'love for each other'. She preferred to make her own decisions and judgements, right or wrong.

His recounting of their relationship just didn't ring true. Not only could she **not** image them being romantic with each other, she just couldn't imagine the two of them **not** becoming impatient and frustrated with each other.

Almost from the moment they met they got on each others' nerves, that hadn't changed with time. They might get along better than when they first met, but they could barely have a conversation without one of them getting irritated.

When she told him her Harley analogy he seemed to get it and she thought MAYBE she'd gotten through his thick skull, hah, what a joke. She should have saved her breath. If he'd actually _**stopped**_ languishing after Lana for more than a minute she must have missed it; nor could she recall hearing any news bulletins about hell freezing over.

She didn't think she was that picky with what she wanted in a man but she couldn't lower her standards, and was damned if she was going to start now; with him.

And Clark…well he'd been pretty clear on what he wanted in a girlfriend. The only thing she and Lana had in common was that they were both female. If Clark could be so crazy over someone like Lana, then there was no way that he could turn around and fall for someone like her.

For some reason he didn't get back with Lana and must have decided to settle for her; and either she'd had her heart broken so didn't much care who she ended up with, or hadn't met anyone who could touch her heart at all, except in the most fleeting of ways and had settled for him.

That was the only conclusion she could come to. They had settled for each other but instead of being honest about it, they were either pretending or had convinced themselves that love was the motivating force in their relationship.

That didn't sound like her; she tended to be painfully honest, especially with herself. Clark yeah, she could see him doing it. She _**could**_ see him pretending that his Lana fixation was over; he'd already tried a couple of times but couldn't sustain the act for long. Lana was a firmly established religion to Clark, he was her devoted follower and she was his object of cult worship. A person didn't just get over that; he must have been damn scared when they didn't get back together and so convinced himself that he loved someone else instead. What Joanne's motives were was a mystery. But considering he'd talked up their relationship like some kind of Hallmark movie of the week, he'd never admit they were anything but in love.

All she could see for them once the glow of marriage wore off was years and years of fights and arguments. Him yelling that he wished he'd married Lana and regretted ever marrying her, and she yelling back that she wished he'd done just that and equally regretted the day she'd ever met him. They'd end up hating each other and would be locked in a marriage filled with bitterness and hostility; that's if they didn't end up divorcing within a year or two, cheating on each other or running off with someone else. Two guesses as to who he'd run off with, she thought with a snort.

Going to the Medical Centre was sounding pretty good right now, or better yet finding out who did this, belting the truth out of them and then pounding on them until they sent her back.

The first thing she'd do would be to pack up and high tail it out of Smallville. Screw packing, she'd just grab her passport. She didn't need her clothes, she could buy new clothes. She didn't really need her passport either, she knew people who knew people. She could change her name, get a fake passport and just disappear. She could colour her hair again, or maybe even shave it all off, he'd scream in fright if he saw her bald. Maybe she could move to somewhere in the Amazon Basin or Outer Mongolia. Either of them was far enough away that he wouldn't find her, hell he wouldn't even look because she would have left long before they ever had a relationship but still disappearing was worth keeping in mind as a backup plan.

God she was losing it; she was starting to think crazy and lightly slapped her face before reaching into her purse, pulling out a cigarette and shakily lighting it to calm herself down.

Ok, what was that shit Oliver had tried to teach her about centring herself to attain inner calm, inhale, exhale, inh…OH FUCK CALM!! Why, why, why did he break up with Lana, why didn't they get back together, and why because of that one lousy thing was her whole life to be disrupted, to be changed in a way that she neither wanted nor appreciated? Why couldn't Clark and Lana see that they were made for each other?!?!

It was unfair that she would forget all of this; forget everything and couldn't help feeling resentful. It seemed cruel to give her a glimpse of how her life was going to turn out and not even give her the chance to try and make it work, or change it if she wanted to.

She'd told him once that he and Lana were written in the stars, sure she was mocking him, but ….her thoughts suddenly coalesced. She still didn't know how she got here, and she no longer cared. Maybe this was fate or some benign being who was trying to help set the record straight, she really didn't believe in that crap, you made your own fate, but maybe, just maybe something or someone really was on their side. She now knew WHY she was here, and was going to do everything she could to make sure it worked.

***

Martha Kent watched her son through the kitchen window. He'd been leaning against the post on the back porch, looking down the driveway for almost five hours now. He'd only left once for a Superman call but as soon as he returned, he was back to standing on the porch once again. He could be trying to use his super vision or hearing to find Lois but she had the feeling his thoughts weren't in the present, they were on his Lois and the fear that all that he'd attained would soon be lost to him.

Chloe and she had discussed it, but they were both at a loss. It had to be fixed, and they had obviously done it before but they were worried that this time, whatever they did might not work out the same way.

They knew how much Clark loved Lois and were scared of what could happen if he lost her. This Lois didn't know how much she was loved, she didn't know how vital she was to his happiness, she didn't know that he would do anything for her and as a result she could hurt him more than he'd ever been hurt before.

After a nudge from Chloe, Martha decided to try and coax Clark inside, if only to get him to stop looking down the driveway as if searching for the missing piece of himself.

"Honey why don't you come inside, lunch will be ready in a few minutes." She walked next to him and laid a hand on his arm.

"How do you think she is mom?" He didn't turn around, just kept his eyes on the driveway.

"I don't know sweetie. You told us that you explained your relationship to her and that she left straight after to be by herself for a while. She's probably just thinking about everything. Lois is one of the most resilient people I know, she'll be fine. Now, Chloe and I have been giving you space for the last few hours but we're both worried about you." She said with a slight smile.

"I'm worried about her." He turned to face her and she could see the worry etched on his face and the silent fear he was trying to hide in his eyes. He never could hide anything from her, she knew her son too well.

"I know, so are we, but even though you haven't gone after her, I'm sure you've kept an ear out for her, am I right?" She nodded her head at the abashed look on his face "So we know she's alright physically but for now there's nothing you can do but wait until she's ready to come back and she will, if only for food. You know Lois, she hates to miss a meal." She was glad to get even a slight smile out him. "She'll be back when she's ready; she's had a lot thrown at her this morning and just needs to get it straight in her head. Lois tends to pick herself up pretty fast but this is an unusual situation and she just needs time."

"TIME!! God I hate that word. Time is the problem. Lois isn't in her right time, she's lying in the Smallville Medical Centre back in time and yet she's here in this time. How the hell could this have happened mom, why did we just let it go, we never let anything go." He said in anger, raking a hand through his hair.

Chloe had been listening at the door and decided to join them "Clark, we'll figure this out, I don't know how yet but we will and …."

"I know Chloe but this is just so damn frustrating. If I hadn't been so self involved years ago thinking only of Lana getting married, maybe I would have cared more about what was going on." He snarled.

"You did care Clark so don't try and make out you didn't. You sat with Lois; you tried to find out what happened; we all did. You might have been thinking about Lana getting married, but don't ever say you didn't care about what happened to Lois because you did and you know it." Chloe replied firmly

"Yes I cared, but once she was better did I try and help you figure out what caused it, did I even bother to look into it? You don't need to answer because I remember that I didn't. I was glad Lois was ok and then I went back to brooding about Lana's pending marriage." Clark said scornfully.

"Clark, honey, none of us tried too hard to find out what caused it, we were just so happy that Lois was alright and that no one else was affected. Lois refused to discuss it; you know that, so what else could we do?" Martha was also feeling the guilt of not attempting to at least try and discover what had happened.

"I know, I just wish that I knew then how this was going to affect my life now. If this happened to MY Lois, regardless of how she felt, I wouldn't give in so easily. I'd damn well make her talk about it, or keep looking into it on my own; I wouldn't just let it go because I'd be too scared it was going to happen again."

"We can't go back and change our actions Clark, we've already lived it, so there's no point in beating ourselves up about it. And we now know that whatever happened originated from here, so even if we had kept looking then we never would have found anything. What we have to do now is find a way to fix it, we did last time and we will this time." Chloe understood what he was saying, they all felt guilty but hanging on to that would get them nowhere fast. She refused to let herself get so bogged down riding on the guilt train that she couldn't concentrate on the problem at hand.

"But what if this time something goes wrong Chlo, what then? Yeah we fixed it last time but we don't even know what we did or where to start looking for answers." Clark replied.

"I know, but we figured it out last time and we'll figure it out this time but Clark we can't let the guilt of letting it go before cloud our minds now. You know that'll be the quickest way to not finding anything because all we'll keep doing is going around in 'what if' circles. And you know how much Lois hates the 'what if' and 'if only' game. Lois can't stand it when people refuse to live in the now and instead hold onto what could or what might have been. She's not a defeatist Clark and neither are you."

"I used to be."

"Yes, you USED to be but that was before your training, when you came back you'd changed. And I also think being around Lois, loving her got rid of whatever was left over. You knew she'd never be with you had you kept doing that and eventually you learnt that giving up and calling it quits gets you nowhere fast."

"There are still times things get to me Chlo, like when I can't save someone fast enough or I'm just not quick enough."

"Yeah and that's natural but tell me, does Lois let you wallow in that misery for long?" Chloe asked with raised eyebrow.

"No, she usually lets me get it out of my system and after a sufficient amount of brooding time tells me to suck it up because I'll be useless to everyone if I just sit around feeling sorry for myself, wishing things could be different. Lo's taught me that you can't change what's happened, you use it and learn from it to make yourself a better person." He said smiling.

"That's right, so from now on no more 'why didn't we do this or that'; from now it's going to be 'what are our options' and 'where do we go from here' agreed?" Chloe asked smiling at both Martha and Clark.

"Agreed." Clark nodded and smiled

"Yes." Martha put in.

"Good now let's go in, lunch is ready and we'll be able to think much more clearly on a full stomach."

***

They had just finished eating lunch when Clark heard a car turning down the driveway. He knew it was Lois and found he was inexplicably nervous about the coming meeting.

"Lois is back." He said shooting his mom and Chloe an apprehensive look.

"I'll set a plate for her. She must be starved unless she stopped to eat already." Martha bustled around grateful that she had something to do; she couldn't bear to see her son looking the way he did.

Apparently Chloe felt the same way since she smiled at him, patted him on the arm, and said "Ok, all positive from now on, everything's gonna be ok and when Lois comes in we'll have a nice talk. Who knows, maybe she found something when she was driving around." She finished hopefully.

Then they were silent, just sitting at the table looking at each other and hoping that Lois had found a measure of peace in her drive around town.

When she finally came in and they saw the smile on her face relief swept through all of them. Clark knew that everything was going to be fine. Lois was alright, she'd obviously needed the drive to get her thoughts together but as usual she'd bounced back and clearly regained her equilibrium again.

"Come sit down Lo, you just missed lunch but mom got a plate ready for you when I heard the car." He said smiling back at her.

"Thanks and thanks Mrs Kent, I'm starving. Sorry I took so long but kind of had a lot on my mind y'know?" she replied before taking her seat at the table.

"You're welcome and don't worry about it."

"Lo did you find something or remember anything. I'm only asking because of the smile on your face." Chloe asked.

"Not really but I think I know why I'm here now." She replied while cutting up her meat.

Chloe and Clark responded at the same time.

"You do!"

"Why?"

"Let me just finish my lunch and I promise I'll explain, but right now food is my number one priority." She said before talking a mouthful.

"Sure." Chloe replied.

"Where'd you go?" Clark asked. He didn't mean to interrupt her lunch but wanted to know where she'd been.

"Just drove around town, stopped in at the Talon and saw Lana. I told her what was going on, then just drove some more and finally ended up sitting on the water tower for a while."

"Why'd you tell Lana?" Clark couldn't stop the question. Lois and Lana were friends, but they weren't best friends and Lois didn't like sharing unless she felt completely comfortable and trusting of someone.

"Didn't see any reason not to, she knows about your powers, so obviously she can be trusted, so I figured why not. Besides I think she knew something was going on when she wanted to talk about the engagement and I kind of didn't want to talk about it, you know." She replied with a slight smile and shrug.

"Fair enough." He had to admit she did have a point. Lana was there 8 years ago, she might have been with Lex but she wasn't unobservant and she'd spent time, both at the Medical Centre visiting with Lois and trying to discover what was going on, maybe she could help. Right now he'd take all the help they could get.

"I hope it's ok, Mrs Kent but I also invited her here for dinner tonight. Maybe another head is just what we need."

"That's fine dear Lana's always welcome." Martha replied.

They were all silent waiting for Lois to finish eating. When she finally sat back replete Clark could hardly contain his impatience with getting the conversation back on track. "So Lo, um… I don't mean to push but what did you mean when you said, you know why you're here?" He asked hopefully.

"Gees talk about impatient…." She teased "…but if you two don't mind, could I talk to Clark alone, it really concerns the two of us." Lois asked looking between Martha and Chloe.

"Of course, we'll just be outside."

When it was just the two of them again, Lois turned back to Clark with a big smile on her face. She looked like a kid in a candy store and he could feel his own smile growing to match hers.

"Ok, well, I think I know why I'm here, I have no proof and I can't believe I was so slow to figure it out, but I think that someone or something sent me here to fix my life….our lives Clark." She said in excitement.

"What'd you mean?" He could feel the smile slip from his face and a feeling of uneasiness stir in his belly. This didn't sound good to him.

"I mean that this time when I go back, we have to make sure I go back with my memories intact." Her smile got bigger, which just compounded his agitation.

"Why are keeping your memories of being here so important?" The more excited she got, the higher his alarm grew to match.

"Don't you see; you and I are only together because when you and Lana broke up the last time you didn't get back together. All I have to do is go back with my memories of being here, and I know what I have to do."

"Lois, I don't ….." He'd felt uneasy and now he knew why.

"Just listen, I go back with my memories and I'll get you two love birds back together, I'll make sure you stay together too, hell I'll even co-ordinate your wedding and have you two crazy kids married within three months. I could try for two but that might be pushing it. But I'll do it Clark, I promise, I'm gonna save us both. Before you know it, you and Lana will be happily married and who knows, you may even be so damn grateful that you'll name the first kid after me. And the next time I meet you when I'm 28, you'll be happily married and none of this nonsense will have happened. I don't know who sent me here but at least now I know why, it was to fix things." She was almost bouncing in her seat. She thought she had it all figured out.

Shit!! He couldn't let this happen. She was so desperate to get rid of him that she was determined to get him back with Lana; he wanted to laugh and cry at the same time.

"Lois, I don't want you to fix or change anything, I DON'T love Lana, I love YOU, I want to marry YOU. What I felt for Lana was puppy love, first love, god that's why they call it a crush because you feel like you've been crushed by the time it's over. But most first love's end and it helps you to know and appreciate what you really want when you grow up and do meet the right person." His voice had taken on a tinge of exasperation and he tried to calm himself but her next words nearly sent his blood pressure through the roof.

"Well Clark, that's what you say now but I'm betting when I get back, you'll just love me for getting you back with the love of your life." Her smile had dimmed a little but it was obvious she just wasn't listening.

"God, how many times, and in how many ways do you want me to say it Lois, Lana is NOT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE**.** Just because you don't understand what's happened in the last eight years of yourlife, please don't change anything; don't screw up the rest of MY LIFE_**.**_" He said angrily before pushing out of his seat to pace around the kitchen.

"Exactly Clark, MY LIFE. Look I'm not stupid and I'm not without understanding. What YOUdon't seem to understand is that I won't be screwing up your life, I'll be making it better. I don't love you Clark, I never have and I never will. What I don't want to do is screw up the rest of MY life and if I can make yours better then it's a two for one. I listened to everything you told me about us and I'm sorry but it still freaks me out and no matter how romantic you make it sound, we ONLY got together because you didn't end up with the person you always thought was your destiny and I have yet to meet mine." She replied just as heatedly, pushing out of her chair and coming to stand opposite him.

***

Martha and Chloe looked at each other; they could hear the voices in the house getting louder. They couldn't hear what was being said, they'd made sure to stand in the driveway but it was apparent that whatever Lois discovered wasn't good news as far as Clark was concerned.

***

After another ten minutes of yelling back and forth, the occupants of the kitchen finally ran out of steam and were quiet just staring at each other. They stood on opposite sides of the room, both had their arms crossed, neither willing to give an inch.

Lois had a look of determination and defiance on her face and Clark knew he was losing this battle. She wouldn't listen, no matter what he said but he wouldn't give up. If he had to hammer it in to her every day until she returned, he'd make sure she knew it was her that he wanted.

Lois couldn't understand Clark's attitude. He may say that he loved her but it would always be Lana he wanted. She would never be second best to anyone. She wanted to be the star in her own love story, not the understudy. The chosen one, only picked because the guy couldn't have the girl he really wanted. And as she didn't love or want him either, she thought that he'd be at least a little grateful that she was willing to do this for him.

Clark knew he had to say something but what the hell could he say, he could see by the look on her face she hadn't change her mind but he thought he detected a slight softening around her eyes. He let his arms fall to his sides, rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and sighed before looking into her face again.

***

When it was finally quiet, the two ladies outside decided to venture back to the house and could only hope that the people within had calmed down. Unfortunately when they got to kitchen doorway they heard Clark speaking. The conversation wasn't over and they had come back to the house prematurely.

"_Lois, please listen to me and I mean really listen ok? I did get the woman I wanted, I'm engaged to the woman I want and love, YOU. Please can't you just try and understand?"_

"'_She's all I ever wanted', 'I can't imagine loving anyone else but her', 'I don't want anyone else but her'. Let me ask you Clark; does any of that sound familiar?" _

"_Fuck!"_

"_Wow, I didn't you had it in you to say that, gotta say I'm proud; but I'm guessing by your response that you do remember."_

Chloe and Martha looked at each other, silently nodded their heads back to the stairs and quietly tip toed back they way they came and over to the barn.

"Ok, until I see one of them emerge from the house, I'm not going back." Chloe said refusing to look Martha in the face.

"Yes, well I certainly wasn't expecting to hear any of that. I don't want to laugh but have to admit, hearing my son say that word certainly opened up my eyes." Martha replied.

"I…I know. I've heard him curse before but I've never heard him say that and her response was classic Lois." Chloe sniggered.

They looked at each other and started laughing. But once calmed down they felt guilty knowing the situation wasn't funny

"I feel so awful and I'm not laughing because it's funny, I'm really not, but ….."

"I know, I think we both just needed to let it out. Unfortunately Clark's dealing with a Lois who's just come from a time where Lana is the main thing on his mind and almost the only thing he talks about. And now he has to try and convince her that she's the one he wants." Martha said with a look of doubt on her face.

"And Lois could always get a rise out of him without trying overly hard but I don't get it. He told her about their relationship this morning, she was upset initially we both heard part of that but when she came back, she was smiling, she was happy. It's clear that something's gone wrong because their conversation's moved past the stage of her yelling at him and now they're yelling at each other instead."

"Well whatever she's found out it's managed to stir the business up again. They're both pretty passionate people. He's a little more even tempered than she is but when he feels as strongly about something as he does Lois and she's reminding him of his words and feelings regarding Lana, well I can imagine he'd get frustrated pretty fast. So now we just have to wait until one of them fills us in on what's happened." Martha said with a lopsided smile.

"Oh, this will be fun; they're arguing about Lana and remember who's coming to dinner tonight?" Chloe said shaking her head back and forth.

"You know, right now I want to say the same word my son said a few minutes ago."

"Yeah, right now I wanna join you."

***

When Clark came out of the house half an hour later and took to the skies the two ladies looked at each other and shrugged. They didn't know if anything had been resolved but by the quick look they got of his face, he appeared both angry and sad.

They didn't know whether to go into the house or not but decided they had to, they didn't know how long he'd be, if there was an emergency or if he was just leaving to cool off.

Walking back into the house they were surprised by the stillness, Lois was nowhere to be seen and they wondered if she had left through the front door and was walking around the fields, until they heard the unmistakable sound of footsteps upstairs.

"Ok, is one of us going to talk to her or do we wait until she comes down?" Chloe asked quietly before taking a seat at the kitchen island.

"I don't know, maybe you should go and talk to her and…." Martha whispered, taking the next stool.

"Why me, it's your son she's marrying and she's your daughter in law." Chloe whispered back. She did not want to face a pissed off Lois.

"Well you are her cousin and she's not my daughter in law yet." Martha quietly replied; she also didn't want to face an angry Lois.

"We're being ridiculous and really if we wait, give her time to calm down, she'll be a lot more amenable to anything we have to say." Chloe said quietly but cheerfully.

"Yes and ….." Martha broke off at the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Hi, I guess you kind of heard us yelling huh?" Lois asked with a self deprecating grin.

"We heard voices and only heard a tiny little bit of your conversation I promise. We thought you were finished and when we realised you weren't, we beat a hasty retreat back to the barn." Chloe cautiously but bravely replied.

Lois swept her gaze over them and seeing the sheepish expression on their faces, started laughing. When asked what was so funny, she told them between bouts of laughter that she'd had a mental picture of them running for dear life, away from the two angry beasts, causing laughter to erupt between all of them.

"I think I really needed that, so thanks." Lois said after getting her laughter under control.

"No problem, but care to tell us what happened, when we left you were smiling but within five minutes you and Clark were yelling." Chloe wanted to know what was going on, admittedly she was curious but she also needed to know what Lois had discovered that had so upset Clark.

When Lois told them her theory of why she was there and that she wanted their help in going back with her memory to 'fix' things, both ladies hearts dropped. Neither of them could think of anything to say.

God this was so much worse then she thought, no wonder Clark was angry, sad and frustrated. Chloe really couldn't help but feel for him, her cousin was one of the most stubborn people she knew and when she got an idea into her head, she wouldn't budge from it.

Martha didn't know what to say, she hurt for her son, she hurt for Lois. Lois was confused and scared and so was holding onto the only thing she knew, that Clark loved Lana and always would. She wasn't ready to face the fact that she and Clark had grown up and loved each other. If this happened, if Lois did go back and change everything, Clark may not know about it, he may not realise his life had taken a turn that he didn't want but he wouldn't be happy and he'd always know that something wasn't right.

When neither spoke, Lois knew that they didn't agree with her but hoped they also wouldn't start yelling. She hated to upset Mrs Kent and she hated when Chloe and she were fighting but on this she wouldn't give in because she knew she was right. Finally she shrugged, said she was going for a lie down and retreated back up the stairs.

The kitchen was quiet. Neither knew what to say and so just sat staring vacantly at nothing. Finally they faced each other and knew the look of dismay they could see on others face, was reflected on their own. They once again nodded their heads to go outside, neither wanted to speak in case Lois was listening.

Once they reached the barn loft, they let loose.

"Ok, this is bad, this is so so bad, what are we gonna do?" Chloe couldn't sit sill, instead she paced around the loft.

"We need to talk to Clark; I can only imagine what's going through his mind right now." Martha replied, taking a seat on the couch.

"God, I want to shake her, I want to shake some sense into her but it's not her fault, she's basing her belief of Clarks never ending love for Lana on what she knows, but what she knows is now eight years old." Chloe was frustrated, like Clark she wanted to yell, instead she could only think of one word and said it silently but forcefully in her mind 'FUCK!!'

"I know. I'm hurting for both of them but mostly for Clark. Not because he's my son but because he was happy and everything he's worked so hard for can so easily be taken from him. Lois just doesn't understand; she hasn't lived the last eight years of her life, she's skipped them but if she goes back and changes thing ….."

"You'll end up with Lana for a daughter in law." Chloe smiled wryly.

"Lana's a nice girl but not the one I want for my boy. I've never seen Clark so happy as he is with Lois, they really do belong together and I can't help but feel that if Lois gets her way and he does marry Lana, he'll come to regret it soon afterwards." Martha said troubled.

"He will regret it. I remember when he was with Lana, he was happy for a short time before the usual gloom and misery spread over them again. And I don't just mean because he regained his powers, Lana and Clark don't belong together, she always brought out the negative side to his personality." Chloe stated.

"Yes, I have to agree, he and Lana were mostly miserable together. From the time he was a boy to the time he left, when he spoke about Lana it wasn't with a light heart or happiness. He usually referred to her in the same sentence, that he didn't want to be alone or different. Often after spending any time with her, he'd come home depressed because she'd been demanding answers which just made him feel more of an outsider than ever. Unfortunately she brought out the…. I don't want to say negative side to his personality, but he could be so melancholy. There was very little happiness between them, simply because they didn't fit but refused to see it." Martha concluded.

"Lois on the other hand is good for him. She never lets him get away with anything, but she also knows how to be there as a silent support without demanding explanations or pushing him into things he doesn't want to do and she makes him happy."

"Oh Lois is very good for him, Jonathan and I came to love her very quickly, not only because of who she is but because when she was around, even back in his Lana days, she made Clark feel a little lighter and got him to laugh when no one else could. She didn't even try, she'd just do or say something, that he'd find funny or annoying and they'd tease each other but it was enough to make him feel less different, if only for a little while." Martha ran her hand through her hair, stood up and walked to the loft window to gaze outside. She turned back around to find Chloe had taken her seat on the couch and she smiled before continuing.

"You know when Clark first came back and told me he was working with you and Lois at the Daily Planet, he didn't have to tell me he loved her, I could hear it in his voice and even when he couldn't get her to go out with him and was upset by that, he wasn't despondent for long. Oh he longed for her but it wasn't said in the same way as he used to do with Lana. And even though she was unaware of his feelings, she loved him and treated him like a friend, he knew he was special to her and he was still happy, do you know what I mean?"

"Yeah I do, after he asked her out the first time and she said no, we were talking in his apartment one night and although I could see he was down that she'd refused, he didn't have the same air of misery around him that was so blatant back in the day. She was still in his life and she loved him, hell she was in love with Superman and I think that took a huge weight of his mind; that she'd be able to accept the 'alien' side of him, if he ever managed to catch her that was. He wasn't about to give up on her and you should have heard him talk about her, I've never heard him talk about anyone in the same way." Chloe smiled in remembrance.

"I know, he did the same thing with me, when he spoke about Lois he always had a smile in his voice. He was down, naturally about her refusal to go out with him and her feelings for Superman but even then, I think it helped him to know that with Lois he found not only someone he loved but someone who would love all of him, not just the bits and pieces she wanted."

"I think he was happy because Lois and he were friends, real friends. Lana and Clark skipped the friendship stage. They said they were friends but they weren't. How could they be? He had Lana on a pedestal before he even talked to her. He thought she was perfect and he pined for her and she ....well, she knew how he felt and took advantage of his feelings. They were _**never**_ friends. They said they were and pretended they were but I think they just used their 'friendship' as way of keeping each other in their lives. He in the hopes she'd eventually go out with him and she....well because I think she enjoyed his adoration." Chloe said candidly. "It was only after he came back from his training that they really became friends and that was because feelings were no longer in the way. Don't get me wrong, I liked Lana but I wasn't nuts about her so I could see what she was doing and I knew what Clark was doing because just as he hoped Lana would turn to him, I hoped he'd turn to me. The difference was that Clark and I _were_ friends. I didn't see it then but looking back it's easy to see their friendship wasn't real. I thought it was, despite all the feelings they had but I think Clark would now agree that it wasn't."

Martha nodded in accord. She'd thought the same thing but hadn't ever said it. How could she; Clark would never have listened. When he was younger he thought Lana was his destiny, that they belonged together. She'd tried several times to tell him that Lana wasn't the girl for him but he wouldn't listen. It was only after he came back that she knew he was finally over his Lana fixation and was glad that stage of his life could be put behind them and no longer worth mentioning.

Martha joined Chloe on the couch and two sat in silence for a while.

"You should have heard him when he called to tell me she asked him to marry her." She turned and smiled at Chloe.

"You should have heard him, when he told me that she loved him" Chloe smiled back. "I had barely gotten my purse in my drawer at work, when this whirlwind came through, grabbed me, twirled me around and practically ran with me into the conference room, he was like a little kid at Christmas, he couldn't stop smiling, my own face my sore by the time he finished."

"Where was Lois?" Martha asked.

"She hadn't come in yet, he'd come in early because he'd gotten a Superman call, so just came straight to work but I swear, the way he looked and talked, I thought he was going to burst into song." Chloe laughed.

"I know what you mean, he dropped in to see me the day after her revelation, he was smiling from ear to ear, and floated me all through the kitchen and living room, then he sat me down on the couch, held my hand and he told me. He cried; he was so happy he cried and I cried with him." Martha smiled remembering how happy he was. When he'd gone back to work, she'd walked over to Jonathan's photo, smiled, traced his face and told him their boy was going to be alright, their boy was happy and she wished he could have been there to see it, then like any normal silly mother she'd cried again.

Chloe and Martha continued sharing stories and reminisce.

"When he told me that she wanted to break up but he'd talked her into staying together I have to admit I was worried. I couldn't help feeling they would both end up resentful and miserable. I tried to talk him out of it, I tried to tell him he should let her go and maybe she'd come back to him but he wouldn't listen. He just told me he loved her. He had no expectations that she'd ever love him back but he couldn't give her up."

"When they came here for Christmas a few weeks later and I saw them, it was ….I can't describe it. But I've never been so happy to be wrong and was glad he hadn't listened to me." Martha smiled before continuing "I'd seen them together since they started dating of course but that was before he declared himself and I couldn't help but worry that she would be holding him off, or pushing him away. Instead what I found was that she made sure he knew he was special to her." Martha shook her head and lightly laughed "She made him an apple pie, remember his rum birthday cake years ago?" at Chloe's nod, Martha continued "…well this was worse. I was watching carefully the whole time she was preparing it but poor Lois was never one for cooking and when she brought the pie out, it was misshapen, the filling was gooey from being overcooked, and it tasted kind of like… glue."

The two ladies laughed.

"And poor Clark, when he found out there was apple pie for desert he was smiling in anticipation, when he found out Lois made it, the smile on his face became fixed and his eyes had a look of sheer terror. Then he took the first bite and I don't know how I stopped myself from laughing. He shuffled the bite he'd taken from one side of his mouth to the other, trying to put of having to swallow as long as possible but when she started cutting a piece for herself, he gamely swallowed and protested that he thought the pie was for him; he just couldn't let her taste it. She teased him about being greedy but he just smiled back, grabbed my plate and shovelled in both pieces by super-speed, then spent the next few minutes praising the pie to the heavens."

Martha paused and chuckled in remembrance before continuing "She was so pleased but insisted that he share with me. I had to bite my check so I wouldn't laugh at the look of panic on his face but after trying the first bite was more than happy to lie and tell her I was really too full to eat anything more. When she left the room, he quietly told me he was afraid she was trying to poison him. I asked him if he was happy, I could see it but I'm his mother and needed to hear him say it. He said he was, that she was always doing little things, nothing obvious, or corny, that's not Lois but just little things, like trying to make him an apple pie that wasn't fit for human or dog consumption." By the time she finished the story, they both had big grins on their faces.

"I know what you mean. I work with them and spend time with them and seeing them together…" Chloe lightly shook her head "…Clark, well we all know how he felt and the guy's a romantic, you could see how happy he was that she was with him. There really isn't anything he wouldn't do for her. Lois is the more practical of the two. She'd get him lunch when he was doing Superman duty or just brush his shoulder with her hand when she walked past his desk and she always kept his favourite coffee at her place. She can be pretty sappy; she just tries to hide it from everyone but him."

Chloe smiled mistily "Did he tell you about the time she stole his flannel shirt?" at Martha's head shake she continued "It was shortly after she fell in love with him. He'd gone out in the middle of the night on a Superman call and when he came back she was wearing his shirt. She first told him she wore it because it kept her warm when he was gone but later confessed that she liked to wear it when he was being Superman and she didn't know where he was because there was nothing on the news. She said it made her feel close to him, that it made her feel like he'd be alright but before he could reply she got embarrassed and told him to shut up. He was so tickled that he had to tell someone but swore me to secrecy to never let Lois know that he told me." Chloe stopped and sighed "They'd really be lost without each other. Together they're just ….." she wanted to say the word but felt stupid so just trailed of and lifted her hands in a shrug.

"Magic." Martha put in.

"Magic." Chloe nodded in agreement.

The two ladies lapsed into silence. They were both so lost in thought that neither heard Clark until he was almost standing in front of them.

***

"Hi, sorry I was gone so long, I just wanted to fly around and think for a while."

"We spoke to Lois, she told us her theory about why she believes she's here and what she wants to do, how are you holding up?" Chloe asked

"Not too good if you want the truth. I just couldn't take much more of her half backed ideas about getting me back with Lana, so I lied, told her there was an emergency and had to leave." He smiled sadly.

"Well I can't say I blame you, after she told us, we couldn't think of anything to say either." Chloe shrugged.

Clark walked over to the window and looked out "I know we agreed no more negative talk but damn it" he said quietly but forcefully "I tried to explain, I tried to tell her how I feel, what I want, that I love her, that I don't love Lana but nothing gets through. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" He said quietly.

"Clark…."

He turned around, crossed his arms over his chest, leant back against the window frame and faced both women "Chloe she's absolutely convinced I'm only with her because I didn't get back with Lana and she's only with me because she never met anyone else. She thinks we settled for each other and you know what she's like. She's younger but she's still Lois, still stubborn and pigheaded and she's convinced herself she's going to be saving both of us from a life time of misery."

"I know but Clark when she was sent back last time, she had no memory of being here, so we just have to figure out how we did it last time and do it again."

"And what if we can't, what if we screw up and she goes back remembering everything?"

"I….I don't know."

Clark rubbed his hands over his face, then came over and sat on the table facing the couch "What am I going to do? Lois isn't interested in us or our life. I made such a fool of myself over Lana, and because Lois was around for a lot of it, no matter what I say now, she's convinced that Lana is the love of my life. And to make matters worse, Lois was never interested in me romantically. I had to get her to notice me, I had to push and pursue her and you know how long it took just to get her to go out with me, and even longer again for her to love me." He reached into his pocket and took out the engagement ring he'd picked up from the table, looking at it his face was one of total misery.

"She said she doesn't love me, never has and never will and doesn't believe that I really love her. She thinks at best, that I and her older self; who she calls Joanne by the way…" At the quick laughter in both women's eyes, he stopped and lifted his hand "…don't say it, I already have. Anyway she thinks we're just kidding ourselves and only _**think**_ we love each other, and how can I blame her for that? All she's used to hearing is me going on and on about how much I love Lana. God what a farce, if Lois goes back with her memories, I could very well end up married to Lana. Because I remember what I was like then and Lois is right, I _**will**_ be grateful to her for getting me back with Lana. Lois, the WOMAN I love more than anyone or anything in the world, is determined to go back and get me married to the GIRLI carried a torch for when I was just a kid." The little humour they'd felt was gone. It was clear the situation had taken a toll on him, his face was strained, he was trying not to give into despair but it obviously wasn't easy.

"When I reminded her that Lana and I were usually miserable, she said...." He trailed off and rubbed his fingers over his brow.

"What?" Chloe encouraged.

"She said she knows. She said that she's never seen two people who revelled in being miserable more; that were only ever happy when we were heartbroken. I told her that didn't make any sense and she agreed but said it was still true."

He looked up and gave a short humourless laugh before continuing "Then she said, god… she said…didn't I pant after Lana for years and yet after all my pining for her, I dumped her after only a few months, then sat in the loft staring at her picture, wearing a pathetic expression on my face. That I must have known Lana would run to some other guy, but I didn't even try to get her back or fix our relationship, until _**after**_ she was with Lex." He put the ring back in his pocket, scrubbed his hands over his face, over his neck and got up to pace around the loft.

Neither of the women said anything, they couldn't think of anything to say. He clearly had to get this out and just needed someone to listen.

"I tried to stop her, tried to interrupt but she just ignored me and said that Lana and I enjoyed being miserable in our relationship. That we got off on making up reasons for not being together. That it was our THING." He took a deep breath before continuing "I couldn't think of anything to say in my defence because from her point of view, everything she said was right. We both did that and Lois had a front row seat to most of it and still does. At this point in her life, that's what's happening right now; THAT'S what she's just come from."

He came and sat down on the table once again. His face was a picture of misery and sadness "She said that if I knew her so well, then I'd know she's not like that. She wasn't interested in having a relationship, where the people involved spent more time creating tragic reasons for why they can't be together, than in actually working together to build a relationship. She wasn't interested in playing Juliet to my Romeo." He stopped and gave a pathetic attempt at a smile before continuing "She said that she wouldn't have the patience to pep me up every other day because I'm down, or depressed, or in a funk. That she'd soon get fed up and tell me to take a hike, then I'd call her insensitive and we'd end up like two cats that fight all the time."

"I'm sorry honey." Martha leaned forward and softly began to rub Clark's arm, she couldn't stand to see the hurt and despondency in her son's eyes but she couldn't do anything to help him, just listen.

"So am I. I tried to tell her I've changed, that I'm not the boy she knows, but I made such an idiot of myself displaying my misery to all and sundry, that Lois just doesn't believe anything I say about…..well, most anything really." He finished sadly, slowly nodding his head.

"She said that all she could see in our future were two people who would spend their life fighting and end up hating each other. That soon after the marriage I'd regret not marrying Lana and would blame her for it, or she'd blame me forever talking her into our relationship."

"If she goes back remembering her time here, I'll end up married to Lana and feel trapped in a loveless marriage. And if Lois doesn't go back, she'll still be 20 and won't want me, or want to give us a chance. I'm trying to be understanding but I waited so long for Lois and now this has happened. And it's much worse than when I first saw her at Planet again and had to win her over, at least then she had several years to blunt all the Lana crap. And being older helped because she saw my teenage idiocy for what it was. And it was NEVER the reason she held me off, but now she's just from there and goddamn it, I'm scared, terrified I'm going to lose her."

Clark took another deep breath, he could feel his throat closing up, and knew he was losing the battle with his emotions "I want MY Lois back, the woman who knows our life, who knows how much I love her and who loves me. I'm scared mom, if I ever lost Lois, I'd be losing the biggest and best part of myself." His eyes overflowed and tears started to rain down his face. He finally just sat on the floor, buried his face in his moms lap and cried for all that could be taken from him.

Chloe motioned to Martha that she'd give the two of them some privacy and then quietly went down the stairs and out the barn.

Martha Kent hated to see her son so upset, so heartbroken and afraid, he was usually so strong, he had to be being Superman but she understood that took a different kind of strength. Not physical strength but emotional strength, every day seeing the damage and hurt humans could inflict on each other and not become cynical because of it. But Lois was his weakness, she was his Achilles' heel, he was vulnerable to Lois in a way he wasn't to anyone else. So she let him cry and get it all out, just rubbing one hand over his back and threading the fingers of her other hand through his hair. She wanted to cry with him but knew she had to be strong.

When he finally lay still and quiet she tugged until he was sitting next to her on the couch, then held his hands in both of hers.

"Give her time honey; she's got a lot to deal with. I know you do too sweetie, I do know that but Lois is clearly out of her depth. She's only 20 and she's scared. You've lived the past eight years, you've experienced everything but she hasn't." She stopped to smooth down his hair.

He looked so much like he had when he was seven and his pet gold fish died. He had crawled into her lap, put his head on her shoulder and cried bitterly about losing his fish. He was a man now but he still needed his mom and she was glad that she could be there for him. Then she raised his chin, wiped her fingers over his cheeks and made him look into her eyes.

"But Clark, Lois was wrong. I want you to remember that and hang onto it, no matter how bleak things look now. Lois, our Lois does love you. It was a long time coming and you had to be patient but you didn't give up on her or the two of you before, don't give up on the two of you now. What we have to do is send her back without her memories, even if it means lying to her about doing that." She kept her voice firm. She needed him to remember that his Lois loved him, and also that despite what she and Jonathan had taught him, sometimes lying was necessary and this was one of those times.

When he nodded and smiled she knew he was going to be alright. He had to get all that bottled up anger and fear out, and now that he had they could start to work on a solution.

Clark hated lying to Lois. He'd never lied about anything important since he told her he loved her but this time he would. This time he'd lie through his teeth if it meant letting her think he would help find a solution to send her back, with or without her memories. He was fighting for his happiness, for their happiness and just as he wouldn't give her up when she tried to break up with him, he wouldn't give up now.


	8. Chapter 8

It's true that Lois is looking for any excuse to dump Clark but it's understandable. Don't forget this is S6 Lois, so she and Clark have never been interested in each other romantically, neither does she have any memories of her life with him. So the poor girls been thrown into the deep end, and is now being faced with an engagement to a guy that she's never wanted, and who's only ever talked to her about how nutso he is over Lana.

If you want to read the whole story now (be prepared cause it's very long), the site it's posted on is Divine Intervention (if you don't know it, it's a Lois/Clark S'ville site and has a lot of very good stories). Regression is in the Serial Fan Fiction section on/about pg 15. I tried to copy and past the URL and it woudn't save. I tried typing it out and it still won't save. I typed in **Divine Intervention Lois & Clark Smallville** into my firefox browser, and it was the second choice on the list. If anyone knows how I can paste the URL so that it will save, let me know and I'll happily supply it.

Below is the next bit if you don't want to go to DI.

Linda

**

**Chapter 8**

"Honey, I'm just going to call Chloe back in, can you please take a peek in on Lois. She said she was going to take a nap but that was after she told us her idea and I want to make sure she's alright?"

"Sure mom, I'll be back in a minute." Clark replied before speeding away.

Chloe had just returned to her seat in the loft when Clark reappeared "How is she?"

"She's sleeping; I took her shoes off and covered her up with a light blanket to make her a little more comfortable."

"Good. Ok, the first thing we need to do is make sure that Lois doesn't think we're all against her. It's safe to say she knows we don't agree with her idea, but I don't want her to think that we're all going to gang up on her." Martha stated.

"I agree, she's going through enough, the last thing she needs right now is to believe she can't come and talk to us." Chloe put in.

"Agreed, if she wants to talk or vent, we're here for her but I just can't stomach anymore Clark loves Lana sh….crap." He replied with a quick apologetic look at his mom.

"No, but when she does do that, you can just calmly let her know that's all in the past or ….."

"Or what?"

"Or you can just turn the conversation around and give her a story about the two of you; that should shut her up pretty fast." Chloe laughed.

"Thanks." Clark responded dryly.

"I also think we need to make sure Lois doesn't tell Lana her theory." Martha softly put forward.

"God no, Lana'd be really embarrassed. The two of you have been over for a long time and the last thing she needs is to be reminded of the mess the two of you were."

"Thanks Chlo" Clark chuckled "…but I agree. It would only embarrass Lana if Lois started talking about getting us back together, she doesn't deserve to be put into that position and god knows I don't want to be." He paused "So how are we going to make sure she doesn't say anything?" He asked looking at the two women.

"I'll tell her. You know Lois and I can talk about anything. If you try she'll just think you're just trying to win her over, so I'll do it. I'll just remind her that now, is eight years from where she was, and Lana wouldn't welcome hearing about the two of you getting back together, I think she'll understand." Chloe patted Clarks leg, then sat back before continuing "Ok, all the same players are here, except for Lex and I don't think he was involved. Aside from the fact that I doubt he'd be able to keep it too himself for so long, not without wanting something in exchange for helping her, especially since he'd have to be blind not to know that Superman would do anything to protect Lois, he never wasted too much time…if any actually trying to hurt her. He was too busy focusing on you and Lana." she said candidly "So it's a good thing Lana's coming to dinner, because we can talk about what we did or didn't find eight years ago and one of us might remember something that the rest of us missed."

Martha and Clark nodded their heads in agreement.

'Well I'd better go and start dinner and Clark; you may want to start thinking about where you're going to sleep tonight. You could bring a mattress and blankets up here, or just sleep on the floor in the living room." Martha smiled and headed down the stairs.

"Great, thanks mom." Clark wryly remarked then turned to face a smiling Chloe "It's not funny, I've gotten used to sleeping with Lois and that's certainly out of the question now….right?"

"Uh yeah, Clark, I think you could say that that's out of the question."

"I thought so, but you know what they say, where there's life, there's hope." He shrugged.

"Uh huh, I have a feeling there won't be much life left for you, if you try crawling into the bed with Lois tonight."

"Thanks Chlo, you always know just how to make me feel better." He said smiling.

***

When Lois woke up she noticed it was dark and decided that she must really have needed the nap. While showering she couldn't help wonder what had happened while she was asleep and what kind of reception she was going to get when she went downstairs.

The last time she'd seen Clark they were still arguing before he had to leave to help someone and Chloe and Mrs Kent didn't seem too thrilled with her idea of going back and changing things.

She didn't want to argue with anyone, she really didn't but knew if they tried to talk her out of it she wouldn't be able to help herself. If they didn't bring it up neither would she. She knew how to keep secrets and her own counsel, she'd done just that most of her life but these were people she felt close too and she didn't want to get into further argument.

While dressing she decided to take her cue from them. If they appeared disapproving or tried to brow beat her into their way of thinking then all bets were off. Neither of the Kent's were the brow beating type but they did know how to heap the emotional guilt on a person, usually it to was help but this time it was her life and her happiness that at stake so guilt wouldn't work.

Ok it had already worked a little bit. She felt lousy for upsetting everyone, she didn't enjoy conflict but it wasn't something she ran from either.

Right now Clark believed he loved her and whether he did or not really made no difference. If you **believed** you loved someone, it hurt when you found out you were wrong. It hurt your heart and your self confidence knowing you had invested so much of yourself in a mistake, and it was even worse if the other person really did love you.

No doubt he thought she was being a selfish bitch. She probably was but she'd rather be that for a few days, then to be an eyesore to him for life. Someone he couldn't even bear to look at when he realised that he was tied to her but still loved another.

It was far better that he be hurt a little now, then for both of them to suffer once the die was cast and they were stuck with each other. Besides if her plan worked it would only be for a few more days then everything would be changed and he wouldn't even remember all of this.

After taking a deep breath she headed for the bedroom door to find what awaited her downstairs.

**

"Ok, Lois is awake and in the shower, Lana's going to be here in an hour, so I'm going to go up to talk to her in a little while." Chloe said to Martha.

Martha just nodded "If Clark gets back before you come down, I'll let him know that you're talking to Lois".

After feeling that she'd given Lois sufficient time to dress, Chloe headed for the stairs. Pausing outside the bedroom door, she quickly recited the arguments she'd marshalled should Lois not co-operate and knocked.

When Lois opened the door moments later the two women just stared at each other before breaking out into smiles.

"Hey, can I come in? I need to talk to you about something."

"Sure, but I was just coming down." Lois' heart sank; when Chloe smiled she'd thought it was going to be alright but now wasn't so sure.

"I know, but I wanted to talk to you privately. I promise I'm not here to argue or harangue you, I really do just want to talk." Chloe said seeing the wary look in Lois' eyes.

"Umm so what'd you want to talk about?" Lois asked taking a seat beside Chloe on the bed.

"About your theory of getting Clark and Lana back together….no, no, Lo, I promise, I'm not here to argue" she quickly said when Lois opened her mouth to retort "It's just that this is 8 years from where you were yesterday and we thought if you told Lana, she might become uncomfortable with the idea, so please don't tell her what you want to do."

"Ok."

"That's it, you're not going to argue about it, or say anything to her." Chloe responded doubtfully.

"I'm not Chloe. Look I get it alright, its 8 years later and although I think I'm right, at this point in time neither of them will. So I'll keep it between us but if Lana says anything that makes me think she wants Clark back then I will tell her."

"Lo, Lana won't do or say anything like that, she and Clark broke up a long time ago and I she doesn't think of him like that anymore."

"Maybe, maybe not."

"When you were talking to her today, did she give you the impression that that was what she wanted?"

"No but no matter how happy she is with her life she's still alone. Lana needs a boyfriend to be happy, that's just the way she is. And you know me Chlo, I was happy if I had a relationship going with a great guy but I didn't need one to be satisfied with my life. Clark and Lana do, that's all he ever talks about and that's all she's ever looked for."

"Maybe she did then, but she's changed Lo, she's not the insecure girl she used to be. I think marriage to Lex cured her of jumping from one relationship to another. She's been back nearly two years now and although she dates occasionally, she's not as needy as before. She really has grown up." Chloe said

"Well I only spent about an hour or so with her and I think I need longer than that to believe it but I won't say anything to her." Lois smiled.

"Thankyou" Chloe reached forward and the two hugged "I love you cuz." She whispered in Lois' ear.

"I love you too."

"I just want to say this and I then won't ever mention it again. You and Clark really do love each other Lo, I don't think there's anything either of you wouldn't do for the other. If you ever want to talk about it, or if you want to hear about the two of you from an outsider's point of view you can talk to me, Ok?" Chloe wanted Lois to understand that no matter what, she'd always be there for her.

"Ok, thanks Chlo, I might just take you up on that. But before I do, you'll have to tell me how you took it. I mean right now in my time you may be with Jimmy but it's still kind of obvious that you carry a little torch for the farmboy." Lois teased.

"Torch, I was pathetic but I got over it a long time ago. Long before the two of you got together and I was very very happy when you finally did." Chloe laughed.

"Now that I find hard to believe, the last time you thought I was trying to steal Clark away from you, you came at me with a wrench." She laughed back.

"Lo, I was under a love spell and not to be held accountable for my insane, twisted mind warp."

"Sure sure, I think you just enjoyed belting me one."

"Well I gotta say, it did have a certain appeal." She replied tongue in check.

"This town and the crazies that live here and I became one of them. Hopefully I'm still sane."

"Well… I always wondered, after all how could you not fall for the tall, gangly farmboy that a lot of other girls did."

"You mean all the deranged, needy, or nutso girls right? They're the ones that fell for him." Lois snorted.

"Oh, thank you, so you think I'm deranged, needy and nutso huh, very nice indeed." Chloe replied mock wrathfully.

"Well….I've always wondered." Lois replied tongue in cheek.

The two laughed, shared one last hug and proceeded out the bedroom and down the stairs.

***

When Clark came back a few minutes after Chloe had retreated upstairs Martha let him know where she was.

He was tempted to listen in but knew that would be an invasion of privacy so kept himself busy setting the table and talking to his mom about the fire he'd helped put out in downtown Metropolis.

When Lois and Chloe came down ten minutes later, he could see that she was no longer angry and resolved not to do or say anything that could set either of her or himself off.

"She's fine and has agreed not to say anything to Lana." Chloe said quickly.

"Thank you." Clark smiled at Lois hoping she could see that he sincerely was grateful.

"Sure, is there anything I can do to help Mrs Kent?" Lois asked

"First honey, please call me Martha, you have for several years now and it seems strange to be called Mrs Kent again." Martha smiled hoping to take the sting out of any reproof Lois might feel.

"I'll try but this is all so weird, that I'll probably slip up now and again." Lois said and reached for a carrot stick before taking a bite.

Before anyone else could speak, there was a knock on the door and Lana was quickly ushered into the warmth of the house.

"Hi, I hope my coming was ok, Martha?" She asked giving everyone a quick smile in greeting.

"Of course it is; you know you're always welcome here and I think that this is a good idea, we can all have a nice relaxing meal and then talk about things. Now Clark can you please carry the roast to the table, and if everyone else can grab something, we can all sit down and eat" Martha said, causing a stream of people to move back and forth, carting vegetables, bread and the like to the dining room before everyone sat down.

Dinner was quiet, it wasn't a tense silence for which everyone was grateful; it was the kind of quiet where good food and company were appreciated. Afterwards they all pitched in to help clean up, then took their after dinner coffee in the living room.

Clark wanted to sit beside Lois but didn't want her to think he was trying to encroach on her personal space, so sat in one of the armchairs instead. He couldn't help but dwell on the previous night, how different everything was then. He'd sat on the couch with Lois curled up next to him, he'd been absently playing with her hair and she'd been twining and playing with his fingers. Usually they kept any kind of affectionate behaviour for when they were by themselves, but last night was different, everyone had been relaxed and happy, talking about the coming engagement party, he'd seen his mom and Chloe smiling at seeing them together and when Lois fell asleep on him, he'd carried her up to bed.

He'd come back down after undressing her and then he, his mom and Chloe had sat talking for another hour before he quickly flew back to Metropolis to retrieve the necklace Lois had forgotten. When he came back he'd gone straight up to their room, undressed, climbed into bed, curled himself around her and had fallen asleep with her in his arms. He wondered if he'd ever feel that again.

***

They talked for a couple of hours, discarding one theory after another, trying to remember any detail, no matter how small but the conversation finally petered out, when it was clear that no one had anything new to add. Finally Lois and Martha excused themselves and went to bed.

"Well if you two don't mind, I'm going to get my laptop and search on the internet. I know it's a long shot but at the moment it's the only thing we have." Chloe said.

"That's fine Chlo, I might as well start making up my bed in the barn." Cark replied with a grimace of distaste.

"I'll help you," holding up her hand to forestall an argument she continued "I know you don't need help Superman, you can do it faster than I can blink but I want to help, so please let me." Lana asked seeing that Clark was about to refuse.

"Ok, thanks, I guess it's not something I need to do at super speed, I'm not exactly in a hurry to go to bed." He replied with a shrug and half smile.

After getting the blankets from the cupboard she walked to the barn and started up the stairs when Clark came down and took them from her hands "Here why don't I take those, you'll probably end up tripping and either spraining an ankle or worse and this day which started out so crappy, can then end up even crappier"

They made the bed in silence, taking their time to smooth the sheets and blankets on and once done Lana sat on the edge and patted the mattress for Clark to sit beside her. Instead he walked over to the couch and gestured for her to follow.

"So how are you holding up?" She took a seat beside him and quirked an eyebrow in question.

"Not so good, Lois doesn't love me because she's not my Lois and she isn't interested in hearing about our relationship. Let's just say I've had better days, like when I've been hit with Kryptonite for example." He replied smiling crookedly.

"When she told me I was shocked."

"Yeah."

"Before I came tonight, I had no idea that she's the same Lois that was in the Medical Centre all those years ago."

"She didn't tell you?"

"No, she just said she was 20 and I didn't put it together."

"Ironic isn't it. Right now back there we're all scratching our heads wondering what's wrong and hey, here she is."

"I remember you and I weren't talking much then but we were still worried enough about her to put our differences aside and work together."

"I know, but back there it was you that was on my mind more than anything. Don't misunderstand, I was concerned about Lois, but your upcoming marriage was still kind of front and centre. I was trying to find out what was wrong with Lois and at the same time trying to stop you from marrying Lex."

"It's kind of strange and creepy at the same time. I wish I could go back and stop myself from getting married and making the biggest mistake of my life."

"Humm, I want to go back and kick my younger self's ass." He said without humour

"Why?"

"Because I didn't realise then how much the woman lying in the Medical Centre was going to mean to me. I'm scared Lana, I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose her, we figured it out before but what if we can't this time."

"You're not going to lose her Clark but if you did, you'll get through it; you're a survivor." She replied pulling him into a hug.

"Not without her I won't." He countered shaking his head and pulling out of her arms.

"Love's a funny thing isn't it? It can be the most beautiful and the most destructive emotion in the world."

"Yeah it is and yet we can't live without it." He replied then turned his face towards the loft window.

***

When Lois climbed into bed she wasn't sleepy, after all she'd napped not long ago but she needed to be by herself to think and to let her mind replay both the dinner and after conversation in her head.

Lana had so nearly fooled her. When Lana said she didn't want Clark back; that all she felt for him was nostalgia she'd really believed her. She had no idea that Lana was such a good actress but she'd been completely snowed until she saw her with Clark tonight.

It was _obvious_ that Lana was in love with Clark and would jump at the chance to get him back. How on earth could no one see it? The only thing she was missing in her in her adoration of the guy was her cheerleading outfit and a megaphone.

Lana couldn't keep her eyes of Clark, she tried, she really tried to act as if all she felt was friendship and that was what gave her away. She tried too hard.

She'd promised Chloe she wouldn't say anything and she meant to keep that unless Lana said something to her first, but that seemed unlikely given that she'd already lied.

What she couldn't figure out was Clark's part in this drama. Usually if he became the slightest bit interested in someone, Lana only had to flick him a glance and he went running back to her.

Had he boxed himself in this time, gotten engaged before Lana made her feelings clear and now felt trapped? He didn't seem they type of guy to throw over a fiancé as easily as a girlfriend? Especially not a fiancé that was the cousin of one of his best friends, a fiancé that was his partner at work and a fiancé his mother cared about.

He could be hanging onto their relationship because he thought it was better than being alone. Hadn't that always been one of his biggest fears, ending up alone and because she wasn't just some random girl but someone who was inextricably linked to his life, he and Lana could be thinking they had to be scrupulous in their behaviour. Lana pretending that she didn't love him and he pretending that he was happy in an engagement he no longer wanted, but felt honour bound to play out to the bitter end.

But that really didn't ring true either. Lana said that he kidnapped her and tried to get her to marry him instead of Lex, so an engagement wouldn't exactly stop him from going after what he wanted. It might be an inconvenience but nothing more.

Guilt would stop him. Guilt was Clark's constant friend, and if he was having second thoughts about being engaged, he'd be full of remorse and would more than likely despise himself for talking her into the relationship, only to realise too late it was Lana that he wanted, which would just make him all the more determined to go through with the marriage no matter how distasteful.

She could try and explain that if he was having second thoughts that he wasn't to blame. He couldn't help it if he changed his mind. An engagement was intended as a cooling off period so the couple involved could be sure that they were marrying the right person.

God, this was all so ridiculous. She now had an emotional minefield to manoeuvre through. Before it was simple, fix their lives by fixing the past, now it seemed she might have to play Oprah to the pair of them. Why couldn't they just talk openly and honestly with each other? Why did they always have to do this, get involved with someone else only to realise it was each other they still wanted. She'd just left that saga, was dumped 8 years in the future and it was still going on. Only this time the roles were reversed, and Clark was engaged instead of Lana.

Chloe believed that she and Clark really loved each other but an outsider's perspective wasn't always reliable. Any number of sins could be hidden behind closed doors.

How many people fooled those closest to them, pretending they were happy with their life and partners only to shock everyone when it came out they'd been bitterly unhappy. How many of her girlfriends had cried on her shoulder when they found out their boyfriends didn't love them or they claimed to love them but had cheated anyway. It was a devastating blow that wasn't easy to recover from. And she and Clark already had one strike against them. She didn't love him and couldn't imagine ever doing so.

She just didn't know what as real or who was telling the truth.

Lana had lied but that didn't mean that he was lying as well. He didn't seem to be harbouring any feelings for Lana that she could see but who knew with the two of them.

He could be telling the truth, flat out lying or just convinced himself that he had moved on.

The two of them had played games for so long, not only with each other but dragging everyone else into the mix about their feelings, that she just couldn't trust either of them.

The only person in this triangle that she was sure of was herself. She didn't love him, and she didn't want them to get married only to find themselves living in a hell of their own making. He forever regretting not being with Lana and she meeting the man she was always supposed to be with, but couldn't because she was already taken.

For now she'd have to play it by ear. Maybe she could feel Clark out, hint that if he wanted Lana he could go to her with a clear conscience. After all he wouldn't be hurting her and she knew herself well enough to know that even if Joanne really did love him, she'd rather know before the wedding than afterwards that she wasn't the bride he wanted.

Turning over in bed she finally fell asleep after deciding to let tomorrow come and see what the day would bring.

***

Lana lay in bed wearing Clark's old flannel shirt. She loved wearing it, feeling close to him, feeling it on her skin. At one time, he would have loved to seen her wearing it and with a bit of luck, he soon would. Not that she anticipated wearing it for long. She'd only been with Clark once and although it was the first time for both of them, it was the one time that stood out in her memory best.

She remembered every expression on his face, the touch of his hands as he took off her clothes, the feel of them gliding along her skin, when he whispered his love to her as his body broke the barrier to her innocence, the feel of his body covering hers, moving in hers. She replayed and replayed that memory in her head so many times, that every nuance, touch, smell and feel was indelibly imprinted in her mind. Every man she'd been with since Clark had worn his face when they had sex. Clark was the **only** man she'd ever made love with. Lex had no idea that every time she was with him, she'd pretended that he was Clark. She hated herself for ever turning to Lex, if she hadn't, she and Clark would still be together and Lois would never have been able to steal him away.

She knew that the younger Lois being here was a direct result of her spell but it wasn't until the after dinner conversation, that she realised that this Lois, was the same one who was right now lying in the Smallville Medical Centre 8 years back in time.

Clark had used the word earlier and he was right. It was ironic. She'd been so worried about Lois years ago and although they'd tried to find out what was wrong with her, they'd come up blank and now she finally knew; she was the cause.

She was the cause and back then she'd been concerned. This time eight years ago she was angry and bitter at Clark. She'd known there was still a part of her that loved him, but she really believed that she'd moved on and cared for Lex.

Back then Lois had been a friend, someone she didn't want to see hurt, and now she'd give anything for her to just go away.

If Lois had died eight years ago, Clark would have mourned the death of a friend, someone who had died too young and then got over it, but if anything were to happen to her now, Clark would forever see her as the perfect fiancé that no one else could touch.

It would have been much better if spell had worked, then she never would have married Lex and she and Clark would never have been apart. She'd looked into it this morning after Lois left but couldn't see where she'd gone wrong. It had to be something subtle and she would find it and fix it but for now she'd have to work with what was. And right now, all she really had to do was get Clark to see that the Lois who was here, was the same abrasive girl he hadn't much liked years ago. She wouldn't need to do much at all; Lois would do most of the work just by being herself.

She in turn would be available for him to talk to, and if the time was right, if by being around the younger Lois made him realise that he didn't want to be tied to her older counterpart for life, then she'd let him know that she still loved him and wanted them to be together. And if Chloe and Martha turned away from him…from them for hurting Lois, it wouldn't matter because they would always have each other.

If that failed, she'd try and fix the spell and fix their life. If she couldn't do that, then Lois would have to die. She'd be sorry for it, she really didn't hate Lois, well she did but she particularly hated the thought of Lois and Clark having sex. Lois was probably a cold fish in bed or more than likely she bossed him around telling him what he was doing wrong and humiliating him. And Clark being the person he was; wouldn't know how to handle her and just let her push him around in bed and into marriage.

But since she was the cause of Lois being here and as she was the only one to know that, then maybe she could find a way to do something to Lois' while she was lying in the Medical Centre. Her body was vulnerable back there and being in the future no one need ever know it was her, and the best part about it was if Lois did die back then, Clark wouldn't miss her now. Back then he loved her; Lana.

Maybe that was what she needed to do, get rid of Lois before she was a threat. She'd look into it tomorrow. If she could find a way to somehow harm Lois in the past, then it would _have_ to affect the Lois who was here now.

It would be murder. She had to face that and she had to live with it. Could she do it? Her marriage had taught her one lesson that she'd never forget; you did what you had to do, to get what you want.

Lex and Lois had turned her into someone she never thought she could be. One had turned her away from Clark making her life miserable in the process, and the other had stolen Clark away.

If Lois hadn't stolen Clark, if she hadn't somehow bewitched him this wouldn't have been necessary. But it was time for the truth and the truth was that Clark was worth anything, even burning in hell for having murder on her soul. She wouldn't do it yet, she'd only keep it as a backup, but if she had to do it, she could.

Clark was HERS and she was taking him back, no matter what.

She hugged the shirt tighter around her body and drifted off sleep to images of her and Clark making love, getting married and of finally, finally being together.

***

Clark lay in bed with his arms crossed under the pillow. He turned his head to the side and with his x-ray vision peered into his bedroom at Lois. He did that occasionally when he came home in the middle of the night after a rescue, when the adrenaline was still pumping and he couldn't get back to sleep. He'd crawl into bed, and just look at her, amazed that she was finally his and humbled that he could touch her, love and be with her so openly; no longer having to hide his feelings.

The first time Lois woke up from his staring, she'd screamed bloody murder. He'd scared the daylights out of her because she could feel someone watching her. After he calmed her down, he apologised, and told her that he couldn't help it; he just liked to look at her and know that she was his.

She told him it was creepy and weird, then smiled at the look on his face and said that that it was also cute in an Alfred Hitchcock kind of way.

One time she caught him staring and he found himself pushed down on the bed, with a very aroused Lois on top of him, demanding that if he was going to stare at her he might as well make himself useful while doing it.

He tried it again a few weeks later but this time she didn't wake up. He stared at her and when that didn't work, tried staring even harder. When she still continued to sleep, he had sneakily nudged her but she only grunted and moved over to give him more room. He'd slid over and given her another nudge hoping that she'd wake up and once again initiate sex. Instead she rolled over, sleepily told him to forget it, she was just too tired and to damn well go to sleep or she'd nudge him right onto the couch.

He wished that she'd wake up now and come out and join him, even if it was just to talk.

Lois was the most fun, captivating, exasperating, stubborn, annoying woman he'd ever known and he didn't know how the hell he'd lived without her for so long. She just never stopped surprising him.

A couple of weeks after she told him she loved him, they'd been at his apartment working on a story. They'd eaten dinner, worked on their article, made-out and worked some more before he'd carried her off to bed amid her protests. She hadn't protested for long, he recalled.

Afterwards he had spooned around her, hugging her close with his hand lightly rubbing her tummy. His mind kept circling over and over with the news that she loved him. It had been weeks since she first told him but he didn't think he'd ever get tired of hearing it.

"Lo."

"Hmmm?"

"I love you."

She patted his hand gently before replying "I know."

He leant up on one elbow and looked down at her expectantly "Well?"

"Well what?" her face was the picture of innocence but the laugher in her eyes couldn't be hidden.

He caught on immediately and indignantly responded "Aren't you going to say it back?"

"Oh, I didn't realise there were rules to this, I'll catch you next time, ok." The wide eyed look of innocence still shone through but the quivering lip was almost begging to be bitten.

"Ok." he thumped back down onto the pillow and pulled her a little closer "Hey Lo."

"Humm?"

"I love you."

"Thank you." He could hear the smile in her voice and loved the way she could turn even the most heartfelt declarations into a fun time

"Hey, you were supposed to say it back." He jiggled her with his arm.

"I was, well why didn't you say so?" She demanded in bewildered surprise "I've gotta get with the program. I'm sorry sweetie, next time for sure."

He made some good natured grumbling, pretended to huffily wiggle around on the bed but made sure to keep her tucked into his arms and heard her laughing quietly to herself.

"Lo."

"Hmm."

"I love you and you're supposed to say it back, it's only polite." He shot out, rushing all of his words together.

"Now, when am I ever polite?"

"That's not the response I was looking for."

"Well don't you think it's a bit rude to expect me to say it back? I mean, placing expectations on someone isn't very nice and you're supposed to be a nice guy." She turned her head to look back at him and smiled very sweetly.

"I am?"

"That's what people tell me."

"What'd ya mean that's what people tell you. Haven't you noticed that I'm nice?"

"Well…"

He nudged her gently "C'mon, are you saying you haven't noticed that I'm nice." He made sure to give her the big puppy eyes and pouched out his bottom lip.

"Well considering the hand that was on my tummy is now playing with my breast, I can't honestly say that you're _**nice**_."

He lifted up on one elbow, looked over her shoulder and pretended to be surprised to find his hand on her breast "Why so it is! How on earth did that happen?" He squeezed gently before rolling his thumb over and around the nipple, then looked in to her smiling eyes and grinned "Are you telling me it's not nice?" he asked stroking his thumb back and forth over the nipple softly.

"I plead the fifth and you're just lucky that I prefer you naughty." She replied, rolling over to lie on top of him.

"Why Ms Lane." He wiggled his eyebrows and patted her on the bottom, then decided to gently rub away the non-existent hurt he'd caused, making her laugh and tuck her face into his neck.

"Lois." he infused his voice with his stern Superman inflection.

"Yes Clark?"

"I love you."

She leant up and traced his face with her fingers "I love you too."

"Promise."

"Promise." She whispered before bending down to kiss him.

He squeezed his eyes closed before turning back to look at the loft ceiling.

From the time he came back they had picked up their friendship as if the time apart had never been. Except this time they enjoyed each other's company and along with Chloe, the three of them knew that their friendship was solid, something that could never be destroyed.

He'd never realised it when they were kids, but even when he found Lois annoying and just wanted to be rid of her, she had helped him without even trying. She had saved him at a time when he knew he needed to be saved but was looking for another to do it.

He didn't know how it was possible that she had been there and he was so caught up in Lana, that more often than not Lois was just an irritant.

How many times had Lois been there and he had ignored her or gone running to Lana's aid first. He'd looked out for Lois, he'd saved her when he could and been saved by her in return but back then Lana was his priority and if Lois had her way now, he could very well be stuck with Lana for the rest of his life.

Lana didn't want him anymore than he wanted her, but he felt that if she got the chance for them to be together she'd take it.

Every now and again, more so since he and Lois started dating, he thought he'd caught a look in Lana's eyes, one of hurt or longing but it was gone so fast that he couldn't be sure. He finally realised that what he and Lois had, was what Lana wanted. Someone to love, who loved her in return and he could understand that, it was what most people wanted.

But because she hadn't fallen in love, or met anyone special, she would likely take him if only to not be alone.

He hoped that tomorrow some progress would be made in finding out what caused this and he'd soon have his Lois back. He refused to accept that she was lost to him for good, or that his life could be changed irrevocably while he, the strongest man in the world stood by helpless.

***

Chloe was frustrated, she hadn't expected to find anything on the internet, she hadn't expected to find much of anything at all but it still pissed her off that there had to be an answer, one that was more than likely staring them in the face and they were blind to it.

It wasn't easy getting back into her 'Wall of Weird' days. She was now a serious journalist and didn't get caught up in all the 'woo woo' crap as Lois called it but for some reason she believed that this was mystical, if only because had it been a medical problem the doctors would have found something years ago.

She rubbed her forehead, pushed away from the table, went into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. Maybe they were all just trying to think about it too much, maybe they needed to take a step back and the answer would come to them. And maybe that was just bullshit. They'd ignored it eight years ago and now it had come back to bite them on the ass.

If this didn't get figured out, Lois would be stuck here and Clark and Lois would not be together and if they didn't find the RIGHT solution, Clark could find himself married to Lana and miserable. God only knows what the world would be like if he married Lana. It might make no difference at all, except to his personal happiness, or it could make all the difference. If he had married Lana, would he still be Superman or would he have turned his back on his heritage, playing farmer Kent but longing for more in life.

She recalled one of her tutors discussing 'Chaos Theory' in college. The Butterfly Effect, reflects how changes on the small scale, can influence things on the large scale. It was the classic example of chaos, where small changes may cause large changes. A butterfly flapping its wings in Hong Kong may change tornado patterns in Texas.

At the time she'd thought it was fascinating and tried to think of all the little things that could have happened in her life, little things that she hadn't given much thought to at the time, that had caused a major or minor change, either in her own or someone else's life. She'd seen the movie 'Sliding Doors' and thought it was brilliant, the way Gwyneth Paltrow's character had lived two versions of her life just because she missed her train. That such a small thing could have changed her entire destiny.

And now she was seeing just that happening, only she wasn't fascinated, she was worried.

Eight years ago, somehow Lois was infected or affected by someone or something and now it could very well influence all of them, bringing about changes they either didn't want, or weren't aware off.

She paced back to the living room, sat on the couch and closed her eyes. When she felt the seat give next to her, she wasn't surprised to open her yes and find Martha sitting beside her.

"Chloe, you need to sleep." Martha said quietly.

"I know, but my mind won't shut down. Have you seen the movie Sliding Doors?" she asked.

"Yes, Lois and I watched it. Clark and Jonathan were outside doing farm work and Lois decided that as it was a rainy, lazy type of afternoon that she and I were going to have a girl's day. We actually painted our toe nails, put on face packs the lot and after we had sufficiently luxuriated ourselves we watched the movie." Martha smiled "There were a couple of parts I was uncomfortable watching with Lois but the movie itself was so engaging, that I soon got over any embarrassment and was caught up in the story."

"That's what I keep thinking about, how something so insignificant as missing a train, can alter everything."

"Movies are different to real life. You can enjoy watching it in movie but when it comes to reality it's a different story. It's not fascinating or enjoyable, we're all creatures of habit and like things to stay the way they are when we're happy with them." Martha replied.

"The unknown is frightening but in this case it's not just frightening, it has me worried about the possible consequences if we screw up."

"Well, I'm not as young as I used to be, so I know that the saying 'don't borrow trouble' is very true. We did solve it last time, we made it right and I think we will this time too. So don't worry about what could go wrong. If we try to second guess ourselves that could very well be the problem."

"I was wondering if maybe we're all just trying to think about it too much. Maybe we need to take a step back and the answer will come but I don't think so." Chloe grimaced.

"But that could be the answer."

"Maybe but we didn't find anything when this happened the last time and look where we are now."

"Yes, but the last time we were in the past, we don't know what we did now…I'm pretty tired so I hope that made sense. What I'm trying to say is maybe the last time, the people we were in this time, did take a step back and the answer was right there." Martha gently corrected.

"God you're right. Last time is this time; last time was eight years ago for us there, but here we don't know what we did."

"Exactly, we've tried to think about it, discuss it and haven't come up with anything, so maybe we should just let it lie and who knows, we might see everything just by taking a step back."

"Thank you, that really does make me feel less useless. So for now, we'll just let things play out and hopefully sometime in the next four days, we'll find out exactly what happened."

Martha nodded, patted her hand, said goodnight and went back upstairs.

For the first time Chloe felt that she was getting somewhere, they'd all been worrying about this to death and yet they had no way of knowing what their future selves did the last time, or how they'd reacted. In the morning she'd tell Lois and Clark what she and Martha had discussed and hopefully just by letting the answer come to them, they would find what had to be done.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Day Two: 2007_

Lana looked through the window and saw Clark sitting next to Lois' bed. She hoped he wasn't going to try talking to her about either their own, or her and Lex's relationship. This wasn't the time or place for a discussion on their personal life, something was clearly wrong with Lois and all she wanted to do was find out if he had any more news.

"How is she?" Lana asked, as she quietly pushed open the door and walked in. She looked down at Lois and was surprised by how calm and peaceful everything was. Lois didn't appear to be hurt in any way and yet nothing was right.

"The same, the doctors still haven't found anything and there's been no change." Clark looked up and she could see the concern on his face.

"I'm sure you and Chloe are looking into it already but have you found anything?"

"Yeah we're looking but so far we've come up blank. No one else has been admitted, there haven't been any new cases since I talked to you yesterday but still….."

"I'd like to help."

"Don't you have a wedding to prepare for?" Clark asked quietly.

"I can do both and Lois is more important than a wedding Clark." She didn't have time for his petty digs and refused to get into this discussion again.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"It's ok, so what have you found so far?"

"A whole lot of nothing. This could be meteor related but I don't see how, Chloe and I both searched her apartment from top to bottom and didn't find anything."

"Well, maybe the three of us together will find something, it's worth a shot."

"Yeah, look mom will be here soon, Chloe's at the farm sleeping, did you want to come back with me and the three of us can talk, try to figure out if we've missed something."

"I have my own car, so I'll follow you there." And as that finished what little small talk they had, the room grew quiet once again.

Thirty minutes later they were both on their way back to the farm.

***

Driving back to the farm, Lana let her mind drift, she was concerned about Lois, whatever this was, it wasn't normal and had to be fixed but she hated the timing of it. If there could there ever be a good time for a friend to be stuck in the hospital for any reason, she acidly reminded herself.

She had to stop being selfish, Lois was in trouble and if she had to deal with Clark then she would, she may have lost him but she wasn't going to lose her friends.

She couldn't believe how far apart she and Clark had drifted, even when they weren't together and she had other boyfriends they'd still been friends. Close friends and she didn't just miss the boy she had loved but his friendship as well.

She knew there was a part of her that still loved him and always would but he didn't love her and she eventually had to accept that and move on. She never would have thought she'd move on with Lex but he'd been there, he'd been a true friend when she really needed one. Chloe was her friend but her loyalty would always be to Clark first and she needed someone who would be there for her first. Clark never had been, her aunt never had been, no one ever was until Lex.

Lex cared about her, he loved her and he never lied or tried to hide things from her. Even when he came back different last summer, the first thing he did was to show her how he'd changed. Even though she was frightened she was grateful that he hadn't tried to protect her from the truth, hadn't tried to build walls or push her away as Clark had so often done.

She knew what other people were thinking, they thought she turned to Lex for his money, or his charisma, or as a sop to her ego but she didn't. She turned to him because he'd been there when she needed a friend so badly and then she came to love him.

How could she ever have loved Clark? She didn't even know him and how could she have been so stupid as to believe he loved her. He didn't know what love was.

She hated being lied to and although she had her own secrets and didn't tell him everything, at least her secrets didn't hurt people not like his did. He'd broken her heart when he hadn't trusted her, when he broke up with her and there was a small part of her that hated him for that.

She HAD loved Clark but that part of her life was over.

But it was hard, he'd been such a mainstay in her life, he'd always been so friendly and for years he'd tried to get them together and yet once he got what he wanted it wasn't enough, SHE wasn't enough. When they first broke up, she wanted to scream, to shout, to hit him but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her broken.

Now that she'd moved on, as usual he was looking at her with big sad eyes, wanting her back. Well to hell with him.

How could she have been so gullible? When she gave her heart to Clark's keeping she thought it would always be safe, that no matter what they would be together forever and he'd love her forever. He'd told her that and she believed him. She'd been a fool, but not anymore.

Now Lex came first, just as she did with him and a part of her revelled in knowing that seeing her and Lex together hurt Clark and made him feel that this time, it was HIM that wasn't enough and never would be.

Letting him know that she'd moved on and didn't need him or his fickle feelings was really satisfying. When she told him that she didn't know how she ever could have loved him, she'd enjoyed seeing the hurt on his face, had enjoyed inflicting that pain and on the day she married Lex, she hoped that Clark would finally realise that she would never, could never be his again.

Bastard, she didn't want him to know that the hurt was still there, that a part of her still yearned for him. She would never let him know that but she had enjoyed taunting him every now and again, pretending that she still felt something, asking him if he could still feel the 'love' between them, then slapping him down when he responded.

Some part of her must have known for years that he couldn't be trusted. How many times had they nearly gotten together, only for it to all fall apart because of his lies and deceptions? How many times had she turned away from him and gone out with someone else instead and yet in the end she'd succumbed to his declarations of caring about her, his avowal of always being there for her. He may never have said that he loved her before she told him but he'd told her a thousand times, in a thousand different ways that he did just by his actions.

Stupid! She was so stupid. She'd followed her heart and all it had brought her was anguish. It galled her, it made her furious that out of all the boyfriends she had had HE; was the only one that she had loved and he'd just been using her as some type of trophy girlfriend, some kind of status symbol to show that he could get what he went after.

Wanting to drown her thoughts she turned on the radio but that seemed to be against her as well when she heard the song pouring out of the speakers. Her hand hovered over the dial, she wanted to change the channel but couldn't, her memories were the only thing she had left and she was determined to hang onto the one good memory she had.

Feeling his arms around her; resting her head on his chest and feeling his chin on the top of her head. He'd held her so close and she hadn't wanted the dance or Prom to end.

God why, why had he done it, why had he spent so long trying to make her love him, only to kick her out of his life a few months later and just who the hell did he think he was trying to tell her who she should marry? It was none of his goddamn business! If she could only understand why he'd done it, maybe she wouldn't be so bitter but …..NO, to hell with him, he deserved her bitterness and her contempt and she enjoyed showing him that that was ALL he'd ever get out of her again.

She flipped the windshield visor down and surreptitiously wiped her hand across her cheeks, she hadn't realised that she was crying until she tasted the saltiness on her lips. She was angry, that's what the tears were for that's ALL they were for. Clark Kent wasn't worth her tears she'd cried over him enough but no more.

Quickly changing the channel, she flipped through the stations until she heard some hard rock came on and decided that would be the perfect distraction. The rest of the drive was left contemplating Lois and what was going on.

***

Clark kept an eye on Lana's car following him back to the farm. He was grateful she'd offered her help, in truth he was grateful for anything that allowed him to spend some time with her. Not that he would ever wish ill will on anyone just to have her near but he couldn't lie to himself, being around her even though it was painful gave him something, no matter how pitifully small.

He was equally glad that her association with Lex hadn't made her hard or callous with her friends. She was clearly concerned about Lois and he felt pleased when she said that Lois was more important than her wedding. He felt her reproof and knew it was justified but he'd still been happy that she hadn't changed. Or if she had, it was only towards himself.

He thought breaking up with her had been the right thing to do, the selfless thing to do but all he could see now were years of emptiness stretching out before him. He could easily imagine living out his life in a hermit like existence on the farm, with only Chloe dropping in for the occasional visit when she wasn't running around chasing her next big story. His mom would spend more and more time out of state and only come home for the holidays.

He refused to accept Lois wasn't going to be ok and could picture her dropping in to bug him every now and again before rushing off to do whatever it was that had next caught her attention because he couldn't see her sticking out journalism. She'd teased him once about going into law enforcement but actually he could see her doing that. She certainly had a penchant for sticking her nose into other people's business and she enjoyed bossing people around, so he could see her striding onto a crime scene, giving orders to her underlings, telling off the press for getting in her way and then solving whatever crime needed solving. He had to give her credit, Lois wasn't slow she quite often she picked up things before anyone else.

He would remain on the farm alone, he wouldn't get married, he knew he'd never fall in love with anyone else and it wouldn't be fair to only give half a heart to someone else all the while wishing that the woman beside him was Lana. He'd help people when needed but he'd be lonely and unhappy. Smallville's answer to the mean old man who lived a solitary existence on the farm, the neighbouring children would be afraid off. Spending his days and nights remembering how great he'd had it before throwing it all away.

He quickly swiped his hand across his eyes. He could have held onto Lana, could have found a way to keep lying to her; maybe she would have been unhappy but maybe not, either way she'd still be with him. Even when she was angry or feeling dejected by his lies, she never broke up with him, she wanted answers but she still loved him. He'd done everything he could to hold onto her and in the end had let her go and now knew that it had been the biggest mistake of his life.

Somehow, someway, he would make sure she knew that if she ever changed her mind, if her marriage didn't work out or if she just wanted them to get back together, he'd be waiting, he would _**always**_ be waiting for her.

***

Chloe was happy when Clark called and told her that Lana had offered to help and was coming back to the farm. She was glad that her friendship with Lana, while not as close as it had been was still intact despite everything that had happened.

She quickly made some iced tea and put some sandwiches together, she was hungry, they had to eat and this would kill two birds. They could eat and talk, saving the time that was ticking away.

While waiting for them to arrive she grabbed her pad and pen, sat down on the couch, and quickly listed everything that had happened and any information that had been found (or not found in this case) in chronological order. Then there was nothing more to do but wait. She just hoped that Clark and Lana would be able to talk about Lois without getting into an argument about their lives or anything else. She wouldn't put up with that, she loved the two of them, she really did but they could both be so blinkered, so one eyed about their own problems sometimes.

She knew that when they helped her look into something, they usually stuck to the problem at hand and concentrated on what was important, but then again there had never been so much acrimony running between them before. In all fairness the animosity was mostly from Lana's side, Clark was more like an unhappy bull wagging his head back and forth trying to get his head out of a noose of his own creation.

She understood Lana's point of view, she didn't know about Clark's powers or his 'alien' heritage, all she knew was that Clark had lied to her and then dumped her after doggedly pursuing her for several years. But at the same time Lana wasn't completely innocent either. She was always questioning, always pushing Clark away or running to Lex looking for answers.

Chloe let out a snort, and wasn't she just the big hypocrite because she'd been just as bad about trying to find out about Clarks secrets in the past. Making deals with Lionel Luthor to investigate Clark and always questioning him. Then again Clark wasn't exactly innocent in this mess either. He did have a right to his secrets, she wouldn't contest that, but it was no use chasing after Lana only to keep pushing her away at the first sign of trouble. The two of them had been doing that for years; he must have known that it would be even worse if they got together, so why keep chasing after her.

She just wanted her friends to be happy, she didn't believe that Lex would make Lana happy and she was sure that Lana would find out very quickly that getting involved with the Luthors was a fast way to a disappointment and disillusionment, but as Lana wouldn't listen, there was little to be done.

Hearing cars coming down the drive, she quickly got up, took the iced tea out of the fridge and placed it on the table. Now that they were here she didn't want to waste any time.

***

Walking into the house felt strange, she hadn't been there for several months and had to admit it brought back memories of the night she and Clark had made love. The night she'd given everything to him; her love, and her body.

She glanced over at Clark and knew by his expression that he was remembering that night too. Waking up and seeing his face on the pillow next to hers, being so incredibly happy that she'd waited and given herself for the first time to the boy she'd love forever, then sneaking down the stairs and the utter humiliation of being caught by his parents. That was the only part she wished to forget.

She shook her head and decided enough was enough, then turned and hugged Chloe, hoping to show her support and that she was there for her. When Chloe let go, gestured to the table and told them they'd eat lunch and talk, they all realised just how hungry they were.

"Ok, well can you fill me in on what you've found or haven't found. Clark told Lex and I about Lois yesterday, but can you just take me through it all again, get me up to speed so to speak?" Lana asked.

"Yeah, hang on, I wrote it all down on my pad so nothing was forgotten, I'll just get it." Chloe replied and went over to the coffee table to retrieve her notebook.

After listening to everything, the three sat eating in silence. There was very little that hadn't already been covered and where to start looking again was now the question.

"I could go over everything again Chloe, just in case I see something that either of you missed, another pair of eyes so to speak." Lana offered. She didn't want either of them to think they'd been incompetent but sometimes things were overlooked in haste.

"It's ok Lana, I know what you're saying and another pair of eyes is always welcome, besides that's why you're here right, to help." Chloe smiled gratefully, she knew what Lana was getting at and hadn't felt slighted.

Lana smiled back "Ok, so what do you want me to look at first and what will the two of you be doing?"

"Could you go through Lois' apartment again, check everything and if anything makes you uncomfortable or seems wrong let me know. Clark and I will go to Carlton Gorge, that's the place that has the most meteor rock in Smallville. I'm pretty sure we all remember when Dawn Stiles was body jacking people after crashing her car there." Chloe had been thinking of this, it seemed a long shot but she was willing to look into anything.

"Yeah but Chloe, Lois hasn't been body jacked, she's unconscious." Clark put in.

"We don't know that Clark, for all we know Lois' body is laying in the hospital but her spirit could be flying around trying to find a home. Anyway I just want to make sure that nothing seems different or out of place."

"Ok but if Lois' spirit was in someone else surely she would have come to us by now."

"Not necessarily, we don't know anything so have to assume that at the moment anything's possible." She was starting to feel agitated by the arguments he kept putting forward.

"I'm sorry Chlo, you're right; we need to check into everything no matter how bizarre. So if anyone else gets an idea we let the others know, even if it seems off the wall agreed?"

Chloe grabbed Clark's hand in thanks and both girls nodded their head in agreement.

***

Lana entered Lois' apartment and just like at Kent house felt waves of memories rush through her mind. But this time the memories weren't of Clark. She and Clark hadn't been together long while she lived there. Mostly her memories were of school, starting up the Talon and her boyfriend's Jason and Adam. Like most teenagers she'd had her share of problems and when it came to guys, she could certainly pick them but there had still been enough good to counteract the bad.

She quickly closed the door and stood staring round the apartment wondering what to tackle first. She'd already called Lex, so he wouldn't worry at her delay and he'd completely understood her need to help her friend.

Deciding to check the bedroom first because that was where Lois was found, she headed in that direction.

Several hours later, she sat on the couch frustrated. She'd done as Chloe suggested and checked everything. Lois' clothes, her makeup, she'd looked behind and under furniture, running her hands around the edges hoping to find something. She checked the shower, sniffing the shampoo and conditioner, the soap and body wash. She'd even checked into the toilet cistern. Then she'd come out and repeated the process in the living room and kitchen. The only thing she hadn't done was read any correspondence that looked even the slightest bit personal. Chloe was Lois' cousin and if she wanted to check that, she could. She had gathered up all the papers, and letters, Lois' personal planner and diary and her laptop and would hand it all over when Chloe arrived.

Clark had called half an hour before, they were on their way back and hopefully had found something.

She got up to pour herself a soft drink, she'd asked Chloe about the food and had been told not to throw it out, so she'd also checked every open packet and bottle she could find. When she was finished, she ran downstairs and bought some soft drinks for the three of them, not wanting to take any chances that the food or drink could be contaminated.

When they finally walked in the door she could see by the look on their faces that they'd had as much luck as she did.

***

Clark drove to Carlton Gorge, while Chloe sat in the passenger seat, sometimes taking notes and others times just staring vacantly out the window.

"What are you writing Chlo, have you thought of something else?"

"No, I'm not even writing anything new, I'm just trying to keep myself occupied so I'm jotting down everything again but trying to make it look new." She replied casting a brief smile his way.

"It's gonna be Ok Chlo."

"How do you know that, we don't even know what's wrong, so how do you know that everything's going to be ok?" She was frustrated and scared and wasn't in the mood to hear platitudes.

"Because I know Lois and I know you. You very different but you're also alike in some ways. And the biggest way is determination. You won't give up on her any more than she'd give up on you. She's strong Chlo, whatever's wrong Lois will come out of it and I wouldn't be at all surprised if you find the answer and then the two of you fight over who gets to write a story about it for their paper." He smiled, grabbed her hand and gave it light squeeze.

"You know I can imagine Lois sitting up in bed, wondering what the hell's going on and then thinking up ways of how she can use it to her own advantage." Chloe laughed tearfully.

"Oh, yeah, intrepid bulldozer in the making is Lois."

"Bulldozer?"

"Sure, doesn't she remind you of one, clearing away any and all obstacles that are in her way to get to the root of what she wants?"

Clark was glad that he'd managed to make Chloe smile but couldn't stop the shiver from crawling down his back at the thought that whatever was wrong with Lois, was going to somehow hurt him personally. He quickly admonished himself for being stupid. Lois was his friend and he didn't like seeing his friends in the hospital. Chloe and his mom both loved Lois and he didn't like to see them scared and helpless, so naturally it was going to hurt if anything happened to her.

He resolutely shook of the premonition that whatever happened to Lois was going to affect him, affect his life specifically. That was just ridiculous.

When they arrived at the gorge, Chloe climbed down and he stayed up on the road well away from the meteor rock. If he got to close it wouldn't help the situation at all, he'd be much too heavy for Chloe to drag away and it would just cause another problem on top of everything else.

He used his x-ray vision to scan the site while Chloe tramped around below, kicking loose rocks and tossing tree branches aside. They walked a mile in either direction of the car, taking their time and carefully inspecting every inch before finally conceding there was nothing to find.

Dejectedly they climbed back into the car, where Clark called Lana to let her know they were on their way back.

Chloe meanwhile called Mrs Kent. She was supposed to go to the Medical Centre for her turn to sit with Lois but decided to forgo that. She asked Mrs Kent to let the doctors know that they were to call her if there was any change and then told her to go home. She explained there was little they could do in the hospital but at least looking around made her feel useful. Mrs Kent agreed but obtained the promise that when they came home to fill her in on everything.

When they got back to the Talon apartment, it was to find Lana sitting on the couch with a look of total frustration on her face and without asking Chloe knew that her search had been as fruitless as theirs.

Lana gestured to the pile of papers and documents, the computer and planner explaining that she just couldn't read Lois' private correspondence. Chloe in turn felt touched that her cousin's privacy had been respected.

They filled each other in on their lack of progress then parted ways with the agreement of starting again the next day.

When they arrived back at the farm house, Mrs Kent had dinner on the table waiting for which they were both grateful. They filled her in on Lana's search and their own at the gorge, analysing any every detail they'd already discussed but knew that they were fast running out of ideas.

They were all tired, so after dinner Mrs Kent said goodnight, grabbed her briefcase and retreated to her bedroom to work. Clark suggested they watch TV to get their minds of the problem hoping that something would come to them if they didn't think about it for a little while and having nothing better to do Chloe agreed.

When Chloe finally fell asleep, Clark laid her down on the couch, took her shoes off, and covered her with a blanket, hoping that she'd sleep easier than she had the night before. She was exhausted, she'd spent most of the night with Lois and although she'd come back to the house and napped, it wasn't long enough nor he expected, peaceful. On top of all that she'd been tramping around the gorge for the better part of the afternoon and worrying the whole time. She needed to sleep.

He went to the barn and up into his loft and there sitting on his desk was a picture of Lana. Today for the first time in a long time, they'd been able to talk without bitterness or accusations.

He missed her; missed seeing her smile at him and talking to her. He missed just being with her. When she'd walked into the house earlier, the first thing he remembered was the night they'd spent together. They had both been so nervous, neither of them had any experience but they'd both had plenty of expectations.

And now she was with Lex and he resented that anyone other than him knew her like that, and had to admit that despite his love for her, he hated her a little bit it also.

She didn't need to run to Lex, she hadn't even waited for their relationship to cool off before getting involved with him. He knew Lex had taken advantage of her vulnerability, but she could have said no and he couldn't help but wonder if Lex hadn't been around, would she have found someone else. The answer depressed him because he knew that she would have. She always had a boyfriend; she'd gone from Whitney to him, to Adam to him, to Jason to him and now to Lex.

They hadn't been involved when she was between boyfriends but they had become close a time or two, and it wasn't always his fault when they things didn't work out.

He loved her but knew that he couldn't trust her with his secrets. He couldn't exactly put his finger on why, he just knew that he couldn't. It didn't have anything to do with her parents or being an 'alien' and how he hated that word; it was to do with her.

He knew his mom and Chloe wished he'd move on. He also knew that Lois thought he was an ass for hanging onto one girl when there were so many others out there.

He genuinely liked Lois, not that he'd ever tell her that. They still got on each other's nerves and purposely bugged each other, but they were friends enough that he looked out for her, and she for him.

When Oliver came to town and fell for Lois he was amazed. Lois was so take charge, so bossy and pushy and yet she had the head of Queen Industries literally in the palm of her hand. It was weird, here was a guy who could have pretty much anything he wanted and what he wanted was Lois. Annoying, loud, needs a personality over-haul, Lois.

He personally preferred a different type of female to one of Lois' stamp, but he never thought she'd have the power to bring someone so rich and powerful to his knees, but Oliver had been besotted and it had to be said, so was Lois.

He never thought he'd see the day that someone as emotionally strong as Lois could be that infatuated with anyone. He'd had a glimpse of her vulnerability with AC but really didn't think she had it in her for her long haul. She was so self-contained, she didn't seem to need anyone but she clearly liked Oliver.

Even though Lois and Oliver had their problems, he could see that for the most part they were happy during their relationship. When Oliver left, Lois was devastated but had quickly rallied and was soon her old self again.

Although Lois was very attractive he just couldn't imagine ever falling for her the way Oliver and AC had. She just wasn't the type of woman to bring that emotion out in him. She was too highhanded, too opinionated, too sure of herself, too everything. He hoped they would always be friends and sincerely wished that one day she would meet someone who would love her; sharp edges, acid tongue and all.

He'd told her after AC left that she'd meet someone even more special and he meant it. Lois was the kind of girl who would give one hundred percent in a relationship and wouldn't hold back. More than likely she'd end up meeting someone she liked and pursuing the poor guy to the ends of the earth until he surrendered, or she'd meet someone that would fall for her the way AC and Oliver did. The guy would have to be pretty damn patient and not let himself be bullied. Not that he thought Lois would want a wimp; she seemed kind of contemptuous of people, guys in particular who allowed themselves to be pushed around by their girlfriends. She'd sneered at the jocks when they were under the love spell, she hadn't thought it was funny or women's lib taking the upper hand, she'd been disgusted.

Lois was going to be alright, he refused to believe he could lose a friend when she was still so young. What he wanted was for Lois to wake up and one day, if they hadn't killed each other before then, to dance with her at her wedding and laugh with her about the time she'd given them all a good scare before handing her over to her impatient groom.

He'd have to tease her of course, mock her for being a silly sentimental female that fell for all the traditional trappings. He smiled thinking of that and could already feel the punch that she'd give him for his impertinence. He couldn't imagine the grooms face but he could imagine Lois being happy, looking beautiful and his mom, Chloe and himself all remembering this terrible time, and being grateful that it had all worked out in the end.


	10. Chapter 10

Your post made me chuckle since I'm exactly the same way. I'll read for hours, get a hideous headache, take painkillers and still keep reading, rubbing my forehead all the while. I was wondering if I should bother posting this anymore in case anyone who was reading it had gone to DI, but as long as people are still reading, I'll be happy to keep posting.

I really enjoyed writing this next part which is lighter than the previous chapters, but the fun times aren't going to last, so enjoy it while you can. BTW: most people find Lois maddening in this update, I think she's hilarious (yes I know that I wrote it, but still) so here you go...

Linda

**

**Chapter 10**

_Day Two: 2015_

Lois rolled over, looked at the clock and was surprised to find it was nearly 7.15am. She'd gone to bed fairly early last night and had napped during the day so hadn't expected to sleep so late. Not that 7am was late but it was when she'd already had so much sleep.

Finally deciding that she could delay no longer and smelling breakfast downstairs, she gathered her things and went to have a shower.

She took her time getting dressed wanting to put off going downstairs and having to face the inevitable questions of how she was feeling and if she was alright. She knew everyone was just concerned but still hated feeling like a bug under a microscope.

Sitting down on the bed, she ran the previous night's conversation and dinner through her head.

Ok, so she was initially going to find a way to retain her memories before going back to fix their lives. But really, here was a perfect opportunity, almost like a gift from the gods dropped into her lap.

If Lana's feelings for Clark, no matter how subtlety displayed had rekindled his own for her, causing him to have second thoughts about the engagement, then confronting him about it wouldn't do any good. He'd just clamp down and would be too busy reproaching himself to listen to anything she said about not assigning blame. But there were ways around any problem, she wasn't a general's daughter for nothing and as the saying went 'there was more than one way to skin a cat'.

All she really had to do was remind Clark of how much he didn't used to like her, how irritating and annoying he thought she was. He may have learnt to overlook her less than charming attributes but maybe it was time he had a reminder. And at the same time refresh his memory on just what he did like; delicate creatures that needed to be rescued, usually from their own stupidity. Girls who couldn't hold a conversation without a sob in their voice or tears in their eyes; and despite the intervening years, she couldn't imagine that Lana had changed so much that she could talk to Clark _**without**_ crying and making him feel all manly, ugh.

That's what the Clark she knew liked in a girl, and she'd bet anything it was still there, _hiding_. All she had to do was find the right button and push it.

She could bug him, get under his skin, really piss him off, and with Lana as a constant example of a fragile and sensitive female around, he'd be breaking off the engagement and running into Lana's ever open arms in no time.

She'd have to find a way to get Lana to stick around for the next few days but as she'd been around back then, it shouldn't be too odd asking her to help again.

She could also trip down memory lane and remind the two of them just how hot they were for each other.

And if all of that didn't work then she'd talk to him again, but this time she'd remain calm and rational and let him know that he was free.

Joanne wouldn't even have time to be unhappy about being dumped because the moment she returned to her own time, she'd get them back together and the future would have been changed. This way everyone would be happy, she'd be rid of Clark and it would also save her from having to listen to anymore guff about the two of them.

**THIS** would be a piece of Cake.

So she had a three way plan. First remind Clark and Lana of their relationship, second be annoying and third talk to him. And if none of that worked, she'd just grease the damn guy up, throw him at Lana and run like hell in the opposite direction.

Right she'd be cheery and peppy and remind them of how happy they were together. Ok, not how happy they were, that was impossible but she could talk them up, make them sound like something out of a Danielle Steel novel as opposed to a Steven King novel, which was actually closer to the truth. But hey whatever worked, quite frankly she didn't care if they spent the rest of their lives hissing and clawing at each other, as long as she was very firmly out of the picture.

Right now all she had on Lana's feelings for Clark was her own intuition, but her intuition was hardly ever wrong, so she was pretty certain that Lana would lap it all up, Clark would be a harder nut to crack but by the time she was done with him, he'd be wondering why on earth he ever stopped kissing Lana's ass in the first place.

Nodding her head in satisfaction she went downstairs.

***

Lana was frustrated. She'd tried looking for anything that would allow her to at least try and reach Lois in the past but had come up empty. She was a witch for god's sakes there were spells for just about every occasion, how on earth could there not be spell for that?

She'd found one for causing harm to an enemy but that didn't help because it was the Lois in the past she needed to get at. But she'd give it a try, see if it worked and keep it in reserve if all else failed. She'd found a couple of love spells but since she had already tried to change their lives and brought Lois here to this time, if she did a love spell on Clark, Chloe and Martha would become suspicious. At the moment no one was looking her way but if Clark suddenly fell in love with her, they'd soon figure out that she was behind everything and if they found a way to reverse it then she'd lose Clark for good.

She would keep looking, there had to be an answer and she'd find it but for now she'd just have to let things play out and hopefully it would all work out. At least one good thing had come out of all this. While young Lois was here, she and Clark weren't together, not romantically so she didn't have to see them together and not sexually, which was a huge relief. The thought of him being with anyone like that was like a knife in her heart, no matter how unsatisfying their sex life, she hated the thought that he could ever do something so intimate with anyone but her.

***

When Clark first started drifting awake, he automatically put his arm out to pull Lois against him. When he didn't feel anything, his hand patted around on the mattress but feeling only emptiness he finally opened his eyes and saw that he was in the loft.

Memory rushed in. His sleep hadn't been restful; he was used to having Lois beside him. He'd spent most of the night in the half awake state until the early hours of the morning. It was just as well he didn't need as much sleep as most people or he'd be pretty useless for the rest of the day.

He turned his head to the side to check on Lois only to find her asleep. Well at least one of them was getting some rest.

When he finally fell asleep his dreams had been full of Lois and himself which wasn't surprising. He missed his fiancé, he missed talking to her and holding her and making love with her. He wanted her back.

After talking with his mom the day before, after telling her of their fight and his feelings he felt a lot calmer. He was still apprehensive but his mom was right, he hadn't given up on Lois when she wouldn't go out with him, when she didn't love him and he wasn't going to give up now.

He had an edge now. He knew that regardless of her compliant nature of the night before she wouldn't give up her campaign to get him and Lana back together. He just had to make sure not to fall into her trap. Years ago he would have done but he knew her now, he knew her very well. That's not to say she couldn't surprise him but at least he had an edge. He knew that she never gave up, never conceded defeat.

Just as she was determined to get him and Lana back together, he was determined to show her that he wasn't interested. She said she wanted to keep her memories and get them back together when she went back but he wouldn't put it past her to try getting them back together now.

There was no chance of success in any of her schemes succeeding but if she got even the slightest idea that he wanted Lana back, she'd do everything in her power to find a way to ensure her memory stayed intact. At least if he showed her that he wasn't interested, hopefully she'd come around to the conclusion that he did love her and hadn't settled after all.

Yesterday he hadn't found that funny but thinking about it now, he had to admit the humour in the situation was priceless. If he ever settled, it wouldn't be with a woman as contrary, fascinating or bull headed as Lois. It would be with someone who would only utter 'yes dear' every time he opened his mouth.

As much as Lois exasperated him on occasion, as much as she could piss him off at times, he never wanted to be with anyone else but because he knew her so well he'd have to be on watch.

She could be stubborn but so could he, she would push and he would push back and when she tried to fight, he would too.

His mind drifted back to the time a few weeks after they moved in together, they'd been arguing, he'd been angry because she'd put herself in danger and been hurt as a result. She'd been angry because she could take care of herself and became furious when he pointed out that he had to save her and followed it up with pointing out the six inch cut on her arm.

Their argument had gone round in circles for a full 20 minutes, both of their voices getting louder before she finally just pulled at her hair and screamed. After which she grabbed him by his shirt collar, dragged him through the apartment, and all but pushed him on the bed and the whole time she was attacking him with her hands and mouth, continued to call him every filthy name she could think of. He hadn't exactly tried to hold her off; he'd been purging his own anger and fear but had thankfully still retained enough sense to ensure he didn't hurt her. She didn't have the same consideration, although with him being Superman she knew holding back wasn't necessary.

Afterwards they had lain on the bed, panting with their clothes still half on and ended up turning to each other before she apologised for scaring him but making sure he understand that she couldn't change who she was and wouldn't, not even for him. He'd told her he didn't want her to change, just to be more careful with her life, that she was necessary to him.

Once the adrenalin had worn off, her arm started to hurt and they realised their activity had all but torn her stitches open again and he had to take her back to the hospital for treatment and medication. He had lain awake all that night watching her, worrying and thinking about how close he'd come to losing her. It never crossed his mind to break up with her; years ago he may have done so thinking she'd be safer away from him, but he knew that Lois could find trouble all by herself and frequently had. Maybe he was selfish for holding onto her but he wouldn't give her up, not after everything it took to get her, he'd just have to be more vigilant with her safety.

Rolling over he picked up the engagement ring he'd placed on the floor beside the mattress the night before. When HIS Lois came back, he would put this ring back on her finger.

Getting up, he dressed, did the morning chores, returned to the loft to get some clean clothes, returned to the house for a shower and joined Chloe and his mom ready to face a new day.

***

Chloe woke up to the smell of coffee and bacon frying, when she glanced into the kitchen she saw Martha at the stove but no one else.

She said good morning, grabbed her clothes and went upstairs to shower. When she came back down 20 minutes later found that there was still only the two of them sitting down to eat.

"Are the others up yet?" Chloe asked pouring both herself and Martha a cup of coffee.

"Lois is still asleep but Clark's outside doing some chores." Martha took her seat and handed the plate of bacon across.

"Thanks, what time is it?"

"Seven and I'm sorry I didn't mean to wake you up."

"No that's ok; I finally went to bed around 11, so I had a pretty good sleep. How's Clark this morning?" forking the bacon onto her plate and passing it back before reaching for the eggs, she looked over at Martha.

"He's pretty good. I think getting it all off his chest yesterday was what he needed. He's determined that it'll all work out and isn't going to worry about it too much anymore." The two ladies smiled at each other.

"I'm glad, I certainly feel better after a good night's sleep and what you said also helped. I was thinking we should share it with the others, let them know that worrying and stressing about it isn't going to help and maybe just by letting it rest and stew the answer will come to us." Chloe replied before digging into her breakfast.

"I think that's a good idea, we all need to know what's going on."

"Yeah."

There was silence for a few minutes, then the back door opened and Clark came in. He said a quick good morning, retreated upstairs and a few minutes later returned newly showered, sat down at the table and spooned breakfast onto his plate.

"Morning again Chlo." He smiled before taking a sip of coffee.

"Morning, I have to say you look a lot more chipper than I expected this morning but I'm glad." Chloe smiled back.

"Yeah, well I was thinking about Lo and I last night and when I woke up, I just decided I wasn't going to worry, it'd work out. As mom said yesterday, I didn't give up on her before and I'm not going to give up now."

"Good." She smiled and once again tucked into her breakfast.

"Listen I was thinking, Lois can be pretty sneaky. I know she said she wanted to go back and change things but I wouldn't be surprised if she tries to throw Lana and I together while she's here, so we really need to watch her ok?"

Both ladies nodded their heads in understanding, knowing that Lois could be very artful when it came to getting what she wanted.

"Good morning everyone." Lois smiled and sat down at the table.

"How are you feeling today Lo?" Chloe asked after everyone had greeted her.

"I'm good." She smiled and reached for her share of breakfast.

The room was quiet as everyone ate. Clark surreptitiously sneaked looks at Lois every now and again. She looked rested, she didn't appear to be angry, confused or even trying to hatch some plot but he knew her. Just as he had thought things out the previous night and this morning, she would have done so too. If she was up to anything she'd be canny enough to keep it to herself. When Lois was calm, that was usually when he had to start worrying.

In the silence Chloe decided now was the time to fill the other two in on her conversation with Martha the previous night. When she finished both Clark and Lois seemed accepting of the idea. They all agreed to let things lie and hopefully the answer would come to them.

They were all glad that Lois wasn't angry that they weren't going to run around looking for answers, not only because she had a loud voice but because she didn't hesitate to use it when showing her displeasure.

What they forgot, what they should have remembered was that Lois was never _**that**_ accepting when told there was nothing to be done.

"So what are we going to do today then?" Lois asked with a smile and lifted brow.

"Well, originally we were just going to relax, have a nice holiday and help mom with any last minute party details." Clark replied.

"Does everyone know it's an engagement party or do they just think the Kent's are having an early Christmas party?" She asked glancing around the table.

"They know it's an engagement party, it's only early November Lo." Clark reminded her.

"I see, well do you think we should tell them the engagements been put on hold and you've decided to just make it a party instead?"

"Lo, this situation should only be for five days, well four now, which means come Saturday night, your older self will be back and the engagement will still be on." Chloe gently put in.

"Joanne." Lois corrected firmly.

"Right sorry, Clark mentioned that." Trying to hide the smile behind her coffee cup Chloe looked over and noticed Martha was doing the same while Clark's face was stoic but his lips were quivering and his eyes were full of laughter. "Humm, so can I ask, why _are_ you calling yourself Joanne?"

She had to clear her throat to get the words out but she just had to ask. Clark wouldn't tell them yesterday and she had a feeling this was going to be good, Lois could always make a situation entertaining.

"I'm not calling myself Joanne, I'm calling HER Joanne; I got sick of saying 'my older self' in my head and I wasn't going to call myself Joanne, that's just dumb and it's not like I'm not calling her Harriet or anything. So I'm Lois and she's Joanne." The way Lois phrased her answer she might as well have shouted 'how stupid that anyone has to ask' causing all three of them clear their throats.

"So you've finally gotten around to giving yourself a nickname. I wondered when it was going to happen."

"It's not a nick name it's my middle name, besides it makes sense don't you think?

"Yeah I guess it does." In a Lois kind of way Chloe silently thought "So Joanne it is but Lo as I said before, when Joanne comes back the engagement will be on again."

"Ok, umm, well I could help I guess. Although I'm not very good at organising party stuff, usually I just throw some hot dogs together and serve beer."

"That's ok honey, most everything's been done. It's really just a matter of picking up supplies, like napkins and decorations, doing some shopping that kind of thing." Martha smiled.

"Ok, well I guess I can pick out some decorations, what exactly are you after?" She asked turning to Clark.

"Lo, we were going to go and pick them out together. It's only a casual party, neither of us wanted anything formal but with mom doing the cooking and Chloe helping her out, we decided to do the running around for the small stuff." Clark hoped that she wouldn't back out. Maybe she'd get caught up in the party preparations enough to be happy about the engagement.

"I see, well ok, we could do that I guess."

"You were also hoping to find a dress. You brought one along but weren't quite sure if you were happy with it, so you decided to shop around and hopefully find something better."

"Shop around in Smallville?" The town did have some nice shops but if she couldn't find something to wear in Metropolis, why on earth would she think to have better luck in Smallville.

"Yeah, there's a few new dress shops open and you decided to check them out."

"We weren't going to do that together though, right?"

"No, that you were going to do with mom and Chloe."

"Good, no offence but shopping with a man is not my idea of a good time. So who's coming to the party, anyone I know?"

"You'll know most everyone, there are some people you many not know very well but most of the people coming are friends of ours."

"But is anyone coming that I know now. I mean my now, not your now"

"A few people, your dad and Lucy, us, AC, Oliver …."

"Ollie's coming?" Lois asked; interrupting the list of names Chloe had started to recite.

Chloe quickly started talking again "Yes and other people too, Jimmy, Lana, people you know who live in Smallville, people from the Planet, you may not know them now but you will and…." Damn, she hadn't meant to say Oliver's name. In Lois' time they hadn't been broken up for long. Lois projected the picture of being fine and for the most part she was but she cared about Oliver and the sting of his leaving look a long time to heal. She quickly looked at Clark and Martha hoping they could fill in the awkward silence.

"Lo, are you alright?" Clark asked seeing the look on her face at the mention of Oliver's name.

"Ollie's coming?" she repeated.

"Yes, he's friends with both of us and wanted to be here for it." Clark could feel his heart drop. Lois was clearly shocked that Oliver was coming but she couldn't hide the hopeful look on her face at seeing him again.

"So I guess we never got back together then. When he left he said…I hoped ….." she trailed off, ducked her head and started tracing a pattern on the table top with her finger.

"Lo…"

"Hmm"

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just going to go wash up, I'll be back soon." She kept her face averted, pushed her chair back and went upstairs.

"Shit, sorry Martha, and I'm sorry Clark, I never meant to say Oliver's name. I'm just so used to saying it around our Lois that it slipped out." Chloe said remorsefully.

"It's alright. You know, back then I thought Lois got over Ollie pretty fast but she and I have talked about their relationship, so I know now that she didn't?" Clark said with a quick meaningful look at his mom.

Chloe, who was in the process of pouring herself a cup of coffee, missed the glance shared by mother and son "Well you know Lois, she tends to keep her deepest feelings hidden, she isn't one to display her pain and upset for all to see. So it's not surprising you thought she got over it so quick."

"Still I wish I'd been more observant then, been there for her to talk to if she wanted but at least she had you."

"I don't think she felt like she could talk to me. I wasn't exactly her supportive cousin at that time remember, I was too busy being jealous of her job at the inquisitor. All she said was that he left and it was over. I don't know if she expected him to come back but I think she was hoping he would." She replied before taking a sip from her cup.

"He did want her back you know." Clark grimaced in remembrance. He'd been so scared he was going to lose her to Oliver that he'd acted like an imbecile and almost lost her through his own actions instead.

"What…when did that happen?"

"I can't talk about it right now, she might hear and I can only imagine how much worse things will get."

"What'd you mean?"

Clark leant across the table and whispered "He wanted her back but by then she was with me. If……she's coming." The three people at the table quickly sat back in their seats pretending they hadn't been talking about anything of interest.

It was obvious that Lois had been trying not to cry but he'd seen her face and the tears she'd been trying to suppress before she went upstairs and his heart hurt for the pain she was feeling at Oliver's leaving and ached for himself, seeing the woman he loved torn over another man.

"Well it's too early to go shopping or looking for decorations and stuff, so what are we going to do in the meantime. Is there anything you need help with Mrs Kent?" Lois smiled at Martha.

"Not really honey, I was just going to start doing some baking but I know cooking's not one of your favourite things." Martha smiled back.

"True, I'm more of the appreciative audience to your cooking" She knew both her easy going manner and smile was forced and was grateful that no one commented on it, or god forbid, wanted to discuss it.

"We could go for a drive around town Lo and when the shops are open, we can start picking things up."

"Ok, Chloe you coming?" Lois looked over at Chloe and sent her a pleading look. She did not want to be alone with Clark. The silence would either be awkward, or he'd ask her if she was alright and want to talk about Ollie, or he'd want to talk about their own relationship. None of those options appealed to her.

"Umm, sure, it'll be fun, the three of us together. And when the stores open, Clark can just fly me back here and I'll help Martha with the baking." She couldn't resist the plea in Lois' eyes and she could tell by the look on Clarks face that he thought she'd made the right decision.

"Well it looks like you all have a plan, so I'll just start washing up the breakfast things and you can decide where you're going first." Martha said shooing them all out of the kitchen and into the lounge room, hoping that Lois would soon forget about Oliver.

***

"So where are we going first?" Lois asked.

"I don't know we could just drive around and …." Clark trailed off.

"You have no idea, do you?" Chloe said with a chuckle

"Umm, no."

"There really isn't much to see in Smallville. Not unless looking at caves, water towers, and fields of corn is your thing, and it's never been mine." Lois informed them "So why don't we visit Lana."

"Lois…" Clark started only to be cut off.

"Why?" Chloe interrupted.

"Because she needs to be kept in the loop, that's what you said right and I know you three were interested in the caves and that kind of stuff but I never was, so we should visit. We're all friends, so I was just thinking it would be nice to spend some time with her."

"Lo, what are you up to?" Clark asked suspiciously.

"Nothing but don't forget where I'm from you and her aren't talking and it's nice to be around the two of you without all the tension." She had to sell this but be very casual. God she hated subtlety, it was completely stupid. "And as she's been married, maybe she can also help us with the party preparations."

"You're not going to tell her…."

"Of course not, I told you I wouldn't."

"Sorry, you're right. But Lois, please don't try and throw Lana and I together, ok?"

"I resent that. Look you know my thoughts and I said I wasn't going to tell her anything. If you don't want her to join us, that's fine. I just thought it'd be nice." Maybe she could try for injured innocence. She'd probably pull that off as badly as she seemed to be doing trying to be subtle but shit, come on, give her a break.

All three knew exactly what Lois was up to, she was trying to be subtle but it really wasn't her strong suit. They wanted to laugh at how obvious she was being. Lois hadn't said she wouldn't try to get Lana and Clark back together, just that she wouldn't say anything to Lana herself. They knew she'd keep her word but god only knew what she'd try in the next few days.

"Fine, you two decide where we're going, I'm going upstairs to grab my purse." She said before walking out of the room and up the stairs.

***

Why the hell didn't she ever study needy, weepy females more closely, they could get what they wanted with a few crocodile tears. She had the perfect specimen right under her nose and hadn't even bothered to try and pick up a few lessons; she wanted to kick herself for missing a basic opportunity when she had the chance. Lana was the most drippy, whiney, limp noodle she'd ever met. But she got what she wanted just by letting her eyes fill up and allowing the tears to run down her cheeks all without ruining her makeup or making a sound. It was almost an art. She must have practiced for years to perfect that.

Actually that wasn't a bad trick to keep handy. She'd have to teach herself that. Guys were suckers for a girl's tears. When she cried, her eye makeup smudged making her look like a raccoon, her nose became so red she could guide Santa's sleigh and she was loud.

It wasn't fair all she wanted was to get two stubborn, orally constipated people together to try and sort themselves out, but he didn't want to be accommodating and she still thought that lying was the way to go.

She paced around the bedroom wondering what to try next. Her idea had obviously gone down like a lead balloon. If she could just get them to agree to go and see Lana, then she could ask her to hang around, be with them every day. Neither Clark nor Chloe would contradict her, they'd be afraid of hurting Lana's feelings and they wouldn't have any proof that she was trying anything. And if they did confront her afterwards, she could just remind them that ALL she'd promised was not to say anything to Lana, nothing else.

Maybe she could call Lana, tell her they were coming around and present them with a _fait accompli_ then they'd have to go along with it. No it would hurt Lana's feelings if they refused and she had to call and cancel besides she hated duplicitous behaviour, she didn't mind doing it when the cause was just or looking for the truth but she didn't have that excuse. Being sneaky to get them together was one thing but being deliberately hurtful wasn't on, especially to people that had done nothing to warrant that behaviour.

She just wanted everyone to be with the right partner, including herself, there was nothing wrong with looking out for her own self interest; she had never pretended to be a saint.

Screw it, she'd let them decide where they wanted to go but eventually she'd get her way. Clark and Lana would be back together before she left or she'd make sure that somehow she went back with her memories. Right now she didn't care which.

***

Down in the living room Chloe and Clark looked at each other, smiled and shook their heads, he glanced over and saw his mom was smiling too.

He could hear Lois pacing in the room upstairs so knew they were safe for the moment.

"Not very subtle is she?" He asked quirking his brow.

"No, I don't think she ever learned how." Chloe replied.

The three looked at each other and started to chuckle, then laughed remembering the look of innocence Lois had tried to portray when called to account.

"So what are we going to do?"

"Well she knows; we know what she's up to. She won't say anything to Lana, so I don't suppose it could hurt if we go and see her. We just need to watch Lois because she's going to do everything she can to throw the two of you together." Chloe replied with a wicked twinkle in her eye.

"I know. I knew she wouldn't give up, that's not her style. I just hope she doesn't try anything too embarrassing." Clark replied rubbing a hand around the back of his neck.

Martha wandered over "Oh, I think that's a given honey. Lois is desperate and although the situation itself isn't funny, I can only imagine what all she's going to try." Martha said smiling.

"You may want to make sure that you don't eat or drink anything she prepares for you Clark and you might want to keep an eye on Lana's intake as well." At his curious look, Chloe continued "You might find yourselves, drugged and in front of a Justice of the Peace reciting your vows if she gets desperate enough."

"Ha ha, this really isn't funny. My fiancé is trying to get me back with my ex girlfriend. It sounds like a plot to a really stupid movie." He had laughed at Lois' pathetic attempt to be innocent and would be highly entertained by whatever she tried next; if he didn't know that underneath it all she was dead serious.

"I know and I'm sorry. Look she's going to keep trying to get you two back together, there's nothing we can do to stop that, all we can do, is try and spike her guns every chance we get, ok?" Chloe patted Clark on the arm in commiseration.

"Ok, sorry for snapping." Clark replied looking at both his mom and Chloe.

"You didn't snap honey, it'll all work out. Lois is determined but I think you forget just how determined you can be too and she doesn't know you as well as you know her, so in that way you kind of have the edge."

"Yeah, I was thinking the exact same thing this morning." Clark replied "Ok, look, Chlo, can you call Lana and ask her if it's ok if we come around. Or better yet, the Talon's not open, maybe we can all just meet there, have a coffee or something before it opens for business." Clark swung to face Chloe, who nodded and withdrew her cell phone.

She wandered away to make the call and returned a couple of minutes later.

"Lana's at the Talon now getting it ready to open and she's fine with us dropping around." Chloe remarked.

"Good."

"So what are we doing?" Lois asked descending the staircase.

"We've decided to do as you suggested Lo; we're going to see Lana. She's at the Talon, so we're going to drop in for a coffee." Clark looked up and smiled.

"Great, so are we ready?" she asked swinging her purse strap onto her shoulder.

"Yep, let's go, bye mom." Clark kissed Martha on the cheek and started to hustle the two ladies out the door.

"Bye honey, bye girls."

"Bye."

"Wait, Clark, do you have your mom's list?" Lois asked putting a hand on the door frame to stop her forward momentum.

"Ah no, sorry hang on. Mom….oh thanks." He replied upon having the list shoved into his hand.

While helping her into the car, Clarks hand automatically went to Lois' back. She shrugged it off, then turned and gave him an apologetic look "Sorry I…."

"No it's alright, I'm sorry." He smiled hoping that his face didn't betray the hurt he felt at her response to his touch.

"Ok, enough of this, you're both sorry can we now go?" Chloe put in, trying to defuse the awkwardness that had fallen between them.

They gave each other embarrassed smiles then laughed.

During the drive, Clark kept an eye on Lois, she seemed unusually pensive and he hoped she wasn't trying to hatch some plot for when they got to the Talon.

Chloe caught his eye in the mirror and smiled and he gestured with his eyes for her to say something, he really couldn't think of anything. He and Lois always had something to talk about, whether it was work, their personal life or just mundane small talk. She was a talker, he was the quiet one in their relationship but their silences were usually peaceful. The air in the car didn't feel tense but there was something there and he couldn't put his finger on what it was.

"What are you thinking about Lo?" Chloe asked to break the silence and he sent her a grateful look in the mirror.

"Hmm."

Chloe repeated the question, but as the silence started to stretch out, she thought that Lois wasn't going to answer.

"Oliver." Lois replied softly.

"Oh, umm are you alright?" Once again, Chloe and Clark exchanged looks in the mirror.

"Yeah, it's just funny you know, him coming to the party. I guess I thought…..I don't know, don't worry about it" Lois gave a sad sigh, then turned and smiled. "Eight years have passed, so I ….he's not bringing a girlfriend is he?" She didn't want to see Ollie with someone else. For him it had been 8 years, for her a little over two months and she just wasn't ready.

"I don't know, the invitation did say Oliver and guest, so he could be bringing someone." Clark replied.

"Oh." Lois nodded her head before looking out the window.

"Lo, you won't be here, you'll be back where you belong but I'm still sorry I brought him up earlier." Chloe reached over and patted Lois on the arm.

"It's ok and anyway I'm engaged so screw him." She turned back around and smiled again trying to hide her unhappiness.

Clark took one hand of the wheel, reached over and gave one of her hands a squeeze. When she looked down, then back up at him again with an uncomfortable look on her face, he immediately thought back to the time in the hospital after the plane crash. This time he didn't pull his hand away, just gave her a smile and her hand another squeeze before letting go.

She just looked at him, then turned back to look out the window again.

The silence in the car seemed easier. Lois was a fighter, she wasn't one to let anything keep her down for long for which both occupants of the car were pleased.

Reaching over she switched on the music, then lay her head back and closed her eyes. She was glad that if all worked out she wouldn't be here. When Ollie left, she told him she wouldn't be waiting and she meant it. She wasn't one for wearing her heart on her sleeve or thinking the world well lost for love. But she also knew that she wasn't ready to see him. If she had too, she'd pull it off but didn't relish the thought of seeing him again so soon.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

The street outside the Talon was fairly quiet. Smallville wasn't a bustling city with people moving to and fro constantly, but considering this was the main street in the town, Lois had expected there to be more movement than there currently was.

When she looked at the time she was surprised that it wasn't quite 8.15 am and realised that the farmers would be on their farms, not rushing through the town and with it being Sunday, there wouldn't be much in the way of traffic before 10.

Lana met them at the door, smiled and gestured them inside. Lois couldn't figure out what was wrong with Clark's eyes, Lana was a beautiful woman. Ok, she wasn't exactly Miss Ugly Universe herself but Lana looked very attractive and had obviously put some extra effort into her appearance. She didn't fool herself, she knew who the extra effort was for and it wasn't the customers, but Clark seemed oblivious.

They sat down at one of the tables and when Lana offered to get everyone some coffee, Lois took her cue.

"Let me get it Lana. I've worked here long enough to know how to use the equipment, and if it's changed I'm sure I'll figure it out." She jumped up and almost pushed Lana down into the seat next to Clark.

"Ok, umm thanks, did anyone want a muffin or something to eat as well?"

"No thanks."

"No thanks."

"A muffin sounds great, I'll just go make the coffee and check out what's available."

While making the coffee, Lois surreptitiously watched Clark and Lana interact. She pretended to be wholly involved in the coffee making, but kept her face turned sideways and watched them out of the corner of her eye.

Everything looked so damn proper, they didn't do anything that could be misconstrued that she could pick up on.

"Chlo, can you give me a hand taking these coffee's over please." She hoped that leaving them alone for a moment would be enough to get them to start making googly eyes at each other.

"I'll do it Lo." Clark looked over and smiled.

"No, that's ok, Chloe how about helping me out?"

"Clark said he'd help Lo."

"Yeah so he did; thanks." She passed the tray over to him and muttered under her breath "for nothing" and stayed behind pretending an absorption in picking out her muffin. God she wasn't even hungry, she'd just finished breakfast and the damn things looked like the size of door stops. Picking out the smallest one she could find, she rejoined everyone at the table and took the seat next to Chloe.

She let the conversation float around her, while furiously trying to think up ways of getting Clark and Lana to want to spend time together, alone, without a third party getting in the way. Proximity to each other should do the rest. Actually she didn't think Lana would be that hard. Clark on the other hand would dig his heels in and be stubborn.

"Lo…Lois, hey what are you thinking about?" Chloe asked shaking her arm and bringing her back to the present.

"Oh sorry, did I miss much?"

"No, Lana was just asking if we knew anything more and I filled her in on our plan to just let it lie for now and hope something comes to us."

"Ok."

"So what's on your mind, have you thought of something?"

Right, here was her chance, try and be peppy and for god's sake make it sound romantic.

"No, I was just thinking about last summer when I came back from Europe, and you two were finally together at last. You know a couple." She waved her hand between Clark and Lana "You were both so….what's the word I'm looking for…you looked so damn cute together. Remember how Chlo and I caught you when you were kissing at Crater Lake." She beamed at them but refused to look in Chloe's direction.

"Yeah that was the day you nearly drowned, so what brought that up?" Chloe asked blandly.

So Chloe was determined to poke her nose in and ruin the romantic picture she was trying to paint. Well, Chloe should remember she was only a Sullivan; she'd never be able to take a Lane in a fight.

"I didn't nearly drown; I just had some water down the wrong pipe. I guess your mention of AC coming to the party reminded me of that day. But ….."

"Yeah you were certainly nuts about AC but hey you got over it. You know how teenage crushes are, they come and go, it happens all the time." Chloe simpered then casually leaned over to pat Clark on the back when he started coughing. "Remember how much you liked him Lo, so how do you feel about him now?"

"As I was saying…. before being so _**rudely**_ interrupted, forget about me and AC…." She gritted out between her teeth and threw Chloe the most 'shut the hell up' look she could portray. But when her cousin just smiled back, she knew the fight was on.

"C'mon Lo, you didn't answer. How do you feel about AC now?" Chloe asked politely before taking a sip of her coffee.

She couldn't see Clarks face, he had his nose almost buried in his coffee cup but Lana just looked bewildered.

Screw it, take a deep breath and if Chloe interrupts, just keep talking until she backs down.

"That's irrelevant, as I was saying…"

"You didn't …"

"….remember how happy you two were?"

"…answer my question…."

"You were finally together, happy….."

"How about AC huh….."

"I don't think I've ever seen two people…

"….you were nuts about him….."

"….as happy as you two….."

"….but you got over it ….."

"….were; Yeah you were both really…. happy." Lois finished lamely.

"That's what happens when you're a teenager." Chloe finished triumphantly.

The two cousins finished their sentences at the same time, their voices had gotten louder, neither had backed down and when Lois turned to throw a filthy look in Chloe's direction, all she received in return was a bright beaming smile.

"Oh for god's sakes Clark, do you need some cough mixture or something." Lois asked irritably. How dare Chloe try and spike her guns.

"No I'm fine, just fine." Clark waved his hand when Lana leaned over to rub his back.

"So Lo about AC…" Chloe began.

"Shut up about AC, I'm sick to death of hearing about AC, I don't want to hear his stupid name again, got it!!!!" Lois shouted crabbily.

"Got it, no more AC." How the hell could Chloe look so smug and sympathetic at the same time?

God this was so much harder than she thought it would be. Next time she'd have to try without Chloe around, maybe take them one on one. That was the best way to deal with them. Ok, maybe she'd try once again and if Chloe tried provoking her, there would be blood.

"You know what we should do, we should all go out to Crater Lake; what'd you think?" she asked chirpily looking at the occupants of the table. Lana looked surprised, Clark looked uncomfortable and Chloe was just smiling and shaking her head.

"Lo, it's the middle of winter." Chloe gently reminded her.

"Right, well you know even in winter you two …."

"So Lana what plans do you have for today?" Clark cut in; he couldn't take another example of Clark and Lana the stupid years.

He was thoroughly grateful that Lois didn't know how to be subtle but it was almost painful to watch her trying so hard. She'd soon run out of happy examples of them; if she hadn't already he thought cheerfully. But he didn't doubt her persistence to try and slip in one or two more memories, hoping to lure them into a fit of teenage lust.

Thank god for Chloe, the woman had certainly come into her own. How the hell he hadn't laughed out loud was a mystery. Poor Lois, she looked so irritated at being bested, she wasn't used to it and he could see by the look on her face, she wasn't going to give up. She just hadn't realised yet that she may be stubborn and tenacious, but she was still only 20 years old and he and Chloe had spent a lot of time with her since then.

Chloe had learnt to be almost as hard headed as Lois was; and he knew Lois intimately. He knew how her mind worked; how she calculated the odds and that she never surrendered. He was also very familiar with most of her facial expressions. He and Chloe had learnt from the best, Lois herself.

For once Lois Lane had met her match. He was playing to win and had Chloe very firmly on his side.

He listened to the conversation with half and ear, absently joining in and watched Lois. She was talking, pretending to join in on the conversation but her face told another story. Her face was a picture of innocence, which meant her mind was ticking over, no doubt trying to calculate how to throw him and Lana together.

He had the feeling that if he threw Lana on the table and started ripping her clothes off, Lois would be whistling and cheering them on. God this was depressing; but he had to admit, it was also oddly entertaining too.

He smiled, remembering back to their first work day after they moved in together. Lois had gone straight home from the Planet, but he'd been called away on a rescue and had gotten home an hour later to find her lying on the couch watching a quiz show. She loved quiz shows and watched them every chance she got.

He'd walked in the door, she had turned and smiled at him, expecting him to go over and kiss her in greeting. He wanted to laugh remembering what he did instead.

"Woman I'm home and I don't smell any dinner cooking, I've had a tough day and expect to be fed." He boomed.

Lois had all but fallen of the couch, then had gotten up and run into the kitchen. She came out a minute later with an apron around her waist and a bottle of beer in her hand. She walked over to him, gave him a peck on the cheek, helped him out of his jacket, placed the beer in his hand, led him over to the couch and gently pushed until he was sitting.

"I'm sorry honey bun, I completely lost track of time. Now let me think, what can I make my man for dinner?" She smiled sweetly and tapped her chin and he was very, very afraid. Either she was really going to cook, which was one disaster he really didn't want to face, or she was going to clock him one when he least expected it. He decided to just let the game play out instead.

"Well hurry up woman, starving man here." He yelled then quickly smothered his grin.

"Yes sweetie, back in a minute." And she disappeared back into the kitchen again.

She came out a few minutes later with several flyers in hand "So, do you feel like, Chinese, Italian, Indian, or something else?" Then she smiled sweetly again and he knew he was in trouble.

"I thought you were going to make dinner?" He said in relief, but still tried to stay true to his role of 1950's husband.

She just beamed at him and replied "I made the money that's going to pay for dinner, that's close enough."

"Lo you don't have to pay for dinner, I was just teasing."

"Oh, I fully intend to pay for dinner and afterwards, you're going to PAY for making me pay for dinner." Then she smiled and winked before sliding into his lap.

He had enjoyed paying her back; in fact he'd enjoyed it so much he had ended up giving her an advance on their next meal out. She snootily informed him it didn't work that way, she wasn't a bank, then gave a long suffering sigh and informed him that as he'd paid extra she'd just have to give him some change, causing both of them to laugh. They had certainly christened their new living arrangements. It was also a damn good thing Superman wasn't needed for almost 48 hours after that night; he was almost too exhausted to do anything more than lift his pencil to take notes the next day at work. He'd certainly met his match in Lois, the woman had more stamina than any two women put together, _not_ that he was complaining.

***

Clark was brought out of his musings abruptly, he didn't realise he'd zoned out until he heard Lois thank Lana for her help. What help, what'd miss and where was Chloe?

"Umm where's Chloe?"

"Oh she's gone to the ladies and that's actually not a bad idea, I'll be back in a few minutes." Lois replied before smiling at the two of them and sauntering off.

"Umm Clark is it my imagination or was Lois trying to play cupid with us before?" Lana asked when Lois was no longer in the room.

When Joanne got back she was going to owe him big time for this "No, she's just confused. Where she's from you and I are barely talking. So she's just enjoying seeing us, not only having a civil conversation but able to be in each other's company without arguing." He smiled hoping to wipe the concern of Lana's face.

"Oh, that's good. I was kind of worried for a minute." When he saw relief spread across her face, he relaxed in turn.

"I know, don't worry about it, once she gets used to seeing us in each other's company, she'll settle down." Oh, yeah she'll settle down all right, as much as a Rottweiler would settle down looking at a juicy piece of steak.

Lois wouldn't give up, he had to remember that, she'd try talking them up again so he'd better make sure that Lana was aware of what was coming without alerting her to Lois's true purpose.

"Lois isn't the most tactful person, so just ignore anything she says. She didn't mean to spot light our relationship and try to paint a romantic picture of us. She's not trying to get us back together or anything, she's just been reminiscing about our past…. I mean all our pasts not yours and mine and she's just really happy to see us together…ha, I mean together as friends, only friends, you know talking and not see us mooning over each other and …." shut up, shut up, shut up. Could he sound any more stupid? He could feel his face heat with embarrassment and forced out a laugh. When Joanne got back, she was going to owe him bigger than big.

"It's ok I know what you meant." Lana laughed.

"Ah ah ha, yeah umm sorry Lana but I kind of zoned out there for a minute, was Lois thanking you for letting us come here this morning?" He sincerely hoped he hadn't missed anything but he didn't know how long Chloe had been gone before Lois pounced.

"No, she asked if I'd mind sticking around with you guys just in case I remembered anything."

"Oh, sure umm so what'd you say?" Shit, she must have noticed he wasn't paying attention and he gave himself a mental slap to be more vigilant in future.

"Well at first it seemed kind of odd, I mean if I remembered anything I could always phone but Lois was kind of adamant and well, she's not an easy person to say no to. Before I knew it, I was saying yes. I don't know how it happened but she was thanking me almost before I got a yes out."

"Ha yeah that's Lo, she's a talker alright." And he was going to be having a nice long talk with her too "So when you say sticking with us you mean …."

"Oh well, she asked if I could just spend time with you…all of you during the day, come to dinner every night to talk about any progress, that kind of thing. I mentioned that I thought it was decided to let things lie but she said I might remember something that wouldn't register at the time. And when I reminded her I had the Talon to run during the day she offered to help out if my staff couldn't. She's really very thoughtful." Lana smiled.

"Yeah, she really is and here they come. Lo can I talk to you outside for a minute?" Didn't he remind himself this morning that he'd have to watch her? Until Joanne came back he had to keep both eyes and ears on Lois. Shit, he'd been calling his Lois, Joanne without even realising it. Why did he love this woman, she was going to be the death of him.

Lois smiled casually "Sure back in a few."

***

Lana kept one ear on the conversation with Chloe while mentally reviewing her conversation with Lois. She wasn't stupid, she knew exactly what Lois was doing and was more than happy to help her out.

Poor Clark, she felt so sorry for him, he was embarrassed by Lois' blatant attempts to remind them of their youthful relationship. It couldn't be easy, young Lois was in her older counter parts body so Clark was hearing young Lois but seeing his fiancé trying to palm him off onto someone else. This should be even easier than she thought.

If she read the situation right, Clark was right now either annoyed or angry with Lois and it wouldn't take long for him to get more than a little fed up with her and need a woman who not only knew what she wanted but one who was understanding and loved him.

Just as she thought last night, Lois would drive Clark away all on her own.

She couldn't help wondering how long it would take for Clark to turn to her, by her estimation it wouldn't be long at all.

***

Chloe didn't know what she missed but by the look on Clark's face when she got back it wasn't good. If she hadn't needed to use the ladies she would have held off but by the time she actually went, she was lucky she made it in time.

She'd tried whispering Clark's name under her breath for several minutes without gaining either Lana or Lois' notice but wherever his mind was, it certainly hadn't been in the Talon with the rest of them and in the end she'd had to go.

Wasn't he the one that warned them to watch Lois, wasn't he the one who said to be on guard. She knew he'd been thinking of Joanne she could see it in his eyes but at the moment he couldn't afford to let his mind wander. He could reminisce as much as he liked on his own time but not when Lois was around and she'd remind him of that if he tried to blame her for whatever happened.

Ok, she didn't mean that but he had to remember he was dealing with a different Lois Lane than the one he was used to. He hadn't dealt with _**this**_ Lois in eight years, this one wanted rid of him in whatever way she could and she wouldn't stop to be polite about it either. Ok neither would Joanne but… Shit! She couldn't believe that Lois had her doing it now too. Although considering Lois called Clark, Smallville almost from the start and he not only answered to it but everyone knew who she was talking about it and responded accordingly it wasn't really surprising. She'd bet Clark and Martha were also calling her Joanne too. Hah, when she came back, if Clark called her Joanne while they were having sex….oh god DON'T GO THERE. Hell, here she was talking about Clark letting his mind wander and she was no better…..although Lois wasn't here so it wasn't the same and really….oh fuck what the hell had she been thinking about….right Joanne wasn't exactly polite; when she wanted something she went for it. But she would never try to get rid of Clark and if he tried to get rid of her, he'd not only get an up close and personal definition of what a woman scorned actually meant, he'd soon find out just what an angry Lois Lane could and would do to him.

She glanced outside and could tell that whatever Lois and Clark were discussing it looked heated. Lois was trying to look innocent and Clark looked like he was getting frustrated. Oh, oh, oh, this did not look good. Maybe she'd better finish up and go save him.

She looked over to tell Lana they had to go but realised that Lana was smiling and gesturing and had been talking the whole time. What the hell was Lana talking about, it took her a couple of moments to realise Lana was talking about bringing something over for dinner.

Dinner, Lana was coming to dinner again! Ok she needed to find out just what she missed and gave Lana her whole attention. What she learnt was that Lois must have dive bombed on Lana the minute she'd left for the ladies. Shit, shit, shit.

***

Clark wasn't angry; he was annoyed but mostly at himself. He'd let his mind wander thinking of Joanne and now they'd have Lana with them pretty much all the time. Here he was hoping that if they spent time together Lois would get to know him, get to see that he'd changed but she wasn't interested. He knew that, he'd known it all along but it still hurt.

He was an idiot, this woman who looked like his fiancée wasn't her; he didn't have the luxury of getting lost in daydreams about Joanne because he was missing her. He could do that when he was by himself and promised himself he would, god knows he'd need it if only to keep his sanity, but right now Lois needed to be watched, watched like a hyena. They were damn intelligent animals who moved in for the kill at the first sign of weakness. She had seen that Chloe was gone, he was distracted and grabbed Lana up in her greedy little paws and almost devoured her before Lana managed to raise the white flag in surrender and agreed to be their constant companion. God only knows what she'd do next.

"Clark did you actually want to say anything or did you just ask me outside to watch you pace?"

"What?" god he was doing it again. He was so busy talking to himself about not letting his mind drift off, that he'd actually started to do it.

"Pacing, you know back and forth. Is there a reason you wanted to talk to me or are you trying out for a modelling job? I have to tell you if you are; you're going about it the wrong way and …."

"Lois stop! You're not going to throw me off track. I want to know why you asked Lana to spend so much time with us. You said you weren't going to try and throw us together and we haven't been here for five minutes and you're already doing it."

"Actually we've been here for more than five minutes."

"Lois…"

"Fine, I'm not trying to throw you and Lana together at all. Why do you think everything's about you anyways? This is about me. Lana was around back then and I just thought she could help."

"Really, you don't think asking her to be with us every minute of the day is kind of overkill. If she remembered anything she could phone." He didn't believe her for a minute.

"Yeah but you know what it's like, sometimes you can't see the forest for the trees, Lana may notice something but not think it's important at the time. This way if she does, she'll be with us."

"Lois, come on, that's lame even for you. You just want Lana and I back together, admit it?"

"Yeah so, you know that already. But my plan is to get the two of you back together when I went back. You know, when you were playing the 'eternal love twits' _**not now**_. You've both said you don't want to be together now but…"

"Hang on, what'd you mean 'we both said'? You already know that I don't. When did you ask Lana?"

"Yesterday."

"What, When!?!?

"Before I came back to the farm for lunch." She replied patiently.

Shit!!! "Ok, what did you ask and what did she say?" he asked slowly and clearly. He'd fed Lana a bunch of bull about Lois **not** trying to match them up not 10 minutes ago. Just how much damage control was he going to need to do now?

"Oh don't get all uptight. I just asked her if she still loved you and if she might want you back. She said no. Satisfied?"

"No, but go on."

"Go on with what and what'd you mean no? Are you sorry she said no because maybe I can talk to her and …." She knew she was aggravating him, but he was just so easy that she couldn't help herself.

"NO!!" Clark rubbed his fingers across his brow and took a deep breath "I mean I wasn't satisfied with you asking her at all. Have you no shame?"

"Very little, but hey if we're engaged then you should already know that about me, right?"

Why did he love this woman, WHY?!?! "Ok, getting back to what we were discussing, you said you weren't going to try and get Lana and I back together, but I think that's exactly what you're attempting to do by asking her to join us."

"You're really becoming paranoid. I told you before I asked her to join us for **me**, not you. I wanna go back, I don't want to stay in this twilight zone episode of my life and if having Lana around 24/7 will help me achieve that then I think it's worth it. Don't you want Joanne back?"

"**God Yes**!!!" his answer was so heartfelt she couldn't help being a tiny bit insulted.

"See but as I was saying, I was gonna try to get you two back together when I go back. I mean c'mon you know back there, you'll jump at the chance to get her back and that's when I intend to strike, not now."

"Lois, please don't do anything to embarrass me or Lana, please."

"Clark, I'm not totally insensitive, give me some credit ok?" She paused before deciding to bring up her next idea. "But I was thinking…."

"Yes." He was wary; the look in her eyes was almost like that of a cobra before it struck.

"Well I don't really know your taste, I've never cared enough to learn but you must know mine right" at his head nod "Well then I was thinking, I really wouldn't be much help, so instead of you and I getting the decorations, maybe you and Lana could do it …."

"No!"

"Just hear me out. Lana knows your taste; you know mine, and she's been married, so she could give you some ideas. You can't do it on your own; you need a woman's touch so she'll be perfect and in the meantime I can get the odds and sods, what'd you think?"

"No!"

"Why not?" She didn't think he'd go for it but it was worth a try. Maybe she could try confusing him, she was the master of double speak when she needed to be.

"Because as I said before, you're just hoping that if Lana and I spend some time together that teenage feelings will return."

"Don't be stupid, I can be a lot more subtle than that!"

"No you can't."

"Yes I can, besides what…. you think I'm hoping the two of you are going to get it on between the streamers and party hats. Even I'm not that pathetic."

"I can do it myself."

"You need a woman's touch."

"Then Chloe can help me."

"She's helping your mom."

"Then you can do it."

"You're just bringing this conversation back to the start, you know that right?"

"Lois I don't want Lana."

"You mean her help."

"I mean at all."

"Ok but I don't get where this conversation is going."

"You know exactly where it's going. I don't want Lana's help, I don't need Lana's help and I don't want Lana."

"You're just repeating yourself."

"Lois…" he growled.

"Great, so I'll go tell Lana that you want her help, or do you wanna do it?" she was winning, had he learnt _**nothing**_ from being around her?!

"I don't want either of us to do it."

"You know I'm starting to wonder if you just don't trust yourself around her. Is that the problem because if so, then maybe you need to rethink this engagement? I mean if you can't even be in a shop with your EX-girlfriend then maybe you're just not ready to move on and I think…."

"Ok, ok, **fine**!!! I'll ask Lana for her help. I can control myself around her. I just thought that since it's OUR engagement that WE should pick out the decorations but fine, I'll ask my ex-girlfriend for her help. Happy!! Forget the looks I'm sure to get from everyone when they find out my ex helped me; or the embarrassment I'll feel but to make you happy, I'll ask for Lana's help."

"Great!"

"That's it. That's all you have to say?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You don't care about how embarrassing this going to be?"

"Grow up Clark! Unless the two of you intend to have sex on the decorations I don't see the problem."

"Lois I know you and I know what you're doing."

"I don't know what you're talking about." He was getting so frustrated that she actually felt a tiny speck of pity for him.

"Like hell you don't. You want Lana and I back together and you don't care how you achieve it but when Joanne comes back, she's going to be really pissed at herself."

"Why?"

"For trying to throw Lana and I together."

"If I…. and I mean I at any age, can't trust you around Lana then we have no business getting married."

"It has nothing to do with trust and you know it."

"You're just trying to confuse me. Now are you going to get Lana to help or not?"

"No!"

"Fine but when Joanne comes back and wants to know why you have no decorations or why the ones you have totally suck, you have to tell her that you didn't trust yourself with Lana and that's the reason."

"I trust myself but I'm not sure that I can trust you!"

"Well that's another reason not to get married and if you can't even trust the woman you're supposed to marry…."

"I'M NOT MARRYING YOU!!!"

"Really." Lois replied smoothly. She knew that she must be wearing the 'cat that ate the canary' expression on her face, but found it impossible to banish.

Clark pinched the bridge of his nose, inwardly cursing himself for falling for her tricks. He knew this woman, there was very little about her that he didn't know. Ok Kent, deep breath and try again "You know what I mean."

"Don't have a clue but thank you anyway."

"Lois promise….promise me you won't try and …..I don't know do something that'll just humiliate all of us; yourself included."

"Give me a break. I'm not promising anything you're the boy-scout not me. I told you I'm not insensitive and I can do subtle when it's called for, and that's just gonna have to be good enough for you. Don't you trust me at all?"

"No!"

"Well then I'm going to have to call of this engagement. I'd never marry someone who doesn't trust me."

"First of all, you can't call of the engagement, only Joanne can do that and she won't because I won't let her and second, I am so going to remind you of this when you get back, you're going to owe me big time." Clark said in satisfaction.

"You mean you're going to remind Joanne, not me and what exactly do you mean by saying you won't let me….her call of the engagement? If she wants out, you can't stop her!"

"Oh yeah!" He asked leaning down and pushing his face an inch from hers.

"Yeah!" She replied back, pushing her face close enough that she was felt her eyes go cross eyed.

"Well I've got news for you. If Joanne… hell I mean if Lois ever tries to leave me, I've already told her that I'm going to chain her up so she can't escape until she changes her mind."

Her shoulders started shaking, her lips began to tremble and then she was laughing like crazy. She leant against the Talon wall screaming with laughter and before she realised it she was holding onto Clark who was laughing with her "For…for a boy-scout you can be really kinky." She said wiping her eyes.

"**I'm** kinky, I can't believe half the stuff you've taught me since we've been together." He really and truly enjoyed seeing the look of embarrassment on her face. God he was crazy about her. He loved HIS Lois but had to admit this younger version was growing on him all by her charming self, and knowing she was going to grow up into his fiancé, made him wish he'd appreciated her more back in the day.

"Cut it out I really don't wanna hear the details." She could feel her damn cheeks were burning.

"I have no intention of sharing them; not even with you." He inclined his head smiling "But I want you to know that I trust my Lois implicitly."

"Yeah yeah. Well I guess we have to get the decorations together then huh?"

"You'll help, you won't try to back out or push Lana onto me?"

"I'll help. The truth is, the reason why we need the decorations makes me uncomfortable but as for Lana I don't know what you're talking about."

"Somehow I thought you'd say that but can you at least try and turn down the cheer meter when talking about Lana and I, you know we weren't happy, so you're playing that all wrong."

"Nope, no idea what you're talking about, I was just reminiscing y'know. It's so nice to see you and Lana talking and being friendly that I got a little carried away but there's nothing wrong with that, after all everyone's friends now, right?"

"Uh huh well, while you don't know what I'm talking about, here's something else for you to ponder over. Just in case you haven't realised it yet, Chloe's on my side fighting FOR us, so you won't get her to back you up."

"I still don't know what you're talking about but I'm gonna have to talk to her about that, she's supposed to be _**my**_ cousin. Well let's get back inside and make some plans."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

"Now that we're open for business, did you want to go up upstairs?" Lana asked looking between the three.

"Good idea we can discuss our plans for the day."

Once upstairs the four took their seats and seeing the look on Lois's face, Clark decided to step in before she could talk.

"We really have to leave, I'm just going to drop Chloe off at home and then Lois and I are going shopping for decorations and things but …."

"Why don't we all have lunch together at your place?" Lois cut in smoothly turning to address Lana.

"My place, ok umm....did you want me to make something?"

"No that's ok; Clark and I can grab something. I don't want to ask Mrs Kent because she's got enough on her plate cooking for the party but since we're just going to take it easy and let our minds stew on what's caused this, we should try and enjoy ourselves. So why don't we meet back at your place at 12.30? Clark you know where it is right?"

"Yes but …."

"Chlo do you need Clark to pick you up or did you want to drive over yourself?"

"I can drive myself but I'm supposed to be helping Martha remember."

"Yeah, but it's only lunch Chlo and you have to eat; maybe Mrs Kent can come with you and afterwards, we can get rid of Clark and the four of us girls can go shopping. What'd you think?"

"I guess that sounds ok." Chloe and Lana nodded their heads in unison.

"Great. So we'll all meet up in a few hours. By the way, do you two have to find something to wear for the party too, or is it just me?"

"I have something."

"I have a dress but shopping is always good."

"That's what I always say." Lois tapped her chin and smiled nicely "You know Lana, that dress you wore to the prom was beautiful. Don't you guys think so? Maybe you could get something similar."

"Lois that dress was for a prom, not an engagement party, and the style is now almost 10 years old." Chloe responded dryly after sharing a look of understanding with Clark.

"But it was a classic look and Lana looked so beautiful, radiant even."

"Ah…I um thanks."

"No, no don't thank me for the truth. Don't you think Lana looked beautiful Clark?"

"I…I ….yeah, you looked nice." He uttered lamely.

"_**Nice**_, nice is the best you can do; men!" Lois rolled her eyes and shook her head sadly "I remember at the prom you couldn't take your eyes of Lana, in fact…"

"Sorry but we have to go; we'll meet up at 12.30."

"Clark don't you have to drop Chloe off. I'll just stay here with Lana until you get back, ok?"

"Actually Lois, I'll only be gone for a few minutes, so you might as well wait for me outside."

"A few minutes, the drive takes longer than a few minutes Clark."

"I'm Superman; I'm going to fly her back."

"Well you may be Superman but Chloe's not super, so it will still take longer than a few minutes."

"Lois!"

"What?"

"We have to go Lana but we'll see you later ok?" And grabbing Lois by one arm he practically pulled her out the door.

***

"Are you trying to bruise me? I just ask because I think your fingers are going to be permanently indented into my arm."

"Lois I am not holding you hard enough to hurt you and you know it. Now I'm going to take Chloe back and I expect to find you right here waiting by the car when I come back, ok?"

"Nope!"

"What do you mean 'nope'?"

"Just what I said, I'm not a dog and you aren't my master."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to act dictatorial but please don't go running back inside to Lana again. I think two shots of Lois Lane cupid is enough to make anyone gag so early in the morning."

"Hey!"

"Lo, Clark's right. Give it a rest for ten minutes."

"I don't know what the two of you are talking about and anyway, I didn't say anything inappropriate, I was just stating the truth and at one time you would have loved it."

"That time has long since passed."

"Just go and drop Chloe off so we can get this shopping over with already."

"Ok, I'll be back soon."

"Yeah, yeah."

***

"Sorry Chlo, but this is going to be quick. I promise I won't let you be hurt but I just have to keep an eye on her."

"Believe me, I totally understand. You do know I'm going to tell your mom right?"

"I had a feeling; just try not to enjoy it too much ok?"

"We're not going to enjoy it; it's just to keep her up to date."

"Uh huh."

"Ok, so we're going to enjoy it a little but Clark we do know that underneath the humour of it all that this isn't easy for you, so we promise that although we might laugh, we realise that Lois is serious."

"That's what I'm scared off."

"She won't succeed Clark. Look while Lois is busy trying to throw you and Lana together, we're all going to be busy finding a way to send her back without her memory to change anything."

"I know; thanks Chlo. Ok, here you go, see you at Lana's." He replied with a roll of his eyes before taking off.

***

Chloe opened the back door, walked into the kitchen and found Martha surrounded by baking pans, trays, flour, sugar and all sorts of ingredients spread over the counter in preparation for cooking.

"Ok Martha you have got to hear this." Chloe said smiling.

"Hear what? I'd ask if anything was wrong but by the look on your face nothing happened so ..."

"Oh something happened all right. Ok let's sit down." After taking seats at the kitchen table, Chloe began. "You know how Lois said she wanted to go and see Lana this morning with the excuse that everyone's friends again now."

"Yes."

"Well, I swear we hadn't been there more than 10 seconds before she started trying to throw Clark and Lana together. I wanted to laugh, god she really thinks that she can be subtle but …"

"What?"

"First she jumped up and insisted on making the coffee and all but pushed Lana into Clark's lap, then she tried to get me to help carry the tray over to the table, even after Clark offered and she'd refused. I don't know how long she expected me to take carrying the coffee over, but I think she was hoping it would be long enough that Clark would have time to ravish Lana on the table top…. and then she brought out the big guns." Chloe started to laugh.

"What'd she do?"

"She started talking about when they first got together after the meteor shower. She was trying to paint this romantic picture of them, but all she could keep saying was how happy they looked."

"Oh no, the poor thing." Martha grinned in sympathy.

"The poor thing, Clark was so embarrassed he had his nose buried in his cup, so I had to step in."

"What'd you do?"

"I brought up AC and how she was nuts about him as a teenager and if the look she shot me was any indication, I'd be in hospital right now, then…"

"Then what?"

"Then while she was banging on about Clark and Lana, I was purposely talking loudly over her, reminding her about her teenage infatuation with AC and how she got over it, but that's not even the best part."

"There's more."

"Oh yeah, I had to go to the ladies, Clark wasn't paying any attention, and he was lost in some dream world, no doubt thinking of Joanne…"

"Joanne huh, so now she's got you saying it!"

"Hey..., I bet you are too, right?"

"Maybe, but…"

"But nothing, I'm not surprised and I bet Clark's doing it too…anyway" Chloe stopped to wave her hand and started grinning "When I got out of the bathroom Lois was at the sink washing her hands and the look on her face was like….like a snake basking itself after a really big satisfying meal. I asked her what was up, but she just shook her head and smiled and when we joined the others, I found out just why she looked so pleased with herself."

"Why?" Martha could feel the grin on her face getting bigger.

"Because she's somehow conned Lana into hanging around every minute of the day; including joining us for dinner every night."

"What did Clark say?"

"I don't know because when we got back to the table he took Lois outside to talk and that's when I found out about Lana hanging around. When I looked he appeared frustrated and she was pretending to look innocent but by the time they came back in, a truce of some kind had been reached."

"Poor Clark."

"Oh yeah, but I haven't finished."

"There's more?"

"Uh huh. We all went up to Lana's office and Lois managed to arrange for all of us, you included, to meet at Lana's for lunch today, then we girls are all going shopping afterwards."

"That's not so bad."

"Not bad at all, except she started waxing lyrical about how Lana should get a dress just like the one she wore to the prom, because she looked so beautiful in it, and how she was always so beautiful and didn't Clark think she was beautiful."

"No!"

"I swear." Chloe and Martha looked at each other and burst out laughing.

"Ok I have to admit I wish I'd been there but poor Clark."

"I know, I promised Clark that although we may laugh about it, we did realise that underneath Lois was as serious as a heart attack."

"I'm glad. We know she's serious but what she doesn't know is that it's three against one. I don't mean that in a bad way, I just mean that we're all going to be working to send her back without any memory of being here and in the mean time any tricks she tries to get Clark interested in Lana aren't going to work."

"Not a chance in hell. I just don't think she wants to face the fact that Clark isn't the same boy she knows. So she's under the delusion that by dangling Lana in front of him like a carrot, will work the same way it does where she comes from."

"Yes exactly, she's trying to play on his feelings for Lana but she's using the feelings that she's familiar with, not the real ones, not the ones' she doesn't want to face."

"Still it'll be entertaining if nothing else and when Joanne comes back, I'm really going to enjoy telling her what her younger counterpart did."

"Oh I think Clark will want that privilege."

"Damn!"

"Never mind Chloe, I'm sure in the next few days something will come up that you can enjoy teasing her about."

"You think?"

"Mmm hmm, now how about we start baking, if we have to be at Lana's for lunch we don't have much time."

***

When Clark got back to town it was to find Lois looking into the window of the florist and was grateful she hadn't gone running back into the Talon on one pretext or another.

"Ok I'm back."

"Fine so have you checked your moms list, what do we have to get?"

"Oh um, just a sec….ok, well we can get the decorations first."

"You know I don't remember any shop that sells decorations in Smallville, or is that something new that I've yet to discover?"

"No there aren't any particular wedding/engagement type shops but there are a few shops that sells some nice stuff that we can check out."

"Let's go then."

After looking through a number of shops that were all declared as boring, uninteresting or downright tacky, Lois finally turned to Clark with a frustrated expression "Ok, this is a waste of time, why don't we just go to Metropolis, there are some nice big department stores there and I'm sure we can find something better than check table clothes or motifs of barn yard animals."

"Well I did see one or two nice things."

"Then why didn't you get them?"

"Because you weren't interested."

"Look, Clark I'm not Joanne, you don't have to try and make me happy. If you like them and you think she'll like them, just get them."

"But you are her Lois, she's older and I like to think her taste in men has improved but you are still her." He said smiling and knocking her arm with his.

"Well then, if you think that my taste in stuff is the same as hers, and I didn't like what you liked, then you'd better not get them."

"See."

"Ok, well it's almost noon, why don't we grab some food to take to Lana's?"

"We could get a couple of pizzas."

"Or we could just go to one of the restaurants, order what we want and tell them it's take away."

"Lo, they really don't do much in the way of take away here."

"Never know unless you ask. Besides everyone knows us here, so they're not going to think that we intend to steal their discount country dinnerware."

"Ok, what'd you feel like?"

"Steak with roast potato and all the trimmings."

"Kinda hungry are you?"

"Starving!"

"How can you be? I mean you ate breakfast, then you had that huge muffin at the Talon." he grinned and watched her out of the corner of his eye but quickly smoothed out his features at the look she shot at him. "So; how come you're hungry again?"

"I don't know, I just am."

"Hmm, I wonder if scheming makes you hungry, could that be it?" he posed the question in the most innocent voice he could. It was petty but he enjoyed making her squirm after her earlier stunts.

"You know, you've become a real smart ass in the last eight years."

"It's from hanging around with you; I was just a sweet innocent farm boy before you got your city girl hands on me."

"These particular city girl hands have never been on you."

"Actually these particular ones have, it's the ones back in the Medical Centre that haven't….. yet." He tried to smother his grin but couldn't and wasn't at all surprised when she punched him.

"Shut up, food is all I want to discuss."

"Yes dear."

***

Lana answered the door on the first knock and ushered them into the house.

"I'll just put this stuff in the kitchen."

"What did you get?"

"Lois felt like steak, so we got some steaks and fried chicken with assorted roast vegetables, that way there's sure to be something that everyone's in the mood for."

"But where did you get it, they don't have take away meals here."

"We just asked and they said yes. Don't be surprised if it becomes the new trend in Smallville. Mind if I use your bathroom and also have a look around your house?"

"That's fine, the bathroom's just down the hall."

"Thanks back soon."

After using the facilities Lois poked her head into all the rooms and found it quite charming. It wasn't overly big more like a large cottage but it was nice. The first room she saw was filled with paints, palettes, mixing trays and an easel, she figured Lana must really be into painting and judging by the picture drying she also had quite bit of talent.

The room next to the stairs was a guest lounge, it seemed to have that 'never stepped foot in it feel' going up the stairs she found an office, a guest bedroom and at the end of the hall was the master bedroom and en-suite.

The master bedroom was stunning; the carpet was in a light pastel colour and looked thick and plush. She slipped her shoes off and found that it was also incredibly soft and was tempted to either take her socks off and glide through the pile, or lie down on the floor and roll around for a while.

The wallpaper was a soft delicate yellow with touches of white with light blue cornflowers. The room had a light fresh, airy scent and she closed her eyes to inhale. Opening her eyes she noticed that there were candles scattered around and a couple of bowls with flower petals and after sniffing several candles she realised that only some had scent while others were clearly for ambiance.

There were two large, open windows that would invite the spring or summer breeze into the room and she could imagine at night that the moon would slant in and land on the bed, creating an otherworldly kind of setting. The Curtains were made of light, gauzy, cotton and added a sweet and romantic aspect.

The bed was positioned so while lying down you could look out the window or have the moon drift in. The bed was absolutely beautiful, large and inviting and after sitting down on it she found it was also incredibly soft. Lying down she closed her eyes, the pillows were plush and fluffy, the mattress felt heavenly and caressed every inch of her body and the comforter was beautiful in a soft airy cotton trimmed with lace and smelt faintly of a lavender or rosemary, she was surprised her allergies hadn't kicked in but intended to enjoy this experience while it lasted.

Lifting up on her elbows she surveyed the rest of the room, her eyes drifted over the dressing table, the armoire that held a vase full of mixed flowers on top and the bedside table which held a couple more candles, some massage oils and a photo of her parents (or people that she presumed were Lana's parents), then drifted over the loveseat that was placed under the window. Hanging on the walls were picture frames that held a couple of watercolours that Lana herself more than likely painted, her eyes finally came to rest on the large trunk sitting at the foot of the bed. After trailing her finger over the bedside table and peeking under the valance she noted there were also no dust and no dust-bunnies hiding under the bed. The room was absolutely spotless.

She wanted this room and she definitely wanted this bed, lying down again she stretched out and pushed her arms under the pillow just enjoying the feel of being a sybarite and devoting her life to luxury and pleasure.

Her face became a little puzzled, everything about the room was lush, romantic, beautiful, but the sheet under her hand didn't seem to fit the setting. Half lifting up, she pulled the pillow away and realised it wasn't the sheet she was feeling but Clark's shirt, the red and gold plaid one.

Lana could have kept it after she and Clark broke up but it didn't smell of perfume, it smelt of a man's aftershave. She could have worn it for someone else but no man would put up with her wearing an ex-boyfriends shirt if they were going to have sex, neither would they wear it themselves, not even for the extra titillation. Admittedly some people were weird and got their jollies a number of different ways but that just seemed too out there for her to accept.

So the aftershave had to be Clarks, she'd check it out but if it was, then logically there was no way that the shirt would still smell of Clark's aftershave several years after they broke up. Aside from it being washed and losing the scent after so long, there wouldn't be anything left to smell. Which could only mean one of two things, Clark had worn the shirt recently and left it behind or …or what?

Well it just went to show that she should always trust her instincts and looking around the room again saw it with fresh eyes. This was a bedroom created to please all the senses. To enhance intimacy and comfort, it was inviting and romantic and screamed 'haven' and as her eyes landed on the massage oil, bounced over the candles and landed back on the shirt in her hand, she wondered if Clark and Lana were already fooling around behind Joanne's back and if this was their 'love nest' a place where they could be alone, away from prying eyes.

If they were seeing each other, how did she feel about it? For herself, she couldn't care less what he did or with whom he did it but on Joanne's behalf she was pissed. Shit, here she'd been hoping to lure them back to each other on the off chance she couldn't retain any recollection of being in this time, and now she'd just found out that they might already be together and he just hadn't gotten up the nerve to tell Joanne yet.

If they were seeing each other she had to find out, she had to know because she sure as hell didn't want Joanne caught up in this mess.

She'd get them to spend some time together and this time she'd watch them, people always had little tells, especially people who were intimate. Secret lovers always tried to hide their liaison but little things gave them away, a look, a touch, a quiet shared smile. She'd watch them and she'd know.

She got up, refolded the shirt, tucked it back under the pillow, smoothed down the comforter, re-fluffed the pillows and walked out.

***

When Lois got back downstairs it was to find that Martha and Chloe had arrived and everyone was sitting at the table obviously wanting to eat but waiting patiently for her.

"Sorry, I kind of got stuck in your bedroom. Lana that has to be the most beautiful room I've ever seen and I have to admit to lying down on the bed."

"That's ok, it is nice."

"Nice, it's stunning. I want that room and I think I'm going to have to find a way to remember it or get you to come and do mine."

"What's it like?"

"You haven't seen it! Chloe, Mrs Kent before we go, check it out. I guarantee you won't want to leave."

"Do you mind if I take a peek Lana?"

"No that's fine." She laughed. "I have to admit to spending quite a bit of time making sure it was exactly as I wanted it."

"Well whatever time you spent was definitely worth it." Taking her seat at the table she started to uncover the plates and her mouth began to water at the smell of the steak. "Ok there are three steaks here and one's mine, the rest are up for grabs." and so saying she picked up the large fork, grabbed onto the steak and put it onto her plate causing everyone else to start helping themselves to the food.

There wasn't much conversation, other than pass the vegetables or salt or butter, Lois devoted herself to the food as did everyone else but she did notice that the smell of Clarks aftershave was the same scent she'd gotten from the shirt upstairs and now had to find out if what she suspected was true or not.

***

"Ok, now that was nice, I haven't had steak in ages."

"Yeah gotta admit it was nice."

"So do we have desert?"

"Well I made a peach cobbler last night; we could have that with whipped cream."

"You cooked, yeah bring it on."

"I'll warm it up in the oven first, it will only take about 30 minutes but that should be enough time to let our lunch settle."

"Great."

"Lana do you mind if we go up and check your bedroom out in the meantime?"

"No that's fine, I know Lois said it was nice but please just let me run up first and make sure that it's not even a little messy."

"It's not truly."

"I'll just be a moment." Lana said before rushing up the stairs and came back down a few minutes later. "Lois was right but it would have been really embarrassing if there were towels and things lying around. It's the door at the end of the hall at the top of the stairs."

Martha and Chloe dutifully walked upstairs to look at the room; Lana put the cobbler in the oven and then rejoined Clark and Lois at the table.

"I'll wash up Lana, that way we can take the dishes back before we go shopping." Lois said getting up to clear away but Lana waved her down and insisted that it was only a few plates and she would do them.

"Lana, you've let us come here for lunch, let me wash up ok, I'm used to it." Clark smiled and got to his feet.

Lana nodded and while Clark washed, she dried and Lois watched them both.

There didn't seem to be anything there. Lana was chatting and Clark was responding but they just didn't seem to have that air of 'cheating'. There were no secret little smiles, locked eyes, hands touching more than necessary or quickly pulling away. If they were cheating they were damn good at hiding it. She knew as soon as she saw Lana with Clark last night that she still loved him, but Clark didn't seem to be giving off the same vibe.

She still couldn't explain the shirt or the aftershave but found it hard to imagine Clark being involved in an illicit affair, he'd never be able to hide it and besides it just wasn't in his nature and she decided to go with her instincts once again.

This was definitely a case of Lana still loving Clark, keeping his shirt after they broke up and using the same aftershave for scent was a dead giveaway. It was actually kind of sad and pathetic and she felt sorry for her.

Chloe and Martha returned full of praise for the bedroom, they re-took their seats and once the dishes were washed and dried Clark and Lana sat at the table once again. The conversation was mostly about the furnishings and Lana now had three women all in love with her bedroom and wanting tips on how they could do their own in a similar fashion without copying her style completely.

Once the cobbler was warm it was duly served and eaten with relish.

"Lana this is great, how do you make it. Maybe I can give it a go tomorrow, what'd you think guys?" Lois looked around the table to find three people all avoiding eye contact. "Mrs Kent, what'd you think?"

"Well yes you could make it, but after having it today, would you really want to have it again tomorrow?"

"Hmm, maybe you're right." Lois pondered that, causing three people to breathe out in relief that they weren't going to have to eat her cooking but they soon realised their relief was short lived and a tad too early "Well maybe I can make something else. Ollie loved the apple pie I made for Thanksgiving, he had two helpings. I pointed out that it was a little crisp on the outside but he said that just made it taste even better. I'll make an apple pie." Nodding decisively she began to dig into her cobbler once again.

Clark, Chloe and Martha shared panicked looks and started nodding to each other to think up something to say to get Lois to change her mind.

"Um Lo, you don't have to cook, don't forget Martha loves to cook and I'm sure if you want homemade apple pie, she'd love to make it for you, right Martha?" Chloe raised her brows and nodded encouragingly hoping that would be enough, obviously she was wrong.

"Yeah, but Mrs Kent's got all that cooking for the party next Saturday, so I'll just help out by making desert tomorrow night. Actually I can make it for tonight, Lana why don't you make something too, if this cobbler is any indication, anything you make will be nice." Lois smiled and spooned in another mouthful.

"Oh well, I could make umm… meatloaf or chilli, or anything, whatever anyone feels like."

"Lo neither of you have to cook; I'm sure mom's got some stuff ready in the freezer that just needs to be heated, right mom?" Clark's eyes silently pleaded with his mom. Lana's cooking would be nice, the cobbler was delicious but the thought of eating Lois' apple pie scared him. Not having to eat her 'treats' for a few days was the _**only**_ good thing about Joanne not being here.

"Clark making an apple pie is not a difficult task, any idiot can do it and I'm sure Lana wouldn't mind cooking, right Lana?" Lois said patiently.

"Well I do enjoy cooking."

"See, now let's think about what Lana's going to make for dinner." Lois got up, helped herself to more cobbler, retook her seat, spooned in a mouthful and closed her eyes to better appreciate the taste and to consider what yummy things that Lana could make, once again missing the looks flying around the table.

Chloe was quietly mouthing and nodding her head at Martha, Clark had his hands almost pressed together begging his mom to say something, Martha was shaking her head back and forth between the two and Lana was enjoying the comical display in front of her, thinking that at least her cooking wasn't sending anyone into fits of panic. In the end Chloe almost had to elbow Martha before she threw up her hands in defeat to give it a try.

"Lois, I really do enjoy cooking and if you and Lana do it all, then there won't be anything for me to do. I'm not used to being a lady of leisure, at least let me make the desert sweetie."

"But don't you wanna take a break; you've been cooking all day, it seems unfair to make you cook for the party and for dinner."

"No I enjoy it and…"

"Clark you can cook right?" At his nod Lois smiled "Ok, so you can make desert, what are you going to make?"

"Well I could make apple or cherry pie, something like that."

Lois smiled complacently "Great so Clark will make the desert and Lana to save you having to lug hot dishes around and stuff, why don't you bring the ingredients with you or better yet, we'll buy them while we're shopping and while you're making the dinner, Clark can make the desert and I'm sure he'll help you when he's done, he is a boy scout after all." By the time she'd finished, everyone at the table realised they'd been had.

Chloe coughed and smiled into her napkin, Martha bent her head and tried not to laugh, Clark nodded his head slowly with a crooked half smile on his face and Lois just spooned in another mouthful of desert with a contented expression on her face.

Martha wanted to laugh out loud, Chloe had told her about Lois' antics earlier but seeing it in action was more entertaining than the recounting of it and this time Lois had very nicely caught them all out.

***

Once everyone finished eating they sat in the lounge replete. "Oh, Mrs…sorry Martha, Clark and I are going to check out Metropolis for decorations, they don't have anything I like in the stores here."

"That's fine dear; you and Clark will know what you want when you see it."

"Ok so we need to go shopping, have you decided what to make for dinner tonight Lana, because we need to make a list so we don't forget anything while we're shopping."

"Is there anything in particular anyone feels like?" At the headshakes around the room Lana thought for a minute "Well how about Beef Taco Bake with either scalloped potatoes or cheese fries and bread."

"You're going to make fresh bread?" Lois asked in surprise.

"I can if you want, but I thought we could just buy those packets you get from the supermarket, the ones where you put the bread rolls in the oven for a few minutes and you have hot fresh bread."

"That sounds great." And it makes me feel a little less inadequate Lois thought silently, although fresh bread did smell yummy and tasted great and if she could somehow get Clark to say he wanted fresh homemade bread then Lana would definitely make it. No better no push it, she'd caught them off guard before and had to be satisfied with her one victory for the day.

***

The women and Clark parted ways, he drove back to the farm in one car and they went shopping in the other.

Several hours later they came in loaded down with bags and by the look of it they weren't all groceries. He raced over and quickly grabbed a couple of bags, one from his mom and one from Lana and had just turned to offer assistance to Lois and Chloe but found that Chloe had managed on her own and Lois hadn't trailed inside with everyone else.

When he glanced outside it was to find her by the far side of the car fussing over Shelby who was whining at being overlooked by his favourite person. Lois was kneeling down and rubbing Shelby's tummy and he appeared to be in a state of bliss if his expression was any indication, Clark understood how he felt and heartily agreed with his sentiments. He could see that she was talking to Shelby and couldn't help switching in to listen.

"You old faker, don't think I don't know what you're up to. You just like to have your tummy rubbed and if you ever tell anyone that I do this, you know that cute little girl dog down the road that you fancy, yeah that's right, her, well I guarantee the next time we go running together, we'll go in a different direction." Shelby barked and Lois nodded her head as if an agreement had been reached.

She patted him on the side, stood up and began walking towards the house then turned back around "Coming" and Shelby stood up, shook himself off and followed. Clark couldn't help but smile, Shelby was a dog, he was a man and they both responded to Lois in the same way. She had them both well trained.

***

While Chloe and Martha used the kitchen table to prepare the ingredients for a few dishes in preparation for cooking the next day, Clark and Lana used the kitchen Island for making dinner and Lois helped the women by stirring whatever was placed in front of her and getting anything they needed. She was trying to be helpful but thought she might have been more of a hindrance. After she cut her fingers for the third time Martha had gently but firmly taken the knife out of her hand, told her they were running out of band-aids and gave her a wooden spoon and bowl. She felt like a six year old but was determined not to intrude on Clark and Lana, admittedly the atmosphere didn't lend itself to romance, what with three other people only a few feet away but still.

Lois was disappointed, she thought that just being around each other would be enough to get them going, it usually was and it normally got on her nerves but now, when she wanted them to 'get it on' so to speak, they didn't.

She did notice that a few times Lana flirted very subtly, it wasn't obvious and she could never be pulled up on it but Clark seemed totally unaware of it and she wondered why the damn girl didn't just act helpless or something. The Lana she knew did that all the time and the Clark she knew lapped it up, _be helpless_, Lois silently urged, but either she was sending out the wrong signal or Lana just wasn't taking any calls.

She was totally unaware that her face had taken on a somewhat sulky expression but the people watching her couldn't help but note it, and smile inwardly.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Dinner was lovely; the atmosphere in the house was light and fun, everyone just enjoying themselves and each other's company.

"Do you mind if I put the kettle on Martha, I'd love some coffee?" Lana asked smiling.

"Of course but I'll do it, you sit down and talk." Martha replied promptly.

"No that's ok, it'll only take me a minute to switch the kettle on and I'll just bring the sugar and cream out here, then everyone can help themselves. So who wants coffee?"

All hands shot up and Lana nodded before walking into the kitchen.

While waiting for the water to boil everyone pitched in to help clear the table, carrying plates and serving dishes back and forth to the sink; and once the table was clear, Lois decided she could squeeze in another piece of cherry pie after all.

While Lois was busy relishing her second helping of pie, everyone chatted about inconsequential things and when the kettle finally screamed it was ready; Lana duly pulled it off the stove and while carrying the tray she had prepared back to the table, looked at Lois from under her lashes.

In the confusion of conversation, passing out coffee mugs and reaching for cream and sugar, no one noticed that Lois had grown quiet. Clark was the first to realise that something was wrong. Lois' eyes had become fixed, staring blankly into space and her face had become pale. Suddenly the hand holding the fork started to shake and he quickly grabbed her arm.

"Lo, Lois!" Clark jiggled her arm trying to capture her attention. He didn't know what was wrong. Everything had been fine, he'd been talking to his mom and Chloe, had turned to make a laughing observation to Lana about something, when he noticed that Lois' face had drained of colour and her eyes had lost all expression. It was as if she wasn't even in the room.

"Lo." Chloe grabbed her free hand and tried to get her attention without success.

"Lois." Martha called, getting up and taking the fork out of her hand, it wasn't easy Lois' grip was tight but once it was free she patted the back of her hand and felt her forehead "She feels alright, Lois honey."

"LOIS!!" Clark called her name loudly and began to gently shake her, hoping that would snap her out of the daze she'd fallen into. He was frightened, this wasn't natural, one minute Lois was alright and the next she wasn't.

Lana ran to the sink, filled a glass with water and with a shaking hand placed it on the table "Lois." she called softly but no response was forthcoming.

Clark shook her harder "Lois please baby, answer me. Lois _**please**_!!"

She blinked a few times before snapping back into focus "I...I'm sorry what were we talking about?"

"Forget about that, what just happened?" Chloe demanded before anyone else could speak.

Lois shrugged and tucked her hair behind her ear. How the hell did she explain what she just felt "It was weird, it was nothing I guess. It was just eerie."

"What was?" Clark asked. His arm was around her shoulders but she seemed to be unaware of it.

"I just had the strangest feeling like I didn't belong here."

"Lois, you don't remember, you belong in the past." Chloe gently reminded her.

"No, I mean…. don't worry, it was nothing, really." She said trying to laugh it off, but when Martha passed her the glass of water, her hand couldn't grip it for trembling.

"Here Lo, take a sip." Clark replied holding the glass to her lips

"Please tell us what you mean Lois, you really scared us." Chloe asked softly.

Her eyes passed over the faces around her "You'll think I'm crazy."

"We won't honey, I promise, just tell us what happened." Martha urged.

"I just felt like …well like I don't belong _**here**__!_ I felt like…like I shouldn't be alive and I know how that sounds so please don't tease." Lois said rushing the last few words together.

"WHAT!!" No way, there was no way that was true. Clark utterly refused to accept that.

"It was really weird."

"How do you feel now?"

"I feel fine. It only lasted for about a minute or two, maybe less but…"

"But what?"

"But it felt so real, and ….promise you won't think I'm crazy."

"We promise Lo, and what?" Chloe pressed.

"I can't normally sense Joanne's thoughts or feelings, not at all but it felt like…like she was leaving, like she was being torn out of me."

"Lois you're really scaring me" Clark cut in and looking at the faces around him, saw fear on their faces as well.

"It scared me too but it's gone and I'm fine now really." She said scratching her forehead absently but all too soon her eyes took on the fixed expression that she had worn only moments ago and once again, everyone started calling out to her.

"Lo." Clark grabbed her up and rushed her over to the couch to lay her down. He dropped to his knees beside her and with one hand smoothed her hair back from her forehead and pleaded with her to come back.

"Lois." Chloe called out, sitting on the couch by Lois' legs and grabbing her hand again.

Martha knelt down beside Clark, put her hand on Lois' leg and shook it lightly "Lois honey, Lois."

"Lois, please wake up." Lana called looking down at Lois over the back of the couch.

"Chloe."

"God Lo, you have to stop scaring us." Chloe chided, she tried to keep her voice easy and smooth but it wasn't easy and when she next spoke, the words shook "You're going to be ok, we don't know what's going on but we'll find out and you're going to be just fine, ok?"

"I don't think I'm going to make it this time Chlo, maybe I shouldn't have the last time and someone's just trying to set things right."

"That's crap! Lois you weren't meant to die 8 years ago and you're not meant to die now. You still have a long life ahead of you." Chloe cut in tearfully.

"I think…I don't think I'm supposed to be here Chlo, I don't think I ever was." Lois' eyes went blank, then suddenly seemed to snap into focus "Clark."

"I'm here Lo."

"Clark, what's going on, I'm scared... I feel like I'm being pulled away from you, I don't want to leave you Clark, I don't want to leave you; please help me."

"Oh god Lo, it's you! It's Lois! Hang on to me! Can you do that? Just focus on my face ok!"

"I love you Clark, I'm sorry I wasted so much time, I'm sorry it took me so long to realise it."

"Baby I don't care. I love you, I'm just grateful that you love me." Clark choked out, smoothing her hair back "Can you hang on, just stay with me, please Lo, just hang on to me!"

"Thank you for loving me, for making me happy."

"No, Lo you made me happy, you gave me ….you…please don't let go." Clark cried and pressed her hand against his mouth.

"I love you Chlo." Lois said squeezing Chloe's hand.

"God, I love you too Lois, please don't.…."

"Tell daddy and Lucy that I love them, I love them very much."

"Lois just hang on sweetie, please."

"Thank you Martha, for everything, you're the best and I love you."

"I love you too but I want you to hang on, please sweetie, it's not your time, please just hang on." Martha turned her face into Clark's shoulder and began to weep quietly.

"Lois you promised, you promised you'd stay with me, you said we'd be always be together, you promised." Tears streaming down his face, Clark leant over so his face was right next to hers. He kissed her and whispered against her lips, "You promised."

She tugged her hand free and placed it against his cheek "Don't be sad, I'll be with mom again, and your dad. I'll wait for you Clark, we'll be together again, all of us. I promise, all of us. I love you Mickey." She whispered quietly before her eyes closed.

"**NO**! Lois..., Lois!!! Please don't leave me, please. God Lois, I love you, please just hang on baby, please just hang on."

But Lois was no longer listening. His mom and Chloe were crying but Clark just felt dead inside. Lois was gone.

***

Lana watched the proceedings with an air of detachment.

She wanted things to stay the way they were, with Lois out of the picture Clark would eventually become tired of being alone, everyone had the built in need for human contact, for love, it was what drove the human race but right now he'd just lost his fiancé and wouldn't be inclined to turn to anyone else.

She looked at Clark and her eyes filled with pain, tears began to streak down her face when she realised that she was considering giving up an opportunity that she'd already created; she quietly turned on her heel and walked into the kitchen. She kept her eyes on the clock trying to decide what to do.

Lois was dead but this was only supposed to be an experiment, just to see if she could do it, it wasn't supposed to be permanent, it was Lois in the past she needed to get at, not this one.

Her eyes turned back to the living room, Martha and Chloe were crying in each other's arms, and she couldn't fool herself, Clark was heartbroken, he was sitting on the floor sobbing, his face buried in Lois' neck while she lay cradled in his arms.

If she left things as they were she'd eventually get Clark on the rebound, but he'd never admit to loving her totally and that was what she wanted, if she left things as they were Lois' ghost would always be between them, Lois would forever be remembered as the beautiful fiancé that had died too young and no one could live up to that. She didn't want to live in Lois' shadow, she wanted Clark to realise that he couldn't live without her, that he loved her and only her.

Take the chance or let it go. A lot of happy marriages started out with less but she wanted her marriage with Clark to start out with love. She already had one failed marriage, one union that was made in hell under her belt. And now, after years of loneliness and unhappiness she wanted it all.

Take the chance or let it go. They both deserved it all. They both deserved something for all the years they'd lost, for all years they'd been apart, for losing each other, for allowing other people to keep them apart. Dare she take the chance; grab Clark while he was desolate and vulnerable, it wouldn't be today, it wouldn't be tomorrow but it would be soon. Her eyes flicked to the clock, then back to Clark. Lois had been dead for about four minutes; if she didn't do something soon it would be too late.

Take the chance or let it go. She wanted her marriage to Clark to have love as their foundation, she didn't want him to turn to her out of loneliness, or because he needed comfort or simply because he missed sex, she didn't want to be his consolation prize, she wanted to be the brass ring, the ultimate prize.

It was almost five minutes now, she had to decide, take Clark on the rebound or try to fix the past and get everything. Her eyes flicked back to the clock, take the chance or let it go, take the chance or let it go and once decided she closed her eyes and murmured under her breath. She heard the choking gasp that Lois gave and rushed out of the kitchen to join the others in the living room.

Martha and Chloe almost jumped out of each other's arms and turned as one to Clark and Lois.

"Lo, are you…are you ok?" Clark asked, his mind had whipped from despair to joy in a matter of seconds and although Lois was back with them he couldn't stop the tears from continuing to fall.

"C..C…Clark." Lois gasped.

"Yes it's me, are you alright baby?"

"W...Why are you c…..calling me…. baby, what happened?"

"We don't know what happened but you're back, god Lo, your back!" Clark pressed a kiss to her forehead and smiled shakily through his tears.

"Lie her down on the couch again sweetie." and once he did everyone moved forward "Lois honey, how do you feel?" Martha asked.

"I….I don't know."

"Hey." Chloe smiled, swiping her hand across her eyes and cheeks, her smile was forced but it was the best she could do under the circumstances. She had experienced fear, devastation and euphoria in rapid succession and one emotion coming on top of the other was just too much.

"Chlo, I'm sorry…but I feel really tired."

"Please don't go to sleep, not just yet, can you stay awake for a little longer?"

"K." Lois replied faintly but it was obvious she was fading fast. Chloe didn't want Lois to go to sleep, it was too frightening after what just happened and when she saw Lois' eyes begin to close had to clench her fist tight not to pinch her awake.

When her eyes closed fully, the women turned as one to Clark, panic in both their eyes but he shook his head "She's ok, her hearts beatings strong, she's ok." he said in relief.

***

The atmosphere in the house was subdued; Chloe sat on the coffee table facing the couch, her eyes flicking between Clark and Lois.

Clark was sitting on the edge of the couch holding Lois' hand, smoothing her hair, touching her cheek, just keeping contact with her, but his eyes never left her face and Chloe was certain that his ear was on her heartbeat.

Martha and Lana were cleaning up in the kitchen, but constantly turning around to check that everything was ok, and finally Martha just stopped and kept her eyes locked on her son and daughter in law. It may not be official yet, but Lois was her son's wife in everything but deed and it scared Martha how close they had all come to losing her.

Chloe's hands began to shake and she tucked them between her knees hoping to bring some warmth back into them. She just wanted to break down and cry, god she'd been so scared, Lois had died, she hadn't almost or nearly or slightly died. LOIS HAD DIED. That thought kept circling her mind like and mantra. All the joy of the day, which had started out as so much fun with Lois' scheming and which she had enjoyed, was now gone.

Lana stepped up and touched Martha lightly on the arm "Martha, I should go, I'll just say a quick goodbye to Chloe and Clark."

"You don't have to leave."

"I know, but I feel so helpless and it just breaks my heart. This is a time for family and I think Clark needs his mom right now, not his friend."

Martha and Lana hugged "Ok, thank you for your help today, I'll see you tomorrow."

Lana walked over and rubbed Chloe's shoulder "I'm going to go Chloe, do you need anything before I leave?"

"No, thanks for being here."

She leant down and gave Chloe a quick hug "See you tomorrow."

She knelt down and put her hand over Clark's, when his eyes locked onto hers the expression on his face made her want to gather him close and never let go "Clark if you need me for anything please call me ok?" He nodded and she reached up to hug him, squeezing him tight before pulling back and kissing him on the cheek "Call me, I mean it, alright." He nodded again but his eyes had already turned back to Lois.

***

Clark's voice when it came was husky and quiet "I knew it was my Lois, I knew it was but if there was any doubt what she said at the very end would have told me." he said then looked up and the tears began to trickle down the side of his face. He lifted his hand to wipe them away and bent down to press a kiss to the side of Lois' head.

"What'd you mean honey?"

"At the very end, just before she…before she…the last thing she said before she, you know, she said 'I love you Mickey' that was my Lois."

"Mickey?"

"It's kind of a nickname that Lo gave me."

"She calls you Mickey."

"I called her Minnie first."

"Oh god, Mickey and Minnie Mouse, you're getting as bad as Lois." And the absurdity of it, the sheer joy of knowing that Lois, neither Lois was gone caused all the occupants to laugh in relief. Chloe couldn't stop laughing and didn't realise that her laughter had turned to tears until she found herself being held in Martha's arms and rocked like a child while she cried.

It took a few good minutes for the harsh sobs that had been building up inside her, since Lois came back to quieten but once they did she felt calmer. She quickly scrounged around for tissues and passed them to Martha and Clark when she noticed they needed them also. The one person they had all been crying over stayed blissfully asleep.

After the rain storm of tears had passed the atmosphere in the house was lighter, it no longer had the feeling of a funeral home, it now felt filled with life.

"Are you going to take her upstairs?"

"Not just yet, I thought I'd just leave her on the couch for now. I know she's only asleep but I want to keep an eye on her."

"I'll get a blanket."

"I'll get it Martha, but could you do me a favour, I really need a drink, I don't care what it is but I could really do with one right about now."

"Of course and I'll join you; this has certainly been a day for it."

"I've never been so scared mom." Clark said tucking a blanket around Lois before pressing a kiss to her forehead and joining the ladies at the kitchen table. He picked up the drink that was poured for him and took a sip.

"I know sweetie me too. With your dad we didn't have time to be scared, it was all over so fast but this was different."

"I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost Lois." Clark paused before asking the next question but he had to know "Mom, I've never asked you this, but when dad died, how did you cope? I realise now that the love Lo and I have, is the same as the love you shared with dad, how did you get through it?"

"I had to sweetie, I just had to. It was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face, but I didn't have a choice. It scared me to know that my husband was gone and that I had a teenage son to raise, a farm to keep running and not long after a senate seat to take over, but it didn't leave me a lot of time to think which was the best thing really because if I had, I probably wouldn't have been able to pull myself out of the abyss I wanted to sink into."

"God mom, how did you ever forgive me? I took dad's life; I took it from him as surely as if I held a gun to his head. How could you even stand to look at me? I know that if anyone ever took Lois from me, I could never forgive them, _**never**_." Clark said putting his arms around Martha and crying into her shoulder.

"Shh honey, it's over, it's done." Martha held Clark and ran her hand over his hair letting him cry his fear out.

"I'm sorry mom, I'm so goddamn sorry."

"I know Clark, I know that you are. I didn't blame you then and I don't blame you now."

"I was to blame!"

"Shh it's over Clark, you have to let it go, I'm sorry honey, I thought you had let it go but you haven't, have you?"

"I've tried, mostly I have but seeing Lois today, knowing that I could have lost her, it just… it made me think of dad. If I lost Lois…if I ever lost her and the promise of the life we were going to build together just because some _**kid**_ couldn't give up his girlfriend, I couldn't mom; I just couldn't be as forgiving as you were."

"Honey when you love someone, forgiving comes with the territory. I forgave you a long time ago Clark and I want you to forgive yourself. Forgiving comes first from within, and until you do that you'll never find total peace, and neither your father nor I would ever want that. So please honey, let it go and forgive yourself."

Clark nodded his head and laid his cheek on his mom's shoulder "I love you mom, I couldn't have asked for better parents and I'm sorry that when I was a teenager and crushing on Lana, instead of seeing what I did have, I only saw what I didn't."

"Oh Clark, most teenagers are like that. When you and Lois have your own kids you'll find that out soon enough" Martha smiled then started to grin "But you know the best thing about being a grandparent?" At Clark's head shake "It's watching your kids bringing up their own little darlings and the fact that you get to spoil them before handing them back. And honey with Lois as their mom, I have a feeling not all your kids are going to be darlings, so I have to admit to a certain relish at watching the two of you do battle with your own little Lo."

Chloe who had been quietly sipping her drink and pretending to look at everything but mother and son snorted. When both Kent's looked at her, she started to giggle "Sorry Clark but with both the Lane and Kent genes, your kids are bound to be interesting."

Clark grabbed a napkin and wiped his eyes "Lois and I don't know if we can have kids. When I told her that there was no guarantee because of our different physiology, she said that in any marriage there was no guarantee that the couple could have kids. When I pointed out that she would have more luck with a human male, she just said if she was the problem, if we _knew_ that she couldn't have kids, would I walk away from her to find myself a woman to be a brood mare, or would I still take the chance with her. She really cuts through the bull, she didn't try to reassure me that we _**might**_ be able to have kids; she didn't try to say that she wouldn't have better luck with someone else, she just said that she'd rather have a lifetime with me, without ever having children, then to marry someone else."

"Lois is a smart woman; she knows a good thing when she has it."

"I agree I have two very smart children. A son who found the perfect woman for him, and the right woman who loves everything about my son; including his alien genes." Martha said holding up her glass and all three clinked glasses before taking another sip from their drinks.

***

Lana lay in bed and didn't know whether to feel happy or sad. As much as she wanted Lois gone, she hadn't enjoyed doing that but she couldn't lie to herself, to know that she had the power to take or give Lois her life was both humbling and exhilarating.

It was her decision, it wasn't some higher power, it wasn't a twist of fate, it was by design, her design and that's what scared her. The whole time everyone else was begging and pleading with Lois, she had played her part of the caring friend but she had felt like a mere observer. It was for the best really because if she had let herself be in the moment, take stock of what she was doing, she couldn't have done it.

Grief both had and hadn't touched her at Lois' passing. At one time she never, ever would have believed that she could hurt Lois, at one time she couldn't have, but what it came down to was simple, Clark was everything to her, EVERYTHING and there was nothing she wouldn't do for them to be together. When she was younger she couldn't understand people who said they killed for love, she thought they had to be twisted or evil but now she understood, love made you feel invincible, anything was possible and no price was too high to pay.

She'd been so tempted to not bring Lois back, even getting Clark on the rebound was better than nothing, better than what she had now. There was no guarantee she could change their past but this had already been done, Lois had been dead and the opportunity was there if she'd only taken it.

Watching Clark fall apart tonight had been hard, seeing him so grief stricken at Lois' passing had been heartbreaking. At one time, he would only have felt that way about her and she hated to see him behave that way over Lois, over the woman who had stolen him and was keeping them apart.

If he could just look deep inside himself, if he could just unlock the door that he'd slammed shut on them when she made the colossal mistake of marrying Lex, he'd see the truth; that Lois was the rebound girlfriend.

He only had to give her one sign, just _one_ to show her that he was having doubts or reservations and she'd take it, she'd meet him half way and wouldn't care what anyone thought, but he didn't.

When no one was looking she'd tried flirting with him while they were cooking, she'd let her eyes sparkle a little more, smiled at him from under her lashes and touched his hand, accidentally bumped into him a couple of times but he hadn't noticed. His attention was usually on Lois, laughing quietly as she tried to be helpful but made a nuisance of herself instead, winced in sympathy when she kept cutting her finger and smiled when handed a mixing bowl and spoon like a child given a treat.

What the hell was so enthralling about Lois that he couldn't see past it, she just didn't understand. Why was he so infatuated, couldn't he see the way Lois had tried to throw them together, couldn't he see that she didn't want him, it might have been the younger Lois that was doing it, but her older counterpart wasn't much better. Why couldn't he see what was right in front of him, that the girl he wanted so badly when he was younger, was now a woman, a woman that knew her mind, knew what she wanted and loved him.

Tears trickled down her cheeks, she _**should**_ have taken the opportunity, it would have been something and it was better than the nothing she had now but the opportunity was gone, the time had been right and she'd let it go, she had made her second mistake but no more.

***

Clark sat at Lois' bedside watching her sleep, he wanted to hold her, he wanted to join her on the bed and just hold her, know that she was alive. Looking into his fiancés face and hearing her say that she didn't love him and never would, then having to listen to her remind him of his teenage infatuation and calling it 'love' and watching as she tried to get him back with Lana all in the span of a little less than 48 hours hadn't been easy.

All he'd wanted was for Lois, his Lois to come back, to talk to her, to hold her and kiss her and to hear her say that she loved him. But he never expected her to come back, only to say goodbye.

He thought that he'd been helpless yesterday when Lois had woken up and he was left with a younger Lois; one that didn't love him but he'd never felt more helpless than when HIS Lois was slipping away from him, and he could only sit by and beg her to stay.

When he heard the rain start to fall, it brought back the memory of when she promised never to leave him and he smiled remembering how beautiful the moment was.

They had intended to go out and enjoy the last of the summer but had woken up to a dreary, grey dismal day so Lois decided to 'spring clean' the apartment instead, which really meant that whatever he didn't want thrown out had to be hidden. While she was washing the lunch dishes, he'd sped around the bedroom and lounge, quickly gathering all his treasures and tucked them away at the very back of his closet.

She had come into the bedroom, seen him on his hands and knees with his head almost buried in the closet and started to laugh "Trying to hide your stuff so I won't accidentally throw it out huh?"

"Of course not."

"Uh huh, well I _was_ going to go through your closet and throw out your junk but I'll leave it to you, how's that?"

"Thank you, much appreciated."

"Right let's get started."

They had just finished cleaning the living room when he'd gotten a Superman call and had to leave her to it. He had come back hours later, the rain had turned fierce and as result he had been longer than intended due to a number of car accidents that he had to help with.

He had come into the apartment expecting to find Lois cleaning, working or just relaxing watching TV. What he found instead was a plate of her homemade cookies on the kitchen table but Lois nowhere in sight.

He'd followed the sound of music and found her in a tank top and panties fast asleep on the bed, the radio was tuned to an easy listening station, the rain was lashing the window and he thought catching a nap sounded pretty good.

He had quickly undressed, joined her on the bed, wrapped one arm around her waist, pulled her to him and fell asleep to the sound of rain beating down and Billie Holiday playing on the radio.

He had woken up an hour later to find Lois had turned around in her sleep and was huddled into him looking for warmth. Her face was buried in the side of his neck, she had one arm wrapped around him, one leg in between his and he wanted to wake her up.

He bent down and kissed her, she murmured and snuggled in more, so he kissed her again and she stretched lazy as a cat then kissed him back. The rain had mellowed to a soothing drizzle, the sun was valiantly trying to shine from behind the clouds casting the bedroom in a romantic glow and the song playing on the radio was 'Only You'. The combination of Lois in his arms, the song and the dismal day put him in an unhurried, comfortable mood. He wanted to take his time and going by her response she was more than receptive.

They exchanged slow, lazy kisses but soon that wasn't enough. He removed her tank top, cupped one breast and squeezed it gently before running his palm over and around, back and forth then bent down, caught the tip gently in his teeth and batted it lightly with his tongue, when he heard her moan, her took her breast into his mouth and suckled strongly. His hand surrounded her other breast, massaging it, stroking his thumb over and around her nipple, and he turned and gave it the same attention before rubbing his chest slowly and deliberately against hers "God you feel delicious."

"So do you." She said in low tones before kissing him.

"Lift your hips babe." he removed her panties, tugged his briefs off impatiently and rolled her under him. Their tongues duelled lazily, their hands roamed over each other and the feel of her breasts against his chest and her legs either side of his was a temptation he could no longer resist.

He ran his hands up her arms, pulled them down to lie alongside the pillow next to her head and threaded their fingers together "Open your eyes Lo." When her eyes fluttered open, he entered her in one smooth thrust "Keep your eyes open baby, I want you to keep your eyes open." He withdrew almost fully before sliding inside again.

"Tell me you love me." He whispered.

"I love you." She said quietly.

"Tell me again."

"I love you."

They watched each other as he moved in and out, trying to make it last for as long as possible. He lifted up, let go of one hand and smoothed it lightly over her breasts, along her torso and down her stomach before hooking one of her legs higher over his "I love to feel you around me, to feel your muscles clenching and clutching me." He said softly.

Their loving was slow, unhurried and beautiful and afterwards he'd stayed inside her, and with his hands on her back, pulled both of them up to a sitting position "You're my life Lo, I love you, I always will." He said quietly before kissing her. They stayed like that with their arms around each other, her head on his shoulder and his on hers for a few minutes before lying back down.

He kept his weight on his elbows so not to crush her then leant down and kissed her deeply before sitting back up. He swirled his hand low on her stomach and his fingers idly sifted through the hair at the juncture of her thighs, where they were joined and he was still semi hard inside her, before he stroked his hand up and down her thigh, his other hand ran up her side, feeling smooth skin and sleek muscle. He lay back down and rolled them over so they were lying face to face, pulled her leg up high on his waist and brought her close enough to feel the cushion of her breasts against his chest. "When I'm inside you, when we make love, do you know how I feel?" he asked quietly.

She shook her head.

"I feel like I've found the missing piece of myself that I never even knew was lost, like I'm exactly where I was always supposed to be." He paused for a moment, just enjoying the sensation of being inside her. Even when they weren't making love, having her wrapped around him was the best feeling in the world "Lo."

"Hmm." Her hand was on his face gently rubbing his lip.

"Promise you won't ever leave me."

"You know I won't." She said leaning forward to kiss him.

"Sometimes it overwhelms me how much I love you and I get scared that you'll think you've made a mistake and walk away."

"You don't ever have to be scared of that. It took me a long time to realise that I loved you, but I know it now and I'm not ever going to leave."

"Promise?"

"Promise." She ran her hand over his bottom and gave it a light squeeze, before stroking up his back to run it over and over in ever widening circles. He loved to feel her hands on him, he loved knowing that she was his and he had the freedom to touch her, to have her touch him.

"I love you Clark Kent and I promise I'm not ever going to leave. You're stuck with me, bad moods, mean temper and all."

He leant forward and captured her lips to seal the bargain, then brought her hand up and kissed the palm "I'm holding you to that."

She smiled "You do that."

He hugged her to him "When you wouldn't go out with me, the only way I could stay sane was by dreaming. You have no idea of the kind of dreams I had about you, about us." He said into her hair.

"Are you going to share them?" She asked leaning back to smile.

"I have."

"I don't remember."

"Every time we make love Lo, every single time, it's a dream of mine that's come true."

They had stayed on the bed, wrapped in each other's arms until hunger forced them up, and when they went back to bed, he'd held her close and basked in the knowledge that she was his and always would be.

***

Chloe quietly walked into the bedroom and wasn't the least surprised to find Clark sitting by the bed, wide awake with his eyes on Lois' face.

"Clark you need to sleep." Chloe said taking a seat on the bed.

"I can't, I'm scared Chlo, we didn't know that anything was wrong, not at first, what if I go to sleep and it happens again and Lo slips away without anyone knowing, without anyone being with her."

"I know but …."

"I had the feeling I'd find the two of you in here." Martha smiled "Clark, Lois is ok, I bet you've kept your ear on her heart, am I right?" at his nod "Sweetie it's going to be alright." She said taking a seat beside Chloe.

"How do you know mom, I don't remember this happening before, I don't remember being at the Medical Centre and Lois being in distress or being told that Lois had di..had passed away, how do we know it's not going to happen again?"

"We don't Clark but Lois was fine the last time, maybe it did happen and the staff didn't tell us because she was alright, we could go and check it out, check her file." Chloe suggested quietly.

"Even if she pulled through, wouldn't they tell the next of kin, or wouldn't they have called us to say that she'd had an episode but come out of it?" He pressed.

"I don't know, but Honey you can't let fear rule your life, you can't sit beside Lois or watch Lois twenty four hours the day, that won't be healthy for either of you." Martha leant forward and turned his face toward hers.

"I know, I'm just…I'm scared."

"I was thinking, we know that whatever caused this happened here right?" At both their nods, Chloe continued "So maybe back there Lois wasn't affected at all, maybe it was only Joanne that was, and if that's the case, then nothing would have happened to Lois back there."

"But how Chloe, that doesn't make sense, if Lois didn't wake up last time, and if she didn't come back tonight, surely her younger self would have died back there too."

"Maybe, look at the moment we don't know where Joanne is, she could be suppressed in Lois' mind, which is what we've all just assumed because of what she said about waking up with two lots of memories, or for all we know, Joanne's mind could be asleep or trapped in Lois body back there, do you know what I mean?" Chloe paused and took a deep breath "God this is hard to explain, we know it was Joanne we were talking to before she ….and Lois said she felt like Joanne was being torn out of her, so maybe it was _**only**_ Joanne that was affected. If Joanne hadn't come back, Lois might have woken up back there."

"But there would still be some record of it, they would have told us."

"We don't know for sure, look let's get dressed, we can either demand to see her file or we can steal it. It will be in the medical archives here, so it's not like it's going to be missed and we can return it after we've checked it out thoroughly."

"Go honey, I'll make some coffee and when you come back, we can read through the file and see what is says."

"Alright and mom, I know that I can't be with Lois all the time but for now, can you just stay until I come back, please?"

"Of course."

"Chloe I'll go, I can be there and back in a couple of minutes, I don't want to drive or wait, I want to see the file."

"Ok, I'll put some coffee on."

They had kept their voices low through the whole conversation but Lois hadn't so much as twitched. Her body obviously needed time to recover from the trauma it had gone through and her deep sleep, although understandable, left everyone apprehensive.

Chloe went downstairs and had just filled the kettle when Clark was back with the file in hand and took a seat at the kitchen table. She ran upstairs called Martha and the three sat down to look over the file together.

At first glance there was nothing that they didn't already know, nothing to show that anything monumental had happened, so they went through it more slowly a second time and that's when Clark noticed that there were two small spikes, one longer than the other, both on Lois' chart for the second day but barely noticeable.

"There!"

"Where?"

"There." Clark pointed out, "it looks like two blips, one longer than the other, they probably weren't even noticed but they're there. I can see them but I have to use micro-vision to distinguish them from the normal pattern."

"Ok, so that's why no one ever knew, something happened but it barely even affected Lois and was missed, so if Joanne did pass away, Lois wouldn't have, she would have been alright." Chloe surmised.

"It doesn't make sense though, because Joanne **IS** the real Lois. We're in the right time and Lois is from the past, she's just visiting so to speak. Joanne is the first Lois, she's the _**real**_ Lois." Clark found trying to explain what he meant hard, and opened his mouth to start again but his mom and Chloe already understood what he was trying to verbalise.

"Yeah, I know and that's why I don't think it's something, I think it's _someone._" Chloe said finally.

"You mean someone wants Lois out of the way?" Martha asked.

"Exactly, someone's out to get her. The problem is that Lois has a lot of enemies. People she's gone after, people she's helped the police investigate, so where do we start looking. We can check her stories for the last month or two, but for all we know whoever's doing this could have been planning it for years. She's been an investigative reporter for 6 years and the two of you have uncovered a lot of dirty secrets since you've partnered up. Whoever's after her could have been trying to get at you too, but because you're Superman it hasn't worked."

"That makes sense." Martha was now doubly worried, she could lose both her son and Lois.

"Clark, go and check Lois out, check her out from head to toe, make sure that no one's managed to put something inside her without her knowing about it." He nodded and left the room.

"But wouldn't they have to get close to her to do that?" Martha asked frowning.

"Not necessarily, they could have put it in her food or drink, or for all we know they could have just passed her in the street, stuck her with a needle or something and she might have felt a pinch but nothing that she'd think about."

Clark came back down and shook his head "Nothing, I checked her over twice and there's nothing."

"Ok, but I still think I'm right." Chloe insisted.

"I do too, but if there's nothing inside her, then how?"

"Magic."

"Magic affects me Chlo; I'm as vulnerable to magic as anyone." Clark reminded her.

"Which means they're only after Lois." Martha put in.

"Yes."

"And tonight, what was that about then, a test, a game, let's take her life and give it back to show her what it's like to be powerless?" Clark demanded.

"If that's the case then they could be after Lois, you or Superman. It's common knowledge that Clark Kent is engaged to Lois Lane and Superman...well we all know the stories about Lois and Superman, she's been dubbed 'Superman's girlfriend' more than once in the media. We know they're true because we know you ARE Superman, but anyone else could just be trying to use Lois to get at Superman."

"But why did younger Lois get caught up in it?" Martha asked frowning.

"There could be two reasons, one it was an accident and whoever's doing it may not even be aware of what's happened, or two, it was deliberate and they're trying to get rid of Lois long before Clark or Superman were involved with her. That way they won't have either her fiancé or her 'super boyfriend' hunting them down."

"God the possibilities are endless. Lo and I both have enemies and Superman has more enemies than the two of us put together and you're right, it's common knowledge that Superman won't take kindly to anyone hurting Lois. So they're either after her personally or they're using her life as some kind of weapon to control Superman."

"And if that's it, then you're bound to find out soon, because they're going to want you to know that THEY ARE in control, not Superman."

"Do you think they'll do it again?"

"No, I think they'll consider the points been made. They'll know that Clark will tell Superman what happened to Lois, or they'll want to tell him themselves and when Superman checks with Clark, he'll find out they're telling the truth. They've made their point."

"Chloe's right, if that's what this is about, then Lois has already been used as a guinea pig and they won't do it again. They know that if they did, Superman won't stop until he catches them but even more, their bargaining chip will be gone."

"So for now, we can't do anything, the balls in their court so to speak."

"Yeah but you can speed read through all the articles you and Lois have written together and separately, especially the ones about Superman, see if any of them ring a bell or if anyone had a fondness for games."

"Ok, I'll go now and…."

"No, Clark you have to sleep, go tomorrow, it won't take you long but for now you have to sleep honey. I know you didn't sleep much last night but you can't go forever without rest. If anything happens or you're needed, you won't be any good to Lois or yourself if you've exhausted yourself beforehand."

"Mom, I'll be alright, I just…."

"No, Clark, go and sleep."

"But…"

"Clark Jerome Kent, go to bed!"

"Ok, goodnight mom." He turned and hugged Martha then smiled "Goodnight Chlo and thanks."

"See you in the morning." But as he turned towards the door Chloe called out "Hey, it's gonna be ok Clark, at least now we have a place to start."

"Yeah."

"Goodnight." He nodded and left the kitchen.

***

"Do you think he'll be alright?" Chloe asked Martha.

"Yes, now that he's got something to focus on. Before he was feeling helpless, scared that she'd slip away and he couldn't do anything to stop it. And it was worse because we never found out what caused it before. This might not be the answer but it's still something, an angle he can look into." Martha paused to run a hand through her hair "He's used to being able to solve most anything with his powers or intellect, but how can he fight something, if he doesn't know what it is. My only worry is what he's going to do if we're right."

"Clark's a good guy but if anyone's trying to use Lois as a pawn, I'd hate to be in their shoes when he catches them."

"That's what I'm worried about. There's nothing he wouldn't do to keep her safe and if he reacts in anger, he'll have to live with the consequences."

"Well then we'd better figure this out, because I have no intention of losing either my cousin or my best friend."

***

Clark lay in bed watching Lois sleep, watching her chest rise and fall and hearing her breathing, he thought it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen or heard. He would never get over the fear, the utter helplessness he felt knowing that Lois was dying and there was damn all he could do to stop it. He'd known fear and despair in his life, but nothing compared to what he experienced tonight.

He had strained his ears trying to find a pulse, a heartbeat, hear her blood flow anything and when there was nothing, he knew that he'd never survive, not without her.

Lois had only been gone for two days and he missed her, missed her presence, her laughter, her love. And when she had died and he knew that he would have to live the rest of his life without her…_the bleak loneliness of our separation is unbearable_, that was what kept running through his mind. When he'd heard that phrase years ago he thought it sounded hokey, contrived but now knew that it wasn't. She had only been gone a few minutes but those minutes HAD been unbearable.

When Lois died, all he could see were years of emptiness laid out before him, years and years of knowing he had to go on and she wouldn't be there, she would never be there again. Grief was supposed to get easier with time, but he didn't see how it was possible.

Before his training he sometimes used more force than was necessary when trying to stop or apprehend criminals, after his training, once he understood the extent of his powers, he'd promised himself to never use his strength to hurt another. Superman was known for his ethics, for his strong moral code. But if Chloe was right, if someone was doing this to get back at Lois or trying to use her as a pawn, he'd find them. And if they hurt Lois, if they took her from him… he'd break his promise and they would see Superman's ethics disappear.

Lois was vital to him, to his existence and he didn't care what he had to do to keep her safe, he'd do it and worry about the consequences later.

Both Lois and he believed that no one person had the right to be judge, jury and executioner, that was something that should be left to a higher power but he had to admit when it came to each other, sometimes the line they walked became a little thin and wasn't always black or white, but had shades of grey.

When she was kidnapped by Ronson Green, a petty criminal who was trying to break into the big leagues and thought to use 'Superman's girlfriend' as a way to show he wasn't scared of going up against the Man of Steel he'd been frantic.

Lois had been missing for two days, he had called in the JLA and because Lois refused to call out for Superman, the bastard had slapped her around. By the time he found her she had a black eye, a bruised cheek, a cut lip and various cuts and abrasions and he'd seen red, he really thought he could hear his blood boil and had run into the house without waiting for backup.

He hadn't been inside the room for two seconds before he realised his mistake and the next thing he knew he was lying on the floor in agony, wanting to help Lois but could only watch helpless as the bastard pulled her head back and put a knife to her throat. When Green drew the knife lightly enough for a thin line of blood to appear, he'd managed to get to his knees to launch an attack and that's when the bastard shot him with a Kryptonite bullet which turned out to be his big mistake.

Lois had turned into an avenging fury, she'd thrown herself at him and when the rest of the JLA burst through the door minutes later, they'd had the pleasure of seeing a woman who had taken a beating but wouldn't give up, or give in and could still take down the bastard who dared kidnap her and hurt her boyfriend. In the end it had taken two of the JLA members to drag her off the guy, who was cowering on the floor trying to cover his face, she'd still been trying to kick him when she was pulled away.

When he'd gotten her home and found that she had bruises on her abdomen and upper back, he wanted to go back and finish what she'd started. But she convinced him to let it go, and allowed him to pamper her instead, and pamper her he did.

She was his, he was hers and nothing and no one was going to come between them.

***

Chloe couldn't sleep, she was desperately tired but her mind wouldn't shut down, it kept circling over and over with the events of the day and the possibility that someone was trying to get at Clark through Lois or get back at Lois personally.

It was bizarre they way criminals were offended when they were caught; they acted as if they were the wronged party and in their twisted heads they had to get revenge on those who brought them to justice.

She refused to lose Lois to some crazy bastard who wanted revenge and she refused to lose Clark, who in an act of rage might kill. Afterwards he'd never forgive himself for it, he would never get over it and in the end it would kill him, if not literally, it would kill him inside, where his goodness lay.

She refused to lose either of them, and her heart certainly couldn't take another of today's episodes, so the only thing they could do was find out who was doing this and stop them before it was too late.

Getting up, she put on her warm dressing gown and walked outside, she needed fresh air. She walked to the fence and was leaning on it, looking up at the stars when she felt a light breeze.

"What are you doing up?"

She turned around and smiled and wasn't surprised to see Clark standing next to her "Couldn't sleep, what's your excuse?"

"Couldn't sleep," He smiled back ruefully.

"It's been a helluva day, huh?"

"Yeah, not one I'm likely to forget in a hurry."

"Me either but we came through it and that's what matters."

"I guess, but I don't ever again want to feel how I did when Lo was gone."

She put her arm around his waist and hugged him "I know, and that's why we're going to catch the bastard who's doing this because whether it's for revenge or another reason, we're going to stop them, I promise."

"Thanks." He hugged her back and the two of them stood there quietly, their arms leaning on the fence, looking at nothing in particular, just revelling in the knowledge that Lois was alright and alive.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

_Day Three: 2007_

Chloe woke up to the smell of breakfast cooking. When she looked over and saw Mrs Kent she smiled, stretched and got up "Good morning."

"Good morning Chloe, how did you sleep?"

"Pretty good, I actually slept through the night. Did the hospital call?"

"No, but I rang as soon as I got up. There's been no change."

"Oh; ok; thanks."

"I know that's not what you want to hear, but at least nothing's worse." Martha smiled encouragingly.

"Yeah, you're right. I just wish it was over, I wish we knew what was going on."

"You'll find out…we'll find out, I promise Chloe." Clark said from behind.

She swung around and found him walking in the kitchen door. "Thanks Clark. I'm just going to go home and have a shower; I'll meet up with you later ok?"

"Chlo you can have a shower here."

"I know but I don't have any clean clothes here."

"So, I'll run over to your apartment and get you some, then you can have a shower, we can all eat breakfast and talk about what we're going to do today, ok?"

"Ok, thanks again."

"What me to grab anything in particular?"

"No, I don't care as long as it's comfortable."

"Ok, back soon" He said before leaving in a gust of wind.

"Do you mind if I hop in the shower now Mrs Kent?"

"That's fine, I'll tell Clark to leave the clothes on his bed and you can change in his room."

"Thank you."

Chloe had no sooner stepped into the shower when Clark returned and as per his mom's instructions left the clothes on his bed, then went back outside to finish the rest of his chores.

He too wished Lois would wake up, they'd found nothing and the longer it went on the more concerned he grew. What was worse, this situation was now playing tricks on his mind and making him scared of losing Lana to the same horrible fate.

The previous night he'd been thinking about Lois, thinking about dancing with her at her wedding and eventually his mind had started to drift to images of Lana and him getting married. He was lost in dreams of exchanging vows, holding her in his arms and dancing with her as his wife, when suddenly he'd gotten the most terrifying feeling. He'd started to panic; so sure that something had happened to Lana; that she wasn't just lost to him but that she was gone completely. Gone, not just from his life but from this world and he'd run to the Luthor Mansion, hidden outside, well away from the gates and had started to use his x-ray vision to search the house when he saw her leaning on a balcony, looking up at the sky.

She was so beautiful, the moon was spilling over the balcony, making her look ethereal, he'd seen a tear slip down her cheek and wanted to go to her, wanted to hold her close and tell he loved her. He never wanted to see her sad or unhappy and had stayed watching her until she finally went back indoors.

He couldn't explain the feeling he'd experienced, but he was scared, Lana was already lost to him and he couldn't contemplate how he'd feel if she was gone for good. As awful as this situation was, it had opened his eyes and made him more determined than ever to try and get her back. He and Lana were meant to be together, they always were, he'd screwed up and now he had to fix it, he had to; she was the one good thing in his life.

If it was Lana lying in the Medical Centre, he didn't know what he would do; he just knew that if she was in there, he'd do whatever it took to get her back. He cared about Lois, and would do all he could to help her but although it secretly shamed him and he'd never admit it to anyone, he was thankful that it wasn't Lana.

He had to stop her marriage to Lex and get her back; that was all he knew for certain.

***

Lana drove to the Kent farm, she really didn't want to see Clark, she didn't want to see the look in his eyes but Lois was her friend, Chloe was her friend and when Chloe called and asked to her to meet them at the Kent house to discuss their plans for the day, she hadn't hesitated to say she was coming over.

She was going to help, she was determined to find out what was wrong and hoped to god, that Lois would be ok.

But seeing Clark again had been hard. They hadn't talked in months, she'd seen him, he'd seen her, but yesterday had been the first time in a long time they'd been able to be in each others company and behave with civility.

She really thought she was over him, she really thought she'd moved on, she knew there was still a part of her that loved him, but she thought that was all behind her, only to find herself thinking about him last night.

When Lex had taken a phone call, she'd stepped outside onto the balcony and it was Clark that she'd been thinking off. She should have been worried about Lois, she should have been concerned about Chloe, she should have had wedding details on her mind, but she didn't. Clark dominated her thoughts.

How did it go so wrong so fast, they'd been happy, they loved each other, he always seemed so happy to be with her, they had made love and although not earth shaking in itself, he had been her first and it had been special for that alone.

Every time she had sex with Lex it was Clark she thought about, every time Lex touched her or kissed her, she remembered how it felt with Clark and hated herself for that. Lex was such a wonderful person, he cared about her, he treated her like a queen he was a man who knew what he wanted, and yet here she was, still pining for the boy that had thrown her over.

Yesterday she thought she'd be gratified the day she married Lex and saw the look on Clark's face when he realised that she would never be his again, but after being so close to him yesterday she was afraid. She was afraid that he'd breach what few defences she had and if he tried to get her back again, would she be strong enough to resist. The answer scared her because right now, she couldn't say she would be.

***

Chloe dressed, called Jimmy to let him know what was happening and then called Lana.

All through her shower she'd tried to come up with other solutions, other options to what was wrong and had come up with nothing.

Jimmy was so sweet, he wanted to come and help, he'd offered countless times but she let him know that at the moment there was nothing he could do but would call him the moment she needed his help. She couldn't drag him into this, she knew that he'd risk his job and his career for her but she couldn't do that to him. She had leave from the Planet because Lois was her cousin, but he wouldn't have that excuse and management wouldn't take kindly to him wanting to hold his girlfriends hand when there wasn't anything actually wrong.

She was scared, Lois was strong, Lois never let up, never gave in but something had gotten to her, something had put her into the hospital and if they didn't find out what it was, Lois might not come out of it.

She'd tried calling her Uncle Sam but the army wasn't about to give out information on a General to just anyone, and eventually she'd had to leave a message telling them it was urgent and concerned his oldest daughter. When he called back and she told him what was going on, for the first time in a long time, she'd heard fear in his voice.

Uncle Sam was gruff and hard headed but had a soft spot for two people in his life. His daughters, she and her dad also came under his radar but not as much as Lois and Lucy. He'd wanted to come straight back but was out of the country on manoeuvres and when she promised to let him know about even the slightest change, he had calmed down some but the fear was still present in his voice.

She wished her dad could be here, Clark and Mrs Kent were great, but she wanted her dad. She wanted to have someone who was family around. God she missed her dad, she knew he'd come back to be with her, but it seemed unfair to drag him back just when he was making a good living at his job, but right now it seemed like she was losing everyone she loved, her mom, her dad and now Lois.

After a few minutes, she swiped her hand across her eyes, went into the bathroom, splashed water on her face and returned downstairs.

***

"You ok Chloe?"

"Yeah, this thing has just made me realise that everyone I love is going away. Mom's gone, dad's in another state and Lois…well, you know."

"You haven't lost everyone Chlo, we're here." Clark said grabbing her hand.

"I know and I appreciate it, thanks." She smiled slightly in return.

"Chloe would you like to stay here with Clark and me until this is over. I'd like you to, I don't want you staying in that apartment by yourself, and certainly not while we don't know if whatever's wrong with Lois didn't start there."

"I…are you sure Mrs Kent?"

"Of course, you're always welcome, and I'd just feel better having you here with us." Martha said matter of fact.

"Thank you." Chloe replied gratefully. In truth she didn't want to go back to the apartment, she didn't want to be alone with her thoughts.

"Good, then you and Clark can go and pick up some of your things today ok?"

"Ok, thanks again."

All three looked over at the knock on the screen door and saw Lana standing outside.

"Good morning, can I come in?" Lana asked smiling.

"Of course Lana, would you like some breakfast?"

"No, I'm fine thanks but I wouldn't mind some coffee, if that's ok?"

"I'll just get you a cup; you take a seat at the table."

"Thanks, hey Chloe, when you called, you didn't say if you've heard anything." Lana said taking a seat at the table.

"No, Mrs Kent rang the hospital but there's been no change." Chloe said while spreading butter on her toast.

"I'm sorry, well what do you have planned for us today?"

"I don't know if it's going to be any good, but I was thinking that with Lois' job at the Inquisitor, she's always looking into the paranormal, the bizarre or downright strange. Maybe this is connected to her job."

"Do you really think it's possible Chlo?" Clark asked sipping his coffee.

"No, but I'm willing to look into it and after living in Smallville and seeing the stuff that goes on here, I'm just not going to dismiss it out of hand?" Chloe replied.

"Good enough, so what'd you want us to do?"

"Well I hate to do it, but I'm going to check through Lois' lap top and personal diary, see if she has any notes in there, anything that she was looking into. If you two could read her articles, then I don't know…drive around Smallville, look in places where something bizarre's happened, or if I find something on her computer we can go check it out. Let's face it there's not exactly a lack of places to look for the strange here."

"I have all of Lois' articles in the loft, I'll bring them down and we can read them while Chloe goes through Lois's computer. That way if she finds something we can be on hand." Clark posed the idea to Lana and hoped it would meet with her approval.

"Ok, I'll read one, you read one and then we can switch, maybe one of us will pick up something that ties to this, that the other missed."

"Good enough." He was glad that Lana seemed willing to talk to him and be in his company. He didn't sense any anger or aggravation coming from her and hoped that the rest of the day would be as smooth.

Once breakfast was over, he went to his loft, grabbed all Lois' articles, a couple of pads and pens and went back to the kitchen.

"Honey, I'm going to drop in to see Lois and then go onto the office, please call me if anything happens or if you need me for anything ok."

"Ok, mom, bye."

"And don't forget to collect some of Chloe's things, bye sweetie. Bye girls." Martha gave a wave and walked out the door.

Clark placed the pads, pens and articles on the table, then took a seat beside Lana. Chloe sat on the opposite side of the table already engrossed in trying to break into Lois' computer.

There was silence as all three kept busy; the only sound the rustle of paper and scratching of pens.

"Well I'm done, how are you going Lana?" Clark asked.

"Not very good, you know I've read Lois' articles before and have to say although the content is kind of out there, she really pulls the reader in." Lana said with a smile before chuckling "Some of the stuff is really off the wall, but she's a hell of a story teller and almost makes you believe it."

"I know, like you I can't believe the stuff she writes about, but she has a way with words that sucks you in and makes you wonder." Clark snickered, "She actually makes you wonder if you're being closed minded for not believing."

"That's why she's so good." Chloe put in, the three looked at each other and burst out laughing. "I have a feeling my cousin could give Stephen King a run for his money."

"Totally, she's like the Fox Mulder of Smallville, all she needs is to find her Scully to keep her grounded." Lana said causing all of them to laugh again.

The release of laughter felt good, and it was a much more relaxed atmosphere once over.

"Well there's nothing either in her planner or on her computer that points to anything. I'll keep looking but how about we break for lunch. I'll just call the hospital to make sure every things ok." Chloe said before reaching for her phone and dialling.

"Um I can make some sandwiches or something if you like." Lana offered.

"That's ok, mom knew we'd be at it again today, so she made us a casserole, but could you cut the bread and I'll get the plates out."

"Sure."

When Chloe was finished with the call she helped to get the plates and glasses and the three of them ate lunch. No one spoke, there was nothing new to add.

"Well that was nice and filling. Ok, I'm going to get back into her computer, where are you two going first? You said neither of you found anything in her articles."

"No, there was nothing that rang any bells for me, Lana?"

"No, sorry Chloe, I didn't find anything either."

"Ok, so what are you going to do, just drive around Smallville, see if anything pops out at you?"

"It's the only thing I can think off, but it seems like a waste of time…no Chloe, please I didn't mean it like that." Clark waved a hand at the look on her face. "What I meant was, that I don't even know where to start looking, usually we have something to point us in the right direction but this time we don't, you know."

"Yeah, sorry. I know you didn't mean that you'd be wasting your time, I guess this situation has me a little off balance."

"That's understandable. Look we can just drive around, I don't mind doing that, what'd you think?" He asked turning to Lana and asking her opinion.

Lana shrugged "It couldn't hurt. We don't have anything and we can't just sit here watching Chloe go through Lois' computer, at least driving around we might see something."

"Ok, Chlo call me if you find anything, or if you want us to go to a particular place ok."

"Ok, thanks guys. I know this can't be much fun for either of you but I appreciate it."

"We're friends and I know that if it was us in the Medical Centre, you'd be doing the exact same thing." Lana said hugging Chloe.

"I would but thanks anyway." Chloe whispered.

Clark smiled, hugged Chloe and told her they'd be back in a few hours if she didn't call them first.

***

The occupants in the car were silent, driving around Smallville sounded so easy when they agreed to do it back at the farm, but back there Chloe had been with them and now they were by themselves and the tension that had existed previously had returned full force.

Neither was willing to break it, neither wanted to speak first and Clark was absurdly grateful when Lana finally spoke.

"Where exactly are we going?"

"I don't know I'm just driving. Unfortunately we don't have anywhere in particular to look, so for now we'll just drive and hope we see something."

"You're a good friend Clark; I'm sure that Chloe's grateful for your help."

"I hope so, I just wish we knew what happened, what caused it."

"I do too. It's kind of frightening really. This happened to Lois and because we don't know anything, there's nothing to stop it from happening to someone else."

"I know."

"Do you think someone did this deliberately or do you think Lois just stumbled onto something and it's affected her?" Lana asked curiously.

"I'm not sure, I mean if Lois stumbled onto something wouldn't she have mentioned it in her planner or on her computer, or wouldn't it have affected her straight away."

"She could have found something but didn't think anything of it and that's why Chloe can't find anything. Not everything affects someone straight away, we've both seen the way some people change and it doesn't always happen instantaneously."

"True."

The silence returned but this time it was easier, they drove around for a few hours, going back to the same places over and over, hoping to see something they had previously missed. They stopped once to refuel before getting on their way again but neither of them saw anything, and both were disheartened and frustrated when they made their way back to the farm.

When Lex called, they looked at each other, then Clark quickly shot his head forward again, but the muscle at the corner of his mouth twitched and his hands gripped the steering wheel tighter.

Lana looked at Clark out of the corner of her eye before turning to face the window to complete her call.

Now the silence in the car was worse than when they first started out. Clark wanted to say something but he didn't know what, he finally pulled the car over to the side of the road.

"Lana, I…"

"Clark, we're here to help Chloe and Lois, please don't say anything." Lana kept her face turned toward the window. She couldn't look at him, if she did, if she saw his face she was scared of what she'd do.

"I …..ok; but Lana please just be careful that's all, I just want you to be happy."

"Thank you, but can we go now."

"Yeah." Clark replied pulling the car back onto the road.

When they got back to the farmhouse Chloe looked at them with hope but seeing their faces she understood that not only had they not found anything, but once again their relationship had caused them to become morose and dour.

She wanted to smack both of them, she wanted them to forget about themselves for once, but decided she was just tired of their whole situation and didn't have it in her to comfort either of them. Lois was all that was on her mind and all she was wanted to discuss.

"By the look of your faces you found nothing then?" She asked quietly.

"No; sorry Chloe, we drove around for hours but didn't find anything." Clark said in the same vein.

"Ok, well, I'm just going to the Talon to get some stuff, I'll see you later."

"Wait Chlo, I'll take you, I don't want you going there by yourself."

"I have to get going too. Did you want me to just come over tomorrow Chloe?"

"No, unless one of us thinks of something; there's nothing to be done. I'll give you a call ok."

"Ok, but if you need me, promise you'll call alright?"

"I will, thanks Lana."

"Sure." She replied smiling back, her eyes locked with Clark's for a moment before she turned on her heel and left.

***

Neither Chloe nor Clark spoke when they drove to the Talon, nor while she got some clothes or on the drive back to the farm. One there she sat on the couch and stared straight ahead "I'm scared Clark."

"I know, I am too, but Chloe I told you yesterday Lois was going to be ok, and I really mean that." He said taking a seat next to her and putting an arm around her shoulders.

"I know you do but we don't have anything. This is the third day, how much longer is it going to go on for?" She let her head rest on his shoulder and could feel the tears gathering.

"You'll figure it out Chlo, you always have in the past and you will this time too." He said hugging her tighter.

***

When Martha came home they filled her in on their lack of progress. They had dinner, Martha went to bed and Chloe retrieved Lois' lap top to try and hopefully find something, but when her eyes began to blur she gave up and went to lie down on the couch.

"Chloe, go and sleep in my bed." Clark said firmly.

"I don't want to put you out."

"You won't be, I'll take the couch, I can go without sleep longer than you can, so go on you'll do better in a bed than on the couch."

"Thanks." She replied patting him on the shoulder and retreating upstairs.

Clark lay down on the couch with his hands tucked behind his head. As Chloe said this was the third day, and although he wanted to believe Lois was going to be alright, he had nothing to back up his claim.

Unless Lois woke up, or unless they found out what was causing this, they were going to lose her, and he felt unbearably sad that such a vibrant, strong personality like Lois could die when her life should only just be starting.

It didn't seem fair that so many good people died, while so many rotten ones flourished and he wondered why the fates could be so cruel. Then again if life was fair, he'd be with Lana right now. It would be their wedding she'd be preparing for. He'd been so happy when she consented to marry him, for a few hours he'd had Lana and the promise of a life that he'd dreamed off for years, and now she was planning to marry Lex, and the bitterness of that sat like a ball in his stomach.

He didn't believe she really loved Lex, he didn't believe that either of them loved each other, they were both just pretending, putting on a show to each other and everyone else.

Lana loved HIM, she'd stopped him earlier. He was about to ask her to give him another chance, to tell her he loved her and she'd stopped him. He should have done it anyway, he should have tried, taken the chance, at least it would have been something, and better than the nothing he had now. She might have said yes, she might have told him she was just waiting for him to make the first move, but he'd kept quiet and the opportunity was now gone. He'd made a mistake when he broke up with her, and now he'd made his second mistake by not taking the chance. He wouldn't make another.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

_Day Three: 2015_

Lana rolled over, looked at the other side of her empty bed and smoothed her hand over the sheet. She'd dreamt about Clark again last night which wasn't surprising, she dreamt about him most every night.

Glancing at the clock she saw it was almost 6am and knowing the alarm was going to go off any minute, decided to get up. She wanted to be at the Kent Farm by 10 so had to grab whatever time was available to look into the spell.

She had to find out where she went wrong, failing that find something that would allow her to fix or change their past, ensuring that neither of them made the same mistakes. If she couldn't do either, then she'd take Clark on any terms, even if he came to her out of loneliness.

But more than anything, she wanted to re-write their past. She didn't want to her marriage to Lex to take place, nor did she want years to go by without any contact with Clark, and she especially didn't want him to become ensnared by Lois once again. She wanted all of that wiped out.

She had a shower, dressed and ate breakfast within half an hour then quickly went to the trunk at the foot of her bed, opened it, removed the false bottom and took out her spell book. Unfortunately it was far from complete, she still had a lot to learn but there had to be something and she'd find it.

After reading the directions and the terms of the spell she'd done she still couldn't figure where she went wrong, but on the fourth read through she finally found it.

She had screwed up in three ways, she had done a spell on Clark's true love, but right now, Clark was living in denial and delusion that Lois was that woman.

She should have done the spell on _**past**_ Clark, when he was open to her, open to loving her and hadn't repressed his true feelings because of the hurt and betrayal by her marriage to Lex. And of course at that point, her younger self was closed off, she was angry and hurting and had built up a barrier, a wall so high that not even magic could overcome.

She remembered that after spending the first day with Clark, her walls had started to crumble, but not enough, not enough to open her mind to the possibility of taking Clark back, she'd been too stubborn and arrogant, but now that she knew where she went wrong, all she needed to do was to figure out how to fix it and send Lois back. Then she could try again.

This time instead of using magic on Clark, she'd try something else. Thinking about it the spell on past Clark wouldn't have worked anyway. He was open, yes, he wanted her back, yes, but she had been hell bent on marrying Lex just to make Clark suffer, so no matter what he said she wouldn't have listened.

There was only one person her younger self would have listened to, now she just had to figure out a way to make it possible, but first she needed to find out how to send Lois back.

She re-checked both the wording and the ingredients used on the first spell and found out how to fix it. Now that she knew what was wrong, reversing it was quite easy but there was no hurry. Younger Lois wasn't interested in Clark which made the situation easier, and she had been in the Medical Centre for five days, so maybe she originally sent her back only after she figured out how to correct the mistakes of their past and at least this way, she wouldn't have to see older Lois back in Clark's arms.

***

Clark woke up and quickly turned his eyes to seek out Lois, she was still fast asleep and after listening to her breathing for a minute, blew out the breath he'd been holding. Unlike the previous morning, he didn't seek out Lois beside him, last night's events were still very much in his mind and he thought it would be a long time before they left.

When he fell in love with Lois he'd had to accept that unlike him, she was vulnerable to disease and hurt. She could bleed and bruise and it wouldn't disappear in an instant, she would need time to recover like any other person. That was the hardest thing to face, knowing that at any moment she could be taken from him.

But he'd resolutely determined that whatever time they had together he would enjoy and be grateful for, and spend the rest of his life content that he'd lucky enough to have her in his life and to have had her love. But last night he realised that he'd been lying to himself all along. He wouldn't be content, he wouldn't be thankful, and he wouldn't be happy, he'd be terrified, lonely and broken.

To not have Lois beside him, to not have her love, her friendship, her presence was one of the most frightening things he would have to face. He didn't know if he had the same life span as her, when he was younger he used to think that he'd outlive everyone he loved, but after last night, after Lois had died he knew that wouldn't be true. She'd said that she would wait for him, but she wouldn't have to wait long, wherever she was, he wanted to be there and he would find a way to ensure he would be.

Thinking back over what his mom and Chloe said, he knew they were right, if whoever was after Lois was using her to get at Superman, they wouldn't do anything to hurt her, not if they wanted his co-operation; which they'd get only as long as it took him to hunt them down. If it was someone after her for revenge, they wouldn't get anything out of him, but he'd find them, it wouldn't matter how long it took, he'd find them, and if Lois was taken from him, after it was over, after he found them, he would he join his beloved.

He looked at the clock and saw that it wasn't quite 6am; he was surprised he'd slept at all. He got out of bed, did the farm chores at super speed, had a shower, and flew to Metropolis. He re-read every article that he and Lois had written both together and separately but found nothing that stood out.

No names had jumped up at him; no warning bells had gone off, nothing. Most of those they investigated or wrote about were still in jail and unless they had access to a lot of money, they wouldn't be able to pay anyone to do their dirty work for them. He checked out the few who were out of prison but didn't get any kind of vibes from them either. He'd keep an eye on them, ensure that he wasn't missing anything but for now decided to go back to the farm. He was back home and opening the kitchen door at 7.30am.

"Good morning honey, did you sleep at all?"

"Morning mom, yeah I did. I didn't think I would, I was sure I'd stay up all night but I must have been more tired than I thought."

"I think with everything that's going on your brain just wanted a rest sweetie, you maybe super, but you still need to sleep and the last couple of days haven't been easy."

"Yeah, I'll just…morning Chlo." He smiled when he saw her walking down the stairs freshly showered.

"Morning, how do you feel?"

"You know, for the last two days we've been asking Lois that, and now I can understand why she finds it annoying." He smiled to take any rebuke out of his reply.

"Yeah and just like with Lo; it's annoying not to get an answer." Chloe responded promptly, smiling back.

"I'm fine Chlo, really." they took their seats at the table and Clark filled the ladies in on his lack of progress in researching anyone who could be responsible.

"Well it was worth a shot, but don't worry Clark as I said last night, if someone is behind this to get at Superman, you'll know about it soon enough. At least then we won't be working in the dark" Chloe said simply.

He acknowledged her response with a slight smile and nodded his head.

"Do you think Lois knows what happened to Joanne?" Chloe asked quietly.

"I don't know, I hope not and don't know if we should tell her or not." Clark shrugged.

"I think we should; she's entitled to know." Chloe put forward.

Clark nodded his head in agreement "I know but how do I tell her something like that?"

"You'll find the right words sweetie, but I agree with Chloe she's entitled to know, she's the most affected by this, even more than you." Martha said gently and he nodded in agreement.

After breakfast the kitchen was cleaned up and the dishes prepared the previous night were put in the oven to bake or on the stove to cook. While Martha cooked, Chloe began preparing the next lot and Clark retired outside to take care of the livestock before coming back in to help. The kitchen was a hive of activity, with everyone being kept busy and it was only when the clock struck 9, that they realised Lois had yet to make an appearance. Clark had been listening to her breathing and heart beating so knew she was ok, but was concerned that she hadn't woken as yet.

"She's tired honey last night must have taken a lot out of her, why don't you go up and check." His mom said encouragingly.

"Um yeah, I think I will, I'll be back." He said before racing up the stairs and stopping in front of the bedroom door.

***

Before going inside Clark quickly scanned the room and finding that Lois was still asleep hesitated. He turned the knob, walked in, closed the door quietly then sat on the edge of the bed. He smoothed her hair back then let his hand rest against her cheek.

Looking at her it was hard to remember this wasn't his fiancé, if only she looked like her younger self it would all be so much easier. Not that it would ever be easy but it would be easier.

But she wasn't his fiancé not really. She would be one day, but for now she was someone who considered him a friend and nothing more, she was also someone who wouldn't appreciate him looking at her while she was unguarded and sleeping.

Her heart was beating normally, so he knew she was ok but he wanted to see her awake, right now he'd even take her trying to throw him at Lana if she'd just open her eyes.

"Lo, are you going to wake up?" He quietly called.

Clark smiled at the way she nodded before turning over and pulling the blankets more securely around herself.

How many times had he tried to wake her up in the mornings only to get the same response? Sometimes she opened one eye, nodded and then turned over, snuggling back down into bed and he had to get creative just to get her up. Sometimes she tugged until he was back in bed with her then snuggled into him. Lois was just not a morning person.

"Lois, it's time to get up." He called again, lightly shaking her shoulder.

"Hmm." She replied

"Lois we had plans today remember." She was resisting waking up and this was definitely familiar, this was the Lois he knew, she usually hung onto sleep until the very last second.

"I miss you Ollie." It was almost a whisper, but he heard the words and they were like a knife in his heart.

"Lois its Clark." He said loudly, hoping that would wake her up.

"Clark! Smallville, what are you doing here?" She shot up in bed, then sat with her arms around her knees and her face buried in her arms.

"You were sleeping pretty late and I got worried."

"Oh, umm did I just call you Ollie?" She asked looking out the window

"Yeah."

"Sorry, I was kinda dreaming and I guess hearing a man's voice and…you don't wanna know this. I'm just going to take a shower and I'll be down soon ok?"

"Ok." He said getting up and going out the door. He paused outside; laid one hand on the door and the other against his heart. That wasn't familiar, usually when she was dreaming it was about them and she'd say his name. Hearing her call out to Oliver hurt, and he had to remind himself that this Lois was still hurting from Oliver's departure.

Unfortunately this situation was hurting them all.

***

Lois lay back down, on the one hand she felt bad for calling Clark, Oliver, on the other she resented being woken from her dream. She missed him, she'd had boyfriends before Ollie, a couple that she really liked but Ollie had been special. As soon as she opened the door and saw him standing there, she started falling. It wasn't just his looks, there had been something about him that called to her and the longer she knew him the deeper she fell.

If he had asked her to go with him she would have, and when he left, when he told her he was leaving, it almost broke her heart. She'd had other boyfriends that left, that told her time apart would be good for them, she wasn't stupid she knew a 'kiss off' when she heard it, but with Ollie it didn't feel like that. He said that his leaving would be the decision he'd regret for the rest of his life and she'd agreed with him. But even still, she wanted to believe that he was happy. She didn't want to know if he'd met someone else, but she did want him to be happy.

She just wished that she had been enough for him. She had never been enough for anybody, but with Ollie she wished that she had been. When she felt the tears trickling down her cheeks she didn't bother to wipe them away, in public, she was strong, they would never see her broken and bruised but when she was alone, she could be herself, and let the tears fall and hope that eventually she'd get over this.

She'd asked Clark only a few months ago how he could ever have let Lana go if he felt about her as she did about Ollie, and knowing how she felt then and still felt now, she still didn't understand how he'd done it.

She couldn't imagine caring about anyone as much as she did Ollie and especially not Clark, he just wasn't her type, taking the mood swings and the fanatical devotion to Lana out of the equation, he just wasn't the type of guy she was interested in.

If she couldn't go back, maybe she could help Clark, if it turned out that he really and truly didn't want Lana she could help him find someone else to make him happy, and she could also find out if Ollie was still free and ….god she was pathetic, she never chased after guys, they chased her. THEY chased her, but once they caught her, they couldn't get away fast enough. And although _she_ didn't love him, it would only be a matter of time before Joanne was hurt when Clark wanted out. She had never been enough and couldn't see that he would be any different.

***

"Is she awake…Clark what's wrong?" Martha asked seeing her son was upset and trying to hide it.

"Everything's fine mom, Lois is awake, she's going to take a shower and then come down" He replied simply but his eyes were shadowed and it was obvious something was bothering him.

"What's wrong sweetie?" She asked again, catching his hand and leading him to the table to sit down.

"She was dreaming, she thought I was Ollie and…." He trailed off but the hurt in his eyes couldn't be disguised.

"I'm sorry Clark" Chloe stepped forward and gently rubbed his arm.

"I know she's not my Lois. I know that for her Oliver only left a couple of months ago but it hurts to look at my fiancé and hear her call me by her ex-boyfriends name." He said sadly.

"What'd she say when she realised it was you?"

"She apologised, god this is just getting worse. First my fiancé wakes up and she's not my fiancé, then last night my Lois comes back and she…she dies and now younger Lois is calling me by another man's name."

"Clark why don't you go flying for a bit, you always say you find it calming, and Lois, well she didn't mean to hurt your feelings about Oliver but she is who she is, and right now she's 20, she's not the woman who's your fiancé but she'd still hate knowing that she's hurt you like this." Chloe said quietly.

"Yeah, look I'm just going to go outside, this is a farm and there's always something to do, I'll be back in a little while." He said before walking outside.

***

Once outside Clark didn't know where he was headed and ended up in his loft. He sat down on the couch and closed his eyes. He knew he was being stupid, but hearing Lois tell Oliver that she missed him cut deep.

It was so ludicrous really, back there he was pining for Lana, and although there were times Lois became frustrated with him, she had still listened when he needed to vent, and yet here she was in the same situation and he just couldn't do it. He couldn't look at his fiancés face and listen to her talk about Oliver, or stand to be called Oliver by her, especially not in her sleep.

He was used to hearing _his_ name on her lips, in laugher, in anger in passion. But hearing her say 'I miss you Ollie' in a tone that clearly conveyed just how much she did miss, him made him feel resentful and hurt.

If they couldn't fix this she wouldn't want him, she'd want Oliver and if she ever found out that Oliver still loved her, she'd go to him and he would surely lose her.

Years ago he'd told Oliver that he wouldn't stand in their way if he and Lois were meant to be together. But he knew now that Oliver and Lois _**weren't**_ meant to be together, he and Lois were, and fighting for her wouldn't even be an option because he wasn't who she wanted, not at this point in her life.

He felt the couch give way next to him, opened his eyes, turned his head and smiled "Did you and mom vote and the loser had to come out and talk to me?"

"No, I just thought I'd give it a try." Chloe smiled.

"I'm ok Chlo, it just caught me off guard that's all."

"Still it must have hurt and I'm sorry."

"Yeah, I was just thinking that where she's from, I'm bending everyone's ears about Lana, so I should try to be understanding but…"

"But it's hard. It's kind of spooky when you think about it, where Lo's from you helped her get back with Ollie while 'mooning' over Lana and yet here it's all upside down."

"I know."

"Clark."

"Hmm."

"What did you mean yesterday when you said Oliver wanted Lois back?" Chloe asked quietly.

"You were out of town when it happened."

"When what happened?"

"We broke up, Chloe." He said simply.

"What! Lois has never said anything about you two breaking up and neither have you?" She was shocked. Chloe knew they argued sometimes, but she never thought any of their fights had been serious enough that they broke up.

"We only broke up for three days, but they were the worst three days of my life until last night. I know three days doesn't sound like much but if Lois wasn't the forgiving woman that she is, I would have lost her for good, so it's not something I try to remember."

"Can you tell me about it, or would you prefer not to say anything. I won't be hurt if you don't want to talk about it."

"I don't like to remember it, not only because I lost Lo, but also because my actions still shame me. But look Chlo if I tell you this, you have to promise not to say anything to Lois. Ever! We don't dwell on it and we can't ignore it because it happened, but we have put it behind us."

"I won't."

"Chlo, I don't come out in a good light in this, are you sure you wanna hear it?"

"Yes".

Clark turned back to face front, got his thoughts in order, nodded and began.

***

He was at his apartment, getting dinner ready, Lois was due any minute, she would most likely be late but if he wasn't ready when she arrived, he'd get an earful from her for assuming she was going to be late.

They'd been dating for nine months, he'd told her he loved her two months ago and their relationship was flourishing. He knew he made her happy and he had more than he'd ever dreamed off. True he'd be happier still if she fell in love with him but he wasn't going to let that ruin everything.

When he heard the knock on his door, he looked at the clock in shock. She was on time, not that he wasn't pleased but he was baffled, she had a key and usually just let herself in.

When he opened the door he was surprised and delighted to find Oliver Queen on his doorstep.

"Hi Clark."

"Oliver, my god, it's so good to see you, come in." He smiled, shook Oliver's hand and gestured him inside.

"Thanks, it's good to see you too." Oliver replied, smiling.

"What are you doing here?" He asked leading Oliver to the living area.

"Well I've come to see you of course. I think I've given you enough time to establish yourself as Superman." He smiled before taking a seat in the armchair "I'm really proud of you Clark and I'm glad that you finally did get off your ass." He said making them both laugh.

"Thanks Ollie, I wish I'd done it sooner but maybe in the end the timing was right. Although I'm also glad that I finally got off my ass as well." He replied and smiled.

"I've read Lois' articles; she seems quite taken with the Superman unlike her feelings for the Green Arrow." Ollie said with a slight moue on his face.

"Maybe, but don't forget that when she thought you were the Green Arrow, she cared enough about you to promise to keep it a secret." He knew it was silly but was secretly glad that Lois had liked Superman right away, as opposed to her feelings for the Green Arrow.

"I know, I was an idiot and should have told her. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I thought it was time to track down my wayward friend and ask him if he's ready to join the Justice League."

"I'm not sure. I want to be a part of it Ollie. But between Superman, being a reporter and helping my mom on the farm when I can, my time is pretty full already. I don't want to join the Justice League, only to find myself over extended and let everyone down; myself included." He paused then continued "Can I think about it, make sure that I'm ready and let you know?"

"Sure, I understand, as long as you understand that I'm not going to accept any answer but yes." Oliver replied promptly making both men chuckle again.

"Thanks. Do you want a drink? Lois will be here soon and I think she'd like to see you." Clark asked.

"Lois? Oh, that's right the two of you are partners. I've really enjoyed your articles and you both deserved to win that Kerth award. I was proud that two people I cared about won it."

"Thanks, I was really proud too, mostly because it was something I accomplished without using my powers you know" He shrugged, knowing that what he said was never more true.

"Well I know you, so I'm not surprised but you should still be proud of what you do as Superman" Oliver replied.

"I am Ollie, but winning the Kerth was different."

"Fair enough, so ….."

"Clark sorry I'm so la…..Ollie" Lois stood inside the doorway frozen; staring at the man she hadn't seen for several years.

When Lois and Oliver just stared at each other, Clark could feel the beginnings of apprehension in his stomach. He finally cleared his throat to break the awkward moment.

"Sorry, it's good to see you Ollie" Lois said, she smiled at Clark when he came forward to help her off with her jacket and led her down into the living area.

"You too Lo, I was just congratulating Clark on the Kerth award you both won and congratulations again, on the two you've won yourself" Oliver replied. He'd gotten to his feet at her entrance and leaned forward to brush a kiss across her cheek.

"Thanks; so were you just in town and stopped by for a visit?"

"No I needed to talk to Clark about something else."

"She knows Ollie. Oliver was asked to approach Superman to join the Justice League, Lo" Clark said walking to the table to pour her a glass of wine.

"Oh."

"So what do you think?" He valued Lois' opinion and discussed anything of importance with her. After all, whatever affected Superman affected their relationship and he wasn't going to do anything without her input.

"I think it's your decision" She replied, smiling in thanks for the wine.

He handed a glass to Oliver, then sat down next to Lois and put his arm around her shoulders. When they sat together, he always put his hand on her leg, or around her waist or shoulders but this time, he had to admit that there was a feeling of showing ownership about it.

He'd seen the look in both Lois and Oliver's eyes. It was a look of remembrance and he couldn't stem the jealousy that started to rise. He wanted to ensure that Oliver knew exactly whom Lois was with now. They'd broken up seven years ago but he was taking no chances. Lois was his.

"You two are..?" It seemed that Oliver had gotten the message loud and clear and he was pleased.

"Yeah we've been together for about nine months now."

"It's kind of funny; don't get me wrong, I just remember the response I got when I intimated that you had feelings years ago."

"That was a long time ago Oliver."

"True, look I'll leave so…."

"No stay, it's been a long time and it'll be good to catch up" He was being an idiot. He was acting territorial and neither of them had done anything to warrant it. His tension was being conveyed to both of them and just making everyone uncomfortable and he resolved to stop. Lois was with him now. Of course they were going to be surprised to see each other, it had been seven years and at one time they'd been close, but their relationship was in the past and he had to let it go.

"I don't want to intrude."

"You won't be, we'd like you to stay, right Lo?"

"Yes, stay Ollie, it really is good to see you again and it'd be nice to catch up."

"Ok thanks."

"So what's for dinner?" Lois asked.

"Roast chicken with vegetables and mashed potato, with chocolate mousse for afters."

"See, now this is why I date him Ollie, the man knows how to keep me well fed and happy" Lois teased and he smiled back, glad that he'd asked Oliver to stay.

He'd had to leave once for a Superman call, and when he came back 20 minutes later, found the two of them relaxed at the kitchen table, laughing and talking. It didn't take him long to realise they were talking about when they dated. He knew that he should call out, let them know he was back but he was curious to hear them talk and interact without a third party around.

"Are you still doing the relaxation stuff I taught you?"

"No, you know me, I didn't get it then and just thought it was a load of crap, besides I thought you were just using it as an excuse to get your hands on me" Lois grinned, tongue in cheek.

"Lois you wound me" Oliver laughed "But hey, I'm a guy of course I was trying to get my hands on you."

"Well it didn't work, if I remember correctly I took you down and got my hands on you first" She laughed back.

Listening to their conversation he felt something inside begin to hurt. He and Lois had never talked about her relationship with Oliver, and it hurt to think that she could have shared with Oliver the same intimacies she now shared with him.

"So what'd you think?" She asked gesturing to the fudge.

"It's really very original, I love it." Oliver hesitated before replying with a smile.

"Really; thanks" She replied with a pleased smile "I wasn't sure it would turn out. I haven't made this one before, Clark usually loves my chocolate brownies, but I wanted to try something new."

"It's great Lo; I love it as much as I loved your apple pie." Oliver said sincerely and Clark heard his pulse pick up at the lie.

Listening to them, seeing Oliver eating the fudge she had made for him rankled. _She'd made him fudge and was letting Oliver have some! HE was her boyfriend, HE was the only one entitled to be forced to eat her awful cooking; HE was the one she made the damn fudge for, not Oliver _and he decided that it was time to make his presence known.

"Hey I'm back."

"Hi" Lois smiled at him.

"Hey Clark." Oliver saluted him with his cup.

"What's this?" He asked joining them at the table and gesturing to the plate.

"Oh, I made you some peanut butter fudge and just remembered it, it's a little squashed sorry."

"That's ok, so can I have some?"

"Sure, sorry again, I kind of forgot it was in my bag and I threw a book on top of the plate, but it still tastes the same."

He took a bite and couldn't believe how appalling it was, but it was his fudge, she'd made it for him and he was going to eat it.

"So what'd you think" She asked looking at him anxiously.

"It's great Lo; I can't decide what you make that I like best, but you know how much I appreciate anything you for make me, thank you." He squeezed her hand in appreciation. The fudge was the worst thing she'd made yet, but just the fact that she'd taken the time to make it for him made it special. When she rose to get more coffee, he exchanged a horrified glance with Oliver and both men knew by the exchange that neither liked her cooking, and neither were willing to hurt her feelings with the truth.

The quick exchange also made him realise that he'd been an ass, Lois and Oliver were friends and his dash of jealousy had been petty. The rest of the night had been nice and casual, the three of them had exchanged stories and enjoyed themselves and by the time Oliver left, their friendship had been very firmly re-established.

But that night, when he and Lois made love, he was a little more demanding than usual, a little more possessive and after the third time she'd said enough.

They talked about inconsequential things while tiding up when he noticed that Lois kept rubbing her neck and rolling her shoulders, which usually meant that she'd been bent over her computer for too long without a break. He led her back to the table, urged her to sit down and to rest her head on the surface then began to press his hands over her shoulders and rub his fingers down her back. On hearing her slight moan, he leaned down and pressed a kiss on top of her bent head.

"How about a massage Lo, you're pretty tense."

"I know, I was working on this article and I think I must have sat hunched over for too long."

"You did, I can tell. C'mon, you're going to be even worse tomorrow if I don't rub you down." He picked her up, carried her into the bedroom, sat her on the edge of the bed, and had just started to unbutton her blouse when he knew he had to leave "Damn sorry Lo, I have to go."

"That's ok, I'll just have a shower; maybe some hot water will ease it a little." She smiled.

"Hot water will only help so much, hopefully this won't take long." He kissed her quickly and left.

He came back 40 minutes later to find her sitting on the bed, wrapped in her robe and combing her hair "Did the shower help?"

"Yeah a little, I know you don't need them but do you have a wheat bag I can warm up?"

"I don't need them but my girlfriend does, so I keep a couple on hand, but how about we follow my initial suggestion and I give you a massage instead."

"Well I'm not going to refuse because my neck and back are a little sore."

"Well if you insist on torturing yourself sitting for hours in uncomfortable positions…" He let the sentence trail off and smiled when she poked out her tongue.

"Like you'd know what a sore muscle feels like." She groaned giving her neck a quick rub.

"C'mon, lets see what I can do." He said going into the bathroom and returning with oil and towels.

He spread the towels over the bed, un-wrapped her from her robe and got her lie down on her stomach.

Lois loved to be massaged, and he loved to do it. He had bought some lightly scented massage oil, one that didn't absorb into the skin too quickly, so when he rubbed at her muscles his fingers didn't drag causing more her pain then healing.

He'd also bought an aroma therapy candle for just such an occasion, knowing the light scent would help her to relax further.

Placing the fat candle on the nightstand he quickly lit it, turned the bedroom lights to dim and quickly undressed down to his briefs.

"Are you comfortable babe?" At her nod, he crawled on the bed, poured some oil into his palm, and smoothed his hands together to warm it up. Using gentle strokes he spread the oil over her back in smooth wide strokes with the flat part of his hand, working his way up to her shoulders and the back of her neck. He gently squeezed her neck and rubbed his fingers into the skin, before moving across to her shoulders again, applying more and less pressure depending on the sounds she was making.

When he felt her neck and shoulders relax, he poured more oil into his hand and began to work from the top of her shoulders down, rubbing her shoulder blades and across the whole of her back, down to the sides of her breasts, waist and hips then up again. He stretched out her arms and massaged her biceps lightly with his fingertips, taking his time moving down her arms to her fingers. Lightly rubbing the back of her hands and spreading her fingers wide with his before trailing his hands to her back again, then gentled his strokes down both sides of her spinal cord. He knew by the moans she was making that she was feeling better but wanted to make sure "How are you feeling Lo?"

Her faced turned on the pillow, one eye opened and waving her arm airily around she breezily replied "I feel great, don't stop."

He smiled and went back to massaging either side of her spinal cord until he reached her tail bone and couldn't help but tease the area at the base of her spine, smiling wider when she began to wiggle. He rubbed her bottom, one smooth globe then the other, rubbing his palm and fingers firmly then softly then firmly again over each.

Tugging his briefs down and off, he poured a little more oil into his hands and began to work down her legs, paying special attention to her inner thighs, keeping his touch gentle then pressing harder at her whispered encouragement.

He rubbed her legs one section at a time, moving from her thighs to her calves and feet, rubbing his fingers through her toes and onto her arch, giving a light chuckle when her toes curled and she tried to pull her foot away. Then turned and did her other leg.

All the while rubbing her legs he leant down and let his chest lightly rub against her back, dropping light kisses and exhaling softly against her skin. When he moved back up to her thighs, he straddled her legs letting his erection brush softly against her body, and when he was finished he lay on top of her, ensuring to keep his weight on his hands then bent down and took her earlobe gently in his teeth, licking and sucking lightly.

He knew by her soft cries that she now had more than massage on her mind and he was definitely in the mood for more too "Are you feeling ok baby?"

"God yes, that was wonderful, thank you."

He lay down beside her and leant forward to receive her kiss of thanks "Well, you know how much I love giving you a massage." He said with a lop-sided smile.

"You enjoy getting your hands on me, but I'm definitely not complaining." She smiled and rolled over to face him.

"What me to do your front?" He asked wiggling his eyebrows "My hands are eager and ever ready to help."

"I just bet they are." She laughed.

He grinned in return, leant forward and took her mouth in a deep kiss. The third time after they made love found Lois lying on top of him, her face buried between his neck and shoulder while he held close and gently rubbed her back. When her breathing began to even out, he rolled her to his side and curled around her.

Leaning forward he kissed her neck and the side of her mouth before laying his cheek against hers "I love you Lo, more than anything; I love you more than anything." He murmured softly.

"I know; I know you do" she whispered turning her face to kiss him.

When he began to caress her again, she grabbed his hand, silently shook her head, kissed him and told him enough before pulling his arm around her waist. While she slept, he held her in his arms, softly ran his hand across her tummy and thought about how grateful he was that she had still been free when he came back, and that she was now with him.

He didn't realise it at the time, but seeing Lois and Oliver together, seeing the way they looked at each other, hearing them talk and laugh, and remembering that she once thought she loved Oliver would soon cause him to unleash his fear of losing her in a manner that not only disrespected and hurt her, but shamed him.

The next night they were to have dinner at her apartment but he was running very late due to a Superman emergency. He had been about to fly in her window when he heard the unmistakable sound of Oliver's voice and listened to their conversation. An action he would forever regret because of the hurtful things he'd said and done afterwards.

He had listened and watched, taking careful note of their mannerisms and facial expressions. And the longer he listened, the higher his anger and jealousy grew.

"We were good together Lois." Oliver was sitting on the couch facing her and he wondered how long Oliver had been there already.

"That was a long time ago, we were younger then. We've changed and we did have our problems Ollie." Lois replied smiling ruefully.

"Our only problem was that I didn't want you to know I was the Green Arrow."

"So why did you tell me now? I wouldn't have told anyone then, I promised I wouldn't, so why are you telling me now?" Lois got up and paced towards the window.

He'd quickly darted to the side of the window so she wouldn't see him. He didn't want her to see him, he just wanted to know. He wanted to know how hard Oliver was going to try and steal his girlfriend and how much he'd have to hurt him in return. And he needed to know if Lois was going to take Oliver back and break his heart. He needed to be prepared.

"I was young and stupid then Lo. I wanted to tell you, but let's face it you weren't exactly a fan of the Green Arrow." Oliver replied standing and walking over to join her.

"No, but I was a fan of you." She replied with a slight smile before turning to look out the window.

"I'm sorry, I really am. The Green Arrow was also why I left. I felt the work I did was more important than what I wanted, so I walked away. But it broke my heart to leave you behind." Oliver put his hands on her shoulders, turned her around and looked down into her face.

Seeing them standing so close together, seeing them look into each others eyes; his heart started to hurt. He wanted to rush in, remind Oliver who Lois belonged to, remove Oliver's hands from his girlfriend and break them.

"Hearts heal Ollie, we both know that." She shrugged out of his hold and walked over to the fish tank, picking up the container and sprinkling some food in.

"Yeah, but mine has always had a Lois hole in it. Every relationship I've had since us has failed. Not because the women weren't nice but because they weren't you." Oliver turned to face her but this time didn't follow.

"I'm sorry Ollie, I really am, but it's too late. I'm with Clark now and I'm happy, he makes me happy." She replied, brushing her hands together and walking back over to the couch to re-take her seat.

_You tell him sweetheart. _He wanted to smirk and laugh in Oliver's face.

"Clark once told me that if we were meant to be together, he wouldn't stand in our way."

_He couldn't believe Oliver would use his words against him while trying to steal Lois. He'd said that when he was nothing more than an callow youth, too blind to see what was right in front of him, too immature to know that Lois was the one person he would need and love, he would never __**EVER**__ say it now._

"When did he tell you that, yesterday, the day before?" Lois asked with a slight knowing smile.

"No, years ago." Oliver gave a light embarrassed laugh and rubbed his hand over his neck "When he asked me to join you all for Thanksgiving after I'd behaved like a juiced up idiot."

"Ollie, if we were meant to be together you wouldn't have left; or you would have asked me to go with you."

"If I had asked you to go with me, would you?"

"Yes."

"I just thought the work I was doing was more important than what I wanted."

"You were right; you do good work as the Green Arrow."

"You think so?"

"Yeah I do. I'm not as young as I used to be either and I think the Green Arrows a good guy, just like you are."

"But…."

"But it's too late for us now; we parted ways a long time ago."

"Are you in love with Clark?" Oliver rocked lightly on his heels and asked the question that must have been burning in his mind since the previous night.

He held his breath and silently pleaded for her to lie, or to tell Oliver their relationship was none of his business but she did neither of those things.

"I love him." She looked at Oliver then away.

"That's not what I asked. I asked if you were in love with him?" Oliver replied, sitting next to her and taking her hand in one of his.

"Look Ollie, we were over a long time ago, I'm with Clark now…." Lois tugged her hand free and ran it through her hair before letting it lie in her lap.

"You don't love him Lois, don't you think you both deserve to be with someone you love." Oliver's voice cut across hers before he leant forward to kiss her.

_Fuck, he actually said that, he actually had the nerve to try and steal his girlfriend, the woman he loved away and make it sound like some kind of noble act that he was_ _doing for their benefit._

He'd never been so close to wanting to pound Oliver into the ground then at that moment. He realised later that it was from this point that his jealousy and fear of losing her had made him unreasonable.

"Don't please. I don't love you Ollie. When you left me years ago, it was one of the hardest things I've ever had to face. But I'm a realist and eventually I got through it. I don't feel romantic about you anymore. You're a friend Ollie, please don't spoil it." She sat back and held him off with one hand against his chest.

He was glad she didn't let Oliver kiss her; he honestly didn't know what he would have done if they'd kissed but throwing Oliver onto the moon sounded about right.

And now he knew, she had been a lot more hurt by Oliver's defection then he realised. Clearly a lot more hurt than if he, Clark left her, considering she didn't even love him.

"I'm sorry Lo, I don't mean to hurt you. But my leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Do you remember what I said to you?"

"Yes." She replied after a slight pause.

"I was right. I said that leaving you would be the moment I'd regret for the rest of my life and it was true." He could see by the look on his face that Oliver was sincere. He had the look of a man who realised he'd made the worst mistake he could make and now that it was too late, wanted to rectify the situation.

"I'm sorry Ollie, I really am but it's too late. I'm with Clark now, and our being together is as much of a surprise for us, as it is for you."

The two of them had smiled, then lightly chuckled but listening to the conversation he didn't find the situation funny at all. Oliver was trying to steal her from him and she was laughing. Maybe she wasn't as indifferent as she claimed to be. They had never discussed her relationship with Oliver; it was in the past, so he hadn't given it any thought. He should have, he should have found out exactly how she felt, maybe then he could have saved himself some time and heartache.

_Thanks for nothing sweetheart. I'm only in love with you, wear my heart on my sleeve for you and would cut out my damn heart for you if that's what you wanted. You may not feel the same way, but you don't need to make our relationship sound like a joke. _

He knew his anger was out of control, his jealousy had made him lose all sense of reason but he couldn't stop it.

"Look I'd better go, but I'm going to tell Clark about this." Oliver got up and moved towards the door.

"Why?" She got up and followed.

_WHY!!! So she wasn't planning on telling him about this. If he hadn't been listening she wouldn't have said anything and he'd never have known unless Oliver told him. Now he couldn't help but wonder what else she hid from him. So she didn't consider him worthy of her love OR her trust. Yeah, thanks for nothing!_

"Because he deserves to know the truth. That I'm in love with his girlfriend and tried to steal her from him, I won't go behind his back." Oliver replied before opening the door.

_Oliver at least had some shred of decency; not much, but more than she did obviously!_

"Thanks, I really do care about you, you know." She put her hand on Oliver's arm and kissed him on the cheek.

_So she cared about Oliver, how touching. She'd used almost the exact same words when she said she didn't love him. She'd pretended to care more of course, after all he was her god damned FRIEND. Was she hoping to keep both him and Oliver on a string, play them off against each other?_

"I know and Lo; if things don't work out with Clark, please call me, I'll always be waiting."

_Maybe he didn't have a shred of decency. Well of course not, the bastard was trying to steal his girlfriend._

"Don't Ollie you're a wonderful man and there's a wonderful woman out there for you, don't waste your life waiting for something that might not happen. I'd like to know that you were happy and had found someone to love."

_Might not happen, means it could. She was certainly keeping the door open a crack for Oliver. He didn't know her at all. How many other men had she played this game with?_

"I'll be waiting, but hey I'm no monk."

They both chuckled and she closed the door. He watched as she sat back down on the sofa and as she started to cry his anger spilled over.

_So, she'd been hoping to keep this whole conversation from him, and to keep Oliver in reserve so when she got tired of good old Clark, Oliver would still be available. Like hell. SHE. WAS. HIS!!!_

The logical part of his mind was telling him that he was being both unfair and unreasonable, that he should go away before he did or said anything irreparable. To come back when he was calmer, but the animal that had been tugging on the leash of his fear and jealousy from the moment he saw the look they exchanged the previous night broke free when he saw her crying over Oliver Bloody Queen.

He flew in the window, spun into his clothes then stood in front of her in his Superman stance. He knew that he'd scared her, he'd done in deliberately. Normally when he arrived, even when he came in the window his arrival was quiet and when he changed, he tried to cause as little disturbance as he could. This time he'd done the opposite. By the time he'd finished spinning into his street clothes, she was holding onto the couch, papers, photos and other objects had been flying around the room and her eyes were opened wide. Thank god, he'd retained enough sense to make sure she wasn't hurt, just frightened.

He'd wanted to scare her, to shake her up. If he could give back just a little bit of the fear he'd had to endure while listening to their conversation he thought he'd feel better but he didn't. He hated anything to scare her, he hated anything to hurt her and right now, he hated himself for doing both but just couldn't stop.

She wouldn't care if he walked out on her. THAT was what scared the hell out of him; THAT was the nightmare he lived with; that she'd leave him, but she didn't love him so breaking his heart wouldn't bother her at all. But then he wasn't Oliver Queen. What had she said about Oliver leaving her 'that it was one of the hardest things she'd ever had to face', she wouldn't say that about _him_ and the knowledge cut deep.

She was everything to him, he loved her more than life and knowing that someone was trying to take her away from him; that it was a man he called friend and a man she had once cared deeply about, not only scared but infuriated him.

He hardened his heart and decided that she wasn't going to get out of explaining her actions. He loved her, he always would, that wasn't in doubt but it was high time she decided once and for all what she really wanted. He'd pursued her; he'd coaxed and talked her into their relationship. Hell he'd even talked her into staying with him and it was about time she offered something back.

"Clark what the hell…." Lois was clearly shocked and pissed off at his abrupt entrance.

Oh no, she was not going to make him feel guilty or in the wrong; this time it all her "That's what I'd like to know, what the hell….." he replied back in the same tone.

"What?" She looked so innocent. He would have bought the whole act if her eyes weren't wet and if he hadn't heard her conversation with Oliver. And that just pissed him off even more. If he'd come a little later and found her crying, she would have fobbed him off with an excuse and he wouldn't have questioned her, he'd have just accepted whatever lie she spoon fed him.

"Don't play innocent Lois; you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"I don't have a clue and I don't like your tone or your accusation." She ran her fingers through her hair and scooted along the couch when he came closer.

"Tough!" he leaned over and placed his arms on either side of her body, effectively trapping her in "I heard your conversation with Oliver and I want to know what the hell is going on?"

"You were listening, you were spying on us?" She sounded truly offended, which just served to kick his anger up another notch. He'd been so pathetic, so grateful for whatever crumbs she threw his way, and she actually had the hide to be offended that he'd been listening and caught her out. When she tried to push him out of the way, he refused to budge and she ended up averting her face instead.

"Yes I was listening and no I wasn't spying. I came here to be with my GIRLFRIEND only to find her having an intimate conversation with her EX boyfriend." He grasped her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Sorry I didn't realise we were supposed to shun exes. So I'm guessing from now, you're going to ignore Lana, right?" She used both her hands to push his from her face but they both knew it was only because he allowed it that she succeeded. He let her push against him to stand up, only to crowd back into her space.

"She's different." he replied, folding his arms across his chest again.

"Of course she is, because she's YOUR ex. And I don't appreciate you listening in on my private conversations." She scooted around him and paced over to the window then turned to face him.

"If I hadn't listened, would you have told me?" He asked, hearing the sneer in his voice.

"Yes."

"Don't lie, I heard you Lois, I heard Oliver say he was going to tell me and you asked him why, so don't lie to me." He hated lying and he especially hated her lying to him.

"I'm not lying. I wanted to know why Oliver was going to tell you, I wasn't trying to stop him. I can't believe you. If you wanted to know so badly what was going on, you should have just joined us." She said lifting her chin in defiance.

"Why, so you could pretend like nothing was going on."

"Nothing was going on!"

"Don't give me that, I heard both of you."

"If you heard us, then you know nothing happened."

"What I KNOW, is that Oliver wants you back and you made sure to hedge your bets with him." He walked over and stood in front of her, placing his hands either side of the window trapping her in. He was going to make her admit the truth one way or another.

"What! Are you crazy?!" The shock in her voice was genuine but he was beyond reason by this point and honestly didn't hear it.

"No, but I'm thinking I have been. How many other men are you hedging your bets with Lois, how many other men are you keeping on a string?"

She stopped moving, stopped trying to get around him, instead she looked him straight in the eye "What exactly are you accusing me off? Spell it out Clark; you know I hate double talk."

"Fine! Just how many men _have_ you played this game with? Exactly how many men do you need to keep you happy, and how many men have you been screwing around with behind my back?" The moment the words were out of his mouth, his anger evaporated and remorse slid in. He'd gone too far and knew it.

"Get out!" Her eyes hardened, but he could see the tears she was determined not to shed well up.

"I…" God what he done?

"GET. OUT! And don't ever come back. We're through."

"I'm sorry I …."

"You just called me a slut and a liar and you think you can say you're sorry and everything's ok, just like that." She asked clicking her fingers "Well I'm sorry too Clark, I'm sorry I didn't save myself for you like your precious Lana did. If she's so special why don't you go running back to her? After all, the two of you were so admirable, so wonderful to saves yourselves for each other." She said swiping her hand across her eyes.

"I don't want Lana, I love…."

"I don't care, go and find someone else, just get out……we're through!"

"Lois..." He wanted to beg but knew that nothing could take away the hurt of what he'd said.

"Here's some advice you may want to keep in mind for the future. Before you get involved with a woman, you should use your x-ray vision and check to see if her hymen is still intact. Then you'll know from the get go, whether or not she's good enough and pure enough for you. Now get out of my apartment and get out of my life." She pushed him out of the way, walked into her bedroom and slammed the door.

God, what had he done? He could hear Lois crying; he wanted to go to her but knew he wouldn't be welcome.

He didn't want to go home; he knew if Oliver was there he'd make a mess of things with him too, so he flew around for a little while before going to Smallville.

He crept into the house, sat on the couch and cried. His mom found him there 15 minutes later. When she came down the stairs and saw him crying, her first thought was that Lois had broken up with him and all she wanted was to comfort her boy.

She sat down on the couch and picked up his hand. She'd no sooner touched him then he put his head on her shoulder, grabbed her to him and cried harder.

She rocked him and gently smoothed his hair back but when he hadn't stopped crying an hour later, she became frightened "Clark, honey, what's wrong, shhh, sweetie, you're going to make yourself sick. Can you tell me what happened; is it Lois? Has something happened to her?" He wasn't talking but at least his sobbing had ceased.

When he finally lifted his head, she read the devastation in his eyes and fear gripped her heart. She'd never seen this look on her son's face before and was scared "Is Lois alright honey, did something happen to her? Please Clark tell me what's wrong?"

"L…Lois….Lois and I broke up."

"Oh Clark, I'm so sorry, you both seemed so happy when you came here at Christmas. Are you sure, maybe you're just going through a rough patch."

"No, she told me to get out of her life. God mom I hurt her so bad. I was so jealous, so angry and I said things, did things that I know she'll never forgive me for." His tears started to fall again, but she was relieved that it wasn't with the same heart wrenching sobs he'd shed earlier.

"Let me make you some coffee, come on sweetie, come with me and tell me what happened?" She led him over to the kitchen island and pushed him down onto the stool.

While the water was boiling, he sat staring vacantly into space. He didn't even seem to realise that he was still in his Superman suit. Usually he changed out of it when it wasn't needed, but right now he didn't seem to be aware of his actions.

His eyes were red and tears would well up and slip down his cheeks but no sound came out of him at all.

"Here Clark, drink this. I've put extra sugar in and I don't want to hear anything about you not being human and not needing it. Just drink it ok?"

He nodded and sipped the coffee then quietly told her all that happened.

His mom had been shocked. She never knew her son could be so aggressive and hurtful and could only imagine how Lois was feeling. She wanted to berate him for both his behaviour and his words but at the moment nothing she said would get through. His own and Lois' condemnation were more than enough.

"I've lost her mom. She didn't do anything and I accused her, not only unjustly but I did it in such a way as to make her frightened of me. She's never given me cause to believe that she wanted to be with anyone else and now, after what I did and said she'll never take me back, never want anything to do with me again. I've lost her."

"I'm so sorry honey. Give her time, when she calms down she may listen to you."

"You didn't see her face. I heard her heart pounding but at the time I was just so angry and jealous that I thought she was lying. But she wasn't, she was scared, I'd scared her. God, she probably thinks I would have hurt her. I'd cut off my right arm before I'd ever hurt her but she won't believe that now, not after the way I acted."

"Lois knows you love her…"

"Does she, I wouldn't be surprised if she wants to get as far away from me as possible. She thinks I don't think she's good enough for me. I did this mom; I drove her to fear me, and to think she's not good enough." He rested his face in his hands and started to cry again.

Knowing that nothing she said would get through; she helped him up to bed and sat with him while he slept. His sleep was disturbed, he tossed and turned all night and when morning came, he opened his eyes and for the first time she saw both weariness and despair on his face. His eyes looked dead.

She had seen him unhappy, upset, angry she had seen him through any number of different emotions, before his life as Superman began and since but she had never seen this and was alarmed.

He just lay in bed, looking up at the ceiling.

"Clark, why don't you have a shower and get dressed? I'll make you some breakfast and …"

"No thanks mom. I just wanna be alone right now." He turned his head and the smile he tried to dredge up was so pathetic; it brought tears to her eyes.

"Ok, but please get up at least. I have to go into town and run a few errands. It's almost 10. I'll probably be a little while, would you like me to get you anything?"

"No, and mom if you see Lana, please don't tell her I'm here. I don't want to see her. I don't want to see anyone right now." He turned his head back to the ceiling and was once again in his own world.

"Ok" She crept from the room, had a shower and left.

He heard his mom leaving the house, and was glad to be alone again. He'd lied, he said he didn't want anyone but he did. He wanted Lois but she was the one person who would never come.

He rolled over and looked out the window, wondering how she was then let out a mirthless laugh, at least when he fucked up, he picked the right night. Neither of them had work for a couple of days, so he did one thing right at least. She could stay in her apartment and call him every name under the sun without having to worry about bosses and deadlines and seeing him. And he could stay holed up here and hide from the world.

He never realised just how possessive he could be, how hostile and aggressive. He'd seen the fear on her face and later the bruised look in her eyes when he said those hateful words. He'd said one of the most hurtful things a man could ever say to woman, and he'd said it to the woman he loved.

The worst part was, he now realised that when he and Lois made love the night Oliver came to his apartment, he'd subconsciously been competing with Oliver. He didn't know if she and Oliver had ever had sex, but he'd seen the look in her eyes when she saw Oliver, and that look of remembrance had burned. Love him or not, the chemistry between them was explosive, and he'd used it to try to wipe Oliver out of her mind, to make her aware that it could never be as good with anyone but him.

He had given her pleasure, that wasn't in doubt, but to now know that he'd made love to her over and over because of insecurity and concealed motives didn't make it right.

Ever since they began dating, from the very first time he'd touched Lois and anytime they had made love, it had been for one reason only, because he loved her. And although his basic reason hadn't changed, that particular night he'd made love to her not only because he loved her, but out of jealousy. He had unwittingly tried to bind her to him with sex, to hold onto and keep her, and no matter how beautiful or fulfilling it was; it had still been manipulation, pure and simple.

She'd never forgive him, never want him back and he couldn't blame her. He deserved everything she had said to him and more. He finally just closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.

When his mom came back a few hours later he was still in bed but awake, he hadn't been able to sleep, and he could see that his mom was worried but he just didn't have it in him to try and sooth her fears, he had nothing left to give.

She left him alone for most of the day but at dinner time refused to let him lie in bed a moment longer "Clark, I want you to get up. You need to get out of this room, have a shower and come downstairs to eat."

"I don't feel like it mom."

"I didn't ask if you felt like it, I told you to do it. Now please honey, get up."

He did but only because he knew Martha Kent. She could be very stubborn and would give him no peace until he did what she said.

He had a shower, dressed and went downstairs. His mom had certainly been busy, she'd opened the windows in his room and made his bed while he was showering; she knew him too well and knew he wouldn't be hurrying.

He ended up staying at the farm until early Monday afternoon, doing mindless chores and watching TV, without paying the slightest attention to what was going on in the world.

When he got home he found his message machine blinking and hoping it was Lois quickly pressed play but it was Oliver's voice he heard asking him to call.

He knew what Oliver wanted to talk to him about but wasn't sure if he was ready. He had hurt and frightened Lois and was now scared of his reaction if he saw Oliver.

Before he had time to decide what to do, there was a knock on his door and x-raying through it saw Oliver Queen.

He wasn't ready for this. He could feel his anger rise but tamped it down as much as possible. He was going to stay in control, no matter what.

"Oliver, what brings you here?" He decided to play dumb and see where the conversation went.

"Hi Clark, can I come in?"

"Sure, do you wanna drink?" He led Oliver over to the living area, gestured for him to take a seat on the couch and sat on the edge of the facing recliner.

"No thanks. Look Clark, I'm going to get right to the point."

"I haven't decided about the Justice League yet Ollie."

"No it's not about that, it's about Lois."

"What about her?"

"When I saw her other night, I knew that I never stopped loving her. I was jealous Clark, jealous of you and that you had her. I wanted to hate you but knew that I'd lost her all my own."

"And …"

"And I went to see her the next night."

"Why?"

"To tell her how I felt, to ask her to come back to me."

"You were trying to steal my girlfriend!" he gritted out.

"Yes"

"You're supposed to be my friend Oliver, Lois is with me and you tried to steal her, thanks FRIEND." No, he wasn't ready for this, he could feel his anger start to rise, so pushed up out of his seat and paced to the other side of the room.

"Look Clark, I'm not saying that what I did was right, but I did try and I had to tell you what I did. When I left Lois years ago, I knew I'd regret it but I thought that the bigger picture was worth it. I can't lie and say there haven't been other women since her, I haven't exactly lived like a monk and I swear I thought I was over her, but when I saw her again, I knew that I'd been lying to myself all along. I still love her." Oliver had risen and was standing on the opposite side of the room.

"And even though she was with me, even though she was my girlfriend it didn't stop you did it? You're supposed to be a good guy Oliver, you're supposed to be my friend, some friend you turned out to be!" He turned away and his eye fell on a picture of Lois and himself that his mom had taken at Christmas.

"Clark, forgive me but didn't you do the same thing yourself? I mean you did chase after your ex girlfriend when she was engaged to someone else, right? You kidnapped her from her engagement party. So as I said before; I may not have done the right thing but you did it too Clark."

"I was younger then Ollie."

"Yeah you were, but you were still old enough to know right from wrong." Oliver pointed out.

"I was trying to save her from Lex." he replied weakly.

"Were you, or were you just trying to get her back? I don't doubt that you wanted to save her from Lex, but don't lie to me or yourself. You wanted to save her for you. You wanted her back and tried to steal her from her fiancé."

"Shit! Look your right but I still don't appreciate you trying to steal Lois. Lex and I weren't friends, you and I are."

"But you were friends, best friends at one time. I know you had your differences but it was the girl that put the final nail in the coffin of your friendship. Am I right?"

"Yes. Look I was wrong Ollie, I was young and foolish and what I did was WRONG!" Everything Oliver said was right and he hated it.

"I know and I've admitted that I was wrong too Clark. I'm not proud of myself for it but I did try and I had to tell you what I did."

"Let me ask you this, if Lois came to you now, would you take her back regardless of our friendship?" Oliver had been right so far but he wouldn't be able to talk his way out of this.

"Let me ask you; are you in love with her?" Oliver replied.

"Yes. I have been since I first came back and saw her, she knows and isn't in love with me but she did care about me and we were happy together." He hoped Oliver didn't notice or pick up on his use of past tense.

"Ok, knowing how you feel about her, if she was with me and if she came to you, would you take her back, regardless of our friendship?"

"Fuck!! Yes ok. You know I really hate you Ollie."

"Why, because I've made you face a part of yourself you didn't want to have to deal with? You're only human Clark; humans fuck up and make mistakes." Oliver smiled slightly.

"I'm not human remember?"

"Yes you are. You weren't born on this planet and you have special powers but in all the essentials you are human. I don't think of you as an alien, I think of you as Clark Kent, my friend. I don't care where you come from, I'm just glad you're here."

"Even though I have Lois?"

"Well, I hate you for that part but yes, even though you have Lois, I'm glad you're here Clark. The world needs someone like you."

"Thanks Ollie and I'm sorry for…. you know."

"I know, and don't be sorry, you had every right to be angry, and I imagine if I had stolen Lois you probably would have killed me. But I do consider you a friend Clark, a good friend. One that I'm jealous as hell off, once upon a time I was jealous of your powers, now I'd take the girl and leave you with the powers."

"Yeah, and you're still my friend Ollie, I was angry, but I have to admit that if I was in your shoes I'd have done the same thing."

When Oliver put his hand out, he shook it.

"Thanks Clark, look after her and love her enough for both of us, ok." Oliver replied giving a faint smile before heading towards the door.

"I will." He smiled back, nodded his head and closed the door.

Well that conversation hadn't turned out like he expected. He thought he'd be able to shame Oliver and throw his friendship back in his face, but he was the one who was shamed.

He HAD done the same thing. Hell he'd done worse. Lana was engaged and thought she was pregnant with Lex's baby and he'd still pursued her. And as Ollie pointed out, he'd been young but he was old enough to know that what he was doing was wrong; he just hadn't cared. At that time in his life, what HE wanted was all that mattered. Everyone, himself included had considered him a good guy, but in truth there were times he'd been a selfish fucking idiot. Lana was one of those times, hell Lana had been a lot of those times.

Thank god, he'd listened when Oliver wanted to talk to him, instead of just throwing him through the door as he first wanted to do.

He paced over to the bookshelf and picked up the picture he saw earlier. He remembered this moment, it was a few days before Christmas, his mom had been upstairs taking a nap and he and Lois were in the living room watching TV. He'd been sitting on the couch, she had been snuggled into him, half lying across him, with her head on his chest, one hand tucked under her cheek and the other entwined with one of his.

He had one arm wrapped around her waist holding her hand, while his other hand was running lazily up and down her arm. She'd said something funny and he'd tilted his head down to smile at her, she'd tilted her head back to smile up at him and that was the moment his mom had captured. She had come down the stairs, seen them and used the camera on her phone to take a couple of quick pictures before they even realised they had an audience.

He thought it was funny that he could see and hear everything going on around him, better than anyone or anything in the world but when he was with Lois, sometimes everything but her vanished from his senses, and this had been one of those times.

His mom had given him the photo, framed in the brass case as an extra Christmas present. He'd been surprised when he saw it, he knew that she'd seen them but he didn't know that she'd taken their picture and was so pleased that the moment had been captured. It turned out to be his favourite gift; Lois had smiled and although she'd turned slightly pink, she'd also loved it.

He had to talk to her but he was scared. Would she want to see him, would she want to talk to him and after all he'd said and done, would she ever want to be with him again?

Lois wasn't a pushover, she could hold her own in most any situation but they both knew that if he ever tried to hurt her, she could never hold him off. And after his behaviour the other night, she probably thought he was a deranged mad man that she'd had a lucky escape from.

He wanted to give her time, he wanted to go and beg her forgiveness. He didn't know if Chloe was privy to what had happened but suspected that if she knew, she would already have tracked him down and hit him with a fist full of Kryptonite.

In the end he spun into his suit and decided to fly over, check on her and see if she was alright. He found her sitting in her living room, typing on her laptop and eating ice cream. She called it a girl's best friend, and ate it any time she wanted to cheer herself up or give herself comfort. He smiled sadly seeing that he'd driven her to eating the stuff straight out of the carton.

Her window was closed; she was obviously making sure that he knew that he wasn't welcome. He started to fly away but decided to go and see her, he had to try and make this right, even if he lost her as his girlfriend he couldn't bear to loose from his life completely.

He knocked on her door, heard her getting up and knew she was checking the peep hole to see who was there. He didn't know if she'd open the door or not, but held his breath waiting.

He heard her heart pick up, her breathing deepen and didn't know if it was because she was scared of him, or because he was there and she just wasn't ready to see him. He held his breath, hoping and waiting patiently but didn't knock a second time. He'd barged into her apartment the other night and he wanted her to know that this time, it was ONLY at her invitation that he'd step a foot inside. It was a good seven minutes before she opened the door. Lois didn't say anything, just looked at him and he knew that it was up to him to start.

"Hi."

She just continued to look at him.

"Can I come in?"

"No."

"Please, I need to talk to you. God I'm so sorry. Please just let me talk, try to explain."

"I don't want your explanations or anything else. All I want is your absence from my life." She said quietly before she began to close the door.

"Please Lois." He'd beg, if that was what it took; he'd get down on his knees and beg.

She must have seen the desperation on his face because she pulled the door open again and gestured for him to enter "I'm surprised you bothered to knock or didn't just throw me aside when I said you couldn't come in."

"I know after the way I behaved that you won't believe me, but I would never do that. Can I sit down?" When she waved a hand at the couch he sat. He noticed that she perched on the chair farthest away from him and although she tried to pretend that she wasn't looking in his direction, she was watching him very closely. He hurt knowing that he'd scared her so much that she was trying to keep as much distance from him as she could, while keeping a close eye on him at the same time in case he made any sudden moves. He could only hope that what he said now; would be enough to help start the healing process and ease some of the hurt, anger and fear she was so desperately trying to hide.

"I…I'm sorry, when I saw Oliver here the other night, when I thought that you and he …"

"You're a hypocrite." She cut in smoothly "You accused me of screwing around with other guys, well I'd say that you're one up on me, at least all the guys I've been involved with have been single. So let's trade confidences shall we. We never have talked about this. So c'mon, let's dish the dirt Clark, just how many times DID you screw Lana when she was with Lex?" she leant forward, balanced her elbow on her knee, let her cheek rest in her hand and raised one eyebrow as if ready to enjoy a good gossip session.

"I didn't. I swear Lois, I didn't. I chased her when she was with Lex, when she was engaged to Lex but I didn't ever sleep with her. I've only ever been with Lana once when I was 18 and no one else until you." God this was going to be so much worse then he thought. She was so angry, he could see it in her eyes, there was hurt, but there was also a burning anger that he knew he deserved.

"Oh, why not; wouldn't she have you? Poor Clark, didn't Lana realise that she was the Barbie to your Ken, how sad. Was she trying to keep herself pure, silly question, of course she was; she's Lana, bit of a prick tease; but still, the purest of the pure." Lois smilingly mocked and leant back in her chair "And of course the fact that she was engaged to someone else, no matter who he was, didn't stop you. But you weren't doing anything wrong, no indeed, chasing after someone else's pregnant fiancé is really very _**honourable**_!!" she bit out in contempt.

"You're right; Oliver already pointed out what a hypocrite I was. I'm sorry Lois; I'm so goddamn sorry for what I said, what I did. I'm sorrier than you'll ever know. When Oliver came to my apartment the other night, I saw the two of you look at each other and I started to get jealous. But then I thought that you hadn't seen each other for years, so of course you'd be surprised and pleased to see each other, and I was just glad that your relationship didn't work out so that we could be together." He paused, looked away, then back into her face "But when I came here the other night, when I heard him, I stayed outside and listened, then stormed in here and acted like some jealous wronged lover and I'm so sorry. It was stupid but all I could think was that I was going to lose you to him. I was scared; I've never been so scared in my life. If I lost you, I…." He had to stop. He could feel the tears starting to clog his throat.

When he looked on the mantel he noticed that all the pictures that included him in them were gone. All the group photos or ones with just the two of them had been removed.

He watched as Lois rose, walked over to her kitchen table and scratched through a jumble of documents lying on it. She picked a couple of pages up, gave them a quick perusal, came back and handed them to him "Here!"

He rose to his feet at her approach "What is it?" He wouldn't take the papers she held out to him. He didn't know why, he just knew that whatever was on them wasn't something that he wanted to see.

"It's something I wrote for you, a little light reading that you should enjoy. You wanted to know, so take it and read it." She said, picking up his hand and folding his fingers over it.

When she let go, he was left holding the papers but he wouldn't look at them "What's it about?"

"It's a list of all my ex boyfriends and any casual dates I've ever had. All the boys and men I've ever gone out with and exactly what I did with each of them. And yes, before you ask, I've had sex with more than one. I even coded it for you so you have a quick reference to the ones which were really good. I've put special notations next them so you don't have to worry that you're going to miss out on anything. I didn't include you but figured that wouldn't be necessary, after all you know everything we've done." She walked back into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of wine. His heart ached at seeing her trying to be so casual but he could hear her heart pounding furiously and saw that her hand was shaking.

During her speech, he could only shake his head "I don't want this."

"Why not, you wanted to know and it will give you all the proof you need to reassure yourself that you managed to escape from your slut ex girlfriend." She replied blandly, taking a sip of her wine before putting the glass back down. She tried show that she was unaffected by the conversation but her eyes were anything but calm.

"Lois, I promise, I've never thought that of you, not for one minute. I was just so black with jealousy and fear that I couldn't see straight. But I swear I never thought you weren't good enough for me. I think you're too good for me." He replied before tearing up the paper, tossing it into an ashtray and setting it on fire until there was nothing left.

"Oh I see; trying to use reverse psychology are we? In anger you say what you really believe but now that you're calm, you say what you _think_ I want to hear. Why? Are you hoping I'll be so grateful to you for lowering yourself to touch a whore; that I'll fall on my back in gratitude?" her voice betrayed her by cracking and she swung around presenting him with her back.

"NO!! God, I'm so sorry, Lois, I'm so so sorry, I was a bastard, fuck, I was an asshole, but I swear I didn't mean it, I never thought you were a tramp, never." He walked over to her and put his hand on her shoulder. He tried to turn her around but she resisted and he wouldn't make her, especially after his previous visit and the fright he'd given her.

Tears started to fall down his face and when she could hold it in no longer, he heard the gut wrenching sobs that were torn from her throat.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind and slightly rocked her back and forth; he wouldn't let her go even when she tried to pull away. He was now crying as hard as she was and knowing that he'd done this, that he'd reduced her to this, he hated himself. He continued to mutter apologies into her hair, apologising over and over for everything he'd said and done.

She didn't answer just continued to cry. When she grew quiet, he turned her around and wrapped his arms around her.

His voice was hoarse from crying but he couldn't let her go, couldn't give up "I'm sorry baby, I'm so so sorry. Please forgive me Lo. Take me back. Please give me another chance."

She shook her head against his chest and said quietly "It wouldn't work, Oliver was just an excuse, my past obviously matters to you. Who I've been with, what I've done, it will just come up again and again."

"It won't. I don't care baby, I promise you, I don't care, I'm just thankful that you took a chance on me. I love you Lo, you made me happier than I ever knew was possible, we were happy together, please take me back." He kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek against it, hugging her tighter.

"I don't know. What if this happens again? I'm scared; I thought I could trust you, but...." she raised her face and he could see the doubt and lingering hurt in her eyes.

"You can, please Lo, give me….give us another chance." When he bent to kiss her, she moved her face to the side and he let her go.

"Don't." She quickly swiped her hands over her cheeks, retreated to the kitchen grabbed some tissues, blew her nose then turned to face him.

"I'm sorry, I just…I miss you Lo; miss talking to you, spending time with you, being with you. The past few days have been hell; not only because of what I did, but knowing that I'd hurt you so badly. From the moment I said those awful words…no from the moment I started our argument, I've hated myself."

When he saw her face, he was angry again but this time at himself. Lois was one of the strongest women he knew, and seeing what he'd done to her, what his words had done made him hate himself more. She was everything to him and with his words, with his actions; he'd made her feel like nothing. He couldn't help but dwell on the truth, that trust which was so hard to build, was so easy to destroy.

That night they got very little sleep, talking until the early hours and finally drifted off, lying on her bed, fully clothed with their arms wrapped around each other.

Clark finished speaking, he had left out the most intimate moments only sharing what was necessary. He looked over at Chloe and saw a look of sorrow on her face.

"She never told me."

"No, Lois and I are the only ones who know the whole story, mom knows most of it and now you do too. You were out of town on assignment, if you had been here I think she would have called you, but by the time you came back it was over and she just wanted to move past it."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I'd hurt her enough Chlo, I wasn't going to say anything to you or anyone else that could have hurt her even more, I respected her privacy on the matter. Mom knew because I came here that first night, but if she hadn't found me I wouldn't have told her either."

"I want to slap you for what you said and did."

"You can if you want to, free shot." He said without a trace of humour "Lois forgave me but I'll never forgive myself, not only for what I said but for purposely scaring her that way."

"How _did_ you get past it?"

"You know the pendant she wears sometimes?" At Chloe's nod, he asked "What's Lois told you about it?"

"Nothing, I admired it because it was so pretty and unusual but when I asked her about it, she just said you gave it to her."

"Yeah, I had the pendant made for her; mom picked up the rock and dropped it off at the jeweller for me. The chain is gold but the pendant itself made of lead, I had to pick the right kind so it wouldn't be too heavy for a necklace and I had to pay a lot for it but it was worth it. I gave it to Lois because I don't ever want her to be afraid of me and I told her that if she ever was, all she had to do was push the button on the side and it would open. It's spring loaded, so she doesn't have to fuss with catches or anything else. Inside is green Kryptonite."

"My god Clark, what did Lois say?"

"She didn't want it, she told me that she knew I'd never hurt her physically and tried to give it back but I couldn't stand to remember the fear in her face, the fear that I'd put there and I told her that I wanted her to wear it."

"Shit, you think you're capable ….."

"NO! Chloe, I'd never ever do anything to hurt her, NEVER. But you didn't see her face; you didn't see what I'd reduced her too. She'd never been scared of me before, I'd never given her reason to be, but that night I saw the realisation hit her that if I _wanted_ to hurt her, there was nothing she could do to stop it. I just wanted her to know that she could stop me, to have some security."

"And she accepted it, just like that?"

"No, I had to talk her round and in the end had to point out that she knows how to protect herself in a fight and can use pretty much any firearm if need be, this was just another form of protection that I wanted her to have. She hates it Chlo, she purposely forgets to put it on, or conveniently misplaces it, but I make her wear it because I don't ever want to see that look in her eyes again."

Chloe nodded in understanding. She'd never known that Clark could be so ruthless, but he loved Lois, hell he flat out adored her, so she could imagine losing her would be the one thing he feared most of all and as a result, behave in a way that was completely outside of his character.

"Please don't tell Lois that you know Chlo, I don't think she wants anyone to know about it."

"I won't and Oliver, are you two really friends?"

"Yeah, Oliver was right, everything he said was right. I had done the same thing years ago with Lana, hell I'd actually done worse. I'm not saying that if he had stolen Lois we'd be friends; that'd be impossible. But he was right, if the situation was reversed, if she was his and came to me, I wouldn't have let our friendship stand in the way of taking her. I guess in a way I am kind of screwed up huh?"

"Yeah, but you know we all have our dark sides Clark, and as hard as it must have been to admit you would have done the same thing, it's easier to live with the truth than to live with a lie."

"Lois says the same thing."

"I know, where do you think I got it from." She smiled "But I'm glad that you and Oliver are still friends."

"We are. He's never said anything to her again about his feelings since that night. He's come to our apartment and I've had to leave for Superman duties and he's stayed behind, but he's never done or said anything that made me think I couldn't trust him with Lois."

"You weren't…I don't know, apprehensive of leaving them alone?" Chloe asked doubtfully.

"No, my trust in Lois is without question, It always has been, but after that night I promised myself that I'd never give her reason to believe that I don't trust her ever again. And I trust Oliver, if I didn't I couldn't work with him. He knows Kryptonite can kill me; we've been in situations when it's just been the two of us and Kryptonite was around. He could easily have used it to either hurt or kill me if he wanted to but he never has. There's been a couple of times when I've been down, unable to move, unable to do anything and he's either dragged me away or carried me over his back to get me away from the stuff and then he's taken me home to Lo."

"And what she said about you and Lana, I mean you must have discussed it."

"We did, she had a lot more to say about our behaviour and it wasn't easy hearing it but she was right. Lana and I were two very selfish kids who only cared about what we wanted and…."

"Not always Clark. Yeah ok, when it came to Lana you could be pretty one eyed but you did care about other things too."

"I cared about people being hurt, I cared about people doing the wrong thing, I hated that but I was a hypocrite Chlo. I'd preach to others about doing the right thing, then turn right around and chase after an ex girlfriend, who was engaged and I believed pregnant with someone else's baby. Let's face it, my actions were _**dishonourable.**_" He replied with a look of distaste for his actions years earlier.

She couldn't gainsay him because as hard as it was, he was right "But is Lois really ok with it? I mean Lana's been alone with you at your apartment when Lois hasn't been there, and when we come here it doesn't appear as if there's any tension between the three of you but ….."

"I know what you're trying to say and yes, Lois and I are fine. She knows that I love her and that I have zero interest in Lana or any other woman, so she's not worried. In fact, she's so not worried that once when Lana had something in her eye, I was trying to get it out when Lois came in and she didn't so much as blink. I started to quickly stammer out excuses but Lois just laughed and told me not to be an idiot" he smiled ruefully "After Lana left, I started to reassure her that nothing had been going on, when she told me she never thought there was. When I asked her why, she said she said she knows what I look like when I'm ah….ahem…. you know and that I definitely didn't have that look on my face." He could feel the heat rise to his face and smiled when Chloe started chuckling.

"I'm sorry, I just get this mental picture of you fussing around, muttering profuse apologies, scared that Lois was going to clock you one." Chloe replied between fits of laughter.

"The woman scares the hell out of me." He laughed rubbing his neck "We've talked about how Lana and I acted when we were younger. I can't change what I did, I would if I could but I can't. Anyway I asked Lois if she was ok with everything and you know Lo, she gives you the truth whether you like it or not. She said she can't condone how Lana and I behaved, but it was in the past and we need to leave it there. However, she told me that if I ever tried that shit with her; chase after someone else, that being Superman won't save me from her wrath. And that's a direct quote." He laughed.

"What did you say?" Chloe smiled

"I told her there was no way in hell that was ever going to happen. That I was more scared of her than of Kryptonite, to which she replied, that I was to make sure it stayed that way."

The two of them laughed. They both knew he wouldn't do anything, not because he was afraid Lois would try to hurt him physically but she would leave him and that was the one thing he'd do anything in his power to prevent and the one thing that scared him more than anything.

"I'm glad everything worked out Clark and I won't say anything to Lois, I promise." Chloe reached over and squeezed his hand.

"Thanks."

"So where is her necklace, I haven't seen her wear it."

"She accidentally on purpose forgot to put it on when we left Metropolis. I flew back the first night and got it but since she woke up the first morning, she's been the younger Lois, so I'm keeping it until Joanne comes back."

Chloe nodded in understanding.

This was one memory that he hated and one that if he could wipe out of existence, he would.

"Chlo if she doesn't go back…"

"She will."

"But if she doesn't, do you think she'll get in touch with Oliver?"

"I don't know, I think she'll want to know how he is, if he's free but I don't know. Are you worried she'll find out how he feels and go to him?"

"Yeah, I'm scared Chlo, god I'm scared about everything. If she goes back remembering or if she doesn't go back at all."

"None of that's going to happen. What is going to happen is Lois is going to go back without any memory, Joanne will return and the two of will have your engagement party and everything will be the way it's supposed to be."

"You think!"

"No, I know. Clark I've never seen a couple who were meant to be together as much as you and Lois. I think you're like cockroaches, you know how they say cockroaches will survive a nuclear blast, that's you and Lo."

"You think we're cockroaches!" He asked with a surprised burst of laughter.

"It was a metaphor" she laughed and hit him "I was trying to say that you two will always be together, that you can survive anything."

"So Lois is my own personal cockroach huh, I'll have to tell her you said that when she comes back." He mock threatened.

"You dare! Besides you're her personal cockroach too." She said setting them both off laughing.

"Couldn't you think of anything nicer?"

"Not on the spur of the moment, no, I'll have to think about it and get back to you."

"Thanks Chlo, I mean that, you're our best friend you know. Lo and I couldn't do without you."

"Good because I don't plan on going anywhere. Now how about coming back to the house?"

"I will…damn ok, I will as soon as I get back." He spun into his Superman suit and shot out the window.


	16. Chapter 16

If people are interested in reading this story please let me know as I'd like to hear back if you're enjoying it, but I don't want to continue posting it, if the interest just isn't there.

Thank you

Linda

**

**Chapter 16**

"Good morning everyone, sorry I slept so late."

"That's ok honey, would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes please I'm starving."

"How do you feel this morning Lo?"

"Wiped out, I'm really tired, I might just go back to bed after I eat, that's if I make through breakfast at all." She smiled sleepily and joined Chloe at the table.

"Well hopefully eating breakfast will wake you up some." Chloe said pouring both herself and Lois a cup of coffee. She lifted the pot to Martha who nodded in approval.

"Yeah actually maybe I just need a run; I haven't had one for the last two days." Lois said taking a sip of her coffee. "Where's Clark?" She felt bad for calling him Ollie but thought if she mentioned it; it would just make everyone uncomfortable.

"He got a Superman call but he'll be back soon."

"Ok, oh thanks Mrs Kent…sorry Martha." she amended quickly.

"You're welcome honey, Chloe how about we have an early morning tea with our coffee. I made an orange poppy seed cake yesterday, what'd you think?" Martha asked cheerfully.

"Yes please."

"So what have you all been doing this morning?" Lois asked interested.

"Cooking and getting some more dishes prepared for cooking." Chloe replied with a smile before beginning to cut the cake that was placed on the table.

"Ah well I wouldn't have been much help in that department. So…." Lois trailed off as Clark swept into the room, and once again she felt uncomfortable. She'd called him Ollie; he'd now know that no matter what she showed in public, she was still hurting. She hated feeling so exposed.

"How are you feeling today Lo?' Clark asked taking a seat beside her.

"I'm good, a little tired but otherwise good."

"I'm glad, thanks mom" he said in response to receiving coffee and nodded at Chloe for a slice of cake. "Lo did you want to go to Metropolis today to check out the stores for decorations?"

"Would you mind if we left it until tomorrow, I'm still kind of tired, so not really in the mood to tramp around the shops." She said apologetically.

"That's ok."

"So…um can I ask what happened last night, I remember feeling really weird but that's pretty much all?"

"You don't remember anything else?" Clark asked sharing a quick look with his mom and Chloe.

"Not really, I felt weird and then….oh god, did I go back, I went back didn't I; but for some reason I came back here. Chlo is that what happened?"

"We don't know what happened Lo, it's….." Chloe trailed and looked at Clark asking him silently if he wanted to tell her or if she should. At his quick head shake she blew out her breath. She would have done it if she had to, but was glad that Clark had decided to field this particular line of questioning.

"Lo last night, do you remember saying that you felt Joanne leaving you?" Clark took her hand and turned to face her.

"Leaving me…I …yes, why?" Lois ran a hand through her hair, she had a feeling she knew what was coming and had to resist the urge to tug her hand free to cover her ears.

"Well last night, you …I mean Joanne, died." He said quietly.

"Joanne's dead?"

"No she came back."

"How do you know?"

"Because you're here, just before Joanne died, she spoke to us and you were gone, we think you went back to where you belong, but a few minutes later you came back so we know Joanne's still alive."

"I died! That's what you're saying right? I call her Joanne but I don't have a split personality, Joanne IS me, she's just the older me, so you're saying that I died, aren't you?"

"Yes, but you're alright Lo, she…you came back."

"But you all said that 8 years ago nothing happened, that I was in the Medical Centre unconscious but otherwise nothing happened. So if I died, shouldn't something have happened there?"

Clark and Chloe shared their findings and discussion of the night before. Lois listened quietly and when they were finished, she rubbed her hands over her face before glancing at the faces surrounding her. "Ok, so I'll hopefully go back, and in 8 years time I'll be back here again and more than likely I'll die. I only have 8 years left to live." she summarised.

"Lo, you're not going to die."

"You don't know that. You only know what happened at that end, that I was in the Medical Centre and that I woke up, but no one knows what happened here."

"No we don't, but none of us are going to let anything happen to you."

"It doesn't sound like you can stop it. Apparently whoever wants me dead can do it by remote control. The cowards don't even have to confront me, they're completely gutless so they do it from a distance, ensuring to keep their hands clean but the end result's the same, I'm dead." She said pushing back her seat and pacing over to the kitchen window.

"NO! I'm not going to let that happen, none of us are." Clark said getting up and following her. He put his hand out to turn her around but let it rest on her shoulder instead. He wanted to hold her so badly, she was scared and when Lois was scared she got angry. He just wanted to hold her and let her know that she was going to be alright.

"God I no longer feel like Alice in weirdo land, now I'm living on Elm Street and someone's playing Freddie Kreuger with my life while I'm unconscious back in the Medical Centre. This is some great future I've got, dead at 28."

"Lois we're going to stop them, we're going to find out who's doing this and stop them, I promise." Clark said quietly.

"Yeah thanks…look I'm just going for a drive, I'll be back later ok?" she said heading for the door.

"Lo, let one of us go with you."

"Why?" she stopped with her hand on the door knob.

"Because we'd feel better if you weren't by yourself."

"You just said that whoever's after me can kill me by ESP or something, so it won't make any difference if I'm alone or not."

"Please dear, let one of us go with you." Martha quietly pleaded.

She lifted her hands and wiped her cheeks, before turning around. They knew she'd been crying but to hell with it, they saw her die last night, so tears were nothing. She quickly glanced at everyone but hated the compassionate looks on their faces and shrugged. "Ok, you can decide who comes; I'm just going upstairs to get my jacket and purse."

***

"So who's going" Chloe asked quietly.

"Clark why don't you go with Lois honey." Martha rose to her feet and hugged her son. He still hadn't recovered himself from losing Lois the previous night, and to have to tell her that she died had taken a toll on him. His eyes held a mixture of sadness and lurking fear; that she could still be taken from him.

"I want to mom, but I don't know if she'll want me around." he said in a low tone.

"Honey, I think you're the best one, if anything happens you'll be there with her." She led him back to the table and retook her seat.

"But what if I'm called away by the bastard that's doing this? What if he wants to talk to me and I have to leave just so he doesn't hurt her again."

Chloe grabbed his hand in a show of solidarity. "Martha, why don't you go with her. Normally if Lois wants to talk about something, she'll turn to Clark first, then me but this Lois would probably respond best to you, you'll be able to get her to open up better and easier than Clark or I can."

"Chloe's right mom, you go. I'll be listening. I promise not to listen to your conversation, but if anything happens call me and I'll be there."

"Alright honey and you don't have to tell me you won't listen in because I already know that." She got up to grab her jacket and purse then sat down again to wait for Lois.

"I feel so sorry for her. There's nothing we can say to make this easier because as she pointed out, we don't know what happened on this end" Chloe said sadly.

"She's only 20 and thinks her life's over. I just wanted to hold her close and cry when she said implied that it makes no difference if she goes back or not, because she's going to die in 8 years anyway." Martha nodded.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to her, I can't" Clark said firmly.

"I know, honey" she grabbed Clark and Chloe's hands and they all nodded their heads in silent accord to find out who was doing this and stop them.

***

The occupants of the car were quiet. Martha didn't talk, she didn't want Lois to feel pressured to open up, so gave her the respect of privacy but when or if Lois wanted to talk, she'd be ready.

Lois pulled into the parking lot beside the town park and laid her head on the steering wheel before getting out and walking over to sit on a bench. She reached into her purse, pulled out her cigarettes and lit one before speaking.

"Well this is some great future I've got huh, I'm engaged to someone I don't love, the same someone that I constantly hear yammering on about someone else, and now I'm going to die, all this before I'm 30. Wow don't I feel special." Lois lightly mocked.

"Honey it's going to be alright."

"I'm scared."

"I know but let me tell you a little bit about your life. I know you think that you and Clark, sorry Joanne and Clark settled for each other and will regret getting married, but Lois you and Clark didn't settle you love each other very much."

"How is that even possible? Right now I don't have even the faintest of romantic feeling toward him and I know that if he was here, the Clark from my time would say the same thing."

"Yes he would, but the two of you haven't grown up yet. I know you think you have, but you both still have a long way to go."

"The Clark I know has one thing on his mind and one thing only."

"Lana."

"Lana, and to be honest I find his dog like devotion to her annoying as hell. I'm not saying that because I'm jealous, he's just such a pain in the ass about it, I'm sorry but he is." Lois shrugged.

"Well he's my son and I love him, but yes I can see what you mean." Martha smiled.

"You can?"

"Of course, Remember when all this was going on I wasn't a teenager. I already had an adult's perspective, so I knew that all of his talk about Lana was nothing more than what any other teenager was going through. However, because of his heritage he was scared that he'd end up alone, so he fixated on Lana and convinced himself that he loved her. He did finally realise it wasn't love, but yes he was painful before he faced the truth." Martha said smiling at Lois.

"How do you know that he's not just doing the same thing again?" Lois asked perplexed.

"Clark's told you about his and Joanne's relationship."

"Yeah, he's told me a bit."

"Did you know that when Joanne told him she didn't love him, he convinced her to stay with him anyway?"

"So he said, but that could just be because once again he was afraid he was going to end up alone."

"No, it was because he loved Joanne and was willing to take whatever she gave. He could have walked away and found someone else, but he only wanted Joanne."

"No offence Mrs Kent, but he did the same thing with Lana."

"No he really didn't. With Lana he wanted her to fall for him, to meet him half way in his feelings and when she did, it still wasn't enough to make him happy for long because although he didn't realise it at the time, Lana wasn't what he really wanted. He just wanted _**someone**_ and latched onto Lana. But with Joanne, even when she didn't love him, I've never seen him so happy. He honestly had no expectations that she'd ever fall in love him, he might have hoped, but he didn't let that stop him from being happy that she was with him and cared about him, it was enough because she was the woman he was meant to be with."

"How did you feel about that? I can't imagine that you were happy knowing that your son could find himself dumped at any time."

"I worried about both of you. I told him he should let Joanne go and maybe she'd come back to him, but he wouldn't listen and when they came here for Christmas I could see how happy they both were. She wasn't in love with him, but I would never have known that if Clark hadn't told me."

"I'm sorry but I just can't imagine Clark and I together, not at all"

"I know but please don't close yourself off to the possibility. Chloe and I love both of you; we would never pretend that the two of you were happy if you weren't. We want you both to be happy, not just Clark."

"I know."

"Why don't you get Clark to take you to your apartment, you can see for yourself."

"It will make it too real."

"You don't want it to be real, to accept it?

"No, you can call me a coward if you want because I am, but I don't want to. For me it hasn't been long since Ollie left and he's the one I want."

"Ok, but just think about what I said. Chloe and I really do have both your best interests at heart, not just Clark's."

"I know that, I really do, but now instead of not just wanting to think about Clark and Joanne, I also have some nutcase who wants me dead."

"Oh sweetie, we're not going to let anything happen to you."

"But if someone wants me dead, no one can stop it, can they?"

"I'm still holding onto you being ok 8 years ago."

"I know but we don't know what went on this end, do we?"

"No, but Clark, Chloe and I aren't going to let you go without a fight; and that's a promise."

"Thank you." Lois paused and took a deep breath. "But if anything happens to me, I've left a letter, can you see it gets delivered and I want to be cremated; can you make sure that happens."

"Lois you're not going to die."

"Please can you just make sure?"

"Ok honey ok." Martha said pulling Lois into a hug.

"Thank you."

***

Chloe was cooking and Clark was helping when Lana arrived. "Good morning, mind if I come in?" She asked after giving a quick knock and opening the door a few inches.

"Morning Lana, come on in, would you like some coffee?"

"That'd be great thanks." She walked over and patted Clark on the arm. "How's Lois, and how are you doing?" She asked smiling and nodding her thanks when Chloe handed her the cup.

"Three times." Clark smiled, causing Lana to look at him in confusion at the grin Chloe shot him.

"Sorry what'd I miss?"

"Nothing, sorry Lana, it's just that mom and Chloe both asked me how I was and now you did too. I'm fine and Lois is good, mom and Lo have gone for a drive, but I've been keeping an ear on her and she's fine." Clark said gesturing her to take a seat at the table where he joined her.

"Um can I ask; does Lois know what happened to her older self last night?"

"Joanne." Clark and Chloe said in unison then looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Excuse me."

"Sorry, Lois calls her older self Joanne."

"Why?"

"She said it was easier than saying 'her older self' but I think it was to totally separate her two selves. The Lois who's 20 and the Lois who's 28." Chloe remarked turning the stove off and joining them.

"Makes sense." Lana giggled then laughed and the other two joined in.

When the laughter died down Chloe filled Lana in on the previous night's discussion, and Clark followed it up with his morning activities. Lana listened quietly to all that was said then nodded her head. "It makes sense, Superman wasn't around eight years ago, and Lois didn't have any enemies that had any reason to do this. That's why we couldn't find anything. Back then we didn't know she was in the future, so we were only looking for what could have affected her at the time, you know what I mean?"

"Yeah."

"But now that you've come up with this theory, Lex could be involved. Eight years ago when you asked him Clark he said he wasn't, but he couldn't know what his future self was doing."

"I know, but …."

"Think about it. None of us knew what was going on but Lex could have done it, he hates Superman, and Lois hasn't exactly been overly kind when she's written about him."

"I know and I'll check it out but I don't think Lex is involved. He's tried to stop Superman in the past and I don't think he'll ever give up, but when he's come at Superman he hasn't tried to do it through anyone else. Lex has caused problems and accidents and he knows that having a go at Superman will tick me off but I won't do anything to hurt him. But Lex will always look out for himself first and he's smart enough to know that if he ever tried to get at Superman through Lois, all bets would be off."

"Ok, but check it out anyway." Lana urged.

"I will." He nodded and smiled "Well, I'm just going to go outside and find something to do." Clark said pushing up from the table.

"I'll come with you, unless you need my help Chlo." Lana offered with a smile.

"No that's fine, thanks Lana. Keep him company will you, the last thing we need is a hang-dog Superman around the house." She said with a smile and push to Clarks arm.

"I'm fine Chlo; I just hate this whole mess and wish it was over."

"It will be soon, we're not giving up, but we can't do anything until we know who's behind it and we will find out, but Lois is going to be alright Clark, I promise."

"Thanks Chloe. Umm question, if Lo doesn't go back, she'll probably kick me to the curb, maybe you could do with a super boyfriend around the house?" he gave her his best puppy eyes, but she was totally immune.

"You wish buster, I'll have you know that my taste has improved with age." She replied snottily.

"Are you saying that Lo's taste has declined? I'm gonna tell her you said that, along with calling us cockroaches." he grinned.

"You're just a big tattle tale aren't you?"

They smiled at each other and he hugged her tight before letting go. "Thanks Chlo." He said kissing her on the cheek.

"Yeah, yeah, get out of here."

***

"What was that about Chloe calling you a cockroach?" Lana asked.

"It was just a joke but you kinda had to be there."

"Ok, well what'd you want to do?"

"I don't know this is a farm there's always something to do but right now I don't feel like doing much of anything."

"C'mon lets go to your loft." She said grabbing his hand and pulling him along. "You can let loose if you want."

They climbed the stairs to the loft and sat on the couch.

"It's kind of funny, back there the three of us were working together to find out what was wrong with Lois, and here we are, the three of us once again."

"Yeah." He laid his head back and closed his eyes.

"How are you really?" She said quietly.

"Not so good. Lois called me Oliver this morning, she was asleep and when I tried to wake her up, she thought I was Ollie, she didn't mean to hurt my feelings but I can't say that I'm not hurt. And the worst part is back there I talked about you to Lois and everyone else, and even though she must have got sick of it, she never told me to get lost, yet here I am and I just can't talk to her about Oliver, I don't want to hear her say how she feels about him." He opened his eyes and stared straight ahead.

"Well at least you had someone's ear to bend. Back there I still think Lex is wonderful," She teased coaxing a smile out of him. "We were a pair huh."

"Oh yeah, we were a pair." He grinned back.

"Clark I know you said no yesterday, but taking in what you just said and where Lois comes from, she is trying to get us back together isn't she?" She asked with a quirk of her lips.

"Pretty obvious huh?"

"Kinda, the prom dress really made it stand out though." She started laughing and he joined in, then she grabbed his hand. "Wanna get back at her."

"What'd you mean?"

"Do you want to pretend to let her think her ploy or plan whatever is working?" She asked mischievously.

"Pretend we're back together you mean?"

"Yeah, I'd love to see the look on her face; her eyes will probably pop out of her head."

"I used to enjoy getting back at Lois, but this is different. She's not trying to be hurtful or mean; she's just confused. She's used to seeing us 'moon' over each other, that's the best way I can describe it, she's just not used to us being friends without trying for more."

"But she won't remember, she didn't the last time she went back, so what'd you think?"

He shook his head in the negative "No, I don't want her to become even more confused with everything else that's happening, and she will." He shrugged.

"Shame but I understand. Just think if things had been different and it was you that was here, poor Lois would be the one struggling."

"I know, I thought of that yesterday. I thought if my younger self was here, I'd never accept that I was marrying anyone but you."

"Well I am pretty great, and you were really stuck on me." She teased.

"Oh yeah, I really was." He replied smiling.

"This morning when I woke up, I was trying to remember everything we did back then and I remembered when you and I drove around town you pulled the car over and tried to talk to me and I stopped you. I wish I hadn't, I wish I never married Lex; that had to be the stupidest thing I ever did." She said laying her head on his shoulder.

"We were both stupid then, I was sure that with you married to Lex any happiness for me was gone, and you were sure that with Lex, you found the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with."

"No I didn't."

"What'd you mean?"

"I was angry at you for breaking my heart and Lex was there, he was kind and nice and I guess I just wanted to stop hurting so I turned to him. I should have talked to you instead of running to Lex."

"I'm sorry that I hurt you and I'm sorry that you were hurt by Lex." he said quietly.

"It's not your fault; it was mine. I found out afterwards that you were just trying to protect me. Thank you for that." Lana replied taking his hand in hers.

"Well I did a great job of it didn't I. You ended up married to Lex."

"I know, but at least I learned not to jump into relationships so quickly."

"It would have been nice if you didn't have to learn that from marrying Lex though."

"Yeah but still…despite everything, I think we were good for each other Clark, don't you?" she asked in a soft voice, squeezing his hand before letting go.

"We were usually bad for each other. All I did was make you miserable and because I couldn't tell you about myself, I was mostly unhappy. " He replied sympathetically.

"You didn't make me miserable, I made myself miserable. You made me happy, I'm just sorry that you can't say the same." She said sadly.

"Lana it's in the past." He said uncomfortably.

"I know but it would be nice if you didn't look at our relationship with regret. If I knew that you were happy sometimes." She sat up and looked at him, hope shining in her eyes.

"I was." He said in desperation, trying to think of a time they had been happy and coming up blank.

"We were smiling the night after we made love." She reminded him with a soft smile.

"Only until we went downstairs and mom and dad caught us."

"God that was humiliating." She shuddered in remembrance.

"Hey you got off light, I had to stay and be lectured."

"Wish I'd been there."

"No you don't, believe me" he said with feeling, and when Lana laughed he joined in.

He was glad that the conversation had turned from serious to light hearted. When Lana first started to become sad about his view of their prior relationship, he'd tried to think up anything to change the subject and when she brought up their night together, he wished that he'd thought of something first.

That wasn't a memory he would have picked to reminisce about. He only felt comfortable talking about his and Lois' sex life, with Lois, but decided to be satisfied that he'd been able to keep the conversation light. But more than anything, he was relieved that young Lois wasn't around to hear it. God only knows what she'd think, and he had to stop himself from getting up and moving to the window.

"It's nice to be able to smile about it now though, don't you think?" she pressed lightly.

"Mmm" he nodded. He was genuinely happy that although they had a lot of ups and downs in their life, they had managed to become real friends at last.

"It's so weird, like you I believed we'd always be together and…"

"Sorry Lana but I have to go, I just heard a news bulletin, back later." He cut her off and flew out the window.

Lana sat in the loft after Clark left feeling both a little happy and a little miserable. She had tried a number of ways to try and get him to see what they could have together, what they'd always had, but hadn't gotten very far.

She'd hoped that he'd take up at least one of the hints she'd thrown out regarding their relationship; that he would take the proverbial conversational ball and run with it. He always used to take any opportunity she gave him to get her to go out with him, to see him, to love him, but this time he didn't. She'd had one victory but it was only partial at best.

He'd admitted that when he was younger he would never have accepted that he was going to marry anyone but her; she said he'd been 'stuck on her' and he had agreed. She should have said 'love' 'stuck' was such a childish expression and not one worthy of their feelings for each other. He would have agreed if she said love, he wouldn't have been able to deny loving her in the past, and it would only have been a short step to getting him to admit he loved her still. God she hated this; he was hers, he'd always been hers. She hated, absolutely hated that he thought he loved Lois, and felt sick every time she thought of him and Lois having sex.

How could he do that? How could he share with another, what he'd only ever shared with her? And worse still, with someone like Lois. For him, sex went hand in hand with love and marriage, and once upon she had been the woman he wanted to marry. She had to get him back, had to! She had to fix their lives, stop herself from marrying Lex, from ever being involved with Lex. She hated that Lex had ever seen her naked, had ever touched her, and bitterly resented that Lois had ever dared touch the man that belonged to HER.

Keeping both and eye and ear out for any intruders, she walked over and sat down on his bed, picked up the discarded shirt he'd left lying there, and breathed deep to inhale his fragrance before rubbing it softly against her cheek and putting it back down.

Smoothing her hand over the pillow, she had to resist the temptation to lie down, to rest her head and body where he rested his, but when she saw the engagement ring she picked it up and couldn't resist putting it on. It was a beautiful ring; it should be hers, just as he should be hers.

From the time she saw Clark interact with Lois at dinner that first night right up to when they became engaged, she believed that she had hidden how much she resented Lois. No one seemed to realise or care just how much she was hurting, how desperately she wanted Clark back, how deeply she loved him. But a couple of weeks after he became engaged, after she had already determined to take him back, Clark, Lois and Chloe had come to Smallville for the weekend, and as usual she had been invited to dinner by Martha.

She was still feeling bruised and raw from the news of the engagement but couldn't forgo seeing him. The dinner had almost been worse than the first weekend they came. The talk was all about the engagement party Martha was determined to throw for them. Clark had pretended to groan and grouse but had hardly let Lois out of his arms or sight, Lois had been flushed with victory, Martha and Chloe were happy but she had simply endured.

She had smiled and laughed; clinked glasses and drank to the happy pair and had only gotten through it because he was there, she could talk to him and look at him and pretend it was their engagement that everyone was toasting. The only saving grace was that no one knew how much she was suffering; or that she intended to take back the man that had been stolen from her, but when Lois came to see her the next day, she had been completely blindsided.

"Hello Lana." Finding Lois on her doorstep had been a surprise and not one that was welcome, but she'd played her part and pretended to be happy to see, 'her friend'.

"Lois, hi, um what are you doing here?"

"I just thought I'd drop in for a visit, after dinner last night I thought we should have a little chat."

"Oh ok, come in. Is Clark with you?"

"No he's back at the farm, I'm here alone."

"Would you like some coffee or something?" She asked, waving Lois to take seat on the couch before sitting in the arm chair opposite.

"No thanks."

"So you finally won Clark over, are you all excited about being engaged, I bet you are?"

"That's a funny way of congratulating me, saying, 'I won Clark over.'" Lois said quietly.

"I'm sorry, Martha was so tickled that you asked Clark to marry you and told me….I didn't mean to imply.....I'm sorry, I'm really happy for both of you. Are you happy?" She cursed herself inwardly for her gaffe and resolved to watch herself in future.

"Yeah I am, how about you, are you happy for us?" Lois asked with a smile.

"Of course, we've all been friends for years, so it's nice to see that you and Clark are happy."

"You think so, huh?"

"Yeah, I mean I never would have imagined you and Clark together, but still…and now I can't decide what to get you both for an engagement present. I mean what do you get a two people who have been living together for a few months already?" she laughed lightly.

"I have an idea what you can give us, maybe it'll help." Lois sat forward, smiled and looked her in the eye.

"Ok, shoot."

"I think your refusal to attend our party would be great and if you stay away from all of us …_permanently_ it would be even better. I can't think of a better engagement present then to have you out of our lives. But just to make myself clear, you're not invited to our party and you're not invited into any part of our lives." Lois said calmly.

"What…what do you mean?" She never saw it coming and had been at a total loss.

"Lana, I'm not you, I don't play word games. I've just told you what I mean. I want you to stay away from Clark and me, are we clear now?" Lois reiterated firmly.

"Well I won't do it. Clark and I are friends, we have been for years, and I thought we were too."

"No Lana, we're not friends. Years ago we were friendly acquaintances but we were never buddies. I tried to befriend you when you were going out with Lex but soon found out that was a waste of time. We have not been friends for years." Lois said sitting back and making herself comfortable.

"What's going on Lois, why are you saying this?"

"Please not the tears, I'm not a guy afraid of a girls tears; I'm a woman and I can spot fake tears a mile off, so spare us both."

"I don't understand what I've done that could make you attack me like this, but I don't appreciate it." She really was perplexed, if she'd given herself away somehow then she needed to find out how and more important, if Clark knew.

"As I said before you like games, I don't and I'm not going to indulge you. I'm going to lay it straight out, so listen carefully. I know that you're in love with Clark; I saw how you felt the first time the three of us came here for a visit. To be honest, I thought how you felt about Clark was your own business so I never said anything, but what I also saw was your dislike of me. I didn't understand it, I didn't think I'd done anything to warrant it, but I saw it all the same. I'm sure you'll remember that Chloe and Clark encouraged you to come to Metropolis but I never did." Lois said matter of fact.

"I don't dislike you." She said calmly.

But Lois kept talking as if she had never spoken. "When Clark and I started dating I noticed that you came to Metropolis less, but it was only after we'd been dating for a while that I finally realised you didn't like me because I had Clark. That's what this is all about, Clark. He's mine and you want him back. I saw the look in your eyes at dinner last night Lana, you can fool everyone, but not me." Lois paused, took a deep breath and continued speaking confidently "At first I just thought you were jealous and would get over it, after all Clark was your boyfriend years ago so a little jealousy is natural, but last night I realised you weren't just jealous, you hate me because Clark is with me and not you."

When Lois stood up, walked over and bent down to look her right in the eyes, she held her breath "I've had people not like me before, that's normal the world is made up of different people and some just aren't going to get along. But I've never had anyone hate me quite as much as you do. If you just hated me, I would have felt uncomfortable but left it as your problem. But last night you made it my problem too, because last night I saw it all, there's not just hate, there's malice as well. I can see it in your eyes now. You can't hide it Lana, it's there and I see it."

Lois turned and retook her seat, allowing her to breathe a sigh of relief. "How's that Lana, is that straight enough for you, or do you need me to say it all again in words of one syllable."

"You're a writer Lois so obviously you see things that just aren't there, but you're wrong." Her heart was pounding, she wanted so badly to tell Lois the truth but once started, she didn't know if she could stop.

"No Lana I'm an investigative journalist, so I usually know when someone's lying to me, just as you're lying now. Admit it, you're in love with Clark and hate me because he's with me, because he LOVES ME."

"Clark and I were over years ago, he's just a friend and I don't appreciate you coming here and making accusations, and I don't think Clark would either." She replied standing up and walking to the mantle to fiddle with an ornament before turning around again.

"I'm glad you realise that your relationship with Clark ended years ago, because he loves me and I have no intention of giving him up." Lois' tone had been firm and inflexible; and she had heard the conviction in it. Lois would not give up Clark.

"I think you should go."

"Clark Loves me Lana!"

"I don't care."

"Clark LOVES ME, Clark Kent is in love with Lois Lane!"

"I don't….don't care!"

But Lois was remorseless, she kept on repeating herself, her voice had risen but she hadn't once shouted. Lois had just been constantly and doggedly calm and firm in her belief.

Listening to Lois, having her words echo in her ears, she felt almost as bruised and battered as when Clark first rejected her. All she wanted was for Lois to leave, because if Lois stayed much longer, she wouldn't be able to hold back.

"I…I; get out!" she replied moving towards the front door. But Lois didn't follow; she stood in the lounge and her voice, although calm got louder.

"CLARK KENT LOVES ME LANA."

"Leave."

"CLARK...LOVES...ME!"

Hearing the conviction in Lois' voice, hearing the same thing over and over was finally too much, and when she could take it no longer screamed "HE DOESN'T, HE DOESN'T!!!"

"Yes Lana he does, Clark is mine and he loves me!" Lois said quietly.

"Clark could never love you, Clark's not yours, you stole him, he was mine and you stole him." She could finally give voice to her hurt and anger, and for the first time in almost two years felt the release of doing so.

"Clark was no one's when we started dating, but he's mine now and he loves me, not you."

"That's not true, Clark loves me, he's always loved me, he used to tell all the time, he told everyone all the time, he couldn't stand you Lois, he hated you!" She enjoyed saying that, she enjoyed rubbing that into Lois' face, but it didn't seem to affect Lois at all.

"He loved you as a boy loves a girl, but he's no longer a boy, he's a man and as a _**man**_ he loves me."

"No he doesn't. He'll see what you are, he'll see that you're not good enough for him, he'll see the truth and he'll come back to me."

"Are you sure?"

"YES! Clark will never love you the way he loved me. He probably enjoys it when you spread your legs for him, when you let him fuck you, but that's not love."

"I'm surprised you think Clark and I have sex at all, that he's not saving himself for you."

"Clark's a guy and no matter how bad the sex, he'll still take what's so freely offered. And you always were a bit of a slut Lois. Look at how fast you got involved with AC and Oliver Queen, I bet you jumped into bed with both them pretty damn quick."

Lois lightly scratched her head and nodded. "Tell me Lana, just how many minutes was it that you held out before jumping into Lex's bed after Clark dumped you?" She asked, raising one eyebrow in condescension.

"It was ages afterwards, months and that was a mistake! At least I thought I loved him, but you just use sex to take whatever you want, like you did with Clark. Clark was mine and you stole him."

"For god's sake Lana, you and Clark broke up years ago, long before I ever got involved with him, if he ever wanted you he would never have pursued me." Lois said in exasperation.

"Clark would _**never**_ have pursued you, he hated you, you somehow got to him, made him fall for you the same way you did with AC and Oliver but he would never have pursued you. Clark ALWAYS wanted me." She emphatically replied pointing to herself.

"And you think Clark still wants you now."

"Yes, but I also know that my marriage to Lex hurt him so he's convinced himself that he doesn't love me anymore, but we would have gotten back together, we would be together now if you didn't bewitch him. There are plenty of other men in the world but you weren't content with them, you had to steal mine." She sneered in disgust.

"Clark doesn't love you Lana, what he felt for you was puppy love."

"That's a lie, when Clark and I made love, do you know what he told me, he told me he loved me and always would. He told me he had waited years for me and didn't want to share that experience with anyone else, just me."

"That was years ago and he was a kid, most people feel that way about the first person they have sex with."

"It wasn't _sex_!" She spat back "It was love. He was so sweet and gentle, I bet he's not that way with you, with me he wanted to make sure that it was good and it was. You'll never have that Lois; he'll never be your first love or first anything because he was MINE."

"Do you know what's important to me Lana, being Clark's last love, not his first." Lois said shaking her head. "First love is nice, usually sweet and you're left with a few fond memories. But I'd rather be the woman Clark wants to spend his life with, the woman he wants to build a future with, instead of the girl he dreamed about taking to the prom. And I know that Clark feels the same way, he's happy that he wasn't the first guy I fell for, because if he was, more than likely I would have moved on. I wasn't ready to settle down at 16. Clark and I are each other's _**last loves**_, and that's more important to both of us, then being each other's first love."

"I'm both, if I had never married Lex, Clark and I would be together. You got Clark by default, you're only second best Lois and you always will be." She said with satisfaction.

"I see, and do you think Clark feels that way?" Lois asked calmly.

"Yes, Clark will never love you the way he loved me!" She replied forcefully.

"I'm grateful for that, because if he loved me the way he loved you, he would have gotten over it and moved on."

"He'll never get it over it, NEVER! Clark and I belong together, he'll come back to me, you're the interloper Lois, you!!"

"Ok, if you really believe that, and you believe Clark feels that way too, then let's go and talk to him together; let's go and hear exactly what he has to say."

"He…..you've told him, you've already turned him against me."

"I haven't told him anything yet, but I'm going to. I intend to tell him everything. I wanted to talk to you first, to see if for once in your life you were going to tell the truth, quite frankly I'm surprised you did, but since you're so sure, let's go talk to him now."

"No" she shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"Why not? You can make him see that he's settling for second best when he could have you. You can point out how I've manipulated him; you can make him admit to loving you. Come on Lana, you've wanted to do this for ages. Just think how great you'll feel when he agrees with everything you say, just imagine how devastated I'll be when the man I love runs back to you." Lois' voice had almost taken on a musical tone, listening to her she could see it all, she could almost feel Clark's arms around her and when Lois kept talking she closed her eyes and imagined.

"You can remind him of when you had sex, how you were each others firsts, you can remind him that he always loved you, and you can watch and listen while he tells me to get lost because it's you he wants. You want that don't you; you want to see me humiliated, brought down a peg for 'stealing' your guy, so let's go see him together." Lois finished softly. She had almost given in, almost, but she knew that the picture Lois painted wouldn't be the final product.

"You'll probably just try and make me look bad; you'll say things that will turn him against me."

"I promise I won't say a word. I'll let you do all the talking, just imagine it Lana, you can have Clark back in minutes while my whole world comes crashing down, you should enjoy that, so let's go." Lois said sweeping her hand toward the front door.

"Ok…ok, I'm going upstairs to get my jacket but you have to promise to let me speak, not you, just me!" She wanted to do it, she wanted to tell Clark everything, but Clark wouldn't listen to her, not then; he would one day, but not then.

"Deal, but make it quick; your true loves waiting for you." Lois said quietly and firmly.

She had run upstairs got what was needed and while following Lois' car to the Kent Farm had quickly performed the forget spell. By the time they arrived at the farm Lois didn't remember anything. Not how much she was hated, not their conversation, nothing. She'd pretended that she'd seen Lois in town and was invited back for lunch, and when Lois didn't remember that either, she'd enjoyed her confusion, but she didn't enjoy seeing Clark fuss over his fiancé.

She knew that Lois was aware of her love for Clark but didn't care, as Lois had said, how she felt about Clark was her own business. Besides she thought a bit of insecurity on Lois' part was a good thing, to never know when the girl Clark had always loved intended to reclaim what was rightfully hers would scare Lois. She would always be on tenterhooks, looking over her shoulder, because it was a well known fact, that when Lana Lang wanted something, she always got it, especially Clark Kent.

She had been extra careful since then, ensuring that whatever she felt, however much she detested Lois, that no one, including Lois would ever see it.

She gave the ring one last glance, before taking it off and putting it back. Returning to sit on the couch she closed her eyes. When Lois had implied that Clark had only loved her as a boy, that their relationship was unimportant; a teenage fancy at best, it had infuriated her. As if all the pain and heartache they had suffered wasn't enough, Lois had tried to infer that she and Clark had been nothing more than stupid children who didn't even know their own minds.

But what the hell did Lois know, more than likely Lois' first love had lasted for all of a tumble in the back seat of a car when she was 16, and lost her virginity to the first guy that paid attention to her. Lois was a two-bit, boyfriend stealing bitch, who deserved no better than to have the man she'd stolen, stolen back from her.

She couldn't deny she'd been tempted, everything Lois had said about humiliating her was right, but it would only be when she knew Clark was ready to hear the truth that she'd tell him.

Thinking back to their earlier conversation she smiled, she didn't think the time was that far off. He had only ever wanted to marry her, he'd said it himself, Lois was the interloper, Lois had pursued him and bewitched him, and Lois was soon going to lose him.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

"How are you doing Lo?" Chloe smiled wrapping one arm around Lois waist. She couldn't help but smile, upon seeing Lois open the kitchen door and following her nose to inspect the contents of the pot she was currently stirring.

"I'm good, well I'm ok is closer to the truth but I'm getting there" Lois smiled and wrapped her arm around Chloe. "I guess it's just one thing after another y'know."

"Yeah but Lo, if you want to talk we're all here for you ok."

"Thanks; actually I was wondering if I could ask you some stuff, about my life I mean."

"Sure, did you want to talk now or later?"

"I know you have all this cooking to do, so I don't want to interrupt…"

"Nonsense you two go outside or sit in the lounge, I can look after things myself for a little while." Martha paused when the door opened; "or even better, Lana would you mind helping me to cook while Lois and Chloe talk?"

"I'd love to. You're looking better Lois, I'm glad." Lana smiled and patted her on the arm.

"Thanks Lana. Um we can just sit in the lounge or…"

"How about we go to the loft." Chloe suggested.

"Ok, thanks Chlo, and thank you Martha, I really did appreciate you coming with me."

"Honey you're going to be my daughter in law and even if you weren't I'd still love you, so you don't have to thank me, ok." Martha pulled Lois in a hug and held tight.

"Ok, but thanks anyway." Lois said squeezing back.

***

"Chlo; Clark told me that when he joined the Daily Planet, that I'd been working there for three years." Lois asked taking the seat beside her cousin on the sofa.

"Uh huh."

"Well If I'm 28 now, and he joined when he was 24, I would have been 25, so I started when I was 22, right?"

"Yeah, you left a couple of months after getting out of the Medical Centre actually." Chloe turned to face Lois.

"Ok, well can you tell me what I did for the two years before I joined you at the Planet and bring me up to date, leaving out the Clark stuff?" She was intensely curious about her life and what she had done over the past eight years. She wanted to know that she hadn't wasted the last eight years of her life; at least if she died, she wanted to know that what she'd done had counted, if only to herself.

"I can, but why don't you ask Clark, he knows and he'd be happy to tell you, Lo."

"If he was the Clark I knew I probably would, because he'd enjoy busting my chops and making fun of the stupid things I did, then I could retaliate. But at the moment, he's not, and I really don't want to hear some flowery, romanticised version of my life, I want the unvarnished truth."

"Well I'm kind of biased towards you as well, you know." Chloe lifted her eyebrows, smiled and nodded.

"I know but you've never shirked on telling me off when I needed it either, so I think I'd like to hear it from you." Lois replied shrugging.

"Ok, well, you know that Clark and Lana both left Smallville shortly after her marriage to Lex ended right?"

"Yeah."

"Well you left before either of them. One day shortly after Lana was married; you came to see me at the Planet and dragged me out to lunch. Anyway you told me you'd quit the Inquisitor and was leaving. When I asked you why, you said it was time. You wanted to see the world and as there was nothing to hold you back, you were going."

"Did I say why?"

"Yeah, most of what I'm going to tell you is either what I knew from the messages you sent me or what you told me when you got back, ok?" Chloe organised her thoughts, then launched into her narrative of Lois' life.

_2007 -2009_

She had been sitting at her desk for the past two hours, trying to write an article on the furniture show. Oh yeah this is why she got into journalism, to write about the thrilling adventures on whether to pick a leather sofa or a divan. Geez maybe the stuff she wrote about for the Torch was a bit out there, but it was at least more exciting than this junk. Well she supposed she couldn't complain, it was a start and every reporter had to earn their stripes, but how in hell was she supposed to make furniture sound exciting.

She was biting her lip and concentrating so hard on trying to make her article as interesting as possible, that it took her a few minutes to realise she was no longer alone.

Looking up she saw Lois standing in front of her desk, smiling. "Hey Chloe, tough article?"

"Not tough, just boring, I'm trying to make it sound Pulitzer interesting." She replied with a grimace.

"What's it about?"

"The furniture show." She groaned.

"Oh, well unless you can make the furniture sound like breaking news, or a good sob story which will influence the masses to band together and love each other, I don't think you've got much hope." Lois replied and patted her hand.

"Thanks Cuz."

"Come on, its 12:30 come have lunch with me, maybe something will come to you that'll make it sound more interesting."

"Good idea just let me go tell my supervisor, I'll be back in minute." They left together and were soon sitting down enjoying pizza and soda.

"Chloe, look I wanted you to come out to lunch because I need to tell you something."

Chloe stopped eating and looked up to see that Lois had an apologetic look on her face.

"What? Is something wrong, what's up?" She knew that Lois dropping by wasn't their usual practice. They saw each other every night, they lived together, they talked every day, and Lois was too busy to just come over to say hello for no reason. Oh god, please let everything be alright, she silently prayed.

"I'm leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Yeah, I'm leaving Metropolis. I've already quit the Inquisitor but wanted to come and see you before I took off." Lois reached over and took her hand.

"Why? When are you going? Why?" Her words ran together but she couldn't help it. She wasn't expecting this, maybe she could change Lois' mind; maybe that's why Lois had come to her, to get her to change her mind.

"It's time Chlo. I only came to Smallville in the first place to find you and I ended up sticking around but now I want leave."

"Can I ask why?" She gripped her cousins hand tighter, Lois sounded pretty decisive but maybe…

"I don't know, I guess it's just everything. Breaking up with Ollie, my 'coma' for lack of a better word…Wes, I just want to get away. I've always wanted to travel, so I decided this morning that I was going. And besides all that, I want to try and find my place in the world, and I don't mean that the way it sounds. I don't mean 'I want to find myself' or any of that crap, but I want to make something of myself and I can't do that here. Here I just feel like I'm stagnating, you know."

"I understand the make something of yourself and the stagnating part, but Lo, you don't talk about what happened to you, about being in the hospital I mean. I haven't wanted to push, but are you ok?" She knew her cousin wasn't ok, what a stupid question, but Lois wouldn't talk about it and she hoped it could just be put behind them. She could see the strain on her cousin's face and berated herself for not being there after everything Lois gone through.

"Not really, but I'll get over it. You know me, nothing keeps me down for long; the whole experience just freaked me out." Lois smiled, shrugged and tried to hide the fear in her eyes of what happened. She was good at hiding things and because she was, Chloe herself had let it go.

"And Wes, I thought you wanted to know what happened to him, to help find some justice for him." Maybe she could use this to keep Lois here, she needed her cousin and despite Lois's strength, she knew her cousin needed her too.

"I do Chlo, and I'll never stop until I find out what happened, but at the moment I just feel tapped out y'know. I go through the motions every day but I've come to hate this place, to hate being here. I can't live at the Talon anymore, seeing Lex's smug face, seeing the crap he gets away with. I'm scared Chlo, I'm scared of what I could do. I just need to get away and I won't do Wes or anyone else any good if I end up dead or in jail. So I've decided to leave. To travel and hopefully find enough peace so that when I come back, I won't feel like killing Lex is the only option available to me. As much as I hate the guy, killing someone, no matter how much I detest them isn't my decision or my right. Do you understand?"

"I do, I'm gonna miss you though."

"I'm gonna miss you too cuz, but I'll call and write and now that you've got me interested in journalism, I'm going to keep doing that as well. I thought I'd try my hand at writing articles and hopefully selling them free lance."

"Ok, but Lo, promise me you'll be careful, promise you'll look after yourself."

"I will. Come on Chlo, I can take care of myself. It's the just the crazies I've met since coming here that have been more of a challenge than usual. Give me guy pointing a gun at my head and I can take him down, give me someone juiced up on meteor crap and one day I'll probably find myself spit roasting over an open flame." Lois laughed.

"Thanks for the visual. Have you said goodbye to Mrs Kent and Clark?"

"Yeah I stopped in to see the Senator in her office and dropped by the farm before coming here."

"How'd they take it?"

"Mrs Kent was Mrs Kent like; she hugged me, cried a little and made me promise to keep in touch with the reminder that I'm always welcome. Clark hugged me, said to be careful because he wouldn't be around to help me, if you can believe it, then smiled and said goodbye. I think he was just about to go back to his loft to brood about Lana, so at least I gave him something new to think about for a few minutes."

They both chuckled at that.

They continued to eat their lunch, and talked quietly about inconsequential things until it was time to leave "I love you Lo, please come back soon" Chloe said tearfully, before reaching over and hugging her cousin one last time.

"I love you too, take care little cuz." Lois whispered before squeezing back, turning around and leaving.

Chloe watched her cousin leave, and wiped her eyes. She was going to miss Lois. They'd always been close and having her around for the last couple of years had been great and now she was gone. She didn't know if she could stand not having her around full time. Lois wasn't just her cousin, she was one of her two best friends and she was going to miss talking with her, laughing and having fun with her.

She knew she was crying again but didn't care. She hated the thought that her cousin, one of the strongest, most effervescent people she'd ever known, felt so beaten down about everything that only by leaving, could she cope.

She went back to work, finished the article then asked if she could leave early. When her supervisor gave his approval, she called Jimmy told him she was leaving early and drove back to Smallville.

The first place she stopped in at was the Kent farm. She wanted to talk to Jimmy but he was busy and he was trying so hard to make it as a photo journalist, that she didn't feel it would be fair to interrupt him. She knew he'd put her first and it was because of that very reason that she also knew she couldn't do it. He deserved to be able to concentrate on his work, not have to hold his girlfriends hand because she was teary over her cousin's departure. She'd call him later and have a chat. For now she'd talk to Clark, he and Lois may argue and find each other painful at times, but they were friends and she suspected he was going to miss Lois too.

She pulled into the driveway and found Clark tending to the horses in the stable. "Hey!"

"Hey Chlo, I thought you might stop by. How are you doing?" Clark asked pulling her into a hug.

"Not so good, I'm gonna miss her." she replied, crying into his chest.

"I know, but she had to do this. Leave I mean."

"I know."

"Look let me just finish this and we can go inside and have some coffee. Mom will be home soon; do you want to stay for dinner?"

"Yeah that'd be nice. Thanks." She wiped her cheeks and went into the house to put the coffee on.

The three of them had a nice dinner, talking and laughing at all the antics Lois had pulled since she'd first come to Smallville. She'd been right, Clark was going to miss Lois, he couldn't hide it and didn't even try. He'd remarked that he must have been affected by the meteors after all, if he was going to miss the one person who constantly gave him a hard time from the moment they met.

When she went back to Talon, the apartment rang with emptiness. It was going to be just her from now on. She understood why Lois had to go, but she was going to miss her just the same.

Lois had been true to her word and called a week later from London. She was enjoying the city, and her time there. She'd actually caught a lucky break, and walked into one of the many coffee houses and within ten minutes was a waitress.

Over the next couple of years she received a dozens of emails from Lois from all over the world, she sometimes also received letters, postcards and short notes written on anything from a napkin to toilet paper.

Lois had travelled all over from Africa, to Australia, Beijing and Rotterdam. She lived very simply, usually with only a back pack and mucking down wherever there was room. She'd made friends with a couple of working girls in Amsterdam and lived with them for about a month.

Chloe had been alarmed at this news, but Lois assured her the girls were nice, no funny business went on in the apartment, as they worked out of a 'house' and she enjoyed seeing the seamier side of life from a safe perspective.

Amsterdam was her first stop after London and the girls ended up being Lois' first article. She wrote an expose on their life, what had got them into the trade and the dangers they faced doing what they did. The story had been accepted by one of the local papers and was subsequently picked up by one of the larger newspapers in the city and was translated into both Dutch and English.

Chloe had been proud and happy. Her cousin was obviously enjoying herself and making a little money writing. She was also starting to sound like the old Lois, the one that took whatever life threw at her and then threw it back even harder.

She didn't know it at the time but Lois was studying for her Journalism Degree via correspondence. So in between writing free lance, studying and working at whatever job she could get; in whatever city she happened to be in at the time, her life was full.

Lois had been a waitress in London, a hotel cleaning woman in Paris, a console operator at a self serve gas station in Germany, a kitchen hand in Greece and a barista at more than one coffee house in her travels. No job was too menial. She didn't stay in one place for more than a few months; all she wanted was the money to pay for her education and to give her a ticket to travel to the next destination. She lived at the cheapest accommodation she could find, which was usually back packer hostels and met a lot of interesting people from all over the world. Her diet usually consisted of rice and soup. It was cheap and filling and that was all she cared about.

Her articles were sometimes just puff filler pieces, about the sights tourists could visit, the local beauty pageant, the boat show or fishing. Every once in a while her articles would be a bit more gripping about survivors from an Earthquake in Japan, a boy being mauled by a lion, or a train wreck. But with each article her talent, grew.

It was clear by her writing that Lois had found her calling. Chloe loved her stories, she knew her cousin had natural talent as a writer, she'd known from the time she read her first article for the Torch. But with each story she read, she could see that her cousins writing became more polished, more passionate and more intuitive. Even just writing an article about something as boring as fishing, Lois made it interesting, not just by giving the dry facts, but by researching the area and asking insightful questions of the interviewee.

One thing Lois didn't have much off, was free time. Whatever time she had between working, studying, writing or keeping in touch with friends and family, was usually spent sleeping. And she loved it. She was exhausted and it was a good feeling. Going to bed and sleeping because she was tired from accomplishing something, even if it was just cleaning toilets, was much better than not sleeping because she was stewing about friends who were dead and ex boyfriends who'd left.

She had been gone for 22 months when she felt ready to return to Metropolis. She'd managed to salt away enough money that she could afford to rent a cheap apartment, and she also felt more in control, more balanced.

She had managed to cram three years of study into two, so only had the one year left to complete, and felt that with the combination of her free lance articles, and her studying, that this time she had something to offer when applying for a position at the more respectable newspapers in Metropolis. So she decided to apply to all of them and was pleasantly surprised to receive an offer from both The Daily Planet and The Star.

It was no contest, she accepted the Planet's offer, resigned from her job as a barista in France and was winging her way back to Metropolis, almost two years to date she left.

She didn't call ahead to say she was coming home, she wanted it to be a surprise. So she left her bags with the receptionist, had an informal interview with Perry White and then tracked down her cousin.

Once again, Chloe was working on an article at her desk. She herself had moved up several floors at the Planet and this time her article was a lot more interesting than the Furniture Show. She had looked up, seen Lois and screamed.

The two of them had jumped into each other's arms; hugged and almost danced on the spot, they were so happy to see each other. When Lois told her that she was back to stay and had gotten a position at the Planet, Chloe was ecstatic. Her cousin was home where she belonged.

Chloe had to finish her article and Lois needed to fill out her employment paperwork, so they agreed to meet back in half an hour before leaving for the day.

They went back to Chloe's apartment, where she insisted Lois stay until she found somewhere decent to live, and the two caught up with each other on everything. This was when Chloe had told her that Clark had left a couple of months after she had, and that Lana was no longer married.

Lois had asked if she could start at the Planet in a couple of days, just to rest from jet lag and catch up with friends, and as Perry agreed she felt she could finally rest for the first time, in a long time.

She had spent time with both her father and sister before coming back to Metropolis so only had one more visit to make, which was to Mrs Kent who she went to see the next day.

She lived with Chloe for eight months before moving into her own apartment, and as she now had the time to devote to her career, decided Investigative Journalism was what she wanted to pursue. And purse she did; with a vengeance.

She quickly made enemies of criminals and shady politicians, and made friends and acquaintances with some very questionable people who became her informants, either selling or giving her tips and information.

Her life was quite often in jeopardy, but there was no doubt that in anyone's mind, that if Lois Lane was investigating you; and you were doing something illegal, run and hide because the woman was a bulldog and wouldn't scare off easily.

She won her first Kerth Award within a year of starting at The Planet. Her story was about an illegal baby selling market. She'd exposed a highly organised unit that included the Mayors son as the head of the organisation.

She won her second Kerth Award a year later for an article on gun running in the Congo. That was one story that she almost never came back from. She'd nearly been caught by the gun runners and after hiding out in the jungle for nearly a week, with no food, and only contaminated water to drink, had become so sick that she was lucky to be found by a local woman who took her home and tended to her. It was almost two weeks before she opened her eyes. She had her back pack, so was able to get home, but when she came back, she looked was so sick that Perry ordered her to go home. Which she did, but only after writing her article with the accompanying information she managed to salvage in her bag.

She was the best and she knew it. Clark returned ten months later and they were partnered together. She wasn't happy at first but their writing styles complemented each other, and it was as if the time apart had never been. The three of them took up from where they left off, but this time she and Clark didn't bother to pretend they weren't friends. The three of them spent almost all their working and leisure time together.

Clark and she won their first joint Kerth Award ten months after being partnered, for an article about a local politicians who were taking kick backs from a pharmaceutical company, to push their drugs onto the market before they'd been tested.

Chloe smiled "You're the best Lo, you and Clark. You're known as 'The Hottest Team in Town' and believe me when I say that no one wants either of your attention to be focused on them."

"Are you really ok with it Chlo? I know that journalism's your thing, it always has been, but I never intended ….."

"You didn't and I really am ok with it, I promise. Lo, I'm so proud of what you've accomplished. Eight years ago when you were in the hospital, I realised how stupid I was being and I'm sorry for giving you a hard time. I should have been more supportive. Hell I'm the one who pushed you into it but I was jealous as hell that even without trying you were a natural and I wasn't. I'm sorry."

"You don't have anything to be sorry about, I don't blame you. I admit I was a bit hurt but I understood; so whadda say we just forget about it ok?"

"Ok, but Lo, I mean it, I'm really proud of you. I'm still a little jealous, but hey I'm only human. My cousin got the good looks, the gorgeous guy and the bitch is also one the two best damn reporters I've ever known." She laughed, bumping Lois with her shoulder.

"Whadda ya mean I got the good looks? Have you even bothered to look in the mirror Chlo? My god woman you're a knock out, so stop fishing for compliments." Lois laughed back.

"I am a looker, aren't I?" Chloe replied, pretending to preen and patting her hair for effect.

"Damn straight, and you know what they say 'blondes have more fun'. I tried it, but I don't think it works when the blonde comes out of a bottle" Picking up a strand of her own dark locks Lois looked down and gave a mock frown.

"Well, I've never seen you short of admirers, so don't you go fishing for compliments either cuz because I'm tapped out." Chloe laughed.

"What the hell, we're both hot. Maybe we could go out tonight and see how much fun we could have." Lois asked wiggling her eyebrows and smiling mischievously.

"Um Lo, remember Clark?"

"What about him, he can come too, maybe he'll get lucky."

"Lo, he's your fiancé." Chloe said patiently, trying not to laugh.

"Technically he's not my fiancé, he's Joanne's." Lois said smugly.

"Lo c'mon."

"Fine, so what do I do with my time now, sit around making care packages for the needy, wow what an exciting life."

"No you don't make care packages." Chloe laughed as her mind conjured up pictures of Lois being pious and caring for the down and outs. She could just see it, if any of them tried to grab her; Lois would give them a good hard kick to the balls, which would rather spoil the goody two shoes image she had tried to evoke.

"Well how about when I get back, the two of us go out on the prowl; we can go out for a night on the town and maybe meet a couple of hot guys. I haven't exactly been living it up since Ollie left, so it'll be good for me to get back in the game."

"I'd love to, but I don't think Jimmy would be thrilled with me scoping out the talent. I was with him then remember?" Chloe said shooting down Lois's next suggestion.

"Gees Chlo, you're really killing my mood; fine, I'll contact a couple of my college girl friends, a night on the tiles sounds just the thing and they're always good company." Lois said giving a long suffering sigh.

The two looked at each other and laughed. Clark had come back and heard Chloe telling Lois about her life and had stopped to listen. It was nice to hear Lois laugh again, there hadn't been much laughter since last night. He didn't like hearing about her plans to go out and scope out guys, but considering she was talking about when she was 20, there wasn't much he could about it.

He was unprepared for Chloe's next words; he was angry at first but later hoped that while Lois wouldn't listen to him maybe she would listen to Chloe.

"Lo."

"Hmm."

"I know it makes you uncomfortable, Joanne's relationship with Clark I mean, I say Joanne but it's you and Clark I'm talking about. Jimmy saw the potential for the two of you years ago, I thought he was crazy at the time but he was right. You and Clark really belong together."

"That's pretty much what Mrs Kent said but I've never felt romantic towards Clark. I just don't see him that way." Lois shrugged.

"I know but, ok Clark's told you that he talked Joanne into giving the two of you a chance right?"

"Yeah." Lois said quietly.

"Well what you don't know is that I was angry at you Lo. I was away visiting dad when Clark called, he told me that he'd finally told Joanne that he loved her but she was trying to avoid him. I told him he should give her some space, maybe she just needed time. He sounded so miserable and I felt sorry for him because I knew how much he loved her. Please don't think he told me because he felt he had to share everything about your relationship with me. The two of you are pretty private, but I think he told me so that I wouldn't say anything, even inadvertently in teasing you about your feelings for him." Chloe paused then grabbed Lois's hand and looked her in the eyes. "I know that Martha tried to get Clark to let Joanne go, well I almost did worse and I think if I had succeeded, Clark would never have forgiven me and seeing how happy the two of you were, I don't think I would have forgiven myself."

"What'd you mean?"

Chloe stopped and gave a self mocking smile. "When he called me back a few days later to tell me that although Joanne didn't love him, he'd convinced her to give them a chance, I pretended to be happy for him but in reality, I was really angry Lo. How could you not love him, or why couldn't you just lie to him and say that you did. So many times I picked up the phone to call and tell you off, to tell you to let him go. I didn't think you were being fair on him, but every time I ended up putting the phone down instead."

"What stopped you?" Lois asked curiously.

"I knew that Joanne would have listened to me and Clark wouldn't thank me for interfering, more than likely he would have been angry with me for making you walk away. The second reason was Joanne herself." Chloe smiled mistily.

"Joanne?"

"Yeah, on my first night home I called to tell her I was back and asked if I could come over." Chloe paused, squeezed Lois's hand and taking a deep breath confessed. "I was going to talk to her, demand that she let him go. I wasn't just thinking about him, I promise I was thinking about her too, but I was determined to speak up." Chloe shook her head. "Thank god I decided to do it in person, when I called she told me that I should come over, Clark was due later but to come around and we could have a girl talk before the Y chromosome arrived demanding to be fed." Chloe broke off to laugh and Lois joined in. "When I got to Joanne's place I realised that love him or not, she treated the guy like a king. She'd made her apartment all romantic, candles, nice dinner setting, music; the lot. When I got there she was frantically running around, all dressed up, throwing away the food that she'd tried to cook and was worrying about what to order out instead. If I hadn't gone around, if I had called and told her off, I could have ruined everything for them."

"You would have been right Chlo, when he told me I wondered why she stayed with him." Lois said in understanding.

"I would have been wrong. After she fell in love with him, I asked her why she just didn't lie and tell him that she loved him. She said that she'd never lie about something like that. That the truth as hard as it is, is easier to live with than I lie."

"I've always thought so." Lois said with a half smile.

"I know and I've come to agree with you." Chloe said smiling "I love you Lo and I've never been so glad to mind my own business than I was that time."

"I love you too, but let's face it Chlo there's just no help for us, we can't help but mind each other's business we always have." Lois smiled back.

"True and I'm glad of it."

"Me too."

Pulling Lois into a hug, Chloe held her close before letting go "Well I'm going back to the house to help Martha, you coming?"

"In a little while Chlo; I'll be there in a little while ok."

"Ok."

Lois lay down on the couch and closed her eyes. Everyone said they wouldn't let her die but they really couldn't stop it. No one was privy to how or why this happened, nor had they worked out why she woke up so suddenly 8 years ago, but she couldn't help but wonder if Joanne's passing was the trigger for her waking up.

She had enjoyed listening to Chloe recounting her life. It was nice knowing that she'd found her niche and had made a difference in a few people's lives, nice to know that she hadn't wasted the last eight years, but had lived her life to the full.

She drifted off to sleep thinking it was nice listening to Chloe and Mrs Kent talk about Joanne and Clark, it felt nice to hear about it from someone not directly involved. She still didn't want it, it still felt weird but it was nice all the same.

***

Chloe stepped outside the barn and saw Clark leaning against the wall. "When did you get back?"

"A little while ago, I heard you talking to Lo about what she did after she left Smallville and listened."

"You know, you used to accuse me of being nosey, but you're just as bad now." she laughed.

"I know, hanging around with you and Lo has done me no end of good. I didn't realise all the juicy stuff I missed by minding my own business." Clark replied piously.

"Don't get carried away, you never minded your own business, you just weren't as nosey as us." She replied smacking him on the arm.

They began to walk back to the house, when Clark steered them away behind the barn to the back fence.

"Chloe you never told me that you were angry with Lois when I talked her into giving us a chance." Clark said sitting on the fence and giving her a hand up.

"I couldn't. You were so happy that she was willing to try, I wanted to be happy for you but I was worried. I loved both of you but all I could see was you being hurt, and her being hurt and me stuck in the middle, losing both my best friends." She replied quietly.

"I'm glad you didn't say anything to Lois, she would have listened to you, y'know"

"I know. I was angry at her, I thought she was taking advantage of your feelings, that she should let you go so that you could find happiness with someone else, but I was wrong and I'm glad I kept quiet."

"You're a good friend Chlo but if Lois and I ever have personal problems please don't take sides. Whatever problems we have, will be our problems and it'll be up to us to fix them, no one else, ok."

"Ok, and I'm sorry Clark, I really am. I just didn't want you to be hurt. I knew how much you loved her and I couldn't stand to think of how you'd feel if she left you, but I won't ever stick my nose into your relationship again. Thank god I didn't, but it was close, if I hadn't gone to her place I could have ruined everything for both of you." She said sadly.

"You could have but you didn't, so I think we should let it go. I know you were trying to look out for both of us, not just me." He replied putting and arm around her shoulders and hugging her to him.

"I was but that still doesn't make it right."

"No, but I know you were only doing it out of love, so thanks."

"If I had ruined it, would you have forgiven me?" She asked lifting her head from his chest and looking into his eyes.

"No. She's my life Chlo, she was even before she went out with me, and the longer we were together the stronger her hold became. So no, I wouldn't have, but you didn't and that's all that matters." He said with finality.

"Thank you." She whispered hugging him again.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"I heard most of your conversation, I don't know how's mom's conversation with Lois went, but this was the first time Lois listened without argument, without trying to change the subject." He said smiling.

"True, maybe she's coming round."

"And maybe pigs fly, but it's still more than I had yesterday and I'm gonna take it. I just keep hoping that no matter what happens, if she can just see that I don't want Lana and do love her; then she won't try to find a way to go back with her memory to change anything."

"Well I know how determined you can be, so I'm placing my bet on you." She smiled.

"What are the odds?" He asked with a quirk of his lips.

"They're all on your side buddy, all on your side."

***

They walked in to the kitchen to find his mom cooking and Lana setting the table for lunch, he pitched in to help and when done, sat at the table.

"How was Lois mom, you don't have to tell me anything private but can you just tell me how she was?" Clark asked.

Martha took a seat at the table and the others joined suit. "She's frightened but trying not to show it. I can understand, she comes to the future and finds out it's not at all what she imagined, if she imagined anything and then finds out that Joanne died."

"What'd she say?"

"She said she wrote a letter and asked for it to be delivered if anything happens; and that she wants to be cremated." Martha recounted quietly.

"Shit! Sorry Martha." Chloe apologised and received a smile in understanding.

"I tried to reassure her that we wouldn't let anything happen to her, but it didn't do much good."

"Well, Clark checked her records and it was only on the second day that something significant happened." Chloe put forward hopefully.

"I'll check again anyway. Did she say anything about me mom, anything that you can tell without breaking her confidence I mean."

"Not really honey, I told her that she should get you to take her to your apartment but she doesn't want to."

"Did she say why?"

"She said it would make it too real."

"She doesn't want it to be real."

"No, for her Oliver's just left and he's who she still wants." Martha replied taking hold of his hand.

Clark nodded but his eyes were sad. "It's ironic isn't it; back there I helped them get back together and now …"

"You were in a different place in your life then sweetie."

"Yeah it's called being a pain in the ass teenager." He replied sourly.

"She said that too." Martha chuckled causing them all to join in "Where is Lois?"

"Still in the loft."

"Well lunch will be ready in a few minutes, why don't you give her call?" Martha urged getting up and tugging Clark to his feet. "Maybe have a few words with her, reassure her that we're not going to let anyone harm her."

"Ok, thanks mom." He said kissing her on the cheek and walking out the door.


	18. Chapter 18

I'm glad people are enjoying the story so far, and thank you for the feedback. Now, in this update there is some sex, so you'll have to bypass it if you don't like that kind of thing. More importantly in chapter 20 there is a Lex/Clark convo so be ready for it.

I love Lex and personally I think he was totally shafted by the _'so called'_ good guys, so I'm giving him the voice the writers never gave him. I hold him back a little but it's also pretty full on. However, this is some of the stuff that I think Lex should have had the chance to say to both Clark and Lana, so you have been warned.

Linda

***

**Chapter 18**

Clark entered the barn, walked up the stairs to the loft quietly, and found Lois fast asleep on the couch. He didn't try to awaken her, after this morning he didn't want to chance it and only hoped that she wouldn't sleep long.

He leant against the window and looked at her. Lois was a beautiful woman, but even if she wasn't, he still would have fallen in love with her. With her indomitable spirit and never say die attitude. She was stubborn and pig headed, loud, rude, sarcastic and he loved everything about her. Unlike his infatuation with Lana, he saw Lois clearly, he didn't try to hide from or excuse her less than pleasant social mannerisms; he accepted them as being part of her.

While Chloe had been telling Lois about what she had done in the two years after she left Smallville, he'd found himself enthralled with the story. He'd heard it before, Lois had told him but he'd enjoyed hearing it again nonetheless.

Before she left Smallville, she had come to see him and he'd been sad that she was leaving, He didn't know the whole reason for her leaving; she hadn't told him that until years later. She had only told him she was leaving because she wanted to make something of herself and he admired that. She'd had nothing other than a little money saved up, herself and her will but she'd done it.

He'd been sorry to see her go, they may not have been the best of friends but they liked each other and he was going to miss her. And she'd been right, he had been heading to the loft to brood about Lana, but after she left, he'd thought about her instead, about how she wanted more out of life, and it made him realise that he did too.

Before that day he thought he'd be happy and content with a life on the farm and Lana Lang as his wife, and it scared him how close he'd come to achieving that. Thank god Lana had married Lex. As awful as it was for her, it had saved him; her marriage to Lex had saved him. Although he told Lana he was sorry, deep in his heart he wasn't.

Chloe was right, he and Lois belonged. He'd known that from the moment he came back and saw her again, both their friendship and relationship had had some down times, but they always came through, stronger than before, both of them determined not to lose each other. They could survive anything and thinking of that, his memory stirred to their talk after their fight.

They had talked most of the night, only pausing long enough to eat dinner, and adjourning back to the lounge, her on the couch and he sitting on the edge of the facing recliner, discussing his relationship with Lana, hers with Oliver and their own relationship.

It was almost 3am before they began to wind down, both were flagging, but they had yet to touch on their fight, and knew there were still things that needed to be said, to be resolved and were determined to get it all on the table, and out in the open.

"Lo, I know I was wrong to listen to your conversation with Oliver, and I'm sorry for that, but can I ask if you were tempted to take him back when he asked? I saw you crying after he left and …" he trailed off because he didn't know how to put into words what he wanted to know.

"No Clark I wasn't tempted. I care about Ollie, I always will, he's a nice, decent man, one that I was very close to once. I was crying in regret and melancholy I guess." She smiled ruefully.

"Regret that you broke up years ago and didn't end up with him." He said sadly, nodding his head.

"No, not regret that I didn't end up with him. Regret and sadness for the hurt I felt years ago when he left, and the hurt that I had to inflict on him when I told him no." She paused to take a sip of wine. "I'm sure you remember that I once told you I thought I loved Ollie." At his nod she continued. "I believed he felt the same way about me, and when he left it almost broke my heart. I was hurting like hell and it took me a long time to get over it. I never talked about it with anyone. At that time, Chloe and I weren't as close as we used to be or I might have talked with her, but no one else. I was never one to open up and share my feelings and by the time you and I started dating it was long over. Tonight was the first time you asked about my relationship with him." She said taking another sip of wine.

"If I'd asked before, would you have told me?" He asked curiously.

"Yes. I don't know if I would have told you before we started dating; it was over and I don't think it's healthy to keep raking over dead ashes, but after we started dating, yes." She said quietly.

He nodded in understanding "When he left you seemed to get over it pretty fast, so I just assumed…"

"You assumed wrong. I've always kept my heartache to myself and dealt with it myself." She said matter of fact.

"Are you sorry that he left you?" He looked down to stare into his wine glass but looked back up a moment later.

"I'm sorry that because I didn't trust the Green Arrow, he didn't feel he could tell me the truth, I'm sorry that he never gave me a chance to decide for myself what I wanted, and I'm sorry for the hurt both of us felt when he left, but I'm not sorry that I'm not with him now."

There was quiet for a few minutes before she spoke again.

"You thought I was going to try and hide his visit from you?" She asked softly, at his flush she shook her head. "When Ollie said he was going to tell you about coming to me, I asked him why and the reason was simple really. I wanted to know if he was going to tell you the truth just to clear his conscience, to make himself feel better, or because he felt he owed you the truth." At his confused expression, she explained further. "When some people confess to a misdeed, all they really want is feel better in themselves, and all too often, all they really do is leave the burden on the receiver of the news. When I asked Ollie _why_ he was going to tell you the truth, I wanted to make sure he was doing it for you and not for himself."

"I shouldn't have accused you of trying to hide his visit; you're probably one of the most honest people I know. You always have been, from the moment we met you never held back from telling someone the truth." He said subdued.

"I do lie Clark, everyone does, I'm not a saint but I wouldn't lie about something like that." She replied firmly.

He nodded his head. "I know. Lo, if we hadn't been dating when he came back, would you have given him a chance the other night?"

"I don't know. We were dating, so I can't answer that, but regardless of what you thought, I wasn't trying to, 'keep him in reserve' as a backup." She said pointedly.

He felt his face flush. "I'm sorry, I just thought…."

"You told me what you thought but you were wrong. I'm not into coy games Clark, I never have been. If I'd wanted Ollie back, I would have told him that I had to talk to you first, before anything happened between us, and you would have heard me say that." She paused then looked into his eyes. "When we agreed to start dating, I said ok, but only under one condition, do you remember what it was?"

"That if either of us met someone else, we have to be honest about it, no cheating ever." He replied softly.

"That's right, I'm not a cheater Clark, I detest cheating. If I wanted Ollie back, even if he didn't feel the same way, I would have told you the truth first, no matter how hard it would have been, I would have told you." She said running her fingers through her hair.

"When you told him not to wait for something that might not happen, I thought you were saying that it could or might and…." He put forward hesitantly.

"I see." She nodded. "Haven't you ever spoken without thinking, or said something that came out wrong." At his nod, she resumed. "If I had meant it like that, meant that I wanted him to wait until I knew for sure, you would have heard me tell him that I had to speak to you first, tell you that I was ambivalent in what I wanted, no matter what Clark, you would have heard me say that." She said quietly.

He nodded his head. "I'm sorry Lo, deep down I knew that and I do trust you, I was jealous and angry but I swear I didn't mean what I said." He took a deep breath before stating a truth. "You were happy with him."

"Yes, I was. You know that I was crazy about Ollie and I'm not going to lie about it, but I wasn't tempted to get back with him."

"I'm glad…I um…that night when he was at my place...I was jealous and kinda tried to push him out of your mind you know." He replied shame faced before taking the last swallow of wine and placing the glass on the coffee table.

"I know, I worked it out after you left, believe me, you have no idea the names I was calling you because of it."

"I didn't realise it until afterwards, I'm sorry Lo; I never meant to turn our love life into a competition between me and him."

"Well it was pretty pointless as Ollie and I never slept together." She stated, smiling slightly at the abashed look on his face.

"Never!" He didn't realise until now how much he'd needed to hear that, but he also knew that regardless, it wouldn't have changed his feelings about her.

"No, we came close but we didn't. We were supposed to go away together but he left instead, so no, we never did."

"Is it wrong that I'm glad about that too?" He asked smiling slightly.

"Not wrong, I'd say that just makes you a typical person, who doesn't like to remember that the person they're involved with, had been with anyone before them; had a life that didn't include them."

"Have you ever felt like that about me and Lana?" He asked curious.

"No." Her voice was calm and sure and he heard the conviction in it. "Neither of us were newly hatched from eggs when we got involved. If I thought that you had any romantic feeling for Lana, no matter how small, I never would have gone out with you in the first place. A relationship's hard enough with two people but add unrequited feelings for a third person into the mix, and it becomes impossible." She finished quietly.

He nodded in agreement then asked the question that he could no longer repress. "Lo, before tonight, you and I hadn't talked about my relationship with Lana, well not in great detail anyway, but shortly after we started sleeping together, I told you that I had only been with Lana once, just after the meteor shower and no one else until you."

"Uh huh."

"Did you believe me?"

"I believed you."

"Then why…?"

"Why did I throw her in your face earlier?"

"Yeah."

"Because I was hurt and angry and I wanted to see how you felt being called a liar and a cheat."

"I'm sorry." He said remorsefully.

"I am too. It was a low blow and I shouldn't have said it." She smiled apologetically.

"It's ok."

"No!" She shook her head. "It's not ok. I could try and excuse it as part of my military upbringing, you know, dirty tactics and striking at the heart of the enemy, and it would be true, but only partially. I'd had three days of thinking about what you said and when it came right down to it, I just wanted to hurt you as badly as you hurt me. It was plain out and out bitchiness. We both screwed up, not just you. You just screwed up more." She said with a slight smile.

"True. I was scared Lo, scared that I was going to lose you, scared that you were going to take him back. I love you and I just; ….." He gestured with his hand and shrugged lightly.

"I know." She took a deep breath before continuing. "Clark I can't tell you that I'm in love with you. I can tell you that you mean a lot to me, that I care about you and that you made me happy, but I don't think that's what you want." She smiled sadly. "You can't kid yourself; you want more and I don't blame you, but I don't think getting back together would be fair on either of us." She sat forward on the couch, and twirled the glass in her hand.

"You're wrong Lo, it is what I want. I can't lie and say I don't want you to love me, but you've never made me feel less, you've never made me feel like you're with me just because of great sex, or because you can't find someone else. I felt loved, I'm just sorry that my jealousy led to this." He said quietly.

"That's what I mean; you could only have been jealous about Ollie because something was missing in our relationship, because you weren't as happy or satisfied with everything as you thought you were. You said it yourself, you were jealous before Ollie came to see me."

"I was a fool, I knew it that first night, but jealousy isn't rational. Haven't you ever been jealous, you know that it can't be explained, it just is." He kept his voice reasonable and restrained. He had to make her understand that he'd never felt short changed in their relationship.

"Yes I've been jealous before, but what we had isn't ever going to be enough." She said sadly.

"Yes it is! It always has been. I haven't spent the past months trying to make you love me or dissatisfied because you don't. I've spent the past months loving you and feeling loved by you. I don't want anyone else; I don't want to try with anyone else. It's you or no one Lo." He said quietly desperate.

"No" She shook her head, pressed her lips together and tried to smile "I wish I could give you what you want, and I'm truly sorry that I can't, so no." Her eyes filled with tears, and hearing the resolution in her voice, his heart lurched.

"You've already given me more than what I asked for. You know that I've loved you since I came back, it took me 18 months just to get you to go out with me, and I had to fudge the truth just to do that. I had to pretend that I just felt friendship so that I wouldn't scare you off, but I've loved you all the time, I told you that when you tried to break up with me remember?" He urged.

When she nodded, he pressed on. "I told you then that all I want is to love you, that I loved you enough for both of us, and I swear Lo, it was the truth."

"How can it be? This whole thing has just made me realise that one day you're going to want more, I don't blame you for that, I blame myself, because I should have said no before. I can't give you what you need." She said wiping her hand over her cheeks.

"You can! You already have." He took a deep breath to calm his pounding heart. "Just be with me, let me be with you, that's all I want. That's more than I ever thought I'd have, it's more than a lot of people have. I was happy Lo, really happy, just watching movies, talking, spending time together, even when we made love I never felt you were holding back. I was happy." Seeing the doubt and hesitation on her face he got to his feet and squatted down in front of her. "I love you baby, I always will, there will never be anyone else for me. If you send me away today, I'll be back tomorrow and the next day and the next, because I just want _you._"

She leant forward and laid her face against his shoulder. "You deserve to have someone who loves you back Clark. I can't promise that and I don't want you to come to resent me, to hate me, and I think holding onto you would just be selfish."

He took the wine glass out of her hand and placed it on the coffee table before picking her up and sitting down on the couch with her in his lap and her head resting on his shoulder. "I'll never resent you or hate you Lo, never! You already gave me more than I knew was possible to have." He bent his head and kissed her, keeping the pressure light before silently urging her mouth to open and slipping his tongue inside to move it softly and gently against hers. When he felt her hand on his cheek, he placed his on top and deepened the kiss before reluctantly parting their lips, then hugged her close and buried his face against neck. "I love you Lo and I want you to be selfish….to keep me; because god knows I'm being selfish with you, the thought of losing you tears my heart out. Please baby, don't send me away. Don't shut me out, give us both another chance, please." He honestly didn't know if he could let her go if she refused.

She hesitated for so long that his heart began to pound harder and it was only when she finally nodded and quietly whispered, "Ok." that he let go of the breath he didn't realise he'd been holding.

He pressed his lips against her forehead, closed his eyes and held her close, thanking god she hadn't said no again. When he had come here tonight, he'd thought that even if he lost her as his girlfriend, he had to make it right if only to keep her in his life. But he'd always known that he would never have given up. He'd spoken the truth, if she'd sent him away today, he would have been back tomorrow, and kept coming back, she was the one person he needed more than any other, and his heart wouldn't have let him give up until she was back in his arms.

They sat like that for a while longer, talking quietly until they both started falling asleep. "Can I stay?" He asked quietly.

When she nodded her head, he stood up, set her on her feet, grasped her hand in his and walked into the bedroom. "What are those?" He asked pointing at the boxes stacked in the corner of her room.

Those turned out to be boxes of his possessions that she'd packed up ready to give back to him. They didn't bother undressing; just lay down before simultaneously turning to hold each other.

In the morning he drifted awake to find himself alone on the bed and almost panicked until he used his senses and found her in the kitchen. Lois was obviously fresh from a shower, her hair was slightly damp and moist perfumed air was swirling into the bedroom from the open en-suite door. She was quietly standing in her robe, looking out the kitchen window sipping orange juice.

He wondered how she could have got up without waking him, but soon realised that as he'd had next to no sleep since their fight, exhaustion had finally overtaken him after their long talk and reconciliation the night before.

He quickly showered, shaved and pulled on a pair of a track pants from one of the boxes, before leaving the bedroom to join her. Quietly entering the kitchen he walked up behind her, slid his arms around her waist and drew her back against himself. "Good morning."

"Morning."

Bending down he kissed the back of her neck, before slipping his hand inside her robe to rub over her tummy. He thought after talking the previous night that everything was ok, but wondered if he'd been wrong when she grabbed and stilled his hand.

"Clark, we're going to be late for work."

"So we'll be late. Lo is everything alright, are we….are we alright?" He asked quietly.

"Yes, we're alright." She replied turning and wrapping her arms around him.

"I'm sorry Lo."

"I know, but Clark we've talked about it and it's over so we're not going to bring it up again ok?"

"Ok."

He was grateful that Lois wasn't the type of woman who held onto resentment, raking up old arguments again and again. It was funny that years ago he'd never noticed that Lana did that, she picked and picked and kept on. At the time he'd thought that she had every right to do so, and had played up to her over and over. It was only after he left, after he was finally free of his infatuation that he realised it was just one of her neurosis, that she held onto grudges and hurt feelings in a bid to get her own way. And yet, Lois who could be like a bulldog; was the type of woman who discussed things, no matter how difficult, got it all out in the open, and once dealt with, left it behind and moved on. He thanked god that when he fell in love, truly in love, he fell for a woman who had such a beautiful character.

"I want to make love with you."

"We don't have time."

"I know but after everything I just want to be with you again, I've missed you like hell." He said hugging her closer.

"I've missed you too." She replied quietly lifting her face and pulling his head down to hers.

He ran his hands over her back, pulled down the edge of her robe and breaking the kiss pressed his lips to the scented skin of her shoulder before returning to reclaim her mouth. Placing his hand on her jaw, he pushed his tongue past her teeth into her mouth and danced it around hers, exploring all the crevices, over the roof and across her teeth before coaxing her tongue to follow his in the dance. He'd missed her, missed this, her taste, her smell and feel.

Lifting one hand he gently dragged the silk of her robe back and forth over her breasts; and feeling the nipples peak and harden, lifted his other hand to cup her breasts in both palms. He held them for a moment just feeling their weight, then began to gently squeeze and mould them, lightly rolling the nipples in his fingers. She gasped into his mouth, dragged hers free and panted next to his cheek, but he turned his head and locked his lips onto hers again, groaning in his throat when she complied and opened her mouth wider at his urging.

Wrapping his arms around her he brought her flush against him. Her arms were wrapped around his neck, one hand running through his hair while the other stroked high on his back. The feel of her breasts crushed against his bare chest with only the silk between them felt delicious. Keeping his mouth fastened to hers, he stepped back, sat on the edge of the kitchen table, drew her between his spread legs and trailing one hand from her back, pushed aside the edges of her robe before drawing her closer to gently rub her breasts across his chest, raising one hand he pressed down lightly on her back, so the soft mounds were slightly crushed while the nipples dragged with each movement.

When their mouths broke apart again to take deep gulps of air, he lowered his face to rub his cheek back and forth across her breasts, and catching a nipple in his mouth sucked gently for a moment, before letting it go to take her lips in another deep hard kiss.

His hands smoothed over her back and down to her thighs before reversing direction, lifting her short robe until it was bunched around his arms, and his hands were sitting familiarly and possessively on her bottom. One hand rubbed over the smooth globes, while the other slid around to the front and his fingers tangled in the soft curls on her mound.

He pulled his mouth free, kissed her collar bone and looked down at his hand, before looking back up and catching her eyes with his. He knew the heat in her eyes was reflected in his own and when his hand slid lower and his fingers ran between the folds and crevices of the flesh between her thighs, he saw the desire in her eyes flare higher.

Her breasts were pink and flushed with arousal, moisture seeped onto his fingers and when he pushed one finger inside, her legs began to shake as her inner muscles clenched around the invading digit. She pressed her face against his shoulder and sliding a second finger in to join the first, he moved them around gently. Turning his head, his mouth latched onto hers again, his groans matching her cries, and pulling his hand free, he stroked it hard up her back and into her hair to hold her mouth against his, drowning out her protests at his withdrawal.

Her arms were like bands around his neck, her body pressed tight against him, he lifted his mouth from hers allowing them both to breathe freely "Bedroom, now" he grated, before locking his arms tighter around her waist to haul her even closer and bending down crushed her lips with his. They stumbled through the apartment, knocking into furniture and walls, hands caressing, mouths joined, stopping every now and again to press against each other.

He stopped their faltering momentum in the hallway, pressed her up against the wall, pulled her robe off, buried one hand in her hair and bent to kiss and suck at her neck while she tugged and pushed his pants off before curling her hand around him.

Feeling her hand slide up and down his shaft, he knew they'd never make it to the bedroom and no longer cared. He kneed her legs open, slid his hands under her bottom, lifted her up and slid inside, groaning deep in his throat at the feel of her snug muscles surrounding him.

Closing his mouth over hers, his tongue began a game of advance and retreat, mimicking the movements of his body. There was no finesse, no soft words, just raw feeling. He needed her, they needed each other. He pulled his mouth from hers and buried his face in her neck while his engorged penis continued to plunge in and out of her welcoming softness.

Her arms were wrapped around his back, her legs locked tight around his hips, holding onto her hip with one hand, he used the other to tug one of her arms free from around his back and stretching her arm out high against the wall, held it in place by locking his fingers with hers, then bent down and took as much of her breast into his mouth as he could, scraping his teeth over the nipple and sucking strongly. Pressing his body harder against hers to hold her in place, he tugged her other arm from around his back, and holding both her arms over her head, moved his mouth back and forth, rasping his tongue and teeth over the nipples, sucking on one then the other and back again, her shaken cries matching his groans as she began to thrash around.

Feeling her pushing and grinding down frantically, he let go of her arms, and flexing the hand on her hip to keep her steady, his other hand slid between their bodies to where they were joined. He flicked his finger softly over the hard nub nestled there causing her to gasp and arch up, but his fingers kept up the relentless movement, firmly circling and massaging the bud, and hearing her breathless pleading, he began to thrust more eagerly inside her. She screamed before biting down hard on his shoulder, her short nails scoring across his shoulder blades while she continued to tremble and shake.

Wrapping his arms tight around her waist, he gasped out for her to hold on tight and dropped to his knees before forcefully impaling her over and over on his throbbing shaft. She began to writhe and sob against his neck; her short nails dug in and dragged through his scalp, before her arms hooked tight around his shoulders. Hearing her choked gasps and muffled cries against his throat, feeling her arms locked tight around him and knowing that his movements had caught her by surprise, he began thrusting into her with ever increasing fury, determined to take her higher before gaining his own release.

Grasping a fist full of his hair she pulled his mouth to hers, their tongues duelling and mating, matching the driving rhythm of his thrusts. Tearing her mouth away she panted harshly against his throat and with a piercing shriek, he felt the shudders wrack her frame, her fingers clenched hard into his hair before falling to lie limply against his chest, and her head dropped to lie heavily on his shoulder. Feeling her quivering muscles pulsing and squeezing his penis, he flexed his hips and began to drive into her faster and after a few more quick hard thrusts he finally found the sweet release he'd been reaching for, and his deep guttural cries joined her soft ones.

Keeping her tucked in against his body, he fell against the wall before slowly sliding face down to the floor. Knowing that he couldn't stop his forward momentum he quickly turned, pulled her legs from around his waist, and twining their legs together, landed on his back with her lying safely on top of him. He could feel their hearts hammering against each other, her harsh breathing in accord with his own, until finally her heart slowed down and she rolled off to lie at his side.

They lay on the hallway floor completely oblivious to the passage of time, but when she curled up to his side looking for warmth, he picked her up, walked into the bedroom, placed her on the bed and lay down beside her.

"I'm sorry Lo, did I hurt your back?" He asked softly, turning his face on the pillow to look at her.

"Who cares?" She replied drowsily, opening one eye and patting him on the arm before closing it again.

"Is it sore?" He asked in alarm.

"No, it's really not, it'll probably hurt a little tonight but it was worth it." She smiled.

"Lo I don't ever want to hurt you, and especially not when we make love."

"Clark, you have never hurt me when we've made love, never. You always make sure to take care that I'm not hurt. My shoulder blades will probably hurt a little tonight and that's all, ok?" She opened her eyes to show him she was sincere, and seeing that he understood, nodded slightly before closing her eyes again.

"I'll rub them up, give you a massage." He offered, leaning over to kiss her cheek.

"Just can't keep your hands off me, can you?" She teased lightly and yawned.

"Nope and I don't intend to start now."

She was lying with her eyes closed and looked ready for a nice long nap, but he hadn't had enough of her, not nearly enough. He hadn't made love to her in three days and knowing the desperate edge he'd felt at almost losing her had only been blunted, he wasn't ready to stop yet.

Leaning over supine form, he bent down and kissed her lightly, his palm slid down her torso, and rubbed her stomach before skimming down to cup her swollen sex.

"We don't have time." She said quietly, stilling his hand as she had earlier.

"We'll make time." He whispered back before bending to take her mouth again in a deep kiss.

His hands slipped under her back to lift her up slightly, his lips nuzzled at her jaw before trailing from her cheek, to her ear, to tug gently on the lobe before returning to capture her lips once again.

She began to stir, her hands roaming down his arms, across his shoulders and back and down to his bottom and taking her with him, he rolled over so she was lying on top, their mouths joined, tongues danced, while hands continued their mutual exploring.

He rolled back, leant up on one elbow and watched as his hand slid low on her stomach and down. His fingers parted the folds, softly rubbing over and around, and using only the lightest of touches began to stimulate the sensitive bud. Sliding a finger inside, he moved it around gently in the way he knew she liked, while his thumb continued to stroke indirectly over the bud with the barest of touches.

He tore his eyes from his hand to look at her face, and seeing her biting her lip, her body shaking slightly, he bent and took a nipple into his mouth sucking strongly, pulling his head back slightly to draw the tip out to the fullest, before easing it back down and sucking again, all the while his hand continued to tease and torment the flesh between her thighs. When she began to pant and whimper, he moved his fingers faster and feeling her tip over the edge, gathered her close and caught her soft cries in his mouth.

When she was finally still, he tucked her under him and taking his time, pushed gently but firmly past delicate swollen tissue until his penis was sitting snugly inside her warm channel, and once there he rested. He smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her gently "Open your eyes Lo" when her glazed eyes opened, he caught them with his, grasped her thighs in his hands, and circled his hips to get as comfortable and deep inside as he could without hurting her, then bent down and touched his lips to the hollow of her throat, before framing her face in his hands "I love you Lois Lane, I love everything about you. From your beautiful compassionate heart, to your biting sense of humour, I even love when you get angry because there's no chocolate or coffee."

One arm curved around her back pressing her up against him, while his other hand slid down to caress her thigh riding high on his hip. He began to slowly and steadily move in and out, but wouldn't let go of her eyes; he wanted her to look into his soul, and see everything he felt written there "I don't care how many lovers you've had Lo, I'm just glad that you're now with me." He thrust inside gently before withdrawing and pushing inside again.

Her eyes filled "There haven't been many."

"I don't care how many there were. I swear baby, I don't care. There's only you and me now and that's all that matters." He said softly, continuing to thrust slowly and gently in and out.

He wanted to close his eyes and drown in sensation, to enjoy the luxurious feeling of being surrounded by her after feeling so empty for days, but more than anything he wanted her to see the truth; that _she_ was what mattered, _they _were what mattered, not the past, not past lovers, just them.

Their loving was easy and fluid, he wanted to take his time "I never thought I'd feel this again, never thought you'd take me back. I'll never hurt you like that again, Lo, never." He vowed wiping away her tears with his thumb before bending down to kiss her softly.

His hands moved down to cup her bottom and holding her steady he circled his hips, before smoothly pulling out and gently pushing back in, burying his face in the side of her neck, he closed his eyes and savoured the feeling of having her back in his arms.

He loved to feel her surrounding him, to feel her arms wrapped around him, her hands caressing, her breasts gently massaged against his chest, her nipples hard little points that stabbed, his tummy sliding against hers, her legs clasping his body close, her wet tight channel caressing him, all while he moved in and out of her. His arms wrapped tight around her slim waist and gently crushed her closer. Lifting his head, he placed his hand against her cheek, "I love you so much baby, so much." He whispered bending down to kiss her softly before slipping his tongue inside to lazily tangle and play with hers, while his penis continued to flow in and out of her passage in an unhurried rhythm.

When their release came it was like a gentle rain. Their earlier loving had been like summer storm, fast, furious and over, two people who had been lonely and miserable, but this was a healing; they had found each other again and were back where they belonged.

Afterwards they lay on their sides, holding each other close "I'm so sor…."

"Shhh, I know." She lifted her hand from his mouth and kissed him softly. "But it's over now, and we have to put it behind us, ok?"

"Ok." He whispered.

They had been extremely late to work but neither of them cared, and when they were called into Perry's office to get a tongue lashing for missing half a day of work, after already having a three day vacation, they held their tongues and didn't say a word about two of those days being the weekend. Perry must have noticed that neither of them tried to defend themselves, because he ended up smiling and kicking them out of his office with the warning that he expected something extra special from them.

When he gave her the necklace a few days later, they argued again, count and counter point was made and discussed, and in the end he had to be satisfied that she would wear it, but only under protest. They had made love and he was feeling nice and relaxed, very contented when she rose up, straddled his legs, put her hands on his chest, leant forward and looked him in the eye.

"I'm only going to say this once and then it's never going to be brought up again. About you chasing Lana when she was engaged to Lex."

"Lo, I was an idiot, if I could change that I would, but I can't. Are you ok with it?" He asked anxiously.

"Clark hush, we've already discussed it, you know how I feel, and it wasn't all you. I can't condone either of your behaviour, but it's in the past and we need to leave it there, ok?"

He nodded in agreement and his hands which were smoothing up and down the thighs either side of him, trailed up the side of her hips to her waist, down to her bottom, and up her back, over her shoulders, down across her breasts, to her stomach and had just started to make the return journey when he heard her speak.

"But..."

Hearing her voice, his eyes shot to her face. "But…?"

"But if you ever try that shit with me, chase after someone else, being Superman won't save you from my wrath." She promised solemnly.

"Baby, there is no way that's ever going to happen; I'm more scared of you than I am Kryptonite." He responded promptly and sincerely.

"Good, just make sure it stays that way."

He absently nodded his head, his eyes once again on the beauty before him.

"Hey, my face is up here buddy." She said tipping his chin up, and seeing the twinkle in her eye and the quirk on her lips, he pouted.

"How do you expect me to concentrate with all this bounty in front of me?" He asked genuinely curious, causing her to fall on his chest shrieking with laughter. When her giggles finally calmed down to hiccupping gasps, he asked what was so funny, and she laughingly told him that all that talk about intelligent life from other planets was so much bull, that aliens were no more intelligent than any other 14 year old boy when faced with a pair of boobs. He couldn't disagree.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

When Lois began to stir, he quickly turned to face the window and closed his eyes tight. He hoped that his fiancé would come back to him but if she didn't, if he had to find her, if he had to bring her back from wherever she was, if he had to fight her younger self, or if he had to join her he would. She was his life, she was everything and he wouldn't let go.

"Small…Clark, how long was I asleep?" Lois asked stretching and sitting up.

"Not long, how are you doing?" He turned back to face her and smiled.

"I'm ok, you?"

"The same."

"Lo."

"Hmm."

"Can we talk?"

"I thought we were."

"No I mean really talk."

"What about?"

"Us."

"Clark…"

"Please."

"There's no point, either I'm going to go back not remembering anything, in which case nothing will change, or I'm going to die." She said pushing the hair out of her face.

"You're not going to die."

"You don't know that."

"Yes I do, I'm not going to lose my fiancé Lo, and I don't care who I have to fight to ensure that, but you left out an option, you go back remembering everything and change our lives." He replied softly but clearly.

"Yeah."

"I know you don't believe….no you don't want to believe everything I've told you but it is true."

"Clark look, you're a nice guy but you're just not who I want, you're not the kind of guy I'm attracted to. I'm sorry, I know you probably think I'm being stubborn and inflexible but if your younger self was here, he'd agree with me." She gestured apologetically with her hands.

He walked over and sat beside her on the couch, turning his body to face her. "I know, but I was an idiot then Lo. What you said was true, I was attracted to Lana's looks and built up a whole fairytale in my head about the two of us. I really believed that I loved her but I never did." He paused, and reached out to take her hand. "When we met up at the Planet again I was no longer a kid, I wanted more than a pretty face and with you I found it. We're friends Lo, real friends. I knew most everything about you and even the stuff that used to piss me off I didn't try to ignore or overlook, I accepted it as part of you. In you, I found a woman who had a whole lot more to offer than a just pretty face, the sad part is, she was there for a long time but I was too blind to see it." He said with a grimace before giving her hand a squeeze and letting go.

"Not so sad, I wouldn't have been interested." She smiled.

"Yeah there is that." He smiled back.

"I'm sorry about this morning…calling you Ollie I mean." She said apologetically.

"That's ok. Joanne and I have talked about her relationship with Oliver so I know how hurt you were when he left. I just wish I was more attentive back then so I could have been a real friend for you to talk too when you needed it." He replied regretfully.

"You had other things on your mind."

"You mean someone else, Lana."

"Yeah but it wouldn't have made any difference; I wouldn't have talked about it anyway." She shrugged.

"I know but I still wish I'd been there for you instead of being so wrapped in Lana that I didn't notice or care."

"Can I ask you something in relation to your feelings for Joanne?" Lois asked curiously.

He nodded his head; she'd never asked him about their relationship. She'd had a lot to say about it, but she had never asked, and he hoped that by asking, her resistance was easing.

"What do Lana and I have in common?"

"What'd you mean?"

"I mean other than being the same sex, what do we have in common?"

"Nothing that I can think off."

"That's what I find so confusing. I heard what you said, I really did but it just doesn't make sense how you can you go from being nuts about someone like Lana, to liking someone like me? If Lana and I were one person, we'd be Jekyll and Hyde, literally. We have nothing in common."

"Yeah, but you know Lo, I'm grateful for that." He said with a smile.

"Grateful; why?"

"Because at least you can't accuse me of falling for a Lana clone. I fell for Lana when I was a child, and talked myself into believing it was love when I was an immature horny teenager. If I'd been most any other teenage guy, I would have wanted to nail her at best..." He broke off when Lois started to laugh. "What's so funny?" He asked grinning.

Lois tried to catch her breath but at the confusion on his face laughed harder. "Sorry, sorry but hearing Clark Kent saying the word 'nail' in reference to Lana Lang kind of tickled my funny bone. Usually when you talk about Lana it's so reverent it's almost nauseating. I expected you to say something along the lines of 'imagining yourself marrying her in a field of orange blossom trees', not nail" she snorted before laughing again which set him off as well.

"Yeah well, I've grown up, remember your Harley analogy." He asked smiling.

"Yeah, that was a good one; I should have saved it for someone else." She grinned and knocked his leg with hers.

"No it was good; I was just too much of a boy to appreciate it. Anyway I found out that you were my Harley."

"Clark…"

"Of course when I told you that, you just thanked me, patted me on the arm and said that I was your tricycle." He chuckled causing her to snicker and they ended up with her head on his shoulder and his head bent over hers laughing hysterically.

"Hey you two lunch is ready." Lana said from the top of the stairs. "I volunteered to call you both in, so unless you're not hungry…" She trailed off.

"We're coming." Lois turned around to address Lana, before turning back to Clark. "Thanks, I think I needed that laugh, you were usually pretty good company when you weren't being a pain."

"Yeah but did you listen?"

"Do I ever listen to you?" She asked pointedly.

"No, but that's beside the point. I'm hoping to influence you while you're still young and malleable." He said with a leer.

She snorted. "Smallville, I was never that malleable, but you know, between your mom, Chloe and you, I'm coming to see that while ending up with you is not what I want, it also wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." She punched him in the shoulder and headed for the stairs, exchanging a smile with Lana before heading down and out the barn.

***

Lois ate lunch quietly while silently stewing over the event that had happened in the barn earlier. She'd gone back and forth, tried to look at it from all angles but she was never one to hide from the truth and wasn't going to start now.

At first she thought she'd imagined it, but that was bullshit, she knew what she saw, it was gone so fast that she almost missed it, but she'd seen the look on Lana's face before she'd had time to repress it, and if her look was any indication, Lana hated the hell out of her.

She'd wondered why no one seemed to realise that Lana loved Clark but she'd bet anything that Joanne knew. If she hadn't already figured it out before, Joanne would have known had she ever caught that look on Lana's face. And she'd take her bet and double it because there was no way that Joanne hadn't been the recipient of that look herself.

She and Clark had only been talking and laughing, yet the jealousy and hate on Lana's face was almost tangible, so it was logical that if Joanne and Clark were affectionate and Lana had been around, there was no way that Lana would have been able to suppress how she felt and Joanne would have seen it.

The only question was why did no one else know? She and Lana weren't the best friends, more friendly acquaintances but unlike Clark, Chloe and most everyone else in town, she'd never seen Lana through rose coloured glasses. Lana had always been self serving and sly and although there were times she cared about other people, those times were few and far between. Lana had always looked out for herself first and foremost.

It was obvious that everyone thought Lana and Joanne were friends, but there was no doubt in her mind; none; that Lana hated Joanne, and however Joanne felt about being the recipient of such an emotion, she wouldn't have considered Lana a friend.

Ok, so why hadn't Joanne told anyone. Had she not said anything to Clark because she thought he wouldn't believe her, or didn't she want Clark to know that the girl he used to love hated his fiancé to the point that she wished her harm. There was no doubt in her mind that if Lana could get away with it, she'd despatch Joanne in a heartbeat. She wanted to laugh at that, at Lana being able to kill anyone, especially someone as skilled in firearms and martial arts as she was, but she couldn't laugh because she really believed if Lana could somehow kill Joanne, she would.

She shivered slightly, she'd never had anyone hate her so much or so fiercely. Why hadn't Joanne told anyone, if not Clark then why not Chloe or Mrs Kent? She wanted to tell someone, the words wanted to burst out of her throat, but if Joanne hadn't said anything, she must have had good reason and she didn't think it was for Lana's benefit.

This morning she'd found out some unknown person wanted to kill her, and now she thought she might have found someone else who wouldn't mind doing the job herself.

All she'd wanted from the time she first found herself here was to go back to her own time, but now she was worried, she didn't want Joanne to come back, not to this. If no one knew how Lana felt, then there was nothing to stop Lana from hurting Joanne and no one would ever suspect her. She was sure that Lana was intending to hurt Joanne, and more than likely it would be on the day Joanne married Clark.

That was what this was about, Joanne was with Clark and Lana hated her for it, but according to the story she'd heard, Joanne and Clark had only been together for 18 months, and he'd been back for at least that long before they'd started dating, so it wasn't like Lana couldn't have gotten him back if she wanted. Did Lana only realise how she felt after Clark was no longer available?

God this was the Lana, Lex, Clark situation all over again. Clark broke up with Lana, and wanted her back only after she was with Lex. He hated Lex for 'stealing' Lana and blamed him completely and totally for everything, refusing to accept that Lana had gone to Lex of her own free will.

Now it seemed that the same story was playing out, but with a different player in the mix. Now it was Joanne, Clark and Lana and this time, Lana wanted Clark back and she'd bet anything Lana completely and totally blamed Joanne for everything. The two of them gave her a headache. She'd told him that if she ended up with him, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, she must have been insane.

She'd wondered if Lana was responsible for everything, but that seemed too unlikely and what was the point? To get Joanne out of the way just to get Clark back but if so, why bring her here? Lana wouldn't have achieved anything, because even though she didn't want to admit it, she had been the recipient of Clark's time and attention, not Lana.

And would Lana really be stupid enough to think she could hurt Joanne and Clark would be flattered and ok with it?

Older Clark was something of an enigma to her, but there was one thing she knew without doubt that hadn't changed between the Clark she was familiar with and this Clark. He would never condone Lana hurting anyone just to be with him, and Lana would know that.

Young Clark, oh screw that, she'd call him Skipper, mentally nodding to herself, Skipper revelled in any attention Lana threw his way, and he was usually blind to her machinations, but if Lana took to thinking she could do what she wanted, that she was above the law, Skipper's eyes would soon be opened and his moral radar wouldn't allow him to stay in blissful ignorance for long, no matter how much he loved her.

Besides even though Skipper hated Lex and there were times she thought he wouldn't mind despatching him to the afterlife, he'd never done it. He resented Lex, blamed him and there wasn't anything anyone could say otherwise to change his mind, but he hadn't tried to kill Lex and more than likely, Lex had been the recipient of the same look from Skipper that she was now getting from Lana.

Realising Lana hated her; on top of finding out someone wanted her dead had made her imagination run wild. She was over reacting to everything. She'd never done that, usually she kept a cool head. Ok, so Lana hated her, and looked like she wanted to kill her, but more than likely just as Skipper had done, Lana would continue to resent her but not actually do anything. If she had already tried Joanne would have said something, she would never have kept it a secret. She still didn't understand why Joanne never said anything but she'd take a leaf out of her own book, and keep it to herself for now.

"Lois…Lois," hearing Chloe call her name and feeling Clark shaking her arm she looked at the occupants of the table and wondered why everyone was looking concerned.

"What's wrong, what'd I miss?" She asked.

"Are you ok?" Chloe frowned.

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"Because you zoned out Lo. That's what happened last night, are you sure you're alright?" Clark said before Chloe could speak.

"Yeah sorry, I was thinking and …."

"God Lo don't do that again, you scared the hell out of us." Chloe cut in.

Looking around the table she could see that at least three occupants had been concerned, but now that she knew how Lana felt, she could also see the calculation under the veneer of worry.

"I'm sorry honey, I was just thinking." She said getting up and hugging Chloe from behind. Chloe wrapped her hand around her arm and squeezed before letting go, Lois returned to her seat with an apologetic look at everyone and seeing the looks on Chloe and Martha's face and the fear in Clark's eyes, she silently promised to keep any further introspection for when she was alone.

***

Once lunch was finished everyone pitched in to clear the table and wash up and in no time the kitchen was clear. As Chloe and Martha decided to get back to baking, and had refused the offers of help, the other three sat at the table deciding how to keep occupied.

"Well I think I'm going to go for a run." Lois said pushing up from the table. "I don't really blame Chlo and your mom for refusing my help with the cooking." She said sulkily "Although I am thinking of one day taking a cooking course. Ok, not a cooking course, but I have watched a couple of cooking shows on TV and it doesn't look that hard." She said loudly and pointedly. "I know how to build a homemade bomb so a cake can't be all that difficult." she said raising her voice when no one answered.

Seeing the smiles his mom and Chloe threw in Lois' direction and enjoying their attempt to play deaf to her gibing remarks Clark wished he could agree. But after being the recipient of her 'treats' on numerous occasions and knowing that he would be expected to eat them for the rest of his life, he couldn't help wishing that would be the only thing Lois changed; her bizarre belief that she was the undiscovered Betty Crocker. She didn't need to make a bomb to take out her enemies, her cooking would do the trick, god knows it was just as deadly. Deciding not to touch any of her remarks he quickly changed the subject.

"We can still go to Metropolis if you like." Clark offered.

"It's a three hour drive, by the time we get there, we'll have to turn around and come right back." Lois responded dryly.

"Not if I fly us there."

"How does that work exactly? Are you like Peter Pan and think happy thoughts?" When Clark began to laugh, and the others joined in at hearing the question, Lois called out indignantly "Hey it's a fair enough question."

"No I don't have to think happy thoughts to fly, I just…fly."

"You know that's pretty amazing, Luce and I used to play a game when we were kids, you know, if you could fly or be invisible which would you pick."

"You picked invisible." Clark said with a knowing grin.

"Joanne told you huh?"

"Hmm hmm, she said it was a shame I couldn't make myself invisible but at least she could save on air fares." He said with a laugh "She believes in being practical."

"True. Ok, but I really feel like going for a run first, if I still feel like it, can we do it after I get back?" Lois asked.

"Yeah we can but Lo, you just ate lunch, a runs not a good idea."

"I know but I'll keep it short. I haven't had one for two days and I really feel like it, besides it might wake me up some." She smiled.

"I'll come with you."

"Clark I'll be fine on my own or I'll take Shelby with me. Does that cute little girl dog still live down the road?"

"Yeah and he still sneaks down to see her."

"There you go, I'll take him with me and he can see his girlfriend. Although at their ages it can only be geriatric canine love." She nodded her head in approval of her idea.

"Geriatric canine love?" Clark asked in amusement.

"Well yeah, a dog is 7 years to a human. Its 8 years from where I was, so they both have to be pushing 60 at least. That's kind of cute when you think about it. I mean does he still have it in him to be a goer, or do they just sit around barking at all the younger dogs and the stupid things they do?" Lois wondered aloud.

"Lo, you've really gotta get a hobby." Chloe laughed shaking her head.

"Yeah, I think you're right, ok well I'm off." Lois said swinging around to the stairs but turning back at Chloe's next question.

"Lois wait, what if something happens?" Chloe cut in quietly.

"Well I was thinking about that and what you all said before makes sense. If someone's doing this to get at Superman, then more than likely they're not going to try again, but if they do Shelby will sound the alarm. Besides, let's face it, there's nothing I can do, and I refuse to live like a prisoner waiting for the other shoe to drop."

"Ok, but would you mind if I kept an ear on you?" Clark asked quietly.

"What'd you mean?'

"You know on your heartbeat."

"You can hear my heartbeat?"

"Yeah."

"How do you know mine from someone else's? I mean if you can hear everything; then how can you distinguish one heartbeat from another?" she asked curiously.

Looking around and seeing the questioning looks on everyone's face, Clark smiled "Usually I can't, unless the person has asthma or an arithmetic heartbeat something like that, then it's almost impossible, but I know yours."

"Oh!"

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah, it's just kind of um, I don't know but I'm ok."

"Does it creep you out?" He asked softly.

"No, it doesn't creep me out; it just takes some getting used to. You'll have to fill me in later on what you can do. Sorry I know you already told me but I don't think I took it all in." Shaking her head she smiled. "Anyway, I'm just going up to change."

"Are you sure you don't want company?"

"I'll have company, Shelby, so unless someone's planning to hit me with a barn door or some other house hold bits and pieces I'll be fine." She paused, missing the amused grins flying around the room. "Hey, unless the barn door a few months ago was supposed to take me out. Pretty stupid way to try and kill someone though." She contemplated.

"Um, that was me."

"What was you?"

"The barn door, that was me."

"You tried to hit me with a barn door?! Gees Clark, I know we had our issues but I didn't think you were trying to get rid of me. You're not exactly Dorothy and I'm not the wicked witch." She paused for a heartbeat then added; "although come to think of it, I have been called a bitch so maybe you just got confused." She gibed good natured.

"It was an accident Lo; I don't think you're a witch or anything else. I had a cold or something which made me sneeze and the barn door flew off. That was when I first got super breath." He wanted to laugh at the proud look on her face for annoying some people so much they called her a bitch.

"Huh, so my headline which you mocked by the way wasn't that far from the truth. Ok it was nowhere near the truth but I got the alien bit right, only instead of being here to invade earth, he just had a cold. Yeah, that sounds even stupider than an alien invasion." She shook her head and waved her hand. "Ok, so what'd you do when you sneeze now?" She asked inquisitively.

"I don't, but if I ever again feel one coming on, I'll just fly up into the sky and sneeze there."

"Taking out any poor little wayward birds that were having a nice little joy flight."

"Well then, I'd fly into the upper atmosphere or into the stratosphere." He said hurriedly.

"Sneezing the planets out of alignment." She said deadpan nodding her head.

"Loooois." Chloe reproved with a giggle.

"Sorry, but c'mon he's just so easy." She laughed at the look of mortification on Clark's face. "I'm just damn glad you didn't try my remedy, there wouldn't have been much left of Kansas if you did." She chuckled and headed up the stairs.

All was quiet in the kitchen for about a minute "Well she'll keep you honest Clark, that woman will not allow you to get away with anything, not laughing at her alien story, hurting wayward birds or throwing barn doors at her." Chloe said before collapsing into giggles.

Martha soon joined in, her hand pressed against her mouth unable to contain her mirth; Clark's laugh entered the fray, his embarrassment forgotten.

"I don't get it, what's that about a barn door?" Lana asked perplexed which just caused all of them to laugh harder.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

"What are you thinking about Clark, you've been quiet ever since Lois left?" Lana said quietly placing a hand on his arm and bringing him back to the now.

"Sorry, I was just thinking that I should get in touch with the Justice League, find out if anyone's contacted them with a message for Superman or if they've heard something."

"Wouldn't they have contacted you already?" Chloe asked curiously.

"Yeah, but I guess I just wanna make sure, I could also bring them up to date and ask them to keep an ear open for any news at the same time." Clark replied with a shrug.

"I think that's a good idea honey." Martha replied coming over and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'll be back soon." And flying out the door he was gone.

***

Clark knew that if the League had heard anything pertaining to Lois or Superman they would have contacted him, but keeping them in the loop was necessary. At least if anything happened, and he needed them, he wouldn't have to waste time on explanations later because they wouldn't be caught out by surprise.

Hovering over the apartment he nodded his head satisfied that Oliver was in the study, and flew in the window.

"Even without turning around I know it's you." Oliver said quietly amused before swinging his chair around.

"What gave me away?'

"Oh, I don't know, the slight breeze, knowing there's someone else in the room and the fact that I'm 20 stories up and no one else can fly kinda gives it away." Sitting back in his chair Oliver smiled "What are you doing here, I thought you'd be getting ready for your engagement party. Is everything ok?"

"No, I need to talk to you, do you have some time?"

"Sure, is this league business or just a social call?"

"League."

"Ok, we'll make yourself comfortable, do you want a drink?"

"Yeah a beer would great, thanks." Clark sat on the couch and nodded his thanks at the proffered glass. Oliver took a seat on the couch opposite and sipping his drink waiting patiently for Clark to begin.

"Shit Ollie, everything's a mess. I need to know if anyone's left a message with the league for Superman about Lois." Clark asked running his fingers through his hair.

"No, I would have passed it on. What's going on?"

"You don't know this, but shortly after you left 8 years ago Lois was in the Medical Centre in Smallville …." Clark explained bringing Oliver up to date on the situation.

Oliver listened quietly, his heart clenching at what he heard. "You think someone's doing this, someone tried to kill her." Oliver confirmed quietly.

"Yes, she died last night. God Ollie I've never been so scared. Even with all my powers I was completely helpless, she was slipping away and I couldn't do anything but watch, and then, then she was just gone." Clark said rubbing his hand over his brow.

"But she came back; you said she's alright now?" Oliver sat forward the anxious expression on his face mirroring Clark's.

"She is but we don't know who's doing it or why, we don't even know if they're trying to get at Superman, right now we're just trying to think of anything. We never found out what caused this before and we don't know how to fix it. But I'm damned if Lois dying is the trigger to her going back."

"She's not going to die Clark; we'll stop the bastard before that happens, I promise." Oliver vowed.

"Thanks Ollie, I've got mom, Chloe and Lana all trying to help, but I'd appreciate anything the League can do." Clark paused and took a deep breath. "Look, I know that we've only talked about this once, and maybe I'm wrong and you don't feel the same way anymore, but you're still in love with Lois aren't you?" At Oliver's nod he nodded in return. "I can imagine it hasn't been easy for you, but you're one of our best friends Ollie; Lo and I appreciate you coming to our engagement party." He smiled slightly.

Oliver looked down into his glass and took a sip of the contents. "No, it hasn't been easy; but maybe your engagement is just what I need to get closure y'know." He smiled back sadly.

"Yeah. Ollie how did you ever walk away from her? I couldn't leave her willingly no matter what, how did you do it?" Clark asked curiously.

"It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I fell for Lois the moment she opened the door and the longer I knew her, the harder I fell. I don't know how I walked away, at the time the reasons seemed good, but the plain fact is I was a fool." Oliver replied before taking a swallow of his drink. "You know the saying, 'youth is wasted on the young'; well it's true. I'm not an old man, not even close but when I walked away from Lois I was a lot younger and a lot more arrogant. I thought I'd get over it, that it was just a phase and for years I believed I was right, until I saw her again and you know what happened after that." He said saluting Clark with his drink.

"Yeah well don't take all the credit; we've all done stupid things. I chased after Lana for years, so sure that she was right one, flatly refusing to listen when people tried to tell me otherwise. I was so arrogantly sure that Lana and I belonged together, that we were destined." Clark mocked raising his glass in return.

"Hmm, just think if you had married Lana, and I still walked away from Lois and then met her when she was with someone else, we both would have fucked up our lives. At least this way it was just me." Oliver said raising his glass again.

"Still, I hate knowing that you're alone Ollie, I want you to meet someone, to be happy. I'm glad that Lo didn't take you back, but I don't want you to be alone for the rest of your life either." Clark said sincerely.

"What would you have done if she had taken me back?" Oliver asked curiously.

"Before or after I pounded the living hell out of you?" Clark asked with a quirk of his lips.

"After."

"Stolen her back."

"That's what I thought. Can you just see it, the two of us trying to steal her back and forth from each other? More than likely she would have got fed up with both of us, and we'd be so busy trying to one up each other, the world could have fallen apart and neither of us would have noticed." Oliver chuckled.

"No doubt." Clark laughed in return. "It's kind of funny really. She was there and I didn't see her, you had her and walked away. We were both idiots, me for wasting all that time and you for leaving in the first place, not that I'm sorry you did but you get what I mean." Clark shook his head.

Oliver nodded. "I do and you're right. What's even more farcical is you getting Lois and I back together years ago, never knowing that you'd fall in love with her yourself."

"Believe me if I could, I'd go back and kick my younger self's ass for getting my fiancé back with one of my best friends." Clark said taking a swallow of his drink.

"I'd kick myself for ever walking away." Oliver returned.

The two men clinked glasses before sipping their drinks again.

"How on earth can one woman cause so much mayhem?" Clark asked in amusement.

"Well, as you know wars have been fought over one woman before."

"True, do you think you guys need to come to Smallville?"

"That's up to you. If you like, we can scout around, find out if there's any word on the street and let you know, or we can come to Smallville for a few hours see how things play out, stay until everything's resolved or just be in the area and stay in Metropolis." Oliver offered.

"Tell you what, can you find out if anyone knows anything, if there's any talk on the street, that kind of thing and we'll take it from there. If you guys aren't needed then it's pointless you all coming to Smallville, but we can always keep that option up our sleeve." Clark took another sip of drink and hoped he was making the right call.

"That's fine, I'll get onto a few of the League, see what we can find out and call you back, but if or when you want us Clark let us know ok, don't go thinking you have to handle this by yourself?" Oliver stressed.

"I won't Ollie. I won't take any chances with Lois' life." Clark said firmly.

"I know you won't, but if whoever's after Lois is also after Superman, and they know of your weakness to Kryptonite, they might try to take you out before going for her. So just be careful ok?"

"I will." Clark smiled and nodded.

"It's gonna be alright Clark." Oliver said quietly but seeing how vulnerable his friend was he tried to reassure him further. "If you change your mind, we'll be there ok, just call and we'll come straight away. But for now, we'll find out what the word is. None of the team will take kindly to anyone trying to hurt Lois, not only for your sake but for hers. They all like her you know."

"I know, thanks Ollie I appreciate your help." Clark said quietly.

"I'd do it even if it wasn't for Lois, but since it is, I just have extra incentive." Oliver replied with a smile.

Clark nodded in agreement.

***

Sitting on the couch after Clark left Oliver sat staring vacantly at the wall in front of him. He'd never known that Lois had been in the Medical Centre after he left 8 years ago. Because it had been so hard to walk away from her, he'd resolved not to look back and had cut all ties; and now knowing that she could have died, made him wish he'd been there all the more.

He'd spoken no less than the truth earlier; as soon as Lois had opened the door he'd started falling. For perhaps a minute maybe less, it had been her beauty that attracted him, but before she had even closed the door with the admonition for him to aim higher he'd seen something in her that had called to him.

She hadn't known that he was the owner of Queen Industries and he'd found that highly amusing, and when she found out, it hadn't impressed her in the least, which he'd found utterly charming.

She had tried to be nice, bringing the basket of goodies and apologising for being rude, all with the agenda of trying to butter him up for Martha Kent. He'd purposely given her a hard time, pretending to be highly insulted at her rude behaviour the day before, never letting on that he'd found her attitude a refreshing change to the usual fawning, simpering treatment he received from others.

But when he continued to give her a hard time the real Lois Lane had come out, and she'd roundly told him that she must have been right about him all along. Lois just wasn't the type of woman who could play the game any longer than need be, she was too honest and straight forward.

When he bribed her to go out with him with the inducement of listening to her pitch Martha's ideas, she could have gone along with it and played the insulted female to the hilt, or the adoring female flattered by his attentions, but she done neither. She'd gone out him, used the opportunity he'd given her to pitch the Senators ideas, but hadn't tried to hold him off or pull him close, she'd just let him know that she'd enjoyed herself and his company.

He had fallen hard and had never recovered. Most people tended to slaver to him, or flatter him either because of his name or his bank account, but not Lois. When they'd dated, if he took her to the local burger joint she was happy, if he took her to a five star restaurant she was happy, she was just happy to be with him.

Clark said that he could imagine how hard it was for him loving her, but he couldn't. He couldn't imagine how it felt to know that he'd had it all but walked away. He couldn't imagine how it felt to _know_ that you were making a mistake but doing it anyway. And he couldn't imagine how it felt to believe that because the pain of walking away had been blunted, that you confidently thought you'd done the right thing, only to find out how wrong you were. To see again what you'd walked away from, to see that mistake again in the flesh, and to realise that not only was it too late but having to live with the consequences.

When he told Lois that he was leaving, and said that it was the moment he'd regret for the rest of his life, he really didn't realise how true that was. He had lived in ignorance for almost 8 years, until she'd walked into Clark's apartment 9 months ago and he'd seen her again for the first time.

His heart had lurched and his stomach had pitched. Here was the woman he'd walked away from. Here was the reason that although he'd wined, dined and bedded a succession of women; no relationship had ever worked out. He had known in that moment that he'd been fooling himself for years. Because the initial pain of leaving her was over, he'd believed that he was over it and moved on with his life, but seeing her again had shown him that he hadn't moved on at all. He'd only been stagnating.

His work as the Green Arrow was rewarding, Queen Industries was booming and he was damned proud of both, but his personal life had brought him little satisfaction. He'd never met anyone special, had never realised that anything was missing, and had never known there was a part of him that had always been waiting. But when he saw Lois again, he knew in that moment, that he _had_ met that someone special years ago but had turned and walked away.

He'd been surprised that Clark hadn't heard his heart pounding at her entrance and dropping when he realised that she was no longer available. He knew that Clark had been jealous; he'd seen it in his eyes but he also knew it was only a natural reaction to a man seeing his girlfriend in the presence of her ex-boyfriend.

All though dinner he couldn't help contemplating how bitterly ironic it was that Oliver Queen, the man who had the world in the palm of his hand, was jealous of Clark Kent the man who could lift up the world in the palm of his.

He'd been jealous years ago over Clarks powers but had long since gotten over that, he'd been proud of his friend, proud that he was finally using his powers to help people, instead of sitting on his ass crying over some girl, but that night seeing Lois again, knowing that she was with Clark, his jealousy had flared up anew.

When Clark had left to take a Superman call and he and Lois were left alone, it had felt like old times and the years had melted away. She was a fun, captivating woman, one who could be laughing one moment, and in the next turn around and bite someone's throat out if they tried to hurt anyone she loved.

She was a woman who didn't waste her time trying to figure out her place in the universe; but went out and grabbed life by the scruff of the neck. She could hold her own in a fight, use almost any fire arm, swear like a trooper, hold her liquor, make you laugh and hurt your heart so that it never recovered.

After he'd left Clark's apartment he'd gone back to his hotel room and thought about when they were dating, about the fun they'd had, their make-out sessions, when she forgave him for hurting her inadvertently and her god awful cooking. The fudge she'd made had been even worse than the apple pie she'd foisted onto everyone at Thanksgiving years earlier, and he would have done anything to be the man that she now cooked for, just because she was thinking of him and wanted to give him a treat.

He was still bitterly ashamed of himself for going to Lois, for asking her to take him back, but he couldn't lie to himself either, if she had wanted him back, if she'd made even one concession in trying to connect with him again, he wouldn't have held back. That was what shamed him more than anything, that he would have taken her from Clark had she wanted him. He'd never known that he could do that, had never known he had that in his nature and facing that side of himself hadn't been easy.

He wished to god he'd never gone to see Clark, he wished he'd just called him instead. He might have been living in ignorance believing his feelings for Lois were long over, but at least it was better than the knowledge that his life would forever be coloured in grey now that she was lost to him for good.

He loved Lois Lane and always would, he'd been a fool and blown his chance with her but he was damned if he was going to let anyone kill her.

When Clark had told him that Lois had died the previous night, he'd felt physically sick knowing that she was gone and he'd been unaware, realisation had slammed into him that while Lois was dying he'd been having sex. He'd been with one woman, while the woman he loved was dying. Clark must have heard his heart pounding at the news but hadn't said anything for which he was grateful.

It would be easier if he could hate Clark, resent him, but he couldn't. He hated that Clark had her, but he couldn't hate Clark for being smart enough to hold onto her. Lois wasn't his and never would be again, and as much as it hurt knowing that she belonged to someone else, someone that he worked with, someone that he loved like a brother, just knowing that Clark made her happy made the ache a little less.

Clark was a good man and he loved Lois fiercely, he'd never survive if anything happened to her and Oliver resolved that he wasn't going to lose two people he loved, one to a mad man intent on taking a life, and the other to despair at losing a life that was more precious to him than any other.

Shaking his head he walked into his sealed and looked room, and called the team, informing them of the situation and requesting they get back to him ASAP with any news. He then made another series of calls offering money and other inducements to various snitches for information.

Once done, he changed, left and contacted the other snitches who couldn't be contacted by phone or electronic means and offered the same enticements, hoping that someone would find out if there was anything in the wind, it was easier to fight your enemy when you knew who he was, but he was impossible to fight when he hid in the shadows.

***

Clark flew back to Smallville contemplating his talk with Lex. After leaving Oliver's place he'd decided to check on Lex before heading home.

Their talk had been both enlightening and uncomfortable, Lex had been surprised to see the super hero and as usual tried to goad him, and although he hadn't shown it on the outside, listening to Lex had cut deep. Lex had enjoyed letting the super hero know exactly what he thought about Superman's good friend Clark Kent, and it hadn't been pretty.

"Superman! What a pleasant surprise, what can I do for you?" Lex leant back in his chair and sent a genial smile to the man of steel floating outside his window.

"I just wanted you to know that I'm keeping an eye on you Luthor."

"Why thank you, that just gives me warm fuzzies all over. And here I thought your partiality ran to nosey brunettes." Lex gently chided.

"Do you have something to say about Ms Lane?" Superman questioned, floating into the room and landing in front of Lex's desk.

"Ms Lane; my aren't you formal. I'm sure it's a different story when it's just the two of you…alone. I wonder how Clark Kent feels knowing his fiancé gets it on the side from the man of steel?" Lex queried before lighting up a cigar.

"You have a filthy mind Luthor. Ms Lane and I are just friends."

"Yeah I bet you are, isn't that what all the celebrities say just before you find out they've been doing each other for years. I'm sure your _relationship_ with Ms Lane is purely professional." Lex sneered.

"Don't ever speak of Ms Lane that way again." Superman returned angrily, folding his arms across his chest and clenching his fists tight.

"Well aren't you possessive for someone who's just a _**friend**_." Lex let out a bark of laughter "You know, you remind me a little of your friend Clark Kent in a way. He had the most outrageous hard-on for my ex-wife Lana. If you want Lois for yourself, you should drop the ex-Mrs Luthor in front of him. I'm sure it won't take long for the two of them to be at it like rabbits. Believe me; he'd dump Lois in a heartbeat for my ex-wife." He smiled and walked over to the sideboard to pour himself a drink.

"Clark Kent loves Lois Lane and no one else, and I respect that love Luthor."

"You never saw him when he was a kid Superman; he was _obsessed_ with Lana. You know those kids you hear about that have killed their parents and anyone else who stands in the way of them being with their girlfriend, boyfriend." At Superman's nod "That was Clark. Just as they shut themselves away from the world dreaming about their true love, Clark used to shut himself away in his barn and dream about Lana. He _never_ had a thought that wasn't Lana related." Lex said calmly taking a puff on his cigar.

"As you pointed out he was just a kid, and his mother is still very much alive."

"Mmm but those kids are dangerous Superman; even you should know that, and Lana, well she just _loved_ it; she loved knowing he was so crazy about her. Most teenage girls, hell most anyone would be revolted, or at least a little scared knowing that someone had been fantasising about them 24/7 for years, but Lana really enjoyed it." Lex told him quietly, before contemplating out loud "I'd love to know just how many bodies are littered in Clark's dark past, that can all be directly related to his obsession with Lana."

"If he killed anyone he would have been prosecuted, he's not you Luthor he doesn't have the money to get out of trouble." Superman stated flatly.

"He may not have money but I'm still betting that I'm right." Lex returned bluntly "He saved my life y'know, that's how we met, but when I was engaged to Lana, he told me that he never would have saved me if he knew what I was going to turn out like. What he really meant was that if he knew I was going to marry Lana, he would have left me to die, and he wasn't joking when he said it." He looked up and directly into Superman's eyes "Actually he told me that while nearly choking the living hell out of me."

"You were with the girl he believed he loved and…."

"Oooh, so you think that justifies him wishing me dead and for trying to kill me." He interrupted smoothly "Thank you Superman, you've finally proven me right. Haven't I _always_ said that you couldn't possibly be as altruistic as you make out, and you call me evil." Lex smilingly mocked shaking his head.

"You didn't let me finish. No, I don't think he was right or justified, but you said he was young, and the young are impetuous and don't always think." Superman quickly countered shaking his head.

"Ok, I'll give you that. He was completely screwed up of course, then again he was nuts about Lana so that should say it all. I was married to the whining bitch for only a few months, and that was long enough. Actually after getting divorced I felt like a prisoner who'd had a stay of execution." He began to chuckle then let out a shout of laughter "If Clark's as lousy in the sack as Lana was, I really feel sorry for Lois; Lana had all the passion of a wet sock."

"Maybe it was you." Superman interposed quietly.

"My ex wives and girlfriends may or may not like me, and they possibly will accuse me of all manner of things, but one thing I can say with confidence, is that not one of them will ever say that I was selfish in bed." Lex grinned "No it was Lana, she dresses herself up and talks a good game, but when it comes down to the wire she's as cold as an ice cube, she literally coins the word _**frigid**_."

"But getting back to my point and here's the kicker Superman, shortly after Lana and I were married, Clark and I were trapped in a cave. He was as usual being all moral, accusing me of all manner of things; conveniently forgetting his own behaviour of course." Lex mocked "But at one point he was trapped by falling rocks and debris, and if I hadn't gotten him out, he would have died. He really thought I was going to leave him there to die. You see the difference Superman, he hated me, he tried to kill me and he wished I was dead, but I never wished the same on him." Lex paused and his voice firmed and hardened any laughter in his eyes long gone "The times have changed of course; I couldn't give a rat's ass what happened to him now. If we were in that cave now I'd leave him there to rot; quite frankly he's just not worth it."

"As you said before, he was just a kid." Superman said calmly.

"He was a kid Superman, but he knew exactly what he was doing, he wasn't a child without understanding." Lex shook his head and refuted calmly "However, it's obvious that you DO believe his age pardons him from everything, or maybe you agree with him. No don't bother denying it." He waved his hand when Superman opened his mouth "I think you've made your feelings more than clear."

"I don't think his age excuses him and I don't agree with him, but I do believe that he would now regret ever behaving like that." Superman interrupted quietly but firmly.

Lex gave Superman a long searching look before nodding again "Maybe, at least until the next woman catches his eye, if he's not already screwing Lana behind Lois' back that is. But if he's not then take my advice, not that I want you to be happy or anything, but if you want Lois for yourself, throw Lana in front of Clark and watch him go. He'll be on her quicker than a flea jumping on a dog."

"You're disgusting."

"I'm disgusting!" Lex said laughing, "_**I'm**_ disgusting, Clark acts holier than thou but when I was engaged to Lana, he panted after her like a dog in heat, and despite her protests she loved every second of it. So don't bother telling me that I'm disgusting, maybe you should say that to your good friend Clark. The man who kisses another man's fiancé; another man's wife, while said wife is wearing her rings. I admit I never had much liking for Lois, but I really thought she had better sense than to hook up with Clark Kent." Lex said shaking his head.

"And the two of you used to be friends."

"That was a long time ago Superman, a very long time ago. I couldn't stomach listening to him prattle on about ethics and morals only to chase after my wife. I don't have any proof and really don't care one way or the other anymore, but I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that Clark and Lana were screwing each other every chance they got, both while she was engaged _and_ married to me. Thank god that I finally saw him for the hypocrite he really is."

"Clark Kent is an honourable man, he loves Lois Lane, he's not interested in anyone else."

"Honourable!" Lex laughed as if he found the word truly funny. "You don't know your friend at all do you Superman; let me clue you in. Clark has two sets of rules. One that applies only to himself, and one that he applies to everyone else. When I was single, Clark was upset and disgusted with me because I had sex with other single women, it was immoral and wrong in his book, but less than two years later, he was chasing after and no doubt screwing my wife every chance he got. Of course as far as he was concerned, it wasn't wrong because he loved her, and hey he was only cheating with Lex Luthor's wife, so it didn't really count. Lex is evil, so Clark and Lana fucking each other was A-OK in his little book." Lex smirked as if enjoying a good joke but the look in his eyes was that of someone who was more than a little revolted, at the two faced sanctimonious behaviour of his former friend.

He took a sip of his drink before continuing. "If Clark wants something, he won't let anything stand in the way of getting it, but he WILL ensure that everyone thinks he's gone after it for a higher purpose than plain old selfishness or greed. He tried to make everyone believe that he just wanted to save Lana from me, but the simple truth is; he wanted her and he wasn't going to let a little thing like her husband stand in his way." Lex said as he strolled over to his desk and sat on the edge, idly swinging one leg.

He sipped his drink waiting for the super hero to charge to Clark's defence but finding no comment forthcoming continued speaking. "And Lana wasn't any better, she's always had her trampy little ways and frankly it makes me sick that I didn't see it at the time, but I was younger then, and I really believed that I loved her. I wouldn't fall for that shit now, but I still find it a faint embarrassment that I ever did." He paused to take a puff of his cigar and another sip of his drink. "And that's _**exactly**_ what the two of them are really like. Lana's a cheap, tawdry two bit tramp, who pretends to be the towns misunderstood 'virgin' and Clark's a two faced backstabbing hypocrite, who pretends to be the town priest. But when Clark gets sick of Lois, and he will; he won't let the fact that he's married stop him from shaking her off like so much garbage." It was clear that Lex was enjoying telling someone exactly how he felt about Clark Kent, and had every intention of unburdening himself before his audience rushed to Clark's defence.

"You hate him don't you?" Superman asked quietly.

"No, to hate him, he'd have to matter to me. I don't hate him, but neither will I tolerate anyone trying to tell me how honourable and moral he is, when I know perfectly well that's bullshit." Lex replied simply and truthfully, before tapping the ash out and taking another puff on his cigar.

Superman moved his shoulders but stilled when Lex looked at him. "Is the conversation getting a little uncomfortable for you Superman?"

"No but I find it interesting that you still hold Clark's actions of years past against him."

"Isn't that funny, that's what everyone in Smallville did to me, only they weren't my actions, they were my father's, but most everyone in that town laid his sins at my door." Lex tilted his head. "And I'm betting that Clark still holds mine against me. I'm not talking about since then; I'm talking about back then."

"Did Clark blame you for your father's sins?"

"No" Lex answered simply. "Well, he said he didn't but then again who's to know? He certainly made use of my friendship, my connections when it suited him."

"You think he used you for your money; for what you could do for him."

"Oh I know he did, but at the time I was happy to help because I genuinely liked him." Lex smiled faintly. "But bringing this conversation back to the present time; Clark and Lois' relationship is one that I just can't understand."

"And why is it important for you to understand it, I'm baffled as to why you've thought about it all." Superman countered calmly.

"Why, oh well that's easy enough; it's quite obvious that Lois is special to you Superman. I think it's fascinating that the man of steel, the man who could walk like a god among men, is no different to any other man when it comes to love."

Lex stood up, paced around his desk and re-took his seat "The best way to learn about your enemy is to study them, to understand what makes them tick, so naturally when I saw your partiality to Lois and then she started dating Clark, it made the two of them absolutely riveting." Lex crooked a smile. "I will say that I never liked Lois but I have to respect her, she never tried to preach and she always followed the courage of her convictions. She didn't trust me and really why should she, but at least she didn't pretend to like me, to be my friend, then turn around and stab me in the back every chance she got, all the while censuring _**me**_ about doing the right thing." Lex said casually. "As much as I don't like Lois, I don't think she deserves to become a victim to Clark's games or use, and if you love her as much as I suspect you do, you'll do everything you can to get her away from him." Lex said with finality.

"And just why do you care so much about either Ms Lane or me getting hurt?" Lex didn't so much as twitch at the super heroes' probing look, and Clark couldn't hear either his heart or his pulse pick up speed.

"You and Lois are worthy adversaries; however, neither of you will be when she ends up a useless wreck of a woman crying over a man, and you the man of steel can only sob his poor little heart out because your true love is crying over someone else. The two of you have been a pain in my ass for years, but you're also straight arrows; so even though I jeered at you, I don't think you are cheating, but I am surprised that you let anyone steal her away from you."

"As I said before, Ms Lane and I are just friends."

"Well I've never cared whether you're happy or not, actually I prefer not, but I am looking forward to the day the man of steel finds his lady love in tears, and beats the hell out of his friend Clark Kent." Lex said with a laugh. "Now this little chat has put me in the mood for a nice snack, care to join me?"

"No."

"Well then, I'm sure you can see yourself out."

Clark flew back to Smallville and thought about all that Lex had said. When Superman had spoken to Lex in the past, Clark and Lois had never been mentioned. Lex and Superman's enmity of each other was simply because Superman was good and Lex was evil.

This was the first time they had spoken about personal issues and although Lex had sneered and goaded the superhero about his friend Clark Kent, the sincerity in his voice was unmistakeable.

The whole time Lex was talking, Clark had had no choice but to keep his face impassive. The few times Superman had tried to point out that Clark loved Lois, that years ago he'd been young and stupid, he'd been summarily shot down.

Lex had clearly felt the burden of his belief in Clark's perfidy for years, and wasn't going to stop until he'd had his say. And if Superman had tried to cut in, tried to explain that Clark and Lana had never slept together while she was with Lex; he would have caught on that the Superhero knew more than he should. Lex was evil, but he was also smart, he would have become more than a little suspicious, there was no doubt about that.

But having no choice but to listen while Lex threw his past actions in his face had stung. Knowing that Lex thought Clark had no honour, no morals and that his ethics were so low, that he wouldn't stop at sleeping with another man's wife, wouldn't stop at killing someone just to be with Lana burned. And knowing that he couldn't blame Lex for thinking what he did because of the way he'd acted over Lana, hurt.

When Lex reminded him of what he'd said and done, he'd been bitterly ashamed. He couldn't use the excuse, even to himself that he'd done it all while under the influence of red kryptonite. He was well aware that redK only lowered his inhibitions and allowed him to act and speak what was truly in his heart. He had been young and stupid, but to remember that he'd ever wished another person dead, shamed him anew.

He desperately tried to convince himself that he didn't care what Lex thought, but knew it wasn't true. It hurt to know that because he'd been such a fool, that Lex now believed there was very little that Clark wouldn't stoop to. That Lex believed Clark was just as evil as himself, and worse still, that the people Clark loved, that loved him, would cover up anything he did, no matter how foul the deed.

Lex and he were enemies and always would be, but Lex questioning Clark's love for Lois offended. His heart ached at the knowledge that his past actions now caused his enemy to doubt his feelings for his fiancé.

Clark couldn't hide his feelings for Lois and didn't even try, but to know that Lex found his love for Lois wanting, to know that as much as Lex didn't like Lois, he still urged the superhero he hated to get her away from her fiancé, because he believed he would be unfaithful to her lacerated his heart.

If Lex was playing games with Lois' life, he was the coolest customer that Clark had even known. As crazy as it was, he was glad that even though Lex didn't like Lois and hated Superman he did respect them, it had been clear in his voice, as clear as the disgust he still felt for Clark Kent and Lana Lang.

He couldn't change Lex's mind about Clark's love for Lois and wouldn't even try, but he hurt knowing that Lex would always look at Lois with pity, and Clark with scorn and repugnance.


	21. Chapter 21

Hello, I'm glad that people are enjoying this story (as frustrating as it can be on occasion), here is the next part.

Linda

***

**Chapter 21**

While helping Martha and Chloe with the cooking Lana's mind rapidly ran through the events earlier in the day.

When they were eating lunch, for just a moment she'd thought Lois had figured out how she felt about her, but soon realised that was impossible. Lois was a good actress, but she was too straight forward, too blunt, if Lois knew, she wouldn't be able to help herself; she would have confronted her, even if it meant requesting a private conversation in the middle of lunch. Just like Joanne, she wouldn't have been polite about it. But just in case she was wrong, in case Lois had seen more than she should, if Lois said anything to her, then just as she had dealt with Joanne, she'd deal with Lois, by wiping the knowledge from her mind.

She knew that Lois had seen her love for Clark, but considering that Lois didn't want him, then Lois knowing that could only be to her benefit.

Closing here eyes for a moment, she revelled in hearing Clark say that he had only ever wanted to marry her. She'd wanted a sign and got it, it was her he had wanted; HER and hearing that made her heart glad.

She just needed a little more, just enough for him to admit that he still wanted her, just one sign and when it came she would be ready. Joanne might have confused him, taken advantage of his vulnerability, but while she wasn't here, cracks in his affections were already showing. Clark had admitted to only wanting to marry her. Lois, Joanne whatever she called herself could never touch Clark's heart the way she did and soon he would admit that too.

She couldn't wait to be back in his arms, to feel his warmth surrounding her and she especially couldn't wait to see the look on Lois' face when Clark told her that he had NEVER loved her, that all she'd been to him was an available body.

Clark wouldn't say those exact words but Lois would know, she'd finally realise that Clark had never, and could never be hers and Lana couldn't wait for that day. Clark loved her, he was trying to fight it but he'd already admitted that he'd only ever wanted to marry her and it wouldn't be long before he admitted that he'd made a mistake and came back to her; just one sign that's all she needed, just one.

***

Lois had been enjoying her run, she had intended to take it easy, to pace herself but as usual her competitive nature had come into play and it hadn't been long before her pace had picked up speed and she was racing Shelby. They had made it to his girlfriend's house and while the two dogs frolicked, she'd sat under a tree catching her breath. She had decided to run a little further down the road so 20 minutes later told Shelby that she'd pick him up on the way back and started on her way, he'd barked and started to follow but she'd patiently promised to get him on her return journey and as he'd run back to his girlfriend she figured he understood.

Her mind had been blank; she'd just been enjoying the feeling of her muscles limbering up, feeling loose, and had kept running, only stopping when the stitch in her side had made itself known.

Knowing there was no way she could make the return journey until the pain stopped she moved off the side of the road and lay down in the long grass and quietly relaxed, determinedly keeping her mind blank.

***

"How'd it go?" Chloe asked when Clark walked in the door.

"Well, the Justice League hasn't heard anything but I already knew that because they would have called me. However, they are going to investigate, and see if anything turns up." He shrugged.

"It's a start honey." Martha smiled encouragingly.

"Yeah, oh I checked on Lex too, I don't believe he's involved."

"Well it was a long shot but at least you can cross him off the list, right?" Lana asked softly.

"No I won't cross him off the list, just move him down." Clark refuted.

"Who wants coffee?" At the quick nods and calls of yes, Martha poured the coffee, and after placing a plate of biscuits on the table joined the others.

"Clark, Lois hasn't come back yet, can you hear if she's ok?" Chloe asked quietly.

"She's fine Chlo; I've been keeping an ear on her." He smiled reassuringly.

"Thanks, I knew that but I just wanted to make sure. I didn't want to go after her because she's only been gone just over an hour and I don't want her to feel like we can't let her out of our sight, but I was getting a little anxious." Chloe confessed with a lop sided smile.

"Its fine Chlo and I don't blame you. If I couldn't hear her, I would have gone after her by now." And seeing the same resolution in his mom's eyes, he understood that they were all worried about Lois, but each were trying to ensure that they didn't let fear take over.

"Mom, I don't know if we're still going to Metropolis or not, but either way how about I buy us all dinner tonight. It'll save you having to cook that on top of everything else."

"Actually that's not a bad idea." Chloe smiled and Martha gave her heart felt approval by nodding eagerly.

"Listen mom, I know you were set on throwing Lois and I an engagement party, but neither of us expected you to do all the cooking when Lo wanted to have it here, are you sure you don't want me to call a few people, order in some stuff." Clark asked grasping his mom's hand.

"No honey, I want to do it. It's not a big party, and Chloe and I are only making the main dishes and a few cakes. The majority of the food, the appetisers, deserts etc have already been ordered, Lois wouldn't hear any different on that as I'm sure you remember, so it's really not all that much, it just looks like it." Martha affirmed with a smile.

"Chlo…"

"Don't even start Clark, I wanted to help, no one asked me, I pushed my way in remember?" At his nod, her eyes twinkled and her lips started to twitch. "And as you know, Lois offered to help earlier, after all, she has watched a couple of cooking shows on TV and she knows how to make a homemade bomb, so we can always get her to help, right Martha."

"Why yes, I thought it was very nice of her to want to help." Martha grinned.

The looks of amusement flew around the table and before long everyone began to laugh. "Poor Lois, when she started muttering and then got louder because we were ignoring her less than subtle hints I wanted to laugh, but when she actually compared cooking to making a homemade bomb I had to bite my cheek." Martha chuckled and wiped her eyes.

"I know all I could think was that her cooking was as deadly as a bomb." Clark snorted, causing all the occupants to laugh again.

"Martha I'd be more than happy to help." Lana offered once the laughter died down. "After all, now that I'm going to be hanging around, I might as well make myself useful."

"Are you sure Lana, I know that you're busy with the Talon."

"I _was_ busy with the Talon before Lois conscripted me to hang around 24/7," Lana replied with a smile and seeing the grateful look in Martha's eyes, nodded. "But if Lois still wants to go to Metropolis what should I do?"

"You might as well come with us Lana because she'll just find a way to talk you into it anyway." Clark replied dryly.

"But don't you want Lois to yourself?"

"Yeah but I don't want her to be uncomfortable, so if she asks you to join us, feel free."

"Tell you what, if she asks, I'll come but disappear when we get there, leaving you two alone. I can make up some excuse, then we can all meet up later and she won't feel like I'm letting her down by not being around in case I remember something."

"That's not only really sneaky but really good." Chloe said admiringly.

"Thanks I think so too."

While the women discussed what Lana could make, Clark silently drank his coffee, Lex's words kept reverberating through his head and suddenly like a door opening he remembered "Oh my god!"

"Clark what's wrong?" Martha asked quickly. Her sons' voice had surprised everyone. He sounded disturbed and looking at his face she was concerned at the shaken cast to his features.

"I just remembered, Lex…I was thinking about what he said and…but I never thought…"

"Clark what, what did Lex say?" Chloe asked shaking his arm.

"Lex said some stuff about me years ago and I was thinking about it. God 8 years ago, the second day when Lois was in the Medical Centre after you and Chloe had gone to sleep I went up to the loft. I was worried about Lois, hoping she'd be ok and I remember desperately wanting her to have a future so I imagined dancing with her at her wedding, teasing her before passing her onto her husband and then me, mom and you looking back on the time Lo was in the hospital and just being glad that she was ok." Clark stopped talking and scrubbed his hands over his face.

"What's wrong with that, it sounds like a nice memory." Chloe asked sharing a confused look with Martha and Lana.

"No, Chloe you don't understand. I was thinking about Lois at her wedding, and then, then god, this is embarrassing…" He broke off, looked at Lana and his face flushed. "I was thinking of dancing with Lois at her wedding; then I started imagining Lana and I dancing at our wedding …." Seeing the looks of understanding flying around the table he flushed darker and stopped.

"Clark, it's ok, we all know what you were like then, if you were thinking about weddings and Lana didn't enter your mind, it would have been unusual." Chloe patted his hand and shared an amused look with Martha.

"No, it's not that Chloe, I was thinking about us…." he said gesturing to Lana, thankful that her face didn't show any embarrassment, and continued at her encouraging nod. "Then all of a sudden I got the most awful feeling. I didn't know what it was, but I was sure that something had happened to you, I was sure that you were dead and panicked. I raced over to the Luthor Mansion to find out if you were ok; I was just about to x-ray the house when I saw you on the balcony and I watched you, just relieved that you were alive. I couldn't explain the feeling I had and in the end just assumed that whatever was wrong with Lois was playing tricks on my mind. I knew something was wrong but I didn't connect it to Lois, I connected it to Lana." Clark finished quietly.

There was silence in the room for a few minutes.

"You thought Lana died, but this happened on the second night." Chloe confirmed quietly.

"Yeah. Hell, Lois was dying and somehow I knew it, but I didn't even think of her in the Medical Centre, I just knew something was wrong and thought of Lana." Clark rubbed his hand over the back of his neck then pushed out of his seat to pace.

"Did you have any other feelings like that?" At his head shake Chloe pressed on. "Think back Clark, if you've only remembered this now, then maybe there other times and if so, maybe we can… I don't know; maybe have a heads up if anything's going to happen?"

He sat back down and tried to think back 8 years previously. Chloe, Martha and Lana stayed quiet giving him peace instead of firing questions at him, but the anxious expressions on their faces couldn't be quelled.

When his face contorted they knew he'd remembered more. "You've remembered something else?" Martha asked softly.

"Yeah when Chloe and I were driving to Carlton Gorge, I was trying to cheer you up that Lois would be ok, remember Chlo?" at her quick nod he continued. "Well as I was driving I had a, I don't want to say premonition, but it's the only word that fits, I had a premonition that whatever happened to Lois was going to affect me, hurt me personally." He stopped to take a deep breath. "Lois was a friend and I didn't want to see her hurt, and I didn't want to see either you or mom upset so thought I was just worrying for all of you, but I didn't see how whatever happened to Lois could affect me specifically, and just shook the feeling of as ridiculous." Clark gave a short humourless bark of laughter. "That's twice, there could be other times, and if there were then more than likely I would have either dismissed the feelings or connected them to Lana, not Lois." He concluded shaking his head in disgust.

"Clark it's natural, at that time in your life, you and Lois were just friends and Lana pretty much occupied your thoughts."

"It makes me feel sick mom. If anything happened to Lois back then, I would have been sad that a friend was dead long before her time, and I would have been hurt, but that would have been it." Clark replied sadly.

"Clark you can't go back and change how you felt, if Lois, sorry Joanne was here, she'd say the same thing. Neither of you knew how you'd feel in the future." Chloe interposed calmly.

"I know Chlo, I know but…I'm sorry Lana, this must be uncomfortable as hell for you." Clark turned and seeing the flush of colour in Lana's face, smiled crookedly. He admired the way she tried to make him feel better, regardless of her own discomfort.

"It's ok, we all know how the two of us felt, it's not exactly a secret, so don't worry about it, ok?" She said patting his hand.

Clark nodded. "Yeah, um look, I'm just going outside. I want to try and remember if there were any other times." He opened the door then turned back. "Don't tell Lois, you know what she'll think and….please just don't tell her." He said before stepping out and closing the door.

He stood on the porch for a moment wondering where to go, when he saw Lois leaning against the fence near the head of the driveway. Her heart sounded fine, she looked ok, but he raced to her anyway.

"Lo are you ok?" He asked concerned.

"Yeah, just ran too far and got a stitch." Turning around she put her arms on the fence, dropped her head and stretched out one leg then the other. "Can we do Metropolis tomorrow, I'm not really in the mood today?"

"That's fine."

"God I feel really exhausted and tight, does Joanne still run?" She asked lifting her head.

"Sometimes but not as much, she doesn't have the time." He smiled "Do you want me to carry you back to the house?"

"Do my legs look broken?" She asked with lifted brow.

He couldn't help but chuckle, no matter what her age Lois was an independent woman. When she sat down on the grass, he sat beside her. "I can give you a massage if you want." He quietly offered.

"Ah, no that's ok, a hot shower and I'll be fine. What's up?" She was also perceptive and straight to the point.

"Nothing." He replied promptly not surprised that she knew he was troubled and trying to hide it.

"Don't give me that. When Skipper wears that face he's thinking of Lana or has Lana troubles, so c'mon give." She said impatiently.

"Skipper?" Clark inquired.

"Yeah, I got sick of saying young Clark in my head, so Skipper." She replied lifting one shoulder in a shrug.

"I should have known." He chuckled and laughed harder when she smacked him on the arm.

"Stop it, I can't help it. All these Lois and Clark's get confusing."

"Uh huh. I notice you get the nice normal name of Joanne, and I get Skipper."

"Well it serves you right for trying to lump such a crappy name on Shelby." She countered.

"I picked Skippy."

"Oh yeah, that's so much better." Lois drawled.

"I'm going to have to come up with a nick name for you." Clark smiled.

"Farmboy don't even try, you can't even name a dog, much less a person."

"He was my first dog!"

"Whatever; now are you going to tell me what's wrong or not?"

"I'm just frustrated I guess. I contacted the Justice League; remember I told you about them?" At her nod; "well they haven't heard anything and I checked on Lex but I don't think he's involved."

"I doubt Lex would be involved. He's a snake in the grass, but this just seems too, 'out there' for him." Lois replied shaking her head.

"Yeah, I didn't think he'd be involved either but it had to be checked."

"Well it's only for 2 more days, remember I said at the beginning that maybe I leave just as suddenly as I arrived. Maybe none of us have to do anything."

"Then what was the point of bringing you here, for any of it?"

"I don't know but you said it could have been a mistake, or an experiment, maybe that's all it was. I mean you all said that it never happened again, right?" She nodded her head when he did "So…"

"You don't seem very worried."

"I was earlier when you told me what happened to Joanne, but worrying gets you nowhere; all it does is confuse the mind." She shrugged.

"Lo?"

"Hmm."

"If this had happened to Skipper, if he was in the Medical Centre I mean, how would you feel?"

"I'd be worried, I'd want to know what happened or how to fix it, Skippers a pain in the ass, but he's a nice guy. Why do you ask?"

"I guess I was just wondering." She nodded her head in understanding.

Getting up they walked down the driveway and parted ways, her back to the house and he to the barn.

***

Clark thought about his fiancé while doing the farm chores, when he and Lois had been talking and laughing before lunch, he'd felt their connection again, it hadn't been there since Joanne was gone but he'd felt it then. He'd missed laughing with her and talking with her. Just talking about everyday things, but most of all he missed looking into Lois' eyes and seeing love. All he'd seen since this started was anger, and confusion. Today was the first time he'd seen genuine friendship again, but she wasn't Joanne, right now she was still Lois. He couldn't behave with her as they usually did, they were getting along better today but it still wasn't the same.

While sitting with her on the grass, he'd desperately wanted to put his arms around her. He didn't even have the luxury of holding her hand and he missed it. He missed reaching out just to touch her, to kiss her, to wake up and find her lying next to him. The last time they had made love was the night before they came to Smallville, and it scared him thinking that could be the last time ever.

Joanne had been gone three days, she was supposed to be back early evening the day after tomorrow, that was when Lois had woken up 8 years ago; early evening, and if Lois was right, he'd have his fiancé back in two days, she would return as suddenly as she left. But if Lois was wrong …

After finishing the chores he went up to the loft, lay down on his bed and held her engagement ring. Yawning he tucked the ring under the pillow, and closed his eyes trying to recall any other instances that could have been significant 8 years ago but nothing came to mind. Maybe they'd come with time, he wanted them too, if only to be able to know when something was going to happen, but he also dreaded it.

When his eyes opened he was surprised to note that the sun was lower than before and looking at his watch was shocked to realise that he must have fallen asleep. When he lay down it had been almost 2.30pm it was now almost 6pm.

Closing his eyes tight, he opened them to stare at the loft ceiling. He'd gone to sleep thinking of the past and woken up with memories of that time and now realised that he'd been asleep and dreaming. He didn't have any blinding realisations, he didn't have any premonitions that he could remember, but he did remember a lot of his thoughts and his feelings.

From the first moment they realised that Lois had switched, all he could remember of that time was being concerned about Lois, and almost frantic that Lana was headed to the alter with Lex. Jumbled memories of that time rushed through his head, lifting up he retrieved he engagement ring from under his pillow and held it in his hand just staring at it.

When he felt the hand on his shoulder he looked up and saw his mom sitting next to his legs. He didn't realise he'd been crying until she wiped her fingers across his cheek.

"Clark, what's wrong honey?" Martha said quietly rubbing his shoulder.

"God mom, everything." He sat up and put his head on her shoulder while the tears continued to trickle down his cheeks silently.

After he'd walked out the kitchen door looking miserable, she'd gone against her desire to talk with him, and gave him the space she felt that he needed. Every now and again she'd glanced out the kitchen window and could see that although he was doing the chores, his mind was elsewhere, and it hadn't been hard to figure out who was on his mind. But when he'd disappeared into the barn and didn't come out 30 minutes later, she'd checked and found him fast asleep. Knowing that Clark hadn't been sleeping well for the past few days, she'd quietly turned and left, but when two hours had passed she'd checked on him again and at finding him awake, with tears streaking his face while looking at Lois' engagement ring she couldn't walk away again.

He'd been so deep in thought that he hadn't even been aware of her presence. She hated to see her son so upset, he hadn't been this way in years, ever since he came back after his training he'd been stronger, more sure of himself and happy. She'd never seen her son so happy, but the last few days had been an emotional roller coaster for him and it was clear that he needed his mom. Rubbing her hand over his back she let him stew for several minutes, before getting up to grab some tissues and sitting down again.

"Thanks mom, I guess you knew I needed someone huh?" His mouth smiled but his eyes were weary.

"I'm just glad that you still need your mom." She said rubbing his back.

"I'll always need my mom." He said quietly. "I fell asleep and…"

"Did you remember something else, is that what happened?" Martha questioned quietly.

"Yeah, I fell asleep trying to remember more and when I woke up I had memories of that time." He swallowed, looked away then back into Martha's face and quietly confided "I never told you this, I never told anyone, I'd forgotten about it, maybe I just didn't want to remember…" he sadly shook his head "…but when Lois was in the Medical Centre 8 years ago, I was sorry for her, I really was mom, but…but I was glad it wasn't Lana. I was ashamed to feel like that, but I was." He said quietly. "Everything that happened mom, _everything_ I put in context with Lana, I hardly thought of Lois at all." He pressed his face into his mom's shoulder but when she began to speak lifted his head and looked into her eyes.

"I'm sure that's not true. You were concerned about Lois, you helped Clark; you tried to find out what was wrong. I know back then you thought you loved Lana, so it's only natural that she was on your mind…"

"No mom, you don't understand, everything was about Lana. When Lois died the other night, back then I knew something was wrong, but even though Lois was in the hospital she didn't even enter my mind, I thought something was wrong with Lana. When I had a premonition that whatever happened to Lois was going to affect me specifically I shrugged it off as ridiculous because she was just a friend. I was sad about Lois, I was sad that her life might be over when she was still so young, thought it wasn't fair, but that's it mom, that's as far as I thought of Lois, then almost immediately I thought it wasn't fair that Lana was going to marry Lex instead of me." He looked down at the engagement ring, placed it on his pillow and back into his mom's face.

"I know that Lana was all I used to think about, that I believed we belonged together, but to now remember that Lois could have died, and I would have been grateful that it wasn't Lana, god mom what does that say about me?" He asked rubbing his eyes with his fists.

"Honey, you were young, unfortunately Lana was on your mind completely; you can't go back and change that." Martha paused then asked quietly "Clark you mentioned Lex before …."

"Yeah, when I went to see Lex he had a lot to say about my behaviour when he was with Lana. I can't get what he said out of my mind, maybe that's what stirred it all up, but…"

"What did he say?" She interrupted quietly.

"You really don't wanna hear it mom" he looked down at his hands then back up, and in his eyes she could see both pain and grief "Suffice it to say, Lex thinks Clark Kent's a miserable scumbag with the morals of an alley cat, and Lana Lang runs a close second." He said giving a tight cheerless smile.

"He had no right!" Martha fired up in defence of her son.

"He did mom, he had every right, and that's why it hurts so much." Clark quietly countered shaking his head. "I never hesitated to point out someone else's mistakes or wrong doing; especially Lex's, but I was completely blind to both my own and Lana's. Even after I kidnapped her, after I told Lex that I should have left him to die, after I almost to killed him; all I was concerned about was stopping the marriage. I was completely indifferent to what I'd done, as far as I was concerned, Lana and I were the victims. God mom, how did I ever sink so low?" He asked in a voice full of self loathing.

"You were young honey." Martha soothed unable to offer anything but a maternal ear and shoulder.

"That's not an excuse, as Lex pointed out; I knew what I was doing." Clark lifted his head and continued quietly. "I'm not trying to paint him all white, he didn't even try to do that, but although Lana and I had plenty to say about _him_, he was never given a chance to say anything. No one; myself included would have listened, not without interrupting to point out his own misdeeds." He swallowed hard and took a shaky breath "But the truth is, if Lex had wanted to, he could have hung Lana and I out to dry years ago." He nodded and his eyes showed stark truth "Lex has money and influence, he even owned The Daily Planet at one time, he could have taken out a front page add and told the world what he told me today." He said shaking his head "You know how much people love scandal and dirt, they would have slavered over every word, and enough dirt would have stuck to both Lana and I, that even today people would look at us and question, but he never did that." Clark paused and took a deep breath. "He even didn't care if Superman believed him or not, I think he just wanted a chance to speak out for once, to finally say, 'this is how these two so called good people treated me'."

"And how did you feel hearing it?" Martha asked softly.

"Not good, it was damn hard but I owed it to him. I tried to point out that Clark was young when it happened, but Lex took that to mean that Superman saw no wrong in Clark's behaviour, and I couldn't let him believe that because I know that I was wrong, so in the end I just let him speak. He doesn't know I'm Superman, a couple of times I thought he might have guessed because he looked at me so closely but I don't believe he does. Lex and I are enemies mom, we always will be, but I just hope that by listening to him, by letting him speak out and get it of his chest, it will finally give him some peace."

"You're a good man Clark, not many people would wish their enemy peace."

"I want him to have peace from what I did. No matter who they are, I have no right to wish death on anyone." He shook his head sadly "That was hateful and Lex didn't deserve it. I didn't even say it because I thought he was evil, or because of anything he'd done. I can't try and justify it because there's nothing that can make it acceptable, but what makes it even worse is that I said, did it, for one reason only, because I was jealous that Lana was with him. My behaviour was beneath contempt and I'm heartily ashamed of it, but that doesn't mean that I want him to have peace for the wrong doing he now perpetrates."

"I know honey, but it takes a strong person to admit when they've wronged someone so badly; especially their enemy, that they want them to have some peace, I'm proud of you for it." Martha replied kissing him on the forehead. "But listening to what he said, you still don't think he's involved?"

"No, I listened to everything he said mom, but I also gauged his heart and his pulse and he never once lied, everything he said, he believed completely. I know that some of what he said was right on the mark and some of it was way off, but he believed it." Clark stated simply, took a deep breath and went on "When Lex comes at Superman, even when he does it in a roundabout way, he usually goes for the jugular; this just isn't his style. I think if Lex was going to get into magic to stir up trouble, he might try it on Clark or Lana but I don't believe he'd waste his time on them, and that's what he would consider it, a waste of his time. So no I don't think he's involved at all." Clark smiled sadly "But listening to him, having my past thrown in my face must have been what stirred up memories of that time I guess."

"I'm sorry Clark; I know it wouldn't have been easy hearing all that, especially on top of this whole situation which has been hard enough on you, so I'm sorry." She said quietly hugging him tight.

"It's ok, as I said I owed it to him." Clark put his head back on Martha's shoulder "I miss Lois mom, I'm used to her being here, to being with me and …." He trailed off and grew quiet.

"I know and I know it's not the same but I miss her too. I'm used to seeing you happy, to seeing you and Lois together, you will be again sweetie I promise, you just have to hold on." She quietly soothed rubbing his back.

"If Lois died 8 years ago my life now would be so different, so bleak and empty. I might not even realise it, but it would be. And to now remember that I could only think about Lana instead of Lois in the hospital…." Clark said quietly.

"No one will say anything to Lois, but Clark you can't change how you thought and felt back then, you can't change any of it, so please just let it go?" She urged.

"I will mom, I guess just remembering it now kind of hit me y'know." He said raising his head and giving a weary smile.

"I do, but please don't let the past rule your life Clark, it really serves no purpose ok?" at his nod, she smiled. "Come inside Sweetie, come and join everyone."

"I will in a few minutes. Thanks mom, I guess just as Lex had to get it off his chest, I had to as well, so thank you for listening."

"You're welcome sweetie, I'll always be here if you need me" Martha smiled, kissed him on the cheek and went back to the house.

Clark sat on the bed, picked up the ring and looked at, before placing it back under his pillow and smoothing his hand over it.

Picking up his wallet he opened it to a photo of Lois and himself, stroking his finger over her face he smiled softly. "I'm sorry baby, I'm sorry that this happened to you and I was so infatuated with Lana that I hardly thought about you. Please come back to me Lo." Placing his wallet back down, he walked over, sat on the couch and closed his eyes, his mind once again drifting into memory.

He had just put the lasagne in the oven when he heard the front door opening and smelt her, and by god she smelt good.

"Clark I'm ho.... umh." His body pressed her up against the front door while his mouth claimed hers.

"What was that for?" She asked in surprise when he raised his head.

"I can't help it; whatever they rubbed and scrubbed you with at that beauty salon smells heavenly.' He bent down to kiss her neck while his hands kept busy tugging her shirt loose.

"Yeah, it's not bad and my whole body feels like a wet noodle. I had a gorgeous, six foot Swedish masseur by the name of Sven who gave me a full body massage." She tilted her head to give him better access, while her hands snuck under his shirt.

"I hope you're joking." He smiled kissing along her jaw.

"Yeah, I am" and when he nodded in approval, she laughed. "He was actually French and his name was Pierre."

"Lo, don't make me go kill this guy!" He warned lifting his head.

"Oh, calm down, it was a woman."

"Good, I'm the only man allowed to give you a full body massage, or any other type of massage." He quickly amended before she could get a word in.

"You mean you're the only man who's allowed to cop a feel." She replied dryly.

"Exactly!" He responded glad she understood.

"By the way Chlo's coming over for dinner, so I hope you made enough for three, if not we'll have to order out." Lois said, pushing lightly on his chest so she could wiggle out from being pinned against the door, then walked over and sat on the couch.

He followed, pulled her into his lap and had just touched his lips to her cheek when her words registered. "What; why'd you have to go and invite her over for?"

"Because after relaxing at the salon all day and being rubbed down, she also feels as lazy as I do, so I told her to come round and join us." Lois smiled running one hand up and down his arm.

"Ok, we have to get organised, the next time you go to the salon, you come home alone, you don't invite anyone else over and we go straight to bed."

"Now see, that's what I love about you, you're just so romantic." She grinned fluttering her eyelashes.

"That's right sugar, you smell delicious and now I'm horny." He pushed her down on the couch and made exaggerated passionate noises against her neck, she squealed and began to chortle; raising his head his laughing eyes smiled into hers. "Well if Chloe's coming over then we don't have much time for what I have in mind." He said beginning to unbutton her shirt.

She slapped his hands. "We don't have _any_ time buddy, you're gonna have to wait until after she goes home."

"But Lo?" He whined.

"Forget it, and take your hand out from under my shirt." She said laughing.

"But Lo, you can't come home smelling like that and expect me to keep my hands to myself."

"Oh yes I can, think of the anticipation."

"I'm sure we have time for a quickie."

"Our quickies are never quick." She swiftly refuted before he could get his hopes up.

"But Lo…?"

"Forget it!" She said unsympathetically before grabbing him by the shirt front, pulling him down, rubbing herself all over him and giving him a deep hard kiss.

He had her pressed back into the couch cushions and her shirt half unbuttoned when the door bell rang.

"This is all your fault, if you'd let me have my way, we'd be putting our clothes back on by now." He pressed his face into her hair and let out a choked laugh.

"If you seriously ever think it's going to be that fast, then I really will go out and find Sven." She mock threatened.

"You dare woman!"

The three of them had barely started dinner when he heard the unmistakeable sound of sirens and had to leave.

He had left them with a hurried apology and flown out the door. The night had been unbearable, one tragedy after another, a train derailment in Metropolis, then a multi car pileup in California, a flood in one country, a fire in another, eventually he'd lost track of time, flying here and there. He had finally dragged himself home exhausted almost 7 hours later. He'd expected to find Lois in bed fast asleep but when he'd flown in the window he found a different scene to what he expected.

"Clark is that you?"

"Yeah Lo, sorry I took so long."

"You bastard! Where the hell have you been?" He was lucky he saw the punch coming and was able to let her hit him without breaking her hand. He had no sooner felt her fist connect with his jaw before she all but climbed up his legs, wrapped herself around him and began to cry.

"Baby what's wrong?" He asked quietly, rubbing his hands over her back.

"Don't you baby me." She sobbed into his shoulder. He could barely understand her; she was crying and muttering something about signs. He didn't know what was wrong but clearly something was. He looked up and saw Chloe standing in the lounge, she began to talk under her breath, explaining that his shirt was lost, and it didn't take him long to realise what she meant before she disappeared into the kitchen to give them some privacy.

He sat on the couch with Lois in his lap, her arms were wrapped tight around his neck and her face pressed hard against his shoulder. He listened to her weep about signs, just quietly rubbing his hands over her back, letting her know that he was home and ok. He hated to see Lois so upset, it had taken him almost 15 minutes to calm her down but he never once teased her about her disbelief in signs. This wasn't a joking matter; she'd been genuinely concerned that something had happened to him.

"I'm ok baby, I'm here." He said quietly when her crying was reduced to sniffles.

"I know, but after a while there was nothing on the news and I couldn't find your shirt. I don't know where it is Clark, it's gone."

"We'll find it."

"I've looked, it's gone. I know it's stupid but...but I thought you were gone too."

"Lo, nothing will ever stop me from coming home to you, nothing, ok?"

At her nod, he bent down gave her a quick kiss, and held her for a while longer. When he was sure she was ok, he sat her on the couch and walked into their bedroom. That's when he saw it; every item of clothing they owned was thrown haphazardly around the room, there wasn't an article left hanging in the closets or tucked in the drawers. The bed was in disarray, the covers half on the floor, half still tucked into the mattress, the bedroom was a complete mess.

He picked up one of his flannel shirts from the floor, walked back into the lounge and quietly offered it to her. When she laughed and told him that giving her one defeated the purpose, that she had to steal it, he knew the crisis was past. He sat beside her and she all but curled up into him, not even pulling away when Chloe came back into the room carrying a coffee tray.

The three of them had coffee, and when Lois said good night and excused herself for a shower, he silently gestured for Chloe to stay behind.

"What happened Chlo, I know you told me the shirts missing but…"

"Clark she was fine, we ate dinner, watched the news for a while and saw you in California and everything was ok. Afterwards we watched a movie and when it was over, I was getting ready to leave when Lo switched on the news again, but there was nothing, she began to flip channels but there nothing on any of them. You'd been gone about 3 hours by then; I ended up staying because I could see she was worried. After a while Lois excused herself and went into the bedroom, but when she didn't return after 20 minutes I got concerned. I didn't think she was having a shower because I could hear all this noise, so I followed and found her almost ripping your closet apart. When I asked what she was looking for she wouldn't tell me, she just said that she couldn't find it. I started to help but had to stop and ask what we were searching for. She said that she was looking for a shirt that she liked to wear when it got chilly, and that's when I clued into what was going on. I remembered you told me that Lois likes to wears your shirt when she doesn't know where you are."

Chloe paused and ran a hand through her hair. "We looked everywhere but couldn't find it; she tried to act casual but kept looking at the clock and couldn't sit still. You saw what she was like when you came home. You know how she hates showing any kind of public display, but I really think she'd forgotten that I was even here. I don't remember ever seeing Lois like that; do you know where the shirt is?" Chloe asked quietly.

"No, I thought it was in her closet. Thanks for staying with her Chlo." He said giving her a quick hug.

"I couldn't leave her like that but my god I'm glad your home. I'll see you both at work on Monday ok."

He had walked into the bedroom, used super speed to put all their clothes and items back into place then walked into the bathroom to find Lois standing in front of the mirror combing her hair.

"I know you ate dinner but that was hours ago, are you hungry Lo?" at her head shake "Good, I'll just have a quick shower and then we'll go to bed, ok?"

"You haven't eaten yet and I have to dry my hair first, I hate sleeping on wet hair." She smiled.

"I'm not hungry anymore. I'll dry your hair for you, I know you don't like it, but it'll be quicker. It's been a long night and I just want to hold you, ok." At her nod he undressed stepped into the shower and was out two minutes later.

Leaving the light on dim, they crawled into bed and once comfortable he wrapped his arms around her. "I'll always come back to you Lo." He said quietly kissing her hair.

"I know; I just hate when there's nothing on the news." She replied, hugging him back.

Rolling her under him, he pushed his knee gently between her legs, and moved until he was lying comfortably in the cradle of her thighs. "Do you remember when you tried to break up with me and I told you that I wouldn't give you up?"

"Uh huh."

"I meant it baby, I never will." He promised, bending down to kiss her softly, his hand settled on her jaw encouraging her to open her mouth wider and when she complied he slipped his tongue inside and deepened the kiss. Lifting his head, he opened his eyes and looked into hers. "A stupid shirt won't keep me away, I need you Lo; I'll always come home to you."

She raised her hand, ran it through his hair then laid it against his cheek. "If you ever disappear on me, I'm going to track you down and drag you home. And then I'm going to kick your ass for putting me to the trouble of having to find you before I let you back into bed." She vowed solemnly.

"I feel so loved." He smiled pressing his lips against hers.

"I was so scared, don't you ever do that to me again. Do you know how long it took to find a man willing to put up with me? They're not exactly thick on the ground you know." She murmured against his neck and hugged him tight.

"That's because the men you went out with before me were wimps." He teased relieved to hear her answering gurgle.

"Well I suppose compared to Superman they were wimps."

"Nu uh, they were just wimps who didn't deserve a woman like you, and the ones who weren't wimps were idiots who didn't know a good thing when they had it, but I do." He said cradling her close and kissing her shoulder.

He rolled over so that she wouldn't be crushed by his weight and feeling her body settle familiarly on his, let out a contented sigh.

"I thought you wanted to take advantage of me?" She teased lightly.

"I did." He promptly replied rubbing her bottom.

"Well what are you waiting for? I'm here just the way you like me, y'know naked and in bed, aren't you going to make the most of it." She grinned raising her face from his chest.

"Well I did want to when you came home from the salon, but that was hours ago, I just don't feel in the mood anymore." He sighed theatrically. "But since you're feeling so sweet and mushy towards me, I suppose I'd better make you happy. Well c'mon then, let's have sex and get it over with." He shook his head and gave her his best put upon expression.

He watched as her smile which had gotten bigger at his nonsense turned to a frown. "No, I'm just being inconsiderate and pushy again." She shook her head. "I don't want to _make_ you do anything; you must be so exhausted, we'll just go to sleep. Night Clark!" She pecked him on the cheek, yawned and wiggled on top of him for effect.

"Hey wait a minute; you didn't give me a chance, I was just about to start." He suppressed a chuckle at hearing her fake snore "Baby you're teasing right?" He gave her a quick poke with his finger "Lo c'mon?"

"Oh get on with it before I really do fall asleep."

"Just for that, I might hold out."

"Hah!"

"What'd you mean, hah?"

"Just that; you hold out, please!" She scoffed.

"I can hold out longer than you can."

"No you can't."

"I can so; you're the one who's always crawling all over me and …."

"Ok, if you insist on turning this into a bet." She said and started to slide off him slowly.

"No." He yelped and grabbed back. "Lo, you and I both know that I maybe Superman, but in this relationship, you're the boss and if you say we're gonna have sex, then we're gonna have sex. And if you say you can hold out longer, then you can." He rushed his words together and nodded his head for emphasis.

"Scared huh?" She laughed.

"Terrified!" he replied with feeling.

"Let's just call it a draw." She replied kissing him softly.

"I can live with that." He smiled, rolling her back under him and taking her lips with his.

However, they soon both realised their competition was still on, as they laughed and teased, trying to see who could hold out longer until finally they both became impatient and lunged at each other, and had to concede that neither was the victor and neither cared.

After their hearts and breathing had resumed normal rhythm, he started to move off and to the side, but she tightened her legs around his hips and refused to let him budge "No, don't move, stay."

"Baby, I'll crush you." He quietly replied against her neck.

"I don't care, stay. I want to feel you inside me a little longer." She murmured running her hands over his back before tightening her arms around him.

"Hold on to me, ok." He said quietly, pressing a kiss against the side of her head. At her nod, he floated several inches off the mattress and rolled them both over "Pull your legs out babe." When she complied, he floated them back down, with her lying comfortably on top and her legs either side of him.

"I hate you Clark, I really do."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because you made me need you, I never wanted to need anyone like I need you. When we met I told you that I was independent and self-sufficient and now I'm not. I was so scared tonight; I knew that if anything happened to you, if you didn't come back to me, the rest of my life would be so lousy." She raised her head, he could read the truth in her eyes and lifting his hand smoothed away her tears.

"Nothing's going to happen to me." he replied softly.

She framed his face with her hands and looked into his eyes "I hate when you say that, you're Superman, not Indestructible man. If I knew that the boy I couldn't stand; would turn into the man I couldn't live without, I'd have run a mile in the opposite direction."

"If I knew the girl I couldn't stand would turn out to be the one person I'd love more than any other, I would have snatched you up when we met." He riposted back, lifting his head to meet her descending mouth, surprised when she moved her head backwards.

She smiled slightly and shook her head "Um I don't think so; I think you would have picked up Lana and run for the nearest JP."

"To hell with Lana, I like to think I would have been smart enough to grab onto you."

"Yeah, I'm sure you'd like to think that."

"Are you saying you don't think I would have been?"

"I'm saying that you would have gone whinging to Chloe that you were meteor infected and needed help."

"I never whinged." at her lifted brow he quickly amended "Ok I did, but I don't anymore" at her second lifted brow "Ok, I do, but now I only whinge when you don't get undressed and into bed fast enough."

"We're lucky if we even make it to the bed half the time." Her amused expression vanished "You asked me to promise to never leave you; now I want the same promise in return."

"I'll never leave you baby. I promise, _**never**_. I couldn't Lo, I'll either come back or I'll take you with me, but you and I are in this for life." He replied soberly.

Leaning down she kissed him softly "I love you Clark, please be careful, please."

"I will; it took me a long time to catch you Lo and I'm not ever going to let you go." He vowed crushing her gently.

"Good, because it took me a long time to love you and I don't want you to." She said hugging him back.

The next time he disappeared off the news radar he came home and found her in his expensive, brand new, never worn dress shirt. When he lifted his eyebrow, she told him that he might not come back for the ratty piece of flannel that she'd stolen before, but she knew he'd come back for his new shirt. He agreed before removing it, reminding her that he much preferred her in nothing at all.

Opening is eyes Clark looked around the loft, for the first time he understood just how scared Lois felt when he disappeared of the news radar, because he now felt the same.

After some of the memories he'd had earlier, he was even more grateful that Lois had ever given him a chance, but she had and he was just going to be thankful for it.

His mom was right, he couldn't change his thoughts, feelings or actions from years ago; he still wished that his infatuation for Lana hadn't been so all consuming but it couldn't be undone. He wasn't willing to do anything that could drive Lois away, and if by dwelling on his past selfishness would do that, he'd rather do as his mom suggested and just let it go.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

Lana quietly kept busy in the kitchen, her hands occupied with one task, while her mind was busy with more important matters.

She couldn't get what Clark said out of her mind. She never thought she'd be grateful to her ex-husband for anything, but whatever Lex had said seemed to have hit the right button. Clark loved her, he really and truly did.

All afternoon she prepared this and that, made small talk with the other women while waiting impatiently for Clark to wake up and come into the house. When Martha came back after checking on him the second time and said he would soon be in, she waited 10 minutes, but when he didn't appear she left with the excuse of calling him inside for a cup of coffee, not missing the knowing look in Lois' eyes and not caring about it either.

She walked into the barn and up the stairs to find Clark sitting on the couch looking out of the window, he looked so forlorn and she understood instantly. When she was engaged to Lex, she remembered wanting to be happy with him, but Clark had been on her mind. It was Clark she missed, Clark she loved and wanted, and now he was going through the same thing. His heart was in conflict; engaged to one woman, wanting to be happy with her, while trying to fight his love for another.

"Clark are you ok?"

"Hey Lana, yeah I'm fine, thanks."

Taking a seat beside him on the couch, she picked up his hand and smiled softly "You can't blame yourself for what you remember, everyone knows how we felt and Chloe was right, Lois would understand because the two of you weren't together then." She said quietly but firmly.

"I know." He smiled. "It's ok Lana, I'm not dwelling on it anymore; I've accepted it." He said squeezing her hand before letting go.

"Do you want to talk about what Lex said; I'll listen if it'll help. I was one of his victims too remember, so I know how Lex can twist things to make someone else appear in the wrong." She smiled in commiseration.

"No thanks Lana, I spoke with mom and I just have to let it go now."

"I'm glad. So why haven't you come back into the house then?"

"I was thinking about Joanne, I just want her to come back."

"She will and the two of you can sort yourselves out." She laughed. "Can I be there when you tell her what young Lois was doing?"

"Oh I imagine everyone will want to tell her what young Lois was doing." He replied with a chuckle.

"Well I'm certainly looking forward to it, especially the part where she told me to buy a dress similar to the one I wore to the prom, and how you almost choked on saying that you thought I looked nice." She smiled archly.

"All I was thinking about then was shutting Lois up." Clark shrugged sheepishly.

"So you don't think I looked…hmm, what were the words Lois used; 'beautiful and radiant." She grinned.

He grinned back, "C'mon Lana, how am I supposed to remember?"

"Charming, there's a man for you." She laughed. "So what are you looking forward to telling Joanne?"

"How her younger self conned you into making dinner and subscripted me to help you, just so we'd spend some time together?"

"I wasn't conned." She said indignantly but at his lifted brow began to laugh.

"Hey guys what's going on, I thought you were coming in for coffee." Chloe called out walking up the stairs.

"We are; that's actually why I came out here to get you." Lana smiled at Clark. "We got distracted talking about what we were going to tell Joanne when she comes back, y'know about Lois trying to throw us together." She turned a smiling face to Chloe to let her in on the joke.

"Oh yeah, well cut me in on the action, Lois doesn't embarrass easily, so I'm really looking forward to it." Chloe said sitting on the coffee table.

"Well I'm going for the prom dress; Clark's going for the cooking, what about you Chloe?"

"The coffee and conversation." Chloe replied promptly with a smile.

"Why that one?"

"Because I still think it's hilarious how Lois all but shoved you into Clark's lap, and insisted on making the coffee then asked for my help to carry it back to the table just to leave you two alone. And then to bring up your relationship after the meteor shower…" Chloe started laughing.

"What's so funny?" Lana asked.

"I loved the way she was trying to make the two of you sound romantic, but all she could say was how happy you looked. Lois is no Danielle Steel." Chloe said shaking her head.

The three of them looked at each other and began to laugh once again.

"No matter what version is around, Lois is damn entertaining." Clark said softly before snorting out a laugh "I haven't told you the latest."

"What latest?" Chloe enquired.

"She's now calling my younger self Skipper."

"What, why Skipper?"

"Because when she first found Shelby, I wanted to call him Skippy, Lois shot down my suggestion, and began to call him Clarky." At both girls suppressed laughter, he went on "When I said that we weren't calling him Clarky, she suggested that to avoid confusion that I should change _my_ name, and that I can be called Skipper. At the time I wasn't impressed." Clark chuckled as both girls went into gales of laughter.

'C'mon lets go back in." Chloe suggested once the laughter died down.

When they walked into the kitchen Clark noticed his mom had a subdued expression on her face and Lois was nowhere in sight. "Mom what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry honey, the phone rang and Lois answered, it was Oliver." She said quietly.

"Is she alright?"

"No." Martha replied shaking her head. "They talked for a few minutes and then she hung up. I tried to talk to her but she excused herself and went up to her room."

Clark's heart began to hurt for both of them. "Do you think I should talk to her?"

"Don't Clark, she won't like it, Lois is a pretty private person, she's not Joanne, she won't talk to you, I'll go up, ok?" Chloe said quietly retreating up the stairs at his nod.

"Did you hear what they said mom?"

"It was just general honey but I could see that she was hurting." Martha replied putting her arm around his waist.

Clark nodded and silently poured everyone coffee, wishing this nightmare would soon be over, wishing that he'd been there to answer the phone; and hurting that Lois was torn up about another man.

***

Chloe knocked quietly on the door. "Lo, can I come in?"

When the door opened a few minutes later, Chloe could see that Lois was trying to hold everything inside, but her eyes were glassy with suppressed tears and her jaw wobbled.

"What's up Chloe?"

"Martha told us that Ollie called."

"Yeah."

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"No, there's no point is there, but thanks anyway Chlo. For him it's been 8 years, for me 2 months, I just have to move past it." Lois replied firmly and shrugged.

"I know you find it hard to believe right now, but you did get over it." Chloe said moving into the room and sitting on the bed.

"I'm looking forward to that. I've had it with men Chlo; do you know how many boyfriends I've had that have left me?" At Chloe's head shake, Lois' smile wobbled. "A few of them Chlo, there's been a few. I thought with Ollie it was going to work out. I wasn't even looking, and then he was just there. I really thought, hey this relationships going to work out. How stupid was I?"

"You weren't stupid Lo, you liked him and hoped."

"Well it just goes to show that hopings for idiots. I always hoped that he'd come back, that he'd miss me and come back. But here we are 8 years later, and I was so unimportant to him that he never came back, never wanted me back." As the tears began to flow, Chloe put her arms around Lois and held her while she cried.

When Lois' tears abated Chloe picked up the tissues and handed them over. "I'm sorry Lo, sorry that I wasn't there for you 8 years ago when he left, but I'm here now and so are you, if you want to talk I'll listen." Chloe said quietly.

"I'll be ok Chlo, you know me, nothing keeps me down for long and certainly not some _man._"

"Ok but if you change your mind I'm here alright?" Pulling Lois into a hug Chloe squeezed tight.

"Yeah, thanks." Lois replied squeezing back.

"You going to come downstairs?"

"In a little while, I can't come down now but I'll be down in a little while, promise."

"Ok."

***

"How is she Chloe?" Clark asked anxiously.

"Sad." Chloe replied helping herself to a cup of coffee before sitting at the table.

"Can you tell us what she said?"

"No, it's private; sorry."

"Understood."

"She said she'll be down in a little while." Chloe smiled.

"Ok." He knew that he'd offered to talk to Lois earlier, but having to listen while she spoke about Oliver wasn't something he was looking forward to doing. Pulling out his cell phone he walked outside and returned Oliver's call.

"Hey Ollie, mom said you called."

"Yeah, sorry Clark I haven't got anything for you, the guys and I have questioned a number of people, contacts, snitches everything but if anyone knows anything, no one's talking. I didn't get the feeling that anyone was trying to hide anything though, and neither did the others. We'll keep looking but so far we've come up blank."

"Thanks Ollie, um mom said you talked to Lois?"

"Yeah, sorry I should have called your cell, even though we're looking into this because of what's going on, I honestly never even thought about it until after she picked up. Is she alright?"

"She's ok, a little upset, but ok. How are you doing?"

"Not so good. As soon as she answered I realised it was the Lois that I just left 8 years ago and it was hard, our conversation was kind of stilted. I'm sorry Clark; I imagine this isn't easy for you either, huh." Hearing the genuine remorse and sympathy in Oliver's voice, Clark felt somewhat comforted.

"No." He replied rubbing his hand over his thigh, "This is pretty much hard for all of us, but I just keep holding onto the fact that Lois was in the Medical Centre for 5 days, so my fiancé will back day after tomorrow."

"Yeah. Look I'll let you go, but next time I'll call on your cell ok?"

"Ok, thanks Ollie." Clark replied before hanging up the phone.

Scrubbing his hand over his face he returned to the kitchen and asked everyone what they felt like having for dinner. Once pizza was settled on, he flew off and duly returned and when his mom called Lois to join them for dinner, they were all relieved that she seemed intent on not allowing one phone call to keep her down.

***

Clark only managed to eat one slice of pizza when he had to leave for a Superman call, the women ate and conversed and once finished all pitched in to clean up.

"Well I'm going to head on home but I'll see you all tomorrow. Thanks for dinner Martha, it was lovely." Lana smiled at the group and waved at their calls of goodnight.

While driving home, her hands and feet automatically guided the car but her mind was busy with more important matters. She couldn't believe how happy she was; she'd only wanted a little sign and instead got the mother lode. Lois had died and Clark hadn't even thought of her, he'd been so unconcerned about Lois in the hospital that he'd come running to the Luthor Mansion to see if she was alright.

It made no difference that he didn't know Lois was physically dead in the future; it made no difference that she was just a friend and not his fiancé then. The truth will out. Just the fact that Lois was in the Medical Centre; Clark had a terrible feeling that something was wrong; and still hadn't even given Lois a thought spoke volumes.

She'd always known if Lois had died 8 years ago, Clark would barely have missed her, but with his words he'd confirmed everything. Hadn't she always thought it was Lois in the past she needed to get at, and now it seemed that she wouldn't even need to do that. Usually it was Lois that occupied Clark's thoughts, but Joanne had only been gone for three days and already he was remembering that it was her he'd thought of 8 years ago; not Lois.

When Lois tried to tell her that Clark didn't love her anymore, hadn't she told Lois that Clark would _**never**_ get over her? She knew it, she'd always know it but his words were like a soothing balm to her soul.

The only love Lois got from Clark were the scraps, the left overs, the stuff that was thrown away as so much garbage. She wished that Lois, either Lois had been there when Clark had remembered. He might have spoken in front of her unthinking until it was too late. He'd been embarrassed, but there was no doubt he was speaking the truth, it had been clear in his voice and on his face and Lois would have known it.

She couldn't be too cocky, not yet, at the moment he still believed that those were feelings of old, she'd just have to get him to face it; to face the fact that his love for her was very much alive. He wouldn't want to admit it, so she needed to figure out how to get him to reveal the truth that was hiding in his heart, and she needed to do it in a way that he wouldn't be able to take back later.

Clark was a gentleman, he'd feel honour bound to keep to the engagement, at least until Joanne came back and he could talk to her, or worse still insist on carrying on with the engagement not wanting to embarrass the woman. She needed to do something while Joanne wasn't here so that when she returned, Clark could present Joanne with a fait accompli, letting her know that she couldn't persuade him, she couldn't bewitch him; that his heart belonged to another and always had.

The worst part of her marriage, of her whole relationship with Lex had been the sex, she'd hated every second of it. The only way she could get through it was to hope it was over quickly while imagining she was with Clark. After hearing his earlier revelation, she now knew without doubt that he was doing the same thing with Lois. Repulsed at the thought of having sex with the woman, pretending to enjoy it, feigning happiness in her arms but determined to make the best of it. He'd never be able to take a lifetime of it, just as she hadn't, and the thought of him even trying hurt.

She had only ever envied Lois one thing, Clark but now she envied the way Lois could be so bold and confrontational. She wanted to confront Clark the same way Lois had done with her. No holds barred, hammering at him until he finally admitted the truth but that wasn't her way and he wouldn't appreciate it. He liked the soft approach, which was just another reason why she couldn't understand what he saw in Lois, one reason in a long, long list of reasons.

All afternoon while she made small talk with Lois, while she helped Chloe and Martha with the cooking, all she could think about was Clark and everything he had revealed.

No matter how she played her next hand, Clark's revelation was better than she could have hoped for. She couldn't wait to get home, she was still going to look into other spells as a back-up plan, but Clark was hers again, all she had to do now was make him face it, and then re-claim him.

***

_Kent farm_

"Well it's still early, so did you want to start getting a few more things ready for cooking tomorrow Martha?" Chloe asked and at Martha's nod the two women began to pull out pots and sundry items.

"Need any help?" Lois looked hopefully from one woman to the other, but seeing the hesitation on their faces rolled her eyes, "I can cut up vegetables and things." She huffed.

"No cutting Lo."

"Well how about I make something that doesn't include knives. I'll make a cake or brownies or muffins; something for supper tonight and if everyone likes it, I'll make another for the party, what'd you think?"

As neither woman could hold out against the pleading in her eyes, Lois was soon happily occupied.

Clark returned 10 minutes later to find the kitchen a hive of activity and while eating the dinner his mom had left for him, he sat at the kitchen island watching Lois. His mom had whispered that she wanted to make a cake for supper and as neither she nor Chloe could say no, they were all most likely going to have indigestion later. He'd quietly whispered back that he kept a bottle of Tums handy for when Joanne cooked for him, and had to bite his cheek not to laugh at their looks of relief.

Lois' face was a picture of concentration as she studied the recipe and blew the hair out of her eyes before closing the cook book with a decisive snap and a nod of her head.

"Um Lo don't you need the book?"

"Nope, it's all up here." She replied tapping her temple.

"Have you made this before?"

"No, but it doesn't look that hard, just add everything together, mix and throw it in the oven."

"But…"

"Clark, who's making this, you or me, now hush." She said before throwing all the ingredients into the bowl and mixing.

He noticed that every now and again she'd mutter about this not being the right amount, or needing more of something else and finally understood just why her cooking was so bad. She not only didn't use cook books, she then added whatever seemed appropriate to her untrained eye.

"Um Lo, I don't mean to pick, but are you sure you're not adding too much of well…everything." Clark asked hesitantly.

"Nope, it's gonna be great, just wait'll you taste it." She replied confidently and after scooping the mixture into a pan, put it in the oven. "Ok, well that should only take about 15 minutes. The book says 30 but that's only if the oven is set at certain degree, so I put the oven up higher to cut the time in half." She smiled proud of her logic, totally unconcerned at the looks the three people in the kitchen were sharing. "It's just a little soldiers trick; don't waste unnecessary time that can be put to better use." She nodded gratified that she'd made her point.

"And speaking of that, I'm just going to have a quick shower, if I take a little longer than 15 minutes it should still be ok, but just in case I'm not out in say…25 minutes, can you take the cake out of the oven for me?" At Clarks bemused nod, she swung around and walked up the stairs.

Once he heard the sound of the shower running, Clark jumped up to retrieve the book, flipping pages madly to find out what temperature the oven should be set at and calling out to Chloe who was already at the oven control.

"God no wonder I feel like she's poisoning me. The woman can't cook, and then makes something she's never made before and on top of that, insists on adapting the recipe to suit herself." Clark didn't know whether to laugh or groan.

"Clark you said you had Tums, please go and get them honey." He raced out at his mom's request and was back less than a minute later holding the Tums up like a trophy.

"What if she comes out of the shower and notices that the oven's been put lower." Chloe asked.

Clark scoffed. "She won't be out for at least 40 minutes, maybe longer. Do either of you think you can whip this up so that she thinks it's hers? I can bake it with my heat vision if necessary."

"I can do it, but then she'll think it's good and want to cook for the party; we can't do that to all the guests." Martha said quietly.

"Martha, you know Lois, she'll find a way to horn in on the cooking anyway; if Joanne was here she would have as well." Clark nodded vigorously at Chloe's logic.

"Please do it mom, not only for all of us but for her, if she eats her cake, she'll know how awful it is." Clark pleaded.

"Ok, but are you sure she won't know it's not hers?" Martha wanted to save everyone from Lois' cooking but not at the expense of hurting her feelings.

"Believe me mom; I know Lois and she won't have a clue." Clark replied with confidence and relief.

"How on earth hasn't she noticed that her cooking's so awful?" Chloe asked absently.

"Lois loves chocolate but she's indifferent to other sweets so she hardly ever eats them, you know that Chlo." Clark reminded her.

"Hmm, I'm starting to wonder if she doesn't just enjoy inflicting her offerings on others, but ensures her own stomach stays safe." Clark laughed appreciating Chloe's droll humour.

"Maybe she's eaten her own cooking for so long that she no longer has any taste buds left." Martha put in, causing Clark and Chloe to shout out in surprised laughter.

When Lois returned an hour later it was to find her cake sitting on the side cooling "Sorry, I took longer than I expected, thanks for getting it out for me." She smiled at Clark who nodded "So who wants brownie cake with coffee then?" She looked around hopeful and when everyone said yes, served it up and flushed with pleasure at their evident enjoyment.

"See Clark, I don't need some stinking book, I'm a natural."

"Yeah Lo, I guess you are." He smiled and held out his plate for a second helping.

The four sat at the table enjoying cake and coffee and small talk.

"What are you thinking about Lo?" Chloe asked and sipped her coffee.

"Hmm oh well, I was wondering what I should make for the party. I could make a cake but that was really easy, maybe I should try something a little more adventurous, what'd you think?" Lois asked eagerly.

"You….well, umm Martha what do you think Lois could make for the party?" Chloe stumblingly passed the ball to Martha.

"I...well dear, I'm not really sure; Clark, Joanne cooks for you, what do you think Lois should make?" Martha turned and passed the buck to her son.

"Joanne's cooked for you?"

"Yeah, she usually just makes me sweets though."

"Oh, ok, well what'd you think?" Lois asked smiling.

"Umm well, I'm not sure, but it's too late to start cooking tonight, and tomorrow we're going to Metropolis and you'll probably be tired when we come back, so we'll worry about what you can make tomorrow night." He nodded pleased with his reply and soon found out that he'd said the wrong thing.

"What'd you mean 'worry about it', you said you enjoyed my cake, what'd you mean by 'worry'." Lois demanded crooking her fingers and quoting him back.

"I just meant that we should think about it tomorrow, I didn't mean worry as in worry." He quickly amended, purposely ignoring the smirks on his mom and Chloe's faces.

"Oh, ok." Lois nodded pacified.

***

Lying in bed Lois contemplated the events of the day and thought that overall the day hadn't been too bad or at the very least, it could have been worse, she hadn't died and any day when she was still alive at the end of it had to be a good day.

Realising Lana hated her was unpleasant and knowing she felt like that because of Clark frustrated her, but she really shouldn't have been surprised. The moment she knew that Lana loved Clark, she should have realised that hate to be hard on its heels.

Talking to Ollie, hearing his voice had been hard, it had taken her back to when they were happy together, to when she thought she made him happy and he loved her.

Unable to settle, she climbed out of bed, put on her warm dressing gown, grabbed her cigarettes and went down the stairs. Being as quiet as possible to not rouse either Martha or Chloe, she opened and closed the kitchen door quietly and sat on the porch swing.

"Hey Shelby." She gave him a quick scratch, he lay down at her feet and softly pushing off with her foot, she put the swing into motion and thought about Oliver.

She wished she knew or understood why he left, one moment he was proposing they go away together and the next he was telling her that he was leaving.

Digging the cigarettes out of her pocket she lit one up and looked at the stars. Oliver had sounded genuinely sorry when he said that he was leaving, but it hadn't stopped him. He seemed sincerely heartbroken but resolute.

Closing her eyes she was once again in his apartment listening to him as he told her he was leaving, telling her that he'd never missed anyone when he moved on before, but that he was going to miss her.

Feeling the swing being pushed down and assuming Shelby had joined her, she put out her hand to stroke him, and found her hand wasn't stroking fur but a hard male thigh. She snatched her hand away and her eyes flew open.

"Clark, sorry I thought you were Shelby." She knew her face was flushed and hoped he didn't say anything to embarrass her further. "What are you doing out here?"

"I had a Superman call and was just about to go in the house for a cup of coffee before going to bed when I noticed you on the porch." He replied amused.

"Oh, well don't let me keep you." She replied taking a drag on her cigarette.

"Are you ok?"

"Just peachy, thanks."

"Anything I can help you with?"

"No, I'm fine."

"Then why are you sitting outside on a cold night instead of being in bed?" He asked patiently.

"I'm outside having a cigarette." She countered back lifting the stick to show him.

"Is this about Joanne?"

"Clark, I don't need a father confessor ok."

"How about a friend?"

"You must have forgotten that we didn't talk about personal stuff much." She smiled.

"I haven't forgotten. I know we weren't best friends, but I did consider you a friend, I'd like to think you considered me one too." He said quietly and sincerely.

"You were a pretty good friend." She nodded stubbing out the cigarette.

"Only pretty good, now that's resounding praise."

"Clark I'm fine, just get your coffee and go to bed." She said patiently.

"Is it Oliver?" He heard her pulse jump and knew that he'd hit the nail on the head.

"No, it's not Oliver, it's not anyone. I'm going in, goodnight." She replied and stood up.

"Lois, wait please. I'm sorry, I don't mean to push, I just…" he trailed off and shrugged, "I guess I just want you to know that if you want to talk, I'll listen."

The night was clear and the moon was full, so when she swung back around, he could clearly see the sadness in her eyes that she was trying to disguise. "Talk about what, Oliver, there's nothing to talk about, he's gone and that's all there is to it."

"I'm sorry that you're hurting." Clark stood up, walked to the railing and leant against the post.

"Hurts a part of life, it lets you know that you're alive." Lois replied flippantly.

"I'm sorry that you're relationship with Oliver didn't work out." He smiled slightly.

"Are you really?"

"No, but I am sorry that you're hurting right now."

She nodded and reaching into her pocket took out the cigarettes, lit one and drew deep, blowing out the stream of smoke, she silently studied him through the haze. He didn't know what she was looking for, maybe just to see if he was sincere, maybe just trying to decide if she wanted to open up, but he stayed silent resolved not to push.

He didn't want to listen to Lois talk about Oliver, but he'd do it, this wasn't about him, it was about her and he couldn't selfishly ignore her hurt, not even to spare himself. It was several minutes before she began to talk and he was honestly glad that she felt comfortable enough with him to do so.

"I remember after AC left you told me that one day I'd meet someone even more special. I didn't believe you at the time but it sounded nice; and then one day I opened the door and there was Ollie." She shrugged, tucked her hair behind her ear and sat down on the swing again. Folding one leg underneath her bottom she pushed lightly with her free foot and put the swing in motion. "As soon as I looked into his eyes, there was something there, a connection I guess, and the longer I knew him the stronger it became." Brushing a hand through her hair, she closed her eyes and lifted her face to the sky.

"I know it's not much, but you will get over it." Clark replied sitting on the swing beside her.

"Why did he leave Clark, do you know?" She opened her eyes and turned her face towards his.

He nodded. "Yes, but it's between the two of you; I can only say that you will understand in time."

"He told me he was leaving and then he said 'this is it, the moment I'm going to regret for the rest of my life, isn't it', and I said yes, kissed him and walked away." A tear slipped down her cheek, she pressed her lips together and swallowed. "But I don't want him to be miserable. I don't want to know if he's met anyone else, but I don't want him to live with regrets either. I want him to be happy, is he?" She asked wiping her cheek.

Clark hesitated "Yeah I think he is." Oliver was happy with his work and that was as close to the truth as he could give her.

"I'm glad." She nodded.

"Really?"

"Yes. Ollie's a wonderful guy and I want him to be happy, I'm just sorry that I couldn't give him what he needed, y'know." The smile on her face was so sad that he wanted to gather her close, and once again felt the restriction of their circumstance.

"He had to leave Lo, but it wasn't because of you and as lame as it is you will understand in time." Clark reached out and clasped her hand, quietly satisfied when she didn't pull it away.

"Ollie was the first guy that really got me y'know, I clicked with AC too, but he was only around for a few days, but with Ollie there was just ….something." Taking a last drag on her cigarette, she let go of his hand, bent down and put it out before sitting back up again.

"You'll find someone else who'll get you a whole lot better than anyone ever has or ever will." He smiled softly.

"You mean you?" Lois questioned and he was pleased to see a genuine smile quirk on her lips.

"Uh huh, believe it or not, me."

"I can't imagine that. You and I never got each other. If I said white, you said black, if you said east, I said west. The only thing you and I had in common was finding ways to bug each other."

"We still do." He smiled glad when she reciprocated "But we bug each other differently now."

"How do you put up with my talking, you always thought I talked too much and how do I put up with your brooding?" Lois asked cocking her head to the side.

"We've both adapted and grown. You still talk but I enjoy it now, and I don't brood anymore."

"Not at all?" she asked sceptically.

"Hardly ever, but when I do it's usually because I wasn't fast enough to save someone." He laughed. "Joanne let's me get it out of my system, then kicks me in the butt to get over it if she feels I've been stewing over it too long."

"You don't think she's being insensitive?" Lois enquired.

"No, I think she's a damn incisive woman, one that I'm lucky to have."

"Hmm, you know I never tried to imagine what my future would be like, but I can say that I never expected this."

"I can say that Skipper didn't either."

"I think we all know how Skipper expected his future to be." Lois smiled "I did expect you and Lana to end up together. I know where I'm from she's marrying Lex, but I never thought it would last, any idiot can see that she's marrying him on the re-bound."

"Am I the idiot in that sentence?" His lips quirked and his eyes gleamed in humour.

Lois nodded. "Only one of them."

"If it helps, I'm not that much of an idiot anymore." He said in a meek voice, chuckling when Lois looked at him and grinned.

"You're an alright guy Clark. I like you better this way. Don't get me wrong, Skippers an alright guy too, but…"

"But he's a pain in the ass?"

"Yeah, I'm really not into teenage soap opera love, even when I was younger I wasn't into it. Not only is it boring but why enjoy being miserable when you could be happy, I just never got it I guess." Lois shrugged and threw him an apologetic look.

"You never got it because it's dumb and you're not." He pointed out and smiled when she looked at him again. "I was a painful kid, but out of everyone I knew, even though we didn't get along, I was more comfortable with you than anyone."

"Hmm." She smiled politely but he could clearly tell she didn't believe him.

"It's true Lo." He affirmed quietly. "Before Chloe and Lana found out about my origins, about what I can do, they suspected I had something to hide and for years they tried to find out what it was. You never did that, you just accepted me. You thought I was a dork, and a pain but you never spent time trying to find out if I had a secret and what it was. I was normal in your eyes and that was what I wanted then, to just be normal and accepted." He said sincerely.

"You're entitled to your privacy Clark, even if I thought you were hiding something I wouldn't have tried to find out what it was." She nodded and gestured with her hand "You can't have total honesty without giving it, and as I wasn't about to do that, I wouldn't have demanded that you tell me everything about yourself. And even if I was, it would still have to be a two way agreement, not a showdown where I tell you that I'm going to spill my guts, and now expect the same in return you understand?"

He nodded "Yeah and that's what I mean, you never tried to sneak around, you didn't demand answers, nor did you try to emotionally blackmail me into telling you anything; you didn't even think I had anything to hide, and you have no idea how good it felt to have someone look at me and only see Clark Kent, not a puzzle that needed solving."

"You do know that I saw Clark Kent emotional basket case, right?" She grinned.

"Well yeah but that goes without saying." He grinned back "But take the Prom for instance, no one else could have gotten me to go Lo, but you did."

"Oh I think there was one other person that could have gotten you to go." She chuckled. "And then you dumped me for her pretty fast, if I recall." Her shoulders began to shake at the affronted look he shot her.

"Lois." Clark said patiently enjoying their camaraderie. "I meant that I hadn't intended to go because I wanted to go with Lana but that didn't work out. And if I recall correctly, you told me to go and dance with her."

"Oh please, if I hadn't let you go, more than likely you would have stepped on my toe or kicked me in the shin just to put me out of action, so that you _could_ go and dance with Lana." Lois replied solemnly.

He could see her eyes were alight with humour and knowing that she was teasing he played along. "I would not! I might have tripped you up on purpose, pushed you into the punch bowl even, but I would never kick a lady." He replied indignantly.

Her laughter rang out and his soon joined it "You're alright Clark, you really are."

"You are too Lo, you are too." He said grasping her hand again and squeezing.

"Well, not to rain on your parade or anything, but you do realise that if I hadn't been body jacked by a dead prom queen wanna be, I wouldn't have cared less if you went to your Prom or not, you get that right?" Lois said honestly.

"I know Lo, I know that you were possessed and Dawn was controlling you, but it was still you that made me go; not Dawn." Clark smiled. "Not including Lana for obvious reasons, Dawn could have possessed any number of girls, hell she could have possessed every other girl in town, and not one of them would have convinced me to attend the Prom, you were able to do it, but no one else would have succeeded. I know now that the Prom's not the big deal everyone thinks it is in high school, but at the time it was important, and if wasn't for you I would have missed it." He quietly affirmed.

"You make me sound like Mother Theresa or something." Lois shifted uncomfortably.

"Um no Lo, you could never be a nun, for which I'm truly grateful." Clark chuckled, and laughed harder when she elbowed him in the side.

***

Lying in bed Clark thought about his conversation with Lois, and was truly glad that he'd been able to put aside his own feelings and help her even a little.

He knew that Lois had cared about Oliver and listening to her speak about his leaving, hearing her say that she'd felt a connection with him, hadn't hurt him like he'd expected.

Joanne loved him, she'd told him that she loved him more than she knew it was possible to love anyone, and remembering that, knowing it was true for both of them, he couldn't begrudge young Lois' present belief that Oliver was the only man who'd ever understand her.

At this point in their lives, Lois and Skipper were fighting against the connection they felt. They finished each other's sentences, and spoke aloud the same thoughts at the same time; they were complete opposites who needed each other to be whole. They were each other's Yin & Yang but right now, they were too young, too blind and too stubborn to see or acknowledge it.

Turning his head he looked through the walls and saw Lois fast asleep in bed.

Joanne had told him that Oliver had been special to her, that she'd cared about him deeply and had he stayed, she would have had the chance to discover if what she felt was really love or not, but he'd left and in the end Oliver had just been another relationship that didn't work out.

Every step she'd taken in her life, every relationship she'd had before him, had made her into the woman that he loved, and he wouldn't change a thing.


	23. Chapter 23

Hello, well here is the next two chapters. Unfortunately in the first one we're back in 2007. Sorry about that, but just remember; no matter how bad it is for you, you're only reading this stuff, I had to write this shit; and I'm being nice enough not to leave you in Suxville '07, lol.

Also I've only just realised that the asterixes I use in my stories to separate one section from another haven't been coming up, which would of course make it somewhat confusing for the reader to separate character thoughts etc. Hopefully, I've solved this problem now, but I apologise if prior to this you were finding it hard to follow any story of mine that you've read.

Linda

OoO

**Chapter 23**

_Day Four – 2007_

Clark woke up early and stared at the ceiling. Today would be the fourth day that Lois was in the Medical Centre and the longer she was unconscious the harder it was to stay positive for Chloe's sake. If there had been any change, good or bad the phone would have rung and they would have heard, which meant that she was still unconscious.

He'd once told his dad that he'd do anything to get rid of Lois and now wished he could unsay those words. Although the passage of time had bridged the gap between them and they still got on each other's nerves, he didn't want her to die.

Rolling over, his eyes fell on his wallet and picking it up, he opened it to a photo of Lana and his eyes filled with tears. How could he have let her go, how could he have walked away? She had been all he'd ever wanted and he'd stupidly pushed her away and let her be swooped up by Lex.

He didn't care how desperate he looked, how pathetic and needy, he was going to talk to her, he'd make her listen, to understand and tell her he loved her. He'd beg her to marry him instead of Lex if he had to, but he was going to have his say.

Although he'd never ever wish what happened to Lois on her or anyone else, this was the first time in months that Lana had even bothered talking to him; and selfish or not, he was going to use the opportunity now that it had been given to him.

Lana was always meant to be with him; they were meant to be together. When he lost his memory, when he was on RedK, even when he'd had that Grey Kryptonite inside, it was Lana he went to, Lana he searched out and Lana he wanted. It would always be Lana, no matter what stuff was inside him, his heart knew it belonged to Lana Lang.

He'd tried to do the noble thing and walk away so she wouldn't be hurt by him and instead he'd hurt her more. He'd also done a stupid thing when he was on RedK by kidnapping her from her own engagement party, this time he'd just ask her to listen and talk to her. He wouldn't tell her everything about his 'alien origins', not yet, not until he knew that she still loved him and wanted him back, but at least he could comfort himself with the knowledge that if she did love him, when he told her the truth she wouldn't turn from him.

The last time he told her everything she'd still loved him, still wanted to marry him and he'd foolishly pushed her away thinking that she'd be better off without him, but she wasn't. He and Lana were only better with each other, not apart and he was going to do everything he could to get her back.

Nodding decisively he got up, dressed, fed the animals, did the chores, showered and dressed all within 2 hours. He could have been faster but didn't see the need, Lana would probably only now be waking up, so there was no reason to hurry but at some point today he was going to talk to her and hopefully by tonight, he'd know what being happy felt like again.

OoO

Lana woke up saw Lex lying beside her and wanted to be happy but couldn't. The first morning she'd woken up with a boy it had been Clark, and although she hated herself for it, it was still Clark she wanted to see lying beside her, it was still Clark's arms she wanted around her, it was still Clark she wanted.

Getting up, she went into the bathroom, closed the door, stepped into the shower and turned the taps on full, once she was sure the sound of water would drown out any other sounds, let go of the tears that had been pent for what felt like forever and cried a storm.

She still loved him. She still loved Clark, she thought she was over it, she thought that at best, there was only lingering feelings of nostalgia for him but she was wrong. She was scared and wary, he'd hurt her, he'd pushed her aside and she knew that if they got back together, he'd do it again and again. Clark only wanted her now because she was with Lex, if she wasn't, if she was still sitting around wearing the willow for him, he would still be happy to keep her out of his life.

It was only because she was with Lex, because she was going to marry him that Clark wanted her back. She held her face up and let the water beat down on it, almost jumping when she felt arms slip around her waist and up to cup her breasts.

God, she had to pretend she was happy to have sex with Lex and the only way she could do that was to pretend he was Clark. Stretching her lips into a smile, she turned her head and kissed Lex good morning.

"Mmm, morning, you started without me." Lex said after lifting his mouth from hers.

"Umm, yeah, I have to call Chloe and see if she needs me to come over." Feeling his thumbs rub over her nipples she wanted to shiver, and when one hand slid down her torso and into the curls on her mound she had to stop herself from grabbing his hand and flinging it off. When his fingers parted her, began to slide through her folds, while his other hand turned her face to press his mouth against hers, she obediently opened her mouth to his invading tongue.

Turning her around, Lex pressed her back against the shower wall, and slid his knee between her legs to open her to his invading hand. His fingers rubbed over the creases and folds, tugged on the hair gently before he slipped one finger inside. His mouth closed over her breast, pulling and sucking strongly on one nipple then turning to repeat the action on the other. She pressed her hand against his head, holding him against herself and endured.

When he gently lifted her up and down onto his shaft, she closed her eyes and pretended he was Clark, feeling him invading her, pushing in and pulling out, his teeth and lips sucking on her breasts, she feigned pleasure. She cried out and when he finally pushed in one last time and emptied himself into her, she began to sob because as much as she didn't want to enjoy it, she had.

Lex was a master of seduction, he was talented and knew what he was doing, but for all of that, it was still Clark she thought off, still Clarks less than graceful love making she wanted and she began to cry harder for all that she'd lost.

"Lana you cry every time we make love, is there a reason?" Lex asked quietly, filling the puff ball and gently stroking it over her.

"I'm just so happy that I cry Lex." She smiled. She pretended to enjoy it when he ran the puff ball over her breasts and torso, along her legs, then turned her around and rubbed it smoothly along her back.

"I'm glad." He said softly. He kissed her gently on the forehead, before soaping himself up, letting the water wash over him and getting out. "I'll leave you to the hair washing, unless you need help?" He grinned.

"I think I can manage, thank you." She smiled back but the moment he was gone the smile slid from her face and she picked up the puff ball and scrubbed and scrubbed at her body trying to rid herself of his taint.

She quickly washed her hair and holding onto the wall for support, let new tears slide down her face at the realisation that this was now her life.

OoO

Chloe woke up, had a shower, went down to the kitchen and saw Martha at the stove. "Good morning."

"Good morning Chloe, did you sleep ok?"

"Yes; no; the hospital didn't ring huh?" Chloe asked quietly.

"No, I'm sorry sweetie; I was going to call in a little while."

"That's ok; I'll call them after breakfast. I know they're not going to tell me anything new, so I'm hoping if I hold off, they'll call and tell me Lo's awake." Chloe smiled tightly while tears filled her eyes.

"Oh sweetie, everything's going to be ok, Lois is strong." Martha replied, gathering Chloe into her arms and letting her cry her fear out.

Clark walked into the kitchen to find Chloe sobbing in his mom's arms. The look on his mom's face carried both concern and fear. He knew that the situation was wearing on all of them. Even though nothing had happened, just the fact that there was no news, neither good nor bad, not even knowing what caused it had frayed all of their nerves almost to breaking point.

"I'm sorry Mrs Kent, I want to be strong, I want to believe Lois is going to be alright but the longer this goes on, the harder it is to stay positive." Chloe blew her nose in the tissues Clark passed over and smiled in thanks.

"I know, but just remember Lois is strong and even though she hasn't woken up, the doctors haven't found that she's suffering at all, they're still saying she's just asleep. She will wake up dear; we just have to be patient, ok." At Chloe's smile Martha gave her one last hug "Let's all sit down and eat breakfast and then we can talk about what everyone's going to do today."

Clark smiled at Chloe and nodded. "Mom's right Chloe, Lois will wake up when she's ready, and more than likely it will be when we're least expecting it."

Chloe sniffled and nodded back. "Yeah thanks."

"Do you have any ideas for today Chlo?"

"No, I've run out of ideas, today I'm just going to the Medical Centre to sit with Lois for a while."

"Well I'll do stuff around the farm but call me when you want a break, or if you want me to do anything, ok Chlo?"

"I will, thanks Clark."

"I have the next couple of days free, so I'll just stay here, there's always something to do on a farm but I'd like to sit with Lois for a little while today as well. Why don't you come home for lunch and I'll go afterwards, giving you the morning with her." Martha asked Chloe.

"That'd be great Mrs Kent; you know Lois would hate all this fuss if she knew about it."

"We know and in a way I'm hoping that it will bug her enough, she'll wake up and tell me to get lost or get a life." Clark grinned, making the two ladies laugh.

When Lana called, Chloe told her she had no ideas on what to look for that day but would keep her informed and hung up, then picked up the receiver called the Medical Centre and finding there was no news, also called and left a message for Lois' dad with the army staff, then headed off to sit with Lois.

OoO

While doing to chores Clark's mind kept busy, silently rehearsing what he was going to say to Lana. Whatever he said Lana was going to come back with a reply in a number of ways so he needed to be prepared.

She loved him too, she didn't love him anymore, she didn't trust him because he didn't trust her, or she was scared to trust him again. He had to be ready for anything, he had to try and have an answer ready so that when she fired questions at him, he didn't look like he was trying to make up lies on the spot.

He knew that Lana still loved him, but whether she still trusted him, wanted him back or was willing to take him back was the question. At this point he had nothing to lose and everything to gain; he just had to make sure that whatever she said, whatever she asked he had the right answer.

OoO

Lex sat in his office and thought about his fiancé. He loved Lana he truly did but he wished that she had just a little spark of passion in her. He knew that she'd only had sex once with Clark before him, and Clark had been a virgin too, but the way she acted and reacted when they made love, was of someone who was surprised of what went where.

He'd tried being sensitive, either turning of the lights or putting them so low he could barely see her, he'd tried being romantic with music and champagne, he'd even tried playful and seductive, but nothing worked. He made all the moves, and she either copied him or lay like a passive doll unsure of what to do. And using a crude term, if he was the second guy to score with her, he wondered how the hell Clark had ever managed. The two of them must have done it under the covers, in the dark, a quick in out and thought they'd found paradise.

He loved her and could only hope that eventually she'd loosen up, because so far the only paradise he'd found had been with his hand. He pretended he enjoyed it, he kept hoping he'd enjoy it, but so far, nothing.

And the crying he didn't understand. Sex wasn't always supposed to be a deeply religious moving experience, it could be fun, romantic, touching, playful or just a quick release, but every time he and Lana had sex, she cried.

He was a man for god's sake, not her girlfriend; he didn't want to chat about how moved he was that she let him touch her. Sometimes he just wanted a fuck; sticky, sweaty, rolling around the bed, eyes popping out of his head, heart hammering, blowing a gasket, fuck. Sometimes he wondered if the sex would be worth it, knowing the tears would soon follow, and he'd have to comfort her all while his mind ticked over with the day's receipts.

She was young and because he loved her, he had to use all that sensitive, new age guy shit just to keep her happy.

He was patient with her needs, sensitive to her feelings, attentive to desires, romantic to get sex, gentle not to bruise her soul, and agreeable to keep her smiling. He was honest with her, well as honest as he really felt he could be, but he didn't think she needed or really wanted to know all the nitty, gritty details of his life. He thought he had trust issues, but she expected total honesty about everything.

He loved her, he wanted to make her happy but she seemed determined to question everything, to find reasons to pick, poke and prod. If she was upset or suspicious about something she kept digging at it, like touching a tongue to a sore tooth.

Some days all he wanted was to go home and work for a while, have a drink, a cigar, watch a ball game, or play a game of pool, but now that Lana was with him, he couldn't do that. Now he went home, sat down and talked to her about things. What she did, what he did, how the wedding details were going, how happy he was, how happy she was, how he trusted her, how she trusted him. FUCK!!!

He loved her but fuck! Just for one night, just _**one**_ it would be nice if he could go home, watch a game, drink a beer, scratch himself if he wanted, and not have to be sensitive to _her_ needs.

He knew that Clark was one of those namby-pamby, sensitive, caring, touchy-feely new age guys and shook his head in disgust, Clark was also a dickhead. No two ways about it, he was a first class dickhead and what was worse, he, Lex Luthor was now becoming on too. Apparently love really could change even the most cynical of people.

Well, at this point he could only hope that once the wedding was over, Lana would start being sensitive to _**his**_ needs; start to like sex and also stop questioning everything.

Picking up his pen he got back to work scratching out notes then suddenly stopped; the wedding, more than likely she was fussed and harassed about getting married. He could tell her it was no big deal, but had a feeling she wouldn't appreciate the reminder that this would be his third time at bat.

It was her first time getting married so it was a big deal to her, and Lois was in the hospital so she was worried about her friend, and her ex-boyfriend was chasing after her with an erection the size of Africa. It was no wonder she'd been more teary than usual, he'd take home some flowers and candy and let her know that he was there for her should she want to talk, suppressing a sigh at the thought of the long chatty night ahead.

OoO

Lana looked down at her engagement ring, twirled it around her finger and looked back up at the road again. She was on her way to the Kent farm, Chloe had told her there was nothing to do, but maybe she and Clark could think up something. She was lying to herself and knew it, she wanted to see Clark.

She hated that this happened to Lois, she hated seeing the worry and anxiety in Chloe's eyes but this was the first time in months that she had been in Clark's vicinity, that she had even wanted to be, and as selfish as it was she was going to use the opportunity to be around him.

Soon her life would be different, take a turn that she had never expected, Lex was a good man and he loved her, in time she was sure that she'd come to love him too, but for now she had to follow her heart and if that meant being selfish and using what was happening to Lois to spend time with Clark, then she was going to do it.

Seeing the Kent farm ahead she pulled over to the side of the road, let her head rest on the steering wheel and tried to think of what she could say to Clark as to why she was there. It made no difference really, he was going to know the real reason, but she had to try and save face, she was already living a lie, so one more lie on top of that wouldn't hurt.

She wanted him back but she didn't trust him, and without trust, love was worth nothing. She wouldn't take him back, but she wanted to be near him. Putting the car back in gear she drove down the driveway, pulled up outside the house and climbed out.

OoO

When he heard a call pull up Clark looked outside the barn door and seeing Lana his heart began to pound in his chest. She was here, at least he was spared having to make up an excuse to see her, but now he wondered why she was here.

Chloe had told her that she had no plans today, there was no reason for her to be here other than to see him, and he couldn't help but hope that he wouldn't have to say anything; maybe she would say it all.

Gathering his courage he walked outside to greet her.

"Hey Lana."

"Hi, um I know Chloe said she had no ideas on what we could do today but I was thinking the three of us could brainstorm together, maybe come up with something." She said hesitantly and shrugged.

"Chlo's at the hospital, she'll be back soon if you wanna to wait."

"Yeah, thanks."

"Come inside, mom's home, we can have a coffee and wait for Chloe." He offered sweeping his arm towards the house. Nodding, she followed him to the house and into the kitchen, greeting Mrs Kent and taking a seat at the kitchen island.

"Thanks." Lana smiled retrieving the mug from Clark and taking a sip of its contents. "So there's been no news huh?"

"No, nothing yet, Chloe would have called from the hospital if there'd been any change." Clark replied.

Nodding in agreement Lana smiled.

"Lana would you like to stay for lunch?" Martha turned and asked from her place beside the sink.

"I'd like that, Mrs Kent but are you sure I'm not putting you out?"

"No, I've made more than enough, and afterwards the three of you can talk about what you're going to do while I'm at the Medical Centre."

"Thank you." Lana nodded and smiled again.

There was silence in the kitchen until the phone rang, when Clark answered it was a call for his mom and retrieving the phone from her son, she left the two of them in the kitchen.

"So..."

"So, um Lana I'm glad you came by today, I know Chloe's appreciated all your help, she was crying this morning, so maybe when mom goes it will be nice for her to have another female here."

"I just wish we knew what was wrong, what caused it."

"Yeah." Taking a deep breath Clark looked directly into Lana's eyes. "I need to talk to you; can we go outside or to the loft?"

"Talk to me about what?"

"Please, I'll tell you outside."

Nodding her agreement they walked outside and when he gestured to the loft they made their way to the barn and up the stairs. Taking a seat on the couch Lana stayed quiet, she had a feeling she knew what was coming. She had wanted to spend time with Clark, and even though she hadn't acknowledged it to herself, she had also wanted him to try and talk to her about them but now that the moment was upon her, she felt nervous and scared.

She had to stay strong, she loved him, but she didn't trust him, she didn't trust his feelings for her and silently shored up her walls by remembering all the times he'd lied, and hurt her, when he'd broken up with her. He'd do it again, she knew he would and refused to put herself through it once more.

Clark silently stood at the window of his loft, closed his eyes and breathed. He could hear Lana's heart pounding. She knew he loved her but had still sought him out at the farm, she knew what he was going to say and had still consented to listen to him. She was fighting her heart, fighting him; he just had to get through her walls and hoped that this time he could.

Turning around he looked at her face, he didn't need to commit it to memory it was already there, but when he looked into her eyes he saw both wariness and a touch of hope.

"Lana I…I know that you're marrying Lex and I know that I can't stop you, but please just hear me out, if you say no afterwards, I won't approach you again, but just listen, ok?" At her nod, he took a deep breath and nodded in return.

"I love you Lana, I've loved you since I was 5 years old, I always will. I've never been happier than when we were together, when I broke up with you, I didn't only break your heart, I broke my own too." He swallowed and kept going. "I broke up with you because I was scared, I was scared that you'd get hurt. I didn't want that to happen, so I let you go."

"Clark, I'm here for Lois, to help Chloe. You and I are over; I don't think we should get into this again." Her voice sounded weak and strained, lowering her head; she closed her eyes and inwardly swore at herself.

"Don't Lana, don't lie. You knew that Chloe wasn't here, you knew that we had no plans today, you came here to be with me!" He stated with assurance.

"I….I came here to help Chloe." She replied staunchly, her head flew up, her eyes opened but her face told the truth that her mouth couldn't speak.

"You came here to be with me!" He corrected confidently. "You still love me Lana, I'm sorry for breaking your heart, but I swear I just wanted you to be safe."

"So you hurt me yourself. How could I have been hurt otherwise Clark; tell me that?"

"You know I'm always looking into stuff with Chlo, we get ourselves into tight spots sometimes and I was scared that if you were with me, that one day you'd get hurt as well. After that girl hypnotised me and made me act like I loved her, Chloe told me that she'd explained to you what happened, but I hated knowing that I'd hurt you so badly, I couldn't stand knowing that it could happen again, so I broke up with you instead."

Taking a deep breath, he once again told her all he felt "I've always known that we were meant to be together, there's no getting over you for me Lana, I'll always love you and no one else." He vowed sincerely. "When we were together it was…it was the culmination of all my dreams. The night we made love was the happiest night of my life, and I imagined spending the rest of my life going to sleep with you in my arms and waking up with you beside me." He smiled slightly. "Do you remember the night we spent together; I told you that I had only ever wanted to share that experience with you?" At her nod, he quietly affirmed "It was true, but not just for my first time, I don't want anyone but you Lana, I never have and never will."

He walked over, sat on the couch, picked up her hand and looked down at the engagement ring, then back into her eyes. "I always imagined it would be my ring on your finger."

She tugged her hand free and looked down at her lap but when she looked back up; her eyes were filled with tears. "But it's not, its Lex's. I'm marrying him Clark, you threw me over and now that I'm with Lex, you want me back, and that's the only reason. If Lex wasn't in the picture, you'd still be pushing me away." She said quietly with feeling.

"No" He shook his head in denial "It's not because of Lex, or it is but only because seeing you with him made me realise that I was an idiot to ever let you go. He's ruthless Lana; he'll hurt you and betray you. Lex isn't any good, he's a taker." Clark said earnestly.

"Lex hasn't taken anything from me that I don't want to give, he trusts me Clark, he tells me everything; all I got from you were lies."

He swallowed hard. "I know you think I don't trust you but I do."

"Then why do you keep secrets from me, don't bother telling me that you don't because I know you do. I know that you and Chloe keep secrets from me, if you loved me, if you trusted me, you would have told me the truth."

"Everyone has secrets, even you." He quietly pointed out.

"Maybe, but my secrets don't hurt anyone, yours hurt me, and if we got back together it would just start again. I'm not interested in going there again thank you." She flashed back with bitterness.

"I love you Lana."

"Are you going to tell me what you've been hiding from me, are you going to tell me the truth?"

"I love you."

"You didn't answer the question Clark, are you going to tell me the truth." She demanded.

He pressed his lips together, looked away and back into her eyes again "Marry me Lana, marry me instead of Lex; I love you and I know that you love me."

"So you don't intend to tell me anything, thanks Clark; that says it all. You don't know what love is, you don't know what trust is, so you can go to hell." She replied getting up and making her way to the stairs.

She had only taken a few steps when he was in front of her. "Please Lana, I love you, marry me; give me another chance."

"No! I don't want you Clark and I don't want your brand of love." She stepped around him and suddenly found herself locked in his arms with his mouth on hers. She tried to fight, to push him off, but being back in his arms felt so good that she relaxed and let herself be in the moment. They exchanged several closed mouth kisses and when she felt his tongue run along the seam of her mouth, opened hers to allow his tongue entrance.

When he finally lifted his head, she saw his eyes swirling with emotion and knowing that he would be able to see the same in hers, looked down and ran her tongue over her lips to catch the last taste of him, but at his words her head flew up.

"Now tell me you don't love me." He insisted quietly.

Her hand rose and cracked against his cheek. "Is that what that demonstration was about? Fine you want to hear it, then here's the truth, I loved the person that I thought you were but he wasn't real so, no, I don't love you." She replied with venom.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not, I could never love you Clark because you're a phoney and I've had enough of that. You said that if I said no, you'd leave me alone; well that's what I'm saying, NO! So I want you to leave me alone." She reiterated clearly and distinctly.

He nodded his head and let her step aside, turning around to watch her walk away. "If you ever change your mind, if you ever want me back, I'll be waiting Lana, always." He quietly said to her back, and saw her shoulders stiffen.

A third voice entering the barn was like a buck of ice water over both of them.

"Hey guys, are you in here?" Chloe called from below.

"Hi Chloe, how's Lois?" Lana asked descending the stairs.

"No change." She replied giving a slight smile. "Mrs Kent asked me to come and call you both in for lunch, Clark you hungry."

"Yeah, Chlo, I'll be down in a minute." Clark replied looking over the banister and lifting a hand in greeting.

"Ok, but hurry because I'm really hungry." She replied and walked out of the barn with Lana following. Before stepping outside, Lana looked up at Clark, their eyes held for a moment then she was gone.

OoO

Clark sat on the couch and closed his eyes, his heart felt numb; he didn't know if he could go back to the house and calmly eat lunch, all the while knowing that Lana was now lost to him for good.

He knew that it had been a long shot, but had kept hoping, believing that she'd take him back, want him back, still loved him. But the look in her eyes when she told him no, had carried not only hurt but staunch conviction.

He'd lost her, for some reason although she was with Lex, on the verge of marrying Lex, he really thought she wasn't lost to him, not really and knowing that she was; the pain of their break-up flooded him anew. He wanted her to be happy; he wanted them both to be happy but knew that neither of them would find happiness without each other.

Swiping his hands down his face, he stood up and headed down stairs, stopping long enough to throw water on his face from the hose before making his way to the house.

Lunch was awkward, there wasn't much to talk about, Clark and Lana both said little and it was left to Chloe and Martha to carry the conversation.

When Martha left the three sat and talked idly, but as there was little to say and Chloe had no new ideas of what to do, Lana excused herself and went home, Chloe went upstairs to take a nap and Clark retreated to his loft.

OoO

Pulling the car over to the side and getting out, Lana walked towards Crater Lake and wrapped her arms around herself. God she hated Clark and hated herself even more, because she still loved him. She wasn't surprised that he wanted her back, that he asked her to take him back, but she thought that if he did, if he was serious about the two of them, that he would at least tell her the truth. That he'd open up and share what he was hiding, but he didn't and the pain of knowing that he didn't trust her, no matter how much he said he loved her made the ache in her heart flare up.

Pressing a hand against her stomach, she closed her eyes. She felt sick, she knew that if he had told her, had finally unlocked that door that held the seal, 'Keep Lana Out' she would have taken him back.

He had never trusted her, which meant that his love was false, she knew he was meteor infected; she'd seen it the night he kidnapped her, but just the fact that he wouldn't even open up and tell her hurt unbearably. She wasn't going to tell him that she knew, it was up to him to tell her, but that clearly wasn't something he was prepared to do.

Sitting down on the sand she hugged her knees to her chest. She loved him and she knew he loved her, but…their relationship had always been filled with buts.

He loved her but his love was false, she loved him but couldn't trust him, he'd never given her reason too. Clark's love could only be trusted when she was with someone else, then he pulled out all the stops to get her attention. But when she was with him it was another story altogether. Then it was Chloe he turned to, Chloe he shared and talked with. She was just a pretty doll for him to kiss and touch, then patted on the head and put away until he wanted her again.

Rubbing her hands over her cheeks, her eyes hardened and nodding her head she renewed the vow she'd told him in the loft, Clark Kent could go straight to hell, because Lana Lang was done with him once and for all.

OoO

Chloe lay on the bed and looked up at the ceiling allowing the tears to trickle down the sides of her face. There was no change in Lois and she was scared, when Uncle Sam called while she was at the hospital, hearing his voice and the almost desperate edge to it, hoping that she'd tell him his little girl was alright had been hard. Hearing the deep intake of breath on the other end of the phone when she had to tell him that nothing had changed had been hard.

Uncle Sam was usually so strong and formidable and hearing the break in his voice had the tears clogging her throat, she'd promised to keep him in touch with any news, and after he thanked her she'd hung up and called her dad.

God she missed him, her dad was a solid and wonderful man, he'd heard the shakiness in her voice, and told her that he was coming and to hell with his job, she'd had to spend 10 minutes talking him out of it. Her dad and Uncle Sam knew how close she and Lois were, and both had known that because they weren't there, she had to shoulder the brunt of the responsibility. All three of them were grateful that Martha Kent was on hand for both her and Lois.

Thank god for Mrs Kent, without her Chloe didn't know what she'd do. Mrs Kent had given her a place to stay so she wouldn't be by herself, she'd given her comfort and advice and most of all; she'd given her an adult that she could turn to.

Clark and Lana pissed her off. She loved them both and wanted them to be happy, but wished that just once they could put aside their own problems, their own needs and concentrate on something other than themselves.

She knew what she'd find when she entered the barn; when Mrs Kent asked her to call them in for lunch she didn't waste her time looking for them, but went straight to the barn and found exactly what she expected; both of them almost in tears, their relationship once again front and centre of their minds.

She was grateful for their help but…

She'd loved Clark for a long time and had always hoped he'd get over his Lana fixation and turn to her, but that clearly wasn't in the cards. She was doubly grateful for Jimmy; she cared about him and was thankful that he was in her life. She not only enjoyed his company, but he was crazy about her and after the bruising her ego had taken at Clark's repeated rebuffs, it was nice to be with a guy who didn't turn to her, just because Lana was giving him the cold shoulder. Jimmy was totally unaware of Lana's appeal and that just made him even more special.

She didn't understand Clark's fascination with Lana, there was no doubt that Lana was pretty, a person would have to blind not to see it, but she wasn't exactly Miss Teen USA either.

Clark and Lana had little if anything in common, when he needed to talk, or needed a friend it wasn't Lana he turned to, he turned to her for friendship, advice and help, he'd even turned to Lois on occasion and seemed to enjoy Lois' company more than Lana's; no matter how much eye rolling he did. Lana made him hot under the collar, but physical attraction wouldn't last; then again the heart couldn't be explained. Whatever it was that Lana had, Clark didn't seem to be able to do without it, and she was just as susceptible to Clark as he was to Lana.

She had kept hoping that Clark would notice her, but knew deep down that he wouldn't. However, her heart wouldn't let her give up even the tiniest sliver of hope. In a way she envied Lois her indifference to Clark's charms. Lois had never seen Clark as anything other than a pain, an annoyance and now a friend. Lois wouldn't fall for someone like Clark and Chloe was glad, because if she had, her cousin would know what it felt like to want something that was forever out of her reach, and she didn't want that for Lois. She wanted her to be happy.

Smiling Chloe swiped her hand across her eyes, earlier she'd been almost in despair thinking about Lois but if she could think of Lois being happy, then she knew, she just knew deep in her bones that her cousin was going to be ok.

Turning over she closed her eyes and fell asleep with a smile on her face.

OoO

Clark sat in the loft and looked down at a picture of Lana, she was gone; he'd tried and lost. Lana Lang was forever gone from his life and the despair he felt at the knowledge cut like a knife.

All he'd ever wanted was gone, breaking up with her had been the biggest screw up he'd made and one he'd regret for the rest of his life. This time he couldn't blame Jor-El, he couldn't even blame Lex. Yes Lex had swooped her up, yes Lex had manipulated her, yes Lex was using her but Lex wasn't the one that told him to break up with her, he'd made that decision all by himself. Chloe had tried to tell him to make sure he was doing the right thing, but with his usual arrogance he hadn't listened.

When he first met Lex he envied the way Lex could buy anything he wanted, he never realised he could be materialistic, but as his dad reminded him the first time after he was on RedK and bought a lot of junk, he did want stuff, but now the only thing Lex had that he wanted was Lana.

He'd told her that if she said no he'd leave her alone and would keep to that, if she ever changed her mind he'd take her back in a heartbeat, but she would have to come to him. Not because he didn't want to go to her, but because he'd hurt her too much already and it was time he finally did as his mom suggested and left her alone.

Tears began to trickle down his cheeks at the thought that he'd forever be alone, he'd never fall in love; never make love with anyone else because unless the girl was Lana Lang, he wouldn't be interested.

Lying down on the couch he put her photo on the coffee table and looked at her smiling face, she was gone and now the rest of his lonely life would start.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

_Day Four – 2015_

Lana sat up in bed feeling happy and rested, although she'd gotten very little sleep the night before, she felt amazingly good. Hugging herself tight, she smiled almost letting out a shout of pure happiness. She hadn't felt this carefree in years, Clark loved her, he was still hiding from it, still refusing to acknowledge it but he did.

She lay back down, rolled to her side and smoothed her hand over the sheets, imaging it was Clark's body her hand was caressing. Soon, soon they'd be back together and closing her eyes she imagined them making love.

Getting up, she had a quick shower and breakfast, dug out her spell book, pad and pen and sat at the kitchen table making notes. She needed supplies, after coming home the previous night she had tried to think of what she could do to make Clark admit to his buried feelings and now knew just what it was. It would take magic, but only a little, just a little and soon he'd be in her arms, kissing her and thanking her for loving him enough that she'd never given up on him.

She couldn't give up on him, she needed him, he was essential to her. 8 years ago she'd turned her back on him and heartily wished that she hadn't. She still wanted a back-up plan and fixing their past was still her preferred option, but she'd yet to figure out how to do it. She could send Lois back, that would take no effort but it didn't fix their past, and knowing how close she was, knowing that she could get him back now, she was going to take what she could get and be happy with it, with him.

She stopped reading and closed her eyes. He had begged her to take him back, she had never forgotten that moment, but because of her stupidity, because she'd walked away and utterly ruined both their lives by marrying Lex, she had resolutely shut that memory out of her mind. But now her mind raced, recalling every word of their conversation, the desperation on his face and in his voice, listening to him telling her how much he loved her, and vowing to wait should she ever change her mind.

How she had walked away from him that day she still didn't know. She'd wanted him back, she'd wanted him to ask her to take him back and he had, but as usual she had to question everything and when he wouldn't open up and talk, she'd taken her bruised feelings and run away, thereby cementing their future.

Pressing her lips together, her tongue swiped over her lips, hoping to find a faint trace of what he tasted like, of feeling his lips and tongue against hers but that moment was gone.

Both times when she'd hinted they could get back together he'd rebuffed her, and after the way she'd walked out on him, the way she'd told him he was a phoney and didn't love him, he'd needed more than hints. He had needed a clear message that she wanted him back and that was something she hadn't given to him.

Clark had said he wouldn't approach her again and he never had. He was too honourable to break his word, it had been up to her to go to him but she'd stupidly messed up and in the meantime Lois had snatched him up. Lois wouldn't have wasted time hinting, Lois was confident, bold and brazen, she would have let Clark know that she wanted him and he'd taken what was offered.

Oh, she knew that Clark had been infatuated with Lois, and initially Lois had been both oblivious and uninterested in him, but obviously at some point Lois had changed her mind and decided to claim Clark while she could.

Well it was time to let Clark know how she felt, no holds barred, no flirting, no hinting, just flat out tell him.

She'd need magic and hated the necessity of it, but she needed an edge and magic would give it to her. Unfortunately just as she had built up walls against him 8 years ago, he now had them against her. She needed to get past them, and it was only with magic that she'd be able to do it, but once those walls were broken down, he'd come to her and by the time Joanne returned she'd find herself a fiancé short.

Opening her eyes again, she picked up her pen and began to scratch out notes, making a list of the supplies she'd need.

OoO

Lois lay in bed staring at the ceiling. Her talk with Clark the previous night had been nice, they were getting along better now, he didn't seem as intent on making her listen to his declarations of love for which she was grateful.

He still spoke about the two of them, but last night it hadn't made her uncomfortable, she didn't think it was because he didn't seem so earnest, but because he seemed more relaxed.

And he'd listened when she'd spoken about Oliver, she really didn't know why she'd opened up the way she had, maybe because he didn't look at her with hurt or because he seemed genuinely concerned, but either way it felt good to talk to someone.

It was nice talking to both Chloe and Clark. In the past Skipper was too Lana engrossed to give a crap; not that she'd talk to him about it but still, and Chloe had become almost stiff and formal with her, so it was nice being able to talk with them even about mundane things.

She liked Clark and was sad to admit she liked him more than she liked Skipper, but she couldn't lie, she hadn't suddenly seen Clark as the love of her life, she hadn't looked at him and thought, wow, yeah, I've always wanted him. She still didn't want to marry him, she could imagine them talking and laughing and enjoying each other's company and if that was all there was to marriage, it wouldn't be so bad, but the thought of doing 'it' with him was not something she wanted to explore.

They had seen each other naked, but neither time had it been in a romantic setting and neither time had they felt like jumping each other. The thought of Clark looking at her naked body with desire, of looking at him in the same way, of touching him, having him touch her, freaked her out more than a little.

This was her fourth day here, she was supposed to go back tomorrow, and she hadn't even started trying to find a way to change things. But just because she didn't want him now, didn't mean that her feelings wouldn't change. Ok, she couldn't imagine that they'd ever change, but they must have, maybe, perhaps, god she just didn't see how.

He was a nice guy, he wasn't Lana obsessed anymore, at least he didn't seem to be, she hoped that he wasn't just a consummate actor and was conning her, but Joanne was her and Joanne would have known if he was lying. Then again, he'd covered up being an alien to her and she'd never known, she was no one's fool but she'd never had a clue. True she hadn't cared enough to give it much thought, Skipper didn't come across as an overly deep person, he only seemed to have one goal, one thought rattling in his head, which was to make Lana his, and she meant what she'd said about his secrets being his own business.

Ok, Joanne was her, well technically she'd be Joanne in a few years, but if she'd gone out with the guy to the point of becoming engaged to him, then it couldn't be all bad. If Joanne was here she'd probably be arguing with her. The thought made her chuckle and she quickly pressed a hand against her mouth to stifle the laughter that wanted to pour out, at the image of herself throwing down with Joanne.

Thinking of that she sobered and realised that if Joanne would fight with her about Clark, then maybe he was worth fighting for and she decided then and there not to meddle in their lives. Hopefully she'd go back tomorrow and before she knew it, the next 8 years would pass, and she'd be back here again and would then finally understand Joanne's relationship with Clark.

OoO

Clark sat up in bed thinking about the conversations he'd shared with Lois the day before.

They were getting along better now, she didn't seem as resistant to him; and as far as he was aware she hadn't even kept good on her promise to find a way to retain her memories. Lois was usually a woman of her word; if she said she was going to do something she did it, come hell or high water.

Ok, so yesterday she'd had a lot to think about, Joanne dying no doubt being uppermost in her mind, Oliver's call an added bonus she didn't really need, so she might have just gotten off track and intended to get back on, but he didn't think so.

He still had an edge but to keep it he had to remember that at the moment, Lois both was and wasn't Joanne. Her core characteristics hadn't changed, they were embedded in her and those were the ones he knew intimately; but Lois didn't have the last 8 years of Joanne's life experiences, so in one respect she was the same person but in another there was a huge gap in her make-up.

The one characteristic that was of the most importance to his future with Joanne, was that at the moment, Lois' taste in men was that of her 20 year old self. He hadn't interested her romantically then and he wouldn't now.

He'd had to make Joanne notice him and they'd been dating for nearly a year before she'd fallen in love with him, so Lois' heart and mind wouldn't have changed in three days. But yesterday she'd smiled when she said that ending up with him wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, ok, so it wasn't a ringing endorsement, but it was still a hell of a lot better than when she first found out they were engaged and accused them of having lobotomy's; he thought with a touch of humour.

Turning his head he looked through the walls and smiled when Lois' eyes opened, she appeared deep in thought, the little furrow in her brow wrinkling, he wondered if it was about Oliver, himself, Joanne, or their relationship, and when he saw the hand quickly pressed against her mouth to stifle laughter, he grinned.

He wished she was Joanne and he was with her, holding her, listening to her talking and telling him what she found so funny. He wished they were waking up together, that he had the freedom to touch her, to kiss her, and looking down at his lap, nodded his head, he wished a lot of things.

Ripping his eyes away from the sight of Lois in bed, he flew to the arctic, had a couple of quick dips and was back within 10 minutes, his body once more in his control. He quickly fed the animals, had a shower and joined his mom and Chloe for breakfast, "Good Morning."

"Good morning honey."

Chloe raised her cup and nodded, quickly swallowing her bite of toast, "Morning, how are you doing today?"

"I'm good Chlo, Lois said yesterday that maybe we don't need to do anything and I'm beginning to think she might be right, thanks mom." He said accepting the heaped plate.

"Can I ask why?" Martha asked, taking a seat at the table.

"I was thinking about it last night, the Justice League haven't found anything, and Ollie said that none of them got the impression that anyone was trying to hide anything from them, and they all have good instincts. Also you both said if someone's doing this to get at Superman they'd want him to know, ok, it's only been 36 hours but surely they wouldn't have waited this long to get him in control." At their nods he continued. "So I just have to wonder if what you said was right Chlo, that either whoever's doing this has no idea of what's happening, or it was just a fluke and Lois was caught up in it, plus we all know it never happened again." Clark finished looking at the women and hoping they'd agree with his assessment.

Both sat silent for a few moments churning what he'd said over in their minds, then finally nodded and smiled. "I think you're right, but don't lower you're guard ok, if it wasn't a fluke, they just might be waiting for Superman to relax before trying to hurt Lois again." Chloe put forward.

"I know Chlo, I'll never forget what happened, but mom's right, I can't let fear rule my life; otherwise I'll be even more protective of Lois, which will eventually just drive her away. I'm not going to accept that Joanne dying is the trigger to sending Lois back, thoughts like that would send me mad but if anyone takes her from me, I won't stop until I find them." He said with conviction.

"Good morning." Lois greeted, smiling at the calls of greeting and helping herself to coffee and breakfast.

"You seem chipper today Lo." Chloe smiled.

"I am, this time tomorrow I'll be back where I belong." Lois smiled in return then frowned at the look on Chloe's face. "What's up?"

"Lo, you didn't wake up in the morning, you woke up early evening."

"Oh." Lois replied deflating a little. "Well it's still only one more day if you don't count today, which I'm not going to do."

"Do you hate it here that much Lo?" Clark asked softly.

"No I don't hate it at all." Lois refuted shaking her head. "In fact and please don't take this the wrong way, but I like you better here than there, you too Chlo. You seem more the Chloe I used to know, and less the stranger that I've been dealing with the past few months." She said apologetically, relieved when both of them nodded "It's just…well, everything's different here to what I'm used to y'know." She shrugged and was gratified to see all three nodding their heads in understanding.

Chloe grasped Lois' hand "I explained yesterday why I acted the way I did, and I promise that when you go back, you'll find the Chloe you used know has returned. This episode scared her Lo; she really thought she was going to lose you."

"I'm glad, not that you were scared but that the old Chloe came back, you were always my favourite person Chlo." Lois squeezed Chloe's hand in return.

Martha and Clark smiled at each other.

"Are we still going to Metropolis today?" Clark ventured.

"We can if you want, but if Joanne's back tomorrow the two of you can shop yourselves, wouldn't you enjoy it more with her?"

"You're good company, besides you are Joanne and I don't think your taste in decorations and things would have changed, but if you don't want to go, it's ok." He smiled half heartedly.

"No we'll go, has it changed much in 8 years?"

"Some, it's mostly the same, but Metropolis is a big city and developments going on all the time." Chloe put in. "But you'll still know your way around Lo, so don't worry."

Nodding her head Lois smiled and forked up some scrambled egg.

"Good morning everyone." Lana called knocking on the door and entering the kitchen. Taking a seat beside Clark, she smiled and thanked Martha for the mug of coffee passed to her but shook her head when offered breakfast.

"You seem to be in a good mood too, this is obviously catching." Chloe laughed.

"What'd you mean?" Lana asked in confusion.

"Well both Lois and Clark came to breakfast in a good mood and now you've arrived in a good mood, it's nice." Chloe said. "So what's your good mood for?"

"I don't know, I just have a good feeling, you know when you get days like that?" When everyone nodded in the affirmative, Lana smiled again. "So what's on the agenda for today?"

"Metropolis for Lois and me, and cooking for Chloe and mom; so it's up to you which you pick." Clark replied casually.

"Oh, well in that case…"

"You should come with us Lana." Lois' voice cut in before she could give her preference.

Seeing the nod from Clark, Lana accepted Lois' invitation to join them on their shopping expedition.

Excusing herself after breakfast Lois retreated back upstairs to have a shower.

"I told you she'd want you to come with us Lana." Clark said with a disappointed smile.

"Then why do you look like someone kicked your puppy, honey?" Martha asked patting his hand.

"I don't know, I guess I was just hoping that after last night Lois would realise the two of us being together wouldn't be so bad. I thought we were getting somewhere but maybe not, maybe I'm just wishing for the moon." He shrugged.

"What happened last night?"

"Yesterday in the barn Lo and I talked about me and Joanne, we were getting along better than we have since she first came here; Lana you saw us when you came to call us in for lunch so you know what I mean." When she nodded he resumed. "Well last night I had a late Superman call and came back to find Lois on the porch. We talked, really talked and it was great. I know that she has to grow up to become the woman Joanne is, but both times I felt the connection we share and was hoping that she did too." He said sadly.

"Maybe she does Clark, but it's still only been three days for her, maybe she's just not ready to acknowledge it yet." Chloe said softly.

He nodded but his eyes still held a touch of sadness.

"Clark, if Skipper was here…"

"I'm sorry; Lana but who's Skipper?" Martha cut in.

"Sorry mom, I forgot to tell you, Lois calls younger Clark, the one back there Skipper." Clark replied, when he explained the reason why, Martha began to cough into her napkin then threw her head back in laughter.

"Oh god sweetie, I just love Lois, I really do." Martha exclaimed wiping her eyes.

"Because she gave me another nickname?" He asked politely with a laugh in his voice.

"No, because she's so much fun; I knew that she called Shelby, Clarky, but you didn't tell your dad and I, that she suggested you be called Skipper to save confusion between you and the _dog_. That just tickles my funny bone." Martha explained through tears of mirth.

"Thanks mom, and now you know why I didn't say anything." Clark grinned. "Dad would have enjoyed it way too much I think."

"Oh your father would have, he took to Lois almost immediately; we both did. She became so much a part of our lives so quickly, she was always meant to be with us, be part of our family and I'm so glad you both realised it." Martha said getting up and hugging him from behind.

"So am I." He replied, pressing a kiss against her cheek.

"I'm sorry for interrupting Lana, what were you saying?" Martha asked retaking her seat.

"I was just going to say that Clark shouldn't be disappointed, if Skipper was here, I think he would have been even more against the two of them than Lois is. Three days wouldn't have been enough time to change his mind either." Lana said quietly, her tone conveying remorse for bringing the conversation back to a serious footing.

"He wouldn't have been even more against it; his feelings would have been on par with hers." Clark pointed out. "I know you and Chloe are both right, well logically I know it, but my heart expected more I guess."

All three ladies gave him a sympathetic smile, and deciding it was time to do something more productive all pitched in to clean up after breakfast.

"Well if we're going to Metropolis then I have to go home first, I wrote a list for shopping and don't want to forget anything, and I'd like to get my other purse as well, so I'll be back soon." Lana said moving towards the back door.

"Ok, see you soon." Clark replied lifting his hand in a wave.

OoO

"Well I'm ready, where's Lana?" Lois asked casually re-entering the kitchen an hour later.

"She had to go home but she'll be back shortly." Clark replied.

"Oh, ok, Mrs Kent, Chloe did either of you want anything?"

At the negative replies from both ladies Lois nodded. "I'm just going outside, I'll be back in a few minutes." She said and walked out the door.

Clark took a quick peek and found her digging into her purse and pulling out the cigarettes, either she had quickly become addicted again, or this situation was wearing on her nerves.

He went outside, walked to the fence and stood next to her. "Lois are you alright?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Because you seem to be smoking a lot since you've been here."

"I thought you didn't care whether I smoked or not." She said taking a deep drag and holding it for a moment before exhaling.

"I never said I didn't care, I said that I wasn't going to walk away because you smoked." He returned quietly.

He saw Lana's car pull up and gestured her into the house with his head, requesting she give them some privacy and was relieved when she took his cue.

"Yeah well it's addictive, and don't tell me it's easy to give up because you wouldn't know, and I don't want to hear how I shouldn't have taken it up in the first place because I already know that too." Lois snapped.

"I wasn't going to say that, I just wanted to know if you were alright." He replied patiently.

"Sorry for biting your head off." She gave a rueful smile and shrugged. "I know it was stupid to start up again. I told you that when I quit I got addicted to the gum, well I was even more addicted to the cigarettes. I hope that Joanne doesn't become a chain smoker because of me and I'll apologise in advance if she does."

"She won't."

"How do you know?"

"Because she's still trying to hide it." At Lois' grin, he smiled in return and nodded solemnly. "I'm not kidding; I've seen her smoking behind the dumpsters in the alley, looking around like a fugitive hiding from the law."

They both began to snigger. "You know what she's doing right?" At his bemused look her smile got wider. "She's trying to shame herself in to giving up by acting like a naughty school girl hiding from the principal." Leaning forward she confided. "And she should know that it's not going to work because I tried it last time."

At Clark's incredulous look, Lois crossed her heart. "I swear, see when I first started smoking I used to sneak outside and go behind the shed or stick my head out the window, you know all the basic dumb things kids do so their parents won't catch them smoking." She grinned and pressed on. "Anyway when I wanted to quit I figured I should keep doing that because if I was still hiding it, then I knew I shouldn't be smoking anyway. My thinking was kind of convoluted." She finished with a shrug.

"I was wondering why she was acting like a character out of 'Get Smart' and because I pretend not to know that she smokes, I couldn't ask her." Clark laughed. "She's a pretty self assured woman so I wondered why she just didn't come out and say that she smoked."

"She won't tell because smoking is a weakness and she hates herself for giving into it, so she's hoping that by making herself feel ridiculous that she'll just stop." Lois scowled looking down at the stick in her hand before lifting it to her mouth for another drag.

Clark shook his head at his fiancés absurdities and added it as just another reason why he loved her; she could make something as serious as wanting to give up smoking funny. The way she skulked around when she wanted a cigarette had at times made him wonder why she just didn't tell him that she smoked, they both knew she did, but now he knew why she never just came out and said anything.

"Why did you switch to the gum?" He asked curiously.

"One night when daddy wasn't home I climbed into a tree and got stuck coming back down. I was in my pyjamas and got caught in the brambles; the neighbours heard my calls for help and had to get me down. I felt like a complete moron and decided that going for the gum was the preferred option." She smiled and stubbed out the cigarette.

"So I should be prepared to find her stuck in a tree then?" He asked amused.

"Yeah unfortunately Clark, don't be surprised if that happens." Lois rubbed the side of her face and smiled. "I did try to get myself down before calling for help so I unbuttoned my top and flung it away thinking that the branches were caught in it, and they were but they were also caught in my hair. Unfortunately even though I tugged and tugged at the top so I could put it back on, it was stuck as badly as I was and in the end I had to let dignity go and yell for help, or risk pulling my hair out by the roots."

She grinned and began to chortle at the memory. "The neighbours were gay and totally not interested in girls but hell it was embarrassing. My boobs were swinging in Nick's face like a pendulum; he was trying to hold onto me, but didn't know where to put his hands or his face, while his boyfriend Simon untangled my hair." Lois snorted and began to chuckle, Clark tried to keep a straight face but soon gave in and they both ending up leaning against the fence while tears of mirth cascaded down their cheeks.

Clark hoped that did happen again because he could certainly imagine having a whole lot of fun with Joanne before setting her loose.

OoO

Walking into the kitchen it was to find a scene of domestic bliss, the ladies were all busy with one thing or another and smiled at their arrival.

"Are you ready Lana?" At her nod and smile Clark turned to Lois. "How about I drop Lana off, and I'll come back for you in 15 minutes Lo."

"I thought you were fast."

"I am fast, but when I'm carrying someone I tend to take my time so they're not hurt."

"Ok, well I don't want to be hurt so just take your time, no hurry really."

"15 minutes is enough time Lo, you'll be ok, I promise."

Lana and Clark walked outside and Lois chatted to Mrs Kent and Chloe while waiting for Clark to come back, feeling like a passenger waiting for the next taxi in the rank.

OoO

Flying Lana to Metropolis, Clark tried to think of how he could remind her off her suggestion of splitting up without being rude and in the end decided to take a leaf out of Lois' book and just speak his mind. "I was thinking maybe we should meet outside Starbucks on 3rd, have a coffee and then go our separate ways, what'd you think."

"Good idea, I'll go there, get our coffees so there's no waiting when you get back with Lois, and when you get here I'll just tell Lois that I have a few things to do, and will meet up with you both later." Lana replied promptly and he nodded in thanks.

The rest of the journey was made in silence and when they got to Metropolis he landed outside a department store and set Lana down gently on her feet.

"There you go Miss I hope you're going to be alright now." He said loudly enough for any listening ears.

"Thanks Superman, I appreciate your help." She smiled and he nodded, giving a small smile in return at the twinkle in her eyes and flew off.

OoO

Feeling Clarks arms around her had been wonderful, she loved it when she was flying with him, she loved being in his arms, the truth was she just loved everything about him.

She was grateful that he'd given her the opening to go their separate ways, she had some special shopping to do and didn't want anyone around for when she did it.

Walking inside Starbucks Lana ordered three lattés, took a seat at a table, and waited for Clark and Lois to arrive which they did shortly afterwards.

OoO

"How are you doing Lo?" Clark asked when they had been flying for several minutes.

"I'm good, this is weird and amazing but I'm good."

"Where are we going first?"

"We could check out Bloomingdales and JC Penny, they're both big, and more than likely we'll find what we want in one or both of them."

"Fair enough, um Lois, mom told me that she suggested I take you to our apartment, she said you didn't want to and I don't want to push, but I can take you there if you want."

"I don't see how looking over an apartment is going to help any."

"Is that really why or is there another reason?"

"That's partly why."

"Well how about we decide now to go back to the apartment for lunch and if you change your mind later, just let me know. I won't insist on it and I won't be hurt." He said with a smile.

"Ok" She agreed after a slight hesitation.

OoO

Several hours later, loaded down with carry bags Lois called a halt. "Ok, I've gotta have a break, can we have some lunch before we get going again?" She asked hopefully.

"Yeah, that's actually not a bad idea." Clark agreed whole heartedly. He was pleased Lois had gotten into the spirit of things and the two of them had spent a few fruitful hours buying what was needed.

"Good, because breakfast was ages ago and I'm starving." She said with a smile.

"Ok, so did you want to go to the apartment or somewhere else?" Clark asked leaving it up to her to decide.

"We'll go to the apartment, do you have any food there or do we need to go buy something?"

"We have some stuff, but I'll go and buy something to save time, I'll drop you off, pick it up and bring it back, ok?"

"Should we call Lana to meet us there?"

"No, she said she wanted to take her time looking around and would call when she was finished, remember."

Lois nodded and gestured with one bag laden hand. "Yeah; ok, well lead the way."

OoO

Both were silent on the taxi ride to the apartment, Lois was both looking forward to seeing the place where she lived and dreading it. Clark felt the same; he wanted Lois to see where they lived, to see their apartment. You could tell a lot about a person from their surroundings and he hoped that she'd come to see that he and Joanne were happy together.

When he opened the door she hesitated before walking inside "Do you feel like anything in particular?"

"No, anything's fine, thanks."

"Ok, back soon."

Once he left, she placed the carry bags and her purse on the couch and looked around. Their apartment was beautiful, neither too feminine nor masculine.

The lounge room had one large picture window covered with dark wood mini blinds, a double paned door with sheer curtains covering it, a bookcase in teak, hard wood floors with a large Chinese style rug in burgundy with accents of browns and dark blues. Sitting on it was a brown three seat comfortable couch with a number of brown, camel and burgundy cushions residing on it. Two big lounge chairs sat opposite and in the middle was a coffee table with a bowl of brightly coloured, lightly scented balls and various nick nacks.

A couple of nice lamps and several coloured vases which would normally hold flowers were scattered around the room.

A lovely oil painting was on the far wall with a TV entertainment centre sitting directly underneath. The room had clearly been decorated around the painting and it was stunning.

The kitchen and bathroom were in bright, bold colours. This was an apartment for a couple, it had been decorated to reflect both their tastes but didn't have a designer feel to it, it was relaxing and homey and definitely wasn't a place they just used to sleep before facing another day at work. She could easily see that their home was a place they could find peace from their hectic everyday lives.

When she walked into the bedroom she stopped dead on the threshold. She didn't know if the colours had been chosen with winter in mind to reflect warmth and security but if they were, it was clear that just by changing the bed covers, curtains and cushions etc that their room could easily be changed to reflect the lighter, summer weather and to bring out the tone of that season.

She backed out of the room and practically ran back into the lounge, seeing the bedroom made her uncomfortable. The room was clearly a sanctuary, a private haven of peace and sensuality for the two of them. The décor and furnishings reflected sensual comfort and luxury; the surroundings were voluptuous.

She sat on the couch, shoved her hands between her knees and looked around the lounge room again. That was when she saw them, photographs. She didn't know how she'd missed them the first time around, they were scattered around the room.

Looking them over she smiled at the group shots, and hesitated before allowing her eyes to fall on the ones of Joanne and Clark. There were a couple of posed pictures but most looked like candid shots, taken when the two of them had been unaware of anyone but each other. They looked happy, they looked like a couple, they looked in love without being sappy and sentimental.

She wished she'd never agreed to come here, to see this place. She should have stuck to her guns, but he'd been so casual in the invitation, he hadn't pressured her, he hadn't tried to make her feel guilty, so she'd come. This is why both Mrs Kent and Clark wanted her to see the apartment; they wanted her to understand.

Neither of them knew she had changed her mind about trying to change their past, but she still didn't feel comfortable getting an up close and personal view of herself and Clark romantically. She couldn't fault him for fighting for the happiness that he didn't want to lose; a happiness their home, the photos and their bedroom conveyed.

OoO

Clark took his time getting lunch; he wanted to give Lois the opportunity to inspect their apartment at her leisure. He knew she wouldn't see a place that was just used to bunk down and hang their hats, nor was it was a place that roommates shared, it was an apartment for a couple and it showed. The lounge, kitchen and spare bedroom were just rooms that had been nicely decorated to reflect both their styles. They were restful and cozy, homey.

The bedroom and en-suite were a different matter entirely; both had been finished recently as an engagement present to themselves and were the only two rooms they had decorated together.

Their bedroom was their own private sanctuary away from the world, no one else welcome. It was an oasis from the stress of their lives and it's hectic pace, where they could just be themselves, not Superman, not reporters, just two people who loved each other, whose relationship was more than a little passionate and their bedroom showed it.

His mom and Chloe knew they were redecorating and had asked to see the finished product. The first time they did, he'd been a little uncomfortable. He had blushed, his mom blushed then hugged him tight, and Chloe had professed that she wanted to find someone to share such a bedroom with. Surprisingly Lois had been the only one who hadn't been even a little embarrassed.

The walls were painted a honey gold colour with clotted cream accented trim giving the room a rich and provocative feel.

The bed was queen size and was the focus of the room, it felt like heaven when they climbed into it. It was cozy with rich sheets in bold dark burgundy, a cream jacquard duvet with burgundy touches and trim, and a number of pillows in cream and burgundy.

They had designed their room to be romantic and intimate. It was a room that just called out to be used, making a person want to spend all day in bed.

There was a large mirror fixed to one wall, strategically placed so part of the bed could be seen and on another wall a beautiful landscape that he'd found in Italy. A little table with two plush seats were placed opposite each other, and were large enough to be comfortable without dominating the room, but had also come in handy a time or two for purposes other than sitting.

A stereo system was cleverly hidden in a Chinese cabinet in one corner of the room, alongside a little fridge. A couple of lamps with soft lighting were on each bedside drawer as well as a couple of well shaded lamps placed strategically around the room, that at night caused a golden light to just reach the bed if they wanted to create an even more intimate setting.

The high wide balcony door was covered with long sheer curtains for basic privacy, but was layered with drapes that could be pulled down to create a more romantic setting at night.

Perfume lightly scented the air, a few bright green plants and a throw on one of the chairs continued the colour scheme throughout the room.

The art, mirror and bedroom accessories were placed to create a sensual setting in the bedroom. There was no clutter at all, so their bedroom although nicely filled with furniture and knick knacks was free from anything that could spoil the mood.

And if Lois lay on the bed as she had done at Lana's, she would notice that the bed linen smelt lightly of some romantic designer fragrance that she loved, making the bed both alluring and inviting.

He hoped that her intense curiosity would have her investigating the bedroom, he wanted that. He wanted her to see what she was intending to throw away. He wasn't trying to be manipulative; he just didn't want to lose what he'd already fought so hard for and if he had to fight Lois to retain it, he would.

If she could get past the bedroom and went into the en-suite, she would see the extra large shower, the rich golden colours on the walls and in the accessories; would also let her know that the room was quite often used for more than just getting clean.

He knew that seeing both rooms for the first time would be surprise. They weren't lewd or improper but neither were they sweet and innocent. Both were romantic and a little bit earthy with a touch of erotic thrown in, and clearly showed the couple who lived there not only loved each other but had a very passionate relationship.

OoO

Lana sat on a park bench to rest, she'd gone to the wicka shop for some necessary supplies, and had spent the rest of her time looking in shops and making a few select purchases.

Thinking back to the morning's conversation, her eyes hardened. Listening to Clark as he said he shared a connection with Lois, seeing the look in his eyes when he mentioned how well they were getting along, seeing the sad cast to his features because Lois wasn't as receptive to him as he wanted, made her gnash her teeth in fury.

Hearing Martha say that Lois had always belonged in their family had stung. Martha had never said that to her, she'd never even intimated it, not even when she and Clark were dating. It grieved her heart that his parents loved the girl their son had hated, but had never said they loved her; the girl their son had loved.

She was well aware that Lois held a special place in Martha's heart next to Mr Kent and Clark and although she wanted Martha to love her as much as she loved Lois, she had to accept that wasn't going to happen. However, Clark was a different matter. He'd loved her since he was 5; years ago he'd told her they were _always_ meant to be together, and he'd been right. If she had believed him they would now be happily married. She and Clark had a real connection, something that Lois could never touch and that just made it all the more special.

She looked at her watch surprised that it was nearly 1pm, deciding to get some lunch she got to her feet before changing her mind and calling Clark instead. She wanted to spend time with him, and she definitely didn't want Clark and Lois to become so comfortable with each other that once again she walked in on them as she had in the barn. When they were younger Clark's attention had been on her not Lois, and she was damned if she wasn't going to take his attention back while Joanne wasn't around.

OoO

Clark was in the cafe when his cell phone rang; he pretended to be happy to hear from Lana but mentally swore in his head. He'd wanted to spend time alone with Lois, find out what she thought of their apartment, hopefully she'd have questions that he could and would answer, but with Lana joining them it wouldn't be the time to talk.

When he got back to the apartment he knew by the look on Lois' face she had received a jolt but was trying to hide it.

"Sorry I took so long, I brought sandwiches, cake, and soft drinks or we have coffee if you like. Lana called she'll be here in a few minutes."

"Ok well we can eat at the table then." She said in a subdued voice.

"Lois are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." She paused before asking quietly, "You knew didn't you?"

"Knew what?" He replied before reaching into the cupboard for plates.

"Clark, don't play dumb, you knew what I'd see when you brought me here, didn't you?" She asked patiently taking a seat at the table.

"Yes." He didn't want to play games, he wanted to talk.

"I thought so; you wanted me to see it."

"Yeah I did, but I didn't want to push you."

"I know; that's why you were so casual." She stated and was unsurprised at his nod.

"So what'd you think?" He asked taking a seat.

"I think I'm hungry." She replied reaching for a sandwich.

"Lois what'd you think of the apartment?"

"It's nice."

"What'd you see?"

"You know exactly what I saw and I don't wanna talk about it."

"Lo, let me lay it out for you, you saw an apartment shared by two people who aren't just roommates and aren't just settling for each other. The photos can show you that, but you saw an apartment that's home for two people who love each other, didn't you?" He relayed quietly, hoping she'd agree but not surprised when she didn't.

"Look, your apartments nice and that's all I'm going to say." She said before biting into her sandwich.

"Ok, but I know I'm right."

"Hmm."

"Is that hmm yes, or hmm no?" He asked with a smile in his voice.

"Just hmm."

He decided to let it drop, she clearly didn't want to discuss it but even without her agreement they both knew he was right and that was enough.

OoO

Lana arrived a few minutes later and joined them. "So how'd you go, did you find everything you were after?"

"Not everything, but we've done pretty good so far. We don't have to worry about the flowers because Joanne already ordered them, but hopefully, after lunch we'll find the last few things we need, right Lo?" Clark asked, smiling when she nodded and waved unable to talk around a full mouth.

"That's good."

The three sat quietly munching on sandwiches and cake, when Clark offered coffee, both women replied in the affirmative.

"I'm just going outside for a few minutes, I'll be back soon." Lois said getting up from the table.

"Where are you going Lo?"

"Just outside, I want a smoke and I think I'd better have it outside."

"Lois, this is your home; you don't have to go outside."

"Yeah I do, it's not really my home and besides the last thing you need is to have your apartment smelling of smoke." She replied with a smile before snagging her purse from the couch and making her way to the front door, stopping to turn back at Clark's call.

"Lo, if you insist on going outside, why don't you use the doors of the lounge, they lead to a little terrace that has a table and chairs." He offered sweeping his hand in the direction of the terrace.

"Ok, thanks." She walked through the lounge, opened the doors and stepped outside.

OoO

Sitting at the table lazily smoking Lois glanced at her surroundings. The apartment was nice, not extravagant, not plush or pretentious but nice; she firmly refused to think of the bedroom and just enjoyed the view from the balcony.

It was a nice neighbourhood, not quite in the heart of the city but barely 15 minutes away so there was still plenty of street noises and hustle and bustle, but with enough privacy to feel alone if a person wanted to.

She wanted to relax but her mind refused to let her delay or ignore her thoughts for long; and once again returned to Lana, or more to the point Lana and Clark.

She knew that Clark had been pleased when she agreed to come to the apartment, in the end she'd said yes because she'd wanted to reassure herself that she'd made the right decision by not interfering in his and Joanne's relationship, and as uncomfortable as seeing their home, their life made her feel, she knew that she had.

Lana was another matter entirely, she'd wanted her to come with them so she could keep an eye on her, but had to admit to being relieved when she went her own way. Being around the woman made her distinctly uncomfortable, yesterday she'd convinced herself that Lana wouldn't try to harm her or Joanne, but now she wasn't quite sure.

Lana hadn't said or done anything that could even be classified as threatening, but now that she knew how Lana felt, she just couldn't ignore it. Being around Lana made her neck itch; she felt like she needed to face her, not turn her back, the woman gave her the creeps she thought repressing a shudder.

Younger Lana was ok, she was a pain in the ass like Skipper, and she liked to get her own way as did most people, she didn't like being told no and very rarely was, but she didn't feel threatened by her.

While living in Smallville she'd noticed there were a lot of people who were indifferent to Lana; who didn't feel one way or another about her, but at the same time, there were also a lot of people who were in a different class entirely, people who felt one of two emotions towards the girl quite fiercely. They either wanted to kill her, or they thought the sun shone out of her ass; that was _**not**_ normal. Maybe Lana was meteor infected and drove people to passion or murder, and no one knew about it; no one except for Lana.

Clark said his planet blowing up caused the meteor shower, the same meteor shower that coincidently produced so many meteor freaks. As far as she was aware other than Alicia, Clark hadn't been romantically drawn to any other meteor infected people. His relationship with Alicia hadn't even come across as anything other than desperation to get out from under Lana's hold on him, it hadn't worked but he'd tried.

Maybe Lana was the ultimate meteor freak; she could be like a superconductor to Clark. It would certainly go a long way to explaining Skippers blind devotion to her, his earnest and almost overzealous love for the girl. And if that was the case, the guy hadn't stood a chance; Lana would have been like a giant magnet to Clark, the puny metal shavings.

She'd never asked Skipper what he found so fascinating about Lana, and she'd bet he wouldn't be able tell her. He usually just said how much he loved her and always had, but he'd never said he loved her because of such and such a reason.

When it came to Lana, Skipper was almost like the three wise monkeys; only in his case he wasn't so wise. He was deaf, dumb, blind and saw, heard and spoke no evil about Lana. He didn't mind pointing out others faults, but he never saw any in her. That was _**not**_ normal. No matter how much you liked someone, you couldn't ignore their faults forever, but where Lana was concerned he'd been doing it for years.

Lex was just further proof. The guy could be a hard ass and ruthless but he was like a lamb when it came to Lana, she'd seen the way he looked at her and he was definitely smitten. Lex had been around the block a few times, he was at least 27, maybe older, so what in hell would he see in a girl who had just finished high school? He wasn't some old man perv looking for young flesh, and there were plenty of women who'd go out with him for his money alone, so it wasn't like he had to settle for Lana.

Blowing out a breath, Lois rubbed her hand across her forehead. This whole situation now had her feeling sorry for Lex. She actually felt sorry for Lex Luthor! She'd never felt sorry for him, but she honestly did now. She'd never held him accountable for his relationship with Lana, she blamed him for a lot of things and was right to do so, but she had never blamed him for 'stealing' Lana.

Clark and Lana had fucked up their relationship without any outside help. However, constantly being the victim of Clark's antipathy for 'stealing' Lana, having to put up with veiled comments, burning looks of hate and on more than one occasion flat out resentment couldn't have been easy. Lex had received that from most people, not just Clark, he would have deserved it from most people, but he had never have deserved it for being the guy accused of stealing another's girl.

But now being on the receiving end of the same kind of looks that Lex was getting from Skipper, she actually felt empathy for the creep.

God she didn't need this shit, she already had enough shit going on without this. She just wanted everything to stop, for time to stand still so she could get off this particular ride and regain her equilibrium long enough to think straight.

Raking her hand through her hair, Lois stood up and began to pace on the small balcony. It could be her imagination but she wasn't willing to leave the fate of her life on shrugging off silly feelings, soldiers learnt to trust their gut instincts, she trusted hers and right now her gut was screaming that Lana was dangerous.

Shaking it off, Lois got back to the matter at hand, ok, so Lana _**could**_ be meteor infected and was either totally unaware of it, or have full knowledge of the fact. It didn't seem possible that a person wouldn't know, but she couldn't discount that possibility either.

She was supposed go back tomorrow which didn't leave her much time, so she'd have to be quick but maybe the first thing she needed to find out was just how many meteor freaks had tried to kill Lana the past few years. If Lana was a meteor freak, THE QUEEN meteor freak, maybe the other freaks weren't evil, so much as trying to protect everyone else from her, but couldn't explain either why they were so drawn to her, or why they wanted to kill her.

Nodding her head, and firming her chin she resolved to do some checking into Lana Lang.

OoO

"You and Lois seemed to have had a productive day so far." Lana queried when Lois disappeared through the balcony door.

"Yeah we found most everything which is good, now if only we can figure out how to fix things so she can go back and my fiancé can return, we'll be all set." Clark replied with a lopsided smile. He got up from the table and gestured toward the couch in the living room, placing Lois' cup on the coffee table, he picked up the bags and placed them beside the front door before returning to sit on the couch.

Taking a seat beside him Lana reached over and squeezed his hand, before raising the cup to her lips. "It'll be alright Clark, but I actually meant you both seemed more relaxed, I know what you told us this morning, but I have to say I never thought I'd ever see Clark Kent and Lois Lane circa 2007 getting along so well." She smiled.

"True, but it's only Lois Lane circa 2007 not both of us. When I was younger Lois and I used to go out of our way to annoy each other, but I know her now so I know she doesn't mean to piss me off…well except for when she does mean to piss me off." He replied in amusement.

"What?" Lana shook her head confused.

"Lois sometimes does or says something just to tick me off, because she knows it'll get a rise out of me. When I was younger we used to do that to each other, but sometimes I could be a little too sensitive, which would just aggravate her. But I've learnt when she's really pissed off, and when she's just teasing to see what I'll say or do." He smiled, lifting his cup and taking a sip.

"You sound like you almost enjoy it." Lana cocked her head to the side and frowned.

"I do, it's our thing. Lo and I understand each other, we get each other." He nodded in return.

"What are you going to do if Joanne doesn't come back?" She asked quietly.

"She'll come back."

"You sound so sure."

"I have to be." Clark said firmly.

"I feel so sorry for Lois; it must be hard to be in the future and see yourself with someone you never imagined yourself with." Lana said with soft sympathy.

"Yeah."

"But it must be hard for you too, not to mention frustrating." She enquired delicately.

"Both." He said quietly. "It's both."

"How do you think Skipper would have handled it?" She asked hoping to lighten the atmosphere and change the subject from Lois.

"I think just as Lois is trying to get us back together, he would have been frantically calling Oliver, begging him to come back in between sessions of brooding in the loft." Clark replied shaking his head with a laugh.

"No; not the brooding, please." Lana giggled.

"Oh there would have been brooding and sulking." Clark said nodding confidently.

"I'm kind of glad he's not here." She said softly.

"So am I!" He said with feeling.

"Why?"

"Because I imagine if Skipper was here and I was gone, by the time I returned Lois would have moved out, and thrown my ring back in my face for good measure." Clark replied flatly.

"You think he would have been that bad?" Lana asked raising her brows.

"Yeah, whether he'd try to shove Lois onto someone else like she's doing with us, or whether his attitude and sulking would have just pissed Lois off, I don't know but yeah, it would have been that bad." He replied softly.

"But to sulk just because he's in the future seems…I don't wanna be mean, but it seems so childish." Lana said hoping he'd say what she wanted to hear, and glad when he did.

"He would have been resentful finding out that he was marrying Lois instead of you, and he would have made sure that Lois was aware of it." Clark corrected. "He wouldn't understand Lana, he wouldn't try to understand, he would have reacted the same way Lois did." He shook his head sadly.

"That's what you meant this morning when you said his feelings would be on par with Lois'?" At his nod, Lana nodded in return. "Does she resent your relationship with Joanne?"

"She did when she first found out, but we're getting along better now so I'm hoping she's not finding it as jarring as she first did." He took a deep breath and quietly explained at the bewilderment on Lana's face. "You have to remember what she's just come from. Back there, we weren't interested in each other romantically, all I did was talk about you, and she thought I was nice but irritating." He shrugged.

"I'm sorry Clark, I had no idea how badly you must have been feeling the past few days." Lana reached out and rubbed his arm.

"It's ok, it'll be over soon I hope, and it is getting better, so that's something." He smiled slightly. "Anyway changing the subject, why are you glad Skippers not here?"

"Because more than likely when he found out that I was divorced from Lex and knew what a huge mistake I'd made, he would have been saying I told you so." She grimaced.

"He wouldn't have done that, he would have been glad that you were free." Clark said sincerely.

"You think?" She asked hopefully.

"No, I know, he is me remember?" He smirked.

"True, you've always been such a great friend Clark, thank you." She said gratefully leaning over and kissing his cheek.

He felt uncomfortable, if Lois had come back in when Lana kissed him, as innocent as the exchange had been, she would have more than likely misconstrued the situation.

"Would you like more coffee?" He asked feeling it was past time to get off any kind of sentimental issues.

"No thanks."

Lois returned a few minutes later, picked up the cup from the table and took a seat in the recliner.

"So Lana where'd you go today?"

"I just shopped around, I usually come to Metropolis once a month or so to join everyone for dinner or just to get together, but I don't usually get the time to look in the stores that much." She shrugged in reply

"Hmm, buy anything interesting?"

"No." Lana laughed lightly. "Just a dress and some odds and ends."

Lois smiled and nodded. "Well we've still got some stuff to get, are you gonna join us?"

"I'd like to if that's ok."

"Of course it is. I'll just go to the bathroom and we're set." Lois nodded and standing up made her way down the hall.

"Sorry Clark, I couldn't think of anything else that I wanted to do, is it ok that I come along with you and Lois or did you want me to make myself scarce for a bit longer?" Lana asked quietly.

"No, its fine Lana, we've had the morning to ourselves, so it's good." He smiled reassuringly.

"Ok, umm do you have another bathroom I can use?" Lana asked politely.

"Yeah it's ah, it's off the bedroom, but Lois shouldn't be long if you don't mind waiting." He said uncomfortably.

"Oh ok." She nodded in reply.


	25. Chapter 25

From here until almost the end of the story, the only advice I can give you is the famous Bette Davis line from the movie All About Eve; '_fasten your seatbelts, it's going to be a bumpy night'._

Linda

oOo

**Chapter 25**

It took a further 3 hours to find everything they wanted and Clark was grateful that Lois was such a decisive person, one who knew what she wanted and liked. He couldn't say shopping was an experience he particularly enjoyed, so was glad to have it over with.

They had finally finished and were getting ready to leave when Lois spied a pair of boots she fell in love with and just had to have, declaring that Joanne would love them too. He had to admit that seeing them gave him visions of Joanne wearing the boots and little else. Of course while she was oohing and aahing over the boots, Lana saw some shoes she just had to have, and leaving the ladies to try on shoes to their hearts content he took the carry bags and a seat, glad to sit this part of the shopping out.

When they were finished they joined him declaring they were more than ready to go home. Back at the apartment, they looked at the purchases and grimaced. "Ok, so how are we going to do this, we have tons of stuff. Do you wanna drop it off and come back for us?" Lois asked.

"Yeah, it won't take long to drop the stuff off; I'll be back in a few minutes ok?" At their answering nods Clark duly left and was back minutes later for Lana and Lois shortly afterwards.

OoO

Sitting at the kitchen table Lois perused the cook book but couldn't decide what to make. "Mrs Kent, anything in particular you want me to make?"

"Well, as most of the food's being catered, and Chloe and Lana are helping me with the main dishes, you really don't need to cook for the party sweetie." Martha replied tactfully.

"Hmm, you're right." Lois nodded, closing the book with a snap, unaware that inward smiles of relief were shared by all those present, but when she opened the book again and began to run her finger down the index page, the relief turned to panic.

"Um Lo." Chloe asked cautiously.

"Yeah?' She asked absently lifting her head at Chloe's repeated calls. "What Chlo?"

"I thought you weren't going to cook for the party."

"I'm not." She said decisively.

"Then what are you doing?"

"Well I thought I could help out, so while you, Lana and Mrs Kent are busy cooking for the party, I'll make dinner." Lois smiled. "What does everyone feel like?"

"I'll help you Lo, I have nothing to do." Clark swiftly put in.

"Ok, so what are we going to make?"

"We don't have to start now, it's still fairly early." He protested.

"Clark it's almost 5 o'clock." Lois protested.

"We could go for a drive or watch a movie."

"If you don't wanna cook, I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself y'know." She scowled in return.

"No, I wanna help, but the kitchen's pretty full right now, we should do it when mom, Chloe and Lana are finished."

"Hmm, Martha how long do you think?"

Knowing that Lois wouldn't give up Martha inwardly sighed "Another 30 minutes sweetie and the kitchens all yours."

"Ok." Lois nodded and continued her train of thought. "But we have to decide what we're going to make first."

"Meatloaf." Clark replied knowing it was the easiest thing to make and not something she could screw up, however, being Lois he was sure she'd find a way.

"Get out, we are not having meatloaf." Lois shot down his suggestion without a blink. "I was watching a cooking show the other day, they made southern deep fried chicken, and it looked really good, well make that." She said nodding her head and smiling.

Reluctantly agreeing and knowing she was determined to cook, all the occupants of the house mentally groaned at what was coming and each thanked god that Clark would be helping.

Exactly 30 minutes later Lois chased the women out of the kitchen, declaring they needed a break and rest and it was now it was her and Clark's turn to help out by making dinner.

Between the cooking and their lack of sleep Chloe and Martha did need a rest and fell asleep while watching TV, Lana left to look after Talon business, and shortly after starting Clark was called away for Superman duties and didn't return until dinner time.

When he arrived home, it was to find Lois in tears at the dinner table, and the ladies crowded around her trying to offer comfort.

"What's wrong, did something happen?" Clark asked in alarm.

"Everything's fine sweetie." His mom replied, holding Lois while she cried into her shoulder.

"Then why is Lois crying?" He asked impatiently.

Chloe took him aside and quietly informed him that Lois' dinner didn't turn out the way she expected. When he asked for further explanation, he got the full story.

The food all looked delicious; unhappily that was the only good thing about it. They were hungry; Lois was looking at them eagerly so all three had picked up a golden brown chicken leg and bit in deep.

"God Clark the chicken was raw, she didn't bake the it before crumbing and frying, so the only part that was cooked was the breadcrumbs on the outside." Chloe grimaced and rubbed her stomach. "The three of us looked at each other in panic but we had to smile and pretend it was nice. I really thought I was gonna hurl, we eventually we had to force ourselves to swallow."

Clark's face distorted and he gestured for her to continue.

"The mashed potatoes turned out to be both lumpy and runny at the same time but Lois assured us the vegetables had been thoroughly washed of all the blood she'd spilt on them while cutting them up." Chloe paused and sighed. "I started to scarfe down the bread and began praising it to the heavens, only to find out that your mom made it."

"We were all so busy jumping up and down, rushing to the fridge and cupboards to get sauce and salt, anything to avoid having to sit down and eat, that we didn't realise Lois had started eating." Chloe nodded her head. "The first clue we had was when she made a noise, we looked over and found her holding a chicken leg that she'd bitten into."

Clarks face contorted. "What'd she say when she ate it?"

"Her eyes filled with tears and she spat it out." Chloe shrugged. "Look we all know Lois can't cook, but you know how she hates not being able to do something, especially something as basic as cooking. She's upset and it's not funny, because she's really hurt." She finished quietly.

"But why on earth would she cry about it?" He frowned and scratched his ear.

"Clark how many times has Joanne made you something?" At his shrug, Chloe nodded "Have you ever told her how freaking awful it is?" At his head shake, she nodded again "Why?" She asked patiently.

"Because I don't wanna hurt her feelings, you know that Chloe." He replied just as patiently.

"Exactly! Don't you get it yet, she feels like a failure."

"She's not!" He replied vehemently.

"I know that and you know that, but she doesn't." Chloe pointed out.

"Who the hell cares if she can cook or not, I don't care."

"God you're such a man!" Chloe whispered in exasperation. "Will you just get over there and say something nice." She finished giving him a push.

"Of course I will, you know I will, you don't need to yell at me!" He turned around and whispered back just as fiercely.

Before he could take a step, she quickly pulled him back and whispered frantically in his ear "But please Clark, for god's sakes tell her the truth."

"You want me to tell her she can't cook?"

"Yeah and when Joanne gets back you'll have to tell her again" At his look of fear she quickly amended "Well all stand behind you, we'll even get an exorcist in if we have to, but we've gotta tell her!"

Nodding he walked over and took a seat beside Lois and was relieved that her crying had been reduced to a few sniffles. It made no difference why she was crying; he didn't like to see her upset for any reason, and heartily wished he'd been there to help with the cooking when she needed him.

Looking into her wet red eyes and hearing her sniff, his heart melted. "Um Lo, Chloe told me about dinner, I'm sorry it didn't work out."

She nodded and her lip quivered. "I didn't know you had to bake the chicken first."

"Yeah, umm hah, that was unfortunate." He nodded, wondering how in hell he could tell her that she was a rotten cook who'd nearly given everyone salmonella poisoning. "Didn't they show it on the cooking show?" He asked stalling for time.

"I didn't actually watch the whole show." Lois confessed. "Who wants to watch while someone shoves their hand up a chickens bum to pull out the guts before ripping the poor thing to pieces, it's disgusting!" She scowled and threw out her hands. "I kinda tuned out a little." She finished quietly.

Hearing the choked off laughter from the women, and valiantly suppressing any shake in his voice he nodded seriously. "Yeah, they really don't need to show that stuff. Um Lo, you know that Joanne makes me cookies and cakes, stuff like that right." At her nod he swallowed "Well y'know I really love that she makes me stuff, but Lo you can't cook."

She sniffed "But…"

"I'm sorry." He cut in "I …we should have been honest with you, we just didn't wanna hurt your feelings, but the truth is….your cooking really sucks." He said in a rush.

"CLARK!" Martha and Chloe yelled causing him to flush for being so tactless.

"My cooking sucks?" Lois asked in a small voice.

"Yeah sorry Lois, I shouldn't have said it like that but yeah, you're a bad cook." He nodded.

She sniffed and nodded "I…but ….and now there's nothing to eat for dinner."

"That's not true, I can go and get something, or we can eat some of the stuff that was made today, and mom always has something in the freezer that I can heat up with my heat vision." He replied quietly.

"Ok, thanks Clark." She nodded and gamely smiled then turned to face the women and addressed them all "But you guys shouldn't have eaten the chicken, I didn't wanna poison anyone."

"We know Lo, as Clark said we should have been honest with you and we're sorry that we weren't." Chloe smiled, and everyone agreed.

Once it was decided they would eat some of the food that had been prepared earlier in the day, and Lois' dinner was duly disposed off the rest of dinner went off without a hitch.

OoO

Once dinner was finished and the dishes cleared away, Lois excused herself to have a cigarette outside "Hey um Chlo, why don't you keep me company." And not giving the woman a chance to say otherwise, grabbed her hand and pulled her along.

"Lois, did you want me out here with you for a reason?" Chloe asked patiently when Lois didn't begin talking immediately.

Lois tried to think of the most tactful way of asking what she needed to and in the end decided to direct and to the point. It was her way and Chloe was used to it; she internally shrugged.

"Yeah, umm, Chlo you know all about meteor freaks right?" Lois asked blowing out a streak of smoke.

"They're not really freaks Lo."

"Isn't that what you call them?"

"I did but that was before I understood that they can't help it that they were affected by the meteors, it's not their fault." Chloe said sincerely.

"No, but it is their fault that they're all homicidal maniacs."

"Not all of them, only the ones who cause trouble, I mean they stand out so they come to people's attention." Raking a hand through her hair Chloe pushed the swing lightly with her foot; "but I think that there are a lot of them that don't do anything with what they have or some who use what they have for good but you don't hear about them."

"Chloe, what's going on?"

Taking a deep breath Chloe confessed. "I'm meteor infected Lo."

"How'd you know?"

"Someone else who was meteor infected figured it out."

"I'm sorry Chloe, and I don't mean I'm sorry that you were affected, I'm sorry for calling you a freak." Lois replied reaching out to hold her cousin's hand.

"It's not your fault, you got the meteor freak label from me, but being affected myself kind of gave me a new perspective." Chloe shrugged. "I understand and sympathise with the people that have been affected." She looked over at Lois and smiled slightly.

"Chlo you don't sympathise with the ones who kill people do you?" Lois questioned.

"No! Lo I feel for the ones who are like me, the one's who are still unaware they've been affected, or the ones who know but want to keep it quiet." She replied grateful for the understanding on Lois' face.

"Well you're no murderer Chlo you don't have it in you, so I'll just think of you as Chloe with something extra." Lois grinned, squeezing Chloe's hand.

"Something good I hope."

"Dope, of course something good, so what can you do?"

"I can heal people with my tears." Chloe said bashfully.

"You're kidding, that's pretty cool"

"You think?"

"Hell yeah, just think my little cuz really does have the gift of healing." Lois gave Chloe a one armed hug before bending down to put out the cigarette.

"Thanks, I was really scared when I found out but I'm ok with it now."

"Good, because you don't have anything to be ashamed about." Lois stated then warned, "But don't tell people ok Chloe. Unfortunately there are a lot of people who'd take advantage of you, and others who'd wanna dissect you like a frog."

"I know Lo, don't worry only a few select people know and they're ones I trust and before you ask, yes Joanne knows, I told her a long time ago."

"I'm glad that you felt comfortable enough to talk with her about it."

"At first I didn't, I didn't even wanna know myself but I've accepted it and now I'm fine." Chloe smiled.

Lois nodded again and decided it was time to get back on track. "Ok, but going by what you said, a person can be meteor infected and not even realise it right?"

"Yeah, with some people it's really obvious, y'know physical deformities and things but other people don't know at all, why'd you ask?" She enquired, tilting her head to the side while her lips twitched.

"No reason, I was just thinking about Clark coming down in the meteor shower, stuff like that." Lois waved her arm casually.

"Lois, you're not meteor infected." Chloe smiled reassuringly.

"I didn't think I was; I was just wondering about meteor people that's all."

"Are you going to try and blame the meteors for messing with Joanne's head and making her fall for Clark?" Chloe chuckled.

"You're a smartass Chlo that never even occurred to me, but now that you mention it, it could be true." Lois nodded her head and considered.

"Sorry Lo it's not, you just finally fell for his charm cuz." She snickered.

"He has charm?" Lois smirked. "Gees I must have missed it, how long did it take Joanne to fall for his charm Chlo; about 10 year's right?"

"You're only 8 years in the future Lo." Chloe giggled and pointed out

"But it's about 10 from when I met him." Lois sing-songed back.

"But you've been going out with him for nearly two years now." Chloe simpered.

"Only 18 months." Lois fought back.

"You asked him to marry youuuu, Lo let me go." Chloe chortled.

Hearing the screams Clark, Martha and Lana ran outside to check on the commotion, and found Lois holding Chloe in a headlock.

"Let me go." Chloe cried between bouts of laughter.

"Take it back." Lois chuckled. "C'mon Sullivan no one's gonna save you now, take it back."

"Girls what's going on?" Martha demanded trying to suppress her laughter.

"It's her fault Mrs Kent, she started it." Lois turned and answered Martha while continuing to hold Chloe securely.

"I didn't, she did. Clark help me!" Chloe appealed looking up and smiling prettily but when he held his hands up and smiled, she knew there was no help from that quarter.

"C'mon Sullivan beg for forgiveness and I might just take it easy on you." Lois smiled and patted Chloe on the head.

"Beg! Sullivan's don't beg, but we do fight dirty." Chloe replied, before reaching around and pinching Lois on the side and once free she ran.

The two women fought and laughed, and the spectators enjoyed the show which finished with both women flinging themselves on the porch swing panting.

"What on earth was that about?" Clark asked chuckling.

"Just a cousin thing." Lois waved airily.

"Right a cousin thing." Chloe concurred.

Shaking her head at them, Martha went back into the house chuckling, while Clark and Lana elected to stay on the front porch.

OoO

Enjoying the lazy atmosphere the four sat on the porch and chatted about this and that for half an hour before Lois excused herself to go back inside "Hey Chloe, can I borrow your laptop?"

"Sure, it's in the lounge, is there something in particular you wanted to look up that I can help with?"

"No nothing really, I just thought I'd surf for a while, y'know check out what's changed in the last 8 years, that kind of thing." Lois said casually.

"Ok, well help yourself, but didn't you and Clark bring your own laptops?" Chloe questioned with a quick frown.

When the women looked at Clark, he nodded. "I didn't bring mine but you wouldn't leave yours behind Lo." He'd noticed her pulse jump and wondered why she would lie about something as simple as looking on the web.

"Great, so where is it?" Lois replied heading towards the door.

"It should be in the bottom of the closet; Joanne put it there when we arrived."

"Ok thanks, well I'm going in, see you all later." She opened the door then stopped and turned back when Clark called her name.

"You need the password." He said quietly, bending down to whisper it in her ear, she nodded, thanked him and went inside.

"I can't really blame her, if I went to the future I'd like know what had changed as well." Chloe said absently, getting up and heading inside. "I'm going to check if your mom wants to do some more cooking."

"Yeah wait up, we'll come too." Clark called.

OoO

"Martha did you want to do some more cooking or preparation?" Chloe asked taking a seat at the table.

"I think we can take a break tonight dear, even after eating some of what we cooked for dinner tonight we'll have plenty. We still have a few days left to finish, and with Lana helping we're sure to get it all done quicker." Martha smiled in thanks.

"Ok, but now we have serious discussion time." Chloe said quietly leaning forward.

Clark and Lana quickly took seats and all four leant forward huddling in closer over the table waiting for Chloe to speak.

Chloe looked around first to check the coast was clear. "When Joanne comes back she's going to wanna cook, my stomach can't take another dinner like tonight's; what are we going to tell her?" She asked in a hushed voice.

Martha's eyes became round as the possibility of eating another of tonight's feasts hadn't occurred to her until this moment. "Oh honey, what are we gonna do?" She turned and asked Clark.

"I…well…I don't know." He shrugged looking apologetic at the looks thrown at him.

"You're gonna have to tell her the truth Clark! And don't, for god's sake tell her that her cooking sucks." Chloe hissed.

"That just came out." He replied with wounded dignity.

"Well if you wanna end up sleeping on the couch for the rest of your life, then I dare you to let it just 'slip out' with Joanne." She replied nastily.

"I can be subtle." He said defensively and glared daggers at Chloe's unladylike snort "I can! I was just feeling pressured because she was looking at me with big wet eyes, and I noticed you didn't have the guts to tell her yourself." He jeered back.

"I…."

"What'd you usually do when Joanne wants to cook?" Martha cut Chloe off, hoping to stop their rivalry.

"Distract her."

"Distract her how?" Lana asked politely which caused Chloe to snigger at his blush.

"Well until you can think of a way to tell her that won't have you banished to the dog house, you'll have to keep distracting her because there is no way I'm eating raw chicken again." Chloe replied flatly and seeing the looks on the others faces knew they heartily agreed with her.

"Chloe she'll feel left out." Clark stated shaking his head, then brightened "I know, I'll just tell her that I've missed her chocolate brownies and get her to make me some; that'll keep her occupied for a little while." He said shooting a smug smile at the faces around him.

"Fine, get her to make you lots of things, sorry Clark but it's your stomach or everyone else's and frankly she's your fiancé, so you're the sacrifice." Chloe said unsympathetically.

"She's your cousin." Clark countered.

"I'm not the one marrying her."

"Well I'm no…"

"Children please" Martha interrupted holding up her hands for peace and abruptly found herself the centre of attention.

"She's going to be your daughter in law." Chloe and Clark said together, looked at each other and back at Martha.

"Clark, I'm with Chloe, find a way to tell her the truth or it's your stomach, sorry sweetie but... …" Martha trailed off and shrugged at his wounded look.

"But it's every man for himself!" Chloe finished getting in the last word.

OoO

Lois spent the next two hours looking up everything she could find about Smallville and meteor affected people.

Reading the description of the first meteor shower brought back memories to her of the second one; it seemed unbelievable that such a thing could happen twice to one small town. She felt sorry for Lana losing both her parents when she was only 6 in the first meteor shower. According to the write up, Lana had witnessed them actually being struck, that was harsh and not something that would be easy to get over.

But Lana wasn't the only person to be affected that day, a lot of people had lost loved ones. It did seem kind of weird that Lana was on the cover of 'Time' magazine. The photo showed a child in distress during the meteor shower, but where in hell did anyone get that photo?

According to the report and having lived through the second meteor shower, she knew that people weren't sticking around taking photos; they were too damn busy running for their lives and if anyone did take a photo they'd be taking it of the meteors. And according to the article no meteor shower had been expected that day so it wasn't like the Time magazine photographer had been at ground zero hoping to win a Pulitzer for a series of photo's of small time life, he hadn't even been in Smallville at the time, so just where did the photo of Lana crying _during_ the meteor shower come from?

She was being picky, maybe it wasn't important and she was now just looking for reasons to be suspicious but it still seemed weird to her.

Calling up the Torch, she read over the articles during Chloe's time as editor and was surprised at the number of people who had both idolised and tried to kill Lana, the list read like something out of Ripley's.

Greg Arkin was a guy who'd literally become a bug and wanted Lana as his mate.

Tina Greer could morph into anyone and idolised Lana.

Bryon Moore was a weird teenager who was hot for Lana, and left her poems even though he'd never met her.

A little girl Emily that had been Lana's childhood friend, who was supposed to be dead but wasn't, had been so obsessed with Lana and wanted to be with her so much that she'd tried to kill her dad.

Jake Pollan, ok this was creepy, the guy had gills and apparently wow, big surprise; he'd been obsessed with and tried to attack Lana.

Fuck the list just went on; maybe she should look up the people who didn't give a rats ass about Lana, the list would have to be shorter than the ones who wanted her dead.

Ok, not all of those people were meteor infected but they had all been affected by one thing or another; and each and every one of them had been obsessed with Lana to the point of trying to kill her. The way the stories were told, these people had all tried to make Lana their own exclusive territory but maybe unknowingly, they'd had hidden reasons that even they couldn't explain.

And maybe she was reaching, rubbing a hand over her face; Lois closed the laptop and sighed. That exercise was fruitless; if Lana was meteor affected she'd never be able to prove it, it wasn't like she could hold up a cross and expect Lana to draw back in horror and hiss, and ok, that was for vampires anyway.

Ok, Lana made her uncomfortable but she hadn't actually done anything, the only thing she could do was keep an eye on her until she left. Joanne would be back tomorrow and she could take care of herself but just in case anything happened a little insurance never hurt.

Taking out a pen and paper she wrote a quick letter, sealed it in an envelope, addressed it and slipped it into her purse. She'd post the letter tomorrow, if anything happened to Joanne or herself, Lana would soon find herself the centre of a very interested party and would keep being the centre until she'd proven her innocence, knowing she had to be satisfied with that, she walked out the bedroom and headed downstairs.

OoO

"What are we going to have for supper?" Lois asked walking into the kitchen.

"Are you hungry Lo?" Clark turned from the TV and smiled.

"Not yet, but it never hurts to have something ready. What are you all watching?" She asked standing at the entrance of the lounge room.

"Just an old movie, do you feel like anything in particular for supper?"

"No, I don't know; something chocolate." She shrugged.

"I can make chocolate mousse, or chocolate cake." He offered.

"Great, so get making already." He got up with a chuckle and she followed to sit at the kitchen island to watch.

"Did you need some help sweetie?" Martha looked over and asked.

"No, I'm fine mom, you and Chloe take a break, you too Lana, I've got it." He replied when all three ladies looked over at him in question.

"So which is it gonna be Lo, mousse or cake?"

"Um, it doesn't matter but can I lick the spoon, no; the bowl when you're finished?"

"Uh huh, I know Joanne likes to do that so it's usually kept for her." He grinned at her slight flush.

Deciding to make a cake, he mixed the ingredients not missing the ways Lois' eyes watched everything, and gently ignored her advice on how to make it better. After putting the cake in the oven, he handed over the bowl and watched as she ran her finger inside and licked it clean before dipping it back in to start again.

Watching her, he couldn't help but think he was looking at his fiancé, seeing the concentration on her face as she tried to get every last bit of mixture out, the way she closed her eyes to better relish the taste and when she licked her lips he licked his own and was caught off guard when Lois put the bowl down and looked at him.

"Clark, can I ask you something?" Lois asked quietly.

"Sure." He ignored the flush in his cheeks and leant on the island towards her.

"Let's go outside I wanna have a cigarette." Patting her pockets to ensure the pack was there she walked outside and he followed.

"You said that your planet blowing up caused the meteor shower right?" At his nod, she nodded in return and lit up a cigarette. "Ok, I know that a lot of people were affected by the meteors and not all of them in a good way, so I wondering if you were affected by the meteors too?"

"Yeah; but in a different way."

"What way?"

"Well parts of the meteor rock that fell to earth is called Kryptonite. Green meteor rock or kryptonite can kill me, red affects me in different ways both mentally and physically, grey makes me paranoid, blue suppresses my powers and removes the sensitivity of the green, black can split my personality, white …"

"Ok, stop, so basically this Kryptonite isn't a good thing as far as you're concerned?" Lois stated blowing out a stream of smoke.

"No." He smiled slightly.

"Can people who have been exposed to meteor rock affect you?"

"In what way?" He asked curiously.

"Ok, take Alicia, you were…well kinda weird about her, she was just plain nuts and the two of you ran off and got married. So I was just wondering if y'know…. if any other people have affected you in the same way?" She asked gesturing with her hand before taking another drag on the cigarette.

"Lois, I only married Alicia because she put a necklace on me that had red kryptonite in it, and the red…well the red is pretty bad for me."

"Huh, and you claimed that she'd changed and sooo harmless." Lois scoffed waving him to silence when his mouth opened. "Ok, so could you have been affected by someone else the same way?"

"If you're wondering that maybe Joanne was affected by the meteor rocks and that's why we're engaged, you're wrong." He said shaking his head sadly.

"Why does everyone think I'm asking about Joanne?" Lois cried impatiently.

"Who else have you asked?"

"Chloe, well ok, I tried to ask her about meteor people and she thought the same thing."

"Hmm, so that's what the two of you were carrying on about earlier was it?" Clark smiled "If you're not asking about Joanne, who were you meaning or why were you asking?' He lifted his brow in query and hoped she'd tell him what was on her mind.

Turning around, she sat on the swing and sighed. "No reason."

"Lois you can talk to me." Clark replied quietly taking a seat beside her.

"I guess it's just being here in Smallville, the meteor oasis for all things weird, me being here in the future, you being from another planet, it kind of just all caught up to me y'know."

"Do you mind that I'm not human?" He tried to dredge up a smile and failed.

"Does Joanne mind?" Lois countered.

"No."

"There's your answer. Of course if you were an alien from 'War of the Worlds' it'd be different, but you're kind of like Alf without the fur." She grinned, knocking his arm with hers, before putting out the cigarette.

"Lois, he was a short, hairy puppet." Clark laughed.

"Yeah but he had a good heart." She replied chuckling.

"Hey you two, what's going on?" Chloe asked walking outside to stand against the porch railing with Lana following behind.

"Oh nothing Chlo, Lois just compared me to Alf." Clark snorted a laugh.

"Alf! Lo, that's just mean, he's more like ET." Chloe began to sing causing all to beg for silence.

"ET, Chloe that's even worse, I'm not short, and grey with an overly large head." Clark replied offended but his eyes twinkled.

"C'mon Clark let us have some fun with our friend the alien." She guffawed sharing an amused look with the others.

"Inter-Galactic Traveller, thank you." He replied with dignity.

"Where have you travelled to?" Lois asked innocently.

Clark sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Here."

The women started to laugh. "Ok, knock it off." He grinned. "How about we have some cake, I'm sure it's ready by now."

"And if it's not I'm sure you'll quickly make it ready with your heat vision, then cool it down just as fast, if only to get our mouths full and shut us up, right?" Chloe questioned, moving away from his batting hand.

They trooped into the kitchen and found the cake sitting on the sideboard cooling. "I'll make coffee." Lana offered, filling the pot with water, and placing the cups, sugar and milk on a tray.

After supper Martha excused herself and went to bed and Clark to his loft. The girls watched TV for a while but when Lois suggested poker Lana begged off and decided to go home. She put on her jacket, called goodnight and let herself out the door.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

While standing on the back porch she saw the light shining from the loft window and decided to stop in and say goodnight to Clark. Hopefully the romance of night, combined with the two of them being alone in the loft would be enough for him to reach out or give her an opening.

Stopping on the top landing, she found Clark sitting on the couch looking down at a picture in his wallet "How many times have I found you just this way?" Lana asked taking a seat beside him and reaching for the billfold. "Ok, usually you were looking at a picture of me." She said in mock outrage, closing the wallet with a snap and handing it back to him.

He smiled and questioned "I thought you'd left already."

"I was watching TV with Chloe and Lois, but when Lois suggested poker I decided to head on home." She said with a light laugh.

"Poker huh, I should have known it wouldn't take long; Lois loves playing cards." He grinned nodding.

"Do you normally get dragged into playing?" Lana asked curiously.

"Mmm hmm, the three of us play every now and then, but I usually lose fairly quickly and leave them to it. They're both utterly ruthless." He chuckled remembering nights when the girls would sit at the kitchen table eyeballing each other, each determined to win.

"Ruthless!"

"Oh yeah, you don't want to get between 'em when there's a good hand and money in the pot." Clark shook his head giving a mock frown

"They bet each other money?" She asked in astonishment.

"Yep, and the winner usually gloats." He smiled amused. "Lo actually stood up and did a victory dance once and in retaliation the next time Chloe won, she put on her jacket, grabbed her purse and walked out of our apartment singing, 'I am the champion' y'know a variation of the Queen song; Lois was not smiling." He finished with a chuckle.

"You're kidding?"

"Nope and after Chloe left, Lois sulked." He smiled remembering the methods he'd employed to cheer her up, and how she'd gloated afterwards that Chloe got her money, but she was the one who'd scored lucky that night. Just remembering little things like that made him miss her all the more and apprehension flooded him once again. Not realising that he'd tuned out of the conversation he looked up when he felt a touch on his hand.

Tilting her head to the side Lana quietly asked. "Are you ok, Clark?"

"Sorry Lana, I'm just thinking about tomorrow." He shrugged offhand.

"What's happening tomorrow?" She asked her brow wrinkling.

"Joanne's supposed to be back tomorrow but at the moment the only proof we have for that is the time factor." At her confused look he explained. "You know Lois woke up on the fifth day right?" At her nod, he continued. "I don't know if you remember the time she woke up but it was early evening." When she nodded again, he gestured with his hand. "But we haven't found out what caused it in the first place, so we still don't know how to fix it. The only thing we can do is hope that whoever did it 8 years ago does it again, so Lois can go back and Joanne returns." He finished quietly.

"What are you going to do if it that doesn't happen?" Lana asked softly.

"I have to believe it will." He shrugged again and gave a half-hearted smile.

She pulled him into a hug and held on tight. "It'll all work out Clark."

"I hope you're right."

"Aren't I always?" She asked pulling back far enough to give him a cheeky smile.

"Umm…." He trailed of laughing.

"Hey, thanks very much, there was a time you thought I could do no wrong." She said in reproof shaking her head sadly.

"C'mon, I was a kid and you were the girl I was crushing on." He replied in mock indignation.

They looked at each other and began to laugh. He didn't know how it happened, he really didn't, one minute they were laughing and then her face was just there, their lips had almost touched before he sprang of the couch and she flung herself away from him.

"What are we doing…god I…I'm sorry, I didn't mean…." Clark stood at the loft window running his hands through his hair, suppressing the urge to fly away. Knowing the situation couldn't be avoided he turned around to face her when Lana began to speak.

"No I am; that was…it was a mistake." She said in a horrified whisper.

"Yes, it was! I'm sorry Lana, I don't know what happened; we were laughing and, and then…but I swear I didn't mean to…." He didn't know what to say and stumbled to a halt.

"I know, but nothing happened and we have nothing to feel guilty about." She said sadly holding out her hand in supplication.

"Yeah, I…um, I'm just going to go back to the house, I'll see you ok." He replied walking quickly towards the stairs.

"Clark, wait!" He stopped and turned reluctantly at her call. "We didn't do anything wrong, please don't let this ruin our friendship." She rose from the couch and slowly began to walk towards him, then stopped; her face a picture of misery.

"I just think I should go back to the house." He repeated quietly.

"No don't, I was going home anyway. I shouldn't have come up here, I just wanted to say goodnight and when I saw you looking at Joanne's picture, I thought I'd cheer you up but instead I've just made things worse." She said tearfully grabbing her purse.

"No you haven't, you did help and I appreciate it." He paused and took a deep breath. "I'm being an idiot; let's just forget about it ok?" Clark finished with an awkward smile.

"Ok, I'll see you tomorrow. I really am sorry Clark." She replied, a wan smile on her face.

"You didn't do anything Lana, we're both making a big deal out of nothing and we're going to forget about it, alright?" At her nod he nodded back and saying goodnight she walked down the stairs and out.

OoO

Lana walked towards her car and inwardly swore. Damn! Damn! Damn! Damn! She'd thought after everything he'd revealed to her the past few days that he'd cave. She'd tried a little spell, just a little one, no worse than those she used on customers who couldn't decide on buying her paintings, she'd just given him a little nudge to kiss her and it almost worked. _**Almost**_, his lips had almost touched hers when he realised what he was doing and shot off the couch, so she had to pretend to be horrified as well.

If he hadn't pulled away one kiss would have led to another, and another and it wouldn't have taken long before they were in each other's arms and Joanne would have been a faint memory at best.

Sighing she climbed behind the wheel, and began the short drive home. He was too loyal, too much the gentleman, no matter how he really felt until he faced his feelings he'd never give in. He was also guarded; his walls had started to crumble just as hers had years ago but just as she had been wary and cautious then, he was now.

He'd begged her to take him back and instead she'd walked away; and now because he didn't know that she loved him, he wasn't willing to take a chance on searching his own heart without a definite acknowledgement from her.

She'd hurt him so badly when she refused him, that he was obviously determined to marry Lois rather than take the risk of ending up alone.

Pulling into her driveway she got out of the car, walked into the lounge room and sat down. There was only one way she could show him how she really felt, make him admit to how he really felt but she was going to have to hurt him to do it. She was going to have to be brutal and hated herself for the necessity of it, but she was going to make him admit what they both knew was the truth.

She hadn't wanted to resort to this, she didn't want to hurt him but just as he'd tried to make her see sense 8 years ago, she was now going to do the same for him…no for them. It was their future she was fighting for, just as he'd fought and lost 8 years ago, but this time they were both going to win. Once he got over being angry, when he stopped berating himself for everything, they'd be together but to achieve that she was first going to have to be cruel to be kind.

OoO

Clark was stricken. God he didn't want Lana, he didn't want anyone but Lois, Joanne and knowing what almost happened disgusted him. He missed his fiancé but that was no excuse for almost kissing Lana.

He sat back down on couch, and almost immediately heard Lex's jeering voice reminding Superman that he warned him that Clark Kent and Lana Lang couldn't be trusted around each other. Scrubbing his hands over his face, Clark tried to push past the self directed anger and shame to think of how it could have happened. He could swear that he hadn't leant forward, but just beforehand Lana had hugged him and she was still lightly holding onto him when they began to laugh.

He shook his head and sighed in relief, they hadn't almost kissed at all. He'd over reacted to the situation, just like the time he'd felt flustered when trying to get a speck out of Lana's eye and Joanne had walked into the room. She'd known he hadn't been doing anything with Lana then, and he knew that he hadn't tried anything now. He was just more sensitive because she wasn't here and he missed her. His mind flew back to the last time making him smile in remembrance.

They'd come for a visit, his mom was visiting one of her friends for the afternoon, Lois was in town and he was in the barn forking hay when Lana arrived.

"Hi Clark." Spinning around he saw Lana and smiled.

"Hi Lana, mom's not here sorry." He shrugged in apology.

"That's ok, I came over to see you and Lois, is she in the house?"

"No, she's in town, didn't you see her?"

"No, I must have missed her; your mom mentioned that the two of you were coming for a visit so I thought I'd stop in." She quickly lifted a hand to her eye and blinked. "Damn!"

"Did you get something in your eye?"

"Yeah, it's ok. I'll just; damn it hurts."

"Let me look." He tilted her face up but couldn't see anything. "Let's go into the house, maybe I'll find whatever's in there and if not, you can try flushing it out with water." Once inside the kitchen he got her to sit on a stool but when she tilted her face up, he couldn't see anything and bent down to have a closer look.

"I can't see anything; how's it feel now?" He asked lifting his head.

"Sore as hell, can you check one more time maybe it's just an eyelash, if you can't find anything, I'll try bathing it in water, not that that always works." She titled her face to the side, he had a hand under her chin and had crooked his head in the opposite angle and bent down to further examine her eye again when the back door opened and Lois walked into the house.

"Hi, what's wrong?"

He'd let Lana go so fast she'd almost fallen off the stool and he'd had to grab her to keep her upright, then quickly snatched his hands away and turned to give Lois a big smile. The whole episode had taken all of 5 seconds but seemed like the longest 5 seconds of his life.

"Hey Lo, what are you doing back, nothing's wrong. Lana had something in her eye and I was trying to getting it out that's all." His words had rushed out so fast it was a wonder she'd understood any of them.

"Clark stop being an idiot, did you get it out?"

"No, I couldn't find anything."

"Hmm, try flushing it out, just blink your eye open and closed in a glass full of water; that usually gets whatever's in there out." Lois smiled and addressed Lana. "If that doesn't work, more than likely you've scratched the eye itself."

Lana nodded, hopped off the stool, and did as Lois suggested. It had taken a few minutes but eventually whatever was in there came out. While they chatted over coffee and cake he thought of what to say to ensure that Lois knew the situation she'd walked in on had been totally innocent.

"Lo I really was trying to get something out of her eye, nothing was going on I swear." He said quietly the moment Lana left. It had only been two weeks since their fight after the Oliver debacle and he wasn't taking the risk that she'd think he and Lana were up to their old tricks.

"Ok." She smiled, nodded, grabbed her purse and headed for the stairs.

He'd quickly intercepted her and hugged her tight. "Lo I promise, you know that I don't want anyone but you." When he felt her tremble he became worried, scared that she was angry or upset.

"Clark I said ok." Lois repeated but he heard the tremulous note in her voice and knowing that she was upset he began to rub her back soothingly. "Baby you know that I love you, I'd never try anything with Lana or anyone else." He buried his face in her neck and quietly assured her. "I'd never do anything to hurt you like that, I'd never do anything that would make you leave me, please Lo; you have to believe me."

She pushed him away and that was when he saw that she was laughing. "Clark Kent, I believe you already."

"You; you do!"

"Of course I do."

"Why?"

"I know what you look like when you're stirred up even a little, and you didn't have that look on your face when I came in." She replied her lips twitching.

"You knew straight away, well why didn't you say anything?" He asked in a plaintive voice.

"I did." She replied simply.

"But how was I supposed to know?" He all but wailed.

"Oh, I don't know, because I said so." She retorted back, rolling her eyes.

"Well yeah, but how else?"

"Clark, our relationship is nothing like the freak show you had with Lana where every little thing had to be explained under dire consequences; do we have to discuss this again?" She questioned scowling.

"Um, no but you have to admit I'm getting better." His arms stayed loose around her waist, subtly keeping her within his circle.

"Better than what?"

"Then when we first started dating." He bent down and kissed her lightly. "C'mon you have to admit I'm getting better, you don't feel the urge to hit me as much anymore."

"That's still up for debate." Lois replied running her hands up his arms.

He grinned and kissed her again, urging her closer, Her arms locked around his neck while his smoothed down back, before one hand snuck one under her top to stroke along smooth skin. When she opened her mouth wider at his coaxing he slipped his tongue inside to flirt with hers, while his hand traced around to the front and up.

"Where exactly is that hand going buddy?" Lois asked dragging her mouth from his and pulling her head back.

"Not far." He smiled and when it settled over her breast he beamed. "Its fine now, right at home in fact." He replied, clenching his hand gently around the globe.

"Is that right, well I think it's taking liberties, you gonna remove it?" She asked lifting a brow in query.

"Not any time soon." His hand slipped up and into the cup of her bra to settle on satiny warm skin, allowing his fingers to lazily stroke over the nipple.

"I thought we agreed no sex at the farm unless we're alone."

"We are alone and we're not having sex…yet!" His free hand slipped down to her bottom "But mom's not home so we should make the most of the time we have."

"Forget it, the last time we tried that you're mom came home sooner than expected and almost caught us." Lois replied suppressing a shudder.

"That was only because you distracted me." He nodded virtuously, slipping both his hands to her waist trying to lead her to the stairs.

"No!"

"C'mon Lo, no one's here, just us." He enticed bending down to kiss her neck. He knew her hot spots and that was one of them. "We can spend a lazy Saturday afternoon making love."

"No." He knew she was caving, that no had definitely been half hearted at best. Kissing from her neck to her ear; he grasped the lobe gently with his teeth, sucked tenderly and knew he'd won when she all but purred.

His mom didn't come home until late evening and they did spend most of the afternoon making love, taking short naps and making love again. When she fell into a light doze he held her close, his hand softly running over her arm and tummy, while he marvelled that after loving her for so long that she was with him.

She didn't love him, but the way she made love with him, talked to him, laughed with him, behaved with him; he'd never had anyone say they loved him who treated him like she did. He felt treasured and of worth.

From the moment he saw her in Perry's office when he came back from travelling he knew that she was his. From the moment she agreed to date him, he knew that he'd never let her go. When she tried to break up with him, he didn't waste time playing nice or being a gentleman, he seduced her then talked her into staying with him. If Oliver had stolen her, he would have done everything he could to steal her back, and wouldn't have stopped until she was with him again. She was his, he was hers and he wouldn't let anyone take her from him, or come between them.

Curling around her, he hugged her to him and when she opened her eyes and turned to give him a sleepy smile, he'd kissed her slowly and deeply. "Thank you for trusting me before."

"It didn't take any effort."

"You've always trusted me with other women; even knowing that some of them throw themselves at Superman, you've never been suspicious or doubted me, have you?" When she shook her head, he tilted his own and asked curiously, "Why? It's not that I'm not grateful for it, but Lana used to question me about everything." He said wryly. "Yet you've never done that even once, so why?"

"Well firstly I'm not Lana." Lois said sardonically. "But let me break it down for you. When we're at work we're usually together; when you're off doing Superman stuff it's kinda newsworthy so I know where you are; when we're of the clock you become Mr Grabby hands and usually try to get me naked, but apart from all that, I just trust you." She titled her head and grinned. "There have been the odd occasions when Superman disappears of the radar so you could be cuddling up with someone else I guess…" Her eyes narrowed "You bastard is that what you've been doing?" She asked wrathfully her eyes alight with laughter.

"My hands aren't grabby." He protested loudly.

"That's the part you fixate on?" When he nodded she laughed "Then yes they are, how long was Lana gone before you decided to get me into bed, about 10 seconds right?"

"I was trying to comfort you." When she hooted in laughter he grinned. "Well it started out that way, but it's really your own fault for being so hot."

Her peel of laughter rang through the room, bending down he took her laughing lips with his own; when his head lifted he smiled into her eyes. "I love you baby, I don't want anyone else but I guess you know that too huh?"

"Yeah, I do." She said tugging his head down for another long kiss.

Shaking himself out of his musings, he opened his wallet again, looked at the photo of himself and Joanne and smiled. She was the only woman that he loved and desired and they both knew it. "Sorry Lo, I've been an idiot again; we can laugh about it when you come back."

oOo

Sitting in her kitchen Lana sipped peppermint tea slowly. Tomorrow Joanne would return, well technically Joanne would only return if she allowed it. She knew that tomorrow was the deadline but it was still in her hands, and right now she wasn't sure.

She would bring Joanne back eventually but she'd do it when she was ready, not at a time that had already been pre-determined and she'd bring her back only when Clark was ready to kick her out of his life.

It was so strange to think that right now back there she was worried about Lois; actually considering the time, more than likely right now she was probably having sex with Lex and thinking of Clark. She remembered that every time Lex had touched her she'd felt revolted. She'd hated having his hands on her, touching her intimately, feeling him penetrate her and having to pretend that she loved it.

Shaking herself out of thoughts from the past, she breathed deep. That part of her life was over, it had been over for a long time, but because she'd lost Clark she'd never been able to put it completely behind her.

If she'd trusted Clark just once, that part of her life would never have been and feeling tears slip down her cheeks, she cried silently for the foolish girl who had thrown away such a good man, for such a heartless monster.

Wiping her eyes, she picked up her tea, retreated upstairs and placed the cup on her dressing table before going into the bathroom. She undressed and stepped into the shower, washed her hair and clasping the shower puff, liberally filled it with perfumed body wash and began to run it over her body.

Raising her hand she moved the puff over her neck, across her collar bones, down over her breasts, and torso, her legs and then reached around and ran it over her back, once completely clean she just stood and allowed the water to sluice over her body.

She stepped out of the shower into her bedroom and smoothed on a lightly scented sandalwood/rose body lotion. Right now she needed both the dark, exotic woody aroma of Sandalwood and the calm sedative effect of the rose to soothe her jangled nerves. Applying it to her arms and legs, over her breasts and torso she breathed deep and felt a sense of calm flood her spirit.

Grabbing her hair dryer she bent down at the waist and waving the dryer back and forth allowed the warm air to waft through the wet strands and once dry it was brushed until it lay down her back in a black silky curtain.

Quickly lighting a few scented candles, she picked up her cup of peppermint tea, placed it on the bedside table, switched off the lights, pulled on a silk robe and lay down on her bed with Clark's shirt held securely in her hands.

She wanted to think of Clark, she wanted to banish thoughts of Lex and just think of Clark; for years she'd dreamed about the one time they'd made love and right now she wanted to dream again.

OoO

Lying in bed Clark looked up at the ceiling thinking that this time tomorrow night he'd be lying in bed with Joanne. This time tomorrow she'd be back; his fiancé would have returned and closing his eyes he prayed that he was right.

God he missed her, they'd had time apart before, a few days here or there when one or the other had been away covering individual stories or when he had Superman duties, but that was different, that was when he knew where she was and could call and talk to her or vice versa.

He couldn't wait to talk to her, to look into her eyes and know she was his Lois, to have the freedom of holding her again. Scrubbing his hands over his face, he wanted to smile and cry at the same time, it was nearly over, the nightmare was nearly over.

All in all it had been awful. He still found it truly ironic that 8 years ago none of them had a clue what was wrong with Lois; they'd just hoped that she was alright. It was kind of eerie that she had been here with them all along and they just hadn't known it.

8 years ago Chloe had almost been beside herself, his mom had been worried but was trying not to show it, and the less said about his own behaviour the better. He'd had no idea then just how much Lois' existence was essential to his own happiness and knowing it now made him shake his head in pity at Skipper. He'd wasted so many years, so much emotion on the wrong woman, and it had all been for nothing because he was never meant to be with Lana in the first place.

They still didn't know who was responsible, and he was still determined to find out if only to ensure that it didn't happen again, but hopefully just as Lois had woken up 8 years ago, Joanne would come back to him tomorrow. Once she was back where she belonged, once this madness was over with, he could take his time finding out who was responsible without the added worry that she could be taken from him again while he stood beside her helpless.

Rolling over he picked up his wallet and looked at the picture of them; they looked happy, they were happy and please god, let her come back so they could be happy again.

Putting the wallet down he yawned, stretched and closed his eyes, hoping that just like when he was a child on Christmas Eve the night would soon pass, then all he had to do was get through most of tomorrow before she was back.

OoO

Lois lay in bed looking at the night sky through the window; she was supposed to go back tomorrow; this time tomorrow night hopefully she'd be back where she belonged, back to the familiar. Skipper would still be pining for Lana, but Chloe would be back to her old self and she couldn't wait for that.

She'd loved spending the past few days with her cousin, but couldn't wait to go back to her own Chloe, to experience the 8 years between then and now and then to be back here with older Chloe once again.

She felt faintly ridiculous, after talking with both Chloe and Clark, she had to concede there was no proof that Lana was a meteor fre…um person. Once again she'd let her imagination run wild. More than likely Lana wasn't an evil meteor person, there could be a perfectly innocent reason for all the nut balls being crazy about her or wanting to kill her. Granted she couldn't think of one, but that didn't make her a meteor person, just unfortunate. Lana could be meteor infected or she might not be, but there was no reason to keep on with that train of thought because she couldn't prove it either way.

And so what if Lana hated her, if Lana gave her the willies, big deal, she was a rational person, more than likely Skipper gave Lex the creeps with his animosity over Lana.

Lana was in love with Clark but frankly that was her problem. It wasn't Joanne's nor was it hers but she still felt better knowing she'd written the letter just in case.

Closing her eyes she drifted off to sleep with thoughts that she only had to get through one more day and then she'd be home free.

OoO

Martha drifted awake, turned over and picked up the picture of Jonathan from her bedside table. She still missed her husband, he'd been gone for 9 years and she missed him as much today as she had the day he died. The pain was gone but the ache had never healed, she'd just learnt to live with it.

He had been the man she'd expected to spend the rest of her life with, they'd been happily married for 22 years but it hadn't been long enough, the time had gone too fast.

Tracing his face with her fingers she smiled and hoped that Joanne would come back to them tomorrow. She knew that just as she still missed her husband and would until the day she died, that her son would never get over losing his fiancé; it would be an ache he'd carry for the rest of his life and she didn't want that. All parents wanted their children to be happy and that was what she and Jonathan had always wanted for their boy; but his happiness was tied up in Joanne and if she didn't come back, Martha didn't know how she'd begin to comfort her son.

Placing Jonathan's picture back on the bedside table, she closed her eyes and thanked god that Lois had been sent to them instead of somewhere filled with strangers. She didn't know if whoever had done this had sent Lois to them specifically or by mistake, but she was grateful for it anyway.

OoO

Chloe rolled over to face the back of the couch; then rolled over again, she couldn't settle, tomorrow was 'D' day. They still didn't know a damn thing; how it happened, who'd done it or why, and more, they didn't know how to reverse it.

Hopefully Clark was right and tomorrow evening Joanne would be back, because if she wasn't Chloe didn't know where to start looking for answers. Just as they'd been helpless 8 years before, they were helpless now. Both Lois and Clark's fate was in the hands of whoever was controlling everything and she hoped that whoever it was sincerely hadn't meant any intentional harm.

Punching the pillow, she resettled and hoped that her mind would shut down so she could sleep, and before long she did.

OoO

Sitting in her car Lana looked in the direction of the Kent house. She couldn't see it, the night was too dark and the clouds were obscuring both the moon and the stars but she knew where it was situated and that was all that mattered.

It was almost over; the nightmare her life had become the past 8 years was nearly finished. For the first time since she'd walked away from Clark she felt free, no longer bound by the chains of her mistakes.

From the time her marriage ended, she'd waited and hoped, even expected Clark to come back to her but he never had. When he got engaged she thought that only by changing their past could she win him back, and if Lois had never come, if Joanne had never left, more than likely he'd still be trying to fight against his heart; but while Joanne wasn't here he'd lowered his guard and dropped little hints of his deepest feelings.

These past few days Clark had opened up to her more than he had since the last time he'd declared himself and she rejected him. He'd admitted to only ever wanting to marry her, he'd confessed to having premonitions and feelings of terror and thinking only of her. And today he'd divulged that if Skipper had been here, he would have resented knowing that he was marrying Lois and not her then further reassured her that Skipper would be glad to know that she was free from Lex, that he wouldn't harbour any ill will towards her because of her marriage.

She'd looked into his eyes and read the sincerity there and knew that he was reaching out to her in the only way he felt he could, by talking about his feelings in the past tense or by referring to himself as Skipper. But just as she hadn't listened when he'd tried to warn her about Lex, he wouldn't want to listen to her now. However, they were both older now and her relationship with Lex was in the far past, so the pain and hurt he'd felt as a result of her rejection and subsequent marriage had been blunted, but it wasn't going to be easy.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and contemplated the events she was about to instigate and had to accept that once done, there would be no backing out. She didn't want to back out; she just had to accept that it wasn't going to be easy.

She had two challenges, to make Clark acknowledge and admit the truth and then to reassure him that he wouldn't have to face this on his own. She knew that he'd be wary of the possible repercussions when he broke with Lois, and understood that he'd be hurt knowing that for them to be together, others would be hurt in turn. But she couldn't let him fight this battle or his feelings by himself any longer; she was in this too and he was trying so hard to keep from hurting anyone, but if she didn't do something he would unknowingly hurt everyone. She was going to have to be the bad guy and force him to see and accept that by staying with Lois; by marrying Lois he was condemning all three of them to hell.

He was going to be angry and resistant at first, she expected it, but once he thought it all through, once his initial fury was over, he'd come to understand that what she'd done was for everyone's good, and once the first difficult hurdle was past, he'd be grateful.

Opening her eyes she looked down the road and lifted her eyes in the direction of the barn; she'd been waiting here for hours, it was almost 2.30 in the morning so everyone was fast asleep but she was scared. Until this moment, she hadn't appreciated just how much courage it had taken for Clark to plead with her to take him back. He'd known she was wary, angry and full of resentment and although he didn't feel the same way towards her now, he was happily living in denial and with her actions she was going to rip all that away from him.

Pressing a hand to her stomach to calm the butterflies she firmed her resolve. 8 years ago Clark had been her supplicant and he'd done it in the face of her opposition; she couldn't do any less for him now. She had to show him that just as he had put himself out there for her, displaying his vulnerability that she was willing to do the same thing for him.

She wasn't as bold as Lois, nor did she have Clark's courage, but she did have her own steel. This was going to hurt him and he'd probably hate her for it at first, but she was doing it for them, and was willing to take his initial anger for the eventual joy they would finally have.

The spells she'd cast would circumvent his inhibitions, would lower his natural knee jerk refusal, and would also keep him in a deep sleep that he wouldn't wake up from until the following morning and lastly it would give him the delusion that she was Lois, that the body he was feeling and touching was Lois'. He would need that, because until he accepted the truth, he desperately needed a lie that he could live with.

She didn't like the necessity of it, she'd far rather he know it was her but she needed an edge, because just as he'd done when she tried to get him to kiss her earlier, he'd fight against it thinking he was being unfaithful. She had to give him no option other than to wake up to the truth. If she didn't do this, he would never let himself confront his deeply buried feelings until he married Lois and utterly ruined all their lives.

This would be the only time she'd ever play tricks on his mind, it would be the only time she'd ever need to. This time tomorrow night it would all be over, she and Clark would finally be back together again, curled up together in her bed…no, their bed after making love.

Opening the car door, Lana climbed out, turned the flashlight on and began the long trek down the road. The moon drifted out from behind the clouds lighting the way, almost as if giving its approval. She stopped outside the barn, took a deep breath, went inside, up the stairs and over to the bed to look down at the sleeping occupant.

The moon's light was pouring in through the window and made the barn look beautiful, almost unearthly. The night air was a little chilly but Clark didn't feel the cold and she would soon be warm so it didn't bother her at all.

He looked so wonderful, so handsome, the slight smile on his face made her feel as if he'd been waiting for her to come to him; as if he knew she was here and was now waiting impatiently for her to join him.

She quietly slipped out of her clothes, her underwear and pulled the blankets back before kneeling down on the mattress. Lifting her hand, she ran it over his hair then cupped his cheek while her thumb rubbed gently over his lips.

Reaching up she removed the clip allowing her hair to rain down, then shook it behind her shoulders so it wouldn't obscure her breasts. He was asleep, he didn't know she was here, but for now she wanted to pretend that he was looking at her with love and desire burning in his eyes.

She'd never had to worry overmuch with exercise and dieting and considered herself lucky. If his eyes were open he would see that she was still slim, her shoulders were narrow and her breasts were uptilted and firm, her hips and waist were small and her stomach flat, then his eyes would follow the natural line to her lower body and onto her well toned thighs. She had nothing to be ashamed about, she had a nice body and he'd already seen it, it was years ago but he'd said that she was beautiful.

Lying down on her side, she let her body rest slightly against his, then lifted up on one elbow and looked down at him. Lifting her free hand she lightly ran it up his arm and across his shoulder, allowing her fingers to graze his neck before laying her palm flat to run it over and down his chest, across his stomach and stopping at the barrier of his shorts.

She toyed with the idea of slipping her fingers inside, but knew that would just be cheating both of them. She wanted him awake and aware and he'd want that too. He'd want to look into her eyes while she touched him, while he touched her, so instead she trailed her hand back up, just letting it lightly brush his skin then gently ran the tip of one finger over a nipple until it hardened. Laying her palm flat again, she let her hand glide down his side and up onto his chest before coming to a stop directly over his heart. God he felt incredible; so powerful and smooth at the same time, she hadn't touched him in years and revelled in the sensation.

Just as she leant down to drop a kiss on his chest, he murmured under his breath catching her by surprise. She snatched her hand back, her eyes flew to his face but finding that his eyes were still closed, she let out her breath in a quiet whoosh before softly placing her palm on his chest once again.

When he shifted and started to turn onto his side, she quickly moved, laying her upper body on his chest, and gently running her foot up and down his leg until he parted them enough to allow her leg to slide in between his.

"Lo? I've missed you baby…"

Hearing those words hurt her heart, but knowing that she'd used magic so that he'd believe she was Lois, she had to accept that in his mind it was Lois lying on him; Lois whose body he could feel and Lois he believed he was caressing. Her eyes closed in rapture when his arms pulled her to lie fully on top of himself; a soft moan falling from her lips at the sensation of her breasts crushed gently against his chest while his hands stroked her back. Running her fingertips gently across his forehead and through his hair, she kissed his throat before lifting up to whisper in his ear how much she loved him.

"God Lois, I love you too, please don't leave me again." When tears started to slip from under his closed lids she smoothed them away, before wriggling to lay her head on his chest but he hugged her to him and refused to let her move away "No…you can't leave me again baby. Please…please Lo."

Once he seemed to realise she wasn't going anywhere his embrace loosed enough that she could slip down to lay her head over his heart. The spell she'd used should have ensured that he stayed in a deep sleep; it had surprised her that he'd woken up even a little, but he'd quickly settled and that was all that mattered.

She knew that when he woke up he was going to be angry, furious at her for doing this, but once she explained that she did it for them; that she'd only done what had to be done to make him face what his heart was fighting, he'd think about it and more than likely brood, but eventually he'd come round and understand that she'd done the right thing, the only thing for all of them.

And tomorrow morning when Lois woke up from the uneasy and restless night's sleep she'd given her, when she sought him out as per the little spell she'd woven; Lois would be reminded that Clark Kent and Lana Lang would never be over and hopefully she'd remember that when she went back.

Closing her eyes she soon fell asleep to the sound of his heart beat and the feeling of his arms wrapped tightly around her.

OoO

Clark felt like he was drifting in a sea of bliss, Lois and he were together but the dream which had started out so real become hazy. When Lois touched him he felt repulsed, her touch felt false, and he began to move away from it but when her breasts touched his chest, when her leg slipped between his, his arms reached out and pulled her onto him fully "Lo? I've missed you baby…"

He stopped and frowned something felt off, he felt unsettled but that couldn't be, it could never be wrong for him and Lois to be together. When she said that she loved him, he let go of his uneasiness, feeling both euphoric and relieved. "God Lois, I love you too, please don't leave me again."

When she began to wriggle away he started to panic, she was leaving, she must have sensed his disquiet, his uncertainty and tightening his arms he held her fast and refused to let go "No…you can't leave me again baby. Please…please Lo." Realising that she wasn't trying to get away from him, wasn't trying to escape he relaxed and let her move so her face could lie on his chest while he held her securely, and sighing in contentment, he let go of his agitation.


	27. Chapter 27

For those of you who are still reading this story after the horror ending of the last chapter, here is the next part. Firstly we're stopping in 2007 (yes unfortunately it's necessary) and then it's onto 2015 where as you can imagine, things could be better.

Linda

oOo

**Chapter 27**

_Day Five: 2007_

Clark opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the picture of Lana's smiling face. He wanted to close his eyes and cling to the last vestiges of his dream but it was gone and once again he was back in reality.

Today was the first day of the rest of his life, how many times had he heard that and how many times had he never given it much thought. This time it ran over and over in his head, today was the first day of the rest of his life without Lana Lang.

He hoped that the pain would ease quickly because he didn't see how anyone could survive it otherwise. But considering they'd broken up months ago and the pain had never gone, and that was when he still believed he could get her back, he thought it unlikely that he'd ever get over the heartache of losing the only girl he had ever and would ever love.

There was nothing he could do, he'd tried and she'd said no, she would soon be married but it made little difference now because she was lost to him anyway. He never should have promised not to approach her again, that had been stupid and fool hardy. He'd only said it because he believed deep down that she would take him back, he was tempted to try again but his parents put great value in a person keeping their word, and he couldn't go against what they'd taught him, not if he wanted to keep his moms respect and his own. His dad was gone but he wanted his father to rest in peace not turn over in his grave because his son couldn't even be trusted to keep his word.

Rising from the couch, he picked up the photo, sped to the loft, put it on his desk, gave it one last look and walked away. He fed the animals and was back in the house having a shower 30 minutes later.

Greeting his mom, he set the table, poured coffee and sat quietly letting his mind stew. Today was the fifth day that Lois was in the Medical Centre. They still knew nothing, the doctors knew nothing; and he just hoped they were right and she wasn't suffering without anyone knowing about it.

"What's on your mind honey?" Martha asked placing a bowl of oatmeal in front of him before taking a seat.

"Lois." Taking a deep breath he asked the question that he didn't want a truthful answer to but had to know. "Mom, do you really believe that Lois is going to be alright?"

"Yes sweetie I do, I think we need to stay positive." Martha's eyes were shadowed; she wanted to believe it and refused to think otherwise.

"Do you think she's suffering, trapped in some nightmare but no one knows and can't help her to get out?" He asked quietly.

"No, if she was the EKG machine would show her in distress, it would show up on her chart and nothing has." Martha replied positively. "I think she's just asleep or unconscious; she will wake up sweetie, I refuse to accept anything else."

"Thank you Mrs Kent." Turning around both saw Chloe standing at the foot of the stairs. Taking a seat at the table she reached over and gripped Martha's hand. "Thank you."

"I'm sorry Chloe; I don't want to have negative thoughts but …." Clark lifted his hand in a shrug and looked down at the table.

"It's ok; you only asked what I've been afraid to, so thank you." She replied quietly taking his hand with her free one.

The three sat silently for a few moments just holding hands, holding strong to each other, before letting go. Martha got up brought Chloe a bowl of oatmeal and once again re-took her seat.

"Why do we only appreciate people when something happens or when it's too late?" Chloe asked rubbing shaking fingers across her brow.

"Unfortunately we take people for granted believing they'll always be in our life. We think we have all the time in the world to make things right and forget how precious and frail life really is." Martha replied quietly.

"Yes." Chloe nodded. "For the past few months I've been almost dismissive of Lois, pushing her away, resentful and jealous of her job with the Inquisitor and now I'd do anything for her to wake up so I could ask her to forgive me."

"You'll get the chance Chlo." Clark smiled in encouragement.

She smiled mistily and replied, "I knew yesterday that she'd be alright, I don't know how, but I just knew. When Lois wakes up she's going to find the old Chloe that she loves, not the one that's been off hand with her; shutting her out and mocking her work. I just hope it's not too late."

"It won't be; Lois will forgive you because she's crazy about her little cousin." Clark returned quietly grinning when Chloe nodded and smiled.

"Are you going to the Medical Centre today Chloe?" Martha enquired.

"For a little while, I don't know if Lois can hear me or not but I like to talk to her, I just hope she knows that I'm there."

"Maybe she does, they say coma patients are aware of what's going on around them, I know she's not in a coma, but still, maybe she does know." Clark replied seriously.

"I like to think so, anyway it can't hurt right?" Chloe said, grateful when they both smiled nodded in return.

"I'd like to sit with her for a while today." Martha put in and as Clark's mouth was full he raised his hand and nodded indicating his desire to do so as well.

"Ok, did anyone want to go first?" As no one showed a preference it was decided that Chloe would go first and then Martha and Clark.

Finishing breakfast Chloe had a shower, changed and headed out to the Medical Centre.

"What are you going to do today sweetie?" Martha asked when it was just the two of them.

"I thought I'd fix the back fence, a number of boards are down, and the last thing we need is for the cows to leave the pasture and begin wandering off down the road." He smiled in rueful amusement.

She nodded in agreement "Ok, well I'll start making lunch, it's not for hours yet but at least if it's ready, we can eat when Chloe gets back and I can leave straight afterwards. Do you feel like anything in particular?"

"No, anything you make is great mom."

Smiling she shooed him out the house and got to work.

OoO

Chloe held Lois's hand and looked at her cousin lying so still in the bed. "Lois, you have everyone's attention, you can wake up any time now." She said quietly squeezing the hand resting in hers and sighing at the lack of response.

"I'd give you all the gossip but there isn't any, well nothing you haven't already heard or know. Clark and Lana are still carrying on, I know that you're more than a little fed up with both of them, but guess what, I am now too." Chloe paused and smiled. "I know you like them, so do I, but I've definitely come to your way of thinking, and consider them both a huge pain in the ass."

"For years you've been trying to get me to give up on Clark and I never could, but I finally think I'm ready Lo. Clark's a great guy, one of the best and you have to admit he's easy on the eyes but I think it's time for me to let my girlish dreams go." She sighed and nodded. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy and I'll probably backslide every now and again, but I've got Jimmy who's crazy about me and I've got you, who'll be more than happy to remind me of what a pain he is, so I think I'll make it."

Letting go of Lois's hand, Chloe stood up and walked over to rearrange the flowers sitting on the side. "I've never told you this, but I've read every one of your stories for the Inquisitor and they're all excellent. The content is out there and really wild, but the stories themselves are first class." Laughing lightly she moved onto the second vase, her fingers began to pull out dead leaves and petals. "I'm thinking of calling you, 'Spooky Lois;' y'know after Mulder. Remember how you used to tease me about the stuff I wrote for the Torch before you came to Smallville and found out it was all true, well Lo, I think you've now got me beat."

Once the flowers were done to satisfaction, Chloe looked around for something else to keep her hands occupied and spying the half empty water jug, picked it up and walked outside to fill it up. Closing her eyes tight she prayed that Lois's eyes had opened in her absence, and pushing the door open re-entered the room. Her shoulders drooped for a moment before she firmed her chin and stood up straight.

"Sorry about that, I just had to get some fresh water. I know you don't need it but I do, talking makes my throat dry." She smiled picked up a glass and filled it before re-taking her seat.

Her eyes strayed from Lois's face to the machines, over the wall and back to Lois again and opening her mouth she continued to make small talk until it was almost lunch time and she departed with the promise to come back the next day, if Lois hadn't woken up before then.

Driving back to the farm, Chloe pulled her car over to the side of the road and rested her head on the steering wheel. Lois was going to be ok; she knew it but wished it would happen soon because she didn't know how much longer she could stand seeing her cousin lying so still in the hospital.

OoO

Stopping the car in front of the house she climbed out and walked up the stairs to the house.

"Hi Mrs Kent, I'm back and lunch smells wonderful, do you need a hand with anything?" Chloe asked greeting the older woman as soon as she opened the kitchen door.

"No everything's done dear, if you could just set out the water glasses and call Clark we can eat and then I'll pop off to the Medical Centre."

Nodding Chloe set out the glasses and walked outside to find Clark in the barn feeding the horses.

"Clark lunch is ready."

"Hey Chloe, I'll only be a few minutes, I just have to finish this up and then it's done." He smiled and nodded. Taking a seat on the bench she sat and kept him company then walked back to the house together.

Once lunch was over, Martha put on her coat, grabbed her bag and had just opened the door to step out when she was halted by Chloe's voice.

"Mrs Kent, can you please get Lois some fresh flowers from me. I noticed the ones in her room are starting to wilt a little but I didn't think to get some new ones." Pulling some money from her purse she handed it over and smiled gratefully when Martha nodded.

"Are you ok Chlo?" Clark asked softly when they were alone.

"I'm good Clark, I really am." Chloe turned and smiled. "Lois is going to be alright, I just know it."

"I'm glad, because between what you and mom said, I think so too." He grinned in reply, pulling her into a quick hug.

"What are you going to do with the rest of the day?" He asked taking a seat at the island.

"Well I thought I'd help your mom out by making dinner, it'll save her from having to come home and start cooking, and it'll keep me busy for a while." She replied taking a seat beside him.

"Need some help?" He asked hopefully.

"Haven't you got anything to do?" She asked lifting her brow in query.

"Yeah, I do, but I think it'll be nice to make dinner together for mom."

"Ok, so you wanna make anything in particular?"

"No, how about you?"

"No." Shaking her head she looked over at him and the two laughed quietly, "Get the cook books."

Once retrieved, they looked through them together deciding what to make.

OoO

Lana sat on the couch in the lounge room of the Luthor Mansion with her eyes closed nursing a cup of coffee. She was glad that Lex wasn't there; that the servants weren't bothering her and that she was finally alone.

She'd had sex with Lex again last night and once again had thought of Clark, and once again hated herself for it. Her head was fighting with her heart and she hated that too. Her head told her she was done with him, that she wanted nothing to do with him but her heart insisted on retaining a small sliver of hope.

Every time she had sex with Lex, her body felt invaded and her heart felt violated, the night she'd made love with Clark she'd been nervous and scared but everything felt right. She remembered every moment, every touch, every sensation, her head wanted to banish all of it but her heart refused to give it up.

Shaking herself out of her stupor, she picked up her phone and called Chloe to ask after Lois, and to find out if she wanted her help or company. Ending the call she felt sadness that there was no improvement in Lois's condition and relief that she didn't have to see Clark.

Today she hadn't gone to the farm on any pretext; she would never do that again, her heart wasn't her boss; her heart could go to hell along with Clark. From now on she would only use her head in any dealings with Clark because from now on, her head was her master.

OoO

"Hello sweetie, I brought you some fresh flowers from Chloe and some from Clark and me." Martha said quietly upon entering Lois's room.

Throwing out the old flowers and arranging the new ones in the vases Martha turned and addressed Lois while her hands kept busy.

"We're all waiting for you to wake up. Chloe misses you, so does Clark although he'd never admit it." Chuckling quietly she shook her head and continued. "The way you and Clark carry on gives me a lot of enjoyment you know. I love to see my son happy and you bring out the joy in him, also the frustration, but that's just your way and I secretly enjoy it."

Once the flowers were done, she went into the bathroom washed her hands, came back poured herself a glass of water and sat beside Lois's bed. "Jonathan and I were so grateful when you came into our lives. You livened things up, made Clark smile and we both would have loved you for that alone, but the truth is, you're an easy person to love." Taking Lois's hand, Martha held it and leant forward. "I don't know if you can hear me or not, but if you can then I want you to wake up. Smallville would be pretty despondent without you around, everyone takes things so seriously but you bring joy and laughter to those around you."

Absently smoothing the hand she was holding Martha quietly spoke. "I've already lost my husband, I don't want to lose the young woman who I've come to love as a daughter." Sitting up straight, she placed Lois's hand back on the bed and picked up the glass to sip.

"Shelby misses you, he keeps whining and looking around wondering where you are; Clark, Chloe and Lana have tried to find out what's happened but they haven't been very lucky." Smiling Martha put the glass back down. "They'll figure it out, they're good at that sort of thing, but if you want to get back at Clark this is the perfect opportunity. You can wake up and tell him thanks for not finding anything; that should stir him up to retaliate." She laughed and patted Lois hand. "You know how much I love to see the two of you teasing each other, it really does my heart good to see Clark focus on something that isn't to do with his heritage or Lana and you do that, you bring him out of himself."

Martha continued to talk, bringing Lois up to date on any events that she could think of little and big that had happened, then moved onto chatting about her work, hoping that today Lois would come back to them.

Driving back to the farm Martha smiled remembering all the things Lois had done for her family, the joy she'd brought them, the help she'd given after the meteor shower, her faith in Jonathan, her abrasiveness and gentleness with Clark. Lois was someone that she could trust implicitly as her aide, another woman that she could talk to, she was young but her conversation wasn't that of a school girl and Martha enjoyed talking with her.

When General Lane called the house before lunch he'd sounded old and scared, he didn't sound like the same confident man that she'd met less than two years ago. Being a general in army, he'd be used to losing men in battle, it wouldn't be easy and he'd take every loss hard, but Lois was his daughter and she knew how much he'd hurt knowing his little girl had been taken from him.

She still hurt over losing her baby, she didn't dwell on it, didn't let it drag her down, and even though he'd barely been bigger than a peanut, he'd existed, and knowing that he'd never had a chance at life still grieved her heart.

When a familiar ache settled over her heart she lifted a hand from the wheel and lightly rubbed her chest, Jonathan had been gone less than a year, and she wasn't prepared for another goodbye, sending a quick silent prayer to the heavens she hoped that Lois wouldn't be taken from everyone who loved her.

OoO

While dinner was cooking Clark left to do some more chores, and Chloe lay on the couch watching TV until she fell into a light doze. She yawned and stretched then sat up and saw Clark sitting in the recliner. "How long was I out for?"

"Well I came back almost 2 hours ago and you were already asleep." He replied slightly amused.

"Sorry, I haven't been getting much sleep lately. Is the dinner alright?" she asked anxiously.

"Its fine Chlo, mom's on her way back, so I'll head over when she returns."

She nodded in agreement "What's the time?"

"Almost 4.30."

"They won't let you stay for long, they'll kick you out at dinner time whether she's unconscious or not. They have their routine." Chloe said in irritation.

"Well it only takes me a few seconds to get there, so I can spend at least an hour or two." He shrugged. "I would have gone earlier but I wasn't comfortable leaving you here alone."

"Clark I'm fine." Chloe protested.

"I know and I wanna make sure you stay fine. I sure as hell wasn't leaving you here alone, asleep and defenceless when we don't know what's happened." He replied flatly.

Grateful for his consideration, she smiled and shook her head. "You just can't stop yourself from being a hero can you?"

"Cut it out." He blushed. "Tell you what, you wanna be a hero, make me a cup of coffee."

"Sorry, did you want me to be your hero or your servant?" She asked amused, rising from the couch.

"Well I saved dinner and set the table and you can't tell me you weren't going to make yourself a cup." He laughed getting up and following her to the kitchen.

"Thanks Clark." At his questioning look she gestured and explained. "For staying I mean." He nodded and smiled.

OoO

Clark quietly entered Lois' room, closed the door, walked to her bedside and grasped her hand. "Hi Lois, I know that mom brought you some flowers from both of us and you have some from Chloe too, well I got you something as well." Reaching into his pocket he held up a candy bar. "I bought you some chocolate, I think that'll get you up faster than a bunch of posies." He smiled and placed the candy bar on the bedside table.

"Chloe said that she talks to you, so I thought I'd try it as well, the way I figure it, if anything will wake you up it's having to listen to me rattle on." He paused and smirked, "In fact I'm gonna talk your ear off about the price of corn, worming farm animals, killing a goose for dinner, all kinds of stuff you hate so that you'll open your eyes and yell at me to shut the hell up."

Taking a seat beside her he looked at her face, and couldn't get over how peaceful she looked; if she wasn't in the Medical Centre he wouldn't think that anything was wrong.

"I'm sorry that we haven't found out what's done this to you." He stopped and rubbed the side of his face. "To be truthful Chloe and I don't know where to look next, she had some good ideas but so far we haven't come up with anything."

"Lois, I owe you an apology, when Chloe asked me to check on you that first morning, I thought she was worrying for nothing but I was wrong." Sighing he got up to pace then stopped and turned back to address her again. "I'm sorry Lois, the first day when I found you, when I thought you were just sleeping in, I kind of got annoyed and was going to tell you off for wasting my time tracking you down."

Returning to his seat he picked up her hand, and squeezed it gently before laying it back down again. "I know we fight and argue but…and I'd never say this if you were awake because I know you'll give me a hard time, but I've kinda missed you the last few days."

He smiled. "If you don't wake up, I'll tell everyone about the lap dance you gave me, I'll tell everyone about the sailor outfit you wore." He leant forward and whispered quietly, "I've got heaps of stuff on you Lane, heaps and heaps of blackmail material that you'd hate to get out to the general public."

"I'll tell everyone that you want me bad, that you're crazy about me, that every time you get possessed you can no longer hide your real feelings and come onto me." Grinning he held up his hand and lifted his fingers one by one. "Let me see if I can count the ways, when you were a witch, when you conned me into taking you to the prom, when you wore the redK lipstick." Chuckling he shook his head. "Oh yeah Lois, I've got plenty on you, just think how much you'd hate that stuff to come out, so if you want it to remain our little secret, you'd better wake up."

He sat back, poured a glass of water and left it to sit on the bedside. "From the moment we met all we've mostly done is argue, but I'll tell you something Lois, I don't mind arguing with you so much." Picking up the glass he held it, then put it back down again, "You keep me on my toes, I never know what in hell your gonna say or do next but I can say that you're never boring, I don't think you even know what the word means."

Leaning forward he grasped her hand again and spoke quietly with an edge of expectancy "We all believe that you're gonna to be alright, so please Lois, for once in your life don't be contrary, prove us all right."

Letting go of her hand, he sat up straight and as threatened, began to talk about what it took to run a farm smoothly, moving from one subject to another, until the nurse told him that he had to leave until after the dinner hour.

Driving back to the farm he thought about Lois, when thoughts of Lana entered his mind he pushed them away. All day when he was doing the chores, helping Chloe with dinner, sitting and watching TV, anytime Lana had entered his mind he'd pushed the thoughts away.

Today was the first day of the rest of his life, and as he had to get used to the fact that Lana was lost to him, today was the first day that he had ruthlessly suppressed any thoughts of Lana Lang and he hoped that he could keep doing it until the pain was finally gone.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

_Day Five: 2015 _

Lois opened her eyes looked at the clock and groaned, it was just on 5am, she shouldn't be awake this early it was still a little dark out, not much but a little. Rubbing her eyes, she sat up and hugged her knees.

She didn't know how much sleep she'd gotten the previous night but it didn't feel like any. All night she'd tossed and turned, opened her eyes and looked at the ceiling, mentally yelled at herself to get to sleep and nothing worked.

Pushing aside the bed covers, she got up, grabbed some clean underwear and headed to the shower. There was no point in lying in bed, sleep was elusive but maybe a shower would help to clear away the cobwebs.

Once back in the bedroom she dressed, dried her hair and sat down. She needed to talk to Clark, and mentally ran through what she wanted to say. The last few days she'd seen a side to Clark that she'd never expected. He'd changed; he was Clark without the Lana baggage. She felt mean for not telling him that she wasn't going to interfere in his and Joanne's relationship, and after the tongue lashing she'd given him the first day, and the less than subtle way she'd tried to throw him at Lana together the second day, the least she could do was tell him that she'd her changed mind.

He'd been honest with her, he hadn't tried to make excuses for behaving like a moron over Lana, so she'd let him know that although she was still uncomfortable with his and Joanne's relationship; she wasn't going to interfere, nor try and change anything.

It was so strange to see Clark act and react with Lana in a way that was the total opposite of Skipper. He was completely oblivious to the woman's attentions and didn't seem to be even a little tempted to try and get her back. The whole time she'd been here, his focus had either been on her or on his relationship with Joanne, and although it made her feel awkward, she had to concede that his feelings appeared to be genuine.

It was hard to get used to, only a few days ago Skipper had been crying on her shoulder about Lana, so the abrupt change was difficult to accept but he didn't even act like Skipper so that made it easier. Not easy but easier.

Standing up she made her way down the stairs and out the house towards the barn, then loitered outside. She didn't feel comfortable going to the loft where he slept, he may not even be sleeping, farmers woke up early, and after living on a farm most of his life he'd be used to waking up with the cock crow, so he might not even be in bed but she still felt a hesitance to enter.

She hoped to hell he wasn't dreaming and woke up thinking that she was Joanne, but just in case, she'd stand well back from the bed and call out to wake him up. Walking over to the fence, she dug out the cigarettes she'd tucked in her pocket and lit one up hoping to kill a little time.

The coming conversation was going to be hard; when she landed here it was clear in her mind that he loved Lana and always would, and if he did still feel that way then he was a hell of an actor. But if he knew Joanne as well as he said he did then her approaching him so abruptly shouldn't be a surprise, he'd be used to her blunt, no nonsense speaking style and would more than likely be amused.

The last few days Chloe, Martha and Clark had all given her glimpses into his relationship with Joanne and it was getting easier to see. That was what scared her, knowing that one day he would be the man that she'd want to marry. She'd never wasted time thinking of the future, had never imagined who she would marry, but if asked, would never have considered him a possibility.

The only person who hadn't told her about Joanne's relationship with Clark, who hadn't even tried to address it with her had been Lana. She wondered if Lana would be nice, or snide, or would she subtly try to make them sound like the most ill suited couple that had ever existed. She was interested in how Lana would describe them, and decided to ask her later in the day.

Dropping the cigarette and grinding it under her heel she turned back to the barn, mentally girded her loins, took a deep breath and walked into the barn and up the stairs to the loft. With each step she recited her opening line then stopped dead a few feet from the bed.

Shaking her head she let out deep sigh, her face went through a number of changes from startled, to disappointed, and finally resigned.

This she hadn't expected, it was almost 6.30am so she'd hoped he'd be awake but had been prepared to find him asleep, what she hadn't counted on was to find him with company. Well this explained why he was still in bed; he'd obviously gotten as little sleep as she had the previous night but for a vastly different reason, she inwardly scoffed.

Turning on her heel, Lois quietly trod down the stairs and back to the house. Making as little noise as possible she opened the kitchen door, made her way up the stairs and into the bedroom, wrote a quick note, retrieved a jacket, purse and car keys and crept back down to the kitchen. Propping the note on the kitchen table she walked outside, climbed into her car, switched on the ignition and drove.

Once out on the road the music was switched on and tapping her fingers in time to music, she enjoyed the fresh air and the feeling of being alone on the road so early in the morning. When the water tower came in sight, she pulled over, slung her purse sideways across her shoulder, stepped out of the car, climbed to the top of the water tower and made herself comfortable. Digging around in her purse she tapped out a cigarette, lit it and thought about all she'd learnt since coming here to the future, culminating in what she saw this morning.

This was her fifth day here, on the first day she'd sat up here and contemplated everything Clark had told her about his relationship with Joanne and thought that it had to be a bunch of bull. Today was supposed to be her last day here and once again she was sitting on top of the water tower but this time instead of just being angry and resentful she felt a number of different emotions.

She was angry and insulted on Joanne's behalf and disappointed on her own. If Clark and Lana had only gotten back together the previous night, surely he could have waited to talk to Joanne first. She was due back today; would it have killed them to wait a few more hours? They weren't animals, it wasn't like the mating instinct was calling out and Clark had to impregnate Lana before any other comers.

Why hadn't they gone to Lana's house? Her bedroom had a far more fitting atmosphere than the loft, then again the two of them had history in the loft so they probably decided to relive the great old times; all while feeling perfectly safe. It was early morning, Lana's car wasn't parked outside, she hadn't even seen it until she passed it on the road, and if she hadn't gone to talk to him no one would have been any the wiser.

She wanted to believe that they'd only gotten back together the previous night because if she was wrong, if they had been screwing around all along, then that just made them pond scum, and her an idiot for not seeing it sooner.

She felt like a fool, she felt like a brainless moron for letting go of her scepticism and finally believing him when he spoke about his love for Joanne, and had to take a deep breath to calm down.

Letting out a heavy sigh, she delved deep into her feelings and realised that she wasn't angry at him, she was angry and disappointed in herself for believing in him. She didn't doubt that Lana had been the instigator but he was a man, hell he was Superman, he could have said no, he could have held her off or flown away but he'd obviously done neither.

She'd let Clark tell her what happened and sincerely hoped for both their sakes they hadn't been cheating all along; she wouldn't put up with anyone hurting Joanne like that. But for herself right now, she didn't feel wounded; she wasn't hurt or anguished, she was disheartened and angry but had to concede that it was mostly bruised pride. She felt like she'd been had and no one liked that feeling, but this turn of events had at least given her the chance to get out of an engagement that she'd never wanted in the first place.

She had initially planned on trying to go back with her memories to change things anyway, at least now she had good reason and not just selfish ones. When she'd told Clark the first day what she wanted to do, he'd looked like a kicked puppy, which in turn made her feel like an animal abuser; not that it had changed her mind at the time but she had felt bad. Now, she had no such reservations.

Thinking of all the things he'd said about his relationship with Joanne, she knew that he had been sincere. He cared about Joanne, hell more than likely he loved her in a way but not enough to let go of Lana. It seemed that no matter who Clark became involved with he'd never turn from Lana, and she was heartily grateful that she wasn't like Chloe or Alicia or any other girl that had fallen for him only to have her heart stepped on.

Despite Lana's intense hatred of her, all she could really feel in return was pity. Lana had Clark back, he was hers again but it wouldn't be enough to satisfy the woman for long. Unfortunately Lana only ever desired that which wasn't hers; she was like a child who preferred to break a doll rather than let someone else have it.

How many times had Clark tried to break free of Lana, how many times had he been enjoying other people's company and like clockwork, Lana would come around dragging Clark's attention back to herself. Even when she had boyfriends, she didn't turn to them; she hauled her bag of problems to Clark, dumped them on him, made him feel like a hero for saving her, and once it was all over and she'd claimed his attention again, she dropped him flat but came around often enough to ensure her little pet hadn't broken free.

She couldn't even be angry at Clark anymore, she felt too sorry for him. He'd never be free of Lana. He must have thought he'd gotten over his fascination for her; he must have thought he'd beaten the odds and made a new life for himself with Joanne, but Lana had sucked him into her black hole once again, and like a sheep to the slaughter he'd gone willingly.

She wished that he'd waited for Joanne to return; talked to her before running back into Lana's arms but it was too late for that. She didn't expect their relationship to last, he wasn't going to be happy long term any more than Lana was; but frankly that was their problem, it wasn't hers.

At least they'd gotten back together before Joanne married him, and thinking of that she shuddered imagining the god awful situation Joanne had barely escaped from; a husband who would quickly come to regret his marriage, a husband who became irrationally jealous when Lana found someone else, or a husband's former girlfriend hating her from sheer spite.

Why the hell did Joanne get involved with him, she must have known that getting involved with Clark was a one way ticket to stupidville. She must have known that he'd run back to Lana sooner or later; he always did.

Only a couple of days ago she'd thought of how she'd never been enough for any man, they chased her and once caught, they walked away. She hoped Joanne remembered that, she hoped Joanne had guarded her heart then at least although she would be hurt, the pain wouldn't be crippling.

If all she'd heard was true and Joanne really loved him, she was going to hurt big time but ultimately she wouldn't allow it to ruin her life, Chloe would be another matter; her cousin wouldn't forgive him for hurting her, and his mom would be bitterly disappointed in him.

She didn't want that; Clark loved and needed his mom, he'd wither under her disappointment and Chloe was a mainstay in his life, they'd been friends for a long time. Even being with Lana wouldn't be enough to stop him from hurting if he lost those he loved. Joanne wouldn't want anything to do with him, but neither would she be so petty and vengeful that she'd be happy to see him cut off from the people he loved and needed either.

She couldn't believe that a few days ago she was certain that Joanne and Clark had only settled for each other, and now she was worried about Joanne's heart being crushed by Clark Kent. Lois Lane and Clark Kent, what idiot thought those two names should ever be linked together romantically?

If she could just find a way to keep her damn memories no one would be hurt and no one would be disappointed because Joanne and Clark would never have been together in the first place.

If she could do it, the moment she was back in the past and out of the Medical Centre, she'd drag Lana to the farm, sit her on the couch next to Clark and tell them both everything and couldn't help chuckling when she imagined the look of horror on Clark's face at finding out he was engaged to her in the future. That would certainly get him on his knees begging Lana to take him back quick smart and Lana would absolutely hate knowing that Clark wanted someone other than her; she'd throw herself into his arms before the guy even had a chance to get off his knees.

Playing cupid really wasn't her cup of tea, but this was for the betterment of three people's lives; one of which was her own. Looking at her watch she was surprised to find she'd been sitting on the tower for well over an hour and climbing down, got back into the car and drove into town.

She parked the car went into a café had some breakfast and thank god it was a school day when she saw the library was open. If she wanted to try and find some way of retaining her memories the library was her best bet.

Finishing her breakfast she went into the library and researched everything she could find about memory and time travel. What she found was a whole lot of crap that was of no use to her whatsoever.

Apparently it was unknown whether the laws of physics would allow time travel. And according to her research she needed a time machine to be able to travel either backwards or forwards in time. Yeah that was really helpful, she was proof that the damn laws of physics didn't mean squat. She was here and didn't need a time machine to accomplish it either.

The only thing she could find on memory was some very helpful and useful techniques to help her improve her memory. Nothing that would allow her to keep her memories when she travelled back in her nonexistent time machine to her life!

SHIT! Shit, shit, shit. Checking her watch she found it was almost 11am and after checking her phone found three messages, two from Chloe and one from Clark. She wondered if Chloe and Martha were privy to what happened and were hoping to offer her comfort, or if they just wanted to know where she was. She figured Clark wanted to tell her about him and Lana.

Well she'd better call and if need be, remind them that she didn't need comfort but they might want to keep it on tap for her when Joanne returned. She walked out of the library, sat in the park across the street and dialled Chloe's number.

"Hey Chlo, it's me."

"Lois, where are you?"

"I'm here in Smallville, I was in the library."

"What are you doing there?"

"I couldn't sleep very well last night and woke up early this morning so went for a drive and ended up here. I did leave a note, didn't anyone see it?"

"Yeah we did but you've been gone for hours and we were getting worried."

"I'm fine Chlo, I promise. Look Clark also called; did he want to know where I was too?"

"Not really, we've had a bit of a...umm… you know what, here's Clark."

"Hey Lo."

"Hi, what's up?" She nearly snickered when the words popped out and quickly pressed a hand against her mouth to suppress her snort.

"Nothing, we were just worried about you. When are you coming back?"

"Chloe said that I woke up late evening in 2007, so I'll be back around one o'clock; I don't intend to be anywhere but at the farm long before anything's supposed to happen, ok."

"Ok, do you want some company?"

"Clark, I'm fine. I'm right here in Smallville so it's not like I'm far away but if I start to feel funny, y'know light headed or anything, I promise to call, ok?"

"Ok Lo, but well….umm I really need to talk to you, it's important."

"Important as in the worlds gonna end important, or important in that it can wait until I get back important?"

"It can wait but…"

"But what?"

"It's about Lana."

"What about her?"

"Well you see she… god….look don't worry, I'll tell you when you get back alright."

"Ok bye."

She didn't know what to try next, the library hadn't been helpful so how was she supposed to remember anything? She could try magic, apparently that was what brought her here, but the thought made her uncomfortable. Whether she was here by accident or design, magic seemed an unreliable not to mention dangerous tool to try and use, especially since she couldn't even be considered a novice.

She wasn't even a novices' novice, she was less than a beginner and would more than likely end up turning herself into a frog. And being that she was in Smallville; if she tried to use magic more than likely she'd end up becoming a mutant frog. Scowling at the thought she decided that magic was not an option.

Wanting to have a break from all of it, she went back to the café had a coffee and muffin, then went to the park to smoke while her mind churned, turning everything over, putting the pieces one way and then another, trying to find any loophole that could help all of them.

OoO

Clark loved waking up with Lois lying on top of him, beside him, to feel her breasts against his chest, her legs entwined with his and to have her cuddled up into him. It seemed like years since he last held her.

His forehead crinkled and his eyes twitched, something felt wrong, felt….off, refusing to give into his building unrest and not yet ready to wake up, he pushed his head deeper into the pillow.

He lifted one hand and ran it over her hair, stroked up and down her back a few times and lazily rubbed her bottom before bringing his arm back up to wrap around her waist and cuddle her closer. She wiggled and pressed down against him burying her face deeper into his neck in return. He had the strangest feeling of obscenity, he wanted to shove Lois away from him, keep her far away, and shaking his head against the pillow tightened his arms instead, when she moaned in distress he loosened his hold but wouldn't let go.

His subconscious kept yelling that something wasn't right, that Lois felt…odd, she didn't feel like herself, but he'd been without her too long and deciding to worry about it later, he lazily rolled her under him, nuzzled her neck and kissed her. When his lips met hers, he came fully awake, his eyes flew open and he rolled off the mattress onto the floor.

Lana, here in his bed! He looked down and was grateful he was wearing his boxer shorts, he knew nothing had happened between them but was thankful for the covering, however, brief it was. He and Lois never slept with clothes on, and right now he was glad that he'd taken to wearing his shorts while she wasn't here and he was relegated to the loft.

Lois, oh god Lois, she'd never forgive him for this, NEVER! He knew that something was wrong but he'd ignored it, pushed it away. He hadn't wanted to wake up, he'd wanted to stay in his dream of being with her again, and now when Lois came back, she'd be hurt to know that he couldn't even tell the difference between her and Lana.

He could feel rage building overshadowing his despair and quickly reached over, picked up his clothes and put them on, then gathered Lana's clothes, threw them on the bed and decided it was time to wake her up. Just as Lois would never forgive him, he'd never forgive Lana.

He called her a few times but refused to get nearer to prod her awake. He couldn't stand to remember that she'd been lying on top of him, that he'd held her while he slept and touched her so intimately thinking that she was Lois. He felt violated at the thought that she'd gotten into bed with him when he was asleep and vulnerable.

All he wanted was the truth of why she did it and then he intended to kick her off the farm and out of his life.

She whispered his name and the way she said it let him know exactly what she was dreaming. Suppressing a shudder he called her name louder, she opened her eyes and gave him a soft sleepy smile. "Good morning."

"Get up and get dressed. You and I have to talk." He walked over to the couch, and sat down.

A few minutes later she came and sat down next to him, he stood up, walked over to the window, folded his arms across his chest then turned around to face her. The look on her face wasn't one of remorse or shame, it was love and for the first time he saw it. Everything she'd been hiding was there for him to see and he regretted that he'd been so blind for so long.

"Clark, breakfast is ready." Chloe called from below and he was thankful that she couldn't see them from where she was standing.

"Not now Chloe, I'll be in later."

"Is everything alright?"

"No… look I'll talk to you later ok?"

"Ok, umm I thought you might want to know that Lois isn't here."

"What'd you mean, where is she?" He raced down the stairs and over to Chloe.

"No need to panic, she left a note saying she was going for a drive and she'll be back later. Now can you tell me what's wrong?"

"No and Chloe please, I don't want either you or mom here right now ok. I'll talk to you both later alright?" He gave her a small smile hoping that she wouldn't question him; he just couldn't deal with it right now.

"Ok." After patting him on the arm, she smiled and left.

He stood where he was for a few minutes, but kept an ear on Lana the whole time. She didn't come down and couldn't leave without him knowing but if she tried to leave he'd track her down. He wanted this finished. Before this morning he didn't know that she loved him, but her face, her voice when she said his name was a dead giveaway.

She'd been hiding how she felt and he didn't know whether he was blind, stupid or insensitive; all he did know was that regardless of any feelings she had for him, regardless of their past or their years of friendship; if he lost Lois because of this, he'd hate Lana for the rest of his life.

He slowly walked back up the stairs to find her sitting just where he left her. She turned and smiled at him and all he could think was that at one time he would have given anything for a smile like that from her, and now all he wanted to do was to smack the smile of her pretty face.

"Lana what the hell did you think you were doing? Why did you do it?" His voice was quiet and controlled, but the force of his anger couldn't be hidden and he didn't care.

"I love you Clark." She said softly, gracing him with a small smile.

"You love me, so you think that entitles you to try and ruin my life!" He asked incredulous.

"I would never do anything to hurt you." She said reproachfully.

"Then why did you get undressed and crawl into bed with me? You know that I'm engaged to Lois, that I LOVE LOIS!" He growled not in the mood to try and smooth over hurt feelings.

"Clark I know what you're going through, I've been there." Lana said quietly, the small hope that he wouldn't be angry faded. She'd expected it, but it hurt just the same.

"Been where?" His forehead creased in confusion.

"Where you are now." She calmly stated. "When I was engaged to Lex, you tried to stop me from marrying him but I wouldn't listen, remember?"

"What the hell does that have to do with this?" He paced over to the desk, folded his arms and safely kept his distance. He didn't want her anywhere near him and couldn't trust himself to be near her. Right now his self control was tenuous and he was afraid of what he'd do. When Oliver had tried to steal Lois, he thought that he'd reached the height of his anger but now found that there was still more to be tapped. Breathing deeply through his mouth he held himself in check and clenched his hands tightly to stop himself from grabbing Lana, and shaking her to within an inch of her life.

She could see the rage in his eyes, on his face and could hear it in his voice. She'd hoped that he would understand without making her say it, that he wouldn't force her to hurt him further by revealing Lois's perfidy; but she'd anticipated his anger, his stubbornness and had known that this confrontation wouldn't be easy before coming here the previous night.

"Lois is doing the same thing to you that Lex did to me, she's manipulating you Clark; she's trying to keep us apart." Lana got up and advanced towards him but when he began to retreat she sat back down

"WHAT!"

"I've wanted to tell you for the longest time." She lifted her hand then shrugged. "Remember after you came back from travelling the three of you came here together for the weekend." At his nod, "That first night after dinner Chloe, you and I were up here talking in the loft and you said that you liked Lois."

"I said that I loved her." He corrected firmly.

She smiled sadly, "I know you believed you did, I know what that's like, but I thought you'd get over it. When you and Lois started dating, I didn't expect it to last. She's not…she could never make you happy, not really; you're just so much more than her." Lana paused ran her tongue over her lips and quietly explained. "I kept waiting for you to break up, but instead you moved in together and then you got engaged and I felt like I was suffocating."

Tears crowded her eyes and fell down her face. "I felt like I was being buried alive, I love you and knowing that she'd stolen you from me hurt." Pressing her hand against her chest she thumped her fist against her heart. "It still hurts. I now understand how you felt when I was with Lex; before you got engaged I was coping, but from the moment I heard that you were getting married I felt like I couldn't breathe." Wiping her hand across her cheeks she firmed her chin and looked into his eyes. "But after everything you told me the last few days, I knew that you still loved me but this time it was up to me to come to you."

"THIS TIME….WHAT!" He felt like he'd come into the middle of a conversation, the only thing his mind registered was that she thought he still loved her and couldn't understand how in hell could she possibly think that.

"Remember when I was engaged to Lex, you brought me up here and begged me to marry you; but when I said no, you told me that if I ever changed my mind that you'd always be waiting." She paused and shook her head. "I'm sorry Clark, I'm truly sorry. After the things I said, the way I hurt you and walked away I should have realised that you needed to hear me say the words; needed me to tell you that I loved you and wanted you back and I never did."

He stared and kept staring his mind a mass of turmoil, wrath and perturbation; he didn't know what to say and realising that he wasn't going to say anything Lana began to speak again.

"I hate myself for ever letting Lex touch me, I know how much that hurt you, because I feel the same way knowing that Lois has touched you." Her eyes glazed and her chin wobbled. "I've never told you this, but every time Lex touched me, I thought of you, the only way I could get through it was by pretending he was you." She took a deep breath. "And I think that you probably do the same thing with Lois."

When his head shook, she nodded instead. "We were always meant to be together." She quietly stated. "You told me that; you told me that you'd never want anyone else, would never make love with anyone else because I was all that you wanted." She lifted her hand to wipe her eyes again, then looked into his, "It hurts…it hurts so much to know that you….you've had sex with Lois. I want to blame her for it, she's pretty and confident and wouldn't have hesitated to let you know that she wanted you, but ….but she could never have done that if I hadn't driven you away in the first place, if I'd just told you that I loved you and wanted you back."

"I know that you're angry with me, that you probably hate me right now but please just search your heart, your love for me is there. I know how hard it is to face the truth because I've had my own moment of revelation and it hurts like hell but please Clark, just look, you'll find it, it's just been suppressed for so long that…that you don't want to face it." Her voice came out as a whisper. "We've already lost years, we've let other people come between us and I just wanted both of us to stop hurting. I didn't want you to make the same mistake I did and have to live with the consequences."

While she was talking he'd slumped back against the desk unable to speak. Her voice sounded like it was coming from a far off distance and he wondered if this was what an out of body experience felt like. He knew this was happening, he knew it was real, his reality and not a nightmare, he knew that he had to deal with, but right now he didn't feel like he was even in the room. When she grew quiet he didn't know what to say and hoped that she'd finished but when he straightened up she looked at him and began talking again. Her voice and eyes soft with remembrance, reminding him of the past; recounting every detail of his pursuit, the night they spent together, the things he'd said.

She seemed to be stuck in a time warp, convinced that he loved her and Lois was keeping them apart. He didn't know if she was unbalanced or just obsessed with him, but he'd never felt so utterly exposed and obscenely revolted at the same time.

When she finally ran down, he felt utterly drained; emotionally exhausted, she seemed to understand that he needed time to process everything and stood up to leave. When she came and pecked him on the cheek, he didn't bother to turn his face away, just watched her walk out of the barn, down the driveway and get into her car which was tucked away down the road.

He sat in the loft, his mind turning in circles, running over and over everything she said, recalling their past, all the times he'd seen her since coming back, all that he'd remembered of when Lois was in the Medical Centre and finally scrubbing his hands over his face, he got to his feet, walked down the stairs and to the house.

OoO

Chloe and Martha were in the process of making a chocolate and vanilla cake respectively when Clark came into the kitchen. They could see by the look on his face that he was in shock. His face was white, his eyes had a pinched look to them and his mouth was set into a grim hard line. He didn't say a word, just slumped down into the chair at the dining table, looked down at his hands then looked back up with tears crowding his eyes; leaving the cakes they rushed over to him.

"Clark honey, what's wrong?" Martha sat down next to him and took one of his hands in hers. Chloe sat on the other side and rubbed her hand over his arm. A tear rolled down his cheek which she brushed away but when he didn't speak, the two women looked at each other worry clear in their eyes.

"Clark." Chloe nudged.

"Wh…where's Lois, is she back?" He couldn't face Lois just yet; he didn't know how to tell her what happened, he didn't even know if he should. He'd contemplated not telling Joanne but knew that if she ever found out, she wouldn't forgive him. Would she be able forgive him anyway for confusing her with Lana?

"No, she's not back yet, honey what's happened?" Martha quietly pleaded.

"Lana!"

"Lana, what about Lana?" Chloe had never heard him say Lana's name with so much venom before, she never heard him say anyone's name in that tone before and exchanging a look with Martha knew that she hadn't either.

"I woke up and…god." He paused and lifted his hands to his face before dropping them back on the table. "Lana was naked in bed with me."

The two women stared at him in disbelief before looking at each other, when Clark quietly reiterated what happened then Lana's subsequent confession; each knew that the shocked and appalled expressions reflected on each other's face was mirrored on their own.

After Clark grew silent the only sound in the kitchen was the clock ticking, the radio playing and the fridge humming.

Chloe couldn't believe what she'd heard and was not only stunned but disgusted; Lana had crawled naked into bed with Clark when he was asleep, that was really creepy. God if Lois found this out, either Lois, Chloe didn't know what would happen but it wouldn't be anything good.

Joanne would be hurt, that was a given. When you've been intimate with a man for long time and he didn't even know it wasn't you, it would hurt unbearably.

Clark hadn't given any descriptions of what happened when he felt Lana's body next to his but he'd said that she was naked, and having been in a few relationships herself, she knew that when you woke up with the person you love, you want to hold them close, not push them away and had to stop the mental pictures from filling her mind of just what could have happened before he'd realised what was going on.

There was one thing she had to know, as much as it hurt, she needed to know. Not for her own sake, if it was up to her she'd never ask but when Joanne came back, she'd need someone to cry on. Usually she'd turn to Clark, but not this time, and she needed to know just how much she'd have to be there for her cousin.

"Clark, I don't want to ask you this, please believe that. But did you and Lana, before you realised it was her, did you and Lana …" she trailed off, she couldn't, she just couldn't get the words out.

"No, Chloe, nothing like that happened." He said subdued.

"Are you sure? I don't mean to doubt you but…. are you sure?"

"Yes, I promise Chloe, we didn't." He looked into her eyes and she let out a quiet breath relieved that nothing physical had happened between them.

"Ok, ok." She lapsed back into silence, absently patting his hand.

Martha was shocked, admittedly she was biased and thought her son was wonderful but until now she believed that Lana had out grown her teenage infatuation for him. However, after listening to everything Clark said, it didn't sound like love that Lana felt but obsession.

Even though she was angry at what Lana had done and the damage it could do, she couldn't help but feel a stir of pity. Lana was her own worst enemy. She could have done so much with her life, but instead of moving on and making something of herself, she'd clung tight to the memory of a childish love and had blown it out of proportion.

When Clark was a teenager both she and Jonathan kept hoping that he'd finally realise that the Lana he talked about, wasn't the same girl they knew. Lana could be sweet and nice, but she could also be calculating, and neither of them appreciated the way the girl had kept their son on a string, constantly playing with his affections. They loved their son and wanted him to be happy, and both knew that Lana wouldn't give him the happiness that he craved.

From the time he came back and said he was working with Lois she knew that he loved her and she'd been happy that her son had chosen a woman that she loved and heartily approved off. When he and Lois started dating she'd been elated, when he told her that Lois loved him she'd felt almost as exuberant as he did, and when he called to tell her they were engaged, she'd screamed in joy before crying, and afterwards she'd held Jonathan's photo and cried again.

If everything worked out, Joanne would be back with them this evening and now due to Lana's actions, by tonight her son's happiness could come crashing down.

He'd woken up with Lana and she remembered how it felt to wake up with Jonathan beside her, to wiggle closer and feel her husband's arms around her. To feel his body pressed up against hers and considering how Clark and Lois felt about each other, she didn't doubt just how they woke up either. She'd never thought about it, not once, he was her son, her baby but he was also a man who loved Lois fiercely, and she knew their relationship didn't lack passion.

When she heard Chloe speaking, she was relieved that it hadn't been up to her to ask the question that had been burning in her mind and hearing Clark's answer stifled some of her qualms. But regardless, she knew that Lois would find it a betrayal that he hadn't realised that Lana wasn't her. Any woman would be hurt by it and this was going to hurt both of them. Whether they could get past it was another matter entirely.

"This is all my fault; this is all my goddamn fault!" Clark cried before getting up to pace around the room.

"Clark it's not, you can't help how Lana feels, she…"

"You didn't hear her Chloe. She went on and on about how I always used to tell her how much I loved her, would only ever love her, begged her to marry me, promised I'd always wait for her etc etc. God this is what Lois said to me the first morning she was here; and now Lana's saying the exact same thing. If I hadn't made such an ass of myself, if I hadn't …."

Chloe jumped up, ran over and grabbed his hands. "Clark stop it! Just stop please. You and Lana both made asses of yourselves but you moved on. You made a life for yourself and figured out that what you felt for Lana was first love, it wasn't real love. She's not a child anymore Clark but she's still clinging to childish dreams. You are not responsible for that." She implored shaking his hands.

"Chloe's right honey, like Lana you could still be clinging to a teenage infatuation but you grew up; you accepted that your feelings for Lana weren't love, not real love but she hasn't done that." Martha got up, walked to them and slipped her arm around his waist.

"But if I hadn't kept on pursuing her, kept on telling her and everyone else how much I loved her, maybe she wouldn't be so screwed up now." He lamented allowing his mom to lead him to the couch, he sat in the middle; each of the women holding one of his hands.

"Maybe but you don't know that Clark, Lana's used to getting what she wants. Think back, not many people said no to her, so when she didn't meet anyone else, she turned the crush you both shared into some kind of epic love story, complete with a witch who's trying to keep you two apart. Lois is the witch by the way." Chloe teased hoping to get even a glimmer of a smile out of him and it nearly broke her heart when it didn't work.

"I want to feel sorry for Lana, I want to feel something, even pity but I can't; Lois is the only thing on my mind right now, how she'll feel when she finds out. If Lois doesn't forgive me for this, I'll never forgive Lana. As it is, I don't ever want to see her again." He said letting go of Chloe's hand to rub shaking fingers over his brow.

"Clark, Lois might understand." Chloe said hesitantly.

"Would you Chloe, would you understand if your fiancé had slept with another woman and didn't even know it wasn't you that he was touching, caressing. Would you understand?" He demanded as tears began to streak down his cheeks.

"God!"

"Lois knows that I love her, she knows that she's the only woman I want and love but she'll never understand this." That was the thought that consumed his mind; he was going to lose her. For what felt like weeks he'd just been waiting for her to come back and now he dreaded it, because when she did come back he'd have to tell her and see not only the shock but the disgust in her face that the man who claimed to love her, didn't even know when he was in bed with someone else.

"You don't have to tell her, your mom and I won't ever say anything to her Clark."

"I can't lie to her Chloe, not about this."

"I agree, I'm sorry Chloe but I have to agree with Clark on this. Secrets have a way of coming out and if she ever found out it would just hurt her more." Martha said softly.

"I know that you're both right, I just hate the thought of how much this is going to hurt her." Chloe said quietly.

"I know Chlo, don't worry, I know why you said what you did, but I have to tell her." His voice while subdued was full of hope for their agreement on his next suggestion "But…but I don't think I should tell young Lois, she'll never believe it was innocent, I just couldn't stand to see the look of disgust in her eyes."

"Umm Clark, don't you think it's kind of a coincidence that this happened and Lois isn't here?" Chloe put forward softly.

"You think she knows?" His eyes flew to Chloe's face.

"I don't know, but it does seem coincidental that she's taken off on the morning that Lana's in your bed." Chloe shrugged apologetically.

"God!"

"I think Chloe's right dear, she could have just gone for a drive but it does seem …."

"Coincidental?" He sat forward and rubbed the back of his neck knowing they were both right.

"Yes." Martha nodded sadly.

He let his head rest in his hands; Martha ran her hand over his back soothingly while Chloe rubbed his shoulder.

"I've already called and left a message; if she doesn't call back soon I'll call her again ok?" Chloe said in a low voice, sharing a look with Martha over his head.

"Do you think I should go and find her?"

"No, just leave it until we talk to her, if she has gone because of what happened she'll need some time and so do you."

He slumped back on the couch and closed his eyes. "We've been getting along really well the last couple of days; I couldn't help but hope that she was coming around but now…." He trailed of in misery.

Neither woman could think of what to say; and when Clark spoke again their hearts broke anew.

"She told me the other day that ending up with me wouldn't be the worst thing in the world." He smiled cheerlessly. "I thought that wasn't bad considering when she found out we were engaged, she demanded to know if I was the best she could do."

Tears slipped down his cheeks. "She's going to hate me, isn't she?" He opened his eyes and looked at the women either side of him. Martha and Chloe looked at each other then away; Clark put his head on his mom's shoulder and quietly spoke. "She's going to think I'm a liar and a cheat, she's going to hate me."

"You don't know that Clark, she might be upset or confused but …." Chloe's voice trailed off, she wanted to cry but firmed her voice, "She's going back today, and she won't remember anything."

"What if she finds a way to remember Chlo, if she does then it won't make any difference whether she gets Lana and I back together or not." He stopped and swallowed hard. "She'll never give me a chance when she grows up to be Joanne, because she'll think that one day I'll cheat on her with Lana anyway." He shook his head wearily.

Chloe got up, grabbed the tissues and handed a bunch to Clark, and Martha, then pulled some out for herself. She dried her eyes, blew her nose but couldn't think of what to say to comfort him, and looked to Martha for guidance.

"Sweetie when Lois returns tell her everything, don't hold anything back. Lois can be stubborn but she's also a fair person." Martha said looking Clark in the eye. "She'll listen Clark, and if she has found a way to retain her memory, she'll remember what you said and when she grows up to be Joanne, she won't hold Lana's actions against you."

He nodded "I know Lois is a fair person mom, but subconsciously it could be in her mind, and in 8 years time I could be right here wondering why she's never given me a chance."

"If Lois comes back and says that she's found a way to keep her memories, we'll find a way to take them back." Martha said decisively and flushed at the astounded looks on the faces turned to her. "I don't approve of playing with people's minds, it's unethical and rape of a kind, no matter how you look at it, that's what it is; but this wasn't you're fault and I refuse to sit back and watch my son and future daughter in law suffer because of Lana's selfishness."

Martha ran a hand through his hair, and kissed his forehead. She hated what this had done to her son; he looked so dispirited and lost. "Come on sweetie; let me get you something to eat." Martha said, she felt at a loss herself and feeding her boy was the only thing she could think of at the moment.

"I don't think I can eat mom, I feel too twisted up inside." Clark said in a tired voice.

"You need to eat and the clocks not going to move any faster." She said decisively.

When he nodded again, Martha got up and made him breakfast. While Clark ate the women went back to the baking but no one talked, they couldn't think of anything to say. Until Lois called they didn't know just how much damage had been done.

Clark sat pondering the reasons for Lois leaving the farm so early, and didn't try to fool himself; he knew it was because of what happened. Lois wasn't an early riser, if she had gone for a drive; it was either because she'd seen him with Lana or because she wanted to get away for a little while. But considering she could have locked herself away for the day in the bedroom, he thought that she had seen them and was probably now thinking that he'd been lying to her all along.

He wanted to believe his mom was right, but after what she said the first day about him and Lana, knowing that she'd just come from the Clark and Lana soap opera, and would soon return to it, he couldn't help feeling that she wouldn't believe him, and he didn't know if he could bear to see the, 'I knew it all along' look on her face.

If she didn't look like his fiancé, if she looked like her younger self it would have been easier to handle, looking in his fiancé's eyes and seeing no love there the past few days had hurt. Looking into his fiancé's face while she talked about him and Lana, while she schemed to get him back with Lana hadn't been easy, but he'd coped because he knew that if he just hung on, Joanne would be back and this would all be put behind them. But now when Joanne returned, he'd have to tell her.

Joanne trusted him implicitly, he'd tell her that he didn't have sex with Lana and he knew that she would believe him; but what was going to hurt her, the one thing that would injure her the most, was knowing that he'd slept with, held and touched Lana, and never once realised it wasn't her; the woman he'd been living with, sleeping with and loved.

He hated himself for that. He'd always thought that if he lost his sight and sense of smell that he would still be able to pick Lois out from a cast of thousands, he hadn't even been able to pick her out from a cast of one. Her body wasn't even like Lana's, Lois was taller, fuller figured, she had curves, even their own unique scents were different. No matter how much he said he loved her, she was going to doubt him now, she was going to wonder how many other times he'd touched her, pretending that she was Lana.

She was going to leave him and the thought of that twisted both his heart and stomach. He'd beg but it wouldn't make any difference, and knowing how badly she was going to be hurt brought the tears to his eyes again.

Chloe and Martha looked at each other then over at Clark, he was calmly eating his breakfast but his face betrayed his thoughts, it carried both guilt and sadness so painful that it hurt to look at him.

The room stayed silent, all three were anxiously waiting for and at the same time dreading Lois's call.


	29. Chapter 29

I'm sure that e/one's already realised that things are starting to culminate. I know there are a few people who want to know if Clark and the gang find out that Lana is the person causing all the trouble, and my answer is yes eventually. But just to put everyone's mind at ease; although I may enjoy torturing Clark, and yeah I really do take pleasure in making his life hell in return for pissing me off so much with all his Blahna crap. I am a diehard Superman fan, so Clark Kent will ultimately always end up with Lois Lane. That's not to say the road to true love won't be rocky, or that I won't give him a few good hard kicks along the way because yeah I will, but it'll all work out in the long run; trust me.

However, saying that, I don't think I've mentioned this before and I hope that no one will be disappointed but Regression (R) is only the first story in a trilogy. Joanne will come back before the end of R, and Lana will cop an earful from Clark, but although this particular part of the tale will conclude with R, the underlying story thread itself will continue in a somewhat different fashion in each sequel. So please remember my word _eventually_ regarding Lana's machinations all being brought to light.

I have finished writing R and its sequel, and am currently writing the final story in this trilogy. Until recently all three were on Divine Intervention, but they no longer are. A few weeks ago all stories with NC17 content had to be removed, and as my stories always contain smut they're gone. I didn't think to mention it until someone said they searched for R on DI a few days ago without success, so I apologise that you wasted your time. The stories aren't posted anywhere else, or I would point you in the direction of where to find them should anyone have asked.

Eleidch: the Lex/Superman conversation is in chapter 20. I tried to send you a message but don't know if it got through or not, so thought I'd answer your query in here just in case.

Thank you to all for the feedback, I'm glad that people are enjoying this story, or are at least invested in the outcome. I hope that no one is unhappy or upset that this story is only the first in three.

Linda

oOo

**Chapter 29**

After breakfast Clark went outside to tend the animals hoping that by doing some mindless busy work he could stop thinking even for a little while. At 9 o'clock Chloe rang Lois' phone and as there was no answer left another message.

At 10 o'clock Clark tried but as there was still no response he also left a message. All three were sitting down to a late morning cup of coffee when Chloe's phone rang. When she answered and gestured that it was Lois, Clark quickly tuned his ear to hear their conversation.

Lois didn't sound upset, sad or angry. Maybe he'd been stewing over two things when he really only had one problem. Maybe she really had just gone for a drive without knowing what happened this morning. And maybe pigs fly. Lois could hide her emotions better than anyone he knew, her voice sounded fine but if he saw her face, one look in her eyes would tell him the whole story. She was younger but she wouldn't be able to hide it from him.

He was caught off guard by Chloe's next words and was furiously shaking his head when she thrust the phone into his hand.

"Hey Lo."

"Hi, what's up?" He heard the question and the suppressed laughter and knew that she knew.

"Nothing, we were just worried about you. When are you coming back?"

"Chloe said that I woke up late evening in 2007, so I'll be back around one o'clock; I don't intend to be anywhere but at the farm long before anything's supposed to happen, ok."

"Ok, do you want some company?"

"Clark, I'm fine. I'm right here in Smallville so it's not like I'm far away, but if I start to feel funny, y'know light headed or anything, I promise to call, ok?"

"Ok, Lo, but well….umm I really need to talk to you, it's important."

"Important as in the worlds gonna end important, or important in that it can wait until I get back important?"

"It can wait but…"

"But what?"

"It's about Lana."

"What about her?"

"Well you see she… god….look don't worry, I'll tell you when you get back alright?"

"Ok bye."

When he hung up the phone he turned to his mom and Chloe and flatly stated, "She knows."

"What'd she say?"

"She didn't say anything per se, it was more of an expression; but I know Lois, and when I heard her trying not to laugh, I knew."

"What was the expression she used that she found so funny?"

"I …don't worry about it. I just know that she knows."

Martha saw him blush before looking away, and quickly excused herself leaving the two young people alone.

"Clark, what'd she say?" Chloe asked once they were alone.

"She said what's up and then she tried not to laugh."

"She knows. But hey at least she thinks it was funny and didn't start yelling at you, and when I was talking to her she didn't sound angry or upset."

"That's because she thinks I'm with Lana and she's finally gotten rid of me Chloe."

"Yeah, umm did she say when she'd be back?"

"Around 1 o'clock, I'm just going outside. I need to keep busy and keep my mind off the conversation I know is coming when Lois gets back." He got up and went outside.

While doing chores, Clark's mind kept turning over how he was going to tell Joanne what happened and how he could keep her from leaving him because of it. They'd never really had communication problems. They'd had times of misunderstanding, anger and upset but they usually worked things out even if the words had been difficult to hear.

After Lois had asked him to marry her, she'd started to worry. For one of the first times in her life, Lois was actually antsy. She'd start conversations then stop, she hemmed and hawed and he'd begun to worry that she was regretting their engagement. If she was having seconds thoughts he wouldn't insist on keeping her to it, they'd been happy together, he would be disappointed but as long as she loved him that was all that mattered. He'd almost had to drag the words out of her before he found out what was troubling her.

She was curled up next to him on the couch but kept moving around as if uncomfortable; knowing that he couldn't ignore what was troubling her any longer he turned the TV off and decided to take a leaf out of her book and ask her straight. "Lo, you've been edgy for days. What's wrong, don't you want to get married anymore?" When she sat up at his question, he turned to face her and tried to give her a reassuring smile.

He hoped that wasn't the problem but it had to be faced. Lois had always been an independent woman, and if the thought of marriage made her uncomfortable, he'd let her know that he wouldn't hold her to her proposal. But something in him hurt at the thought that she was looking for a way out and finding it hard to tell him.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't sure." She said without hesitation.

"Then what's on your mind?"

"You know that I love you right?" She chewed her lip and looked at him anxiously.

"You'd better after the things you did to me last night." He was relieved that she hadn't changed her mind but now wanted to know what had her in such a quandary.

"I don't remember you complaining, in fact if the noises you were making were any indication, I'd say you were enjoying it more than a little." She licked her lips and sent him a sultry look from under lashes, which caused his heart to pick up speed and hope that she was thinking of ravishing him again soon.

"What are you talking about, I'm pretty sure I fell asleep halfway through. Are you saying you took advantage of me when I was asleep?" He demanded in mock outrage.

"Oh please, I don't remember you snoring but I do remember you moaning, and I think even praying at one point." She laughed raking her short nails down his chest.

"I don't snore." He responded weakly.

"How do you know, you're asleep?"

"Ha, well now that you've conveniently tried to change the subject, are you going tell me what's wrong." His hand reached out and began to play with her hair.

"Nothing, it's just that…. It's nothing really."

"Lois!" He thought if he put a bit of Superman authority in his voice she'd open up, he should have known better.

"Do you know that's almost the exact same tone you used last night when I was holding off? It's a huge turn on." She dimpled at him.

"Lo, please tell me what's wrong." He asked squeezing her neck lightly before bending down to drop a kiss on her lips.

"Ok, it's just, the night we got engaged; you said that soon I'll be your wife …Lois Kent…." She trailed off, looking flustered.

"And." he encouraged.

"And I've worked really hard making a name for myself as Lois Lane and I don't wanna change it. I'm sorry I know that you want me to take your name, and I will on all the official documents but I want to stay known as Lois Lane." She shrugged apologetically.

"Baby, if you want to keep your name it's fine with me. I love Lois Lane, I'm just happy that you wanna marry me. That's what I care about, not what name you go by." He said with complete sincerity.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I'm sure. You can call yourself Minnie Mouse for all I care." He replied relieved that that was the only thing troubling her.

"Thanks Mickey." She gave him a relieved smile, plastered herself against him and took his mouth in a deep hard kiss.

"Just think, soon you'll officially be mine." He said possessively, smiling in satisfaction.

"Yours?" She asked with lifted brow.

"Mine!" He picked her up to sit her astride his lap before running his hands up and over her back. "Do you need me to remind you again?"

"Is that your subtle way of trying to get me into bed?" She tilted her head and began to nibble on his ear.

"Uh huh, is it working?"

"Hmm, I don't know, maybe I shouldn't put out anymore until we get married." She looked at him with a dead serious expression.

"Lo, don't even tease me about that." He grimaced twisting his hand gently in her hair and urging her mouth to his.

"Who said I'm teasing?" She laughed then screamed when he stood up and threw her over his shoulder. "Clark put me down." She demanded between gurgles of laughter.

"I will, but tonight I'm going to see how long it takes for you to pray." He replied patting her bottom; he walked into the bedroom, dumped her on the bed and jumped on before she had time to move. She laughed and squirmed, he made himself comfortable then looked down at her and grinned; "and baby, I'm going to count just how many seconds you don't 'put out' for." He chuckled at both the challenge and anticipation in her eyes.

That had been an easy conversation with a quick resolution but the conversation they'd have about Lana when she got back wouldn't be resolved quite so easily, if at all and the thought was like a lead weight in his stomach.

OoO

There was nothing, she couldn't think of a damn thing, she flatly refused to try magic, the library had been no help and she was out of ideas. So it seemed that she'd go back, _hopefully_, and would soon be back here as Joanne engaged to Clark, unaware of what was coming.

Oh Fuck! The engagement party was supposed to be on Saturday night; today was Wednesday and unless the party was cancelled it would still go ahead if only to save face. She knew that Joanne wouldn't care about that on her own behalf, nor Clark and Lana's but she'd never do anything to hurt Mrs Kent, and if going through with the farce of an engagement party would save Mrs Kent from becoming a victim of small town gossip, she'd do it.

Mindful that Joanne needed a dress for Saturday night, and knowing it never hurt to have a beautiful dress on hand whether the party was cancelled or not, she decided to go shopping. She wasn't in favour of the engagement party going ahead but if it did then she intended for Joanne to look fabulous.

She didn't expect to find anything, she'd already looked in the shops only a couple of days previous but luck was on her side for once. A small boutique had only received a new shipment that morning and the dress she found was perfect.

It was made up of tiny pleats from top to bottom; the colour was mint green, in a beautiful soft, lightweight, drape-able silk like fabric. The design of the dress was stunning; it had spaghetti straps and a twist in the bodice just under the bust-line that pulled in across the waist to show off her figure, and the hem hit just below her knees, so she wouldn't look out of place at a semi casual/formal party. After trying it on; she had to have it and while paying for the dress looked in the display case and saw a gorgeous pair of dangly; cubic zirconia and silver tear drop earrings which would sparkle and sway with her every move.

At least now if Joanne had to suffer through an engagement party where everyone knew the intended groom had taken up with another woman, she would look ravishing; thereby telling the more gossip mongering of those attending that they could shove their show of false sympathy because she didn't need it.

All in all, so far her expedition had proven fruitless. She'd found a beautiful dress for her engagement party, which was ironic considering she didn't want to be engaged and most likely wouldn't be once she returned to the farm, but had come up blank with how to return with her memories of being in this time intact.

Well at least Joanne would have a dazzling dress to wear the next time she went out on a date, and as she was soon going to be footloose and fancy free the dress would certainly come in handy.

Checking her watch she found it was almost 12.30 and quickly rushed to the post office, sent the letter she'd written the previous night by certified mail and made her way back to the car. Nothing was supposed to happen for hours but she didn't want to take the chance of being on the road and blacking out. If anything happened she would much prefer not to be by herself, after stowing her purchases in the car she fired up the engine and started the drive back to the farm.

OoO

Clark heard a car coming down the lane, and when he pushed down his glasses and saw Lois's car pulling into the driveway his stomach twisted.

He'd been waiting for Lois to come back so they could talk but now that the moment had arrived his anxiety began to escalate. This was going to be hard, whether Lois had found a way to keep her memory or not, he hated the thought that she could leave thinking he was a liar and a cheat. What stung even more was the knowledge that she'd think he would ever treat Joanne with so little respect.

He couldn't think of Joanne right now, every time he did he became black with anger at Lana for putting him in the position of having to face his fiancé with what he'd unknowingly done, and right now he needed his wits about him just to get through the coming conversation with Lois.

"Is that a car?" Chloe asked turning away from the TV screen.

"Yeah, it's Lois." He didn't know why they were pretending to watch the screen; all three of them had been checking the clock and starting and stopping conversations since the movie began. No one gave a happy damn that Leonardo was going to die from frostbite because the surrounding boats didn't come back in time.

"Do you want us to leave so you can talk to her alone?" Chloe asked softly.

"NO! Sorry; not yet; can the two of you stay, just until we hear what she says?" He felt pathetic, but he needed their joint strength until he knew how bad this was going to be.

"Ok honey, we'll take our cue from you. If you want us to leave give us a signal or if things start to go bad, we'll just take our leave quietly." Martha replied reaching over and taking his hand.

"Maybe the two of you can stick around. I doubt she'll listen to me but she might listen to one of you." He squeezed his moms hand, turned off the TV then got up from the couch to stand in the entry between the kitchen and lounge room.

"Ok." Martha and Chloe walked into the kitchen area and began to get out bread and butter, fussing with glasses and water, checking the roast in the oven, basically keeping busy by pretending that all they were doing was preparing lunch. When they heard the footsteps outside the door, the three of them gave each other one last nervous look then tried to act as casual as possible.

Lois was good at hiding her emotions but just like on the phone when she couldn't stifle her laughter, one look at her face told him all he needed to know. Now he just needed to decide how to start.

"Hey Lo, you shopped, what'd you buy?" God, he didn't care what she bought, but couldn't think of anything else to say.

"Hi I'm back." She swept a smile around the room but found three nervous smiles shining back at her "I got a dress and some earrings for the party on Saturday night." She smiled again trying to ease the tension in the room, but finding it was no good, decided to confront the situation head on. She walked over to the couch dumped her purchases and turned to face Clark once again.

"The party; you mean the engagement party?" Maybe he'd been wrong, maybe things weren't going to be as bad as he thought; then again maybe he was just an idiot.

"Uh huh, I ran out of time so didn't look for shoes but they shouldn't be hard to match with the dress, maybe Joanne can find some when she gets back. Anyway you said you needed to talk to me. You said it was urgent… about Lana..." She prompted.

"Um yeah, Lo can I just ask why you left so early today?" He really hoped she'd say that she just wanted to go for a drive, but Lois wasn't one to run from a confrontation no matter how ugly she thought it was going to be, so he wasn't surprised by her next words, just sad.

She walked over to the fridge, grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on a stool at the Kitchen Island. Lois also wasn't stupid, she knew that his mom and Chloe were aware of what was going on and wasn't fooled by their almost manic lunch preparations. "I couldn't sleep last night and decided to talk to you this morning, I was going to talk to you about Joanne, but when I saw you with Lana I changed my mind." She stopped and looked him dead in the eye. "I was angry and disappointed, but after thinking about it, I had to admit that when it came right down to it, I was relieved on my own behalf but pissed off on Joanne's."

"Lois I have …."

She held up her hand, twisted the top of the bottle and took a quick sip. "Joanne's going to be angry and hurt and she'll probably hate you for a long time, but she will eventually realise that it was better to know before the wedding than after that it was Lana you still wanted, trust me I know."

"Lois, let me…" Clark's agitation grew, this was going to be bloody awful, she was calm, she wasn't yelling and god he felt about an inch tall.

"Wait please. Look it's no secret that I didn't want to marry you, and I think you could have shown Joanne the respect of talking to her before hopping into bed with Lana but what's done is done." She shrugged taking another sip of water.

"No Lois, you've got it wrong, I didn't…nothing happened, we…I…..that's what I have to tell y…." He wanted to explain but his words came out in a mix of garbled confusion and he ended up trailing off miserably.

"Clark don't! Just don't ok?" Lois said quietly but with force. "Now I want you to tell me the truth, how long has it been going on? If it didn't just start up again last night then I'm going to be really pissed knowing that you were cheating on Joanne." Her eyes narrowed and nailed him to the spot. "Loving Lana is one thing but cheating on your fiancé is just not on." She paused then quietly resumed. "Of course the two of you have played this game before; actually you're playing it right now where I come from, but ….."

"Stop Lois please." He begged unable to listen to anymore.

"Lo, please listen to Clark, just hear him out ok." Chloe couldn't quietly mind her own business any longer. Seeing the hurt on Clark's face and the disillusionment on Lois's she decided it was now the time to speak up and soon found that Martha felt the same way.

"Honey, it really wasn't what you think." After exchanging a look with Clark, Martha turned back to Lois and asked, "Do you want us to leave you two alone?"

"Well I'm guessing you both know what happened, but yeah if you don't mind, I kind of think this is between Clark and me." Lois said apologetically.

"Ok, but please just give him a chance." Martha pleaded, she rubbed Lois's arm and kissed Clark on the cheek before going upstairs followed by Chloe who did the same.

The silence in the kitchen seemed awfully familiar. It was like the first morning all over again but this time it was so much worse. What the hell could he say, he was sleeping and Lana took advantage of him. That sounded ludicrous even though it was true. He decided to give her the truth and only hoped it was enough.

He took a deep breath and began. "Lois, I know what it looked like but I swear nothing happened between Lana and me, not last night or any other night. Nothing's been going on. I have never cheated on Joanne, not once. I've never wanted to." His voice was quiet but rang with conviction.

"Clark, I know what I saw. The two of you were naked…"

He cut her off quickly. "But we weren't. Lana was but I was still wearing boxer shorts. She got undressed and slipped into bed with me when I was asleep last night. She must have known that I'd think it was you and …."

Lois held up her hand to stop him. "Ok, there are at least two things wrong with what you just said. First, how could she slip into bed with you without waking you up, don't you have super hearing or something? And second, I may have wanted to talk to you Clark but I sure as hell wouldn't crawl into bed with you." She finished shaking her head.

"No I mean, she would have known that I'd think it was Joanne not you. God, Lois, I was shocked when I found her in bed with me this morning. I was dreaming of you, us and ….."

"Stop please, I don't want that image in my head but ok, let's just say you're right about that, how did you not hear her?" She asked quietly.

He shook his head. "I don't know. Sleeping is when you're most vulnerable but I don't know how she did it without waking me up." He took a seat on the opposite stool and folded his hands.

Lois took a deep breath, and shook her head in return. "Clark, the two of you looked pretty cuddly. The woman was naked and draped over your chest, even if you didn't wake up when she joined you and even if you thought you were with Joanne, Lana and I are built totally different. There's no way you could have been fooled for long, not unless you wanted to be or had recently been in a position similar to what I found this morning." She stopped and finished softly, "She was lying on top of you and your arms were wrapped around her; you weren't trying to get away nor did you appear to be fighting to protect your virtue. You looked pretty damn snugly as a matter of fact."

His face went scarlet. "Lois, I can't explain it but nothing happened. Nothing has happened since before she married Lex. Hell it was months before we broke up that anything physical happened between Lana and me and even then it was only once." How could he explain what he didn't understand himself? She was right, she and Lana had different body shapes and he'd been holding Lana when he woke up. He didn't know how in the hell he could ever have mistaken Lana for Joanne.

"Uh huh, well I'm glad you haven't been cheating because that would just make you pond scum, but maybe my coming here reminded you of what you had with Lana, and subconsciously made you want it again." He sounded truly sincere and she found herself believing that he hadn't been cheating. Her heart unclenched and she let out a deep breath; she'd been hurting for Joanne since her early morning discovery and honestly didn't realise it until this moment.

"I love Joanne and only Joanne, the thought of even being with anyone else is anathema to me. I haven't suddenly decided I want Lana back consciously or subconsciously, I don't want her back at all." He said calmly without hesitation.

"Look, Clark, I'm not mad. I'm really not; you don't have to pretend with me but…"

"Lois I'm not pretending." He refuted bluntly. "When I woke up this morning and found Lana in bed with me, I rolled of the mattress so fast I must have broken the sound wave. But when I went to confront her, she, well she ….I saw the look on her face and knew that she lo…." He couldn't finish the sentence; that would only confirm everything; he reached for the water bottle and took a sip.

"She's in love with you." Lois said forthrightly.

"What! How did you know, when did you know?" He asked astonished.

"When I knew; the first day I was here. How I knew; it was obvious. I have to figure Joanne knows as well, there's no way I could see it and she didn't." She got up and grabbed another bottle of water before retaking her seat.

"You think Joanne knows how Lana feels?" Clark questioned.

"Of course, I'm just surprised that no one else did, I mean it was pretty obvious."

"Why didn't I ever see it?"

Lois shrugged and shook her head. "I don't know, I thought of two possibilities, either you did know and was just waiting for her to speak up so that you could then declare your love in return, or you didn't want to acknowledge it because you'd gotten yourself engaged to Joanne, and didn't know how to break it off." She blew out a breath before reaching for an apple in the fruit bowl.

"Is that why you tried to throw us together?" Clark asked smiling sadly.

"Partly, but it was also because I thought if I couldn't change things when I went back then maybe I could break the engagement." She looked at him and let out a slight smile, "It really wasn't personal Clark, but you have to admit that where I'm from, you and I just don't think of each other romantically." When he nodded she explained further. "I just thought if you and Lana could get your act together, then Joanne wouldn't marry someone who wanted out before she'd even finished combing the rice out of her hair. Let's face it, who wants to marry a guy that can't keep it zipped around his former girlfriend?" She said taking a bite from the apple.

"Lois, I didn't know about Lana's feelings but even if I did, it wouldn't have made any difference, I don't love her. I was never looking for a way out of the engagement and I would never regret our marriage, ever." He ran his hand through his hair and over the back of his neck. "I'm not attracted to anyone else sexually, not even a little, it's you….I mean Joanne or no one. My pants stay permanently zipped around any woman but her." He paused and said quietly, "I know that you wanted to keep your memory to change our lives, I don't know if you've changed your mind or not, I hope you have but either way; I need you to believe that nothing will ever happen between me and any other woman, _**including**_ Lana." He looked at her with sincerity, his face open and honest.

Lois swallowed, put down the apple and took a sip of water. "Clark, if I said that I'd be lying. I don't mind lying for a higher cause but this is my future we're talking about. I've been around you and Lana too long to believe _**nothing**_ ever will happen." She ran her fingers through her hair, pressed her lips together and began to speak again. "Do you know the one consistent thing I've noticed about the two of you?" At his head shake. "You want each other most when the other is unavailable. Right now back there, Lana's engaged to Lex but it hasn't stopped you from trying to get her back, and although she's hurt and angry with you she's also enjoying your attention. Now fast forward and this time you're engaged and she wants you back, and for all I know you could be secretly thrilled at her pursuit, but just better at hiding it." She paused and said with finality, "It'll never end Clark, because deep down you and Lana don't want it to end."

"That's not true, Lana and I broke up eight years ago Lois, EIGHT YEARS!" Clark said desperately. "She wanted us to get back together twice before I began to date Joanne, both times I said no and I've never once regretted it." He nodded in emphasis "I learnt a long time ago that my love for Lana was just a juvenile crush that I made a big deal about it. I left here when I was 20, I grew up and moved on and it wouldn't have made any difference if I never met you, I still wouldn't want her."

"Could you honestly say that if she was involved with someone else? I know you've changed, I've seen how much in the last few days, but I just find it hard to believe that you won't revert to your former Lana obsessive ways. After all, Lana's still playing true to form, so there's nothing to stop you from doing it either." Lois shrugged in resignation.

"Yes there is, ME!" He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Please Lois, I need you to believe that I can be trusted around Lana. I wouldn't do anything that could hurt Joanne like that; she's my life, god she's everything to me, please." He knew that he was begging but didn't care, this woman was going to grow up to be his fiancé and he couldn't stand the thought that she doubted him.

She studied him silently, his voice was so earnest and although shaky it carried the tone of conviction and assurance. He was so intent on getting her to believe him and really why should be bother? She was supposed to leave soon so it wasn't like he had to care what she thought one way or the other. He had to be telling the truth, as far as he was concerned nothing would ever happen between him and Lana.

She nodded silently, pulled her hand free, got up and retrieved her purse. When she turned around he was looking at her as if begging her to believe him and as she'd always trusted her instincts, decided that she was going to act on them now and quickly extracted the paper that she'd tucked into the side pocket earlier and held it out to him. "Here"

"What's this?" He took the paper but didn't bother opening it.

"I was going to find out just how long your affair with Lana had been going on, and if it didn't just start up again last night, I was going to leave this note for Joanne telling her you were a lying, cheating scum bag, who was screwing Lana behind her back." She smiled and re-took her seat.

"You believe me?" He asked in relief.

"Yeah, after all, you knew that I'd be leaving today so you had no reason to care what I thought one way or the other, and as you didn't know I'd written the note you had nothing to lose by exposing your affair." She lifted her shoulders and grimaced, "But it's also because Skipper is so pathetically grateful for whatever scraps Lana throws his way, and yet here you are, spending your time trying to get me to believe that you weren't cheating with her. Normally Lana's opinion and feelings are the only thing that Skipper really cares about, so I have to figure you're being sincere."

"Thank you for the note, but Lois I did care about other people's feelings, not just Lana's." He replied shaking his head in denial.

"Yeah, whatever."

"Why don't you believe me? I admit I was kind of one eyed about Lana, but I did care about other people, not just her." He protested again but could see that she didn't agree.

"Uh huh, well anyway, I'm kind of hungry, so let's just forget it and eat lunch ok?" Lois hopped off the stool and was surprised when Clark intercepted her retreat.

"No! Lois I did care about other people, you believe me about everything else, why don't you believe me about that?" He had to know what made her think that Lana was the only thing that mattered to him.

"Clark, Lana comes…came first and last with you, you cared about Lana to the exclusion of anyone else. Why do you think I really couldn't stand you when we met? I'd heard all about you from Chloe." She replied exasperated.

"Lois I've always cared about Chloe but only as a friend." He wouldn't lie about that not even to her.

"I don't mean that Clark, you can't help who you fall for and I never held that against you. I thought you were nuts for preferring Lana, but it was the way you always put her before Chloe, then turned around and made Chloe feel like she was in the wrong when she got upset about it. You used Chloe's feelings for you against her to wiggle out of feeling guilty, when she tried to call you on your crap, and then made her feel bad for doubting your friendship. That's what I hated." Lois stated succinctly and clearly.

"I didn't, I admit Lana was on my mind a lot but I didn't do that to Chloe." He negated angrily.

She'd tried not to get into this discussion, she didn't want to get into it, but he'd kept on pushing and she'd had enough. "Really, want me to start listing the ways because I can? Who do you think Chloe called when her 'so called' best friend was being a bastard? Who do you think she called when she needed someone to talk to, someone who wouldn't conveniently turn the conversation from her and her problems back to himself? _**Me**_Clark, I don't know how many times I told Chloe to cut you adrift and get some real friends, but just as you were blind to Lana, Chloe was blind to you."

"What! Ok give me an example, just one." He asked throwing out his arms in exasperation and frustration.

"Just one, there are so many to choose from." Lois scoffed "But tell me Clark, for how long have you known that Chloe wanted to be a journalist?"

"For as long as I can remember but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Oh I don't know, I remember a few years ago Chloe was all excited about going to a Journalism Seminar, in fact she talked my ear off about how much she was looking forward to it. So when I called to tell her to have a good time a couple of days beforehand, and she told me that she almost didn't get to go because 'her best friend Clark' forgot to get tickets because he was too busy playing lap dog to Lana Lang, and when Chloe showed him that she was upset, he tried to make _her_ feel bad and told her _she_ was being unfair, even _knowing_ that journalism was her life's goal, _he didn't care_, because she wasn't Lana. So I'm sure you can imagine exactly what I thought and said about you." Lois' voice had started out calm but steadily became more angry and loud as the recitation went on, and remembering the way Chloe cried she swung around and grabbed the bottle of water ready to throw it but stopped herself.

"Chloe understood and anyway I did get tickets." Clark replied weakly.

Slamming the bottle on the sink she swung around so fast, the fire in her eyes so clear that Clark took a step back. "You got tickets by sucking up to Lex, you didn't even _remember _the seminar or how much Chloe wanted to go. She wasn't Lana; she wasn't your dream princess, so her wants and needs took a backseat if it intruded in your Lana worship time." Lois mocked before taking a deep breath and continuing. "You were a lousy friend at times Clark, god knows why Chloe kept you around. She didn't understand, she just let you off the hook, the same way you turned a blind eye when Lana treated you like a dog." She said heatedly.

When he opened his mouth she cut him off. "And I won't even start on time the Torch was taken from Chloe, and given to the fucking pom pom queen, and you Chloe's best friend couldn't even be bothered pulling your head out of Lana's ass for two seconds to sympathise with Chloe, because hey, you thought it was a good thing." She said loudly with contempt. "And just remembering that again makes me wanna kick your teeth in on her behalf." She swung around to face the window then swung back. "And don't bother saying that you helped Chloe out numerous times and saved her life because she damn well did the same thing for you. So I hope you can understand just why it infuriated me that you dared to treat her like that, and still call yourself her best friend." Lois yelled then leant back against the sink and breathed deeply.

"I….umm I…god, I don't know what to say. I'm sorry Lois." Clark was ashamed, everything Lois said was right and he knew it.

"It's not me you need to apologise too." Lois pointed out. "It would have been nice had you even _bothered _to apologise to Chloe for all the shit you put her through, but I guess you were just too busy begging on your knees to Lana to remember Chloe even existed; except when you needed a favour of course." She said wryly, rubbing her forehead. "Last night I said you had a good heart Clark and I meant it, but when you were Skipper you could be a selfish prick with bad judgement when it came to Lana, and unless Joanne's turned into some kind of Stepford girlfriend, she'll tell you the same thing if you ask her."

"Now getting back to what we were discussing before I verbally ripped your head off, I'm giving you the note because I hope to hell I'm right, and that you're not screwing around behind Joanne's back. But just a word of warning, I'm not Chloe, I don't forgive easily so if you are cheating Joanne will find out, and Superman or not she'll cut your thing off." Lois finished calmly and took another sip of water.

"Lois, I promise I'm not cheating, I would never do that to Joanne or you." Clark said earnestly. "Thank you for giving me the note, I promise you won't regret it."

"I hope not." She rubbed her face then called out to Chloe and Martha that the coast was clear.

OoO

Martha and Chloe sat in the main bedroom looking at each other; this was exactly like the first morning. They had the radio on and the door closed so the voices were muffled but every now and then they could hear a murmur. When it grew quiet they thought it was over until they heard the voices begin to get louder, Clark sounded angry then Lois's voice was all that could be heard becoming louder and more passionate.

"God maybe we should crawl out the window." Chloe suggested trying to lighten the atmosphere.

"I'm half tempted too." Martha returned sighing.

When the voices died down again they both hoped it was over and when Lois called out that the coast was clear, they looked at each other again, grasped hands, let go and walked downstairs.

"So is everything settled?" Chloe asked hopefully

"Yeah we're fine." Lois smiled slightly. "And now if you'll all excuse me I'm going outside for a cigarette." Snagging her purse she walked out the front door.

As soon as the coast was clear the two women turned to Clark with enquiring looks.

"She believes me, it wasn't easy but she does, she already knew about Lana's feelings and said that Joanne would know too."

"How'd she know?" Chloe asked before Martha could.

"I don't know, maybe we can ask her when she comes back in. Umm Chlo can I talk to you outside for a couple of minutes. Mom you don't mind do you, I just have to talk to Chloe about something?" Clark asked opening the back door.

"Of course not, you two go on outside." Martha smiled relieved that at least one thing had been resolved.

OoO

"What's up, what did Lois say? You said she believed you." Chloe paused, grabbed his arm and began firing out questions again before he could speak "Doesn't she believe you, don't you want to say anything in front of your mom?" She shook his arm impatiently waiting for him to answer.

"No it's not that. Lois just reminded me of something, I think she was ready to unload more on me, thank god she didn't because I don't think I could stand feeling like more of a heel than I already do." He stopped, picked up the hand sitting on his arm and squeezed it gently before letting go "Chloe I owe you an apology. Hell I've owed you an apology for a long time now, and I'm ashamed it took Lois to make me see it. I should have seen it but …."

"Clark you're babbling and I have no idea what you're talking about." She leant against the porch and frowned.

He blew out a breath and began again. "When I was a teenager infatuated with Lana, I took you for granted Chlo. I used your crush on me against you, and I did it so that I wouldn't feel guilty, when you got upset or mad at me for ignoring you or putting Lana first." Looking into her eyes he saw the long suppressed hurt that he'd ignored so many times in the past. "Thinking back there were so many times I walked rough-shod over your feelings because of Lana. I hated it when Lana did it to me, I was depressed when she did it to me, but it didn't stop me from doing it to you. I'm really sorry Chloe; I should have said this and more a long time ago. I know you've forgiven me, even when I didn't ask for it but I'm asking for it now; please." He picked up both her hands and held them in his, his eyes full of misery.

"Clark as you said I forgave you a long time ago. I can't deny that I wasn't hurt but you've saved my life lots of times, so I think the slates clean, don't you?" Chloe replied quietly.

"No." He said simply shaking his head. "You helped me a lot of times too Chlo, you listened to my problems, you helped me with my powers, hell you didn't even think I was a freak when you found out I wasn't human, and you have no idea how much that meant to me. You were a friend Chloe, a better friend than I deserved. You don't owe me anything for saving your life, not a damn thing. I need to know that you forgive me for being an insensitive, hormone ridden teenage prick." He asked sincerely.

"Prick huh; you really have spent too much time around Lois." She grinned. "But ok, if you need to hear it, I forgive you Clark. As you said, I forgave you a long time ago but thank you, I guess I also appreciate you asking." She smiled and squeezed his hands in return.

"Thank you." he pulled her into a hug and squeezed gently before kissing her on the forehead and smiling.

"Now how about we go back inside and grill Lois on how she knew about Lana?" Chloe suggested seriously.

"Ok." He nodded.

"Ok." She nodded in reply.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

Lunch was silent, three people looked at Lois furtively, urged each other with head nods to say something all while Lois enjoyed her lamb roast. When she got fed up with the mime act; she put her cutlery down, took a sip of water and deciding enough was enough brought the silence at lunch to an end. "Question, what time am I supposed to wake up back there?"

"6.23 pm." Clark replied promptly.

"Right, well it's now almost 2pm, and since I haven't been able to enjoy my lunch with all the nodding and nudging the three of you have been going on with; and I do want to enjoy my desert, how about cutting to the chase and asking me what you want." She scooped up the last forkful of potato mash, popped it into her mouth and wiped her lips with her napkin.

When the three of them looked and nodded to each other to see who got to go first she rolled her eyes "Oh for….what do you wanna ask me?" She said in exasperation.

"What'd you mean?" Chloe asked innocently.

"Give it up Chlo, you're all dying to ask me something, so go ahead?" Lois invited.

"I've got a few questions and I have a feeling they're the same ones that Clark and Martha have as well." Chloe said shooting a look around the table.

"Well, do the three of you wanna take it in turns or what because I'm not getting any younger?" Lois replied facetiously.

"Why'd you buy a dress for the engagement party if you thought that Clark was back with Lana, and what did you want to talk to Clark about so early this morning?" Chloe quickly rushed in before anyone else could speak.

Turning to Clark, Lois gave a half smile before facing the three people all looking at her with curiosity burning in their eyes. "I was going to tell Clark that although his relationship with Joanne still made me uncomfortable, I wasn't going to try and do anything to wreck it. Of course when I saw him with Lana I felt like an idiot for being suckered in, but that's all now been resolved." She turned to face Clark and the look of relief on his face made her smile ruefully. "So Clark you don't have to worry about me trying to change your life, I admit I did look but couldn't find anything, the only idea I could come up with that might have worked was magic and I wasn't willing to try that."

He nodded gratefully but had to ask the next question. "But if you thought that Lana and I were back together, why'd you buy a dress for the engagement party?"

She sighed and picked up her water to sip before explaining that she did it for Mrs Kent causing all three to smile, then lightly mocked herself by adding on the rest. "To be honest, I also figured that if Joanne had to suffer through the engagement party then I wanted her to look fantastic. I was going to make damn sure that no one pitied her, and believe me, considering the dress I bought, more than likely they'd just think you were a moron for ever letting her go." She finished and grinned when all three began to laugh.

Once the laughter died down the conversation once again turned serious at Chloe's next question. "Lois how did you know that Lana was in love with Clark?"

"I just knew." Lois shrugged then explained further. "When I saw her at the Talon on the first day she told me that she didn't love him anymore and I believed her, but when she came to dinner that night and I saw her with Clark, I knew that she did. I just couldn't figure out why no one else saw it." She glanced at the occupants of the table.

Martha asked the next question "Clark told us that you think Joanne knows."

"Oh yeah...she'd know. And if she didn't figure it out by the, 'I heart Clark' Lana has painted all over her face, she'd probably know by the less than pleased looks Lana sometimes throws my….her way." Lois smiled grimly.

"What looks Lo?" Clark and Chloe shot out.

"The kind where my face is the pumpkin, and she has a carving knife in her hand." She grimaced, picked up her glass and drained it.

"WHAT?" Three voices cried out in unison.

"Lana hates my…Joanne…my, oh hell you know who I mean, she hates our guts, ok." Lois tried to pick up the pitcher to pour herself some more water but her hand shook. Reaching over Clark refilled her glass and smiling in thanks she picked it up and sipped.

"She hates you!" Martha asked softly reaching over and picking up Lois's free hand.

"Yeah and I have to tell you it's a pretty unsettling feeling having someone feel like that about you." Lois nodded putting the glass down. "I've had people not like me, that's natural but…."

"I never saw anything, did either of you?" Clark asked looking at his mom and Chloe who shook their heads; all three were distressed that they'd never known.

Now that it was out Lois felt relief in talking about it. "Gees, the two of you are some hot shot journalists. There were a couple of times when Lana looked at me that made me think it wouldn't be safe to be around her by myself, and I'm sure Joanne's experienced the same thing."

"When?"

"What happened?" Chloe and Clark spoke at the same time and threw each other a look of unity before turning back to Lois.

"Nothing happened but the other day when you and I were talking in the loft, Lana came and called us in to lunch remember." At Clarks nod Lois continued. "Well that's when I saw it, pure hate. She had this look on her face like she wouldn't have minded helping me down the stairs with a good hard shove to my back. I have to admit to wondering if I was going to make it down safely. Anyway I have to figure if I'm not even Joanne…..well not really, then the real Joanne must have caught that look too."

"You think Lana would actually hurt Joanne?" Clark asked quietly.

"Given half a chance, I think she'd kill her and stash the body in quick lime if she could."

"Shit! Sorry mom." Clark swung around to Martha then back to Lois. "Why didn't you tell me Lois, was it because Skipper is so infatuated with Lana that you thought I wouldn't believe you?" He asked in remorseful voice.

"No; besides if I thought you wouldn't believe me, I would have just told Chlo or your mom." She said patting his arm, glad to see some of the strain ease from his face. "Remember how I kind of zoned out at lunch the other day and you were all wondering what I was thinking about?" All three nodded. "Well that was it. At first I thought I could have been wrong, but knew I wasn't. Then I questioned why no one else saw it because I knew if I did, that Joanne would have, and then I thought well…." She broke off and threw and uncomfortable look in Clark's direction.

"What?" He gently urged.

Blowing out a breath she forged ahead. "Then I just figured, where I'm from Skipper blames Lex for stealing Lana and more than likely Lex was on the receiving end of the same kind of looks that Lana was now sending me. But although Skipper probably dreams of dispatching Lex to the afterlife he wouldn't do it, so although Lana was sending me murderous looks she wouldn't either. And I finally figured that as Joanne didn't tell anyone, and she is me, she must have had good reason to keep it to herself, so I decided to do the same."

Clark nodded sadly.

She tried to ease the strain by teasing. "Although I have to say I've never wanted to kick you and Lana harder then when we were at your apartment." She broke off to smile at the curious looks. "You actually made me feel sorry for Lex Luthor! I finally understood exactly how he felt because I knew that just as you blamed him for stealing Lana, she was now blaming Joanne for stealing you and my foot was fairly itching to kick the both of you." She said with a quirk on her lips.

Chloe and Martha smiled and it wasn't long before Clark smiled as well. "Well I keep telling you to give everyone a chance." He grinned.

"My foots still itching Clark, so watch it." She smiled back and was pleased when he smiled in return but his smile turned to a frown a moment later.

"Can you think of a reason why Joanne didn't tell me?" He asked curiously.

"Maybe she thought you wouldn't believe her." Lois shrugged.

"No she knows I would have. Joanne and I can talk about anything." He shook his head.

"Even Lana?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure Clark? Look all I know about your relationship is what everyone's told me and I'm not just saying this because I'm from a time and place where Lana is on your mind 24/7, but if Joanne told you that she thought Lana might want to harm her, would you believe her? Don't just react, think about it for a minute and tell me truthfully. Would you have believed her if she told you that Lana loved you and hated her enough to maybe hurt her, or would you just think she was being jealous and insecure?"

Clark was silent for several minutes doing as Lois requested but knew it wasn't necessary. If Joanne had ever told him that Lana loved him and that she felt uneasy or uncomfortable around her he would have believed her. "I would have believed her."

"Ok, then have you ever intimated that Lana was a sacred subject not to be touched with bad thoughts and feelings, or could you have given her the impression that because you and Lana are now just friends, that she couldn't talk to you about it?" Lois asked bluntly.

The Oliver fight sprang to mind, she mentioned that he still talked to Lana and he said that Lana was different; maybe she didn't say anything because she thought he'd think she was just being jealous and petty. Almost immediately he dismissed that reason, she wouldn't have thought that, Joanne knew that he trusted and she knew he would have believed her. He didn't know why she hadn't said anything but he would ask her when she got back.

"No, I honestly can't think of any reason why she didn't tell me."

"Then you'll have to ask her when she comes back, because I guarantee that she knows exactly how Lana feels." Lois' said with conviction.

"Ok, so you picked up on it the first day and by the subsequent looks she threw at you but was there anything else. I mean none of us saw anything, it just seems strange that you did and we didn't." Chloe asked frowning.

"I don't know, and now don't laugh but last night I asked both of you about meteor people remember?" At Clark and Chloe's nods, Lois grimaced. "You both thought I was talking about Joanne, but I was actually asking about Lana."

"In what way?" Chloe asked curiously.

"She gives me the creeps, I mean she really does." Lois shivered. "So I wondered if maybe she was meteor infected."

"Lo I'm infected; I hope that I don't give you the creeps." Chloe said subdued.

"Don't be stupid Chlo; she gives me the creeps because I know how she feels about me." Lois frowned and smacked Chloe lightly on the arm. "Anyway I wondered if Lana was meteor infected because so many people were either crazy about her, wanted to kill her or both." When the three looked at her with confusion she rolled her eyes. "C'mon, you can't tell me it's normal for one person to have so many people ready to kiss her ass or dying to plant it in the ground, and take Skipper, the guys nuts about her, but why?" She looked at Clark with lifted brow.

He shrugged. "I just was."

"Yeah, but why Lana? There are nicer girls, prettier girls and ones who are a lot less trouble, but Skipper only sees Lana as this perfect girl who's the love of his life. He sees no faults in her, and no matter how much you like someone you can't ignore their shortcomings forever, but he does. He just doesn't see what she's really like." Lois sighed and turned to address Clark. "Let me ask you Clark, do you think Joanne's perfect? And don't go listing my faults, yes or no will do."

"No."

"Right because I'm not, but Skipper thinks Lana is; no matter what happens, it's not her fault and she's never to blame. So I wondered if she was meteor enhanced and drove people to passion or murder. Someone's always trying to kill her and someone's always falling in love with her." Lois stopped and frowned. "You can't tell me that's normal; anyway I thought maybe she was the queen meteor freak, sorry Chlo, but maybe she was and maybe her queen status made her like a superconductor to Skipper and that's why he was so suckered in by her."

Chloe and Martha's lips twitched, Clark just sat back incredulous. "Go ahead and laugh." Lois invited and wasn't surprised when they did.

"Sorry Lo, but you had me until the queen freak and the superconductor part." Chloe said chuckling, Martha put her hand to her mouth and waved her napkin, Clark began to laugh and when the three didn't stop Lois shot all of them a dirty look.

"Enough already!" She growled then leant forward, "Just think Clark, if I'm right then you had reason to behave like such a jerk, but if I'm wrong, then for _years_ you were a boneheaded moron who declared far and wide that he was in love with; and busted his cherry on the most manipulative girl in Smallville." Clark's laughter abruptly stopped and he flushed bright red.

"Yeah, thought you wouldn't like that." She said in satisfaction before sitting back in her seat.

Clark cleared his throat. "Um Lo can you think of any other reason why none of us knew how she felt about me?" He asked meekly.

Looking around the table and seeing the serious expressions on everyone's face she thought about it for a minute. "Well maybe all of you were too close to it. I was…am a relative outsider if you follow. Maybe I could see it because I've just come from it, but for all of you it's been several years."

"That makes sense."

"But finding your shirt at her place kind of cinched it for me." Lois said waving one hand in Clark's direction while the other picked up her water glass.

"WHAT!"

"What shirt Lo?" Again Chloe and Clark spoke at the same time and looked at each other before turning back to Lois.

"You know the red and gold one you wear…. or used to wear. As you all know I fell in love with her bedroom and lay down on the bed and that's when I found it under her pillow. The fact that it also smelt faintly of your aftershave made me wonder." She shrugged and looked at Clark, "I have to admit to wondering if maybe you and Lana were sneaking around…" At the look on Clark's face she quickly explained. "C'mon look at her bedroom, it's made up to heighten all the senses and it's completely sensual, so I thought maybe the two of you were cheating and her place was your little love nest."

"What I…What?" Clark was stunned, he knew that Lois had been upset about their engagement, but he'd never realised that she'd questioned his faithfulness before this morning's events, god this was just getting worse.

Seeing the hurt look on his face she rushed on. "Look, Lana said that she didn't love you but I knew that was a total lie, so I couldn't help but wonder if you were also lying, if not to Joanne at least to yourself. Lana had also told me that you kidnapped her and asked her to marry you instead of Lex." When he nodded and gestured she filled him in on the rest of her thoughts. "So I figured that an engagement wouldn't stop you from going after what you wanted. But at the same time Joanne wasn't just some random stranger you could feel free to dump at will, so I decided to try and find out if you were hiding your feelings for Lana or not, because I sure as hell didn't want Joanne caught up in the middle of it."

"Lois I was a stupid, selfish brat when I kidnapped Lana and asked her to marry me, I wouldn't do that now regardless of how I feel. At the time I tried to justify my behaviour by saying that I was saving her from Lex, but the truth is I selfishly thought I could have what I wanted, and to hell with everyone else." Clark said in a voice filled with remorse and self disgust.

"Well I'm glad to hear you say that because I used to think you were a pain in the ass but pretty honourable all the same, but from the moment Lana told me about that incident, I couldn't help being disgusted." Lois' face wore a look of distaste. "Don't get me wrong, I've never liked Lex but Lana wasn't innocent in that situation, she _**decided**_ to become involved with him and engaged to him, it wasn't all him."

"I know, I accepted that a long time ago and I don't blame you for being disgusted, my actions shame me still." Clark nodded and gave a downcast smile.

"Well getting back on track it was just after lunch that I decided you weren't cheating; I couldn't explain the shirt or the aftershave scent and I know most people can lie pretty good, but things like affairs come out, no one's ever as discreet as they think they are. And you just didn't act like Lana was someone you were, 'doing on the side', sorry for being so blunt but that's how I finally saw it." She shrugged.

"And the shirt?" Clark asked quietly.

"Well in the end I just figured she must have kept it after the two of you broke up and maybe she bought your aftershave and put it on the shirt. But finding it confirmed her feelings for you. I mean c'mon how many girls keep an ex-boyfriends shirt tucked under their pillow unless they still have the hots for him." Lois questioned.

"God the fact that it smells of my aftershave is kind of horrible. I never gave Lana that shirt."

"Maybe you just don't remember but you know what it's like, sometimes a guy gives his girlfriend his shirt to wear and they don't get it back, what's the big deal it's the fact that she still wears it, that's interesting."

"No it's not."

"What'd you mean?"

"She stole it."

"Huh."

"She stole it from Joanne."

"What?"

Chloe and Clark looked at each other; both remembered how upset Lois had been and began to get angry. Rubbing his brow he forced himself to calm down, being angry wouldn't help the situation and he had to concentrate.

"That's the shirt that Joanne stole from me, she used to wear it when I was doing Superman stuff and she didn't know where I was. But it went missing one day and she was pretty upset about it, it was never found and now I know why, Lana stole it." He said with tamped down anger.

"Well you do keep your doors unlocked around here so it would have been easy enough."

"It was in our apartment."

"Weren't you at your apartment when Lana was there?"

"Yes but one time Lana came to Metropolis and we were all supposed to have dinner together but Lo and Chloe had to work back, so I met Lana at the restaurant and suggested we get dinner and take it back to our apartment….." He trailed off and flushed at the look on Lois' face.

"She must have loved that, I bet she imagined the two of you were on a date." Lois shook her head and sighed.

"What! I was living with Joanne, there was no way…."

"You just said she stole your shirt." Lois cut in exasperated. "Clark when you turned up alone at the restaurant she would have dreamt the two of you were on a date; and when you suggested the two of you go back to your apartment she must have thought all her Christmas' had come at once." Men! She loved them but they were just so dumb.

He looked around the table and found all three women nodding their heads "God….I never thought, not for one minute…"

"You didn't but she would have, anyway keep going, you went back to the apartment…"

"Yeah but I was called away and left Lana by herself, she said she'd be fine and would watch TV until either Lo or I got back." He lowered his head at the head shakes around the table.

"I'm betting the minute you were gone she snooped around your apartment, I wouldn't be surprised if she rolled around on the bed imagining the two of you….you know." Lois wiggled her eyebrows and grinned, then quickly sobered at the look Clark shot her. "Anyway, I reckon she must have had a good look around and found the shirt. Was it lying on the bed or in the living room?"

"Neither; it was in the closet, Lo's not the tidiest person but that shirt was always put in the closet."

"Well Lana must have found it while snooping around and took it." Lois nodded and lifted a shoulder in a half shrug.

"This is really creepy." Chloe shuddered and when she looked at Martha encountered the same look of distaste.

"You wanna talk creepy, I'm betting she doesn't just wear that shirt, she fantasises about Clark and her 'doing it', while she's wearing it. Sorry Mrs Kent." Lois turned and apologised.

"That's alright but I have to say it is creepy." Martha felt disturbed and more than a little sick knowing that her son had a stalker, one who had been welcome in both their homes on numerous occasions; and worse that same person could have tried to harm Joanne and none of them would have been any the wiser.

"Yeah, but c'mon we've all been there. Ok, not as bad as Lana but we've all liked someone and imagined ourselves with them. Having fantasies is normal, it's when they turn into obsession that they become…."

"Creepy."

"Yeah."

"The aftershave and the shirt were bad enough, but now with what we know, leaving her alone in your apartment takes on a whole new meaning." Chloe shuddered.

"God, I never thought, not for one minute but looking back on it now…." Clark trailed off but his face wore the expression of someone who had seen something more than a little unpleasant and was trying to banish it from his mind.

"Yes."

"Lo didn't come home for at least another hour and a half and Lana had a…I don't know an anxious, no an eager kind of look on her face."

"I'm betting I know why."

"You think she was hoping I was going to tell her I was in love with her and was dumping Joanne, don't you?"

"Yeah."

"Well she must have been pretty disappointed then." His mind drifted back.

_When the movie was over Lois had started clearing the table, as soon as Lana had gone to the bathroom he'd slipped up behind Lois, put his arms around her waist and started to nuzzle her neck._

"_Clark, Lana's here." Lois hissed._

"_So, she's not here right now." He brushed her hair aside and continued to press kisses against the back of her neck while stroking his hand up from her waist, he'd just brushed the underside of her breast when she grabbed his hand._

"_Oh, no you don't. We have company, so forget about it buddy." Lois turned around and shot him a disapproving look._

"_If I promise to keep my hands on your waist, will you at least give me a kiss?" He asked bending down to kiss her throat._

"_Can't you wait, she'll be gone soon."_

"_Just a kiss and I promise to wait until she's gone."_

"_Ok just ….." the words were no sooner out of her mouth then he wrapped his arms around her and pressed his mouth to hers. However, one kiss wasn't enough and it was only when he heard Lana making a noise that he realised they'd gotten carried away._

_Lois had almost jumped out of his arms and began clearing away the dishes and when Lana had come back into the room, Lois began making small talk. He'd tried but couldn't concentrate, in fact his mind hadn't been on the conversation at all, he'd taken a peak and seen what Lois was wearing under her clothes and was looking forward to getting her out of them. The moment Lana left he'd thrown Lois over his shoulder and dumped her on the bed before joining her._

"Clark!...Clark!"

"Huh, what?

"What were you thinking about?"

"Oh um, just that night." He flushed then quickly started speaking. "So Lana was hoping that I'd taken her back to the apartment to be alone with her; no offence but isn't that kind of stupid? If I wanted us to be alone, why would I take her back to the apartment where Lo could walk in and catch us?"

"She wouldn't have cared about that, all she would have cared about is being alone with you, you wanting to be alone with her, nothing else." Lois replied patiently.

Seeing the women once again nodding their heads he sighed, "But she must have seen that I was happy with Joanne, she knew how I felt about Joanne."

"We see what we wanna see Clark. How many times was Lana with someone else and you kept hanging in there, so sure that the two of you were destined to be together?" Lois asked wryly.

"Don't remind me." Clark replied shaking his head in disgust.

"Even when she flirted with you, you just didn't get it. I tried to send her mental signals to act helpless; Skipper loves it when she does that, but just as you were oblivious to her, she was oblivious to me and I have to admit I got kinda frustrated." Lois said with a small smile and shrug.

"She flirted with me?" Clark purposely overlooked the slur on Skipper knowing that Lois had hit the nail dead on with that call.

"Oh man! Yes she flirted with you, she did it right here when the two of you were cooking dinner." Lois rolled her eyes and gestured to the kitchen area with her hand.

"What! I never saw anything."

"Neither did I." Chloe and Martha said in unison.

"The three of you are hopeless, honestly how do you get on without Joanne?" Lois asked sincerely perplexed.

"What'd she do Lo?" Chloe asked trying not to laugh as Lois backhandedly self praised herself.

"Here I'll show you, Clark get up." He stood up. "Ok, now pretend I'm Lana and we're cooking." While they pretended to prepare dinner, Lois' eyes sparkled when she smiled at Clark, she sent him coy looks from under her lashes, she accidentally on purpose bumped into him a couple of times, her hand slid over his once or twice. And all three were shocked that none of them had noticed Lana doing that while she and Clark were cooking dinner.

"She did that?" Martha asked in astonishment.

"Yeah, she didn't think anyone was watching but I was and saw it all." Lois shrugged and re-took her seat.

Clark felt disturbed, if Lana had done that while everyone was around then it wouldn't have been the first time, which meant she must have done it around Joanne. Lois was right, he'd been completely oblivious. But as he wasn't interested in any woman except his fiancé making advances to him it was no wonder that he hadn't noticed. If Joanne had flirted with him like that, dinner would have been severely delayed.

"So what am I gonna do?" He asked point blank.

"You need to talk to Lana." Lois replied firmly.

I don't wanna talk to her! I don't even wanna be around her." He said shaking his head in denial.

"You still need to talk to her."

"I know but I don't think I can face another conversation of our teenage love affair. God it was over years ago and I really don't want to revisit it with her, especially after what she said this morning." He said shooting a quick look at his mom and Chloe.

"What'd she say?"

Clark took his mom's advice and told Lois everything, holding back only the most intimate details of Lana's reminiscing. "Yeah that's what I figured, well you need to talk to her, so why not go now and get it over with."

"Can't it wait till later?" He asked hopefully, looking around the table he saw the understanding looks on the women's faces and felt his stomach drop.

"Putting it off isn't going to change anything." Lois said sympathetically patting his hand. "Look Lana's pretty hung up on you; if you don't want her back then you need to make that clear. You haven't seen her since she told you everything this morning and you said yourself that you didn't say anything after she finished speaking, so I wouldn't be surprised if she came looking for you. She's convinced that you love her, so she's going to think that you're going to welcome her with open arms."

"Lois is right honey." Martha reached over squeezed his hand and gave him a sympathetic smile.

"I know but all I can think about is that I'm going to have to face Joanne with this, that I'm more than likely going to lose her because of it and I'm scared of what I'm going to say. I don't think I'm going to be understanding or kind." He replied quietly.

"Maybe that's what she needs. Sometimes being nice isn't always the right answer, sometimes you really do have to hit someone over the head to get the message across." Chloe put forward and looking around the table he saw the women once again nodding, and nodded in return.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

While driving to Lana's house Clark mentally ran over what he was going to say, he was going to stay calm, no matter what; he was going to stay cool, calm and collected. He'd be patient, he'd even be understanding; but he was going to make sure that when he left, Lana would be under no illusions that he not only didn't love her but wanted nothing further to do with her.

He pulled over to the side of the road and closed his eyes. He knew that he had to stay phlegmatic, self possessed but didn't know if he could. He was still angry, still wanted to shake her for what she did and still resented her for putting him in this position.

Lois would be back in a few hours, his fiancé would be home but whether she'd still be his when he told her what happened was in doubt. At one time Lois had only been a friend, now she was everything and he knew that if she left him he'd never recover.

At one time he'd wanted nothing more than for Lana to love him; he never could have imaged turning her away if she came to him, said she loved and wanted him and now he wished that he'd hadn't been such an obstinate young fool determined to make her his.

If he had to ram the truth home to Lana he would but he'd still stay calm; anger would achieve nothing. If he got angry she'd just believe that she'd gotten to him, gotten under his skin and be even more convinced that he loved her. Taking several deep breaths, he steadied his pulse and heart rate before opening his eyes, putting the car in gear and pulling back on to the road.

OoO

After leaving the Kent farm Lana went home, had a quick shower and drove to Metropolis. She wanted to find something special to wear; something that she knew would knock Clark off balance the moment he saw her.

Luck was with her when she found a beautiful chiffon dress in bold bright red. Not her usual colour but one that definitely suited her complexion, she'd also found the most beautiful white crystal lace chemise. It dipped low in front to bring out her cleavage, clung lovingly to her figure and as it was all lace, her skin showed through nicely without looking vulgar. The sales lady had said it was from one of their bridal wear collections and although expensive she felt it was worth every penny.

She made a quick trip through the market picking up a few things for the meal she wanted to make for them, then stowing everything in her car began the long drive back to Smallville.

Once she got home she hung her purchases away with care and quickly tidied up the house, changing the bed linen so everything would be clean and fresh and ensured there were plenty of candles for when they would be needed.

She'd made sure that her house was tidy, that everything was just so and waited anxiously for Clark to arrive but as the time ticked away with still no sign of him, she periodically checked her phone to make sure the connection hadn't been cut or looked out the window in hopes of seeing him arrive.

Deciding to keep busy she began to prepare the meal, she didn't know what time he'd be arriving but wanted everything ready so that when he came, she could spend it with him and not fussing with food preparation.

It wasn't long before the house smelt of fresh baking bread and American pot roast, the table was set with her very best china and crystal, the roses in the centre of the table smelt lovely and looked beautiful, everything was just perfect.

At 1 o'clock she made herself some lunch, checked the dinner, and made dessert. She couldn't settle, her nerves were all on end, she couldn't wait for Clark to arrive, but the longer he was taking the harder it was not to worry.

More than likely he was talking to Lois, his mom and Chloe and was getting a hard time from everyone. Maybe she should have stayed and helped him to face the music. She'd thought that he needed time and space to process everything so left; but now wondered if she should have stayed to be his anchor while those around him berated him for his change of heart.

He used to be so impulsive, so daring when he was younger, at one time there wasn't anything he wouldn't have done for her. He'd almost killed Lex because of her and she wanted that Clark back. She didn't want him to kill anyone but she wanted back the man who understood that love made its own rules and had no boundaries. She wanted back the man who wouldn't let anyone stand in the way of them being together, and could now only trust that he wouldn't let himself be swayed by those around him.

He'd been both furious and caught off guard this morning, but after she told him how she really felt, after she laid her heart at his feet, she thought he would have worked through his anger, accepted his feelings and come to her by now. She knew how hard it was to face something you didn't want to, and wished there was another way, a kinder way that she could have showed him but there wasn't.

No matter how the cards had been dealt he was going to hurt Lois when her left her. He had hurt her by being with Lois in the first place, she'd hurt him by being with Lex, unfortunately that was their past and couldn't be buried; they just had to accept it and move on.

She didn't like that he'd been with Lois but she had married Lex and there had been two other men she'd had sex with, so she couldn't hold his relationship with Lois over his head, she didn't even want to. As far as she was concerned Lois was his past, never to be referred to again, she was his future and ultimately that was all that mattered.

Last night had been so wonderful, sleeping with Clark, touching him, smoothing her hand over his chest and arms and kissing him. Ok, at first it might have been the spell but she just _knew_ that he must have known on some level that it was her.

For the first time in years she'd been with Clark again and feeling his body against hers had been glorious. She wished he hadn't been wearing any clothes, then she could have felt him completely against her, but what she'd experienced was still more than she'd had for years, and nothing compared to what she would soon have for the rest of her life.

The first and only time they'd made love they'd been kids on the verge of adulthood. They'd been nervous and scared, and she'd cried when it hurt. He'd been so comforting and apologetic, kissing and stroking her, whispering his love and saying how sorry he was for hurting her. She'd felt uncomfortable and strange having him inside her, and even though being with Clark, being close to him had been nice, she remembered expecting more and being bitterly disappointed that it wasn't the way it was depicted in the movies.

When she woke up the next morning and saw Clark's sleeping face, she'd been happy. Even though the experience hadn't been as enjoyable as expected, she'd still been thrilled that she had given herself to the boy she loved, who in turn loved her. When Clark woke up, she'd smiled and he'd smiled back, and both been glad that they'd waited and unlocked the secrets of making love together.

They couldn't go back, their first time was long past and although she didn't like to think of it, they had both been with other people since then, they were no longer two young virgins learning about sex and love together.

When she was younger she'd wasted so much time going out with other boys and Clark had waited patiently and faithfully for her through it all. He'd loved her, helped her and quietly pursued her. It was only when she was with Lex that he hadn't been so patient, he'd been more forceful doing everything he could to get her back, to make her realise they belonged together.

And now that she'd done the same for him, opened his eyes to the truth, showed him how much she loved him, told him how much she regretted her marriage, how foolish she'd been when she threw him away; she felt more confident and buoyant than she had in years. Confession really was good for the soul, most everything she'd been repressing was finally out and she almost felt giddy with relief. The only thing she hadn't revealed was her hatred of Lois, but there was no point in that, he'd already been hurting and it would have been cruel to let him know just how much she hated the woman that had stolen him, that had been instrumental in keeping them apart.

Closing her eyes she imagined their wedding, from the ceremony to the reception, their friends and family gathered around to wish them happiness, she even knew the dress that she'd wear. She hadn't been able to stop herself from purchasing several bridal magazines and when she saw the dress had fallen in love with it instantly. It was the most beautiful wedding dress she'd ever seen; French taffeta bateau neckline with tulip sleeves. A-line skirt, cinched waistband overlay with beaded medallions and a semi-cathedral train.

In some of her more bleaker moments she never thought that she'd get to wear it, her heart had tried to tell her that Clark wasn't lost to her for good, that they would be together, but there were times when she'd nearly lost both faith and hope. But now their moment had almost arrived, she could see him looking so handsome and proud in his tux, turning to watch her walking down the aisle, his eyes would glisten with love for her and expectation of their lives together. And she'd be smiling; this time she wouldn't be the sad bride, the bride who wanted to love the man she was going to marry but couldn't, this time she'd all but run to the altar.

Opening her eyes she looked down at her clothes and grimaced. When he came she wanted to be ready and deciding to have a quick shower raced upstairs, slipped off her clothes and stepped under the spray.

Lathering her body with the shower puff thoughts of Clark once again entered her mind, he'd be here soon, they'd be together again and he'd touch her just the way that she'd dreamt of for so long. It wasn't until her breasts became sensitive to the light scratching that she realised she'd been running the puff back and forth over them. Dropping the puff she closed her eyes and began to touch herself, before long her gasps became pants until she softly breathed out Clark's name then began to softly weep. How many times had she done that; pretend it was Clark who was touching her, loving her?

She'd been half awake when he caressed her this morning and it felt so wonderful, feeling his hand stroke her back and her bottom, feeling him cuddle her gently closer. She'd tucked her face into his neck just breathing in his scent, and allowed her legs to fall either side of his, then pressed down slightly. She'd obviously drifted back to sleep because next thing she knew he was calling out her name and waking her up.

For years she'd dreamt and the dreams were so real that when she woke up, she expected him to be there but when she saw that the other side of the bed was empty and realised that it was just a dream, she'd pressed her face into the pillow and cried bitterly, but from tonight that was all in the past and she would no longer need to dream.

Stepping out of the shower, she smoothed on lotion, put on the chemise and the dress, did her make-up, sprayed on perfume, and after stepping into her shoes gave herself one last look in the mirror before nodding in satisfaction and returning downstairs.

It was still early, not quite 3 o'clock but she didn't want to the weak glare of the winter sun filtering in the room; she wanted the room to shout romance, so quickly pulled the drapes and lit the candles on the table. Casting the table one last look, she straightened a knife and when the knock on the door came, closed her eyes, breathed deep then hurried down the hall and opened the front door to find Clark standing on the stoop.

oOo

This was the last place he wanted to be, this was the last conversation he wanted to be having and when Lana opened the door and he saw that she had obviously taken pains with her appearance, when he saw her eyes shining with passion and longing he wanted to turn around and walk away. But he'd been blind for too long, he'd been ignorant for too long and this situation had been developing for too long.

"Hi, come in, I was wondering when you were coming over. I know that I dropped a load on you this morning and made you face up to stuff that wasn't easy, but I was getting worried all the same." She reached out to grasp his hand but he stepped around her and into the house.

"We need to talk." He didn't want to waste time on pleasantries, he wanted this over and then he wanted to leave.

"I know but can't that wait? Right now all I want is for you to hold me and tell me that you love me."

Her face shone with happiness as she led him into the lounge but when she gestured for him to make himself comfortable and he just stood in the middle of the room she lightly frowned. When she noticed his eyes travelling around the room taking in the full effect of her preparations, the frown disappeared and anticipation for his approval took its place.

The room looked romantic and flawless. No detail had been too small, she'd wanted everything to be perfect for them, and had been almost painstaking in her efforts. She hoped that he was pleased with the results and couldn't wait for him to see the bedroom, to see where they would begin their first official night back in each other's arms.

_The room screamed romance. The drapes had been pulled creating an intimate atmosphere, through the archway he could see long stemmed red candles sitting in silver holders on a table covered with white linen. In the candles glow silverware glinted, crystal gleamed, and the chinaware looked beautiful. There were flowers, champagne chilling in a bucket, soft music playing in the background, the house smelled of the roses and whatever was cooking and it was clear by her expression that she had no doubts that he was here to tell her that he loved her. _His stomach sank_, he was still mad as hell, but he didn't want to be harsh, he didn't enjoy hurting people just for the hell of it._

_When Lois didn't love him, when Lois wouldn't go out with him he remembered how much he'd hurt and he didn't want to inflict that pain on anyone else. Despite everything he'd come here determined to be calm but firm, he didn't want her to have any reason to believe he wanted her back, but he still wanted to let her down easily. However, by the look of the room and her face, she wasn't going to make this easy on either of them._

Scrubbing his hands over his face, he took a deep breath and once again mentally told himself to be cool, calm and collected then turned to face her."Look Lana…"

"Hang on, I have something, let me just get it." Her voice was buoyant as she ran to the stereo, changed the music then turned to face him full of anticipation.

_God what now? _When he heard the song come on he couldn't figure out what she expected from him, but the expression on her face made it clear the song was important, and that she'd counted on him becoming swept away by it.

"Do you remember this?" Her tone and countenance clearly expected him to say yes.

"No!"

"You don't; Clark it's our song!" She prodded all but dancing with excitement.

"We don't have a song." He said quietly.

"It's, 'You and Me' it was playing at the prom when we danced, remember?" She smiled and prompted again.

"No, I don't remember and we don't have a song." He repeated firmly.

"I've always thought of it as our song, and hoped that you did too." Her face deflated, the disappointment in her eyes clear to see. "I guess these things aren't as important to men as women, but still, that night was pretty special and I hoped that …never mind; you're here now and that's all that matters." She nodded and recovered her composure but frowned lightly when she walked to him and he pulled his hand out of reach.

"Lana…"

"That night was so special, I already knew that I loved you; but that night I realised I always would." Her voice shook with feeling and her eyes glistened.

"Lana sit down."

"Will you dance with me, hold me close like you did that night?" She asked huskily holding out her hand in expectation of it being taken.

"God, Lana will just be quiet and sit down!" He sped over to the stereo and turned the disc off. When he turned back around she was sitting on the couch with a hurt expression on her face and he realised that he just didn't care.

"Clark what's wrong?"

"_What's wrong_, where do I start? First of all, I didn't appreciate waking up and finding you naked in bed with me this morning, second I don't appreciate you assuming that I'm here to be with you again and third I'm mad as hell at you Lana and don't feel like dancing or listening to music or damn well holding you, got it!"

"I don't understand."

He took a deep breath to calm himself and was grateful when his next words came out in a temperate manner. "I know; look Lana I don't love you. What we had, what I felt for you was puppy love, a crush, infatuation. It's the same thing most teenagers go through and it can be brutal, but it's usually just an attempt for one teenager to connect with another person but it's NOT love."

"I know about puppy love Clark but that's not what we had. We loved each other, I've only ever loved one man and that's you. What we had, what we still have is love." Her voice rang with confidence and assurance and when she rose and came towards him, he stepped back keeping his distance.

"I don't love you."

"Clark how many times did you tell me that you did? How many times did you tell everyone that you loved me? You used to tell me, show me all the time." As the realisation slammed into her, her eyes began to fill with tears. _She didn't know if he was still denying the truth to himself, or if the others condemnations had gotten to him, but either way she knew that she was losing him_; rubbing shaking fingers over her brow, she stepped back and sank down onto the couch. "Remember when I was engaged to Lex, you told me that if I ever changed my mind, if I ever wanted you back that you'd be waiting. You told me that you'd wait for me forever." _Please Clark remember how you felt, remember how much you used to love me, please._

"God Lana, I was just a kid, what the hell did I know about love, before I ever spoke to you I built you up in my head as this perfect girl that I wanted to be with, but it was _**never**_ love." His voice was quiet and controlled, but the hand resting on the mantle clenched and quickly released before dropping to his side. _What else could he say, how many times did he have to say it before she believed him._

"Yes it was! You told me that you loved me since you were five Clark; five! You told me that you always would, you told me that you KNEW we were always meant to be together, you told me…" Her breath hitched in her throat but she gamely went on "You told me that you never wanted to be with anyone but me; you told me that…that when we were together it's what you'd always dreamed off. You told me all that Clark, you did." She insisted coughing softly to banish the tears that were starting to clog her throat.

Sighing he ran his hand over the back of his neck and nodded sadly. "I know but let me tell you something that I've learnt since then Lana; love, like forgiveness and respect first comes from within. When I was a kid and told you and everyone else how much I loved you, did you know that I hated myself?" When she looked shocked he nodded. "I hated being an alien instead of being human, I hated having powers instead of being normal, I hated being different, I _hated_ myself Lana. So tell me, how could I have loved you when I didn't even _like_ myself?"

"You loved your parents." She challenged quietly.

"Yes, but we both know that loving your parents is different to romantic love. I said that I wanted you to be happy, I said that I wanted to make you happy, but how could I hope to do that when I wanted you to be with someone that I hated?" This time there was no response and he nodded again. "You see; I couldn't. I wanted you because you represented all the things I desired. Broken down into a nutshell it comes down to one word; normality, I wanted normality and you represented that."

"No, it was more than that; it was." She insisted quietly when he shook his head.

"No it wasn't." He shook his head and refuted calmly. "If my family hadn't lived in Smallville when I was a boy, if we'd lived somewhere else, there would have been another girl that I would have fallen for and pursued just as diligently as I did you. You see Lana, the girl would have changed but I wouldn't have. I still would have wanted to be normal more than anything, and would have looked to another girl to give me the stability that I craved." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears, her lip quivered and he could only hope that he was getting through. "But no matter where I lived or what I did with my life, eventually, one day I would have met Lois, and it would still be Lois that I'd want to build a life with, for no other reason than I loved her."

When she shook her head he sighed and went on. "Lana, you were just a by-product, you represented what I wanted at a time in my life when I was confused about everything." When her head continued to shake, he calmly finished but began to feel frustrated that she didn't _want_ to understand. "Lois is the one that I'll always need; she's the one my soul will never be satisfied without."

"No, you...you're just saying that because things didn't work out between us."

"I'm saying it because it's true. It was never about you Lana, it was always about me."

"I don't believe that, if what you're saying is true you would have given up on me Clark but you didn't; even when I was engaged to Lex you could have found someone else but you didn't, because it was still me that you wanted." Her head nodded.

"Yes but that was only because I wasn't ready to give up on childish dreams of living a normal life with you."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes before opening them to look at him. "Clark I know that you're scared and I know that you don't like hurting people and I understand that I do; but Lois needs to know the truth. She'll be hurt but she must know deep down that you and I were always meant to be together. And I know your mom and Chloe will be upset with us but you'll always have me Clark, we'll always have each other, I won't ever leave you again, I swear it." Her voice rang with passion and promise; she had to make him understand that the two of them were all that mattered.

Listening to her casually dismissing Lois, Clark's frustration boiled over and his calm demeanour vanished. "Oh for _**FUCKS**_ sake, listen to me. _I don't love you, I have never loved you_, do you get it yet; do you understand? If I lose Lois because of this I swear to god I'll hate you for the rest of my life."

'But…."

"But nothing! How dare you presume to tell me how I feel, how dare you assume that I would ever break up with Lois." He walked over, stood in front of her then leant down until his eyes were looking into hers. "For your information Lois _**never**_ pursued me, I talked her into dating me and I talked her into staying with me when she wanted to break up."

"What…What'd you mean?" She stuttered.

He kept his eyes locked on hers ensuring she saw everything. "I meant what I just said! When I told Lois that I loved her, she wanted to break up with me because she didn't love me then. It was me Lana ME! I pushed and pursued Lois to go out with me and when she tried to dump me I _**seduced**_ her. I used sex to get her into bed and then I told her that I wasn't giving her up. If I had ever wanted you, would I have put myself through any of that with Lois, NO!" He straightened up, walked to the opposite side of the room, grimaced at the table setting then turned around to face her once again.

"But you and Lois never show any kind of affection in public, I've watched you both, you act like friends not lovers." She stood up and faced him, her mouth trembled, her eyes shone with suppressed tears but her voice was firm. "Don't forget I was at your apartment when she came home one time, you didn't even bother to peck her on the cheek when she arrived, so I know that your sex life must be lousy."

"Lousy!" He said incredulous. "Our sex life is very healthy and depending on the mood it's romantic, fun or damn intense but it's _**never**_ lousy. I can't keep my hands of Lois, and you must have seen us kissing because no one normally makes that much noise just entering a room."

"But that's just sex and…"

"No it's not just sex; it's not just anything other than LOVE. That night you were at our apartment the minute you went to the bathroom I was all over Lois, the second you went home I dragged her off to bed, our reasons for not acting out in public is our business, but let me assure you there's hardly a night or day that goes by that Lois and I _**don't**_ make love." He said emphatically.

"I don't want to hear about your sex life." She turned her face away but swung back when he started talking again. Her heart hurt and her stomach clenched, _she didn't want to hear this, she didn't want to listen to any of it._

"I have no intention of telling you about it, but I DO intend for you to understand that Lois and I love each other and we have sex, make love, whatever you want to call it very _**frequently**_. Now answer me this, if I really loved you, would I want to do that with Lois?" He asked in a voice clearly demanding an answer.

Looking at his face, seeing the stern cast to his features, hearing the ruthless tone in his voice, her confidence began to shake, she swallowed hard and fell back onto the couch, "I…but I love you Clark and I know that you love me, I've always known. Lois is just using you, she's trying to push you into marriage; she's trying to steal you from me."

"I'm not _**yours**_ to steal, I belong body and soul to Lois. She's not trying to push me into anything, I wanted Lois to marry me but we only got engaged when _**she**_ was ready. If Lois changed her mind and decided not to marry me, we'd still stay together because married or not, we love each other." He saw the shock and hurt in her eyes and sighing heavily he sat down in the facing recliner.

On the drive he'd rehearsed what he wanted to say but it had quickly been forgotten when she mentioned Lois. He'd never meant to tell her anything about his relationship with Lois; that was private and concerned only the two of them but obviously it was what she needed to hear. She hadn't listened when he said he didn't love her, she'd refuted everything he'd said before but she was listening now, and he could see not only her certainty waver, but the anguish in her eyes. Chloe had been right, sometimes being nice achieved nothing. He was going to have to keep hitting her with the hard facts, and was surprised that he didn't feel as bad about it as he'd expected.

"Do you know how I got Lois to go out with me in the first place; I LIED to her. I pretended that I didn't love her; I told her I was uncomfortable going out with someone new, and convinced her that because we get along so well as friends that we should try dating. Lois _**never**_ played me; I PLAYED HER!" His voice was almost conversational but the ruthless tone was still audible; he intended to ensure that she couldn't take his words and twist them to suit herself after he was gone.

"Are you…are you saying that you don't love me?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I DON'T love you and if I lose Lois because of what you did, I'll never forgive you for it, are we clear now?" He replied firmly.

"I love you Clark."

"Love isn't selfish; it means you care more about the other person than you do about yourself. Loving someone isn't an obligation, it's a giving. The other persons pain becomes your own and love is tolerant and accepting. Quite frankly everything you've said shows that you haven't changed one iota from when you were a kid; you don't know what love is, you've never known, it seems to be beyond your scope. You always expected something in return for your love and if you had really loved me, no matter how much it hurt, you would have been happy to see me happy, even if it was with Lois."

"I'm not selfish and I do love you. You hated it when I was with Lex, you tried to get me back. You begged me to take you back; you kissed me and begged me. If you had really loved me you would have let me be with Lex even though you didn't trust him." She wiped her hand over her cheeks and firmed her chin.

"Yeah and did you just hear yourself, **IF**; if I had really loved you but I didn't, at that stage of my life I didn't even know what love was. I was as selfish then as you still are now." He rose and paced to the mantle before continuing. "I admit that part of my reason was to save you from Lex, but your happiness didn't even come into the equation. I _**said**_ that I wanted you to be happy, but the truth is, whether you were happy with Lex or not, whether you wanted to be with him or not, wasn't all that important to me."

"I don't….I don't believe you." The tears were flowing too fast to wipe away, she shook her head in denial, while her heart clenched tight in her breast.

"It's true! It brings me absolutely no credit to admit it, but it's true. If I had really loved you and desired your happiness, no matter how I felt about Lex, I would have respected your decision when you told me that you were marrying him; but I didn't, because what I wanted was the only thing that mattered. Not you Lana, just ME." He said with emphasis.

"No, you…you loved me, that's why you tried to save me, it was love, that's what it was, love."

"No it wasn't."

"I don't believe you, you're lying."

"I'm not lying and you know it, in your heart you _**know**_ it." He repeated when she kept shaking her head back and forth. He had to get out of there; he'd said what needed saying and now just wanted to leave. "LANA." His voice was loud and forceful and her eyes swung to his at her name. "I'm not debating this with you, I'm telling you that I know how I feel and who I love and it's not you, it's Lois." When her head started shaking again he repeated louder. "I LOVE LOIS, and frankly I don't care whether you believe me or not, but I want you to stay away, far away from both of us; I don't want you anywhere within our vicinity, CLEAR!"

"What'd you mean?" She stood up, and searched his face for any hint of softness but found none.

"I've just said what I mean. You're not welcome in my life, I don't want you in any part of my life and I wish to god I'd never laid eyes on you." He finished quietly before turning on his heel and walking out the door.

"No, no Clark, Clark…CLAAAAARK!"

He heard her scream his name; he could hear her crying and felt a stir of pity but not enough to go back and comfort her.

Why did he never see how selfish, how self centred she was. Why was it only after she was married to Lex did he force himself to see just how manipulative she could be? And how on earth even knowing _that_ could he ever have been tempted to try with her again?

He hadn't just been a fool; he'd been a wilfully blind and stupid fool. Why hadn't he seen that she hadn't changed at all when she first came to see him at the Planet, and why hadn't he noticed her hatred of Lois. He'd seen it today, every time he mentioned Lois, he'd seen the hatred and any time he spoke about their relationship the look in her eyes had been full of animosity at Lois and hurt at him.

He thought that Lois and he could talk about anything but she hadn't said a word about Lana and if what young Lois had said was true, and if by the look in Lana's eyes tonight was any indication, then Lois must have seen Lana's antipathy for her. He'd apologise for making her feel that she could never come to him about it.

God she could have hurt Lois anytime these past couple of years and he never would have suspected her. If he made Lois feel that Lana was a closed subject, a person that she couldn't talk frankly about because of his past history with her, he'd never forgive himself.

That was assuming that she ever talked to him again after she found out what had happened. Lois had a big heart but she'd see it as a betrayal and he couldn't fool himself it was a betrayal.

He drove back to the farm trying to think of ways he could tell her, trying to think up arguments so that she wouldn't leave him, so she wouldn't hate him but all he could see was the bruised look in her eyes that he had touched Lana, slept with Lana and had never suspected that it wasn't his fiancé that he was with.

He automatically switched the wipers on when it started to rain but no matter how fast the wipers were moving it didn't help his vision, until he finally realised that it wasn't raining at all.

He pulled over to the side of the road, flung the door open and fell to the grass on his hands and knees. He wanted to throw up; he wanted to scream and shout but instead just hugged his knees, crying and silently begging Lois to forgive him.

When he finally grew quiet, he lay back on the grass and looked up at the sky feeling completely drained. Lana had always been like an emotional vampire, sucking him dry time and again. When they were dating, hell even when they weren't dating, he'd only been happy with her for brief snatches of time, and now she was going to be instrumental in taking away all the joy in his life by causing him to lose Lois.

He didn't regret anything he'd said to Lana, just wished that he'd said it years ago instead. He actually felt good, free, as if the monkey on his back was finally gone. Although he'd gotten over his infatuation for her years ago, unknowingly he'd still been carrying around the guilt of pursuing her so doggedly for his own selfish reasons. However, for the first time he could finally see the situation clearly.

Lex had called it when he was talking to Superman, he'd obviously long seen the truth and he'd been completely right.

When he was younger he'd had an unhealthy obsession for Lana. He'd thought and fantasised about her for years, but instead of being creeped out by it and utterly squashing any hope that he had, she'd done everything she could to foster it, and encourage him. She'd stayed tantalisingly close enough to keep his interest in her alive, but just out of reach enough to make him all the more determined to get her.

Most anyone that discovered someone had been dreaming and thinking and obsessing about them for years, would feel threatened or scared. They wouldn't find it flattering or romantic, but menacing. More than likely they'd tell the person to piss off, or threaten to get a restraining order if they didn't leave them alone, but Lana had never done that.

Even when she was angry or hurt it hadn't stopped her from seeking him out. She'd come to his loft alone, hell she'd wait for him to arrive if he wasn't there, but she'd come, usually on some bullshit pretext or another; quite often when she already had a boyfriend. She'd come and talk to him, sit with him and subtly do little things to let him know that she enjoyed his attention, and give him enough hope that maybe someday they'd be together if he just held on.

He'd only learnt of her obsession with him this morning, he'd only found out about her stealing his shirt when Lois revealed it at lunch, and instead of being charmed, flattered, or even slightly allured by it, he'd felt revolted and he was a grow man with superpowers not a teenage girl, so exactly what did that say about Lana?

Shaking the thoughts away he looked at his watch then climbed back into the truck, he had to get back to the farm; like Lois he didn't want to be far away in case anything happened.

He pulled up in front of the house, walked in the door and wasn't surprised when all eyes swung in his direction.

"We don't need all the gory details but how'd it go?" Chloe asked sympathetically.

"About what you'd expect, she said that she loved me, insisted that Lois had stolen me away and utterly refused to accept that I didn't love her. But I made it clear how I felt, I wasn't polite about it, I pretty much had to rub her nose in it before she understood." He sighed, rubbed a hand through his hair and smiled slightly when his mom handed him a cup of coffee.

"I'm sorry honey, I know it couldn't have been easy but it really was necessary." Martha replied taking his hand and leading him to the kitchen table.

"I know but as hard as it was, it's Joanne that's on my mind right now, not Lana."

"Umm can I just ask; Lana knows you're Superman, so what's to stop her from telling the world just to get back at you?" Lois asked quietly taking a seat beside Chloe.

"I don't think she will but I can't stop what she's going to do. If she does tell everyone, I'll deal with it; but there was just no way that I was going to let this go on."

"Fair enough, I really am sorry Clark, I know for all of you it's been years, but Skipper would never say or do anything to hurt Lana, so I can imagine it wasn't easy."

"Actually it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I don't care about the past; I don't care about how much I used to like Lana, all I care about is Joanne." He wanted Lois to understand that Joanne was the **all** that he was concerned with.

"I'm still sorry." She replied patting his hand. "Ok, well I'm just going for a shower, if I'm going to be back in the hospital soon, then I really need a shower before I find myself waking up in a hospital bed, and I know how dumb that sounds since this body will stay here and my body is already lying in a hospital bed but…oh forget it, I know what I mean." She said when they all looked at her with raised brows and shaking her head, she stood and walked upstairs.

They all smiled and looked at each other, none of them were surprised that they'd understood Lois' rambling speech.

Grasping his hand Martha's smile vanished. "Honey, I can see you've been crying, so how hard was it for you really."

"It wasn't mom, what I just said was true. I just can't stop thinking about Joanne and our future and knowing that because of what Lana did; we might not have a future." He said sadly. He thought he was all cried out but could feel tears gathering again and swiped his hand across his eyes.

"Clark we'll think of something for you to tell Joanne. I don't mean lie to her, we'll all talk to her; let her know that Lana was the one at fault, not you, that Lana got into bed with you." Chloe nodded and grasped his arm.

"Lana did that Chloe but it was still me that didn't know it was Lana I was holding, Lana I was touching and not her. That's what kills me, she's going to wonder if I ever imagined she was Lana when we…when we made love."

"Joanne knows that you love her Clark; she knows you wouldn't have been thinking off or about anyone else." Martha said rubbing his back in comfort.

"I want to believe that mom but I tried to imagine how I'd feel if the situation was reversed, and although I want to think that I'd understand; I can't honestly say that I would." He paused and posed the question that he already knew the answer to. "Would either of you understand if the man who loved you slept with someone else, if he held someone else while she was naked, touched someone else and didn't even know it wasn't you; be honest would you understand?" Looking at their faces he didn't need them to shake their heads.

"I'll tell Joanne that nothing happened and I know that she'll believe me, but when she realises that I couldn't even tell her body apart from Lana's she's going to be hurt, that's what's going to wound her; and the damage it's going to do our relationship is what I'm scared off."

Wiping his hand over his cheeks he gave a cheerless smile. "Last night I was looking forward to Joanne coming back, to having her back, holding her, talking to her and now…" He trailed off, looked at his watch and shook his head, "If everything works out she'll be back in a little over 2 hours; I've only got 2 hours to think of what to say so I don't have to watch her walk out of my life."

Standing up he walked towards the back door. "I'm just going outside, I'll be back before…before anything's supposed to happen but I just need to be alone right now." He opened the door then turned back around. "Chloe." When she looked up he smiled sadly, "I can't sleep in the loft tonight, I just can't sleep there; Joanne's not going to let me sleep with her, so I'm going to sleep in the living room with you. Don't worry Chlo, you can still have the couch, I'll sleep on the floor, ok." He stepped outside and closed the door quietly at his back.

OoO

"God this is just getting worse." Chloe sighed rubbing her forehead.

"I know, Joanne's supposed to be back soon, and on the one hand he can't wait but on the other he's scared that when she comes back it's going to be over. I don't think he knows what he wants because he wants her back but …." Martha trailed off and turned to face the wall, wishing for once that she had x-ray vision herself so she could check up on her boy.

"But he knows that when she comes back he's not going to have time to enjoy it before everything falls apart." Chloe finished quietly.

Nodding her head Martha turned back around. "Yes, I don't think he's going to give up on them, but he's already fought so hard for her, and he was so close to what he's wanted for so long and this has put him…."

"Back at the beginning?" Chloe cut in hesitantly when Martha stumbled to a halt.

"Worse, he's going to be back at the beginning with a serious handicap."

"We have to help him!" Chloe said decisively. "I know it's not going to be easy, Joanne's going to hurt like hell and…. god I just wanna slap Lana for doing this to them." She said in frustration, pushing her hands through her hair.

"Me too." Martha nodded at the astonishment on Chloe's face. "She hurt my son, she hurt my baby and when Joanne gets back she's going to be hurt by Lana's selfishness as well, so yes I want to slap her too."

"Maybe we can ask Lois for some advice on what he could do or say. I don't think Clark wants to ask her because technically although she's not his fiancée; she is and it's harder again because she looks like Joanne, but maybe she really would be the best person to ask."

"It's an idea, she knows herself best and she'd know not only how Joanne will react but the easiest way to tell her." Martha smiled wanly.

"Do you want to ask on behalf of your son or do you want me to ask on behalf of my cousin?"

"I don't mind, she'll know why we're asking and although Lois won't be comfortable with the conversation, she's not a cruel person; she'd never try and give us advice on a subject like this that could devastate Clark."

"I agree. Ok, when she gets out of the shower, I'll go up and talk to her." Chloe nodded, picked up Clark's discarded coffee and drained it, then grimaced at the overly sweet taste of real sugar and full cream milk.

OoO

Standing at the fence Clark's eyes were staring at the view but not seeing anything. He was thinking about Skipper and the delusion he was living in. Right now Skipper thought he loved Lana and would be dreaming of being with her again. Right now although miserable, Skipper was living in a fool's paradise believing he'd experienced love with a wonderful girl, but completely blind to the reality that everything he knew about love and Lana Lang was a lie through and through.

He'd been so infatuated with Lana that someone like Lois didn't interest him. At that stage of his life he was used to girls who were fairly sweet, or projected an aura of sweetness, helplessness and ones who could whimper and cry on demand.

He wasn't used to and didn't like take charge, take care of themselves, assertive, no holds barred type of females; ones who didn't need and certainly didn't want to be looked after and cosseted.

When Lois was pissed off, she let him know it and she let him know why, she didn't play word games or give tearful speeches, she made herself clear; in his Lana days he'd hated that. He was used to Lana's constant drama, tears, tantrums and demands. Of course back then he hadn't thought of it like that, he just thought that Lana was a sensitive, gentle female and Lois had all the sensitivity of a bulldozer.

He hadn't liked it when Lana was upset but it was familiar and he knew how to handle it. Lois had been a complete mystery and not one he was overly interested in solving, that would have taken time away from his Lana worship, he snorted derisively.

He'd been so naïve, so young, he really believed that with Lana he'd felt real and eternal love and when she was with Lex and lost to him, he'd been miserable and expected to be so for the rest of his life. He thought that his life would be empty and meaningless, that he'd never marry, never love anyone again; completely unaware that he'd never experienced real love only a pale facsimile of it. He'd been such a boy.

He'd been utterly blind to both Lana and Lois. One pretending to be nice and sweet just hoping to find a man to look after her and build a home with; but with a core of hardness deep inside. Always wanting to be right, always needing to have her own way, and always demanding something in return for any friendship or affection she bestowed; whether it be total honesty without offering the same in return or absolute devotion, expecting to always come first without question.

And the other who was prickly and sarcastic on the outside, but with a softness that she hid from everyone but those closest to her. It was Lois who had the beautiful heart, who didn't play games, who could admit when she was wrong. Lois who expected everyone to help their fellow man without getting anything in return, and Lois who loved to be cosseted and looked after; although she pretended to suffer through it just for him.

Lois was the diamond, the genuine article and Lana the cubic zircon, the fake and the phoney.

His relationship with Lana had been all about preparation, getting him ready for the main event, for when he truly fell in love, and it was something he'd regret for the rest of his life because one way or another, it was the one thing that was going to cost him Lois.

He didn't know what he was going to say to convince Lois to forgive him, to give him another chance, to explain what even he couldn't understand himself; all he knew was that he couldn't give up on them. If he had to spend the rest of his life convincing her that it was her and ONLY her that he loved and wanted, he would consider it time well spent.

Pressing the heels of his hands hard against his eyes his mind once again ran over the words that were like a never ending mantra _God Lo, please don't leave me, I don't want Lana; I've never once pretended you were her. I'm sorry, I'm so goddamn sorry that I didn't know it wasn't you. Please baby, give me a chance._

His hands dropped, one came to rest on the fence while the other dug into his pocket and pulled out Lois' engagement ring, looking down at it he smiled, remembering the moment he put it on her finger.

She'd asked him to marry her the night before and while he was on a Superman call the next day he'd stopped in at a jeweller and bought the ring before heading back to work. He didn't have to take time looking for a ring and deciding on what to get, he'd begun looking at rings the day after she told him that she loved him, and had already seen the ring he wanted her to have. Over the next few months he'd periodically checked the display case, relieved when he saw the ring hadn't been sold and considered it another sign that it was meant for his beloved.

He didn't know much about diamonds, he knew even less about the various different stone cuts or ring styles and design, he just knew what he liked and this ring had been it. When he'd gone into the store the owner had practically sung the rings praises explaining that it was and Art Deco 18 carat yellow gold with stepped diamond shoulders, which emphasized the princess-cut central diamond. He'd smiled and nodded, then shrugged and said that he wanted it.

That night after dinner, Lois and he had been sitting on the couch necking when he reached into his pocket, brought out the ring and slipped it onto her finger. It was only when she felt the cool metal that she had even realised what he'd done.

She'd sat up straight, looked at the ring, looked at him and smiled nervously. "It's so beautiful Clark, when did you get it?"

"Today, I saw it months ago and kept checking that it hadn't been sold and today I went and bought it." He replied, satisfaction gleaming in his eyes at seeing his ring on her finger.

"Months ago?" Lois questioned with lifted brow.

"Uh huh, months ago." He confirmed nodding his head. "Baby I started looking the day after you told me that you loved me; if you were never ready for marriage it wouldn't have mattered, but I wanted something just in case you ever were."

She blew out her breath and grinned "So it's official huh?"

"Hmm hmm, getting nervous?" He asked tugging her back into his arms.

"Of course not, I was the one who proposed after all." Her hand rested on his chest but he could still see a hint of nervousness in her eyes.

"So you were." He smiled, lifted her hand and kissed her fingers, "I love you Lo, if you hadn't asked me to marry you I'd still feel like the luckiest man in the world, but now that you have I'm holding onto you; not that I ever had any intention of doing otherwise."

"Is that right?"

"That's exactly right, you know that I'd do anything for you Lois; but one thing I won't do is ever let you go." He smiled and patted her leg but they both knew he meant every word.

"That's not quite anything." She teased laying her head on his shoulder.

"If you try and leave me I'll just have to chain you up until you change your mind." He mock threatened.

"You probably would at that." She gurgled out a laugh. "It's a beautiful ring Clark, thank you." She leant up and kissed him lightly, looked down at the ring, back into his eyes and smiled. "But just so you know, if you try and get away I wouldn't waste time chaining you up, I'd just kill you; so you'd better remember _that_ Superman." She threatened in return before kissing him again.

Shaking his head he came back to the present, and looked at his watch, he felt like a prisoner waiting for a stay of execution. The time was flying past; the hours and minutes ticking away quickly to the moment his life would fall apart, and at the same time waiting for his fiancé to return seemed to be taking forever.

He had to keep busy, it was time to feed the animals and he needed to keep occupied because soon all he'd be occupied with was trying to keep his fiancé from walking away.


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter 32**

After Clark left, Lana lay curled up on the couch, gut wrenching sobs that came from her soul were torn out of her throat and eventually her body could sustain no more. Her stomach began to contract and heave and she had to run to the toilet to throw up what little that was left in there.

When she tried to stand her legs wobbled and she had to sit on the toilet seat, taking several deep breaths before attempting to stand for the second time. Her throat was so sore that it was difficult to swallow and when she finally dragged herself to the basin and saw her face in the mirror she was appalled to find her eyes were swollen and her make-up streaked all over, giving her the appearance of a hideous and deformed caricature.

Stumbling into the kitchen she turned off the oven, blew out the candles, then looked at the table setting and through the archway into lounge room. Everything looked perfect, flawless, except nothing was. She wanted to lift her arm and sweep everything onto the floor, break the glasses, crush the flowers, grind and smash and demolish everything but she couldn't. This was all she had left, the shattered dreams of this room was all she had left and she couldn't destroy what she'd spent painstaking hours creating, she wanted to believe for a little longer that Clark was yet to arrive.

Tears began to trickle down her cheeks and turning away from the room she walked up the stairs, through her bedroom, to the bathroom, stepped into the shower, turned the taps on full and let the water beat against her bowed head.

Opening her eyes she saw the dress and began to claw frantically at the sodden material, popping buttons, ripping seams and with a final wrench managed to get the garment off and throw it in the corner, then she began to pull and tear at the chemise until the lace ripped leaving it in tatters and once done, lay naked on the floor of the shower letting the water beat down on her. It was only when she started feeling chilled that she realised the water must have been running cold for some time and twisting the taps off, dragged herself out of the shower, wet a washcloth, hastily slipped on Clark's shirt, and lay down on her bed with the wet cloth over her eyes hoping to take some of the swelling down and ease the sting.

Clark had never spoken to her like that before, NEVER. He'd been so cruel and cold, completely brutal. It was almost as if he had enjoyed telling her about his life with Lois, rubbing her nose into how much he liked having sex with Lois.

Clark wasn't a cruel person; he just didn't have it in his nature. A couple of times his voice had risen and he'd yelled but most of the time his voice had been quiet almost conversational, but with a hardness, a ruthless edge to it that she'd never heard before, and his face hadn't shown any softness at all.

He'd told her to stay way; he'd told her that she wasn't welcome in his home or in his life. She couldn't even talk to him and felt tears start to slip quietly down the sides of her face at the thought of forever being cut off from him.

Her heart began to hammer, her breath started to wheeze in her chest and throwing off the cloth she sat up quickly and dropped her head between her knees. Closing her eyes she took one deep breath, held it and released then repeated the exercise over and over until her heart stopped beating in her ears and she could breathe more easily.

Switching the electric blanket on to its highest setting, she crawled under the covers and curled into a ball trying to get warm. She felt bitterly cold, and lay shivering in the bed waiting for the warmth of the blanket to seep through to her chilled bones. Once or twice she had to straighten out to rub at her cramped muscles, but finally she could feel the heat and uncurled herself.

She couldn't lose him, she had to do something, but her mind couldn't settle. She just kept seeing his face, hearing his voice. She didn't know what to do and right now all she wanted was to sleep, to forget everything and just sleep.

OoO

Chloe and Martha were in the process of making dinner when they heard the shower stop and looked at each other.

"I'll go up and talk to her." Chloe said turning for the stairs.

"Wait dear, let's give her some time to get dressed and dry her hair, we're both anxious for you to talk to her but we don't want her to feel ambushed, so we'll just give her a little time, ok?"

Chloe nodded and sat back down. "Ok, you know I'll be surprised if anyone can eat the slop we've prepared." She pointed at what was supposed to be their dinner.

"I know, I'm thinking of putting this away and making a casserole out of it tomorrow. What'd you think about grilled cheese sandwiches and soup; after all none of us are going to care about what we're eating, we're going to be too busy staring between the clock and Lois." Martha smiled in return.

"Good idea." Silence followed but when Clark came back into the house and took a seat at the kitchen island the women looked at each other.

"What's going on?" He asked seeing the guilty expression on each woman's face.

"Nothing."

"Chloe, what's up?"

She looked at Martha who nodded and sighing told him, "I'm going to talk to Lois, I'm going to ask her for advice on how you can talk to Joanne about this."

"Chlo…"

"Clark no one knows Joanne better than Lois and she believes you Clark, she might be able to help." Chloe insisted grabbing his hand.

He nodded, rubbed the back of his neck and sighed. "I know that she believes me Chlo, but she asked me how I didn't know it was Lana and I couldn't answer. She didn't mention it again because she was more concerned thinking that I was cheating." When the women nodded he continued, "Joanne will want to know how I couldn't tell it was Lana, especially as she herself wasn't here, and once again I'm not going to be able to give her an answer."

"But maybe Lois can still help." Martha put in quietly.

"She can't mom, she can only help if I can answer the question and I can't. I'm going to tell Joanne the truth, I'm not going to sugar coat it because she'll hate me if she ever finds out, but I'm not going to give up on her either."

They nodded their heads in agreement and gave understanding smiles in return.

OoO

Lana opened her eyes, looked at the clock, and noted the time. Her hand automatically swept out running over the empty space beside her. Rolling over she looked out the window and saw that it was almost dark. She had a little over an hour, 1 hour and 3 minutes to be exact and still didn't know what to do.

She hadn't slept much, and what little sleep she'd managed had been disturbed. Clark's face, his voice as he'd spoken to her had haunted her dreams causing her to jerk awake periodically until she realised that sleep wasn't going to be a peaceful companion.

Clark had been utterly merciless and remembering all that he'd said tears filled her eyes and trickled down her cheeks and nose into the pillow. She didn't think she had any tears left to shed; her throat was so sore that swallowing was difficult and her eyes burned as the salt of new tears stung the bruised and swollen flesh.

He'd told her to stay away from him; if she went to the Kent farm to try and talk to him she wouldn't be welcome, for the first time in her life she wouldn't be welcome.

Even when he was with Joanne, Clark had never shut her out of his life before, Lois had only been here for 5 days and he'd told her that he wanted nothing to do with her. It hurt to see Clark with Joanne, but at least she could talk to him, spend time with him, now she no longer even had that privilege.

She wanted Clark back in her life in whatever capacity she could, and the only way she could think to accomplish that was by taking his memory of the previous night. She'd have to take everyone's memory because there was no doubt they were all aware of what had transpired. She couldn't not see him, not talk to him, she needed him and if the only way she could be with him right now was as a friend it was better than nothing.

Getting up she brushed her teeth, washed her face, gently patted it dry with a towel, then looked in the mirror and was dismayed at how pale her complexion was, making her red and swollen eyes stand out even more.

Retrieving the necessary items she sat on the bed, and closed her eyes. If she did this then only she would remember last night, only she would remember how wonderful it felt to lie with him but right now that was the only thing she could think of, and it was the one thing she could give him. He didn't want to face the truth, he wasn't ready for it, she'd pushed him too hard and too fast and he was resentful at the abrupt change.

Humans weren't used to rapid changes, they needed time to acclimate, to be able to switch from one emotion to another or they just went into shock. That was just one of the many reasons so many people couldn't deal with death. How could anyone switch from being happy, feeling loved and safe only to turn around a moment later to find the person they loved had died, leaving them alone and bereft.

And Clark was sensitive in a way that a lot of people weren't, he had strong feelings of empathy and compassion which was one reason so many people loved Superman. He was also a methodical man, he used to be so impetuous, but that was before he was Superman and truly understood that actions always have consequences, which more often than not turned out to be devastating, and a person had to live with them good or bad.

But she didn't have to live with hers; she had the choice to change it. She couldn't wipe all their memories of the day away, but she could eliminate any part she'd played in their thoughts and conversations. They'd all remember what they'd done, they'd even remember what they talked about, but they would also come realise there were gaps in their memoires and she could only pray they didn't become too suspicious of that.

Opening her eyes, she firmed her chin, cast the spell then bowed her head. It was done, she'd changed everything and this time it was for the best. Hopefully Joanne's pending return would be enough to side track any discussion about what they couldn't remember.

At least now she could see Clark, talk to him and she still had the painful but beautiful memories of sleeping in his arms once again. She still had that and no one could take it from her.

OoO

"Um I don't mean to sound stupid but what were we just talking about?" Chloe asked rubbing her ear, looking between Clark and Martha.

"I don't know, mom what were we talking about?" Clark asked with a confused expression on his face.

"I can't remember honey, but it can't be very important or we'd remember it." Martha shrugged.

"If it was just me I'd agree because I could have just tuned out or something, but neither of you remember either, don't you think that's kind of odd?" Chloe pressed.

"Yeah but like mom said Chlo it can't be too important or we'd remember." Clark replied with a shrug.

"I don't think it's that simple." She shook her head and refuted.

"What'd you mean?"

"I mean I can't remember much of what we talked about today. What'd we talk about at breakfast?"

"I didn't join you for breakfast, I slept in remember."

"Ok, well your mom and I talked about what we were going to cook today remember Martha?" At the older woman's nod Chloe addressed Clark again. "So when you finally woke up and joined us, what'd we talk about?"

"Joanne." Came the prompt reply.

"Yeah but in what context, I don't remember, can either of you?" When they both shook their heads she pressed on. "What'd we talk about at lunch?"

"Lois told me off for treating you like crap when we were teenagers."

"That was before lunch and why'd she do that anyway, I mean what brought it up?" She questioned with furrowed brows.

"I can't remember."

"So what'd we talk about at lunch, what have we been talking about all day?"

"At lunch Lois said she bought a dress for the engagement party, and that she wasn't going to try and interfere in Clark's relationship with Joanne." Martha put in glad she could finally recall something.

"What else?"

"Chloe what are you getting at?"

"Clark I remember bits and pieces of conversations we've had today, but there seems to be huge gaps in my memory because the bits I'm remembering don't seem to be in any kind of context. Now is it just me or are both of you finding the same thing as well?" Looking at each other the three saw the dawning realisations in each other's eyes.

"What do you thinks happening?" Martha asked quietly.

"Someone's messing with our heads." Clark's replied promptly and Chloe nodded in confirmation.

"But why, what's the point."

"Something happened today, something significant that someone doesn't want us to remember; we must have talked about it on and off all day that's why the memories of our conversations today aren't adding up. Someone's removed it from our mind." Clark summed up succinctly, a distinct frown on his face.

"Do you think Lois and Lana were affected as well?" Martha's subdued voice fell into the after silence.

"Lana no, she hasn't been here today, but Lois yes, I think it's likely."

"Why didn't Lana come over?" Clark asked perplexed.

"I don't know….shit she could be hurt for all we know, I'm going to give her a quick call." Chloe pulled out her phone, quickly dialled Lana's number and waited impatiently for the other woman to pick up and felt relief when the phone was finally answered. After speaking for a few minutes she hung up and turned to Clark and Martha "She's fine, she been feeling sick so she's been sleeping for most of the day."

"Ok so if Lana's ok, and so are all of us, then what's the point of messing with our heads?"

"Joanne." Chloe replied promptly.

"What about Joanne?" Clark asked in apprehension.

"The last time something happened Joanne died and then she was brought back, so the question is, what are they trying to hide that they don't want us to remember?"

"Joanne's due back in 31 minutes Chlo." Clark reminded her softly.

"I know."

"Should we tell Lois?" Martha asked, Chloe looked at the older woman then turned to Clark when he began to speak.

"I don't want to keep her out of the loop, but she's leaving soon and she doesn't need to know that someone's playing god with her life again." He said frustrated.

"Look, we can tell her or we can let it go and worry about it after Joanne comes back; it's your call Clark."

Rubbing the back of his neck he paced around the kitchen. "Then I think we should leave it, I don't want Lois to be scared in the last few minutes before she leaves, we don't know anything and all we'll end up doing is worrying her for nothing. We'll talk about it after Joanne gets back ok?" When both women nodded he smiled gratefully. "Thanks, I know I should be concerned about this and I am, but to be honest the only thing I'm interested in right now is Joanne returning." Looking at the clock again he smiled. "Which she's going to do in just over 20 minutes."

"Not that you're keeping track or anything." Chloe said dryly, willing to let the matter rest for the moment. Clark was right, talking about it now would only scare Lois for no reason and she wasn't willing to do that.

"Well I'm just going to jump in the shower."

"The shower! Oh I see wanna make yourself all pretty for your sweetie huh Clark?" Chloe teased winking at Martha then yelped when Clark reached over and twisted her ear lightly.

"What's so funny?" Lois asked when she entered the kitchen to the sound of hilarity.

"Nothing Lo, I'm just teasing Clark because he wants to jump in the shower." Chloe grinned and nudged Clark with her arm.

"What's so funny about that?"

"It's the reason he wants too that's so funny." At Lois' confusion Chloe's smiled widened. "He wants to make himself gorgeous for when Joanne returns."

"Gorgeous?"

"Uh huh, right Clark?" When all eyes swung towards him he blushed, stammered and shrugged. "I just need a shower." He said with what dignity he could and retreated upstairs to the sound of feminine laughter.

Taking a seat at the island Lois bit her lip and asked the question she hoped someone would have an answer to. "What'd you think will happen?" At the questioning looks on the women's faces she expanded her query. "It's not long before I'm supposed to go back, do you think I'll become unconscious or do you think that one moment, I'll be talking and the next I won't be here anymore, Joanne will?"

Seeing the fear in her eyes both ladies grabbed one of her hands. "I don't know Lo, but I don't think it's gonna hurt. When you woke up here you were already changed, when Clark found you 8 years ago, you were in bed so most likely you were asleep when it happened but ….you're awake now and I just don't know."

Lois nodded, squeezed her eyes shut then opened them. "Do you think I should go to bed, try and go to sleep?"

"Honey, we're not going to let anything happen to you, I promise." When Lois' eyes locked onto hers Martha smiled trying to take away the fear, she let go of Lois' hand came around the island and pulled her into a hug. "You can go to bed if you want but we're all here, if you become unconscious I guarantee Clark will catch you before you fall, not one of us will allow anything to happen to you, ok?"

Nodding Lois gave a tremulous smile then breathed deep. "Yeah thanks, I'm just going outside for a last cigarette, I don't know when I start up again but god I really need one right now and I still have 20 minutes so I'll be back in 5." She chuckled nervously and walked outside the door.

OoO

"Where's Lois?" Clark asked when he returned downstairs moments after Lois walked outside.

"She's having a cigarette, Clark go and talk to her, she's scared, the countdowns here and she doesn't know what's going to happen." Martha said quietly.

Nodding he let himself out the back door and found Lois trying to light a cigarette with a hand that shook. Taking the lighter out of her hand he put the flame to the tip and watched as she breathed deep before blowing out a stream of smoke.

"Thanks, I'm nervous, can you believe it, I'm a shaking bundle of nerves." She leant against the porch railing and chewed her thumbnail.

"It's natural Lo, you don't know what's going to happen and the unknown is scary as hell." He replied before joining her to lean against the rail.

"Yeah, it's weird huh, I'll go back and for me getting here again will take 8 years, but for all of you it will be instantaneous." She lifted the cigarette, dragged deep and turned to him.

"I hadn't really thought of it like that but you're right it is kind of weird." He nodded in affirmation.

"Shit, I'm more nervous than the first time I had sex…hell forget I said that." She lifted the cigarette, took a drag then blew out the smoke in a stream of laughter at the look on his face. "Don't tell me you weren't nervous the first time you did it?"

"Ummm." Ok, how was he supposed to get out of this?

"You and Joanne don't talk about sex?"

"Um." Clark coughed, cleared his throat and coughed again. "We talk about our own sex life."

"Ok, so moving the conversation on, do you have any messages you want me to pass onto Skipper?"

"You're not going to remember anything." He pointed out grateful when she changed the subject.

"I know that but give it a shot; you never know maybe I'll remember something."

"Do you want to?"

"I wouldn't mind knowing the winning lottery numbers so I can start living in the style to which I'd like to become accustomed." She grinned tamping out the butt.

"If you know the lottery numbers you'll have to wait 8 years to get your money." He laughed appreciating her humour.

"Not if you fly away really quickly right now, get me the lottery numbers for the highest pay out in say…2008 then I'll just be waiting a year at most." Lois returned promptly.

"Would you really want me to?"

Her eyes rolled "Of course! Clark what's the point of coming to the future if I can't get anything out of it? As I told you before, you're the boy scout not me, now shoo, go and get me those numbers." She said twitching her hands back and forth in a shooing motion.

"Forget it."

"Pfft some super boyfriend you turned out to be." She walked towards the back door, opened it and turned around to find him smiling and shaking his head. "You coming?"

"Yeah." He joined her, shook his head and smiled. "Y'know I can't believe that Superman's engaged to such a ruthless woman who wants him to break the law for her own benefit."

"Welcome to real life farmboy." She laughed back stepping into the kitchen.

OoO

"It's not gonna happen is it?" Lois asked smiling at the faces surrounding her. "Its way past time and nothing's happened."

"It's still early Lo."

"Chloe we gave up waiting and ate dinner at 7.30, then we watched a movie, or we tried to, I didn't take much in and I bet none of you did either; we've had supper and now it's nearly 11 o'clock and I'm still here." Lois replied softly.

"Maybe whoever did it is just running late." Martha put forward the suggestion although the tone in her voice wasn't confident.

"Yeah, um why didn't Lana come for dinner?"

"Sorry Lo I forgot to tell you, I rang her earlier, she's been feeling really sick today so she didn't come over, but she's hoping to feel better tomorrow." Chloe explained.

Lois nodded but wondered if Lana had stayed away because Joanne was due back today and she didn't want to see Clark looking forward to seeing his girlfriend and later their reunion. Well it looked like that wasn't going to happen so if Lana had stayed away for that reason she'd wasted her time. If she'd come she could have commiserated with Clark, and got at least one hug in when she comforted him. Smiling internally at the catty thought she wanted to laugh out loud. The thought might be bitchy but it was also true.

"I'm going to bed, there's no point in sitting around staring at the clock, that's pretty much all I've been doing for the last 4 hours and it's just getting frustrating." Lois rose and walked toward the stairs then turned back around. "I was nervous before and now I'm just bored, if I ever find out who did this, I'm gonna smack them around the head."

"Lo."

She turned around at Chloe's call. "If you're not here tomorrow…."

"I have a feeling I'll be here Chloe."

"But if you're not, I love you."

"I love you too and whether I'm here or there, we'll still see each other." Lois replied coming back over and giving Chloe a hug, the two women held on tight before letting go.

Lois hugged Martha then turned to Clark. "Ok, farmboy you can give me a hug, but don't try and cop a feel, deal?"

Clark blushed then smiled. "Lois…oh c'mere." He pulled her into a hug and held on tight before letting go. The three of them watched her walking up the stairs then turned to look at each other the smiles slipping from their faces.

Sitting down at the kitchen table they looked at each other before Martha got up and brought more coffee to the table.

"Chloe you mentioned Joanne before, what'd you think happened?"

"I don't know Clark, I really don't. Whoever's behind this really could just be running behind." Chloe shrugged smiling in thanks for the hot beverage.

"Do you think something happened to Joanne?" Clark asked quietly looking down into his coffee but looked up when Chloe began to speak again.

"No, I admit I did earlier, but only for about a minute or two then I realised that didn't make sense." At Martha and Clark's curious looks, she blew out her breath and tried to explain "Lois was in town until just before lunch right?" At their nods she continued. "Well if someone can mess with our heads and remove memories, then why get Lois away from us for half the day just to harm Joanne? It would have been pointless because they can obviously take away anything they don't want us to remember."

"Do you think that could be it?" When the two faced her Martha gestured and explained. "Do you think they did something but it went wrong so they're trying to protect us from it, and that's why they've removed it from our memory?"

"No I don't think whoever did this is that magnanimous." Chloe scoffed shaking her head.

"Do you think it was just another experiment?" Clark asked in disgust.

"I think it could be two things, either they're trying to frighten us to see what we do next and they purposely picked Joanne's homecoming for maximum impact; or they're trying to hide something that happened today and it was big enough that they've made sure we didn't remember it." Chloe stated flatly and the other two nodded their heads in agreement.

"You should both go to bed, hopefully Lois just needs to go to sleep for it to work and then she'll wake up and Joanne will be back, I'm just going to wait for her to come down." Clark looked up, his heart in his eyes hoping they agreed with his assessment.

The women exchanged glances then nodded. "We're not going anywhere, if you're sitting up so are we." Chloe nodded decisively and smiling in appreciation, the three clinked cups and drank their coffee.

OoO

Lana drifted awake in the early hours and looked at the clock. It was almost 2.30 am; Joanne's deadline had long since passed.

Now that she'd had time to process everything she knew that what Clark said to her was the truth as he saw it. He'd caught her off guard yesterday, but she now realised that without her to stand strong beside him, he'd caved into emotional pressure. Clark was a caring and careful guy; he hated hurting anyone and would suffer a lifetime of hurt himself before taking his own happiness at the expense of someone else's.

Lois didn't want him but wasn't about to let him go to another woman either and must have heaped the emotional guilt on him for wanting to break the engagement with Joanne. His mom would have shown her disappointment, Chloe would have berated him for his change of heart, and it would have kept on and on until he saw the error of his ways and convinced himself that it was Joanne he loved. She'd seen it in his eyes, heard it in his voice, he really and truly believed he loved Joanne and nothing she did or said would ever change that.

At least he didn't hate her anymore; she was still his friend, someone who was welcome in his home and life and she had to be content with that. Smoothing her hand over the spare pillow, she closed her eyes again and willed herself back to sleep.

OoO

Three people sat at the kitchen table, empty coffee cups sat in front of them, there was no conversation, no one wanted to be the first to speak and say what was on everyone's mind but finally Clark broke the silence.

"She's not coming back is she?" Clark asked quietly.

"We don't know that Clark."

"I've been checking on Lo since she went to bed, she hasn't woken up once, her sleep hasn't been disturbed, nothing." Clark rubbed his cheek, and shook his head. "She hasn't so much as twitched."

"Why is that important?" Martha asked confused.

"The first day she was here, she said that when she first woke up, that she initially felt dizzy and went back to sleep, and when she woke up again she was here in the future, but that hasn't happened."

"Clark…." Chloe started to speak but couldn't think of what to say.

"Lois woke up at 6.23 pm in 2007, I checked the records again; it's almost 2am now." He replied looking down at the table.

"Honey maybe the past isn't running on the same time we are." Martha said quietly.

"When Lois woke up in the morning here she was changed, and back there it was the morning when I found her." His head lifted and his eyes held pain and sadness.

"It was late morning Clark, really late; we don't know how long Lois was unconscious before you found her." Chloe reminded him. "We can't assume that 2007 is running on the same time clock we are."

"I know, but 2am means it's the sixth day not the fifth, she was only unconscious for 5 days not 6, its now over 7 hours past the time she should have woken up." He said running his hand over the back of his neck.

The three exchanged eye contact and looked away.

"Look she's sleeping now right?" At Clark's nod, Chloe nodded in return. "For all we know she is Joanne right now and we just have to wait for her to wake up in the morning to know for certain." She finished quietly.

"Maybe." He tried to smile; Martha reached over and held his hand.

"I can go wake her up now if you want me to." She offered with a slight smile but at his head shake she sobered and rubbed his arm. "Let's not borrow trouble; we'll wait until morning ok?"

At his hesitant nod both ladies smiled and three parted ways and went to bed.

OoO

Chloe lay on the couch hoping that tomorrow morning would find Joanne back with them. She'd told Clark that maybe 2007 was running on a different time clock to them but didn't really believe it herself.

All day they'd been on pins and needles just waiting for the time that Joanne was to return and when she didn't, it had been a huge let down.

She hadn't known what to expect, like Lois she'd been apprehensive, wondering if one moment she'd be talking to Lois and the next Joanne would be there; which was really kind of creepy in a séance kind of a way.

But now the time had long since passed and she was more scared of nothing happening than of something.

In the last few minutes as the time had drawn nearer they'd all stopped talking and just stared between Lois and the clock. Lois had become increasingly uncomfortable, and had finally scowled and told them all to get a life; causing everyone to laugh and the atmosphere to relax. Not that it had stopped them from monitoring her every move or expression.

They'd watched her before and after the minute hand had ticked past the designated time, they'd been aware of her every movement through dinner, become alert when she blinked rapidly, closed her eyes or shifted position during the movie, scrutinised her when she came back from the bathroom; and although Lois had been aware of their actions she hadn't said anything, just sighed loudly once or twice.

She didn't know if Lois had finally gone to bed because she was sick of waiting, sick of their constant observation, was sleepy or believed she needed to be asleep for the change to work. More than likely it was a combination of everything but if the last was the correct reason, Chloe hoped for everyone's sake that it worked.

She hoped that when Lois woke up in the morning that she would be Joanne, because if she wasn't then she didn't know what to do, or where to start looking for answers. More importantly she didn't know how in hell she was going to be able to comfort two people that she loved. One who would have lost his fiancé and the other who would have had a huge chunk of her life stolen.

OoO

Martha lay in bed and looked at the picture of her husband, this time last night she'd been hoping that Joanne would come back to them, and now that the time for her arrival had come and gone she was scared.

She didn't want her son to feel the same ache of loss that she did; she didn't want Clark to know what it was like to expect the person you love to be there, only to remember they were gone never to return. She didn't want him to reach out in the night and find the other side of the bed vacant, and she didn't want him to know what it was like to still feel an emptiness years later that _nothing_ could fill other than the person who was no longer there.

If Joanne didn't come back, Clark would experience everything she still felt to this day, and having Lois around would be like a two edged sword. On the one hand he'd still have her in his life, on the other all his hopes and dreams would be gone, and seeing what he'd lost would be like rubbing salt on an open wound.

Lois would eventually fall in love with her son she had no doubts about that, but it would take time, it could take years, and it was the time between now and then that Clark would suffer the most.

It wouldn't be easy for Lois either, she'd never asked to be pulled into the future, she hadn't been prepared for the abrupt changes she'd found when she arrived. Lois had had a few shocks and some bad moments, but she'd come through them because she'd been working on the assumption that she'd be leaving as suddenly as she left; a permanent transition would be a different matter entirely.

She didn't know how Lois would handle being here permanently and she was concerned about Lois and Clark's relationship. Would Lois break the engagement letting Clark down kindly but firmly, or would she yell and shout knowing that she was stuck here for life? She thought the first was the more likely, but no matter how kind she was, Clark was still going to be devastated.

She closed her eyes and hoped that Chloe's hypothesis was correct, that right now sleeping down the hall was Joanne, because if she wasn't Martha didn't know how she was going to begin comforting her son, or the girl she loved as a daughter.

OoO

Clark lay in bed unable to sleep, his eyes were fixed on Lois, trying to discern any change in her breathing or her sleep pattern but he'd found nothing.

If Chloe was right he could be looking at his fiancé right now, it could be Joanne who was asleep in bed and he desperately hoped she was.

Despite their rocky beginning he'd enjoyed getting to know the younger version of his fiancé. Eight years ago he'd known Lois quite a bit but at the same time not very well. Unfortunately Lana had been on his mind so much that he hadn't actually taken the time to delve into the mystery that was Lois.

He'd observed and noticed several of her fundamental characteristics; things she either wouldn't care about if someone noticed, or things that she'd try and pass off with a blasé shrug if someone tried to either thank or praise her for.

She didn't hesitate to stick her nose in other people's business, she'd risk her life to save others, she'd risk her life to expose injustice and wrong doing, she didn't pull punches when telling someone the truth and she'd go to the wall for anyone that she loved.

He'd made a lot of wrong assumptions about her, from thinking she was flaky for not finishing high school the first time, disapproving of her drinking, dismissive of her work at the Inquisitor, not listening when she tried to tell him that he'd get over Lana. He'd been protective of her with guys, he'd helped her and she him, and although they'd been friends of a sort, they weren't the kind to seek each other out.

But getting to know her the last few days had been enjoyable. He couldn't understand how when he'd had someone so alive, fun, honest and animated like Lois around, he'd still been so stuck on Lana.

There was no doubt that Lana had been pretty when she was young, she was beautiful even now, but the same could be said for Lois. However, unlike Lois, Lana had never been a fun, gregarious person, she'd been much too serious minded about….well most everything and as much as it pained him to admit it, she'd been just as whiney as Skipper.

Guys had had the hots for Lana and kids had liked her but looking back she really didn't have friends, not real friends. When she stopped being a cheerleader she'd stopped hanging around with her clique almost abruptly; and instead spent all her time with him and his friends or whatever current boyfriend she was with. As far as he was aware, her friends hadn't missed her absence at all; they hadn't gone out of their way to try and bring her back into their fold, they hadn't hung around waiting for her attention nor did they seem to notice or care that she no longer spent time with them.

He'd been lucky, he'd had good friends, friends who cared about him, friends who loved him, wanted him around, came to see him, tracked him down when necessary, and yet for all of that he'd never appreciated them as he should have done. Instead of enjoying his teenage years where he could have dated casually, gone to the movies, bowling, ice skating, joining a youth group, having a movie night, camping, going to a concert or doing any number of things teenagers do with their friends; he'd wasted most of his time sitting in his loft either decrying his heritage or staring at pictures of Lana.

When he wasn't doing either of those things he'd usually to be found sitting in the Talon talking to Lana, waiting for Lana to notice him, hanging around hoping Lana would need him to rescue her, or being ready in case Lana needed a shoulder to cry on.

God he'd been pathetic, most teenagers had great times to look back on; all he mostly had were memories of crying about being an alien or crying about Lana. Most people could get together years later with their high school friends and say 'remember the blast we had when we did this, or what about the great time we had when we did that, gees we had some fabulous times huh?' He could say 'hey remember that time I cried about Lana, or hey remember that other time I cried about Lana, or hey what about all those times I cried about Lana and whinged about my origins'.

Thank god for Chloe, Pete and later Lois. All of them had kept him busy at one time or another either with fun things to do, or delving into one mystery or another. Unfortunately he'd been a downer on more than one occasion. He'd help them out, keep them company, enjoy their company, suffer through their newest plan then go home, retreat back into his loft and think about Lana once again and how his 'alien-ness' was keeping them apart.

Thank god he'd had such caring friends; he'd hate to think what he could have ended up like without them or his parents. His negative attitude and habitual despondency hadn't stopped them from trying to pull him out of himself, and get him interested in something other than Lana or his heritage.

Even when he and Lana were dating they didn't have fun together. Sure they had sex once, but he'd been 18 and more than ready to do it; god knows by then he would have screwed anything if he hadn't been Clark Kent and saving himself for Lana. So what did they do that was fun, yeah one time they went to Crater Lake, big deal! The rest of the time they made-out, fought, argued, discussed the state of their relationship _ad nauseam_, she'd cry, he'd feel like a heel, beg her to forgive him and that was the extent of their relationship. It couldn't be said they enjoyed each other's company. They could hardly be in each other's company before she was demanding answers and he was fumbling for excuses; then they'd each retreat to their respective corners and come back for the next round.

He and Joanne weren't teenagers and they did have fun together. They curled up together and watched TV, played cards, played board games, had friends over for movie nights or dinner, went out for dinner, went to free concerts in the park, went for walks, they'd even had the occasional picnic in their lounge room with the associated nature music for ambiance if the weather was bad and they couldn't go outside. They didn't sit around and discuss every minute detail of their lives or their relationship. They loved each other, loved spending time together and that was enough for both of them.

Looking back at how he used to be, he really could understand why Lois had been so resistant to their relationship, and as he'd told Lana if Skipper had been here the results would have been worse.

More than likely Skipper would have wanted to comfort Lana over her broken marriage; he would have been glad and relieved to know that she was free shortly afterwards, and once again he'd probably try and talk her into taking him back; uncaring of what anyone said about his older counterpart's feelings. No doubt he would have made an ass of himself declaring to all and sundry that he'd only ever love Lana, and in the end Lois would have become highly disgusted and Lana uncomfortable as hell.

Lois had been brutal with some of the things she'd said to him. She'd yelled and told him off, she'd stewed and told him off, she'd tried to trick him into spending time with Lana; then pretended she was doing nothing of the sort when called to account. She'd told him that she couldn't imagine ever loving him; she'd told him off on behalf of Chloe, she'd given him 'what for' her first day here on behalf of everyone for making them suffer through the Clark and Lana shit; but she'd also said he had a good heart, that he was a nice guy and ending up with him wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

They'd laughed together, she'd opened up in a way she never would have if he'd still been Skipper; in essence they'd enjoyed each other's company. But as much as he liked Lois, loved her, he didn't love her the same way he did Joanne. Technically they were one in the same person but Lois still had a lot of growing up to do and if Joanne didn't come back, he'd have to get to know Lois all over again. He wouldn't have to get to know her from scratch, but it wouldn't be easy because more than likely she'd be resistant to any of his overtures.

They had enjoyed each other's company but if Lois found that she was here for good he didn't know if she'd still be as complacent as she had been the last few days. Would she become angry and resentful at losing 8 years of her life? He couldn't blame her if she did, if he lost the last 8 years of his life, if he lost Joanne and his life, everything he'd done and experienced he'd be furious as hell.

If Lois was still here in the morning would she dump him like toxic garbage, let him down gently or try and build a relationship with him. He had the feeling she'd be tender and compassionate but firm and he'd soon find himself a solo act.

He was scared; he'd been scared more times in the last few days than he had for years. From the first day when Lois told him she wanted to go back and change their lives, to Joanne dying, to wondering if Lois would dump him and run back to Oliver, to when Joanne didn't appear at the designated time to right now.

He needed Joanne, she was essential to him; if Lois didn't go back and Joanne didn't return, he was scared he was going to lose both one and the same woman from his life completely.

He turned over, picked up his wallet, opened it to their picture and ran his finger over her face _'Please come back to me Lo, you promised you'd never leave me remember, you promised'_. Heput the wallet down and closed his eyes trying to find sleep, but the last thought he had before drifting off wasn't comforting, _tomorrow he'd either have his fiancé back or tomorrow his life would be destroyed._


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

_Day Six: 2015_

Lana woke up, looked at the clock and turned her face to the window. It was almost 5.30 in the morning, 11 hours past the time Joanne should have come back.

All night Clark's voice had resounded in her head and no matter how hard she'd tried to dislodge it with past memories of them, it refused to be banished "…._You always expected something in return for your love and if you had really loved me, no matter how much it hurt, you would have been happy to see me happy, even if it was with Lois."_

She did want him to be happy but he would never be truly, deeply happy with anyone but her. If she allowed Joanne to return he'd marry her in the full conviction that he loved her; but one day he'd look at Joanne and know that he'd married the wrong woman and all the self castigation in the world wouldn't help him then.

Clark would forget about Joanne eventually, day by day; little by little in the business of everyday living he'd get over her, and one day he'd realise the pain of her absence was gone and he no longer thought about her at all. He'd also come to realise that he didn't want to spend the rest of his life alone, single and solitary, he'd want to feel loved and wanted; old memories and an empty bed would be cold comfort in exchange.

It would probably take a year, didn't they say the first year was the hardest, but if a person could survive the first year after a loved one's death they'd make it. He would survive; his mom, Chloe and she would all make sure of that. They'd give him all the support, help and love he'd need so that he wouldn't feel alone.

Pushing back the covers she got out of bed, padded into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. Her face was drawn and tired, the dark circles under her eyes making the bruised and swollen flesh even more stark, her lips were bloodless and her cheeks streaked with dried tears.

She showered, washed her face as carefully as she could, brushed her teeth then stepped back into the bedroom and pulled on the most comfortable clothes she could find. Her stomach ached from the battering it had taken the previous night, her limbs felt lethargic, she felt completely washed out as if she no longer had any energy left.

And once again his voice rang in her head "…._You always expected something in return for your love and if you had really loved me, no matter how much it hurt, you would have been happy to see me happy, even if it was with Lois."_

She'd taken his memories from him, she'd given him that, given them both that. Clark no longer had to feel unfaithful for ever wanting someone other than Joanne, and she had him back in her life even if it was just as a friend. But she couldn't return Joanne to him, she just couldn't; that was asking too much.

OoO

Clark's eyes opened and swung into his bedroom seeking out Lois, she was still asleep and he still didn't know if she was Lois or Joanne. He wanted her to wake up to know if his fiancé was back, he wanted her to stay asleep so he could live for a little while longer in the belief that she had come home to him.

When her eyes opened and looked out the window he held his breath. The moment of truth was upon him and he didn't know if he was ready for it or not.

OoO

Lois opened her eyes, stared out the window and saw the sun coming over the horizon. She'd hoped that by going to bed she'd wake up and be in the hospital, not that she'd know why she was in the hospital, but she really hadn't expected to find herself still here on the farm.

Getting up she grabbed her robe and went for a shower. She lifted her head to the spray and let the water beat on her face for a moment before lathering the shower puff and soaping down.

OoO

Chloe woke up, sat up and hearing footsteps turned her head to find Martha stepping of the last step and into the kitchen. "Good morning."

"Good morning." Martha yawned and stretched. "Excuse me, I just woke up myself."

"Couldn't sleep huh?"

"No, not very well, it doesn't seem like anyone can. Lois is awake too, she's in the shower."

"Do you know if she's Joanne or is she still Lois?" Chloe asked and when Martha shook her head "I'm gonna go find out." Chloe stood up, stretched, moved her neck from side to side then headed up the stairs.

OoO

Lois heard a quick knock, then the door opened and Chloe's voice calling out, "Lo, is that you or… um…."

Lois grimaced then stuck her head out the shower curtain. "It's me Chlo; Joanne's not here, just me."

Chloe nodded and smiled. "I'm just glad that you're ok, but you are awake kinda early Lo?"

"I know, if I had my way I'd still be asleep, believe me."

"I believe you, are you coming down for breakfast when you're done?"

"Yeah, and I'll be out soon if you wanna take a shower." Chloe nodded again and withdrew.

Once back in the bedroom, Lois grabbed her dryer sat on the bed and dried her hair. When her hair was dry, she brushed it then tugged on underwear, sweatpants, a long sleeved t-shirt and warm socks then fluffed up the pillows, sat up against them and pulled the covers back over herself to keep warm. She wasn't a coward, she usually faced most things head on but she didn't want to go down and face everyone.

Chloe had taken the news well, but she'd seen the flash of disappointment in her eyes when she told her that she wasn't Joanne, and when she went downstairs she'd have to face both Clark and Mrs Kent.

Clark was going to be hurt, he'd expected his fiancé back and that hadn't happened Mrs Kent was going to be hurt because her son would be, Chloe would be hurting for everyone including her, knowing that she'd wanted to go back; and she resented losing 8 years of her life on someone's whim. The only person who'd get a big old happy from this would be Lana; who'd more than likely pounce on Clark the moment she knew that Joanne wasn't back.

Hugging the covers tighter against herself, she closed her eyes and wished that like Dorothy she could just click her heels three times. She didn't want to be here; this wasn't her time and this wasn't her place. She wanted to go back; 8 years back where everything was familiar and where she belonged.

Fuck! She really really wanted to hurt the person who did this.

OoO

When Chloe returned moments later Martha knew by the look on her face that Joanne hadn't returned. "I'm going to tell Clark, he needs to be prepared."

"I'm going to put some coffee on; Lo said she'll be out soon so I'm going to slip in when the bathrooms free for a quick shower. The coffee should be ready by the time I'm done and I bet that I'll still beat Lois down." She tried for a shot of humour and was grateful when Martha attempted to smile back.

Martha put on her warm coat then headed out the back door. Walking to the barn she wrapped her arms around herself and wondered how in the world she was going to break her son's heart.

She walked up the loft stairs and found him lying in bed wide awake; when his eyes swung in her direction she saw the flicker of hope on his face. She sat down beside him, took his hand in hers and looked into his eyes "Lois is awake honey."

"Lois?" His eyes searched hers for any sign of good news.

"Yes, she's not Joanne, she's still Lois." And looking into his eyes she saw the flicker of hope extinguish before raw grief took its place. He nodded, his eyes filled with tears, he leant forward, wrapped his arms around her waist and held on.

"She's gone…I hoped, even after last night, I hoped." He pressed his face hard into his moms side; he wanted to cry but couldn't, everything was gone and he felt…nothing.

"I know sweetie we all did. I'm sorry Clark, I'm so sorry honey." Martha replied rubbing his back.

"How am I going to survive without her mom?"

Martha ran her fingers through his hair and hugged him back fiercely. "One day at a time sweetie, you'll get through it one day at a time."

The two sat silently, mother and son holding onto each other, neither one speaking, there was nothing left to say.

OoO

Chloe returned to the kitchen not in the least surprised to find that she had indeed beaten Lois downstairs. She poured a cup of coffee, sat at the kitchen island and waited. When the back door opened, Clark and Martha walked in and she saw the pain etched on both their faces.

"Good morning." She said quietly.

"Hey Chlo, I'm just going up for a quick shower, I'll be down soon ok." He raced upstairs and was down a few minutes later, freshly showered and shaved. "Your turn mom."

"Thanks sweetie, I won't be long and I'll start breakfast as soon as I'm done?"

"I'll do it mom, I need to keep busy." Clark smiled but both women noticed there was no light in his eyes. Martha nodded and retreated upstairs.

"Do you feel like anything in particular Chlo?"

"No, anything's fine, thanks. Did you get any sleep last night?" She stood up, walked over to him, took the items he had balanced in his arms and turning put them on the kitchen island.

Clark stopped rummaging in the fridge and turned around to address her question. "No, not really, I think a few snatches here or there but you know me Chlo, I don't need as much sleep as everyone else."

She nodded turned and picked up both the bread and knife and began to slice. When Martha returned it was to the smell of bacon frying and eggs cooking on the griddle.

All three picked at their food, no one was interested in eating and no one wanted to be the first to speak. "We've all had our showers and Lois still hasn't come down; something's never change." Chloe tried to smile and found that neither she, nor the other occupants of the table could. Putting down her fork she turned to Clark and grabbed his hand. "Clark we'll figure out what to do, we will." She promised and Martha nodded her head in accord.

"We haven't figured out anything so far and even if we keep trying we don't know how long it's going to take." He replied subdued.

"But we …"

"Chloe it could take years, Lois isn't going to want to stay engaged to me while we figure out what to do." He said sadly cutting into Chloe's next statement.

"Clark what are you planning?" She asked cautiously.

"I'm going to let her go; I'm going to tell her that she's free." He put down his fork, and scrubbed his free hand over his face.

"Honey, don't do anything you're going to regret." Martha urged.

"I can't hold onto her mom, she doesn't want me, she sees a friend and that's all." His smile was both sad and pathetic.

Chloe shook his hand slightly. "Clark, think about this; Lois said that she wasn't going to interfere in your relationship with Joanne, ok so maybe the two of you just have to reconnect; let her decide what she wants, don't just make a call without thinking it through first, once done you can't take it back."

He shook his head. "I can't hold onto her Chloe, her freedom's what she wants and if I can give that to her maybe it won't be so bad."

"Clark, you and Lois belong together." She stated forcefully squeezing his hand tight.

"I know and hopefully one day she'll come back to me, but today isn't that day. I have to wait for her to grow up again." He stated quietly.

"Don't do it honey, Joanne fell in love with you, Lois will too; she's the same person." Martha pressed.

"She is, and she isn't mom; you pointed that out the first day. Lois hasn't lived the last 8 years, she doesn't have Joanne's experiences and right now, she's not Joanne. If I thought there was the slightest chance, even just a little that Lois would have me I wouldn't let her go but there's not." He tugged his hand free and rubbed both palms hard over his eyes.

"Just wait ok, it's only a little over 12 hours since we expected her back, just give it a few more days." Chloe urged desperately while Martha nodded.

"What for Chlo, what's the point? We haven't found anything, not a damn thing as to who's done it, why, or how to fix anything, so what exactly should I wait for? For Lois to tell me that she's stuck here and doesn't want me." He swallowed hard and continued. "I've already heard that once and I really don't think I can take a second round, not now, not when I already know that Joanne's gone."

"Clark…." Martha trailed off, unsure of what to say. When his eyes swung in her direction, she saw both the loss of hope and vulnerability and her own filled with tears.

"I'll be alright mom, but…but right now I just wanna to be alone ok. I'm going back to the loft, please just let me be for a little while." Getting up from his seat he came around the table, put one arm around each of the womens shoulders, bent down and pressed a kiss against each of their cheeks. "Thank you both for everything." Before they could respond he was gone and they were left alone in the kitchen.

The two women turned to each other and saw the same shattering sadness in each other's eyes.

"God I feel so sorry for him." Chloe said wretchedly, not bothering to wipe away the tears sliding down her face.

"So do I." Martha concurred, rubbing her hand hard over her eyes. "He's right, we haven't found anything, we promised him we would, we promised him that Joanne would come back if he just held on, but …."

"She is gone isn't she Martha? I told Clark that maybe she wasn't but…but Lois, our Lois is gone; isn't she?" Chloe put her head on Martha's shoulder and wept bitterly.

"Joanne's gone but we still have Lois." Martha said softly comforting the young woman in her arms, trying to comfort herself, desperately wanting to be with her son, but understanding that right now he didn't want anyone except Joanne who wasn't there.

"We were useless, we didn't do anything." Chloe said between sniffles.

"We didn't bring Joanne back, but we were there for both Lois and Clark when they needed us and that's a comfort in itself. It's not the outcome we were hoping for but it's something." Martha reached for a napkin, wiped her eyes and blew her nose.

Chloe sat up, and reached for a napkin "I don't know what to do; what do we do?" She turned to the older woman looking for wisdom or guidance.

"I don't know." Martha shook her head. "All I can think about is my boy right now and soon Lois is going to come down; she'll probably pretend that she's fine but she won't be and we need to be strong for her too." Chloe nodded in agreement.

That was the last of the conversation as the kitchen fell silent once again.

OoO

Clark sat on the couch, Lois' engagement ring and his photo of them sat on the coffee table in front of him, but his eyes stared straight ahead seeing nothing. He didn't know what to do with himself. He'd hoped and dreamed and wished and prayed and it was all for nothing. She was gone and now he didn't know what to do.

He wanted to go back to their apartment and surround himself with memories of them, to smell the faint trace of her perfume in the air, to lie in their bed and remember all the times he'd held her close, but the thought of going back there, knowing she wasn't going to return caused his heart to clench hard in his breast.

His mind swirled with memories; from the time they met, their arguments both big and small, their shared laughter, and eventual friendship, through every step of their relationship.

He wanted to pretend that Joanne wasn't gone, that she was only away on assignment and would return shortly, but his heart wouldn't let him sustain the lie. Feeling her absence, knowing that she wasn't coming back, he pressed a hand against his heart and let out the gut wrenching sobs that had been trapped in his chest.

When his tears were completely spent, he felt drained and lifeless, lying down on the couch, he closed his eyes and once again became lost, reliving every moment of their relationship.

OoO

When they heard Lois' footsteps coming down the stairs Chloe and Martha shared one swift look then pretended that all was fine. They'd already agreed not to make Lois feel as if they were disappointed in her presence. Lois was still Lois, she wasn't quite Joanne, but both women loved her and neither wanted her to feel slighted, to think they weren't happy just to have her with them.

"Good morning." Lois greeted and frowned at the forced smiles cast back at her. "What's up?"

"Nothing Lo, everything's fine." Chloe replied with another forced smile.

"You're sure?" Lois questioned and when both women nodded and smiled, she grinned in return "Good, well I'm dying for some coffee and I'll have some bacon and eggs too." When she turned to the stove Chloe and Martha shared a fleeting look full of understanding; Lois was going to pretend that she was just dandy.

"Anyone else want a top up?" Lois asked brandishing the coffee pot; and at the negative responses, filled a plate and her cup and took a seat at the table.

The kitchen was quiet while all three ate breakfast, Lois ate while the two women pretended too; finishing her meal she picked up her cup and sipped until the hot brew was gone. "Ok, that was really good." She nodded. "I'm just going to brush my teeth and then I'll be back; we can talk about what we're going to do today ok?"

When the ladies nodded and smiled, she retreated upstairs and came back 10 minutes later to find Martha and Chloe still sitting at the table.

Looking around she frowned. "Where's Clark, is he out on a Superman call?"

"No, he's um...he's in the loft."

"Why?"

"He said he wants to be alone." Chloe shrugged hoping that would be enough.

"I'll go talk to him." Lois replied heading for the door but turned back at Chloe's call. "Take it easy it on him Lo, he's a little fragile right now." She nodded and walked outside.

OoO

Walking to the barn Lois wished she'd put on her winter jacket. The house was toasty warm and she'd come outside without thinking, she debated going back to get it, but remembering the sad look in Chloe and Martha's eyes decided that warm clothes could wait.

Reaching the top of the stairs she found Clark lying down on the couch with his eyes closed. He did look fragile, like the weight of the world was on his shoulders and feeling her heart go out to him, she knelt down beside the couch and kissed him gently.

His lips clung to hers, but when she lifted her head and opened her eyes, found his were still closed. "Clark." He opened his eyes and the utter wretchedness in them stirred her heart. Raking her fingers through his hair, she wiped away a tear from his cheek, smiled and softly brushed his lips with hers once again.

"What…what was that for?" Clark asked hoarsely when she lifted her mouth from his.

"Well you looked like you needed it, and I wanted to, you are my fiancé remember?" She asked lightly.

"I'm not your fiancé, not really." He said quietly.

"You're not? I could have sworn you told me that you were. Didn't you threaten to chain me up if I tried to get out of it?" She teased lightly.

"I told you that I'd chain you up if you ever tried to leave me." He corrected, the small touch of humour gone "Lois, I…I wasn't going to tell you this, I was going to be selfish and try to hold onto you but I can't do that." He sat up and helped her off the floor to sit beside him.

"What are you talking about it?" She asked curiously.

"Oliver's in love with you."

"Oliver…...Cl…"

"Oliver's in love with you." He cut in. "And if you want to be with him, I won't try and hold you back." He said rushing out the words.

"You want me to be with Oliver?"

"No!" Clark replied running his hands through his hair, standing up he began to pace, before stopping in front of the loft window to lean back against it. "The thought of you with Oliver hurts like hell, but if you want to be with him you can."

"Why are you bringing Oliver up now?" Lois questioned softly.

"Because I owe you the truth."

"The truth?"

"Yes."

"Clark …."

His voice cut in before she could speak, effectively silencing her. "Lois you don't love me and I don't want you to pretend to have feelings for me that you don't; I'm giving you what you want, your freedom." His eyes darted around the loft refusing to settle on the woman sitting on the couch.

"My freedom; y'know it's funny but I never realised that you were my master, I always thought I was free; thanks for clearing that up." She rubbed her brow and sighed. "You've discussed this with your mom and Chloe haven't you? That's why they're sitting in the kitchen looking like crap." Lois asked pointedly.

"I haven't discussed it with them Lo, I just told them that I was going to let you go."

"Uh huh, so tell me Clark, is Oliver waiting for me to call him, does he know that you're handing me over to him like a prize?" She asked sarcastically.

"I'm not, I wouldn't do that." He said shaking his head unhappily. "I'm letting you go in the hope that one day you'll come back to me."

"Come back to you, and why would you want me back if I don't love you?"

"In time…I mean maybe in time you'll love me." His eyes lifted but refused to meet hers.

"In time...I see." She rubbed her brow again and shook her head. "Clark what's going on, it's too damn early and I'm not in the mood, so why don't you just cut to the chase and tell me what the hell's going on?" She asked running her hand through her hair.

"I want you to be happy."

"So what was all that talk I've been hearing about you making me happy, you loving me. What the hell was that all about Clark?" She asked in a blistering angry tone.

"I…You don't…" He shook his head. "You're not ready."

"I'm not ready for what exactly?" She demanded.

"Me."

"You…I'm not ready for you. Well Clark I'm riveted, how am I not ready for you, explain it to me?" Lois folded her arms and waited.

"I just…you haven't had time to get used to me being…not the way you're used to me being; to me being an alien and…." His disjointed explanation was halted by her curse.

"Shit!" Lois cut in. "Not the alien thing again; skip the alien part, I've already heard it."

"I want you to be happy." He said quietly.

"Yeah so I've heard, tell me something new." When he shook his head she swore again under her breath. "What about what I want?" She asked in a softer voice.

"You don't know what you want, you're scared and confused." He turned around to face the window, squeezing his eyes shut tight, hoping the conversation would soon be over.

"I don't know what I want. I can't believe you just said that to me; do you know how insulting that is?" She asked pointedly.

"I didn't mean…I'm sorry."

"You damn well did mean it because it's the second time you've said it." She rubbed her brow again. "No, sorry the first time you said you knew I wanted my freedom, you seem to think you know what I want better than I do." She said sardonically. When there was no response she stood up and threw out her arms. "Clark look at me; turn around and look at me." She demanded a second time, when he turned around she could see the pain etched on his face. "Do you love me or not?"

When he remained silent she walked over to him, grasped his chin in her hand and forced him to look in her eyes. "Do you love me or not?" she asked again.

"Yes."

"Yes what!"

"Yes I love you."

"Then explain this to me again, because it doesn't make any sense."

"I want you to be happy."

"This isn't about me, this is about you. Now tell me again that you want me to be with Oliver. Say it Clark!" She demanded when he didn't reply.

"I want you to be happy."

"Tell me that you want me to be with Oliver, say it!"

"I…I do. That's what I want, I want you to be with Oliver and I want to be with Joanne. I love her and you're not her, I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Jo…oh fuck, never mind." Lois said shaking her head. "So the engagements off is it?" She asked forthrightly. At his nod, she let go of his chin, shook her head again and let out an angry sigh. "Ok Clark you know what, I'm just not in the mood to put up with any of this half assed bullshit; if you wanna be a martyr go right ahead, but you can do it on your own time, I'm not sticking around for it." Turning around she left the loft as quietly as she entered it.

OoO

After Lois left Clark sat on the couch wondering why in hell he was such an idiot. He'd loved Lois for years, right now she wasn't Joanne, but she was. The last few days their relationship had changed, she was friendlier, more accepting of him. He could have kept her in his life, been a friend; helped her to adjust to life while she was here.

She didn't want to be here and he wanted Joanne back, the two of them could have worked together to find a solution.

He couldn't give up on Joanne, she'd told him that if he ever disappeared she'd track him down and drag him home and that was what he was going to do. He didn't know how, he didn't know the first place to start looking but he'd find out. Life without her was unacceptable and he wasn't going to give up. They belonged together, he didn't care how long it took him to find her, to bring her back, but he was going to do it.

And now he'd all but messed with Lois' head by telling her about Oliver. Standing up he paced to the window. SHIT! He'd made a mistake, he should never have told her about Oliver, she didn't love Oliver and he'd just screwed up all their lives.

Oliver was in love with Lois and in a few years when she realised that she didn't love him, when she left him; he was going to be devastated. On top of that, the thought of Lois being with anyone but him was like a knife in his heart. There was no doubt that he'd take her back, she'd only be with Oliver because she thought that she might love him, but could he really bear to know that Oliver was touching her, that Oliver was kissing and making love to the woman he loved.

He had to stop her, she was angry but maybe he could say that …no he'd tell her the truth, he'd screwed up. She'd prefer the truth to any pretty lies he could come up with.

Shaking his head at his own stupidity, he sat down on the couch thinking of how he could approach her so that she didn't hit him and break her hand, when he heard his mom and Chloe screech his name.

OoO

Lois hugged her arms tight across her body while her feet paced back and forth on the porch as her mind swirled with all that Clark had said. She was angry, furious and had to take several deep breaths before opening the kitchen door.

"How is he?" Martha asked anxiously when Lois returned.

"Who the hell knows, he's Clark; apparently he felt it was important to tell me that Oliver loves me and he wants me to be happy, so he's letting me go." Lois said angrily making her way towards the stairs but stopping at Martha's words.

"He's doing it for you dear."

"Don't Martha, I know he's your son but don't defend him, not to me and not right now. I'm angry; hell, I'm really really pissed off, and I don't wanna hear how he's doing anything for me, clear!" At the older woman's nod, Lois sighed and ran a hand across her brow. "I'm going to pack." She said shaking her head.

"You don't have to leave right now." Martha protested.

"No point in sticking around is there; at least now I know why the two of you looked like crap. I knew something was wrong, I should always trust my instincts." Lois said calmly "You both knew what he was going to say to me, didn't you?" At the guilt on their faces, she shook her head. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"We knew that he was going to let you go but we couldn't say anything Lo, we don't agree with him." Chloe said earnestly. "We told him we don't agree but it was between the two of you."

She nodded her head in understanding "Yeah, well …."

"Lois he really does love you, not many men would tell the woman they love that someone else is in love with them and wish them happiness." Chloe grabbed her cousins arm lightly, and shared a commiserating look with Martha.

"Yeah he loves me so much that he wants me to be with Oliver." Lois said sarcastically. "He has a pretty twisted view of love."

"He just wants you to be happy dear, and he knows that you're uncomfortable regarding his relationship with Joanne." Martha put in quietly.

"Who the freaking hell is Joanne?" Lois yelled missing the looks of shock spreading over the women's faces. "Shit! Never mind, I don't have the patience for this crap." Shaking off Chloe's hand she retreated up the stairs.

There was dead silence in the kitchen as the two women stared at each other in dismay and horror.

"Oh my god, did she just say…"

"She did!"

"Clark, CLAAAARK!" Chloe and Martha screamed together, and jumped out of their seats to rush towards the door, they hadn't gotten one step before they found him standing in the kitchen a moment later.

"Clark what'd you say to Lois?" Chloe demanded.

He shrugged and grimaced. "I just told her that she was free."

"Clark honey, exactly what did you say to her?" Martha asked anxiously and grabbed his arm, while Chloe grabbed his other arm and shook it impatiently.

He repeated most of the conversation and finished by adding, "And please, don't tell me I made a mistake because I know it already."

Both ladies looked at him and shook their heads, letting go of his arms they ran their hands through their hair before collapsing back in their seats.

"God Clark you made an even bigger mistake than you know, you were talking to Joanne, Lois." Chloe shook her head fiercely correcting herself "_**Your**_ Lois, our Lois; between what you said and we said, god only knows what she's thinking right now. You have to go and talk to her."

Clark came to the table and sat down hard. "Oh God, she's back, Lo's back."

"Yeah but if you don't go and explain things to her right now, you're going to find yourself a fiancé short." Chloe replied anxiously.

OoO

Lois stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door. _Bastard! So he loved her, he loved her so damn much he wanted her to be with Oliver and actually had the hide to say he loved someone called Joanne._

She pulled out the suitcase, threw it on the bed, opened it and realised that she'd never fit all of her stuff in it. She could get more stuff in if his crap wasn't taking up so much room; _well that was easily fixed_, she took out her possessions, walked over to the window, flung it open and upended the case outside before turning to the closet. She'd never find her stuff with _his_ things in the way, and grabbing as many of his clothes that her arms could carry, staggered back over to the window and threw them outside as well.

Then turned grabbed an armful of her clothes and dumped them in the suitcase while her mind seethed.

_How stupid did he think she was, she'd never heard of anyone called Joanne and out of the blue he plucks the name Joanne out of thin air and says he loves her. _

_He should have said Lana then she could have kicked his ass, but to say a name she'd never even heard off just insulted her intelligence. Did he think she was the stupid kind of woman who'd cry and shout demanding explanations about who Joanne bloody was? He obviously didn't know her very well if that what he was hoping for._

_She didn't know if he'd broken up with her for some stupid reason his tiny little brain had thought up that was supposedly for her own good, or if he'd just gotten cold feet._

_If it was the first reason she wouldn't thank him for it; __**she**__ knew what was good for her and she didn't need __**him**__ to tell her what it was._

_If it was the second then he was a bloody idiot. She didn't think he'd be the type of man to balk at the idea of marriage but maybe he was. He should have told her he was scared, she would have freaking understood; who better? She was scared herself; they could have called off the engagement but there was no reason they had to break up._

_He was an alien,_ she snorted; _of course he was a freaking alien! Did he think she was deaf and hadn't heard the first ten times he'd mentioned it? Did he think she didn't notice that he was virtually indestructible? He was a freaking alien indeed, he was more than an alien_ she snorted again; _he was a stupid, bloody pain in the ass of an alien MAN who'd more than likely gotten cold feet now that their engagement party was only a week away. Well if he thought she was going to beg him to stay with her he was an idiot._

_Did he get her confused with Lana brainless Lang? Did he think she'd take his dismissal of her and run away with her tail between her legs, straight into the arms of another man while still giving him 'fuck me now' looks; not bloody lightly! She was more inclined to break his freaking legs and give him a kick in the balls to boot._

_He'd be crawling back to her in 24 hours, hell he'd be back in less than that, but if he thought she was just going to just take him back without making him suffer first; he didn't know her at all._

_She'd give him hell first and she knew just how to do it. She'd seen the way he almost showed his teeth and pawed the ground when other men men checked her out. He was possessive as hell, ok so was she but she hadn't dumped him! He wanted her to be happy did he? FINE, when he came crawling back she'd tell him exactly how she intended to be happy, she'd rub his nose in it and if ….and there he was now. She knew he'd be back but she thought he'd take longer than 10 bloody minutes, stupid __**MAN!**_

OoO

As soon as Clark raced up the stairs Chloe and Martha turned to each other, nodded and retreated outside.

"What's this, the third time?" Chloe asked with a slight smile leaning on the porch rail.

"Is it the third or fourth?" Martha asked taking a seat on the swing.

"Third, I think." Chloe began to hold up her fingers and count. "The first day when Clark told Lois they were engaged we went upstairs, the first day when Lois told Clark she wanted to change their lives we went to the barn, when Lois told Clark off yesterday we went to your room and this time; no you're right it's four."

Martha nodded and began to chuckle. "I know they argue but this has to be a record even for them."

"Yeah but you've gotta give them points for originality." At Martha's curious look Chloe expanded. "How many people can say they've argued with their fiancé and their fiancés younger self and tried to convince both of them not to throw him over?" Chloe's lips twitched, Martha began to chortle and the two of them ended up screaming with laughter.

"If Lo really believed he was trying to dump her, only god could have saved him from her wrath."

"You don't think she thought he was serious?"

"Oh she would have thought he was serious, but Lois knows Clark loves her, so I doubt she intended to let him get away from her that easily."

"The two of them would die without each other." Martha said quietly.

"Yes."

"Who do you think will win?" Martha asked with a knowing smile.

"Clark, no contest; he's not gonna let her go." The women looked at each other and nodded happily, knowing it was true.

"He's more even tempered, Lois more hot headed but they're both stubborn and passionate." Martha said with a small pleased smile.

"I wouldn't put it past him to gag her if he has to, but if she does try to flick him off she'll soon find that she has a super-escort every where she goes." Chloe said knowingly.

"And Lois?" Martha smiled.

"Hah! She'll give him hell, but he won't let that stop him." Martha nodded at Chloe's concise statement.

They could hear the murmur of voices rise and fall, but unlike the previous two fights this time there was no yelling. Neither knew if this was good or bad but they were grateful not to hear any of the couple's private matters.

"What the hell, Martha what's that?" Chloe asked pointing when a shirt was blown in front of the stairs.

"It looks like Clark's shirt; it must have blown off the line." When Martha stood up Chloe waved her back. "I'll get it, back in a sec."

She walked off the porch, retrieved the shirt and stared before turning her head back towards the older woman. "Um Martha, why don't you come down here for a minute." When Martha joined her, Chloe pointed, both looked at the clothes scattered over the driveway, some still clinging to the roof lightly waving in the wind, while a pair of briefs hung lonely from the drain pipe "Lois." They said in unison and nodding their heads began to laugh again before picking up the clothes.

"I'm not touching those; Clark can get 'em." Chloe said pointing to the briefs.

"They're clean." Martha replied with twitching lips.

"Yeah, but I don't want to have to tell Lois that I've been touching her fiancés briefs, she'd smack me just for the hell of it." Martha laughed lightly and reached up to retrieve the briefs.

They walked back up the porch stairs and dumped the clothes on the swing when they noticed the silence "Do you think it's safe to go back inside?"

"The last time we did that we had to beat a hasty retreat back to the barn." Chloe replied gesturing with her head towards the building.

"We'll wait for a few more minutes."

When ten more minutes passed with no sound they grabbed an arm full of clothes each, quietly re-entered the house, dumped the clothes in the laundry then returned to the kitchen to clean up the breakfast dishes.

Once the kitchen was clean, they poured themselves some coffee and sat at the table to wait. When they heard the light laughter coming from upstairs they smiled, all was well, thank god.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

Racing up the stairs Clark knocked on the door but finding no answer forthcoming, opened and closed the door quietly at his back then leant against it. Lois had never been neat, but seeing the trail of clothes from the closet to the small opened suitcase on the bed made him smile. Because they were here so often, they kept clothes at the farm on a permanent basis and had only brought a few extra things along with what was needed for the party. She'd never get all of her stuff into the small suitcase they'd brought, but right now she seemed infinitely unconcerned about that; obviously she just wanted to get all her things together and leave. She also seemed intent on ignoring his presence.

"Lois."

"What'd you want Clark, are you here to tell me someone else wants me now?" She demanded.

"No, Lo I thought…I thought you were someone else." He beseeched quietly.

"Right because I look like someone else. You know Clark if you didn't want to get married, if you wanted to break up, you could have just told me, not tried to shove me onto Oliver and then compound it by making up some crap about another woman. You could have at least picked someone that I know to make it more believable." She turned around and her eyes nailed him to the spot. "I don't know what your problem is and I really don't care right now, but if you think you can insult my intelligence by throwing out some cryptic garbage about another woman then I'm just going to save us both some time and leave anyway." She stalked to the Tallboy, pulled out a drawer, grabbed an armful of clothes and flung them in the direction of the overflowing suitcase.

"Lois, I don't want you to be with Oliver; I don't want you to be with anyone but me, and I don't want anyone but you." He said earnestly.

"That's not what you said ten minutes ago." She replied angrily, pulling out another arm full of clothes before stalking back to the bed to throw them at the suitcase then turned around to nail him with her eyes again. "In fact according to you who seems to know me so well; I don't love you, don't know what I want, am not ready for you and don't want you. You're an alien and I'm not used to you being you, whatever the hell that means. Do you know just how fucking stupid and condescending all of that sounds?"

When his mouth opened she swiftly rushed on. "No, you've had your say now it's my turn. You want me to be with Oliver; well you can go to hell. I'll decide who I want to be with." She slapped a hand on her chest and nodded her head emphatically. "ME! I'll decide, not you. You said that you wanted me to be free." She pointed to herself and shook her head "What you really meant is that **you** want to be free." She pointed at him and scoffed. "Well if you want it, you've got it! I will never beg anyone to stay with me that doesn't want to; especially a man who in one breath says he loves me and in the next he doesn't. I won't lower myself to do that, not even for you." She finished quietly.

Clark's heart hurt, seeing the hurt and anger in her eyes he wanted to kick himself and if he could reach his own ass he would, but her next words and the ones that followed began a slow burn in his gut.

He and Lois hardly ever had civilised fights, they weren't the kind of couple who sat around and quietly nursed their wounds; they usually yelled, screamed and made up. He knew that she was just lashing out in anger, and even though she didn't believe him about Joanne she was trying to get back at him anyway; but listening to her made his heart thump hard and the heat to gather until his temper rose to match hers.

"Baby sit down, let me explain."

"Don't you tell me what to do!" She flashed back. "You said you want me to be happy, well I'll tell you what Clark, I'll call you the next time I have sex; in fact I'll call you while I'm DOING IT and I can guarantee that I'll be **very** happy, and then we'll _both_ have what _you_ want."

"You won't ever be having sex with anyone but me." He returned firmly his eyes flaring with heat.

"You want me to be happy remember and we _both_ know that sex makes me happy; it releases all sorts of endorphins that can't be gotten any other way than by great sex." She lifted one brow, quirked her lips and lightly shook her head. "You're not the only man in the world; there's a whole world of men out there just waiting for me to explore."

"You can forget that idea right now." He replied calmly, his arms rippling and bunching. "Other men are off limits."

"Say's you." She scoffed back.

"Lois let me explain what happened, but don't push me." He struggled to hold onto the leash of the beast that wanted to break free at her talk of other men.

She saw the burn in his eyes, the jealousy and was bitchily glad to give back some of the anger she felt "A woman can get laid every damn second of her life if she wants to; what _we_ have is what men _want_." She gibed before looking him up and down with a dismissive look. "And I think my assets are more than good enough to get me what I want, so you see Clark, I don't need you." She said waving her hand in his direction.

"Well I need you, and your goddamn assets are mine!" He growled. "So you can forget about _ever_ having sex with anyone else, you will _only_ make love with me or no one, understood!" He walked forward and stopped a few steps in front of her.

"That's what you think." She mocked and angled her chin. "In fact I might just go out tonight and get laid by the first man I meet, and I'll make sure to call you right before I start screaming in ecstasy so you know that I'm _happy_."

"No you damn well won't!" He snarled. "You won't have the chance to do anything because I'll break anyone's fucking arms if they so much as touch you." His nostrils flared and the red rushed to his cheeks at the thought of any man touching his woman.

"Dog in the manger Clark?" She asked politely then shook her head. "Well now that we've both had our say, kindly leave while I finish packing." She turned her back effectively dismissing him.

He rushed forward, swept the case off the bed, wrapped his arms around her from behind, bent down and buried his face in her hair. "Don't ever throw having sex with other men in my face again. You belong to me!"

"No I don't, I'm free; that's what you wanted remember, for me to be _**free!**_" She spat out.

"I made a mistake." He said quietly.

"Tough! Let go of me Clark." She demanded tugging on his arms.

"No!" He locked his arms tighter around her and kissed the back of her neck. "Let me explain."

"No, now let go of me!"

"Baby, I've already told you that I won't let you go so you're wasting your time asking; now please just hear me out." He replied holding her tighter against his chest.

"I'm not interested." She tugged harder at his arms and began to squirm.

"Lois stop it; you're going to hurt yourself and then I'll be really pissed off."

"Good! Then we both will be; now let go."

"NO!" He held her gently but firmly, ensuring that no matter how hard she tried to get loose she couldn't, nor could she hurt herself. Thank god he was Superman and could wait out her struggle.

"Lo all you're doing is making me hard." He smiled slightly and kissed her shoulder. "You know very well that when we fight I sometimes get a 'hard on' because you're so damn sexy, now please Lo, stop." He shook his head when her struggling continued. "Baby unless you want me to take you where you're standing you'll stop struggling and let me explain."

"I said I'm not interested." She gritted angrily. "Not in you and not in sex with you."

"Liar, how many times have we been pissed off with each other and in the middle of fighting we ended up having sex, only to resume yelling again afterwards." He heard her soft snort and smiled again. "Shit Lo, you know that I'm crazy mad in love with you, so please just let me explain."

He knew that she was sneaky and that she wasn't tired, so when she stopped struggling he quickly turned her around and locked his arms around her fast before she could bolt away. "In the loft I thought you were someone else…" His voice trailed off; looking into her eyes he couldn't believe that he'd made such a colossal mistake earlier. He'd expected her to be young Lois so that's all he'd seen, he was an even bigger idiot then he'd previously thought.

"Are you deaf? I told you I'm not interested." Her voice was calm; her eyes were turbulent and her chin was stubborn.

He bent down but she turned her face away, grasping her hair, he gently turned her face back towards his and kissed her. When she refused to open her mouth he made do with light closed mouth kisses until she needed to take a breath, as soon as her mouth opened his tongue swept in and coaxed and encouraged hers until she responded.

Framing her face in his hands he kept kissing her until she pushed against him to breathe, he gave her a few moments grace before taking her mouth again, drawing his lips away only long enough to change the angle of the kiss.

Sweeping her up in his arms, he lifted his mouth long enough to blow the clothes of the bed then lay down and rolled her under him. When she turned her face away again, he made do with kissing her neck and lightly teasing her ear with his tongue but when he felt her shiver, he turned her face back towards his and once again locked his mouth onto hers. His hands swept up and down her body and when he felt her arms inch around his neck he groaned deep in his throat. He lifted his mouth and opened his eyes "I love you Lo." Unable to resist her mouth he framed her face in his hands and exchanged a few more small pecks. "Tell me you love me."

When she refused to say anything he smiled and kissed her again. "I can keep this up all day babe." When her jaw tightened he grinned. "And don't bother holding your breath because I can hold mine longer; now tell me you love me." When she pressed her lips together, he sighed and smiled. "Ok." Bending his head, his lips pressed against hers and stayed there until she needed to breathe again and as before his tongue swept inside, but his head lifted quickly when he tasted the salt of tears. He held her close while she cried, silently castigating himself for hurting her however inadvertently.

When she calmed, he reached over grabbed the tissues from the bedside table and wiped her eyes. She grabbed a few more and blew her nose. Her hair was a mess, her eyes were red, her nose was slightly pink, she didn't have a speck of make-up and he thought she was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

"I'm sorry Lo, I didn't mean it babe, not any of it." He said softly pressing a kiss against her forehead.

"Then why'd you say it?" She sniffled taking deep gulps of air.

"It was a stupid misunderstanding and I was an idiot." He leant up slightly and ran his hands down her sides to her waist and hips, then back up to her breasts and shoulders, and down again, unbelievably happy that she was back with him. Snaking his hand under her top, he ran it up her torso and cupped one breast.

"Forget it Clark, you said you wanted to explain, so explain." Lois said quietly, reaching up to pull his hand away but his hand turned and captured hers instead.

"I will Lo, I swear I will but …" His voice was cut off as his mouth once again latched onto hers.

"No Clark explain; right now!" She panted when his head lifted; her hands unconsciously roaming over his back and into his hair.

"Can't it wait until later, I want to take you home, I want to make love with you." He replied kissing her neck and burying his face in her hair.

"We're not doing anything until you explain." She pushed him away and attempted to sit up, but he wouldn't let her go so she had to be content to turn her back.

His arms locked tight around her, one hand snuck under her shirt to lazily caress her torso while he quietly gave her a succinct version of the past few days.

Lois listened, both quietly amazed and slightly amused at the tale. It seemed bizarre that something that had happened 8 years ago had affected them now. And the stupid, charming, adorable idiot thought he was doing her a favour by cutting her loose! She was going to have to tell the brainless chump that sending her off to be with someone else was never doing her a favour. Although having to deal with her younger self couldn't have been easy, hell if she'd had to deal with Skipper, Clark would have come back to an alcoholic fiancée. She understood why he dumped her, her younger self wouldn't have wanted him any more than she would have wanted Skipper. She wouldn't give him a hard time; he'd been through more than enough already.

After he grew silent she turned around and nodded. "So you thought you'd do the noble thing and let my younger self go to Oliver."

"Yeah, but the truth is Lo; I wouldn't have let you get further than the end of the driveway before coming after you." He replied running his hands over her back, to her bottom and up again.

"That's not what you said in the loft."

"In the loft I was trying to be chivalrous, I thought I could do it, I really did but if you did leave Lo, you would have found me stalking you every step of the way." He affirmed quietly and looking into his eyes she read the truth he'd spoken.

"Now that's too bad, I could have found out what sex with Oliver was like." She smiled slightly rolling on top of him.

"You're never going to find out what that's like Lo, you're mine!" He said possessively leaning forward to kiss her, then lifting his head to lock his eyes onto hers "I meant what I said earlier."

"Which part?"

"The part about breaking anyone's arms if they tried to touch you." He smiled self consciously. "Baby they wouldn't have had the chance to even lift their hand to buy you a drink, before they found said hand locked in a vice like grip, then I would have moved onto their arms. I can guarantee they wouldn't have been thinking about sex for long." He finished dryly.

"And you're supposed to be Superman." She gently chided kissing his chin.

"Hmm hmm but take away the 'super' part and I'm only a man. A man that loves you and the only man allowed the privilege of touching you." His hands slipped under her shirt to stroke her back.

"Selfish."

"Extremely, would you let another woman touch me?" He asked with a light mocking smile.

"Of course!" She laughed lightly at the disbelief on his face. "And the woman might as well enjoy it because I'd kill you both afterwards."

"You'd let us finish." He asked with raised eyebrow.

"Hey I'm going to be killing you, I can be nice enough to give you one last turn of the wheel; and I love you enough to make sure you suffer when I kill you, very very slowly." She leaned forward and pressed a hard kiss to his lips.

"Thank you."

"No problem, then I'd set up a TV and video for you, so that while you're choking out your last few breaths, you can watch me having an orgy with three or four really hot guys all pleasuring me at once." He smiled at her nonsense. "Then afterwards I'll come back into your room, kick you a couple of times and have sex next to your rotting dead corpse."

"My god but you're a vicious woman; I was only going to break hands and arms." He let out a burst of laughter at her narrative.

"Yeah but I'm letting you have sex one last time, so I should get points for compassion."

"Compassion!" At her nod he nodded in return. "Well I suppose since I get sex one last time. But I noticed you said the woman would get to enjoy it; if you really had compassion you'd make sure that I enjoyed it too."

"If you're going to have sex with some floozy knowing you're going to die for it afterwards, then it's up to you to make sure you enjoy it, not me." She countered smiling.

"You could make sure that I did; you could join us." He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows.

"I'm surprised you didn't say that she and I could go at it, while you sat back and watched."

"You'd do that for me?" He leaned forward and kissed her softly "Thank you Lo."

"I didn't agree." She laughed in reply and buried her face in his neck when he pouted; then lifted it again when he began to talk, their eyes smiling into each other's.

"I'm sure you agreed." He replied nodding his head virtuously. "And I appreciate it."

"I thought you had super hearing not selective hearing." She chuckled again.

He grinned at her response then leant forward and kissed her softly. "I've missed you so much Lo. I've missed laughing with you, talking with you and god I've missed holding you." He rolled her back underneath and pressed his lips to hers, sighing and humming deep in his throat while their tongues mated and her hands slipped under his shirt to stroke his back. His head lifted, his hands framed her face and his eyes locked onto hers. "I love you."

"I love you." She said quietly pulling his head back down to share another deep kiss.

When their lips parted he turned onto his side taking her with him, she hooked her leg over his, their hands stroked over each other while their eyes stayed locked.

She smiled and traced his chin with her fingers. "Obviously I did fall back asleep after my shower this morning and didn't even realise that anything had happened but I did know something was up the moment I got out of bed, you know how?" At his head shake she ran her fingers through his hair. "Because I didn't remember falling asleep last night, which means you must have put me to bed and you always put me to bed naked. Even when I used to go to bed when you were out on a Superman call, the first thing you always did when you came back and got into bed was to take anything I was wearing off." She smiled softly.

"I…I only…" Clark stuttered and shut up at the fish eye she gave him.

"Even when we stay here, if I pull on a nightie to leave the room in the middle of the night, as soon as I get back in bed your hands get busy taking it off me." She chuckled lightly.

"We had a deal, I only took off your nightdress to make sure that you kept up you're end of the bargain." He replied stoutly.

"Uh huh, I noticed you used to take off my nightie and get me naked before we made any deals…" She smiled again at the abashed look on his face "…but as I don't bother wearing anything to bed anymore, well except for panties at certain times, or when I wear something to…."

"To drive me crazy, something that both reveals and conceals all my favourite parts." He smiled cutting in.

"Uh huh, I knew something was going on when I woke up and found that I was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt." She finished and kissed him lightly.

"As pretty as they are, I prefer your skin against mine, so now that you're back your nightdresses can be put away again, and the sweatpants can be worn for lounging around the house but definitely not in bed." He nodded and grinned.

"Is that right?" Lois lifted a brow. "Keep it up and I'll go and buy a whole bunch of flannel pyjamas Mr Dictator."

"Sorry baby, you can wear anything you like to bed." He said remorsefully and when she nodded, he grinned again. "I'll just take it off you, so it really makes no difference to me." He laughed when she slapped him. "But make sure you still wear the sexy nighties, you won't have them on for long but I enjoy the hell out of them anyway."

"Hmm, and what's this about 'favourite parts'. I thought it was my mind you admired." Her eyes glinted with suppressed laughter.

"I love your mind but when we make love, it's you and your hot body I'm thinking about; and if you really wanted me to think about your mind you'd bring a book to bed, not wear a sexy piece of nothing that you know is going to make me start howling." He chuckled at herself satisfied grin, kissed her quickly, sat them both up, grasped her hand with his and tugged "C'mon".

"C'mon where?"

"Home, I want to take you home."

"Clark we just got here." She laughed softly, running a hand through her hair.

"No, we've been here for nearly a week and there were times I didn't think I'd ever see you again, now I intend to be selfish and keep you to myself. We'll come back tonight I promise, but today I want you to myself."

"To do what exactly?" She asked lifting an eyebrow.

"I have one or two ideas and they all contain you, me and bed." He smiled wickedly.

She nodded and smiled knowingly. "I thought you'd say that. Well, I have to get dressed in some warm clothes for the flight, because I have a feeling were not going to drive, right?" She grinned at the look on his face. "So how about you go downstairs, tell your mom and Chloe that I'm not going to kill you, let them know that we're leaving and I'll be down soon."

"I'll stay."

"Clark if you stay we won't be going anywhere, now go."

"Ok" He got up and began to walk towards the door before reversing direction to sweep her up in his arms and exchange a few more heated kisses. "Don't take long."

He turned back towards the door but stopped and turned back at her call. "Um you might want to go and pick up your clothes." She said with a shrug and sheepish smile.

"My clothes?"

She cleared her throat and pointed to the window "Yeah, I…ah, I kinda threw them outside."

"You threw my clothes outside!" He shook his head and laughed. "Baby when you're pissed you don't take any prisoners." He came back and kissed her again. "I think you should pick them up since you threw them outside."

"Ok, but that just means we're going to be here longer." She smirked running her finger down his chest.

"I'll go pick them up." He replied nodding. "You hurry up and put some warm clothes on."

"I have to find them in all this mess first."

"Then allow me to help." He raced around the room, put all the items back where they belonged and stopped in front of her. "There, now hurry woman."

OoO

"Well" Chloe inquired curiously as soon as he got downstairs.

"I gave her an abbreviated version of what's been going on, she didn't want to listen at first but I made her. We're fine, and although she thinks I'm an idiot, she understands." He smiled in relief.

"Even the Joanne part?"

"She didn't believe for a minute that I wanted someone called Joanne. She thought I'd made her up and told me that I should have come up with a name that she knew; she was more angry about the Oliver part and ah...other things."

"I'm just glad it worked out, I'd hate to see what happened if Lois did leave you for Oliver."

"I told her that I wouldn't have let her get further than the end of the driveway before going after her." He shrugged in embarrassment.

"So you're basically saying that your noble speech was a bunch of bull." Chloe stated unsurprised.

"No, I really thought I could do it Chlo and it was the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I should have known that I wouldn't be able to go through with it." He shook his head and gave a chagrined half smile.

"I'm just glad that Lois said what she did about Joanne or none of us would have realised that she was back." Martha smiled in relief.

"So am I mom; um…. can you please just excuse me for a minute, I have to go pick up my clothes from outside, Lo …" He cleared his throat at the grins both women wore. "Lo kinda threw them out the window."

"We picked them up for you."

He looked between Chloe and his mom and smiled sheepishly "Thanks."

"How do you think it happened? Lois was …well she was her younger self when she woke up and now …." Chloe trailed in question.

"Who cares Chlo, none of us figured out anything, so it seems that young Lois was right and she just left as suddenly as she came."

"I don't think it's that simple though." She shook her head. "We still have to talk about our memory being altered."

"I know and we will, but at the moment I just want to enjoy having my fiancé back. I promise we'll talk about everything, but for now I just want to be with Lo, ok?" At both women's understanding smiles and nods he grinned in thanks. "I'm taking her home."

"Honey, you don't have to leave." Martha protested, knocking Chloe's arm with hers at Clark's blush, then stepped forward and hugged him tight. "I'm so happy for you sweetie, you go and be with Lois, when will you be back?"

"Tonight, we'll come back for dinner, but don't bother cooking mom, I'll bring something ok?"

"Ok, thanks sweetie." She said kissing his cheek.

"Thanks mom and thanks Chloe, I couldn't have gotten through the last few days without the two of you." He said sincerely.

"We'll always be here for both of you." Chloe said taking her turn to hug him tight and pulling away at the sound of Lois' voice.

"So Martha, you'll tell everyone the engagements off, right?" Lois asked politely walking down the stairs and coming to a stop in front of the three of them.

"Like hell! Don't listen to her mom, we're getting married!" Clark said firmly.

"No we're not, the last I heard you broke the engagement." She replied loftily.

"Lo, don't even start with me; we're getting married, end of story!" He argued back, but the twinkle in his eye couldn't be suppressed.

Chloe and Martha stood silently by, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle of Clark and Lois together and in action.

"Hmm we'll see, but remind me when I come back to have a little chat with the two of you about smacking him in the head when he's being an ass." Lois said, elbowing Clark in the ribs.

"Oh honey, I'm just so glad you're back that I'll sit quietly while you tell us off." Martha replied, pulling Lois into a fierce hug.

"Me too!" Chloe nodded and when Martha wouldn't let Lois go she became impatient. "Hey let me get in there." Chloe called wrapping her arms around the two of them.

Wiping her eyes Martha pulled back and smiled mistily, then reached back to grab Clark's hand.

When the two ladies finally let Lois go, Clark wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her against his side. "Mom, Chlo, we'll see you both tonight ok?" He said urging Lois hastily towards the door.

"Clark." Lois laughed in protest.

He stopped short at the door, turned his head and threw over his shoulder "Can one of you please call Oliver and tell him Lo's back." At their nods he smiled "Thanks, bye." Slamming the door behind him, he spun into his Superman suit, raced to the barn to retrieve the ring, and was back less than a moment later to scoop Lois up in his arms and fly towards home.

OoO

"God, I feel exhausted, as if I can finally rest after a long hard day." Chloe replied happily.

"I know; I can't believe it's all over." Martha nodded grinning.

"Do you think it is?" Chloe asked curiously.

"Well we still have to discuss everything, but we know that Lois never went through anything like this again, so I'm hoping that everything's going to be alright from now on." Martha said optimistically and crossed her fingers.

"Me too." She replied with fervour. "And since I didn't get much sleep last night and the bed upstairs is free, I'm going to crawl into it and sleep the day away right after I call Oliver."

"I'm going to go crawl into my own bed and do the same."

The two women looked at each other grinned and hugged.

OoO

Lana sat at the dining table the tears streaking her face as she looked at the mockery of all her hopes and dreams. She'd thrown away the food but the table was still set, the flowers still smelt beautiful and looked as fresh as they had the day before. The silverware and crystal glistened in the morning light and the CD player was on repeat constantly churning out the song, 'You and Me'.

Joanne would be back by now, Clark would be with her and knowing that, she felt the knife dig a bit deeper into her heart.

Last night she hadn't wanted to face the possibility of bringing Joanne back, and even though she'd put it off until well after waking up, in the end she'd reversed the spell and sent young Lois back and returned Joanne.

She'd let herself be swayed by Clark, he didn't remember what he'd said to her but she did. She remembered every word and expression and she'd wanted to prove to herself that she wasn't selfish, that she did love him enough to want him to be happy even if it was with someone else. So she'd brought Joanne back and found that she couldn't be happy for him; that it was impossible and asking too much.

He wasn't supposed to be with anyone but her; he never would have turned to someone else, never would have turned _from_ her if she hadn't spurned him and utterly fucked up their lives by marrying Lex.

She had to change their past; that was what she'd always intended to do anyway. She had to fix their lives before it had all gone wrong so that Lois could never become a threat to their happiness. She didn't know how to do it, but there had to be something, she'd go through her spell book again and again and next time she'd get it right. Clark **would** be hers again and they'd be happy, really happy, just as they were always meant to be.


	35. Chapter 35

Well here are the last 4 chapters. Rather than dragging it out for another week, I decided to post it all in one shot. However, it is long so if you don't have either the time or inclination to read it now you may want to come back later.

Linda

OoO

**Chapter 35**

_Day Six: 2007_

While eating breakfast, Clark and Martha threw surreptitious looks in Chloe's direction, exchanged eye contact then looked back at Chloe; the concern in their eyes clear to see but she was unaware of their scrutiny. She ate her breakfast silently with an abstracted expression on her face, until she looked up, caught them staring and tried to smile.

"Its six days now. I was so sure that Lois was going to wake up before this, but now I…" She trailed off and shrugged leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Chloe…" Clark was cut off by the ringing of Chloe's phone, he watched as she picked it up, took a deep breath and answered. Seeing the look on her face, seeing her eyes light up he quickly tuned in before turning to his mom with a huge smile on his face.

"It's the hospital, Lois is awake." Martha smiled, she'd known just by the expression on Chloe's face, but actually hearing the news made her heart feel lighter than it had for days.

Chloe hung up and turned to them with a beaming smile. "She's awake, she's ok…She's ok and she's awake;" then promptly burst into tears. Martha pushed back her chair, hurried over and pulled her up into a hug while Clark looked on in bemusement.

"Um Chlo, I thought…is everything alright?" He asked rubbing his ear.

"Everything's fine honey, now that she knows Lois is ok, Chloe just needs a good cry."

"Ok." He nodded in understanding then shook his head at the odd workings of the feminine mind.

When Chloe stopped crying, she re-took her seat and told them between sniffles and blowing her nose that Lois had woken up a short time ago, the doctor was currently with her, but he'd given the go ahead for her to be notified that all appeared well.

Once she finished telling them the news, she jumped out of her seat and rushed towards the stairs stopping only long enough to explain that she wanted to grab her jacket and purse, stop at the Talon and get some clothes for Lois in case she could leave the hospital, then go onto the Medical Centre. Knowing they couldn't stop her, and having no desire to do so they nodded and told her they were going with her.

Within 5 minutes they were in the car, a quick stop was made at the Talon and they were soon once again on their way to the Medical Centre, for the first time in days the atmosphere was cheerful and animated on the short drive. Chloe pulled out her phone and left a message for Lois' dad, then quickly dialled her own father to give him the news.

When Gabe Sullivan heard the joviality in his daughter's voice he knew the news was going to be good and was relieved that his niece was alright. He knew that his Chloe would forever be haunted by losing her favourite cousin, and for the first time in days he felt truly happy; not only for his daughter but also for both of his nieces, his brother in law and himself.

Clark had barely stopped the car before Chloe flung open the door and started walking towards the hospital doors at a fast clip. Martha grabbed the overnight bag and hurried to catch up, but when she saw Chloe almost trip in her haste, she gestured for Clark to go. He sped over, grabbed Chloe's arm, shook his head, waited for his mom to catch up and continued walking towards the doors at a more sedate pace ignoring Chloe's impatient tugs on his arm.

"Chloe do you wanna see Lois, or join her in the next bed?" He asked patiently with a quirk to his lips.

She looked between Martha and Clark and let out a light laugh. "Sorry; sorry, I just wanna see her for myself."

"You will and it will either be in five minutes, or it will be after the doctor has to strap your ankle when you sprain it from falling." He replied deadpan laughing when she hit him.

They walked into the Medical Centre and straight to Lois' room but found the blinds were drawn. A nurse came out a moment later, saw them and smiled. "She's fine, the doctors just finishing up with her and then you can go in ok?" Her voice was professional but sympathetic, understanding their frustration at having to wait.

When the doctor came out a few minutes later it was to the sight of three anxious faces. "She's good but confused; she doesn't know why she's here; the last thing she remembers is going to sleep in her apartment."

"But she's ok?"

"She's perfectly fine Ms Sullivan, just confused but otherwise I can't find a thing wrong with her." He smiled and patted Chloe on the arm then gestured with his head. "Why don't you go in, I think she'll be happy to see some familiar faces?"

He didn't need to give the invitation twice; Chloe nodded, thanked him, pushed the door open and walked into the room with Cark and Martha right behind her. For the first time since Clark found her, all three saw Lois wide awake and all three simultaneously sent up silent prayers of thanks.

Chloe let out a tremulous smile then threw herself at Lois, hugged her tight and once again burst into tears.

Lois rubbed her back, patted her arm then lifted her hands in a shrug when her cousin wouldn't let go. Looking over at the Kent's, she rolled her eyes and smiled at the huge grins beaming back at her, before once again concentrating on her cousin who was currently stuck to her like a limpet. "I'm ok Chlo, I'm really ok sweetie." She said softly.

Chloe lifted her head, swiped her hand under her nose then roundly berated her cousin for the scare she'd given everyone. Lois nodded and apologised meekly; making everyone laugh at the spectacle of pushy, loud Lois Lane allowing her younger cousin to tell her off.

Clark and Martha leaned over and kissed Lois' cheek then all three took seats around the bed.

"How are you feeling Lois, really?" Chloe reached over and picked up her cousin's hand holding on tight.

"I'm fine Chlo, I don't feel weird or anything; I just feel like I went to sleep and woke up again."

"For six days."

"Not quite, the doctor told me today's the sixth day, and as I'm awake today it was only for five days."

"Five and a half." Chloe stubbornly corrected.

"Ok, Chlo five and a half and now that I'm awake I just wanna get out of here." Lois said with a slight grimace.

"Did you have any dreams Lois?" Martha asked concerned.

"Dreams?" Lois asked curiously.

"Like the time when everyone in Smallville was affected and they fell unconscious; remember Lo, I told you about it?" Chloe put forward quickly.

"No, I don't remember dreaming or having weird visions, nothing like that." She shook her head and sighed. "I can't remember anything."

"Nothing at all?"

"No, nothing at all." She confirmed shaking her head again.

When her phone rang, Chloe quickly grabbed her bag, rushed into the bathroom and closed the door hoping the staff hadn't heard the ring. Hearing her uncle's voice on the other end of the line, hearing the tone of hope coming from him, she began to softly weep in between telling him that his daughter was not only wide awake but perfectly fine.

She walked back into the room, held the phone out to Lois, put Clark on guard at the window to watch out for any stray nurses that could wander in, then she and Martha gave Lois some privacy for her phone call.

The two women smiled at each other, relief at seeing Lois awake and well, evident on both of their faces. When Lois hung up the phone and sniffled all three turned around again. "That was daddy, he just wanted to say hi and tell me that he's glad I'm ok." She lifted her arm over to the bedside table trying to reach for a tissue, Martha plucked one out, handed it to her then grabbed the box, offered a tissue to Chloe and grabbed another for herself.

Once all eyes had been wiped and sniffles had ceased, the talk once again turned to Lois' reason for sleeping for five and a half days, but after much discussion it was clear that Lois had no memory of having dreams, visions or anything else.

When Lois asked when she could leave, Martha excused herself and returned moments later. "The doctor said you can leave anytime honey, he would prefer you to stay here for a few more hours just to be on the safe side, but he said that they can't make you stay."

"Then I'm going to leave now." Lois nodded decisively.

"Oh no you're not!" Chloe countered back in the same tone, and at her cousin's surprised look she flushed but firmed her chin. "You're staying right here Lois, right here until the doctor says otherwise."

"But Chlo…"

"Forget it, you're staying here and that's all there is to it. I'll stay and keep you company but you're not going anywhere just yet." She returned adamantly.

Seeing the mulish look on her cousin's face Lois nodded and gave in gracefully. "I'll stay too." Clark smiled then grinned at the look Lois threw him. He was looking forward to arguing with her again, in fact he couldn't wait.

"Well I'm going home to clean up, then I'm going to the market to buy something for dinner; Lois what'd you feel like?" Martha smiled and picked up her hand. "You name it and if I can make it, I will."

"Umm…anything Mrs Kent, I love your cooking so anything would be great thanks." Lois smiled in appreciation squeezing Martha's hand.

"Ok, it'll be a surprise and tonight we're going to celebrate." She nodded kissed Lois on the cheek and retrieved the car keys from Clark. "Give me a call when you're ready and I'll come back and pick you all up, ok?" When they nodded, she gave one last smile and slipped out the door.

OoO

Chloe and Clark took turns filling Lois in on all that had happened from the moment she was found by Clark to the morning's phone call from the hospital.

"Well farmboy, some super sleuth you turned out to be." She laughed when they finally ran down.

Yep, he was glad Lois was back. "Chloe didn't figure it out either Lois, so there."

"Good come back." She replied deadpan, her face was completely straight but her eyes were filled with both mirth and teasing.

"I don't know why I was worried about you, I bet you've been faking all this time; maybe I should take back the candy bar I bought you." He quickly palmed the candy from the top of the bedside table before she could see it.

"So where is it? No don't tell me, in all your worry you ate it, right?" She winked at Chloe, turned back to smirk at Clark and found him twirling the bar in his fingers "Give it!"

"Uh uh...ah…not until you say the magic word." He teased, laughing when she reached out to grab the bar.

"You've gotta be kidding me, the magic word."

"You want the chocolate or not?" He asked wafting it past her nose then quickly snatching it out of reach.

"Smallville give it to me!" She demanded through gritted teeth but the cheer in her voice couldn't be suppressed.

The game continued with Clark baiting Lois, she pretending no interest in the candy bar but occasionally reaching out to grab it only to miss each time. All three were enjoying themselves and it was in the middle of all the laughter that Lana entered the room. She opened the door, heard the laughter, saw the smiles on everyone's faces and was glad that Lois was awake but felt slightly left out at the same time.

When she entered all faces turned to her, she smiled at Chloe, gave Clark a quick look then turned her attention to the occupant in the bed. "I'm glad you're awake Lois, Mrs Kent called and told me the good news."

"Thanks Lana." Lois smiled and gestured her to take a seat. "And hey thanks again." At the curious look cast back at her, she explained. "Clark and Chlo told me that you tried to find out what was wrong and I appreciate it."

"No problem, I'm just sorry that we couldn't find anything." She said with a shrug and half smile.

"You tried, you all tried and that's what counts." Lois replied sweeping them all a look of gratitude.

"I'm pretty sure you would have done the same thing for any of us." Clark put forward.

"Yeah I would, but what I wouldn't do is purposely taunt a sick person with chocolate and then not let them have it." She promptly replied.

"You're no more sick than I am." He snorted before giving in and handing over the candy bar at her slight pout.

"Sucker!" She laughed, ripping of the paper and biting off a chunk before waving the bar around offering a bite to any takers of which Chloe was the only one.

"Isn't it a little early for chocolate?" Lana asked hesitantly.

"It's never too early for chocolate." Chloe and Lois promptly replied, casually devouring the rest of the bar.

The four talked casually, recounting and rehashing all the news of which there was little. When lunch was brought around Clark left and came back with sandwiches and soup for himself and the girls and while Lois ate her lunch they did also.

Shortly afterwards the doctor returned and shooed everyone out of the room, he came out 20 minutes later, nodded and smiled. "She's good and can go home whenever she's ready. She's still a little shaky so I've told her that I want her to take it easy. I want her to rest for a few days and come back or call me if she feels even slightly ill ok?" At Chloe's nod he patted her on the arm and left.

"Clark, can you call your mom to come pick us up?" Clark began to nod when Lana's voice cut in. "I can take you all home, I've got the car outside and it will save your mom from having to come back."

"Thanks Lana." Chloe smiled gratefully. "Ok, I'll go and tell Lois she's grounded for a few days, hopefully the doctors already broken that news to her and we'll be out as soon as she's dressed. I'm gonna stay close in case she needs me, ok?" When they nodded she hurried back into the room.

OoO

Clark and Lana stood outside the room, neither spoke, neither looked at each other openly. Every now and again they glanced at each other then quickly look away upon finding the other's eyes on them.

When the door finally opened with Chloe ushering Lois out the room both let out inward smiles of relief.

"Are you ok Lois?" Clark asked concerned watching as she held onto the wall while clumsily walking down the corridor, Chloe was hovering over her cousin and he understood her concern, Lois didn't look well at well.

"I'm fine, just a little unsteady and dizzy but otherwise good." She turned and grimaced. "Um Chloe, can you take my purse and pay what I owe, I'll just sit here while you check me out, ok?"

Chloe nodded rushed over to the office, paid the bill then came back. "I put it on my credit card Lo; you can pay me back later." She tacked on when Lois opened her mouth and was relieved when her cousin sighed and nodded.

"Thanks Chloe, well I'm feeling better now so let's just go, huh." Lois got to her feet, feeling slightly steadier on her legs, however, the nausea was still present and she hoped it would soon pass.

"Are you sure Lois, maybe you should stay a little longer?" Clark put forward the suggestion, exchanging a worried look with Chloe and Lana.

"Clark I'm fine, I'm feeling a bit unsteady, but otherwise I'm ok, really." Her voice was firm, and seeing the determined glint in her eye, no one tried to say otherwise.

They watched her carefully, each letting out sighs of relief when they noticed that she was no longer walking hesitantly, she was a little slower than normal but otherwise she seemed fine. Clark listened to her pulse and heart and found both in good working order and surreptitiously let Chloe know that all was well.

When they reached the car Lois all but folded into the back seat, Chloe sat beside her, with Clark in the front seat beside Lana.

Lois closed her eyes then quickly opened them at Chloe's prod "I'm fine Chlo, I'm just tired which is odd considering I've been asleep for five and a half days, but I really am feeling ok."

Chloe nodded and allowed Lois to close her eyes, she wanted to prod her again but didn't. If Lois wasn't feeling alright she'd still say she was fine, her cousin was one of the most stubborn people she knew but she wouldn't change a thing about her. What she would do was keep an eye on her, and if Lois wasn't alright she'd have her back in the Medical Centre whether Lois liked it or not.

OoO

Lois enjoyed the blessed silence in the car, she didn't know why she'd felt light-headed and dizzy earlier, but the feeling of nausea was gone for which she was grateful; she still felt incredibly tired but all in all she was just glad to be out of the hospital.

She didn't know what had caused her to be comatose for 5 and a half days but it frightened her. If she hadn't woken up this morning, did that mean she might never have woken up at all, or did that mean that years could have passed while she was slept, unaware that the world and life was passing her by? But what terrified her most was the possibility that it could happen again and she wouldn't even know it.

She wished she could remember something, anything because no matter how bad any dreams she had were, they would have to be better than the blank black nothing she had right now; the nothingness scared her more than any dreams could.

If she had to die, she'd prefer see and know what was coming at her, rather than going to sleep and waking up on the other side. If there was another side; which would still have to be better than the complete nothingness she had right now.

Suppressing an inward shudder she resolved to try and find out if there was a way for her to remember something. Hypnotherapy was supposed to be good, it uncovered long buried secrets people hid in their psyche; she wasn't comfortable with anyone tip-toeing through her head but if she had to do it, if it was her last resort, she would.

She only knew one thing for certain that made no sense, for the first time in over a year she desperately craved a cigarette. Long after she'd given up, just the smell of tobacco would make her yearn; she'd quit more than two years ago and it hadn't been easy, it was well over a year after she quit that she could smell cigarette smoke and not have to reach for a stick of gum. But the gum wouldn't satisfy the craving she had now. Right now, she'd happily chew someone's arm off if they tried to come between her and getting the taste of nicotine in her mouth, and it had to come from a cigarette.

"Lana would you mind stopping at the market, I need to get something." She opened her eyes and smiled at the other girl in the rear view mirror relaxing at the answering nod.

When the car stopped she undid the seat belt and opened the door but stopped at Chloe's question.

"Want me to run in for you Lo?" Chloe offered.

"No it's fine Chloe but thanks, I'll only be a moment then we can get going again." She got out of the car, walked into the market, straight up to the register, purchased a packet of cigarettes, lighter and extra strong peppermints. Tucking them into her purse, she sighed in relief at having them on hand. She might never smoke one, she really didn't want to take up the habit again but at least she had them which both calmed her and made her feel ashamed of her weak will.

She wouldn't smoke them, she nodded decisively to herself, keeping them was her way of showing how strong she could be by never opening the pack, and stubbornly ignoring the mocking laughter in her head, zipped the purse closed and walked back to the car.

OoO

They got back to the house in the early afternoon to find Mrs Kent preparing dinner.

"Lana would you like to stay for dinner; we're having a little celebration for Lois." She smiled and continued. "It's going to be early; I don't think any of us have gotten much sleep lately so I'm hoping we can eat around 5 if that's ok with everyone." When they all nodded she smiled. "I'm sorry but now that we know you're ok dear, I'm hoping to go to bed early and sleep the night away."

Lois smiled in understanding. "That's fine Mrs Kent, I'll probably go to sleep early myself."

"And I want you and Chloe to stay here tonight, just for tonight." She repeated when both girls opened their mouths, when they nodded and smiled in thanks, she smiled back. "Ok that's settled, so Lana, will you stay for dinner?" She turned and addressed the third girl once again.

"I'd like that, thanks Mrs Kent, I'll just call Lex and let him know that I'll be back later." She pulled out her phone, stepped back outside, made the call and returned a few minutes later.

Chloe and Lana helped with the dinner, Clark retreated outside to take care of farm chores and feeding the animals and Lois sat and kept the women company for a while before deciding to take a walk.

"Um I'm just going outside, I feel like a short walk to stretch my legs." Snagging her purse she gave a brief wave and headed for the door turning at Chloe's call.

"Lo, you want some company?"

"Thanks Chloe but I won't be long; you stay and help with the cooking. I've got my phone if I need you but I'm just going to walk to end of the driveway and back ok?" At Chloe's nod, she opened the door and stepped outside.

Her footing was steadier but still slow as she walked down the steps. "Hey Shelby." Bending down she gave the dog a pat and scratch before standing back up to continue down the driveway, Shelby faithfully trotting beside her.

Stopping at the end of the driveway, she turned around, looked at the house, walked a bit further down the road, reached into her purse, pulled out the cigarettes, ripped off the cellophane, lit the cigarette, dragged deep, and promptly began coughing and hacking.

"Shit!" Feeling light headed she sat down on the grass and once again lifted the stick to her mouth, this time inhaling lightly then closed her eyes as the taste filled her mouth. _God, she'd forgotten just how good that was;_ one hand absently scratched Shelby while the other leisurely lifted the cigarette until it was finished. Having been deprived for so long she wanted another and reached into her purse then paused.

No more, she'd given in and had one but no more. She was stronger than that, she didn't need cigarettes. She'd throw the rest away, taking them out of her purse; she drew her arm back, then stopped. She'd keep them, throwing them away just showed that she was too weak to see them without giving in. Tucking them back into her purse, she shook out a couple of peppermints tossed them into her mouth, stood up, brushed off her pants and began the trek back to the house with Shelby by her side; completely unaware that Clark had seen her walking out of the house and watched to ensure that she was ok.

He didn't know that Lois had started smoking again, in fact when she started coughing it didn't look or sound like she was enjoying it at all but when she closed her eyes and smoked the rest of the stick, she appeared to savour every lungful.

When he saw her almost throw the pack away he'd been proud that she wasn't going to give into the habit again, but when she put the pack back in her purse he'd been disappointed. It was her life, her lungs, he couldn't tell her what to do, she wouldn't appreciate it and it was none of his business anyway, but he still felt let down.

He shook his head and hoped that she didn't start up again, mostly for her health's sake but also for her love life. What guy would want to kiss a girl who smoked? He certainly never would, but ultimately it was her choice and her love life, not his.

OoO

The mood in the house was light and happy and when dinner was served the same atmosphere prevailed. Everyone was smiling and talking during the meal, laughing and joking while cleaning up and relaxed and happy afterwards.

After yawning for the third time in a row Martha excused herself. "I'm sorry everyone but I have to go to bed." She kissed her son, smiled at Lana, squeezed Chloe's hand then pulled Lois into a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're ok sweetie."

"Thanks Mrs Kent and thank you for looking after Chloe." Lois replied softly so only Martha would hear.

"You're welcome honey, see you in the morning." She brushed a kiss across Lois' cheek, called out good night and retreated up the stairs.

"I hope no one minds but I'm going to sleep as well." Turning to Clark she beamed a smile; "Smallville you're on the couch tonight, Chloe and I are taking your bed." She laughed when he sneered in a good natured way then ruffled his hair affectionately "Thanks Clark, good night everyone." Lois called and headed up the stairs.

"I'm going to head off as well." Lana said quietly, she grasped Chloe's hand and squeezed it gently. "I'm so glad Lois is alright Chloe."

"Thanks Lana, and thanks for your help." Chloe replied squeezing the hand in return.

"Anytime." She nodded, threw a fleeting glance in Clark's direction giving him a polite social smile, said good night and left.

"Well Clark it's just you and me and you know what?"

"Let me guess, you're going to bed too." He asked in amusement.

"You didn't tell me that ESP was one of your powers." She smirked. "But yeah, I think your mom's right, now that I know Lois is ok, I feel like I can finally relax and all I wanna do is catch up on all the sleep I've lost."

"Mom's usually right about that kind of stuff. It's ok Chloe, you go onto bed, powers or not, I don't think I'll be awake for much longer myself." He nodded and gave a sheepish smile at her gurgle of laughter.

She gave him a hard hug then pulled back. "Thanks Clark, for helping me for…well for everything really."

"You don't have to thank me Chloe, I was happy to do it but I'm certainly glad that all's well that ends well." He said with feeling then grinned at her almost fierce nod.

She said goodnight, retreated upstairs and he was left alone. Lying on the couch he felt good. Lois was awake and ok, Chloe was happy, his mom didn't have the look of anxiety in her eyes that she'd worn since this all started and he was happy with all of that.

Lana was still lost to him but he didn't have time today to worry about her, or their broken relationship. He'd been in her presence and although his heart hurt at seeing what he'd lost, he could say that he was honestly so glad that Lois was alright, that he hadn't had time to dwell on Lana at all, and now he could only hope that that stayed true.

Yawning he turned over and closed his eyes, and once again thoughts of Lana began to stir. He didn't want to start thinking of her again; that would only lead him to despondency but as he drifted off to sleep the last thing he saw in his minds eye was Lana's face.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36**

_Day Six: 2015_

Clark flew back to Metropolis holding Lois close against his chest. He couldn't believe the nightmare was over. He was with Lois and she wasn't trying to tell him how wonderful Lana was, she wasn't uncomfortable being in his arms; she was his Lois and she loved him.

This morning he'd gone from devastation to immense joy and now couldn't stop from smiling, he was barely able to hold in the shout of laughter he wanted to let out. He certainly hoped no one managed to catch a photo of Superman flying with Lois Lane in his arms, because if they did and it got in the paper, no one would believe either of them when Lois and Superman said they were just friends.

He'd tried to suppress his smile several times but could feel it creep back on his face time and again.

"You'd better think of something sad." Lois said amused.

"I can't." He replied turning his face to look at her and could feel the smile widen again.

"You'd better, or no one will believe that we're not having a hot affair." She kept her face straight but her fingers idly ran over and over the back of his neck.

"Well it would be easier if you weren't touching me."

"Ok." Her arm slid around his neck in a practical but platonic fashion that no one would or could question.

"You didn't have to stop Lo." He reproved lightly, his smile dimming.

"You can call me Joanne."

"Joanne?" His eyebrow lifted as his smile crept up again.

"Uh huh and I'll call you Skipper." She laughed lightly.

"Skipper was my younger self." He corrected quickly.

"I know; I'll be his Mrs Robinson." She wiggled her eyebrows then straightened her face again.

"Forget it!" He kept his face stern but he knew the laughter was still present in his eyes.

"Just think Skipper; you can have a hot steamy affair with an older woman."

"I'm already having a hot steamy relationship with an older woman."

"Only 1 year older, but if you were 19 just think of how much more exciting it would be." She blew lightly in his ear, smiling when he shivered.

"Would you really want to have sex with Skipper?" He asked with a smile.

"Uh…ok forget Skipper." Lois shook her head. "Sorry hon, but he was not my kind of guy; way too broody, way too whiney and way too many Lana issues."

"Thought so." Clark nodded and smirked.

As they neared Metropolis their expressions changed; his became cool and aloof to suit Superman; hers the professional reporter looking for a story "Where are you going to land?"

"In an alley a couple of streets from our apartment, it's early but it's also a work day, so I'm hoping no one's around." Using his x-ray vision he checked the site and seeing all was clear landed in the alley, stepping behind the dumpsters he quickly spun into his clothes and came back out.

"C'mon Lo, let's go home." Holding hands they walked towards their apartment but stopped short on hearing the distinct sound of sirens.

Lois looked at Clark to find his eyes were closed and his head was shaking back and forth "Umm…aren't you gonna go?"

"I'm sure they're fine." He nodded firmly then rolled his eyes skyward when two police cars flashed past followed by a third, then a fourth. "I'm sure they're perfectly fine."

"Clark c'mon." She smiled poking him in the stomach.

"Lo…Fine." He huffed. "Why is it that people always need Superman just when he's about to get some?"

"Karma." Was her prompt reply and at his incredulous look she began to chuckle.

"I'll meet you at home." He pecked her cheek, shook his head, walked casually back into the alley, then all that could be seen was a blur shoot through the sky heading in the direction of the police cars.

Lois dug into her purse, pulled out the cigarettes and finding there were only a couple left decided to stop in at the market. While purchasing the cigarettes she saw the chocolates and unable to resist, bought a box and some peppermints before continuing on her way. Once outside the store she quickly lit up a cigarette and inhaled deeply, closing her eyes as the taste filled her mouth. _God she'd needed that_, _she'd needed a cigarette desperately when she'd been storming around the bedroom earlier but had refused to give in. However, now that Clark wasn't around she could smoke to her hearts content without trying to hide it from him. _Smoking lazily while strolling the rest of her way home she enjoyed every lungful, grateful that he'd been called away and she could give into the vice they both knew she had, but refused to acknowledge.

Once home she dumped her purse and the chocolates on the kitchen table, walked through the bedroom straight into the bathroom and began to strip. She quickly brushed her teeth, gargled with mouthwash then stepped into the shower, she was cold and a shower would warm her up quicker then turning on the central heating and waiting for it to kick in. No matter how much Clark loved her, he wouldn't be turned on by a fiancé who'd become blue from the cold.

Pinning her hair up so it wouldn't get wet, she stepped into the shower, turned the taps on full, let the water run for a few minutes until it was warm enough then stood under the spray allowing the water to sluice over her body just revelling in the warmth. Picking up the shower puff, she filled it with body wash and began to lather down but had to lean against the shower tile when she started to feel nauseas and shaky on her legs.

Quickly finishing her shower she stepped out, wrapped a towel around her body, stepped back into the bedroom, took a seat in one of the arm chairs, and closed her eyes, hoping both the lethargy and sick feeling would soon pass.

Her mind winged back to 8 years previously, she remembered feeling the same way the last time, and didn't understand why it had taken so long to hit her this time, before recalling that last time it wasn't until she was walking down the hospital corridor that she'd felt the effects.

She kept her eyes closed and breathed deep until her stomach settled, she still felt dizzy and sluggish but a little stronger so got up, slipped on her robe, moisturised her skin, unpinned her hair and began to brush through the strands but had to stop when tiredness swept over her once again.

"I'm back babe." Clark called walking into the bedroom to find Lois sitting at her dressing table with her eyes closed and her brush sitting listlessly in her hand. "Are you ok Lo?"

"Yeah um…when my younger self first arrived here did she feel ok?"

"What's wrong?" He asked alarmed, rushing over to kneel in front of her. She leant forward and all but folded into his arms. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Nothing Clark, I just feel incredibly tired, I was having a shower and felt really shaky and sick and I remembered feeling that way when I left the hospital last time; so I just wondered how my younger self felt when she first arrived here."

Rising he walked to bed and holding her securely in one arm pulled back the blankets, before sitting down on the edge with her in his lap. Taking off her robe, he laid her down, took her ring out of his pocket, placed it on the bedside table then stood up and spun out of his clothes before lying down beside her. Leaning up on one elbow, he found her lying still with eyes closed. "Lo are you awake?" When she nodded, his hand smoothed her hair back then moved down to rub lazy circles on her tummy. "Young Lois said that when she first woke up she felt dizzy and had two lots of memories in her head, but said she went back to sleep and when she woke up the second time she felt fine. But she did have a longish nap the first afternoon and she also went to bed only a couple of hours after dinner, so she must have felt as tired as you do Lo."

Nodding again she smiled slightly and slipped into sleep. Gathering her close Clark closed his eyes hoping that everything was ok. Looking back he remembered 8 years ago Lois had been fine when they'd arrived at the hospital, but when she was leaving the Medical Centre she'd walked slowly and hesitantly down the corridor and Chloe had to take care of the paperwork while she sat down. They'd all been concerned at the way she walked so slowly and once in the car her eyes had closed as if exhausted, she'd also gone to bed early that night.

His hearing had automatically tuned to her heart and pulse when he stepped into the bedroom to find her sitting at the dressing table, but he couldn't hear anything to give him reason to become fearful. She was tired, just as she had been 8 years ago upon leaving the hospital, and 5 days ago when younger Lois first arrived, she'd be fine once she had a chance to rest.

It made sense, travelling through time had to take a lot of energy out of the body, even if the person wasn't consciously doing it. Lois hadn't been aware while her younger self was inhabiting her body, but she'd obviously still been affected by the experience.

Regardless of the reason he never liked seeing her so worn-out and lacklustre, Lois usually had more energy than any two people, she was hardly ever sick and he hoped that her nap would give her back the energy she'd clearly lost.

Pulling the blankets over them, he wrapped his arms around her, pressed his lips against her hair and slipped into sleep feeling for the first time in days contented and secure that they were both back where they belonged.

OoO

Lois woke up two hours later feeling rejuvenated, she no longer felt nauseas and her body felt stronger. Turning her head she looked at Clark's face on the pillow next to hers. He'd obviously been tired as well which wasn't surprising; if he had been missing and she didn't know if he was coming back, she would have been lucky to get any sleep at all. Superman or not, he still got tired when he over extended himself and the past few days couldn't have been easy.

Slipping quietly out of his arms, she pulled on her robe, padded into the kitchen, filled a glass with water, picked up the box of chocolates, tore off the cellophane, took off the lid and reached in for one of the Lindt milk chocolate balls. Leaning back against the sink she unwrapped it, popped it into her mouth and closed her eyes as the smooth chocolate filled her mouth. When the last of the chocolate was gone she sipped the water and opened her eyes to find Clark standing in the alcove watching her.

OoO

Clark woke up, found the opposite side of the bed empty and zeroing in on Lois' heartbeat relaxed. Using his x-ray vision he found her eating a chocolate ball and smiled. She was in the kitchen, everything was alright; she was here, she was just in the kitchen. He sat up, swung his legs over the side of the bed and decided to join her.

He stood at the alcove for a moment just enjoying the view of seeing his Lois before him once again.

Her eyes opened, looked him up and down, her tongue swiped out to lick her lips then she smiled "Forget to grab a robe?" Her eyebrow lifted in query "….or any clothes." She tacked on after a small pause.

"I'm hoping to entice you." He smiled in return walking forward to cage her in his arms by placing his hands either side of her on the sink before leaning forward to press his lips against her forehead "How are you feeling babe?"

"I'm fine; better." She replied running one hand up and down his arm.

He searched her eyes, and seeing that she wasn't trying to cover up, nodded then reached for a chocolate ball, unwrapped it, popped it into his mouth, and let the chocolate swirl over his tongue before leaning down to capture her lips with his. Sliding his tongue into her mouth, the flavour of the chocolate and her exploded on his senses _God it was good, he'd hadn't tasted anything so good since the last time they'd done this._

Her arms wrapped around his neck, his roamed over her back, while their tongues twined and rolled over each other, the chocolate smoothly transferring from her mouth to his and back again. She gave one last swipe of her tongue over the roof of his mouth then pulled back and smiled.

"I'm definitely feeling better, how about you?" She asked running one hand through his hair while the other sat on the back of his neck.

"I feel damn good and I know just the thing to make both of us feel ever better." He replied pulling her closer.

"Really and what would that be?" She questioned politely with lifted brow.

"A glass of warm milk, it will go nicely with the chocolate." Their joint chuckles rang through the room, scooping her up in his arms he walked back into the bedroom; tugged of her robe and lay down with her in his arms "Are you too tired Lo?" At her head shake he leant down and pressed his lips against hers. They exchanged gentle pecks which became longer and more languid kisses, their mouths moving against each others. When his tongue slipped into her mouth she caught it very gently with her teeth and sucked softly before letting it go to twine with hers. In counterpoint his lips, tongue and teeth began to play with her bottom lip, before his mouth glided against hers again.

Their mouths broke apart allowing them to breathe for a few moments, before coming together again to exchange deeper, fervent kisses. His hands kept busy sweeping down and up her body, hers stroked over his back. He rolled her under him then turned on his back with her on top, then onto their sides, before rolling back and tucking her underneath him again. Lifting his mouth from hers he looked down into her face "God baby, I love to feel you lying on top of me, beside me, under me; it doesn't matter as long as you're with me. I've missed you so much Lo."

"Well I'd say the same but I don't feel like I've been anywhere." She panted softly, but when he leant down to seal his lips to hers again, her hand on his chest stayed him "Do I get the warm milk now?" She questioned smoothing her hand over his chest.

"Later, right now you get something even better." He replied nuzzling her throat before locking his lips onto hers again.

One hand smoothed up and down her side while the other tangled in her hair, releasing her mouth his lips trailed down her throat, his tongue glided smoothly down the column, and his teeth grazed gently before very softly sinking in. Trailing his lips up to her ear, his fingers tugged on her hair tenderly and his teeth grasped the lobe allowing his lips to softly suck on it before letting go "I love you Lois." He whispered quietly.

"I love you." She said softly, hugging him tight and kissing his shoulder.

Tugging one of her arms loose, he caressed the wrist with his lips and lightly nibbled on it, enjoying the sensual purr she gave in response. Kneeling up his hands ran up her arms to her shoulders and down again before moving inward to settle over her breasts.

His palms brushed over and around her breasts, silky and smooth enjoying the sensation of the full rich globes before coming to a stop with his hands resting over her breasts, and the nipples sitting in the centre of his palms. Fanning out his fingers, he slowly dragged them inwards, very lightly and gently pinching the nipples when his fingers met, before opening his hands again. Lifting his head his eyes caught hers "Do you like that baby?" When she nodded he repeated the action several more times until the areola swelled and the nipples firmed.

Bending down he began to lick the outside of the areola of one breast, his tongue laved lightly over the tissue, his mouth sucked tenderly at the soft flesh but avoided the nipple itself. Her fingers slid through his hair, her nails raked gently and hearing her quiet moan his tongue swabbed gently over the nipple, before he blew a quick icy breath on it. Feeling her light shiver, watching as the nipple became more prominent, the veins in her breast more visible, he took the stiffened tip into his hot mouth and sucked gently, his hand tenderly rubbing over and around the neglected breast letting it know he'd shortly lavish it with the same attention.

The sensation of her breast in his mouth, her breast in his hand, her fingers in his hair holding him closer against her body, while small encouraging mewling sounds came from her mouth made him feel glorious.

His lips drifted down her torso, leaving soft nibbles and butterfly kisses on her waist, hip bones and tummy; his fingers continued to caress her breasts, tugging on the nipples tenderly before leaving the mounds reluctantly to glide downwards. One hand caressed her side while the other smoothed over her abdomen, across her quivering tummy and down until his fingers slid into the patch of curls on her mound, tangling and tugging lightly, his fingers delicately massaging, while his tongue stabbed softly into her belly button. Her legs slid open wider, her soft voice pleaded but his mouth and hands progressively slid down to her inner thighs, touching, stroking, nibbling and licking before reversing direction again.

His hand moved up to cup and squeeze her sex before his fingers began to softly delve into the folds; running over and around the tender flesh, dipping into the moisture, smoothing it all around and lightly grazing his thumb over the nub of her clitoris. He pushed one finger inside and twirled it softly teasing the inner walls, a second finger pushed in to join the first, twisting and plunging gently in and out of her warm wet passage before pressing down firmly on the swelling tissue inside. The moisture began to flow more quickly coating his fingers and withdrawing them to hold her carefully open, his mouth moved until it was directly over her centre.

His eyes probed the delicate pink lips, the red and swollen blood filled bud of her clitoris and smelling her arousal his mouth began to water. His tongue dragged lightly over the flesh from top to bottom, then swirled around the whole area, between the folds and over the creases, lapping up the liquid from her drenched sex, pausing for a heartbeat he looked up; Lois' eyes were shut tight, her breasts flushed and her face carried a look of rapture. Knowing he was the man who'd put it there he felt intense satisfaction and moving his mouth back, his tongue ran strongly up and down the folds before his teeth gently grasped the engorged bud allowing his lips to suck lightly while his tongue flicked over and around it.

Her fingers tangled in and tugged on his hair, her hips bucked, her cries of his name began as a whisper of quiet supplication and became a louder begging plea. Grasping her thighs to hold them firmly apart, his tongue turned into a sharp point, stroking up and down, moving fast and rhythmically over the whole area.

He slid one hand to the top of her mound and pressed down lightly while the fingers of his other hand held back the hood of the clitoris allowing no escape, allowing his tongue to continue tormenting the exposed jangled nerve endings, skimming and flicking repeatedly over the bud until she screamed and sobbed writhing around on the bed. Looking up he saw her head was whipping from side to side, her breasts heaving and knew he could wait no longer to be inside her.

Giving her no time to recover he moved, and with one swift hard thrust pushed deep until his penis was in her to the hilt, her legs locked tight around his hips. Levering up on his hands, he reared back until only the tip of his penis was inside her then plunged back in, her hands lifted and clung to the head board, his fingers clenched into the mattress, and flexing his hips he began to thrust and retreat pushing in harder and faster until he'd barely pulled out before thrusting inside again.

Feeling the gathering tension, he grasped her hips and began to drive harder and deeper into her. Her moan started out soft and grew until she wailed, her muscles squeezing and milking his penis, ignoring her sobs; he pulled her upright and against his chest "Hold on tight baby" her arms hooked under his, gripping his back, and holding fast to her hips he lifted her almost completely off him before bringing her back down to impale her onto his throbbing shaft, grinding his pelvis into hers then lifting her back to plunge her down onto his rigid penis again and again until she screamed and trembled biting hard into his neck before finally laying like a limp doll against him. Pushing her back down, she lay panting underneath him as he continued to thrust and retreat into her wet tight channel until he felt the coiling tightness snap and arching his back fully, he finally let go and emptied himself inside her before falling down gasping out her name.

They lay like that, utterly ruined, his penis still semi hard inside her for several moments until he heard her gasping for breath; rolling off, his body lay plastered against her side and reaching down he grasped her hand with his.

Once their hearts slowed down and breathing evened, he opened his eyes and pressed a kiss to her forehead smiling when she cuddled into him, her arm lazily thrown over his waist.

"I love you Lo."

"I love you." She replied leaning up to kiss him softly.

"Thank you for coming back Lo, for coming back to me." He said quietly, hugging her to his side.

"I'd say you're welcome, but I didn't do anything."

"Yes you did, by coming back you saved my life." He kissed her hair. "And thank you for giving me the chance to explain why I said what I did, I know that you were angry but you still listened."

"You didn't give me any choice if I recall, besides even though I was pissed as hell at you, and really wanted to smack you one, I hadn't given up on you." She smiled and kissed his throat before lifting her eyes back to his. "I know you Clark, and knew that you'd be crawling back within 24 hours, actually more like 12 asking me to take you back." She laughed lightly rubbing her cheek against his chest.

"You did huh?" He smiled, running his fingers up and down her arm.

"Mmm hmm; you're just lucky that I'm such a sweet natured person." Her head lifted at his snort, the frown on her face not amused. "What was that for; are you saying that I'm not?"

"Nu huh, you're my darling." He quickly assured her with a smile.

"Thanks, you're my fat headed alien." She vowed solemnly.

"I'm not your darling?" He asked wounded, trying not to laugh.

"No, but you can be my hunny bunny." She compromised grinning at his light chuckle before reaching over to press a kiss against his chin.

"I know what you said, but you wouldn't have gone to Oliver would you?" He asked doubtfully, never for one moment expecting her to say yes.

"No, I wouldn't do that to him, I know how he feels about me, and it would be cruel to play with his affections just to get back at you." She replied seriously, he nodded in agreement.

"Would you have taken me back?" He asked curiously.

"Yep, but I would have made you sweat first. I would have gone out with a few other men just to teach you a lesson then I would have made you really suck up before taking you back." She smiled devilishly.

"I've already told you what would have happened if you'd gone out with anyone else, and I can further guarantee that after I'd utterly ruined your dates, I would have seduced you every time you went out with someone, just to remind you that you love me and belong with me." He said seriously with no hint of laughter in his voice.

"That would have been totally unnecessary; I promise that if I'd slept with anyone else, I would have thought of you the whole time." She teased lightly.

"Don't Lo, don't tease me about that." He reproved quietly shaking his head. "I can't stand the thought of you with anyone else, of anyone else touching you. You're mine baby; don't ever tease me about that."

"I'm sorry." She said kissing his shoulder in contrition "Just think, you could have had what you always used to dream about; my younger self wanted you with Lana and was willing to change everything just so the two of you could be together forever." She rolled over on her tummy to look down at him, her lips twitching.

"God don't tease me about that either. Shit! I couldn't believe that she wanted to get rid of me so badly that she was willing to throw me at Lana." He said repressing a shudder.

"Hey at one time you would have thanked me, her." She laughed running her fingers lightly up and down his chest.

"As I told her, that was when I was a young idiot; I know who I love and need and it's not Lana, it never was." He replied with feeling, tugging her head down for a swift hard kiss.

He picked up her hand, reached over to the nightstand to retrieve the ring and slid it onto her finger. "Lois Lane, will you do me the very great honour of becoming my wife?" He asked in a voice full of sincerity.

"I don't know I've heard that marriage can kill the sex in a relationship." She pouted sadly. "And let's be frank, our sex life is fantastic, I don't wanna to lose it. Will you promise to always want me as badly as you do now?"

"Baby, as soon as we finish making love I want you again, I can't imagine that ever changing." He promised with a smile.

"You promise to still nail me in the shower, on the couch, against the wall, in the car, on the kitchen table and everywhere else we've done it, plus heaps of other places we haven't even tried yet?" She asked earnestly.

"I promise to screw your brains out every chance I get for the rest of our lives." He pledged solemnly his eyes alight with suppressed laughter.

"Oh Clark that is so romantic, of course I'll marry you." She bent down to kiss him softly then quickly lifted her head. "But just to be clear, we'll be screwing each other's brains out, agreed." At his nod, she placed her hand on his cheek and kissed him again.

Lifting her to lie on top of him, his hands swept up and down, exploring smooth warm skin while hers ran through his hair and over his arms.

Feeling his penis pulse and harden, he rolled them back over and began to stroke, caress and massage her erogenous zones with his lips, tongue and fingers, kissing her fingertips, nibbling on her wrist, licking and sucking on her earlobes. He'd found this was highly pleasurable for both of them, knowing he could give the woman he loved so much pleasure really did increase his own.

Lois however, had other ideas, firmly telling him it was her turn barely giving him time to nod before her teeth scraped over his chin and her tongue glided down the column of his throat. Her lips meandered back up, pressing kisses, occasionally stopping to suck gently, pushing his head back while she kissed and flicked her tongue on the underside of his jaw then trailed back down again. Gliding her tongue and lips along his collar bone, she reached back, grasped his hands and tugged gently, un-wrapping his arms from around her waist and placing them down on the bed.

Moving down slowly her lips ambled across his broad chest, stopping to kiss, lick and suck and her hands continued to follow suit. Her palms smoothed down his chest and up, her fingers padded soft as a whisper, to his sides and back again before returning to graze over, stroke and rub at his nipples, teasing the nubs until they hardened. Her tongue flicked out laving one nub, her teeth and lips toyed until her mouth enclosed the nipple and began to suck hard. The fingertips of one hand tweaked and rubbed over the neglected nipple while her free hand slid down to sit high on his inner thigh.

Kissing her way to the other nipple, her lips, tongue and teeth diligently subjected it to the same torment while her fingers moved ever inwards on his thigh, lightly brushing back and forth over his rigid throbbing penis.

His hands came up and lightly ran up and down her back and into her hair, her humming moans of delight; his groans and quiet grunts escalating each other's hunger.

Raking the short nails of her free hand over his chest her mouth leisurely moved down, stopping every now and again to suck and bite softly at his hip bones and tummy.

Sitting up on her heels she looked at Clark's face to find his eyes open wide, the pupils completely dilated "Want me to stop?" She teased softly, lifting her hands to run them over her breasts and seeing the fire in his eyes flare higher, his quick headshake she smiled wickedly. Her hand once again moved to sit high on his inner thigh, while the other ran down his chest, scratching softly. Bending down her lips resumed dropping fleeting kisses along his tummy, from this belly button to the iron hard shaft her breasts had teasingly brushed against.

Kneeling between his legs she shook her hair forward to tease the base of his stomach while her tongue began to lick from the base of his penis to the head once, twice before she closed her mouth around him, sucking lightly and tickling the shaft with her tongue. Moving her mouth up and down, she allowed his penis to withdraw slowly from the warm cavern of her mouth, while sucking and pressing with her lips and tongue all along the shaft.

His grunts and pleas grew in volume; his hips began to push up, his fingers tangled in her hair holding her closer against him, as his legs rose up either side of her head. Sliding her mouth slowly up and down, she sucked gently swirling her tongue into the slit at the top, before taking him into her mouth again.

When his groans became more urgent, she grasped his stiffened penis gently, held it steady and began to suck vigorously at the head; while the fingers of her other hand fondled and softly massaged his testicles. When his hips began to buck and jerk harder, she lifted her head and began to slide her hand up and down rapidly; her eyes lifted to his face to see his head pressed down hard into the pillow.

Feeling her tongue swirling over his penis, her teeth gently scraping, her warm mouth enclosing him, all while her hand gently cupped and massaged him felt divine; when her hand began to slide up and down he couldn't take any more, and desperately wanted to be inside her when he came "God baby please."

When he felt her straddle his legs, his glazed eyes opened to watch as she slid down onto him. He let her set the pace, to control the depth and tempo, to take whatever she wanted and kept his eyes open and watched her. Feeling her inner walls release and contract as she rocked against him; knowing that it was HIM that she wanted, HIM that she loved and had loved so beautifully made him incredibly deliriously happy.

Watching her full rich breasts swaying with her movements, he left one hand on her hip in support while the other ran up and down, across and over her torso, before his palm settled warmly over one globe "You're so beautiful babe." He panted softly.

She opened her eyes, smiled, leant down and kissed him, her arms either side of his head, his arms wrapped around her. They stayed like that for several minutes lightly rocking, savouring each other, exchanging deep kisses, only pausing long enough to change the angle of their mouths. When she began pull away, he gently grasped her hair at the nape of her neck and pulled her back for another deep kiss.

When she rose up again and began to move, she teasingly drew the moment out for as long as possible, going fast then slow, bringing him to the brink again and again until he'd been almost crazy before she allowed both of them to fall over the edge. When she slid down boneless on top of him; he kissed her hair and rubbed her back, giving them both time to settle "God I've missed you, missed this…us." He murmured quietly against her neck, cuddling her against his chest.

"Has Clark Jr been a little lonely?"

"Clark Jr's been a lot lonely and so have I." He rolled her under him and locked his eyes on hers "I've told you before that you're my world Lo; but over the last few days I found that I was speaking no less than the truth. You're everything to me baby, _**everything**_ I just can't function without you."

"I feel the same way." She replied softly lifting her hand to cup his cheek "I imagine it wasn't easy for you dealing with my younger self. Back then I wouldn't have understood how I could fall in love you; much less believe that you could become everything to me, but you are Clark. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything and I always will." Her eyes were solemn, no hint of laughter in their depths, leaning up she kissed his throat and ran her hand over his back.

"I kept holding onto your promise that you wouldn't leave me, but if you hadn't come back I was going to find you and bring you home. I didn't care what it took, what I had to do, but I couldn't let you go baby, I can't ever let you go." He said softly, his palm sat on the side of her cheek while his thumb softly brushed over her lips.

"Good! Because if you had; I would have been really pissed off with you." She vowed. Leaning down he pressed a hard kiss to her lips, then turned to lie at her side and reaching down clasped her hand in his once again.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37**

Lana looked at the clock, and noting that it was almost 2pm realised that she was hungry but the thought of eating made her feel sick. She didn't want to eat, she didn't want to do anything, but the one thing she didn't want to do most, was call the Kent Farm pretending to care whether Joanne had returned as scheduled or not. However, if she didn't call everyone would be curious why, and knowing that she could delay no longer she picked up the receiver before hastily putting it back down again.

Closing her eyes she hoped and prayed that Clark answered the phone, if he did, then at least she could comfort herself with the knowledge that he hadn't missed Lois so much that he wanted to be alone with her. Picking up the receiver with a shaky hand, she dialled and waited, when Chloe answered the happiness in her voice was unmistakeable.

She apologised for not calling earlier, citing sleeping off her illness as an excuse, and taking a deep breath asked if everything was ok, remaining silent while Chloe ran through the anxiety everyone had felt both the previous night and earlier in the morning when Lois hadn't returned. Giving a dramatic pause Chloe finally declared Lois' triumphant return, and in turn Lana pretended to be overjoyed at hearing the news.

When she asked if she could speak to Lois to welcome her back, Chloe chortled and informed her that Lois wasn't available to anyone but Clark; explaining that he'd all but thrown Lois over his shoulder and rushed back to their apartment to be alone. Knowing that what she'd dreaded had indeed happened; was happening right now the tears began to silently stream down her face.

Holding a hand against her stomach she clenched her teeth hard, she had to get off the phone, her mouth uttered the lies of how happy she was and began to say goodbye, but before she could hang up Martha took the receiver and insisted that she join them for a celebratory dinner and wouldn't take no for an answer. She finally gave in just to get off the phone, promising to be at the farm by 7pm and all but threw the receiver down before running to bend over the kitchen sink.

As she hadn't eaten there was nothing to come out, but her stomach which was still sore from the previous night, insisted on heaving and contracting. Gagging on the bitter taste of bile that climbed up her throat and filled her mouth, she spit and spat until finally her muscles stopped and she could lay her face down on the side of the sink. Once she felt steady enough, she walked over to the kitchen table, collapsed into a chair and sobbed bitterly for all that had been taken from her, and all that she had given up.

Clark was with Lois, touching her, having sex with her and the thought of what they were doing, bit down so hard on her heart that her palm rose in automatic defence to massage away the pain.

He wouldn't be with her if she hadn't brought Lois back, flinching from the pictures her mind's eye insisted on dredging up of Clark and Lois together, she closed her eyes and pressed her fingers hard against the lids, then stood and stumblingly made her way upstairs to climb into bed and pull the covers up to her chin.

Here, while she was _**here**_ in her bed, in her sanctuary she could dream of Clark, he was with her and everything was right with the world. He loved her, he whispered his love to her, and drifting back to sleep she dreamed of her and Clark making love again and again and again.

OoO

"Clark."

"Hmm."

"I'm hungry."

"Is that a hint for me to go out and buy lunch?" He asked amused looking down at her innocently smiling face.

"Uh huh."

"What'd you feel like?"

"I don't care." She replied shrugging then quickly shook her head. "No I do care, I want Chinese."

"Anything else?"

"Yeah, cheesecake."

He nodded, got up, had a quick shower, dressed and was back in the room before she'd managed to climb out of bed "Um babe?'

"Hmm."

"I forgot my wallet."

"My purse is on the kitchen table." Nodding he left and was back in time to find her stepping out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

Placing the food on the little table in the bedroom, he moved one of the chairs so they'd be sitting side by side rather than opposite and turned back in time to see her reaching for her robe.

"Hang on Lo." Her hand paused, and a moment later she found him standing in front of her holding out his shirt. "Wear this."

She looked into his eyes, smiled and shrugging into the shirt, sat down to dry her hair while he collected plates and cutlery from the kitchen.

They ate in silence, enjoying the food and the sense of peace and familiarity being together brought. As Lois scooped up the last mouthful of cheesecake, Clark grabbed the wine glasses, placed them on the bedside table, fluffed and arranged the pillows, spun out of his clothes remaining only in his briefs and was back in time to watch Lois place her empty plate on the table. Scooping her up he dashed back to the bed, and floated until he was sitting comfortably against the nest of pillows, with Lois cradled between his legs, her back resting against this chest and his arms wrapped around her waist.

Placing her empty plate on the table, Lois felt a cool wind while reaching for her wine glass and found her hand meeting air as she was lifted up, before she knew it she found herself sitting on the bed cuddled back against Clark's chest. "Um ok." She turned her head and laughed quietly at the unrepentant curve of his lips. "Can I have some wine?" She asked politely, her lips twitching.

He reached over, picked up the glass and sipped before holding the glass to her lips. "Sorry Lo."

"Sorry for what?"

"Rushing you back into bed." He replied putting the glass back on the bedside table and wrapping his arms around her waist again.

"Well you did promise." She smiled but quickly sobered at the heavy cast to his face.

His eyes squeezed shut then opened full of remorse and locked onto hers "I have to tell you something and I want to hold you while I do it."

"Tell me what?" He looked nervous and she knew that whatever he was going to say wasn't going to be easy for him.

"I know that you're going to be hurt and angry and I don't blame you, but please just hear me out ok?" At her nod, he squeezed his eyes shut again before resolutely opening them and fixing his eyes on the wall over her shoulder he opened his mouth and began.

He told her everything, how he'd been glad when he was younger that it wasn't Lana who'd been unconscious in the Medical Centre, he confessed to begging Lana to take him back, using their time of trying to find out what was wrong with her to do it, and finished by explaining the few times he'd had premonitions of something being wrong but thinking only of Lana, not her in the hospital.

His voice had been subdued throughout and after he finished, he buried his face in the back of her neck and held her tight. He hadn't been able to look at her while talking, he couldn't bear to see the condemnation in her eyes, and was scared of what he'd hear when she finally did speak.

His voice came out soft and sincere "I'm sorry Lo, god baby I'm so sorry, I was a selfish prick but …" His voice trailed of when he heard the snort, lifting his face he looked up and found her grinning and shaking her head.

"Hon, unfortunately when you were a kid you were an idiot, am I surprised, no, but you can't change it, you can't undo it, it's in the past and you need to leave it there." She smiled patting his arm and kissing his chin.

"I was a selfish bastard Lo."

She nodded in agreement. "You were very selfish when it came to Lana, but you're not that way anymore, you've moved on from the boy you used to be."

"I know but…"

Shaking her head she cut him off. "No Clark, no buts, you've accepted the mistakes you made when you were younger, and you also admit when you screw up now, if you didn't, I couldn't be with you." At his nod she smiled. "I _**can**_ respect someone who screws up and admits when they're wrong, but I can't respect anyone who continually blames others for their mistakes."

Turning to face him fully she cupped his face in her hands "You've told me about stuff that I didn't know years ago, the mistakes you made. I can't give you words of comfort and tell you that it wasn't your fault; but I can tell you that you must **never** let past mistakes dictate your life. I love the man you are now Clark, but I couldn't love you if you were still like Skipper." She looked into his eyes to let him see the truth "Skipper was usually a good guy, but his biggest fault was that he didn't think he had any faults except when it came to Lana. When it came to her he was happy to beat himself up for things that were outside of his control or whatever she dumped on him, but in most other respects Skipper pretty much always thought his actions were just and correct. He thought being an alien was the huge lie he was living, but it wasn't. The biggest deception he lived, was believing that he was usually without blame while his screw ups were someone else's fault."

He nodded, kissed her gently and hugged her tight. "I was so scared that you were going to hate me, leave me."

"Clark, if I left you for all the dumb things you did when you were a kid, either for or because of Lana, we wouldn't have gotten past our first date." He smiled in rueful amusement brushing his lips against her temple, grateful that Lois wasn't the kind of woman who held grudges, clinging to hurt feelings from actions of years past.

Turning around she leant back against his chest, and let her head rest against his shoulder. He leant down and kissed her neck, his hands smoothing up her arms and down again, one of her arms lifted, her hand cupped the back of his neck, her face tilted upward, their eyes locked, his head bent, hers lifted and eyes fluttered closed as their mouths met in a soft kiss that soon became heated.

OoO

They returned to the farm at 6 o'clock and as promised both Chloe and Martha stayed silent not interrupting once when Lois lectured them about backing Clark up when he did stupid things. She had no sooner finished then both ladies threw their arms around her, hugged tight and over coffee filled her in on everything, leaving nothing out.

"I died?" Lois asked quietly her fingers which had been running up and down Clark's thigh, stopped and clenched into the muscle of his leg. Feeling her tension, he placed one hand over hers and rubbed her back lightly with the other.

"Yeah, god Lo, it was really scary." Chloe said mistily. "We were so glad that you came back, but I don't ever want to go through that again."

Martha reached over and gripped Lois' hand. "We're so glad you're ok sweetie."

"Thanks, at least we now kinda know what happened all those years ago. As you mentioned before we don't know who did this or why, but at least we now know that 8 years ago, I wasn't just unconscious somewhere." Lois said lightly attempting to soothe the strain on everyone's face.

"We're not going to let it go, someone did this and we're going to find out whom." Chloe vowed.

"Yeah, but there's nothing we can do is there, I mean I'm alright, so it's not like they can be prosecuted or anything, who'd believe it anyway?" Lois asked doubtfully.

"No one, but at least if we know then Superman can let whoever's responsible know that he knows, so they don't try it again." Chloe said quietly and seeing the resolution on the faces around her Lois smiled gratefully.

"Thanks, even though I've tried not to think about what happened 8 years ago, it has been on my mind occasionally. Wondering if or when it was going to happen again, questioning if I was going to fall asleep one night and just never wake up." She shrugged and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Martha asked concerned before anyone else could speak.

"There wasn't any point, we didn't know what happened last time, and it never happened again, so I saw no reason to worry any of you, but there were times I was scared."

"Lo, I want to know when you're scared or worried, I need to know, don't hide it from me, ok?" Clark was disturbed that Lois had been scared of the same thing happening again, and he'd never known. When she nodded, he pressed a quick kiss to her temple.

"We were really glad when young Lois..."

"Call her Jo." Lois cut in and at the amused smiles, shrugged "She's not getting Joanne, that was my name and it'll be too confusing calling her Joanne now. Saying young Lois is too much of a mouthful and she's not getting Lois because I'm taking my name back."

"Why Jo?" Clark asked grinning and winked at the ladies.

"Well she's younger, so she can have the shortened name of Jo." Lois nodded stubbornly.

Clearing her throat Chloe nodded. "When Jo said that she wasn't going to interfere in your relationship with Clark, we were all relieved that that was one problem we no longer had to worry about."

Seeing the relieved smiles on all faces as they nodded, Lois nodded in return, pursed her lips and burst their bubble. "You believed her?" She asked gently.

"Yeah, why, she sounded really sincere, do you think she was lying?" Clark asked quickly, sharing a concerned look with his mom and Chloe.

"Clark she was me." Lois reminded him "I think she was lying unknowingly." She said gently and found three crest fallen faces staring back at her.

"What'd you mean?"

Blowing out a breath she explained "She tried to find a way to keep her memories but couldn't right?" At their nods "Ok, well if by some quirk of fate she did remember her time here, then yes I think she would have gone back and changed things."

"Even after saying she wouldn't?" Chloe frowned in consternation.

"She said she wouldn't when she was here, when she was seeing a Clark that had grown up and changed, but when she went back she would have been confronted once again by Skipper." At their frowns; "once she was faced with the reality of Skipper; brooding, whining and crying out for Lana on a daily basis, Clark here would have been forgotten quickly. Five days wouldn't have been long enough for her to reconcile the man he would be; to the boy she was encountering every day." Lois finished, trying to let them all down gently.

"If she remembered, she would have tried to change our lives." Clark stated flatly.

"I think she would have tried to change her/my life." Lois shook her head and corrected. "Jo may or may not have tried to get you back with Lana, but I do think that when she left Smallville to travel, you wouldn't have seen her again. She wouldn't have come back; she never would have taken the chance of ending up with you." Lois patted his leg consolingly "Sorry Clark, but you and Lana were pretty bad before she was with Lex, but after they were engaged and the short time I was still here after they were married was when the two of you were at your most unbearable."

He nodded in agreement and noticed the others were nodding too "You didn't remember anything though, did you Lo?" He asked grabbing her hand in panic.

"I never have, but now that we're talking about it I do remember something you said to me when I was here as Jo." She frowned and scratched her brow trying to bring the memory clear.

"You do?" Three voices asked in unison, surprise and curiosity showing on everyone's face.

"Yeah, you mentioned that you told Jo a bit about our relationship right?" At his nod, she smiled "I think it was something you said that made me realise I didn't need to run a mile to get away from you, but I just forgot it until now." She replied, coughing lightly to ease the constriction in her throat.

"What'd you remember Lo?" He asked, glad that she hadn't run away after knowing that she was going to marry him.

Turning to face Clark fully, her eyes solemn she held his hand and pressed it, waited a beat then quietly and sincerely replied. "I remember you saying that when we got married; in your vows you wanted to promise to obey me." She chuckled and laughed harder when Chloe and Martha joined in.

"Brat!" He pinched her side lightly, rubbed away the nonexistent hurt and joined in the laughter.

When the laughter died down he looked at his mom and Chloe and sighed. "I know we have a lot to talk about, including our memory being altered and Lo returning later than expected but can we do it after the engagement party?" They nodded and smiled. "Thank you, I just want to enjoy the next few days, but I promise we will talk about it, ok?" They all agreed and he smiled in appreciation.

"Now changing the subject, I was thinking it seems unfair that the two of you are doing so much cooking and I haven't done any, so how about I make something for the party as well." Lois asked but never got a reply as all eyes swung to the door at the light knock and three people breathed out sighs of relief at the interruption.

"Lois, it's good to have you back, I rang this morning and Chloe told me that you'd returned." Lana said cheerfully coming into the house and joining everyone at the table.

"Thanks Lana." Lois replied and smiled politely. She felt uneasy around Lana and didn't know why. It wasn't because Lana was in love with Clark, it wasn't because she knew that Lana didn't like her, neither of those disturbed her but there was something. She tried to hold onto an elusive memory of why she didn't trust the other woman, but it slipped away and shrugging internally she decided to let it go for the present.

"I was just saying that I should make something for the party but don't know what, any ideas?" She asked Lana, bringing her into the conversation.

Lana smiled. "Umm well you could make a cake, or pie something like that. I'm cooking too, so all of us girls can all help each other out."

"Hmm, Clark what do I make that you like best?" Lois turned and posed the question to him.

"I…well, you know Lo, this party is for us and I just want you to enjoy it, to take it easy. Besides until today we haven't spent any time together since coming here, so I want you to myself, not cooking when we have mom, Chloe and Lana already doing it." He replied tactfully, keeping his eyes firmly away from the other women knowing they were smirking at him.

"But…ok, I can't argue with that." She smiled in return. "Well we don't have to go shopping because that's already done, but I still have to find something to wear."

"Actually Lo, Jo bought a dress for the party."

"Really, well she's me so she's bound to have good taste, I'd better go check it out and find out if I need to buy accessories or already have some that match." Tugging her hand free, she slid out of the seat and retreated upstairs.

"God that was close."

"You saved us all honey, thank you." Martha replied so fervently that everyone chuckled.

"Who's Jo?" Lana queried, nodding and smiling when brought up to date.

"Well the dress is great and she also bought earrings but I need shoes, Clark you'll have to take me to Metropolis tomorrow ok, I know just the shop to find what I want." Lois retook her seat and gave him a knowing smile when she saw the heat in his eyes flare up at the mention of shoes.

Leaving the women to talk he pulled out his phone, walked outside and called Oliver.

"Hey Ollie, I know Chloe called you but I wanted to call you myself, let you know that everything's fine and to thank you for all your help."

"You're more than welcome; I'm just sorry we didn't find the bastard who did this."

"I know, we're not going to give up but now that it's over I don't know if the chances are good at finding anything."

"The chances are slim but we've had worse odds before and come out on top." Oliver paused and continued fiercely. "Someone knows something Clark, and one day they'll let it slip and we'll be waiting." He promised.

"Thanks."

"How is she?"

"She's good, she wasn't aware of anything happening, she doesn't even remember dying thank god, but it's not something I'm going to forget in a hurry." Clark replied pacing the porch.

"No I don't suppose it is, take care of her Clark and I'll see you both on Saturday night ok?"

"Yeah."

"Clark!" Oliver called before hanging up. "Give me a call if you need anything, alright?"

"I will, thanks Ollie, bye." He hung up the phone and tucked it back into his pocket, letting his hands rest against the porch rail.

"Clark are you ok?" Lana asked stepping outside and leaning against the porch rail beside him.

"I'm good Lana, hell I'm great." He smiled and nodded. "Lo's back and I feel…god I feel ….." His voice trailed off and he shrugged. "I can't put into words how relieved I am."

"Well you certainly look more carefree than I've see you lately."

"I feel more carefree than I have in six days." He laughed in relief then cocked his head when Lois called his name impatiently. "And there's my sweet angel calling me now." He grinned, ushering Lana ahead of him back into the kitchen.

"Did you call me Lo?" He asked upon entering the house.

"Yeah, we want dinner."

"Ok, what does everyone feel like?" He looked around the room encountering shrugs from everyone and rolled his eyes. "Ok, how about pizza?"

"Nope." Lois shot down before the words had barely passed his lips.

"Chicken."

"Nope." She shook her head.

"Chinese."

"Nope." She rolled her eyes and waved her hand for further suggestions.

"I'm outta suggestions and since you keep saying nope, you come up with something." He took a seat at the table, enjoying the exchange with his beloved.

"Mexican."

"Nope." He replied shooting her down.

"Indian."

"Nope." He shook his head ignoring the sniggers from his mom and Chloe.

"Pasta."

"Nope." He quipped, moving out range when her hand swept out to hit him.

She turned to face their quiet but fascinated audience. "Any suggestions?"

"Nope." Chloe and Martha replied promptly bursting into laughter.

Narrowing her eyes she turned back to Clark. "I wanna be fed!"

"Yes dear but what do you feel like?"

"Cake."

"That's desert."

"Ice cream."

"Desert." He sung back.

"Oh hell we're gonna be here all night, and I'm hungry." She whined dropping her head on the table.

"How about I fly over to Texas and get us all barbequed steaks with jacket potatoes and all the trimmings." The women all nodded pleased at his suggestion but it was Lois' response he enjoyed the most. Her head lifted, her eyes glazed and became greedy then she smiled.

"Yeah." She licked her lips and all but pulled him out of his seat. "Go and please god, don't let any emergencies crop up." She pulled and pushed him towards the door, then stopped grabbed a bag and thrust it into his hands. "Here, you'll need something to carry it in."

Nodding and laughing he left and returned shortly thereafter with their dinner.

OoO

The moon slanted through the partially open blinds and onto the occupants of the bed, lying curled around Lois, Clark hugged her back against his chest. "Lo why didn't you tell me you were scared of the same thing happening again?"

She turned around to face him. "There wasn't any point, it wasn't something that I thought about a lot, just every once in a while I'd go to bed and wonder if I'd wake up the next morning."

"I wish you'd told me babe."

"I didn't dwell on it Clark and I didn't want to worry you for no reason." She shrugged and finished simply. "We never found out what caused it in the first place, and nothing actually happened, I was fine afterwards."

"You damn well died." He replied fiercely hugging her close.

"I know that now but I didn't know it then." She whispered against his ear, running her hands soothingly over his back.

"I won't let anyone take you from me Lo." His hands smoothed down her back to her bottom, rubbing over the globes softly before one hand slid down and grasped her leg, gently pulling until her thigh was resting high on his hip. Once in place his hand patted her thigh then smoothed over to her bottom and under, his fingers lightly stroking over and in between the folds of her sex.

"Clark, not here, your mom." Lois protested quietly, trying to move her leg of his, but his arm that was trapped between her body and the mattress pulled out super-fast, and his hand gently but firmly held her leg in place.

"Shhh, we're not going to make love, I just…." He trailed off and kissed her forehead, continuing to swirl his fingers over and around her softness before nudging her onto her back and sitting up. But when his hand slid over her tummy and down, Lois quickly closed her legs "Stop Clark, please." Her hand reached out to grab his but he captured it in his free one and raising their joint hands, he pressed a kiss against the back of her hand but didn't let go.

His other hand rested quietly on the curls of her mound; leaning down he spoke softly in her ear "It's ok Lo, it's ok, I just need to get you wet sweetheart, I promise we're not going to make love; you know that I'd never force you, please baby trust me; open your legs."

Knowing that she could trust him, her legs slid open; their eyes locked as his fingers moved down grazing and teasing; dipping a finger lightly in her entrance, he coaxed until the moisture flowed faster and began to seep over his fingers.

Tenderly and insistently his fingers ran over the flesh, spreading the moisture all around and once done to his satisfaction, he moved to lie in the cradle of her thighs, his penis nudging at her soft folds but not entering. He bent down and pressed a soft kiss against her jaw before his head lifted to catch her eyes with his again "I want to fall asleep buried inside you tonight; I want to feel you surrounding me as I slip into sleep. I'm sorry Lo I didn't mean to scare you before, I just...I didn't want to hurt you by entering when you were dry and I wasn't sure that if you said yes, if I'd be able to wait to get you ready first."

Her hand lifted to cup his jaw "You didn't scare me, you were just more …. determined than usual. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know, I just…" He shrugged and shook his head "I want to be inside you Lo, god I need to be." His forehead dropped lightly onto hers their eyes still locked "These last few days I didn't know when or if I'd ever be with you again, please."

Knowing how scared she felt when he disappeared of the radar, she understood and nodded her consent breathing out quietly "Yes."

Grasping her bottom, he kept his eyes on hers as he gently pushed until his penis was sitting nice and warm inside her snug passage then smoothing her hair back framed her face in his hands and kissed her, unaware of the tears seeping down his face until she lifted her hand and wiped them away.

"Clark?"

He shook his head silently but couldn't answer.

"Honey what's wrong?" Lois repeated holding him tight, running her hands over his neck trying to soothe.

"I was so scared Lo, so scared when you died and I thought I'd lost you forever, scared when you didn't come back on time, scared that I'd never hold you, talk to you, love you again." He grasped her bottom and pushed deeper and more firmly into her.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere ok?" She said softly, her hands continued to caress the back of his neck and shoulders until he calmed. "Clark." His head lifted and his eyes met hers "You're not a selfish lover hon, you never have been, I know you would have waited for me to be ready." At his doubtful look "Clark, sometimes you go out of your way to make sure that I'm ready, by which time I'm ready to scream 'hallelujah', you couldn't be selfish in bed, no matter how desperate you feel."

Smiling in gratitude for her faith in him he kissed her softly and moving his arms to clasp around her waist he rolled onto his back, and settled her comfortably on top, his heart at peace knowing she was alive and with him.

"Are you comfortable babe, do you want me to move us to our sides?" His hands stroked up her back, crushing her gently closer.

She shook her head and kissed his chin "I'm fine, I like lying on top of you." Moving her mouth to his ear she whispered "I love feeling you inside me."

"I love being inside you, as long as you're in my arms I don't want for anything else." He rubbed his cheek softly against hers "Lo."

"Hmm?"

"You didn't remember anything when you woke up in the Medical Centre did you?"

"No, I didn't remember a thing; at the time it scared the hell out of me; not knowing how or why it happened, not having any dreams just a blank nothing, but now I'm grateful."

"So am I Lo, so am I." He paused then added quietly "But you were wrong, you know?"

Her head shifted on his shoulder to look at him "About what?"

"It wouldn't have made any difference if you left Smallville and never came back, one day I would have found you again, whether by accident or design, but I would have found you." He nodded at the dubious look on her face, before continuing "And then I would have stuck to you like glue intent on making you mine. Don't ever doubt it babe, I would have found you."

"Are you talking about that destiny crap?" Her brow lifted in query, her voice cynical.

"Yep, destiny, fate, providence call it what you like, but I would have found you again and your days as a single woman would have been numbered." One side of his mouth curved, he knew how she felt about that stuff, but he knew that what he'd said was true.

"You were back for 18 months before we started going out Clark, I was still single for a long time after you came back." She shook her head in gentle mockery.

"Yeah, I suppose you were." At her nod, he smoothed his finger over her brow and smiled "In your mind you were single; but as I've told you before, in mine you were very much taken." She smacked him lightly on the chest but his grin was unrepentant.

"You know it was on a night just like this, with the moon slanting into the room and onto your face when I looked and finally realised that I loved you." She lifted up and cupped his cheek in her hand.

"You should have woken me up and told me, I guarantee that I would have been happy to hear it."

"I couldn't, I looked at you and knew and then I got scared."

Love was scary so he understood but couldn't keep from asking. "Why?" His fingers toyed with the pendant swinging between her breasts. She'd been pissed off when he clasped it around her neck despite her protests. She'd tried arguing but seeing the inflexible look in his eyes had finally shrugged and left it on. This was something that he wouldn't give into her on, and she knew it.

"Because I knew that what I felt for you was unlike anything I'd ever experienced before." She paused and continued softly. "It wasn't just infatuation or lust, or even attraction, this time…this time it was all that and more. This time it was love and I was scared because I knew that my heart would never be whole again if I ever lost you, if you left me."

"You could never have lost me Lo and nothing could make me leave you." He vowed quietly, holding her eyes fast with his.

"I know that now, but that night I had to believe it in my heart. I'd had a number of boyfriends before you; ones who'd pursued me then turned and walked away once they caught me, ones that I liked but walked away from." She took a deep breath. "I knew that I could never walk away from you, but I was scared that you'd realise you wanted out and leave me."

"Never! Those men were idiots Lo, you would never ever stay with a moron, that's why they left; they walked away before you could."

"They weren't Clark, they just realised that I wasn't what they wanted." She shook her head smiling at his almost fierce defence of her.

"They were idiots." He replied flatly. "And I thank god for each and every one of them being that way."

Her hand smoothed over his shoulder, her eyes smiled into his. "Anyway that's why I didn't tell you until the next night. I had to accept it myself first, I believed that you loved me, but I had to trust that you wouldn't leave."

Nodding his understanding his hands stroked over her back. "I could never leave you Lo, hell baby I don't just love you, I flat out adore you." His hand tugged her head down; their lips met and exchanged a series of fleeting closed mouth kisses before her head rested to lie on his shoulder.

"Just think, right now back there you and Chloe are asleep here in my bed but the tables are turned Ms Lane, I've got you in my clutches now and there's no escape for you." He teased injecting a lighter note and looked down to smile at her.

"Right now back there you're probably thinking of Lana and dreaming about getting _her_ back in your clutches." She taunted back softly.

"You talk too much woman." He shot back disapprovingly "Go to sleep."

She laughed lightly, kissed the side of his neck and was soon asleep; he forced himself to stay awake as long as he could, looking at the sleeping beauty locked in his arms, until sleep finally claimed him as well.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38**

The engagement party went off without a hitch; the flowers were beautiful, the food plentiful, the waiters and servers professional and friendly, the music lovely. Clark couldn't stop smiling. Watching Lois as she talked with friends on the other side of the marquee, he determined it was time to enjoy a dance with his fiancé and sweeping her into his arms carried her off to the dance floor.

"You look beautiful Lo."

"Thanks, you already told me that, but a woman can never hear it enough." She laughed lightly.

Keeping her locked in his arms they swayed to the music, while he steered them smoothly to the flap and outside. Bending down he kissed her softly, running his hands up and down her back before lifting them to frame her face as the kiss intensified. Lifting his head his eyes opened and locked onto hers. "I love you baby."

"I love you." She replied softly running her hand through his hair and tugging his mouth back to hers.

When they returned back inside Lois looked flushed and happy, Clark satisfied and proud, neither missing the knowing looks in people's faces.

"Mind if I steal your fiancé for a dance Clark?" Oliver stepped forward and smiled.

"Sure Ollie." Clark reluctantly handed her over and smiled at the two of them. He didn't feel a speck of jealousy, they all knew how Oliver felt but they also knew that he respected their love and Clark couldn't be happier knowing that he had such wonderful friends.

OoO

"You look beautiful Lois." Oliver said gallantly.

"Why thank you, kind sir." Lois simpered in reply, causing them both to break out in big grins.

"When Clark told me what happened and asked for the JLA's help I was shocked as hell, I'm glad that you're back, he would have been lost without you, y'know." Oliver confided.

"I'd be the same without him." She returned quietly.

"I know." He nodded in reply. "Lois, you know how I feel and I'm not going to embarrass either of us by declaring anything, but I want to thank you. You've never made me feel uncomfortable by referring to my feelings, nor have you tried to avoid me and I appreciate it." He said sincerely.

"I'd never do that Ollie, as far as I'm concerned it's flattering as hell to have such a wonderful man as you care about me like you do." She smiled softly. "But you're not meant to be alone Ollie, not a man like you, you're an amazing person with a lot of love to give. One day you'll meet someone and realise that you haven't even scratched the surface of love yet." She replied sincerely.

"Can I get that in writing?" He asked with a slight smile.

"Baby, I guarantee it." She smiled back big and wide, he smiled in return and they both laughed while he twirled her around the dance floor.

OoO

"Clark." Upon hearing his name he turned and saw Lana.

"Hi Lana, are you enjoying yourself?" He smilingly asked.

"Yes, it's a beautiful engagement party." She said softly, at his nod she grasped his hand in hers. "Would you like to dance?"

"Sure, Lois is dancing with her Ollie, so it makes sense that I dance with you at the same time, kind of like we've all come full circle, huh?" He said with a quirk of his lips.

They moved onto the dance floor, feeling Clark's arms around her Lana closed her eyes and willed the tears away. She'd have him back soon, but for now had to be content just to be held in his arms. "Remember this?" She looked up and smiled.

"What?" Clark asked cocking his head in confusion.

"This song, it was the one that was playing when we danced at the prom." She reminded him.

"Oh, sorry Lana, I forgot?" He shrugged apologetically.

"That's ok, it's just funny that the last time we danced to this, things were so different." She said quietly.

"Yeah that was a long time ago, hell it feels like another lifetime now." He laughed in reply.

"True, who knew then that you'd end up with Lois?"

"Well I never did, but that's the great thing about life, all the different twists and turns it can take." He said looking over and smiling at Lois and Oliver laughing together.

"Yeah" Sensing that she'd lost his attention, her eyes followed his and found him watching Lois and her heart clenched in her breast.

The rest of the dance passed silently until it was over and he thanked her before walking away to once again be with Lois.

Moving through the guests, Lois and Clark enjoyed conversation and dancing with friends and relatives, the party was informal so people felt free to move from table to table talking with each other, everyone enjoying themselves in the joyous atmosphere. Swept onto the dance floor by her dad, Lois looked over and saw Martha leading Clark onto the floor and smiled at her father.

"You look beautiful Lo, he's a good man and I'm happy that my little girl has found someone who loves her as she deserves to be loved." Her dad said quietly.

"Thanks daddy, who knew that I'd end up with Clark?" Lois laughed.

"Well I didn't but those are the best relationships, the ones that aren't built on dreams but reality; your mom and I were like that." Her father confided and enjoyed the look of curiosity on his daughters face.

"Really?"

"Mmm hmm, we couldn't stand each other when we met, then I fell in love with her and allowed her to catch me, enjoying every moment of her chase." He grinned and nodded in confirmation, when Lois' brow flew up.

"I always thought you and mom met and fell in love straight away."

"Nope, she thought I was a stubborn army hardass; I thought she was a way too soft liberal, we argued from the moment we met; didn't stop me from chasing away any men interested in her though." He laughed quietly. "That just annoyed her no end, she told me to stop scaring men off and when I did, she told me off for not poking my nose in." He snorted and shook his head. "Of course when I realised I loved her, I decided to play hard to get, which in turn got your mothers dander up and she decided to come after me with both guns blazing."

Lois smiled enjoying the recounting, urging her dad to go on, seeing the keen look in his daughters eyes he continued. "I continued to play hard to get, your mother was determined to get me and we finally had a blazing row where I told her that she was going to marry me, I wasn't interested in a 'relationship', I wanted everything. She yelled back that I was damn well going to marry her or there'd be hell to pay." He gave a shout of laughter. "Then we looked at each other, realised just what we'd said and began to laugh, we were engaged that night."

Lois smiled through tears. "You have a lot of your mother in you Lo, but you also have a lot of me." He said softly wiping her cheek with his thumb.

"I think that makes me lucky." She nodded, laying her head on her father's shoulder. "I love you daddy."

"I love you too Lo, I know I didn't do very well by you and Lucy, I'm sorry honey. When you're mom died, a part of me died with her and I was scared, I was so scared I was going to lose you and Lucy too." He said quietly. "I should have done better by both of you; if your mom had been alive she would have kicked my ass."

Lois lifted her head, her eyes full of understanding. "You did what you knew how to do daddy, you brought us up in the army way and hey at least I can say that I knew how to protect myself if I ever needed to, not many other girls of 10 could say the same."

"I'm proud of you Lo, I'm proud of both my girls." Her dad said kissing her on the forehead.

"I'm proud of you too, I always have been." She replied sincerely kissing him on the cheek.

The rest of the dance passed quietly.

OoO

"Are you ok mom?" Clark asked steering his mom around the dance floor.

"I'm fine honey, I was just thinking about your father, he would have been so proud of you and tickled that you and Lois were engaged." Martha replied wiping her thumb across her eye.

"I know, even when I didn't like Lois, you and dad were crazy about her." He smiled in remembrance.

"We really were and couldn't understand why you didn't like her." Martha laughed quietly "But I think I now know why."

Clark cocked his head and lifted his brows in curiosity.

"I think deep down you knew that Lois was the one for you, but you wanted Lana so you put up roadblocks in your mind, determined not to like Lois." She said with a knowing smile.

"I think you're right and Lois' reasons for not liking me." He asked smiling.

"That's easy sweetie, you were a pain." She promptly replied laughing quietly.

"Thanks mom, you know you weren't this frank when I was a teenager, I remember you being a lot more understanding." Clark chided with a smile.

"I'm teasing honey, I think her reasons were the same as yours, she knew that you were the one for her, but it wasn't what she wanted so she was fighting against it."

He nodded and smiled. "I love you mom, I've had a lot of lucky days in my life, but the two that stand out as the most significant are the day that you and dad found me, and the day Lois said that she loved me."

"You were ours from the moment we saw you Clark, and don't you think it's also significant that just as your dad and I found you in a cornfield, that Lois found you in one too."

"Yeah I do, I've thought about that, and I think just as Jor-El sent me to be with you and dad, he sent me back just in time for Lois to find me; he knew that I'd need all of you."

"I think he knew we all needed each other." Martha corrected, "The two of you need each other, your dad and I needed both of you and you needed all of us in return."

He nodded in agreement, and looking over his head watched as his fiancé danced with her dad.

"You're right mom, we all needed each other." He amended quietly.

OoO

The party finally wound down at midnight, the last of the guests had left, the only ones left behind were a few members of the JLA, Lana and those of the household.

Everyone sat around the kitchen table, perched on chairs, stools or just propped up the wall, drinking coffee or hot chocolate.

"Martha you throw one hell of a party." Bruce said lifting his cup in a toast and when everyone concurred and lifted their glasses in praise of her, Martha flushed in pleasure.

"Oh stop, I didn't actually do that much." She said waving her arm.

"Yes you did mom, you and Chloe cooked up one hell of a storm, Lana too, it was a beautiful party, the best one I've ever been too." Clark said staunchly, grinning at the good natured ribbing of his friends.

"The best one huh, now I wonder why that is? AC, Bart, you know why Clark thinks it's the best one he's been too?" Oliver asked drolly.

As everyone laughed and teased him, Clark buried his face in Lois' hair shaking with silent laughter.

After another 30 minutes of talking, Martha finally declared herself ready for sleep. "Well it's getting late, so I'm going to bed." She yawned, bussing Clark and Lois on the cheeks.

"Hang on mom before you go." Racing upstairs Clark duly returned with two envelopes, which he passed to Chloe and Martha. "We wanted to thank you both for everything you did, not only for the party, but for this past week."

"Honey you didn't have to give me anything, I'm your mom." Martha protested and Chloe nodding in agreement. "I'm your best friend."

"We know, but the two of you did the majority of the work for this party and it would never have been the success it was without either of you. But I also wanted to thank you for helping Clark this week." Lois said getting up and hugging both women, switching with Clark when he joined in.

"Lana we got you something too." Clark said handing a third envelope to her.

"Thank you but I agree with Chloe and Martha, you really didn't have to." She protested.

"We wanted to." He replied with a smile grasping her hand and squeezing gently.

"Well c'mon ladies, what'd you get?" Bart asked his voice breaking up the sentimental moment making everyone laugh.

Upon opening their envelopes, Chloe and Martha found they had both received vouchers to a full day's treatment at the beauty salon; they could have anything done and before leaving were to be given a gift basket full of beauty products.

Both women smiled looking forward to the visit. "Martha we'll go together, we'll fix up a time and date, what'd you say?" At Martha's eager smile, Chloe nodded satisfied.

"Don't forget me Chloe, I'm going too." Lois put forward, determined not to be left out.

"You bet, the three of us can go and be spoiled all day." Chloe replied, avidly looking forward to the visit.

"Yep and then we'll go back to our apartment and either order dinner or Clark can cook." Lois nodded, hooking her arm around his waist.

"Lana what did you get dear?" Martha asked curiously.

Opening her envelope she found a gift voucher to Bloomingdales "Thank you, I love this store."

"We know." Clark laughed and Lois nodded and smiled.

"Well everyone, now I am going to bed, goodnight." Kissing her son and Lois again Martha retreated upstairs.

It wasn't long before everyone else left leaving only Chloe, Clark, Lois and Lana.

"I'm off to bed too, thanks again Chlo and you too Lana, I really appreciate all your help." Lois said rubbing her hand over the back of Clark's neck and shoulder before going upstairs.

The three stayed talking for a further 20 minutes until they were all yawning.

"I'd better be heading off too, see you guys tomorrow ok." Lana said quietly standing up and making her way to the door.

Chloe yawned. "Goodnight, see you tomorrow." She waved just before Lana walked out closing the door behind her.

"I'm off too, goodnight Chlo."

"Night Clark."

OoO

Clark quickly showered, brushed his teeth and walked into the bedroom to find Lois wrapped in her robe and pulling aside the covers of the bed preparatory to climbing in.

"Damn you've taken your shoes off." He said in disappointment.

"You'll have to catch me next time I'm wearing them." She replied, lightly laughing at his pout.

"I will." He promised. "Are you really sleepy Lo?"

"Yes, so don't get any ideas."

"Damn." He said again, helping her to remove her robe and hugging her from behind, swept aside her hair and kissed the back of her neck "Are you sure you're tired?" He murmured sweeping his hands up and down her torso.

"I'm sure, so how about we get in bed and go to sleep." She returned dryly.

Feeling tired himself; he threw off his robe and climbed into bed. "I love you baby."

"You'd better, I don't get engaged to just anyone y'know."

"You're never going to be engaged to anyone but me." He affirmed kissing the side of her mouth, then spooned around her, his hand softly rubbing over her tummy.

"Clark." Lois said drowsily, running her fingers over his arm.

"Hmm."

"I love you."

"You'd better." He repeated smiling into her hair and cuddling her tighter.

OoO

Lana lay in bed wearing Clark's shirt the tears streaming down her face. She hadn't found anything, nothing that could help her, nothing that could change anything and until she did, he was lost to her for good.

If the timing was right she'd do a love spell on him, but to do one now, so soon after the last incident would make everyone suspicious. The hurt she felt at knowing he believed he didn't love her but another was excruciating.

She would get him back, she'd never give up, but for now she had to be content with dreams. Rolling over she hugged a pillow to her chest pretending it was Clark, and fell asleep to memories of how he'd felt against her only a few nights previous.

The End…..for now

OoO

Authors Note: Don't go away thinking that Lana got away clean with everything, she won a minor battle but she didn't win the war. No one knows that she's responsible for everything that's happened but neither did she get Clark. So don't think of her as winner, so much as a less than gracious loser. After all, she's not giving up in her quest to get Clark back in her clutches.

I hope you liked the ending, that wasn't quite an ending but you know what I mean. Please let me know if you're interested in reading the next story in this series.

Linda


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